Today is Tuesday, July 28th.

And I am in Nashville.

Over the next three days I will travel back home to Austin, then up to DC, then over to Paris, then down to South Africa. Then I will get in a car and drive to Swaziland. I will celebrate the arrival of August in a country I have never seen, and on a continent I have yet to visit.

It's been a strange summer gearing up for all of these things. I've waited a long, long time to go to Africa. There was a time in my life when it was my ultimate goal, and as usual the moment I turn my eyes to something else it returns to me effortlessly, and I I don't know what to make of that. I feel blessed, and unprepared and extremely unqualified. I still have no real idea of what I'm expected to do!

I think it's crazy that years ago I sat and watched in jealousy as friends and roommates and fiancés made their way to the one place I wanted to go. It was all I could think about... and now I am 3 days away from being there, and I honestly don't have any strong emotions about it either way, which freaks me out. I don't know... maybe it will hit me on the plane or when I get there. But when I am honest, my greatest fear is that I just don't care as much as I used to.

I don't know. It's been a bizarre year.

In the meantime, if you are the praying kind, send one up for me that I don't get sick or too worn out. I've been tired no matter how much I sleep this past week and I worry about heading over feeling so out of it. I also still have to find several items for the trip and will have about 10 hours to do that as well as pack when I get back to Austin.

I am hoping that being in Africa will provide me with a strange sense of rest, and that being surrounded by a people whose lives are filled with so much less "stuff" will help me get my head on straight again.

Stay tuned, I'll try to give an update once I get in country.

Who's up to the Challenge?

So part of my 101 is to read through the Bible. As some of you likely remember this was a part of my last 101, and sadly, was not accomplished. So this time, I mean business!! As such I'm starting the "90 day plan." Apparently you can read through the Bible in 90 days for as little as 30 minutes a day. Speaking for me personally, if I can read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in 10 hours, then I should darn well be able to do this! (not to mention that HP 5 is longer than the old testament and I've read that several times over.. the Old testament.. not so much. Shame)

So all that to say, I'm starting today... who's with me?! I can send you the pdf reading plan.... or if you are internet friendly, you can add THIS to your RSS feed and get your daily reading.. just be sure to mark down where you started...

Join me?

In other words...

I've been frustrated lately.

-Maybe it's the 23 consecutive days that we've had temperatures over 100
-Maybe it's the cough that has refused to go away for 4 weeks now even after I folded and went to the doctor and took antibiotics,
-Maybe it's the pinched nerve under my ribs that resulted from said cough
-Maybe it's the 3 different job opportunities that cancelled on me at the last moment, leaving me jobless for 2.5 weeks
-Maybe it's that my plans, both short term and long term, are completely up in the air with little direction... where I'll be living, what I'll be doing, and what my purpose is continue to be a mystery to me.

I know this is all a part of it. As long as I live on this earth there will be sickness and disappointment and confusion. I know there's no such thing as certainty or security... and I know how inclined I am to change my own mind. Most of the time I enjoy-wheeling and taking things a day at a time, but some days, and most days lately, it comes awfully close to driving me crazy. I know I have a lot to be thankful for and that I of all people shouldn't be complaining..

I know all of this... but that doesn't seem to make it any less frustrating.

Maybe I'm just easily frustrated?