An update eventually.. but for now: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

NICKEL CREEK AND FIONA APPLE ANNOUNCE COLLABORATIVE TOUR
Two Groundbreaking Artists Will Share The Stage As Part of Nickel Creek's "Farewell (For Now) Tour"

Visionary singer/songwriter Fiona Apple will join Nickel Creek's "Farewell (For Now) Tour" for what promises to be a highly collaborative series of shows in August.

The dates begin August 2nd in Baltimore MD, and wrap August 19 in Westbury, NY. Shows in Charlotte, Philadelphia, Boston, Chicago, and a performance at New York's Rumsey Playfield are included. A full itinerary is available on www.nickelcreek.com

The members of Nickel Creek and Apple met several years ago in Los Angeles, and began occasionally working together at the club Largo - an intimate and magnetic music club that has become legendary for stellar lineups and surprise appearances. A loose and friendly musical exchange began with Apple sitting in on Sean and Sara Waktins' ‘anything goes' "Watkins Family Hour," and with either Thile or the Watkins returning the favor whenever possible.

For the August dates, fans will be treated to an expansion of those collaborations developed at Largo. Naturally, material will be pulled from both artists' solo catalogues, but fans can also expect to hear anything from pop standards to country classics to modern rock covers. Apple's presentation will be unique in that she will rely on Nickel Creek for back up during her set.

Fiona Apple established herself as a visionary singer/songwriter at age 19 with 1996's debut album, Tidal. That stunning record went on to earn her a Grammy Award in 1998 for "Best Female Rock Vocal Performance," establishing her as an uncompromising and original artist while gaining intensely loyal fans all over the world. Her latest record, the remarkable Extraordinary Machine, was the highest charting album of her career and drew rave reviews from critics nationwide, with the New York Times and Entertainment Weekly each proclaiming it to be the album of the year.

Nickel Creek announced their forthcoming break via Billboard last year to give their fervent fanbase a chance to see them again. The Grammy-winning band wrapped the first leg of the "Farewell (For Now) Tour" after a highly successful string of shows, including performances at Coachella and the inaugural Stagecoach festival. The second leg of the tour will begin July 13 with longtime friend Glenn Philips as the opener. A final leg in October and November will conclude the tour. Award-winning acoustic bassist Mark Shatz, who has been touring with them since 2003, will accompany the band for the entire tour.

Tour dates with Nickel Creek and Fiona Apple are as follows:
8.02.07 Baltimore, MD Pier Six Concert Pavilion
8.03.07 Glen Allen, VA Innsbrook Pavilion
8.04.07 Charlottesville, VA Charlottesville Pavilion
8.05.07 Charlotte, NC Ovens Auditorium
8.07.07 Columbus, OH The LC Pavillion
8.10.07 Highland Park, IL Ravinia Pavilion
8.11.07 Rochester Hills, MI MeadowBrook Music Festival
8.12.07 Peoria, IL CEFCU Center Stage at the Landing
8.14.07 New York, NY Rumsey Playfield
8.16.07 Rochester, NY High Falls Festival Site
8.17.07 Boston, MA Band of America Pavilion
8.18.07 Philadelphia, PA Mann Center for the Performing Arts
8.19.07 Westbury, NY North Fork Theater

It's dangerous to confuse children with angels.

I watched half of Magnolia last night.

It's been a long time since I've seen that movie. I remember the first time being extremely frustrated by it, but last night things seemed to click into place a bit better. I guess some things just need a second go around before you can really appreciate them.... who knows.

The film deals with two juxstaposing themes: 1. The idea that things are random, that strange things happen all the time. and 2. That the choices we make directly, and drastically affect not only ourselves, but those around us.

With those two things in mind, the movie is pretty incredible. If you spend the movie wondering when the frogs will fall... well, that can ruin it for you.

So with that said, you should watch it if you haven't yet.

I'll leave you with my favorite scene from the movie: A (sad) quote from Earl Partridge on his deathbed:

This is the regret that you make. This is the... regret that you make and the something you take and the blah, blah, blah, something, something... Mistakes like this... you don't make. Sometimes... you make some and OK. Not OK, sometimes, you make other ones. Know that you should do better. I loved Lily. I cheated on her. She was my wife for twenty-three years. And I have a son. And she has cancer. And I'm not there, and he's forced to take care of her. He's fourteen years old. To... to take care of his mother... and watch her die on him. A little kid, and I'm not there. And she does die.

I loved her so. And she knew what I did. She knew all the fucking stupid things I'd done. But the love... was stronger than anything you can think of. The goddamn regret. The goddamn regret! Oh, and I'll die. Now I'll die, and I'll tell you what... the biggest regret of my life... I let my love go. What did I do? I'm sixty-five years old. And I'm ashamed. A million years ago... the fucking regret and guilt, these things, don't ever let anyone ever say to you you shouldn't regret anything. Don't do that. Don't! You regret what you fucking want! Use that. Use that. Use that regret for anything, any way you want. You can use it, OK? Oh, God. A little moral story, I say... Love. Love. Love. This fucking life... oh, it's so fucking hard. So long. Life ain't short, it's long. It's long, goddamn it. Goddamn. What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? Phil. Phil, help me. What did I do?

And remember kids, "And so it goes, and so it goes. And the book says, "We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us."

The things you learn on HGTV.

This goes out to the 10 or so of you that are getting married this summer/fall.

Good luck!!
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So, I pride myself in the fact that I once planned a wedding with roughly 400 guests for just at (read: barely under) $10,000.

However, there were doubts. Perhaps $10,000 is too much to spend on a wedding... logically, one would think so. $10,000 is quite a bit a money... But when churches charge a minimum of $600 and invitations start at $300... it all adds up pretty quickly, even with just the basic, basic things.

So, imagine my intrigue as I sat channel surfing today while babysitting and I ran across a special on a couple planning a wedding for $10,000! This I had to see.

Would they too struggle to make budget? Would they work to stretch the money as far as it could possibly go? Would they cut item after item after item and still feel guilty and girly planning a big day while secretly wishing they could throw a fun party, without worrying about the money, and really celebrate their love and Gods work in their lives with their families and best friends?

Lo ho ho! The show started with everyone in shock over such a small budget..but they did it. They managed the wedding for $10,000...

...one small difference though..

They had 70 guests. SEVENTY!

They got married in a friends backyard, they had cupcakes instead of cake, and they invited 70 people and they somehow still spent $10,000. AMAZING. Even more amazing: that budget did not include anyone's attire.

I am a thrifty woman! I worked off the same budget, (which I came in under!) and I had more the FIVE TIMES as many guests to deal with!!!

Granted, they served dinner, they had a bar, they had dancing, a dj, all that fun excessive stuff... but still. Aren't weddings supposed to be a celebration of the work that God ahs done? The joining of two lives, two families? Shoudln't you try and spread it out among as many friends and family as possible before piling on the extras? I dunno. ANYWAYS...I worried about being excessive.. I went through the budget over, and over, and over again. I eliminated tons of things that weren't entirely necessary: no dinner, no bar, no dancing, no limos, no rented cars,no personalized napkins, no save the date cards, no RSVP cards, no consultants or planners, lots of fake flowers.. etc. We even made the decorations by hand rather than buying, renting or ordering them because though it was time consuming, we found would could save a lot of money in the end.

Never again can anyone tell me that "huge amounts of money were being spent on things that were so unnecessary."

No.

No.

The truth is, no matter who you are, where you are from, or where your wedding is happening: when it comes to weddings, or any big event really (you should see the price of funerals..$15,000 and up. No joke.) HUGE amounts of money START in the thousands. So how could I have spent "huge amounts of money on things that weren't necessary" if I never in fact spent more than that on any one thing? This just doesn't make sense. At first I thought it was just me, but now the entire Home and Garden network has confirmed it!

In addition, this site: www.costofwedding.com states that:

On average, U.S. couples spend $28,800 for their wedding. This does not include cost for a honeymoon, engagement ring, bridal consultant or wedding planner.

They even offer an estimator that provides an average estimate for weddings depending on your city. FYI, for those of you in OKC, your estimated cost is: $23,900. For those in Nashville yours is: $27,650 and those in San Diego... sorry, but yours is: $31,970. Damn that California cost of living! (really you should all be getting married closer to me anyhow!)

I had 2 things in my planned wedding that cost $1,000: the photographer and the catering. Period. Nothing more expensive... in fact, the freaking CHURCH was the next most expensive thing. Not the dress, not the decorations, not a liquor tab, not a musician fee, Nope. I suppose the church may count as "unnecessary" for some people.. it all depends I suppose.

It's crazy, and you really don't know until you are there yourself.

I've been to a lot of weddings, all across America. Only 1 of which was done for under $10,000.... and that was in Oklahoma obviously.

But it can be done. There's hope, I did it! And apparently so did the couple on HGTV.

Funny thing is, the name of the HGTV show? "Designer Weddings FOR LESS" hahaha they say that $10,000 = for LESS! Wow.

Anyhow... just thought I'd put some actual statistics out there, along with some real life experiece from someone who apparently defied the statistics.

Don't stress, and let me know if you need anything. =)

June 8th.

Today is my last day at work.

Unbelievable!

I sit here, eating some cheese popcorn, drinking my Diet Dr. Pepper, blogging for you dear reader, and I ask myself: Why is it that I am quitting this job?

Oh yes, that's right.. because it's boring, it barely pays the bills and most days I want to cut myself. Not to mention the guilt that stems from doing the aforementioned things while avoiding all the data entry I should be doing. Alright, I suppose that's reason enough.

Anyhow. It's hard to believe that I've been at this job for 7 months. SEVEN MONTHS. It seemed so slow, but now looking backwards, I can't believe that 7 months have gone by. Where did they go? What was I doing? Seriously.

Alas, now I move out into the land of self-employment. the land of "freelancing" the land of "self-solicitation." The land of "part-time work." Ughh. I hate that land too. I have lived in that land before. I was in that land for 6 months after graduation while planning a wedding and being uninsured. Hard times.

But not impossible times. I did it before and I have a feeling it won't be as difficult this time. After all, this time I am insured, and I only have me to worry about. I don't have to stress about supporting 2 people. I don't have the added joyful stress of planning a wedding, or the emotional turmoil of "unplanning" one. I've been paying all my own bills for the past 7 months, so now I have a better idea of my finances and what's required each month. Before it was all sort of ambiguous.. but now that Sallie Mae and I are like next of kin I pretty much know how to handle all of that. I've been writing as if I were a freshman in college again (remember those days?), the band is forming and working things out, I'm an ASCAP member now, and I've got some leads on some session work. I wouldn't say that things are "falling into place" necessarily, but hopefully they are headed in the right direction.

So we'll see what happens.

I've decided this is my new beginning.

Fasten your seat belts, here we go.

Cheers!

Lonely.

"Love. We all crave it. We were made for it, and if we don’t receive it, some essential part of our hearts undoubtedly fades away. To love and be loved are not just innate desires, they are life or death needs.

In North American society and culture where looking "Calm, cool and collected" is considered an asset, the need for love is often believed to be a weakness instead of appreciated as a quality of one’s humanity—made in the image of the God who loves. And so, like the black notebook hiding underneath a seemingly neat and tidy bed, one can put on a mask that asserts to others they, "Have it all together" in an attempt to hide their cavernous inner hunger to be treasured, understood, held, heard ... loved. Whether one is successful at hiding their eternal heartache for love, the fact remains: We all desperately crave love, to give it and to receive it."

I've been pretty lonely lately.

Lonely at home. Lonely at work. Lonely alone. Lonely with groups.

Not debilitating lonely... just, achey lonely.

I miss the friendships that I have lost; and having to accept the fact that they are broken, that they will never be fixed, that they are never coming back has been a hard thing to deal with.

Now I know: I have had an amazing life. I've been to amazing places. I've experienced amazing things. I've done amazing things. I've met amazing people. I've lived out a fabulously tragic love story. Kudos to me.

And yet I find myself lacking. Detatched. And lonely.

Lonely.

Lonely for those friendships that just "are." Those friendships that just "work."

Of course, I'm beginning to wonder whether any of that is true anymore. 99% of those friendships I've experienced have fizzled, faded and died. So maybe they are nonexistent, or perhaps just short lived. Who knows.

All I know is this: I miss feeling protected. I miss having a person to call home. I really miss being able to take care of someone. I miss having someone to tangibly see and sit and talk with at any time on any given day.

And I realize what I miss.

I miss love.

Not in the "I love you." "No, I love you" "no I love YOU" ooey gooey kind of way... but in the comfortable kind of way. The kind of love that is two people sitting together not having to say or do anything, sometimes doing 2 completely different things.

And I know that Jesus is all of those things. But let's be honest, sometimes that just doesn't feel like enough. Sometimes I just want to be held. Tangibly, physicaly held. Most days I need to hear that I am loved. I need to audibly hear it, and from someone other than my family. Of course my family loves me, of course Jesus loves me, they have to! Is it so much to ask to hear it from someone who is choosing to? Someone who will choose to, who won't change their mind later? Does that even exist?

I don't do relationships, but even with friendships I still want someone to walk with me so I'm not walking alone with my thoughts for 2 hours a day. I want someone to watch movies with, to discuss books with, to go get coffee with, to go to church with. I want someone who can sit in front of me and tell me I'm being ridiculous, impulsive and impatient in as loving a way as possible. I want someone who will cry with me. I want someone who will laugh with me. I want someone who will make me laugh. I want someone who can write with me, play out with me, record with me, inspire me, push me to work harder, tell me to take a break, and help me relax. I want someone to go exploring with, someone who can help me understand God and what He's doing, someone who will encourage me, someone who believes in me, someone I can call repeatedly at 2am, someone who will randomly surprise me, someone who will hold me, someone I can fall asleep with on the couch while watching a boring movie...etc.

And I want to be that someone for somebody else. I really do. Oddly enough, I could probably feel fulfilled if I could just be that for someone, even with nothing in return. But I know that's not how it works. That it would work for a while but fail in the end.. and it would be wrong for me to take that road.

Again, I know Jesus Himself is all of those things (and should be all of those things to me), but I guess I just wish he was physically here. After a while, praying and conversing with the people upstairs starts to feel a lot like talking to yourself.