On my mind

There has been a lot on my mind lately, and even more emotions than thoughts. I know hardly ever anyone reads this blog, which actually makes it nice to be able to write my feelings, UN-edited, and without the worry of judgement. I have felt an extreme amount of physical pain the last month from a calf injury. While trying to heal and prepare myself for my upcoming half marathon, i have found myself unable to continue to run. Since I haven't been able to train I have felt down, probably even borderline depressed. Over running? Ya, over running. It makes no sense at all, but all I can attribute the feelings to is the inability to see my growth, to accomplish a goal and to move forward and away from the scariness of a heart disease that I will never be without. This week completely flipped my perception. And has left me with heart ache and sorrow. I met someone when I was first diagnosed with PPCM. Her name was Trisha, and she by far put my feet on the ground and a slap on the back to help me get started in my new life. Through Trisha I met the second most amazing person named Patricia. Patricia was in a sense the face of PPCM, having to actually have a heart transplant she was catapulted into the spotlight, first on the cover of PEOPLE when her heart came from a 16 year old girl named Taylor who died in a skiing accident, then into a book and face of a foundation called 'Taylorsgift.org. She was the picture of HOPE, the amazing one who showed us all what it took to conquer, persevere and master this disease that would end up killing her. I met Patricia and her sweet boys a little over three years ago. She only lives about 40 minutes from my home and may the journey up to spend the day with me and to become someone that I would always look up to. We talked daily and had many 'life can be so cruel' talks as well as many 'seize the day' talks. I have a point.... Let me get to it. Today I write completely heartbroken that my friend Patricia left this world so suddenly. She was not feeling her-self at the beginning of the week and by Thursday morning she was heading to San Diego to where her heart team was to find some answers. With just a simple goodbye to her boys and husband thinking she would be home shortly. She got to San Diego and passed away just a few hours later. Without her boys, husband or any family around her to comfort her. This absolutely sends a wave of emotions through this heart of mine. To think that her kids went to school that morning with their mom, and then came home to nothing. Without a proper goodbye, kiss, hug. Nothing. I have a hole in my heart of not having her humor and wit to make my days brighter, her feisty yet perfectly pleasant personality that so many of us have come to love. I have been thinking of so many of us that she has helped in someway or another. The lessons she has taught me I will cherish forever. So now my goals have changed. Boston is out of the picture. How can I run a marathon and take a gamble to never kiss my children goodbye? I can't. Being that careless would take for granted all that Patricia has taught me and all she was able to live for. I am so saddened by her passing. The thought of her two boys being without their Mom, so close to Christmas has rocked my core. And at the same time I feel so spoiled to have my sweet little spirits around me. What a joy my Children are to me and to have them hurting in anyway would be more than I could bear. I have had several emotional nights and I just am amazed at my husband. His true love for me and his patience while I try to sort out all my feelings has been incredible. I am grateful this year is coming to a close. Adios 2013! Last year at this time I set a resolution to be fit. Not just physically but mentally. I succeeded the physical aspect, but mentally I have left a bit undone. Which brings me into my next years resolution which will be consistency. I will blog more about this later when I don't have mascara running down my face and tickness in my chest from missing my friend. Love you all, all three of you who are reading this. Hug your kiddos tonight, and tell those you love, that you LOVE them. Life is short. And sometimes our time here is not in our control. If you have an extra prayer, shoot it over to the Winters Family. Where Patricia has left behind her husband Joe and their two boys, Jack and Sam. The song "God be with you til we meet again" has been playing constantly through my mind. I pray I will leave this world with all the grace and love that Patricia had for so many. Off to clean my face and hug my babies and my husband. Merry Christmas!

Lazy.

Today I was just plain lazy :) I had my jammes on all day, laid on the couch and watched movies and finished the day off by making scrambled eggs for dinner. Winner, winner, right? Maybe tomorrow I will actually be a productive member of society...don't hold your breath :)

THIS blog!

THIS blog **eye roll** needs to go to timeout for never, ever, EVER staying updated! Oh crap, wait... that is my job. Well, here is an update: {wait for it} I suck at keeping up on this blog. I bet you were completely shocked when you saw our name on the top of your "latest" blog posts list, and I so apologize that you clicked on our link in hopes of some wonderful news. We are still trotting along in the path of Dental school, Catering life and kids. Wish I could tell you we won the lotto or won a new home on America's Makeover show (Is that show still on the air?) or that I suddenly landed a dream job in the highrises of NYC. But here is the good news: We are all happy, mostly healthy and all enjoying life. So I guess take my absence from this blog as a good sign. I am too busy enjoying the everyday life to write about it :) Have a great week! You'll hear from me again in the Fall. ha ha ha. ok. kidding. maybe. Barb

Family home evening

Tonight for F.H.E we made a few lists. Yes, we only have 4 weeks left of Summer, but that is why I felt like I needed a list of fun activities that the kids would like to do before this break comes to an end. I also made a list that the kids can look at so I no longer have to hear about how BoRInG our house is :) 

Take a look:

(To make these I just cut stripes, layered them, glued them and them had the kids tell me their ideas!)

Quote

Love this quote!

Reebok study

I was accepted into a cool study for reebok a few weeks ago. In the end I will get two free pairs of shoes and money for my time, bonus! The first pair of shoes felt like shapers (they wouldn't confirm or deny that), and the second pair I love, definitively running shoes. When I go to the lab they hook me up with tons of monitors that relate my Co2 and heart rate stats. Here is a photo during that test. I told them I felt like an alien!

4th of July

This year we decided that in order to actually enjoy this holiday we needed to be in a cooler area. (Temperature that is) So off to Flagstaff we went. One of David's best friends lives here and so graciously offered his house to us while they boated at Lake Powell. So far, we have taken a walk, David and I ran this morning and the kids have played outside almost all day. All these things are fantastic in 80 degree weather!

So very grateful to live in a country where I can express my opinion, have my religious and political beliefs and my freedom. Thank you to all of those who have served, who serve now and those that will serve our country in the future. God bless the U.S.A!

Life

This evening we played the game "Life" as a family. I forgot how fun that game is.

Fear

I saw this pin on Pinterest and fell in love with the message. Thought I would share :)

Sink or...

We have great friends all around us that have pools, and they are nice enough to let us use them :)

Life is a Beach!

We went to Newport Beach today. I wish we lived here, maybe one day (don't I wish :)

Summer Fun

Today we swam, thank you to our friends the Plocher's for letting us use your pool.

Red-neck Summer

I have to admit, we are a bit red-neck when it comes to cooling off. We pulled out plastic, a sprinkler and trash bags and created magic by water. Check it out:

Little helper

Maddy was adamant about helping with the dishes, love this little girl!

Date night

David and I finally went on a date last week, it was fun to get dressed up with my honey...it was even fun'r that my dress was a size 4 :)

Long time coming...

I promised a certain friend (Shannon Baker) that I would blog this week. So here it is. A Blog post. :) I will do my best to keep this blog updated. But no promises :)