Ahh Surveys...
10 years ago I was: 11, and in 6th grade. I had just made all-state childrens choir and had the lead in the church musical. I was on the road to the big time, and I had a huge crush on Grant Fisher... the principals son. I was also scared to death of being caught for helping people cheat on Accelerated Reader Tests... haha.
5 years ago I was: 16, a junior in high school, in love and afraid of getting pregnant. (which couldn’t have happened in my situation... I just knew a lot of pregnant girls, so it freaked me out)
1 year ago I was: excited about everything. (and a good student)
Yesterday I : started my day at 9:30am and went nonstop till about 12:30.. and yet I didn’t go to any classes...
5 snacks I enjoy: cheezits, almond joys, popcorn, cheese, and dr. pepper
5 songs I know all the words to: I don’t even know where to start on that one.
5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
-pay off my loans
-get a new car that loves me
-buy a nice place
-Build Tanya her chinese orphanage
-surprise a lot of people
5 places I would run away to:
-new york city
-san diego
-Frankfurt
-South Africa
-stillwater. to see my friends =(
5 things I would never wear:
-a dallas cowboys jersey
-white jeans
-anything luis vuiton
-hardcore bling.. or any bling really...
-my heart on my sleeve (ohh ever the idealist...nice one blake)
5 favorite TV shows:
-gilmore girls
-24
-lost
-VH1’s I love the __’s (any decade)
-hmm best week ever? wow... tv...been awhile...
5 bad habits:
-fear
-caffeine
-busyness? business?
-improper spelling
-sarcasm
-procrastination
-not saying ‘no’ enough
-a certain disregard for rules and instructions
5 biggest joys:
-hugs
-people
-music
-pictures
-napping
-laughing really hard
-ignoring the rules
-guacamole
-my cats!
-finding money you forgot you had
-cool weather
-fresh snow
5 favorite toys:
-my ipod (getting full!)
-my ibook
-when I still had it, my cool electronic 20 Questions game!
-my refrigerator magnets
-even though I don’t use it enough, my guitar
5 fictional characters I would date:
-Lloyd Dobler
-Gilbert Blythe
-Theodore ”Laurie” Laurence
-Neil Perry
-Shawn Hunter (ahh the good ole days)
9.29.2005
9.25.2005
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand... once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand... once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
9.23.2005
Yes. I am a dork.
But wow, I am so proud of this.... thanks to UCDavis and Belmont University's Statement of Values for the help! Sigh. Too bad I can't be graded on this stuff. =(
A petition stating student, faculty and staff support for Belmont University to purchase and sell certified, organic Fair Trade, and shade-grown coffee...
WHEREAS, Belmont University is “a community seeking to uphold Christian standards of morality and ethics;” and
WHEREAS, Belmont University requires students to “behave responsibly in an effort to create a climate of mutual respect;” and
WHEREAS, Belmont University calls for “insistence on fair and just treatment for all individuals;” and
WHEREAS, many students are looking for more socially conscious and environmentally responsible ways to conduct their lives, ways which are fair and just and do not degrade people, animals or the environment; and
WHEREAS, many coffee farmers receive market payments for their coffee which are less than the costs of production, forcing them into a cycle of poverty and debt; and
WHEREAS, intensive coffee farming also leads to environmental problems, such as pesticide pollution, deforestation and the extinction of some bird species through habitat destruction; and
WHEREAS, Fair Trade works to correct these imbalances by guaranteeing a minimum wage for the small producers' harvest, as well as encouraging the cultivation of coffee without the use of pesticides; and
WHEREAS, with the profit generated from receiving a fair wage, coffee growers are able to invest in such areas as health, education and environmental protection; and
WHEREAS, more than 500,000 farmers in 20 countries produce and sell more than 32 million pounds of coffee each year through the Fair Trade network; and
WHEREAS, the United States consumes a fifth of all coffee produced in the world, and as a whole consumes the greatest amount of goods and services in the world, invests the most capital and thus wields tremendous influence in the global economy; and
WHEREAS, a current example of a charitably owned Fair Trade supplier is Pura Vida, which commits to carrying only fair trade, organic, shade-grown coffee; and
WHEREAS, Pura Vida is a full-service company that is competitive with the current Belmont University supplier and that has experience with larger institutions; and
WHEREAS, as a purchaser of goods and services, Belmont University has a responsibility to ensure that funds are spent in a manner consistent with decent ethical and labor standards, including assuring that workers are paid a living wage, and purchasing goods made in the fairest manner when possible; and
WHEREAS, a change towards sustainable coffee will reflect positively on the University and its students, by setting an example in the community and furthering education about responsible consumer choices;
THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED THAT, insofar as is judged practical and feasible by the Belmont University management, the undersigned request that Belmont University purchase all its coffee from the most socially and environmentally responsible cooperatives available; and that coffee purchased shall be organic, shade-grown, and Fair Trade certified by independent certifying agencies; and
THEREFORE BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED THAT,
The undersigned encourage university and community leaders to adopt an ethical policy for social and environmental responsibility
THEREFORE BE IT FINALLY RESOLVED THAT, copies of this petition shall be sent to President Dr. Robert Fisher; Dr. Dan McAlexander; Dr. Herbert Gabhart; Dr. Todd Lake; Dr. Jason Rogers; Ms. Paula Lovell; Dr. Bethel E. Thomas Jr.; Dr. Harry Hollis ; The Belmont Vision
A petition stating student, faculty and staff support for Belmont University to purchase and sell certified, organic Fair Trade, and shade-grown coffee...
WHEREAS, Belmont University is “a community seeking to uphold Christian standards of morality and ethics;” and
WHEREAS, Belmont University requires students to “behave responsibly in an effort to create a climate of mutual respect;” and
WHEREAS, Belmont University calls for “insistence on fair and just treatment for all individuals;” and
WHEREAS, many students are looking for more socially conscious and environmentally responsible ways to conduct their lives, ways which are fair and just and do not degrade people, animals or the environment; and
WHEREAS, many coffee farmers receive market payments for their coffee which are less than the costs of production, forcing them into a cycle of poverty and debt; and
WHEREAS, intensive coffee farming also leads to environmental problems, such as pesticide pollution, deforestation and the extinction of some bird species through habitat destruction; and
WHEREAS, Fair Trade works to correct these imbalances by guaranteeing a minimum wage for the small producers' harvest, as well as encouraging the cultivation of coffee without the use of pesticides; and
WHEREAS, with the profit generated from receiving a fair wage, coffee growers are able to invest in such areas as health, education and environmental protection; and
WHEREAS, more than 500,000 farmers in 20 countries produce and sell more than 32 million pounds of coffee each year through the Fair Trade network; and
WHEREAS, the United States consumes a fifth of all coffee produced in the world, and as a whole consumes the greatest amount of goods and services in the world, invests the most capital and thus wields tremendous influence in the global economy; and
WHEREAS, a current example of a charitably owned Fair Trade supplier is Pura Vida, which commits to carrying only fair trade, organic, shade-grown coffee; and
WHEREAS, Pura Vida is a full-service company that is competitive with the current Belmont University supplier and that has experience with larger institutions; and
WHEREAS, as a purchaser of goods and services, Belmont University has a responsibility to ensure that funds are spent in a manner consistent with decent ethical and labor standards, including assuring that workers are paid a living wage, and purchasing goods made in the fairest manner when possible; and
WHEREAS, a change towards sustainable coffee will reflect positively on the University and its students, by setting an example in the community and furthering education about responsible consumer choices;
THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED THAT, insofar as is judged practical and feasible by the Belmont University management, the undersigned request that Belmont University purchase all its coffee from the most socially and environmentally responsible cooperatives available; and that coffee purchased shall be organic, shade-grown, and Fair Trade certified by independent certifying agencies; and
THEREFORE BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED THAT,
The undersigned encourage university and community leaders to adopt an ethical policy for social and environmental responsibility
THEREFORE BE IT FINALLY RESOLVED THAT, copies of this petition shall be sent to President Dr. Robert Fisher; Dr. Dan McAlexander; Dr. Herbert Gabhart; Dr. Todd Lake; Dr. Jason Rogers; Ms. Paula Lovell; Dr. Bethel E. Thomas Jr.; Dr. Harry Hollis ; The Belmont Vision
9.22.2005
It's the first day of fall.
I love fall, and that's reason enough for a post. Wahoo!
So I read 3 of Don Miller's books this summer, and I've been meaning to promote them for a while now. Yeah yeah, I hear ya.. "Blue Like Jazz, I know, I know, I've heard already." Yes 'Blue Like Jazz' is wonderful. Personally I think it should be required reading for all college freshman or something, but his other books aren't bad either. I read "Through Painted Deserts" during my trip to Scotland this summer. Good stuff. Technically, this was his first book but it was reworked and redistributed after "Blue Like Jazz" made it big. It's the perfect book for those transitional times in life... basically it's the story of a roadtrip and encounters with God along the way, and it's more of a novel.. think less spiritual non-fiction. Then there's "Searching for God Knows What" aka: Miller's plea for the world to abandon the "lifeboat theory." Again, marvelous.
Anyways, I was thinking about Don Miller lately. About his books. About his ideas. About the things he has to say. And I was reading through all my marvelous highlighting and I ran across a few points to ponder..such as:
'It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things."
So true. I got to thinking about the simple things that have changed my life. Signing up to be on H&H's e-mail list 3 years ago.. dang. If I had any idea.. i might not have signed up. =) But seriously, it's simple things like writing down your e-mail address that change you from being a Blondie wannabe to someone who idolizes Nelson Mandela. And you never see it coming...even when you look back later and see all the signs.. it never really makes sense. And that's so wonderful, and so frustrating all at the same time.
Which brings me to another point.. "God is always changing the way I think of Him. I am not saying God Himself is changing, or that my theology is open and I blur the lines on truth; I am only saying I think I know who He is, then I figure out I don't know very much at all."
Again. So true. God is confusing. But I take comfort in the fact that I don't have to have Him figured out... and it would probably scare the crap out of me if I did. God is a mystery... and that's not always such a bad thing. Thankfully I find Jesus a bit more 'relatable.'
In one of his books, I forget which one, Miller talks about how he feels that Jesus would like him..that if Jesus were actually walking around on earth that he would be interested in spending time with him. So I got to thinking about this... about Jesus and our realtionship, and the friendship aspect of it, and the things we would do if He were here. I don't understand much about God at all, but I could really see Jesus liking me, wanting to hang out. Jesus would lay on the floor with me at work and make multiple copies of hurricane relief posters with cheap washable markers. Jesus would make me hot chocolate and sit and talk with me after class in my empty apartment. He'd challenge my ideas and teach me to do the same. He'd help me understand all those parables. He'd tell me about His friends and His dad. Jesus would tuck me in at night, go to the movies with me, help me pick out clothes, discuss books and films and art with me. Jesus would compliment my singing and encourage me and tell me when I'm being stupid and stubborn or mean. He'd get upset when I ditched class.. he'd tell me to stop being lazy, but he would encourage me toward excellence and integrity. He'd remind me that people were never meant to be dispensible, that beauty and truth are not what we think they are, and that individual 'worth' and 'value' are not dependent on the opinions of society, our culture, our enemies, our friends or our circumstances. He'd be content just to sit with me without conversation. We could eat dinner together, go do laundry, wash dishes and volunteer together. He'd show me how to love people well. He'd motivate me to be a better person. He'd make me take a day off when I'm sick. He'd make me soup and tea and just sit and talk with me, cry with me, laugh with me. He'd take me out of the house when I've been there too long alone. He'd take me to new and exciting places and old and familiar places. He'd help me with algebra and he'd remind me that life is about a lot more than a failed test or a bad audition. He'd help me understand that "why?" is generally an irrelevant question. He'd be someone I could call at 2am to go for a walk with. He'd sit up on top of the parking garage with me and watch the sunset and we could talk about life and happiness and sadness and struggle. And we'd do it together.
And it would be nice.
Geez.. heaven is going to be so awesome.
"I know our culture will sometimes understand a love for Jesus as weakness. There is this lie floating around that says I am supposed to be able to do life alone, without any help, without stopping to worship something bigger than myself. But I actually believe there is something bigger than me, and I need for there to be something bigger than me. I need someone to put awe inside me; I need to come second to someone who has everything figured out." -Donald Miller
So I read 3 of Don Miller's books this summer, and I've been meaning to promote them for a while now. Yeah yeah, I hear ya.. "Blue Like Jazz, I know, I know, I've heard already." Yes 'Blue Like Jazz' is wonderful. Personally I think it should be required reading for all college freshman or something, but his other books aren't bad either. I read "Through Painted Deserts" during my trip to Scotland this summer. Good stuff. Technically, this was his first book but it was reworked and redistributed after "Blue Like Jazz" made it big. It's the perfect book for those transitional times in life... basically it's the story of a roadtrip and encounters with God along the way, and it's more of a novel.. think less spiritual non-fiction. Then there's "Searching for God Knows What" aka: Miller's plea for the world to abandon the "lifeboat theory." Again, marvelous.
Anyways, I was thinking about Don Miller lately. About his books. About his ideas. About the things he has to say. And I was reading through all my marvelous highlighting and I ran across a few points to ponder..such as:
'It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things."
So true. I got to thinking about the simple things that have changed my life. Signing up to be on H&H's e-mail list 3 years ago.. dang. If I had any idea.. i might not have signed up. =) But seriously, it's simple things like writing down your e-mail address that change you from being a Blondie wannabe to someone who idolizes Nelson Mandela. And you never see it coming...even when you look back later and see all the signs.. it never really makes sense. And that's so wonderful, and so frustrating all at the same time.
Which brings me to another point.. "God is always changing the way I think of Him. I am not saying God Himself is changing, or that my theology is open and I blur the lines on truth; I am only saying I think I know who He is, then I figure out I don't know very much at all."
Again. So true. God is confusing. But I take comfort in the fact that I don't have to have Him figured out... and it would probably scare the crap out of me if I did. God is a mystery... and that's not always such a bad thing. Thankfully I find Jesus a bit more 'relatable.'
In one of his books, I forget which one, Miller talks about how he feels that Jesus would like him..that if Jesus were actually walking around on earth that he would be interested in spending time with him. So I got to thinking about this... about Jesus and our realtionship, and the friendship aspect of it, and the things we would do if He were here. I don't understand much about God at all, but I could really see Jesus liking me, wanting to hang out. Jesus would lay on the floor with me at work and make multiple copies of hurricane relief posters with cheap washable markers. Jesus would make me hot chocolate and sit and talk with me after class in my empty apartment. He'd challenge my ideas and teach me to do the same. He'd help me understand all those parables. He'd tell me about His friends and His dad. Jesus would tuck me in at night, go to the movies with me, help me pick out clothes, discuss books and films and art with me. Jesus would compliment my singing and encourage me and tell me when I'm being stupid and stubborn or mean. He'd get upset when I ditched class.. he'd tell me to stop being lazy, but he would encourage me toward excellence and integrity. He'd remind me that people were never meant to be dispensible, that beauty and truth are not what we think they are, and that individual 'worth' and 'value' are not dependent on the opinions of society, our culture, our enemies, our friends or our circumstances. He'd be content just to sit with me without conversation. We could eat dinner together, go do laundry, wash dishes and volunteer together. He'd show me how to love people well. He'd motivate me to be a better person. He'd make me take a day off when I'm sick. He'd make me soup and tea and just sit and talk with me, cry with me, laugh with me. He'd take me out of the house when I've been there too long alone. He'd take me to new and exciting places and old and familiar places. He'd help me with algebra and he'd remind me that life is about a lot more than a failed test or a bad audition. He'd help me understand that "why?" is generally an irrelevant question. He'd be someone I could call at 2am to go for a walk with. He'd sit up on top of the parking garage with me and watch the sunset and we could talk about life and happiness and sadness and struggle. And we'd do it together.
And it would be nice.
Geez.. heaven is going to be so awesome.
"I know our culture will sometimes understand a love for Jesus as weakness. There is this lie floating around that says I am supposed to be able to do life alone, without any help, without stopping to worship something bigger than myself. But I actually believe there is something bigger than me, and I need for there to be something bigger than me. I need someone to put awe inside me; I need to come second to someone who has everything figured out." -Donald Miller
WOW time...
That's right. Here they are.. the "Words of the week:"
"A wet learned man is better off than a dry simpleton." -josh
"I’m down." -Cara, via Kristin
"That’s big core." -Cara, via Krisitn
"It’s fun. In a coke dream sort of way." -zack ritchie
"We're all fucked up, some of us just have more days on average." -matt
"u suck at life." -some girls shirt.
"It's better to be hated for who you are then loved for who you're not." -I forget where I read this
-“I’m so hungover right now.” april
-“huh?” danica
-“yeah” april
“But I did it in morse code!” -matt ward
“Yeah, it tastes like fruit snacks.” -Zac Kubilus
"That's the thing about inventive people.. you look at a Piccaso and say, "well, I've never seen anyone who looks like that." and they say, 'Hmm, really? Well I have.. you just aren't looking the right way.'" -John Arnn
"I’m such a hoe about it” -me
"To be alive is to be vulnerable." ~ Madeleine L'engle
"You're amazing Danica." -Sarah Snowbarger
“It’s ok. People have been looking at musicians funny for hundreds of years.” - John Arnn
“Things will get different.”
“let’s get ugly with this song.” -Sandra Dudley
“I’m not inot anyone flogging your brain.” -Henry Smiley
“Stop apologizing.” -Henry smiley
"I don't want to hear you calling home saying 'mom, i'm hearing something nasty in jazz vocal styles.'" -sandra dudley
-"Hey sexy." -truck full of Wal Mart Shoppers
-"Keep dreaming." -Danica
“We can’t see it all.” -Henry Smiley
"How many of you know? How many of you don't know? How many of you won't know if you know until I tell you?" -John Arnn
"You gotta love a term called 'soul gravy.'" -James Elliott
"Well I'm going to start with my old friend C major... you probably know him." -John Arnn
“I’m going to send a little memo to our friend Bob, reminding him that unless you’re at Luby’s, turnovers are a bad thing.” -Danica
-"Stupid fall of man." -Danica
-"and it was eve's fault...." -Josh
-"you would say that." -Danica
"A wet learned man is better off than a dry simpleton." -josh
"I’m down." -Cara, via Kristin
"That’s big core." -Cara, via Krisitn
"It’s fun. In a coke dream sort of way." -zack ritchie
"We're all fucked up, some of us just have more days on average." -matt
"u suck at life." -some girls shirt.
"It's better to be hated for who you are then loved for who you're not." -I forget where I read this
-“I’m so hungover right now.” april
-“huh?” danica
-“yeah” april
“But I did it in morse code!” -matt ward
“Yeah, it tastes like fruit snacks.” -Zac Kubilus
"That's the thing about inventive people.. you look at a Piccaso and say, "well, I've never seen anyone who looks like that." and they say, 'Hmm, really? Well I have.. you just aren't looking the right way.'" -John Arnn
"I’m such a hoe about it” -me
"To be alive is to be vulnerable." ~ Madeleine L'engle
"You're amazing Danica." -Sarah Snowbarger
“It’s ok. People have been looking at musicians funny for hundreds of years.” - John Arnn
“Things will get different.”
“let’s get ugly with this song.” -Sandra Dudley
“I’m not inot anyone flogging your brain.” -Henry Smiley
“Stop apologizing.” -Henry smiley
"I don't want to hear you calling home saying 'mom, i'm hearing something nasty in jazz vocal styles.'" -sandra dudley
-"Hey sexy." -truck full of Wal Mart Shoppers
-"Keep dreaming." -Danica
“We can’t see it all.” -Henry Smiley
"How many of you know? How many of you don't know? How many of you won't know if you know until I tell you?" -John Arnn
"You gotta love a term called 'soul gravy.'" -James Elliott
"Well I'm going to start with my old friend C major... you probably know him." -John Arnn
“I’m going to send a little memo to our friend Bob, reminding him that unless you’re at Luby’s, turnovers are a bad thing.” -Danica
-"Stupid fall of man." -Danica
-"and it was eve's fault...." -Josh
-"you would say that." -Danica
9.14.2005
Truly Great Artists Like Danica Mercer Still Have a Home at The Days In Between...
...Even if her mom stops by from time to time. Hi mom!
So there’s a chance I may get to go to the Coldplay concert for free this Sunday. Course, now I’ve probably jinxed myself, but oh well... at one time the possibility existed. But, suppose this does happen, then Sunday may go down in history as a very nice day in my life because Cameron is already coming to town Sunday afternoon. Yes that’s right, Cameron.. as in Crowe.. as in Cameron Crowe, as in Almost Famous, Say Anything, Vanilla Sky, Jerry Maguire. Cameron Crowe. Sigh. Cameron Crowe + Grimey’s + Danica = Good times.
Speaking of good times. Pretty sure DATA/The ONE Campaign has asked me to work the U2 show in Atlanta in November. Pretty sure I said yes. =) <---painfully happy face. Ladies and gents... this means that there is a possibility that Danica will see her 2 favorite bands for free within 2 months of each other. Yippee!
on a more serious note: Be keeping the World Summit in your prayers... they’re discussing/reviewing the Millennium Development Goals this Weekend. If you want to learn more about real-life examples of effective international assistance and the Millennium Development Goals, you can tune in to 'The Diary of Angelina Jolie and Dr. Jeffrey Sachs in Africa' this Friday on MTV at 8pm. (leave it to MTV to team Dr. Sachs with Angelina Jolie... ugh.. celebrity culture will be the death of me)
True to my word, here’s the info on the “Crisis Care Kits” (say that 3 times fast) Belmont Hunger and Homelessness is working with an organization called Heart to Heart International to collect care packages (Crisis Care Kits) for the hurricane victims on the gulf coast. You can bring a completed kit to any residence hall/ apartment clubhouse lobby, OR bring them to RUF on Wednesdays, and we’ll take it from there! For my global friends who don’t live here in NashVegas, you can mail a completed kit to my apartment (danicafaith@gmail.com for address) and i’ll make sure it gets to the right place. Below is information about what needs to be in the kits, and the cost is generally around $9. You can make one yourself, or round up some people to go to Wal-Mart and combine your cash. This is a great, practical way to help serve the people who have been affected by Hurricane Katrina.
Crisis Care Kit:
Place the following items in a 2-gallon zip-lock bag.
One medium-sized bottle of shampoo
Two full-size bars of soap
One medium-size toothpaste
Three tooth brushes
One box of bandaids
One fingernail clipper
One sturdy comb
Two hand towels (or wash cloths)
Two pocket-size packages of facial tissues
One Beanie-Baby sized stuffed toy
*****Important: Each Crisis Care Kit should contain only the items and quantities requested******
Film Alert: http://www.belcourt.org/detail.1.php?event_id=550 I know it’s no longer showing, and chances are that you won’t find it in theatres anywhere... but you should check out one of those hipster video stores in a couple of months and try and rent it.
Ok one last PSA: If you’re in town on Oct 8th (aka: OU/Texas), join us at the NashvilleCARES AIDS walk in Bicentennial Park. It’s muchos funos yo. (last year we were done long before the game was...) E-mail me and I’ll add you to Belmont’s “team.”
In other news, I bought pants. Without holes. And it only took me an hour and a half. Do we really need 20,000 styles of jeans? Seriously.
I also had 3 meals today. (see what skipping class does for your health?!) Sigh. I guess the days of coffee for breakfast, diet coke for lunch, and cloves on aprils roof for dinner are over. Not that they were ever intentional or anything.. but they worked well with the schedule of things. (kidding mom. kidding)
OH! I'm in the paper. Yay. So far I've been in every issue... haha all 2 of them. This is making it quite difficult to start working on the reVision.. which WILL happen... eventually. Anyhow, this time we have our own page, and it's a story over our trip to Asia. And almost all of my quotes are accurate. Woohoo. Pictures and everything. Check it out. http://www.belmontvision.com/features2.html The hard copy has more pics, but other than that, they are identicle... and at the very bottom of this page there is a short article on all the Fair Trade madness going on... busy times guys. Busy times.
And then there was school... yeah. I had every intention of going the whole week without skipping class, and I was almost there. I was so close. And I was so proud. But, as they say, pride goes before a fall, and today well... 1 out of 4 ain’t too bad. Sorta. I had my first test on wednesday: Improv. Theory & Analysis. I’m not sure how I feel about it... I’m hoping for a B but a C might be more realistic. But for 5 minutes of “studying” that’s not too bad. Tomorrow all shall be revealed. Can you feel the anticipation??? yeah, me neither. Good news on the school front: I’ve come up with a plan of inspiration for algebra. ya’ll ready for this? So my first test is a week from today. Now I need to do really well on this test because it will probably be the easiest test of the semester seeing as how it is supposedly all “review” (or so they say).. Anyhow, in a desperate plan to motivate myself to somehow learn 14 sections by thursday, I’ve decided that if I manage a C or higher on the test then I’m throwing a party. Dead serious. And if I get a golf score for a grade.. well.. then I’ll probably throw a fundraising event in hopes of raising another semester’s tuition.
Bah school. I’ve pretty much got a job and free housing just sitting there teasing me, waiting for May to come along. Less than 8 months..almost there... almost..
So that’s life this week. I did have my first H&H interest meeting on tuesday. I felt like that went well. I’ve been extremely blessed thus far to be working with people who have a genuine passion for all of this stuff, so much so that they are willing to actually get out there and work to make sure that things get done. And that is so cool on so many levels. 1. I remember finding quality people last year who knew my interests and got me connected with the right people and introduced me to all of the opportunities that are available to me both here at Belmont and here in Nashville, and now I feel like I am in the position to be that person to several eager students. 2. Too many people want to get involved, but never do. or worse, lots of people talk about wanting to do things, or they whine and complain about how things aren’t as they should be, but they never get outside themselves and do anything. In short: talk is cheap, and its so refreshing to see words put to work. To meet people who are more than empty words. 3. I’ve been praying about the future of H&H.. it probably sounds dumb to most of you, but sometimes I sit around a worry that things will just end once I’m gone. I know this sounds conceited, but I don’t mean it that way.. I’ve just been blessed to watch H&H grow and expand over the past 3 years, and I’ve watched as students have become more involved and walked away from service projects or convos or letter-writings with a new awareness, or a desire to do more.. and that’s so cool. And I hope that door always remains open to the students and faculty here. Belmont should be doing more for the community, more than just providing nashville with 4,000 extra consumers.
And I feel a soapbox coming on... so I’m going to stop there.
Till next time, Go do something.
And pray that something happens in me. Because my passive nature is making this school year very difficult.
“Rescue me from hanging on this line.
I won't give up on giving You
a chance to blow my mind.
Let the eleventh hour quickly pass me by.
I'll find You when I think I'm out of time.
Take the place of my heart
till I become a stranger to my life.
I've been down without You,
wrong without Your love.
In time will I be what You're thinking of?
I've been down without You,
Cold without Your love
In time will I be what you're thinking of?”
So there’s a chance I may get to go to the Coldplay concert for free this Sunday. Course, now I’ve probably jinxed myself, but oh well... at one time the possibility existed. But, suppose this does happen, then Sunday may go down in history as a very nice day in my life because Cameron is already coming to town Sunday afternoon. Yes that’s right, Cameron.. as in Crowe.. as in Cameron Crowe, as in Almost Famous, Say Anything, Vanilla Sky, Jerry Maguire. Cameron Crowe. Sigh. Cameron Crowe + Grimey’s + Danica = Good times.
Speaking of good times. Pretty sure DATA/The ONE Campaign has asked me to work the U2 show in Atlanta in November. Pretty sure I said yes. =) <---painfully happy face. Ladies and gents... this means that there is a possibility that Danica will see her 2 favorite bands for free within 2 months of each other. Yippee!
on a more serious note: Be keeping the World Summit in your prayers... they’re discussing/reviewing the Millennium Development Goals this Weekend. If you want to learn more about real-life examples of effective international assistance and the Millennium Development Goals, you can tune in to 'The Diary of Angelina Jolie and Dr. Jeffrey Sachs in Africa' this Friday on MTV at 8pm. (leave it to MTV to team Dr. Sachs with Angelina Jolie... ugh.. celebrity culture will be the death of me)
True to my word, here’s the info on the “Crisis Care Kits” (say that 3 times fast) Belmont Hunger and Homelessness is working with an organization called Heart to Heart International to collect care packages (Crisis Care Kits) for the hurricane victims on the gulf coast. You can bring a completed kit to any residence hall/ apartment clubhouse lobby, OR bring them to RUF on Wednesdays, and we’ll take it from there! For my global friends who don’t live here in NashVegas, you can mail a completed kit to my apartment (danicafaith@gmail.com for address) and i’ll make sure it gets to the right place. Below is information about what needs to be in the kits, and the cost is generally around $9. You can make one yourself, or round up some people to go to Wal-Mart and combine your cash. This is a great, practical way to help serve the people who have been affected by Hurricane Katrina.
Crisis Care Kit:
Place the following items in a 2-gallon zip-lock bag.
One medium-sized bottle of shampoo
Two full-size bars of soap
One medium-size toothpaste
Three tooth brushes
One box of bandaids
One fingernail clipper
One sturdy comb
Two hand towels (or wash cloths)
Two pocket-size packages of facial tissues
One Beanie-Baby sized stuffed toy
*****Important: Each Crisis Care Kit should contain only the items and quantities requested******
Film Alert: http://www.belcourt.org/detail.1.php?event_id=550 I know it’s no longer showing, and chances are that you won’t find it in theatres anywhere... but you should check out one of those hipster video stores in a couple of months and try and rent it.
Ok one last PSA: If you’re in town on Oct 8th (aka: OU/Texas), join us at the NashvilleCARES AIDS walk in Bicentennial Park. It’s muchos funos yo. (last year we were done long before the game was...) E-mail me and I’ll add you to Belmont’s “team.”
In other news, I bought pants. Without holes. And it only took me an hour and a half. Do we really need 20,000 styles of jeans? Seriously.
I also had 3 meals today. (see what skipping class does for your health?!) Sigh. I guess the days of coffee for breakfast, diet coke for lunch, and cloves on aprils roof for dinner are over. Not that they were ever intentional or anything.. but they worked well with the schedule of things. (kidding mom. kidding)
OH! I'm in the paper. Yay. So far I've been in every issue... haha all 2 of them. This is making it quite difficult to start working on the reVision.. which WILL happen... eventually. Anyhow, this time we have our own page, and it's a story over our trip to Asia. And almost all of my quotes are accurate. Woohoo. Pictures and everything. Check it out. http://www.belmontvision.com/features2.html The hard copy has more pics, but other than that, they are identicle... and at the very bottom of this page there is a short article on all the Fair Trade madness going on... busy times guys. Busy times.
And then there was school... yeah. I had every intention of going the whole week without skipping class, and I was almost there. I was so close. And I was so proud. But, as they say, pride goes before a fall, and today well... 1 out of 4 ain’t too bad. Sorta. I had my first test on wednesday: Improv. Theory & Analysis. I’m not sure how I feel about it... I’m hoping for a B but a C might be more realistic. But for 5 minutes of “studying” that’s not too bad. Tomorrow all shall be revealed. Can you feel the anticipation??? yeah, me neither. Good news on the school front: I’ve come up with a plan of inspiration for algebra. ya’ll ready for this? So my first test is a week from today. Now I need to do really well on this test because it will probably be the easiest test of the semester seeing as how it is supposedly all “review” (or so they say).. Anyhow, in a desperate plan to motivate myself to somehow learn 14 sections by thursday, I’ve decided that if I manage a C or higher on the test then I’m throwing a party. Dead serious. And if I get a golf score for a grade.. well.. then I’ll probably throw a fundraising event in hopes of raising another semester’s tuition.
Bah school. I’ve pretty much got a job and free housing just sitting there teasing me, waiting for May to come along. Less than 8 months..almost there... almost..
So that’s life this week. I did have my first H&H interest meeting on tuesday. I felt like that went well. I’ve been extremely blessed thus far to be working with people who have a genuine passion for all of this stuff, so much so that they are willing to actually get out there and work to make sure that things get done. And that is so cool on so many levels. 1. I remember finding quality people last year who knew my interests and got me connected with the right people and introduced me to all of the opportunities that are available to me both here at Belmont and here in Nashville, and now I feel like I am in the position to be that person to several eager students. 2. Too many people want to get involved, but never do. or worse, lots of people talk about wanting to do things, or they whine and complain about how things aren’t as they should be, but they never get outside themselves and do anything. In short: talk is cheap, and its so refreshing to see words put to work. To meet people who are more than empty words. 3. I’ve been praying about the future of H&H.. it probably sounds dumb to most of you, but sometimes I sit around a worry that things will just end once I’m gone. I know this sounds conceited, but I don’t mean it that way.. I’ve just been blessed to watch H&H grow and expand over the past 3 years, and I’ve watched as students have become more involved and walked away from service projects or convos or letter-writings with a new awareness, or a desire to do more.. and that’s so cool. And I hope that door always remains open to the students and faculty here. Belmont should be doing more for the community, more than just providing nashville with 4,000 extra consumers.
And I feel a soapbox coming on... so I’m going to stop there.
Till next time, Go do something.
And pray that something happens in me. Because my passive nature is making this school year very difficult.
“Rescue me from hanging on this line.
I won't give up on giving You
a chance to blow my mind.
Let the eleventh hour quickly pass me by.
I'll find You when I think I'm out of time.
Take the place of my heart
till I become a stranger to my life.
I've been down without You,
wrong without Your love.
In time will I be what You're thinking of?
I've been down without You,
Cold without Your love
In time will I be what you're thinking of?”
9.12.2005
So life...
...is pretty crappy right now. I won’t lie. But I’m trudging through. I came to the realization that if I can just make it through this semester, then I’m home free. This has made things quite a bit easier to bear. That and the fact that 8 months from tuesday I will be free from school until further notice. Wohoo. Woohoo. Whatever. We all know I’ll be all depressed about not being in school once it’s over.. or maybe not, who knows.
So I was yelling at God the other day, (which I’m sure sounded quite ridiculous to Him, like a squeaking ant or one of those gold medal gymnasts) and I remembered how at Point Loma we’d sit out on the cliffs and stare out at the ocean for hours. We’d talk about how the ocean was big enough to handle anything we could throw at it, and how it’s the same with God, how He can handle our heartache, our shortcomings, our disappointments, our anger, our fury and rage, our hurt.
I don’t know how smart it is to lash out at God. Sometimes I wonder if I have maggots growing in me already. I heard that happened to a king once... somewhere in the Old Testament I’m sure.. I really don’t see Jesus doing that sort of thing... course this guy claimed to be holy or something like that, so I guess he had it coming. But that’s how God dealt with it. Maggots. You gotta admit, he’s got style.
Anyhow, I digress... so... lashing out, yes.. I’m not sure how smart that is, but I do it. Poor God, gets left to bear the brunt of all my emotions. But I was thinking about it, and I realized how thankful I am for the psalms and the prophets, both of which have given me wonderful examples at how to deal with anger and God and all that jazz. So many cool people in the Bible really know how to get mad. Jesus knew how to get mad. But getting mad at God seems so... i dunno.. dark, scary, dangerous. And yet, He knows how to handle it. He takes it from me, and He shouldn’t, but He does. And in a weird way, that’s scary too.
My mom thinks I’m becoming a gnostic. This worries me. Not that I think I’m becoming a gnostic, I’m not. But just the fact that I worry people. That people are worried. I suppose I should feel blessed on some level, because people don’t worry unless they really care...but I feel bad putting people through all this regardless.
I’m in a weird place. Somehow I’ve managed to find myself in this scary spiritual battle thing . I can’t explain it. But it’s scary, and I don’t like it. And I don’t like how I feel like I’m becoming someone that I don’t know or understand. And I don’t like how I don’t care about it as much as I should. And I don’t like how I don’t feel like pursuing God, and how I feel like I couldn’t get anywhere even if I tried.
So I told God all of this. It was quite dramatic. Everything’s dramatic now. Just call me Susan Lucci. For real. And no, it’s not hormones, believe me, I wish I could blame it on that. Anyhow, there was yelling and crying and perhaps throwing some things, I don’t really remember. But I do remember apologizing a lot, knowing full well how hurtful I was being, knowing that it must have extremely painful for God to have to listen to me, His child (whom He’s sacrificed everything for) scream at Him and tell Him that I was through pursuing Him, that I just couldn’t do it anymore.
So I finished with this foreboding statement, and I kid you not, the minute I finished it was like God said ‘It’s ok, because I’m pursuing you, and I’m not stopping.’ (No it wasn’t an actual voice in the room or anything like that, but you know what I mean... it was as if I heard it, as though I felt it in me and knew it to be true.)
I will say, it was kinda annoying on one level, because while it was exactly what I needed to hear at the moment it was also one of those “Oh, he’s not going to leave me alone... I’m not getting off this easy.” statements. But thank goodness He doesn’t let go that easily. And honestly, this felt like the exhale that I have needed for a while.
Not to say that everything is yippy skippy great right now or anything, but just knowing that God is waiting this out with me, that He knows what “this” is... that’s comforting. Especially because I sure as hell have no idea what’s going on with me right now, and it’s frustrating. Meanwhile I’m having to make all these important decisions soon, as the post-graduation offers continue to creep in, and I question my ability to make a good decision right now. I’ve become rather skilled at making poor choices lately, not intentionally or anything... my awkwardness just gets the best of me sometimes.
So yeah. How’s that for an update?
Someone told me today that I was a strong person. This suprised me and honestly, kinda bothered me. I just sat there and laughed inside my head, thinking ‘If they only knew.’ So this post goes out to them. Now you know.
No one is free from struggle.
Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. =)
I love you guys.
You're all tangible examples to me of how I am so very blessed.
peace, love, and adversity....
~me
So I was yelling at God the other day, (which I’m sure sounded quite ridiculous to Him, like a squeaking ant or one of those gold medal gymnasts) and I remembered how at Point Loma we’d sit out on the cliffs and stare out at the ocean for hours. We’d talk about how the ocean was big enough to handle anything we could throw at it, and how it’s the same with God, how He can handle our heartache, our shortcomings, our disappointments, our anger, our fury and rage, our hurt.
I don’t know how smart it is to lash out at God. Sometimes I wonder if I have maggots growing in me already. I heard that happened to a king once... somewhere in the Old Testament I’m sure.. I really don’t see Jesus doing that sort of thing... course this guy claimed to be holy or something like that, so I guess he had it coming. But that’s how God dealt with it. Maggots. You gotta admit, he’s got style.
Anyhow, I digress... so... lashing out, yes.. I’m not sure how smart that is, but I do it. Poor God, gets left to bear the brunt of all my emotions. But I was thinking about it, and I realized how thankful I am for the psalms and the prophets, both of which have given me wonderful examples at how to deal with anger and God and all that jazz. So many cool people in the Bible really know how to get mad. Jesus knew how to get mad. But getting mad at God seems so... i dunno.. dark, scary, dangerous. And yet, He knows how to handle it. He takes it from me, and He shouldn’t, but He does. And in a weird way, that’s scary too.
My mom thinks I’m becoming a gnostic. This worries me. Not that I think I’m becoming a gnostic, I’m not. But just the fact that I worry people. That people are worried. I suppose I should feel blessed on some level, because people don’t worry unless they really care...but I feel bad putting people through all this regardless.
I’m in a weird place. Somehow I’ve managed to find myself in this scary spiritual battle thing . I can’t explain it. But it’s scary, and I don’t like it. And I don’t like how I feel like I’m becoming someone that I don’t know or understand. And I don’t like how I don’t care about it as much as I should. And I don’t like how I don’t feel like pursuing God, and how I feel like I couldn’t get anywhere even if I tried.
So I told God all of this. It was quite dramatic. Everything’s dramatic now. Just call me Susan Lucci. For real. And no, it’s not hormones, believe me, I wish I could blame it on that. Anyhow, there was yelling and crying and perhaps throwing some things, I don’t really remember. But I do remember apologizing a lot, knowing full well how hurtful I was being, knowing that it must have extremely painful for God to have to listen to me, His child (whom He’s sacrificed everything for) scream at Him and tell Him that I was through pursuing Him, that I just couldn’t do it anymore.
So I finished with this foreboding statement, and I kid you not, the minute I finished it was like God said ‘It’s ok, because I’m pursuing you, and I’m not stopping.’ (No it wasn’t an actual voice in the room or anything like that, but you know what I mean... it was as if I heard it, as though I felt it in me and knew it to be true.)
I will say, it was kinda annoying on one level, because while it was exactly what I needed to hear at the moment it was also one of those “Oh, he’s not going to leave me alone... I’m not getting off this easy.” statements. But thank goodness He doesn’t let go that easily. And honestly, this felt like the exhale that I have needed for a while.
Not to say that everything is yippy skippy great right now or anything, but just knowing that God is waiting this out with me, that He knows what “this” is... that’s comforting. Especially because I sure as hell have no idea what’s going on with me right now, and it’s frustrating. Meanwhile I’m having to make all these important decisions soon, as the post-graduation offers continue to creep in, and I question my ability to make a good decision right now. I’ve become rather skilled at making poor choices lately, not intentionally or anything... my awkwardness just gets the best of me sometimes.
So yeah. How’s that for an update?
Someone told me today that I was a strong person. This suprised me and honestly, kinda bothered me. I just sat there and laughed inside my head, thinking ‘If they only knew.’ So this post goes out to them. Now you know.
No one is free from struggle.
Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. =)
I love you guys.
You're all tangible examples to me of how I am so very blessed.
peace, love, and adversity....
~me
9.10.2005
2 words:
Boomer Sooner.
Course.. winning against an unranked team and having only 41 passing yards and 2 turnovers is nothing to throw a party over...
But I'll take what I can get.
Thank you Lord for ESPN gamecast.
Course.. winning against an unranked team and having only 41 passing yards and 2 turnovers is nothing to throw a party over...
But I'll take what I can get.
Thank you Lord for ESPN gamecast.
Words of the week:
I almost forgot! The week is over.. thus, it is time for (drumroll please) the "Words of the Week" (aka: WOW's) The things people say.... goodness..
"If there's a fire in the building, get out." -Joel
'We all have different paths in life, and some lead us to the hot dog festival." -James Elliott
"Now I know you are all 'creative' people, but algebra has been around for 400 years, this is not the time to be creative." - Jim Cook
"Algebra is the original equal opportunity employer." -Jim Cook
"Nothing like hot gin in the morning." -James Elliott
"Girl, you have no booty." -Jes Richey
"That's a nice term, because you don't hear it everyday, so you can use it in a derrogatory fashion." -John Arnn
"You might think that these terms and this knowledge is useless, but really they provide the perfect way to get rid of people. Seriously, just throw it out in conversation sometime and see what happens." -John Arnn
"I have a house for you." -Todd Lake
"I like writing 'gangsta.' I'm all about the 'gangsta.' Yo, what up G???" -James Elliott
"Lookit! I'm writing fast and hilarious!" -James Elliott
"GUAVA!" -James Elliott
"If there's a fire in the building, get out." -Joel
'We all have different paths in life, and some lead us to the hot dog festival." -James Elliott
"Now I know you are all 'creative' people, but algebra has been around for 400 years, this is not the time to be creative." - Jim Cook
"Algebra is the original equal opportunity employer." -Jim Cook
"Nothing like hot gin in the morning." -James Elliott
"Girl, you have no booty." -Jes Richey
"That's a nice term, because you don't hear it everyday, so you can use it in a derrogatory fashion." -John Arnn
"You might think that these terms and this knowledge is useless, but really they provide the perfect way to get rid of people. Seriously, just throw it out in conversation sometime and see what happens." -John Arnn
"I have a house for you." -Todd Lake
"I like writing 'gangsta.' I'm all about the 'gangsta.' Yo, what up G???" -James Elliott
"Lookit! I'm writing fast and hilarious!" -James Elliott
"GUAVA!" -James Elliott
9.09.2005
If the walls in the room could talk...
It's been awhile.
Things have been a a bit on the busy side, but no, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Though I must admit that lately that sounds like a fabulous idea.
Between RAing, H&H, Senior Class Focus Group, relentless meetings and e-mails, and that whole "class" thing, school has definitely started. I've decided I'm spending way too much money to be this busy.
School blows. To be blunt. I pretty much have a breakdown everyday. No joke. I save the tears for Tuesdays and Thursdays though, which are not only my longest days, but also the days of algebra. Oh, I'm sure some of you find this extremely humorous, (cough, josh, cough) but seriously.... You have no idea. I've yet to make it through class without crying. I never know what the hell the prof. is talking about. It's quite disturbing. And I know I'm not stupid, but this class definitely waters the seeds of doubt. Two things I've gained thus far: 1) "D" is for diploma, and 2) I really don't care about much beyond that.
Oh and "radicand" is not a made-up word, in case you were wondering.
Now I remember why I pursued music. Sheesh.
Let's see, what else...
Oh! I've developed a new hobby! It's called, "Ditch class, get in your car, and see what happens!" It's quite fun, and I highly recommend it to all of you. But beware, if you are anything like me, 11 hours later you might find yourself in OK, and with gas prices as they are this could be a dangerous thing. However, should you decide to take the plunge, do it the adventurous way: leave your cell phone behind and don't tell anyone what you're up to. Just go. Trust me, good times. Besides, if you go 90 long enough, you can make the trip in under 10 hours. Impressive.
So that about sums up last weekend. It was so nice to be home:
to see my cats:
to hear of more engagements:
to be continually questioned regarding my post-graduation plans and my eating habits (yes. she eats. good grief.)
No, but really... it was a nice getaway to be able to chill with the parents, have coffee with dad, shop with mom, spend an afternoon with aunt marla, to have brunch at Gaillardia with the grandparents after church (granddad looks good) and to "party" with Julie, Anita and Anne of Green Gables. Yay salt & vinegar chips! I'm so spoiled.
Anyways...
Did you hear about the plane crash in Indonesia? In Sumatra. In Medan. Tragic. I flew through that airport. I spent time in that city. I've seen the villages. I'm drinking tea from the region as I sit here and type. Poor Sumatra.. consistently plagued with grief and death. Pray for the people. It's an interesting place, but God is relevant there. God is doing some amazing things.
So Katrina... tough stuff. Course, everyone has an opinion on that situation, so I won't bother adding mine. I'll just say that if people spent 1/2 as much time working toward fixing things as they do griping and debating about how everything went wrong, we'd be further on our way toward progress. H&H is collecting Crisis Care Kits, and we're trying to work out volunteer times with the Red Cross as the Nashville area missions are going to be housing several thousand refugees over the coming months. I'll post details on all of this later.
Belmont is stepping up and taking in students from universities across the gulf coast, which means that Danica has been moving in lots of new students. Who knows, I might get a roommate afterall, and I'm thinking this would not be a bad thing seeing as how my apartment is incredibly lonley. I wake up: empty. I leave: empty. I come home: empty. I go to bed: empty. And unless I'm making noise, it's pretty dang quiet. Don't get me wrong, it has its perks, but after a year and a half of this I'm ready to graduate just so I can live with people.
So that's life I guess. Mundane but busy nonetheless.
To tell you the truth, I have to pray everyday that I won't just give up on things completely, because honestly, I really don't care about much of anything at the moment.. and I'm growing tired of feigning interest and attentiveness all the time. I guess it's senioritis...but I dunno. I keep thinking in terms of graduation, and yet I don't see how that event will improve things.. it will just make me free to run away and start over somewhere else, and I know I can't do that. Life has a way of following you wherever you go.
Besides, how do you escape the human condition? I think I'm just stuck in that place where I'm sick of humanity, of skin, of "human-ness." I look around at things, at hurricanes, at tsunamis, at plane wrecks, at car accidents, at the thousands of children dying today from diarreah, at sadness, at loneliness, at pain, at death and I can't help but ask, "What is the point?" Seriously. It seems like there is so much collateral damage walking around in the form of everyday people. I can't explain it.. but I feel it, and it makes me think of God as a "user." And in my heart I know this is absurd, but my head has taken the rest of me hostage, and I find myself angry at God for even creating humans in the first place.
Yeah yeah, I know....
"Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say, 'He has no hands'? Woe to him who says to his father, 'What have you begotten?' or to his mother, 'What have you brought to birth?'" Isaiah 45:9-10
Spare me the sermon, it isn't lack of knowledge that's keeping me here.
I dunno guys. I've been here before, I'll be here again. It's a phase. Things will change... it's just that life caught me at a vulnerable time this time around, and it's taking all I have just to pray about it and wait for God to do something.
And I'm so impatient.
It's terrible.
Meanwhile, I'm meeting all these new people who probably think I'm a huge bitch, which is a tragedy because typically I'm not..I'm just stuck in something that I have no control over. And how do you explain that to a handful of people that you barely know?
I don't even understand it myself.
Things have been a a bit on the busy side, but no, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Though I must admit that lately that sounds like a fabulous idea.
Between RAing, H&H, Senior Class Focus Group, relentless meetings and e-mails, and that whole "class" thing, school has definitely started. I've decided I'm spending way too much money to be this busy.
School blows. To be blunt. I pretty much have a breakdown everyday. No joke. I save the tears for Tuesdays and Thursdays though, which are not only my longest days, but also the days of algebra. Oh, I'm sure some of you find this extremely humorous, (cough, josh, cough) but seriously.... You have no idea. I've yet to make it through class without crying. I never know what the hell the prof. is talking about. It's quite disturbing. And I know I'm not stupid, but this class definitely waters the seeds of doubt. Two things I've gained thus far: 1) "D" is for diploma, and 2) I really don't care about much beyond that.
Oh and "radicand" is not a made-up word, in case you were wondering.
Now I remember why I pursued music. Sheesh.
Let's see, what else...
Oh! I've developed a new hobby! It's called, "Ditch class, get in your car, and see what happens!" It's quite fun, and I highly recommend it to all of you. But beware, if you are anything like me, 11 hours later you might find yourself in OK, and with gas prices as they are this could be a dangerous thing. However, should you decide to take the plunge, do it the adventurous way: leave your cell phone behind and don't tell anyone what you're up to. Just go. Trust me, good times. Besides, if you go 90 long enough, you can make the trip in under 10 hours. Impressive.
So that about sums up last weekend. It was so nice to be home:
to see my cats:
to hear of more engagements:
to be continually questioned regarding my post-graduation plans and my eating habits (yes. she eats. good grief.)
No, but really... it was a nice getaway to be able to chill with the parents, have coffee with dad, shop with mom, spend an afternoon with aunt marla, to have brunch at Gaillardia with the grandparents after church (granddad looks good) and to "party" with Julie, Anita and Anne of Green Gables. Yay salt & vinegar chips! I'm so spoiled.
Anyways...
Did you hear about the plane crash in Indonesia? In Sumatra. In Medan. Tragic. I flew through that airport. I spent time in that city. I've seen the villages. I'm drinking tea from the region as I sit here and type. Poor Sumatra.. consistently plagued with grief and death. Pray for the people. It's an interesting place, but God is relevant there. God is doing some amazing things.
So Katrina... tough stuff. Course, everyone has an opinion on that situation, so I won't bother adding mine. I'll just say that if people spent 1/2 as much time working toward fixing things as they do griping and debating about how everything went wrong, we'd be further on our way toward progress. H&H is collecting Crisis Care Kits, and we're trying to work out volunteer times with the Red Cross as the Nashville area missions are going to be housing several thousand refugees over the coming months. I'll post details on all of this later.
Belmont is stepping up and taking in students from universities across the gulf coast, which means that Danica has been moving in lots of new students. Who knows, I might get a roommate afterall, and I'm thinking this would not be a bad thing seeing as how my apartment is incredibly lonley. I wake up: empty. I leave: empty. I come home: empty. I go to bed: empty. And unless I'm making noise, it's pretty dang quiet. Don't get me wrong, it has its perks, but after a year and a half of this I'm ready to graduate just so I can live with people.
So that's life I guess. Mundane but busy nonetheless.
To tell you the truth, I have to pray everyday that I won't just give up on things completely, because honestly, I really don't care about much of anything at the moment.. and I'm growing tired of feigning interest and attentiveness all the time. I guess it's senioritis...but I dunno. I keep thinking in terms of graduation, and yet I don't see how that event will improve things.. it will just make me free to run away and start over somewhere else, and I know I can't do that. Life has a way of following you wherever you go.
Besides, how do you escape the human condition? I think I'm just stuck in that place where I'm sick of humanity, of skin, of "human-ness." I look around at things, at hurricanes, at tsunamis, at plane wrecks, at car accidents, at the thousands of children dying today from diarreah, at sadness, at loneliness, at pain, at death and I can't help but ask, "What is the point?" Seriously. It seems like there is so much collateral damage walking around in the form of everyday people. I can't explain it.. but I feel it, and it makes me think of God as a "user." And in my heart I know this is absurd, but my head has taken the rest of me hostage, and I find myself angry at God for even creating humans in the first place.
Yeah yeah, I know....
"Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' Does your work say, 'He has no hands'? Woe to him who says to his father, 'What have you begotten?' or to his mother, 'What have you brought to birth?'" Isaiah 45:9-10
Spare me the sermon, it isn't lack of knowledge that's keeping me here.
I dunno guys. I've been here before, I'll be here again. It's a phase. Things will change... it's just that life caught me at a vulnerable time this time around, and it's taking all I have just to pray about it and wait for God to do something.
And I'm so impatient.
It's terrible.
Meanwhile, I'm meeting all these new people who probably think I'm a huge bitch, which is a tragedy because typically I'm not..I'm just stuck in something that I have no control over. And how do you explain that to a handful of people that you barely know?
I don't even understand it myself.
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