Yikes

So for the last three weeks I've been combing the Utah county day cares trying to find a good fit for my kids, my schedule and price range.  It hasn't been pretty or fun.  Some of the tours I'd come out thinking it was decent and maybe I could do it.  Others I wanted to run away and cry for all the kids that had to be there.  But mostly, I just felt uneasy and untrusting.  We have been fortunate enough to have friends and family to help watch the boys like Phil's Aunt Debbie, my visiting teacher and my sisters.  (Thank you!) But I knew it was time to decide on a place.
  A few of my aunts were in town this weekend and we got together for a BBQ at my cousin's house in Draper.  Well come to find out she had plenty of fabulous recommendations for me for daycare, pediatricians, dentists, etc.  So I checked out the day care she mentioned and I knew right from the start it was the one.  For the first time I felt good about the place and even a little excited for the boys to learn and grow so much there.  They have amazing teachers and curriculum.  They do crafts, have reading groups, field trips, and even have a little computer center where they teach the kids in little groups how to use a computer :)  So I did it.  I signed them up.  And today was their first day.

I cried all the way to work after dropping them off.

... And then some more when my co-worker asked me if I was feeling ok.  :(   So hard!  I just never pictured dropping my kids off at day care and it just sucked a little and I was hoping all day that they were ok and not sad or missing me.  I even called and checked in with their teachers at lunch time just to see   :p   They did great though.  Crew had a little problem apparently with the idea of nap time  ("its for babies") but other than that they had nothing but great things to tell me and are looking forward to the next day they get to go.  Phhhhhhhew!   Hard day.

Anyways, shots from the week:

   

The boys got to chase chickens and feed cows at my cousin's house.  It TOTALLY reminded me of my childhood.  I wish my kids had what I had.  Its sad how it seems you never appreciated what you had when you were young because you didn't know any different.  If I lived in a big country house now on two acres with cows and chickens and orchards and swimming pools and sandboxes and trampolines and boysenberry bushes and a dog to play with all day....it would be heaven to me!!!  Wish I had that for my kids.  Maybe one day :)

Cafe Rio with the cousins and my aunts.


My new hunky sidekick.

Now I know this pic appearing on Facebook sparked a few questions my way but come on peoples, its my cousin! hah! Who knew when he tagged me I'd get multiple texts asking me who Ethan was.  Kinda funny.
Ethan was my little cousin who used to run around family events and entertain everyone with his cute little dancing and adorable little face.  He is actually my cousin's son... we had to google our relationship... first cousin once removed LOL Well he grew up and now we've decided to be buds and take on Provo together :)  Funny how life does that.  You grow up and the age gaps just close.

And another familiar face....  When I took Bruin to Primary to meet his new teacher and class I was taken back when I saw who was sitting there on his row.  Jordan Jensen. Ha!  This guy grew up with me in my stake back in Clovis and our families knew each other well.

He is still funny as ever.  I was cracking up the whole time I sat with he and his wife's class.  And since I just got my new calling as... Primary Pianist (shocker) ... I'll get to be entertained all through Primary.  I also discovered my sister's old roommate in the ward so it's cool to know some people already.

..And that's this week's picture/story unload  :)

The Crew-Bug

Guess who just turned 3?!  My little baby stinker Crew is all grown up.  He went from this...

...to this overnight.

My favorite things about Crew:
    He makes us all laugh every day.
    He can't say his "r's" or "l's" so he says things like "watessmelon" and "computess".
    He says hi to everyone he sees.
    He tells me every day, "Mom, You da best and pretty."

Crew and Bruin are the best of friends.  They go everywhere together, make each other feel better when sad, visit each other in time-out, and protect each other always.  The other day Bruin spent most of the duration of my shower trying to convince me to let him and Crew go to the neighborhood park across the road alone.  He explained that there were lots of pine trees around and that if any bad guy came to take Crew he would pick a pine needle off a tree and stab the bad guy with it.
Very reassuring Bruin.


For Crew's birthday we took him to Trafalga where we did laser tag, bowling, rides, and arcade games.  

It was the first time either of the boys had done laser tag so that was pretty fun for us once they got the hang of it.

Then I took them to the requested McDonald's dinner (ew)

and home for his first birthday present.... a Green Lantern costume. He loves it.  Especially the light up ring :)


Later in the week we had his little birthday party over at Phil's place.  We BBQd up some delicious food and had over his cousins for a good time.

Phil taught the boys some Red Rover.

We ate cake... made by my big sis April who is so fun and creative with her cakes that she offered to do  Crew's last minute.  I was opting to just pick up donuts and stick candles in and call it a day but Crew was requesting a Three Little Pigs cake and I just felt so bad not doing it.  So I brought the stuff to the party and April saved the day and decorated it there at the party. He loved it.

Green faces all around.

He got t-rex bubbles and superhero underwear from his cousins...

.... and another costume from me... Captain America.

There has been plenty of superhero fighting going on around the house ever since :)

Crew Crew Crew.  Love you Bug.
 

Sometimes...

What do women tend to do while experiencing relationship turmoil?
   They change their appearance.  They let their friends take them away for a weekend to laugh, cry, and tell them they're strong enough, great enough, brave enough to take on the world again. They take deep breaths, say long prayers, slap that smile on their face and carry on!
  Well, I've done all these things.
    Chopped my hair and blonded myself... Check

Spent a weekend with my amazing college girlfriends, Joy and AubRee.... Check

  ...Amateur modeling (mostly a hilarious disaster for AubRee and I who can't take a serious shot to save us..)

Spa and sauna hopping

                   Pedicures.... My Birthday present from them :)

 

Couldn't be complete without a Cafe Rio and In N Out trip !

 

 And now able to slap a smile on and carry on... Check.

  It's hard to feel judged by everyone around you.   But it's neat to see who really loves you and supports you in the end.  And sometimes you just have to let go of those who don't.
  I love this quote I saw on Pinterest:

lovequotespics

Thank you to all those who have sent me even just a little kind note to let me know you care.  I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful people around me.
  Today is Mother's Day and it's been so wonderful to reflect on my personal journey through life and motherhood so far.  Sometimes it felt like I was holding on by my fingernails; the late night feedings, the crying and spitting up that never ended with Crew (or "Crucifer" as we tended to call him back then..), the mastitis, the feeling so exhausted and stretched thin that I would give ANYTHING for one night of interrupted sleep in a hotel far away from anyone :)
  But then I realize how all those things have shaped me into a better person, more patient, less selfish, more understanding, more appreciative.  And I get to experience amazing love from two little boys who make me feel like the most special person in the world.  Seriously.  Right now the hardest part is being a good listener, having patience, taking care of their daily needs.  But in just a few years its going to be a different stress.  Hoping they are making good friends, staying out of trouble with girls, wondering if they're really where they say they are, praying that I'm doing enough at home to strengthen them and give them a foundation and understanding of the Atonement.  Because let's be honest.  The world is a different place than when we grew up.  My kids are probably gonna make some bad choices in their lives.  Most of us have.  But I trust that if they've been taught true principles, understand the Atonement, and recognize the feelings of the Spirit, they will have enough to return to Christ and His path for them.  Motherhood is truly an amazing journey (I hate using that word because it makes me think of The Bachelor).  It's something that will continue to push me, shape me, bend me into who the Lord wants me to be.  And that is why I'm grateful for it all.
   Happy Mother's Day to everyone.  You really do a great work for this world. You are significant.

And now I'm off to bed where I'll likely be woken up at least once to replace a blanket or clean a pee soaked bed :p

This Week

(Please excuse my weird formatting... I haven't quite figured out how to blog from my iPad yet..)


Well we are finally finished moving this week and I am completely exhausted! Every muscle in my body aches from lifting boxes and furniture and like after every move, I've decided I'm never moving again! I'm here for good! Thanks to my amazing friend Liz and my sweet visiting teacher Cynthia I was able to get it done though. Phew! I think I drove from Kaysville to Orem to Lehi to Kaysville and back about 7,000 times this week. The boys did a lot of this
(Pic #1 below)

Poor guys. We ate a lot of Cheetos and cereal this week :p

But there was a little bit of fun in between. Motocross was awesome.
(Pic#3)


We did the dinosaur museum at Thanksgiving Point with cousins.
Phil and I took the boys to Trafalga tonight and Bruin impressed us with his climbing skills. Check him out! What a stud!
(Pic #2)


All in all its been a tough week but its starting to come together now and hopefully we'll get a good schedule down by next week. I really love my new place and I'm looking forward to meeting the ward this Sunday. I have so much to be grateful for and I truly am. I look at my boys every day and know The Lord gave me these two specific spirits because He knew what I needed and I am so grateful for them. They are so good and sweet and my whole world wrapped into two little busy bodies. Life is still good.