We normally use this blog for picture sharing with family and friends but I felt the tug to write about something God has reminded me of recently.
I had a friend tell me last week that he and his wife are expecting their first child. I told him something that I was told when I became a father...you will come to know more about your Heavenly Father by becoming a father yourself. I meant the comment when I said it but honestly have failed recently to reflect on that truth in my own life. The conversation with my friend brought the parallel back to mind and God has had a megaphone to my ear on the topic ever since.
Patience. I am horrible at being patient with my kids sometimes. I want them to learn how to behave. I want them to do what is right. I realize it won’t happen the first time but the tenth time would be nice. What I have felt God saying to me recently is...what if I fathered you like you father your kids sometimes? In my relationship with God, I desire patience on his part. I want him to be willing to teach me more than once. By being a father myself, I value His patience with me so much more because I know what it feels like to cover something over and over again. By being a father myself, I desire to be a more obedient child. I pray that God will give me His long suffering character, as the Bible describes it, with my children. He has the power and I don’t.
Forgiveness. Norah broke my iPad today. By God’s grace, I quickly came to reality that it is just a thing versus overreacting. (That is not normal by the way. I overreact more than my fair share.) As I, again through God’s grace, calmly explained what had happened to her, the response that came out of her mouth broke my heart as she said, “Daddy, I’m sorry that I broke it. I didn’t know that I broke it.” At that point it time, she could have burned the house down and I wouldn’t have cared. To hear her apologize with a sincere heart took everything away. In my relationship with God, I desire to be forgiven and I am ultimately forgiven of all my sins. By being a father myself, I value His forgiveness when I, His child, mess up. By being a father myself, I desire to be a child that asks for forgiveness with a sincere heart when I mess up. I pray that God gives me His forgiving heart when others mess up towards me. He has the power and I don’t.
Faithfulness. We are trying to ditch the pacifier with Jude. We brought it back for a Memorial Day road trip and so tonight was tough as we quick cold turkey. On my 5th trip into his room after letting him cry it out a good amount each time, I was thinking ‘Alright, this is it. You are on your own’. I was ready to quit and let him cry it out as long as it took. (I know some parenting styles...maybe even the right ones...say I should have let him cry it out on the 1st trip...but bare with me on the analogy) I picked him up in my arms and as he put his head on my shoulder and took a deep, relaxing breath, my heart softened. My mind shifted from logical (where it lives 95% of the time) to emotional (where I want it to live more) and my mind focused on my love for him. By being a father myself, I value God’s faithfulness to continue to pursue me & answer my cry for help. By being a father myself, I desire to cry out to him more often in prayer versus trying to do it on my own. By being a father myself, I value my time with God more. I pray that God gives me His faithfulness with my kids. He has the power and I don’t.
Discipline. Norah is in that stage where she is testing us on everything. Jude is entering that stage where he mimics everything his sister does. So obedience and discipline are common topics around our house these days. One funny story that illustrate the stage we are in occurred this weekend at church. Jude was being noisy (as 18 month boys are) and I told him he needed to whisper. Well one of his favorite books is a book that contains opposites. You see where this is going...So as I tell him to whisper he yells at the top of his lungs, “Shout!” Opposite is definitely a word that we would use to describe our kids behaviors relationship to our instruction these days. In moments of calm when my head is on straight, (not all that often) I sincerely just want them to learn right from wrong. The process of getting there is so complicated. Am I adequately training/teaching or am I just forcing compliant behavior without understanding? Am I being too tough or am I being too soft? Am I being legalistic or am I being inconsistent? Am I disciplining out of pure anger or frustration versus love? I certainly don’t have this figured out and I often fail the in this area. However, by being a father myself, I more fully understand the value of God disciplining me in love as His child. By being a father myself, I desire to be a more obedient child. I pray that God gives me wisdom in disciplining my children. He has the power and I don’t.
I feel like I should be the one teaching my kids more often than not but lately it has felt more like the opposite.
A thankful dad...and son.
