3-2-1

I don't really believe in "resolutions." Goals seem to strike me as accidents waiting to happen.. but regardless here are my plans/hopes for this year.

1. To have a kick-ass, totally awesome recital.
2. To be a good roommate.
3. write write write
4. More studio time
5. Pay off my credit card.
6. To get over it and succomb to the evils of the cellular world.
7. To stop making ridiculous lists.
8. Cut back on the materialism.

Alright... I could waste lots of time trying to come up with all those character developing goals, but that's a daily thing... so... yeah more of that I guess.

So this is it. My last post of the year. It's been a good one, lots of travel, lots of people, lots of "gatherings," 3&4 and then some.

In conclusion: I know this year has been difficult for many of you. Hang in there. As I say, "things will get different." I'll let Anne Lamott take us into the New Year... perhaps this will resonate with some of you too...

"Broken things have been on my mind lately because so much has broken in my life this year and in the lives of the people I love- hearts, health, confidence...Besides the big brokennesses, I've noticed all sorts of really dumb things breaking lately, too: computers, cars, bank accounts, jobs...etc. So I've been on the lookout for something wonderful to happen because... a man who worked for the Dalai Lama once said that they believe when a lot of things start going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born- and that this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible. I believe this to be true. And I esspecially believe it when other people's things are breaking down..."

Here's to a year full of perfect births of big and lovely things. =)

ps. miss you.

Grace.

Grace: "...the force that infuses our lives together and keeps letting us off the hook. It is unearned love- the love that goes before, that greets us on the way. it's the help you receive when you have no bright ideas left, when you are empty and desperate and have discovered that your best thinking and most charming charm have failed you. Grace is the light or electricity or juice or breeze that takes you from that isolated place and puts you with others who are as startled and embarrassed and eventually grateful as you are to be there." -Anne Lamott

A few weeks back I had a discussion with a friend about grace. Actually, looking back, it was more of a sermon, but nevertheless, it was a brief conversation you might say. We both agreed that grace is a key component to the gospel, even more so than justice, but we appeared to have different viewpoints when it came to how grace is extended.

Now I should take a moment to mention that we both recognized the importance of extending grace no matter what the circumstance, but exactly what that means, how it is displayed, how it is extended... well I find that to be a situational issue.

Call me crazy, but I've yet to find a formula for these sorts of things.

They say that a key component to loving other people is learning how to forgive them, learning how to turn the other cheek.. so I got to thinking about this, and I ran across another line from Anne Lamott that commented on how turning the other cheek makes you look in a whole new direction. Which is so true! And suddenly it hit me how turning the other cheek is a way of extending grace, and in return it is grace to you, because it puts an entire new path before you, a new line of sight.

Some people go around acting as though you have to be best freinds with your daughters rapist to truly extend grace. Yes you have to love them, yes you have to forgive them, but forgiving someone, praying for their health, happiness, success and well-being, defending your enemies behind their backs.... I think this is grace. And it's not easy. Frankly, presenting a dishonest facade of friendship would probably be a hell of a lot easier. This is not to say that those who have become best friends with the man who raped their daughter are crazy... that's grace too, extreme grace, grace that takes a long time, grace that probably grew out of many nights of wrestling with God...

Grace itself should never be situational... but learning the "how-to's" of grace takes a lifetime. I dunno... don't take my word for it... just pray and don't give up. Honestly, I think grace is above and beyond any of us really. That is to say, that we're incapable of doing any good on our own.

Austintatious

No longer a cheesecake factory virgin, our lovely maiden has ventured through 6th street on a friday night, feasted at the Hula Hut and Shady Grove, walked in enemy territory adorned in OU pride, browsed through flipnotics, enjoyed Mozart's, wandered UT's campus, attended a killer "Wizard People, Dear Reader" party at the lovely home of Kristin Armstong, watched OU win (despite a really really bad pass intereference call), slept in till 10:30 everyday, seen many a Simpsons Episode, partook in the wonder that is DVR, spent some time at the local target, best buy, and guitar center,"rode" the cows, and then tonight awaits the New Years Eve Partay.

Good times.

Course, breaking down 3 times on the way here and having to be towed to a Pep Boys at 4pm in Ft. Worth and then having to wait 3 1/2 hours for them to fix the car... that was also an experience.

Don't worry.. pictures are coming....

room enough.

"In each heart lies a Bethlehem, an inn where we must ultimately answer whether there is room or not."

(Ann Weems)

Merry Christmas

In preparation for today's post I took a moment to read through my entries from Christmases past. At first I wasn't sure whether or not I had anything of value to say, or whether any current thoughts could hold a candle to my posts from previous years; then I woke up and realized that it really doesn't matter either way... so with that said I'll start by saying: Merry Christmas.

They say that anticipation is half the fun of this joyous season, and I suppose this is true. When I think about anticipation (in regards to Christmas) I start to think about advent. I'll be honest and say that advent never really meant much to me growing up. It always struck me as one of those things your church did to remind you that Thanksgiving was over and Christmas was next. Then, as I grew, advent began to take on a new meaning, as a "season of waiting." But in recent years I have found that my take on advent has changed yet again, to the slightly different, yet hopefully more proper interpretation of "a time of expectation."

Through my short life I have waited for various things for various amounts of time. Some of them were worth it, others were not, but one thing they all had in common was the season of anxiousness, the season of impatience that served as the dawn to their arrival. I used to consider those times as "seasons of advent" in my life... however, looking back they appear to have been nothing more than moments of naive impatience.

For some reason advent means something to me this year, it really resonates with me. More than usual. More than ever. For the first time ever I feel as though my life is in a true season of advent... a season of waiting and hoping. A season of expectation. A season of peace and joy. A season of faith. It's as though I know it's coming, and I don't know what "it" is. I'm in no hurry and I feel no need to manipulate or rush life along because somewhere deep within me I know that the story has already been told, and there's no way I could ever pen a better one, so I feel it's best to enjoy the ride as things unfold.

And so I wait.

And hope.

And believe.

And I think on all I have to be thankful for, and all the times that God has proven himself faithful to me. Through the best and the worst of this year God has been faithful, even at times when faithfullness has been something that I haven't believed in. I think on the ways He has filled my heart, and how he never ceases to show me how narrowminded I am when it comes to His plan and His best and my life. Trust me: Ditch the mud pies, the holiday at sea is much better!!

This Christmas I think about advent, both mine and the traditional advent of Christmas, and I get excited. I look forward to the treasured time with family and friends, the time-honored traditions, the gifts and the good food... but I also look forward to God showing me more of himself, and to the peace, grace, forgiveness and love that he brings.

May your holiday be filled with joyous expectation.

Merry Christmas.

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." Habakkuk 2:3

D is for DANICA DID IT!

She DIDN'T fail.

She DIDN'T even get a D!!!

Yes ladies and gents, that is correct. I did it. I passed Algebra. There is a good in this world, and today it is my C in algebra.

You have no idea how relieved I am that this semester is now officially OVER!! Words just can't express it... happy, delighted, ecstatic, elated, excited, fulfilled, gladdened, gratified, joyous, jubilant, overjoyed, pleased, thrilled... adjectives are beginning to fail me, but you get my point!

I'll have my 2005 State of the union address out sometime within the next 3 weeks... but for now I plan to revel. Yes, revel, in the fact that this semester is done, over, fine, fin, finished, dead, gone..etc.

As for the rest of my grades, I got more A's than anything else, and an A in commercial voice, so beyond that (and the passing math thing..) I really don't care about much else. Considering all the class I missed and how detatched I've been from pretty much everything, I gotta say, I don't think I did half bad.

2006 let's go.

"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart."

Happy Holidays.

May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand. May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism. Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone. May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace.

Teach love to those who hate, and let that love embrace you as you go out into the world. May the teachings of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call upon them. Remember, those whose lives you have touched and whose have touched yours are always a part of you, even if the encounters were less than you would have wished. It is the content of the encounter that is more important than the form.

May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart and the hearts of others. Find time each day to see beauty in the world. Realize that each person has limitless abilities, but each of us is different in our own way. What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future. May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility. Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience. May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on another's judgment of your accomplishments. May you always feel loved.

-Author Unkown.

Pics...

Charissa, Me, and Harry Potter love.


The Girls...



Kelsey & Me, Pre-Road Trip


Ready to go...


Drivin...


This doesn't feel right.


Joel Means Business


Joel


Mom... stylin.


Don't mess with this...


Ummm...


Me & Jules


Movies. Ah.


La dee da...

.

Below are a few paragraphs taken from an amazing NYTimes article over the tsunami and its effects on Banda Aceh.

If you have time you should read the whole thing... perhaps in segments as it has 4 parts and is very long.

I can't even beign to describe to you what it is like to have a connection with this place, with these people. I can attest that author has done a phenomenal job in capturing the spirit of the Acehnese and the various cultural barriers that have affected the relief efforts.

One wouldn't expect my heart to ache for a place where I was so severly ill... but I see the faces of the people, I hear the laughs of the children, and I feel the prayers of the saints there and I hope that maybe one day I will return again.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/27/magazine/27tsunami1.html?pagewanted=1


"For the earth, it was just a twinge. Last Dec. 26, at 7:59 a.m., one part of the planet's undersea crust made an abrupt shift beneath another along a 750-mile seam near the island of Sumatra. The tectonic plates had been grating against each other for millenniums, and now the higher of the two was lifted perhaps 60 feet. For a planet where landmasses are in constant motion across geological time, the event was of no great moment. But for people - who mark the calendar in days and months rather than eons - a monumental catastrophe had begun, not only the largest earthquake in 40 years but also the displacement of billions of tons of water, unleashing a series of mammoth waves: a tsunami. These surging mounds of water raced toward land with the speed of a jet aircraft and then slowed as they reared up to leap ashore at heights of 50 feet and higher. They were long as well as tall, stampeding inland and carrying with them all they were destroying. People caught in the waves became small ingredients in an enormous blender, bludgeoned by concrete slabs and felled trees, stabbed by jagged sheets of glass, tangled up in manacles of wire.

"The number of the dead and missing is now estimated at 232,000. And while this includes victims from a dozen nations, more than two-thirds - some 169,000 - came from a single place, the Indonesian province of Aceh. And of Aceh's mortal toll, more than half - some 90,000 - came from a single city, Banda Aceh, and its immediate surroundings. This provincial capital was a place of large government buildings, two major universities, a historic mosque, stores and restaurants, a harbor and a fishing fleet. It sits in the northwest nub of Sumatra, where converging sea lanes from the Malay Peninsula, India and Arabia once sustained a flourishing trade in aromatic spices. The location, for centuries so favorable, was a mere 155 miles from the earthquake's epicenter. Banda Aceh was swamped by the tsunami within 30 minutes of the tremor.

"The devastation left its own peculiar boundaries. Roughly a third of the city - the two miles nearest the Indian Ocean - was flattened and denuded, with only an occasional tree or shank of cement escaping the sledgehammer strength of the waves. A mile or so farther inland, the destruction was more erratic, its effects less a consequence of battering than of flooding. The rest of the city entirely evaded the water's horrific reach; hours went by before some of its residents even knew the day was anything other than sunny and serene...

Centuries ago, as the Acehnese were sending black pepper and camphor to the West, foreign traders introduced them to Islam. Banda Aceh is a Muslim city, and these six survivors credit their endurance to the supreme will of Allah. He alone holds mastery over life and death, they say. And yet inevitably, survivors cannot help wondering how God's hand might have directed events differently. They revisit their memories of that morning, how violently the ground shook, how mercilessly the sea invaded, how densely tragedy contaminated the city. The suddenness still astonishes them.

"After all, it had begun as such an ordinary Sunday...

"The world had seen the onrushing wave on the news, and people could imagine it, all those tons of mesmerizing water, getting closer and rising higher. Most of the early video had been from the vacation spots of Thailand. The tourists had camcorders; they spoke in English. In those first days, less was mentioned about Aceh. For years, most foreigners had been forbidden to enter the province as the government in Jakarta and the rebels of GAM pursued their low-boil war. The tsunami opened that bolted door. Within the week, aid workers from abroad began arriving by the hundreds to assist Indonesian emergency teams; foreign militaries were permitted to airlift supplies. Within months, more than 120 foreign NGO's would set up operations. For most of them, money was no object. Generosity toward the tsunami victims was unprecedented, "breaking all records for voluntary giving," according to the World Bank. Some $5.5 billion flowed into the Red Cross and Red Crescent federation, Oxfam, World Vision, CARE and other charities. Governments added more. In total, about $13.6 billion was pledged toward the recovery in grants and loans, with about half going to Indonesia.

"In Banda Aceh, the infusion of foreigners, while decidedly peculiar, was certainly welcome. The general hospital had become a mud-caked ghost town. During that first week, only 5 employees from a staff of 956 showed up to work; 11 doctors and 88 nurses had been killed. But soon thereafter, the Indonesian Army and assorted volunteers started cleaning things up, sometimes with machinery but more often with push brooms and bare hands. Field hospitals were erected on the grounds by Germany and Australia. Physicians from other parts of Indonesia resurrected the emergency room.

"Acute hunger was avoided, as was any major outbreak of disease. The world's emergency response was a triumph of humanitarian action. If anything, there was a redundancy of effort. "A scramble for beneficiaries began" among the aid groups, said the World Disasters Report of the Red Cross and Red Crescent, issued in October. The "humanitarian space" was too small for so many organizations. They had "too much money," and as they competed for victims to help, they "jealously guarded their information to ensure their niche." These difficulties would presage the problems to come in the reconstruction. Important choices would need to be made. Was Aceh to be rebuilt into what it was before? Was it to be better? With money spread among so many hands, who would do what parts of the crucial work? Surely the communities themselves had to be involved. But local government had been crippled. The aid groups, while well intentioned, were outsiders, each with its own board and set of donors. Could they cooperate with one another?

"The tsunami had flattened the coast in a matter of minutes. The recovery, on the other hand, would take years. In the meantime, people were living wretchedly in tents and slapdash barracks or crowded in with relatives. Nearly a year after the tsunami, an overwhelming majority of victims would still be without permanent homes.

"Today, vast areas of Banda Aceh remain empty except for a scattering of tents and cobbled-together shacks. It is the same with the people: vast holes in their families and cobbled-together hearts. And yet a normalcy of sorts has re-established itself. People make do. They carry on. The city's new economy revolves around the incipient reconstruction. Roads have been cleared, some hospitals repaired, many schools reopened. The aid agencies are present in full force. Overpriced hotels are regularly overbooked. The best homes have been converted into headquarters and guest houses. Restaurants have changed their menus, tempting foreigners with items like "French union soup."

"What 550,000 homeless Acehnese want most of all are homes, and far too few have been erected. People are not so much angry as frustrated and perplexed. Time and again, aid groups arrived in a community and made promises. Meetings were held. Surveys were done. Then the foreigners disappeared, only to be replaced by yet others with new sets of promises. Now the rainy season is here, and year-old tents are proving porous. Some aid agencies are back on emergency footing, rushing to accomplish what might have been done six months ago, putting up prefabs until permanent housing can be built.Early on, the government of Indonesia realized the need for an agency to oversee the reconstruction without the customary corruption, using transparent procedures that would satisfy international donors. But the Badan Rehabilitasi dan Rekonstruksi did not come into being until the end of April. In the meantime, aid groups were reluctant to build houses that might later be deemed too big or too small or too near the sea. Then there was the confounding matter of property rights. Many existing land records were destroyed; in many cases, deeds had never been issued. Generally, people want to return to where they lived before, so property lines must be pieced together from the shared memories of neighbors. While this would be hard under any circumstances, it is especially daunting with so many landmarks gone and so much of the land itself washed away.

"The reconstruction agency is still busy inventing itself, adding staff, setting standards, approving projects. There is a shortage of qualified contractors and legal timber. But however justifiable the delays, the process seems maddeningly slow..."

Why then, oh why can't I?

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

Better late than never...

I read through last years list and it made me smile, so in the spirit of happiness and thanksgiving and all that stuff, for better or for worse, here's what I'm thankful for this year:

1. That God protects me even when it hurts.

2. For Josh, for being a brother that I can love, admire, and trust no matter what. I love you.

3. For mom who continues to let me call and cry on the phone pretty much every time we talk, without complaining about it.

4. For dad and his hugs.

5. For my cat.. 16 years and still going strong.

6. For the rest of my amazing family. I am so blessed.

7. That I don't have it all figured out.

8. For my friends for loving me when I'm being unlovable, and for refusing to let me run away. I owe you guys, and you have no idea how much I love you.

9. For Wendy Twit.

10. For having a great semester of voice lessons.

11. 2 words: Family Dinners.

12. Two more words: Dance Parties.

13. For Marion and her mad skills.

14. For my wicked awesome H&H committee.

15. For the ever growing campus interest in social justice.

16. For RUF.

17. For Charissa our splendiferous RUF intern.

18. For grace... and Redundant Grace.

19. For Todd Lake, Andy Watts, Andi Stepanick, Dr. McEntire, and several other belmont faculty and staff that have not only made my life easier, but have continued to inspire and encourage me through everything.

20. For Tarrah Macbeth, for being a great "boss" and a great friend... and for staying with me in my apartment for 3 days straight when I came home sick from Asia.

21. For my Asia teammates. Terimakasi.

22. For my Live8/G8 experience.

23. For all the free concerts. Live8, Coldplay, U2... Good times.

24. For free housing.

25. For HP and all it's magical goodnes. haha

26. For roadtrips with friends.

27. For Jesus for being beautiful, loyal, and true.

and last but not least...

28. For dark chocolate.

On your knees, boy.

To touch is to heal.
To hurt is to steal.
If you want to kiss the sky,
Better learn how to kneel.

“Stay when you want most to go.”

“The initail feel of faith is always death, while the initial feel of sin is life and freedom.” -Jack Miller

I haven’t said it in a while, but I still can’t escape the fact that RUF is quite awesome.



But the question remains... which is my Egypt?

...I could be anything, anything but sticking around...

(no words)

Pretty sure I just spent 3 hours with Bono less than 50 feet away from my face.

Pretty sure it was a-mazing.

A-mazing.

Ha ey.

I know things have been shallow as of late.

I apologize, but please realize that the "depths" of things have been under exploration in other, more private, realms.

God has been busy lately. Through all the craziness I can feel Him teaching me about prayer and its power, and most importantly about knowing Him. I was doing some reading the other day and I was reminded of how 'knowing God' should be the most important part of our journey as christians. Now I know that there are many ways in which God reveals himself to us. But I have to wonder, How many times does 'knowing God' top my list of things to do? Even when it comes to things I strive for as a christian... how often do I actually put that first? It seems that I'm far more likely to get caught up in putting serving first, or others first, or trying to be "better" or "nicer" first.. all of which are postive things to do, and yes, God has definitely revealed himself to me through those things, but when was the last time I took time out of my crazy life to focus on knowing God? When was last time 'knowing God' was my motive for doing anything? far more often, "Because its what God would want" or "Because its the right thing to do..." or "Because this would make God proud" are my motivating factors.

So that's been on my mind.

And of course we had the National Student Campaign Against Hunger & Homelessness (NSCAHH) National convention this weekend in Seattle:

So many thoughts. Often times God's subtlety amazes me. I wonder if this was the last H&H conference I will ever attend. It's bittersweet. I sat through a presentation the other day and thought, "I am so blessed." And I really am. To go as a 3rd year returner with some sense of knowledge on the issues, and to be able to bring 3 compassionate, eager students with me... that's just such a gift. An answer to prayer really.

I often wonder how I got here. How is it that I found myself in Seattle watching films on water privatization, having conversations over class and priviledge, and learning about hunger fellow programs?

I browse through my past and I remember 5th grade projects over Jane Addams and the Hull House, Monday nights at the rescue mission and other small seemingly insignificant moments that I never thought would play a role in the shaping of my personality and my character.

I observe my present.. serving with H&H and relevant, RAing, campaigning for fair trade goods on campus, building service year, attending luncheons and formal dinners and development meetings and seminar after seminar after seminar, and of course..education education education.

I look toward my future and I accept the fact that there will always be work to do and I embrace the fact that I will be employed with the hope that I will work myself out of a job. I realize that I will live in situations, neighborhoods, and countries that will make me highly susceptible to violence and discrimination. I don't know if I will ever be fully prepared for those days, but they are coming, and I'm not afraid. I'm ready to delve in.. to really commit to the people and places I've been toying with for the past 3 years

Not sure what that means yet... but I'm sure God has something up His sleeve...

In the meantime, here I sit, on my couch, in my free apartment, typing on my lovely iBook, enjoying free wireless service and watching VH1's "The Fabulous Life of Celebrity Wives." All of which provoke me to hope and pray that one day I will know how to fullly reconcile my wealth and priviledge in a world were 30,000 children die every day from poverty.. and hopefully my journey to that day will consist of a lifetime of learning about God and His character...

I always knew we had something in common...

Josh is rocking the boat again.

=)

Check it out and give him a piece of your mind:

http://www.upsaid.com/xynoffy/

seven.

Oprah used to talk about how at the end of each day she would think of 5 things that happened over the course of the day that she had to be thankful for.

Sometimes she had to include "breathing."

It's currently 2:15. My list proves I'm more thankful than Oprah:
1. Not failing my math test.
2. Only having to attend 1/2 of math.
3. 25 minute MUG credit.
4. Leaves finally falling.
5. This weather. Holy crap!
6. One word: wireless.
7. Finding these pics from the Coldplay show online!

"Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens." -JRRTolkien

"When the river slows down at a bend or deepens, currents from below wrinkle the silken surface and, if a leaf drifts by, catch it and spin it around and around and around; and if the current is strong enough, the leaf is sucked under, or if the leaf is lucky enough, it spins free and continues downstream into the swift white water beyond.

The question then is not whether the things that happen to you are chance things or God's things because, of course they are both at once, even the moments when you cannot believe there is a God who speaks at all anywhere, He speaks. Listen to the sweet and bitter airs of your present and your past for the sound of Him." - Buechner

It's all been done...

"The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense."

All those character tests tell me that adaptability is one of my strengths, and they are correct on several levels, but I think it'd be a safer assumption to state that I posses an unhealthy amount of emotional novacaine.

I came to the conclusion that 2005 has been a pretty shitty year. On one hand I feel stupid using such a generalization because I have been extremely blessed this year with experiences that have been, simply put: out of this world. And don't get me wrong, I am extremely thankful for them. But sometimes I can't help but feel that life was just bribing me to stay in the game. Just keep her subdued. She can bend and not break. 2005: Testing the limits of pliable Danica.

So yes, she's adaptable. But being adaptable and having a soul should go hand in hand.. you should still be able to feel things. Hearing that a friend has killed themself should affect you. Having a friend tell you that they have cancer should cause some sort of reaction. Failing 3 tests in a row should cause some sort of panic. Choosing jobs from a string of offers 6 months prior to graduation should be exciting. Planning out the next year of your life should not be boring and meaningless. Meeting new people should not be another dull routine.

Things used to mean something. Now they just dont.

I don't know what the hell my problem is.

One day this is all going to catch up with me and I'm going to lose it.

Until then, we keep it together.

But it's not like I'm trying not to feel things. I try. I just don't think I should have to try. Stuff like that should come naturally.

Anyhow, I've come to yet another conclusion: There are 56 days left in this year (thank God). So if anybody has anything hidden up their sleeve, any diseases, fatal illnesses, confessions of love, relocation plans, major surgeries, plans to screw me over.. etc, Do me a favor and try and relay all the necessary news before January 1st, because come 2006, I'm done.

Yeah, I know. Good luck with that one.


"Only the wind can blow the answer
And she cries to me when I'm asleep
She says you know that you can go much faster
I know that peoples' talk can be so cheap..."

"Confusion is always the most honest response."

And the safe places grow fewer and farther between...

Success.

"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded" ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Something Wal Mart this way comes.....

Hate to say "I told you so."

Wait.. no, I really don't...

New "not-so-debatable" Article:

"Wal-Mart is taking a page from the modern political playbook. Under fire from well-organized opponents who have hammered the retailer with criticisms of its wages, health insurance and treatment of workers, Wal-Mart has quietly recruited former presidential advisers, including Michael K. Deaver, who was Ronald Reagan's image-meister, and Leslie Dach, one of Bill Clinton's media consultants, to set up a rapid-response public relations team in Arkansas.""

The gist: Wal Mart is under fire big time with the release of a documentary by Robert Greenwald entitled "Wal Mart: The High Cost of Low Price"

See Clips HERE.

Then plan on coming Belmont Hunger & Homelessness's screening of the film later this month. (date TBA)

Sigh... good stuff.

"The Greenwald movie threatens to make matters worse. It features whistle-blowers who describe Wal-Mart managers cheating workers out of overtime pay and encouraging them to seek state-sponsored health care when they cannot afford the company's insurance. And it travels across small-town America to assess the effects on independent businesses and downtowns after a Wal-Mart opens."

Haha josh.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

The funny thing is that I took it again, just to be sure... and that this time it appears I am:

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Can of worms anyone??

Debatable Article:

"...Men, he explained, prefer women who seem malleable and awed. He predicted that I would never find a mate because if there's one thing men fear, it's a woman who uses her critical faculties. Will she be critical of absolutely everything, even his manhood?...He had hit on a primal fear of single successful women: that the aroma of male power is an aphrodisiac for women, but the perfume of female power is a turnoff for men...Men going for long-term relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women who are supervisors. Men think that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them. There it is, right in the DNA: women get penalized by insecure men for being too independent...While we had assumed that making ourselves more professionally accomplished would make us more fascinating, it turned out, as Lewis put it, that smart women were "draining at times.""

And MORE Halloween Fun!

A story for you, the reader:

So I was working last night, and I was supposed to have a relief RA on campus who would let me put their sign up for 3 hours at 10pm so I could go to Laura's, but things got confused and they didn't call on time, so Joel offered to stay until the relief worker called and then he would meet up with us at the party... after about 10 minutes of arguing I finally agreed to go... but wouldn't you know that our relief RA never called so Joel got stuck on campus while the rest of us were away at play. We tried to make it up to him with candy and 2am phone calls that made no sense, but Danica still felt pretty bad about it.. so I'm betting she let's him go trick-or-treating in her spot tomorrow.

Anyhow... pics!

Here we are: Nudist Colony on strike.


Go Clothes!


Our Cool Shirts


The Back of Our Cool Shirts.


Close-up of the shirts...


Close-up of the back of the shirts...


Dance!


Mary Beth the Christmas Tree!


Laura, aka: Michael


Get 'em Carrie

More halloween madness...

I just had to post these because they are fabulous.

Fab-u-lous.

Laura!!


Rachel, the Bell South Tower & Jordan, the Rubix Cube!


Kristin, aka: Derek Webb.

In recent news...

So we all remember a certain someone who happened to occupy a couple years of my life back in high school...

Well as it turns out, my dad had a run in with his parents this morning. They both asked how I was doing and then proceeded to tell my father that their son had in fact dropped out of school and was now waiting tables for a living over in Yukon.

I'm not about to say that this makes me "happy," because really, it makes me sad. This is the kid who wanted to follow me to Pepperdine. This is the kid who joined AP US History to be in class with me (and passed!). So much potential...

But then again, I have to say there is a bit of irony in the fact that he considered himself a "realist" and often used that as an excuse to tell me that (in his opinion) my goals and aspirations weren't always within the realm of possibility...

Interesting that while my goals have changed, my real life these past few years has been filled with experiences that still strike me as "outside the realm of possibilty"... and yet, they actually happened.

Crazy thing, life.

On another unrelated note- More pics:

Yay for Halloween fun! Boo for work.

Helping Kristin transform into Derek


Danica, the Tattoo Artist!

NYC Pics!

Look at the beautiful Mercer Women! Wow.


Outside Mom's Gallery


Mercer Street... How fitting.


Outside Serendipity. Yes. THE Serendipity. Frozen Hot Chocolate. Yum.


Ferris. =)


That's a REAL Shadow folks.


MarieBelle's. Ooo lalalala.

oh lola/oh lolita

"O darling, it’s so sweet, you think you know how crazy, how crazy I am.
You say you don’t spook easy, you won’t go, but I know and I pray that you will.
Fast as you can, baby run-free yourself of me,
Fast as you can.

...And for a little while more, I’ll soar the uneven wind,
Complain and blame the sterile land.
But if you’re getting any bright ideas, quiet dear, I’m blooming within.
Fast as you can, baby wait watch me, I’ll be out,
Fast as I can, maybe late but at least about,
Fast as you can leave me, let this thing run it’s route,
Fast as you can ."

I still heart NYC.

So it’s been a fabulous 4 days.

Between limo rides to and from the airport, TWO Broadway shows, gallery visits, shopping in Soho, wanton soup in Chinatown, braised Lamb at “Tavern on the Green,” carriage rides in Central Park, filet mignon at NYC’s only revolving restaurant, the finding of 2 tins of oral fixation mints, a stop at MarieBelle’s, the fabulous cookies and fluffy pillows at Double Tree in Times Square, 3 trips to Dean and Delucca’s, midnight trips to Nathan’s, late night pizza cravings, frozen hot chocolate from Serendipity, and multiple walks on the city streets at night.... I’ve had a wonderful time.

I’m going to live in this city one day. Not for a long period of time and preferably before kids... but one day.

It took me 21 years to get here, but I figure I’ve come twice this year, so that’s a good start.

I’ve done a lot of traveling since I’ve turned 21. Washington DC, Michigan, Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, Florida, Louisiana, North Carolina, South Carolina, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Michigan, Ohio, California, Tokyo, Singapore, Malaysia, Sumatra, Tai Pei, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, London, and Scotland.

Dang.

And in a few weeks I’ll be able to add Seattle, Washington to the list.

32 flights, 20 states, 7 countries, 3 continents and counting....

(and that’s just since turing 21)
Not bad. Not bad at all.

Alas, I digress..

NYC. I love thee.

And yes, I WAS offered crack and Jesus on the same night. (yes, by different people) Yes I DID hear a street choir question whether or not I was ‘Washed in the Blood of the Lamb” moments before running into Ferris Bueller himself. Yes I DID consume about 15 different types of cheese throughout the weekend. Yes, I DID have a great time...

and yes,

I will be back.

I heart NYC.

New York Post.

Ahhhh New York. Where else can you be offered both crack and Jesus on the same night? Where else can you run into Matthew Broderick and a choir singing "Are you washed in the Blood of the Lamb?" on the street?

SO much fun SO little time...

More to come....

And the bricks continue to fall...

Lauren Elizabeth MCCATHREN
Age 21
October 11, 2005
Davidson
Age 21 of Nashville, took her life on the afternoon of Tuesday, October 11, 2005 in Nashville, TN following a courageous battle with bipolar disorder. Lauren was born on March 3, 1984 in Nashville. She was a graduate of University School of Nashville and was pursuing studies in Sociology and Spanish at Belmont University at the time of her death. Lauren's gentle, loving and generous spirit captivated and inspired all who knew her. She loved the outdoors and was an avid hiker and camper. She had a passion for social justice that spurred her involvement in a number of humanitarian and civil rights causes, including a medical mission to Ecuador, the creation of a library for the Dudley Head Start Center in Nashville, and numerous community service projects and activities ministering to the needs of the homeless and indigent in Nashville. A music lover, Lauren was a harpist who enthralled all who heard her play. Lauren was preceded in death by her grandfathers, Samuel Robert Raulston of South Pittsburg, TN and Dr. Donald E. McCathren of DeLand, FL. She is survived by her parents, Holly and Randall McCathren; her sister, Aly and her brother, Gregory of Nashville; by her maternal grandmother, Sue B. Raulston of South Pittsburg, TN; by her paternal grandmother, Millie McCathren-Zamos of N. Myrtle Beach, SC; by her aunts, Katha Raulston of Nashville, Pam Olita (Art) of Fairfield Glade, TN and by her uncle, Samuel Robert Raulston, Jr. (Rebecca) of Hood River, OR. Visitation with the family will be held on Thursday, October 13, 2005 from 6 - 8 p.m. and Friday, October 14, 2005 from 930 - 1045 a.m., at Christ Church Cathedral, 900 Broadway, followed by funeral services at 11 a.m.. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Lauren McCathren Memorial Fund, St. Augustine's Chapel, P.O. Box 6330-B, Nashville, TN 37235 for the establishment of a new student bible study center in her memory. MARSHALL DONNELLY COMBS, (615) 327-1111.


You'd think I'd be somewhat accustomed to this sort of news by now, but while life always seems to remind me that "these things happen" I still can't ever seem to shake that initial shock. That inital numbness.

Lauren was a friend of mine from my first year at Belmont. We transferred in together and she was suite-mates with my friend April, so we would all hang out from time to time. She went ice-skating with me on my 20th birthday. I have pictures of us at PFChang's. She gave me one of her baby-sitting job once. We knew she suffered with some sort of depression, but we were never really sure how to go about dealing with that. She'd come sit with me and have ice cream and cry. She was my frist social-justice friend at Belmont. April and I got her a pair of earrings for her birthday but never gave them to her, as we had started seeing less and less of her toward the end of the spring semester.

After sophomore year Lauren went away for a semester, and then with the exception of the occasional Shins concert I didn't really see her much.

I ran into her this summer out at Fido and we exchanged numbers in the parking lot so we could hang out sometime, but I never called... and we never saw each other again.


I'm tired ya'll. It's been a long time since I've woken up and felt good about things. Too long.

I wonder when everything become so heavy. And I wonder if I'll ever get back to that time and place when things seemed so much easier, less complicated, and less stressful.

Unfortunately, I'm begining to realize that that time and place probably never really existed, and even if it did I still can't escape the fact that I'm still stuck here running in circles searching for the new 'normal'...

...and praying that this isn't it.

Fall Break in Phrases. Fall Break in Photos.

"Homeschooled huh? That makes so much more sense now."

"We called him Teddy Bear. He must have weighed... oh I dont' know.. what would you say?... 550 pounds."

-"But I don't know how to squaredance."
- "It's ok. No one does. Squaredancing is like the Cross. It humbles everybody."

"I cant wait to get my jewels!"

"My other girlfriend is a Hooter's girl."

"Get 'em Bulldog."

"Dude. Saweet. Aw Snap."


"Consider the women of the fields...."


PROOF! Me at a Wal Mart. Wow.


Charissa and Me Every Morning...


Is/Was


The Only House Left On The Beach


Go! push! Arghhh!


Throw it!! Our Pile of Limbs!


The back of Mae's House..


Breakthrough.


Girls With Crowbars. Don't piss us off.


Bye-Bye Toilet.


Patriotic Tarp Dumping


Finishing Touches


Our Blue-Eyed Friends


Group Shot.

As always, more pictoral madness can be found at: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/danicafaithmercer/my_photos