Today, an 18 year old newlywed high school drop out I know posted on FACEBOOK that she didn't want her baby. This breaks my heart. What a precious spirit this little baby is and his or her mom says something like that in a public setting.
I don't know if it's because I center my life around having a family one day, but to say that you don't want your child is definitely one of the worse things you can do...
I hope and pray that Heavenly Father has blessed this child with strength and wisdom...
Poor baby. I just feel so heart broken over this.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
More than Cleaning
My dear friends,
Yesterday I was "officially" diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Ya... OCD. No I don't wash my hands 40 times a day and I don't clean like the world will end if I don't. I do obsessively worry that I will hit someone with my car. I get major anxiety over things that pop into my head that disturb me, even though I know their ridiculous. My compulsions are minimal.... Finder tapping, checking things like the doors or the stove nobs when I bump them.
I've know for a very long time that something was wrong but I didn't know exactly what until I watched a season of the tv show "obsessed" and found some striking similarities between me and the people featured on the show. I started researching OCD and knew that's what was up with me.
I was terrified to actually go see a doctor though. I didn't want to talk to my parents about it and I didn't want to be labeled as a psycho and have the stigma attached to mental illness... Especially with so much talk about mental illness and gun control lately. But one day I was talking to my friend Celest, who also suffers from an anxiety disorder, and she said to me that it just means that there is something wrong with my brain. If something was wrong with my heart or my liver, I'd get treated for that. So, since something was wrong with my brain, I should get that treated too....
And that's what changed my mind.
I went to a doctor that Celest suggested and had my first appointment yesterday. The doctor was a lot nicer than I expected. He smiled a lot and listened (I guess that's his job). After we were done talking, sure enough, he said it was OCD.
So the doctor put me on some antidepressants. (He told me that antidepressants work better on anxiety than they do on depression. How silly is that!?) that's not really the point. The point is that I HAVE NEVER FELT SO GREAT! The one med works fast while the other one works over time. So while that one is building up in my system, the other one makes me feel better in 20 minutes after taking it. I honesty didn't think I would ever feel so great.
The doc also suggested I go to therapy... So I'll be plunging into that world pretty soon!
I can't believe that I spend so long feeling trapped in my own head. I feel like my thoughts are finally my own and I finally feel some peace and calm.
It's only been since yesterday so we will have to see how all of this goes... But I'm hoping to continue to feel as great as I do and be able to achieve all the things I couldn't because of what I worried about.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Yesterday I was "officially" diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Ya... OCD. No I don't wash my hands 40 times a day and I don't clean like the world will end if I don't. I do obsessively worry that I will hit someone with my car. I get major anxiety over things that pop into my head that disturb me, even though I know their ridiculous. My compulsions are minimal.... Finder tapping, checking things like the doors or the stove nobs when I bump them.
I've know for a very long time that something was wrong but I didn't know exactly what until I watched a season of the tv show "obsessed" and found some striking similarities between me and the people featured on the show. I started researching OCD and knew that's what was up with me.
I was terrified to actually go see a doctor though. I didn't want to talk to my parents about it and I didn't want to be labeled as a psycho and have the stigma attached to mental illness... Especially with so much talk about mental illness and gun control lately. But one day I was talking to my friend Celest, who also suffers from an anxiety disorder, and she said to me that it just means that there is something wrong with my brain. If something was wrong with my heart or my liver, I'd get treated for that. So, since something was wrong with my brain, I should get that treated too....
And that's what changed my mind.
I went to a doctor that Celest suggested and had my first appointment yesterday. The doctor was a lot nicer than I expected. He smiled a lot and listened (I guess that's his job). After we were done talking, sure enough, he said it was OCD.
So the doctor put me on some antidepressants. (He told me that antidepressants work better on anxiety than they do on depression. How silly is that!?) that's not really the point. The point is that I HAVE NEVER FELT SO GREAT! The one med works fast while the other one works over time. So while that one is building up in my system, the other one makes me feel better in 20 minutes after taking it. I honesty didn't think I would ever feel so great.
The doc also suggested I go to therapy... So I'll be plunging into that world pretty soon!
I can't believe that I spend so long feeling trapped in my own head. I feel like my thoughts are finally my own and I finally feel some peace and calm.
It's only been since yesterday so we will have to see how all of this goes... But I'm hoping to continue to feel as great as I do and be able to achieve all the things I couldn't because of what I worried about.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Hair!
So I chopped my hair at the end of July. It was pretty darn short. I didn't immediately regret it, no no. But pretty soon I wished it would grow faster.
I headed to the web and came across "no poo" or no shampoo. And I tried it!! Ya I'm sure you are going ewww gross! But oh you are so wrong! Just because I'm not shampooing my hair doesn't mean I'm not washing it!
I started using a diluted Castile soap solution and apple cider vinegar. The first day was great. My hair felt so clean! The second day was gross. My hair was super greasy, but after that it hasn't been oily at all!
A couple of days ago I noticed these kinda gross bits of scalp in my hair. It wasn't like dandruff; it was a bit bigger and there would only be a few every day. Then my mom noticed this....
Do you see all those little hairs?
No, they aren't because I burned my hair. I'm really rather careful when it comes to hear.
I think this "no poo" has unblocked hair follicles, allowing the hair to grow! These little hairs are ALLLL OVER my head! It makes me so excited.
I headed to the web and came across "no poo" or no shampoo. And I tried it!! Ya I'm sure you are going ewww gross! But oh you are so wrong! Just because I'm not shampooing my hair doesn't mean I'm not washing it!
I started using a diluted Castile soap solution and apple cider vinegar. The first day was great. My hair felt so clean! The second day was gross. My hair was super greasy, but after that it hasn't been oily at all!
A couple of days ago I noticed these kinda gross bits of scalp in my hair. It wasn't like dandruff; it was a bit bigger and there would only be a few every day. Then my mom noticed this....
Do you see all those little hairs?
No, they aren't because I burned my hair. I'm really rather careful when it comes to hear.
I think this "no poo" has unblocked hair follicles, allowing the hair to grow! These little hairs are ALLLL OVER my head! It makes me so excited.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Bein' healthy
I thought I'd show you guys some of my progress with my weight.
I lost thirty pounds and have a new love for veggies, fruit and exercise! I also love how clothes fit now!
The pics on the left are from Feb. 2012 and the right are from May (ish) 2012*
Now I get asked this a lot... "Is that the same shirt?" Isn't not. The one on the right is a size smaller and a "smaller" brand.
It's amazing the difference in my face.
These pics are a year apart. May 2011 and May 2012. I mean LOOK! I have dimples now! I've even gotten compliments on them!
It's not a huge change... Ok we'll it is. I still have a long way to go but I already feel so good and so much better about myself.
*P.S. I've been doing stretches that address my sway back so the side view looks a bit different now.
I lost thirty pounds and have a new love for veggies, fruit and exercise! I also love how clothes fit now!
The pics on the left are from Feb. 2012 and the right are from May (ish) 2012*
Now I get asked this a lot... "Is that the same shirt?" Isn't not. The one on the right is a size smaller and a "smaller" brand.
It's amazing the difference in my face.
These pics are a year apart. May 2011 and May 2012. I mean LOOK! I have dimples now! I've even gotten compliments on them!
It's not a huge change... Ok we'll it is. I still have a long way to go but I already feel so good and so much better about myself.
*P.S. I've been doing stretches that address my sway back so the side view looks a bit different now.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Boom Shaka Laka!
Name that movie! Haha
One of my New Years resolutions was to blog more often and I think I failed miserably! So I guess it's time to catch up a bit.
I'm still working up at the chiropractor. But I'm not going to weber anymore. I'm going to go to the DATC in January to do medical assisting and I am pretty excited about that!
I'm in a new ward and have made friends with some neat ladies there. I'm teaching 4 year olds.... Which is really hard. They don't talk much.... I'm not sure what's worse; to have 4 year olds talk too much, or too little. Next week is the primary program and I'm really not looking forward to it!
My friend JC is home from is mission! I went to his homecoming and it was AMAZING. I haven't talked to him much because I realize that his life is KINDA crazy right now!
I got an iPhone. That's pretty cool I guess...
Yep, well, that's just about it! Still sewing and stuff.
Oh! My birthday is in just over a month and for the first time in my life I'm not looking forward to it!
Ok tah tah for now
One of my New Years resolutions was to blog more often and I think I failed miserably! So I guess it's time to catch up a bit.
I'm still working up at the chiropractor. But I'm not going to weber anymore. I'm going to go to the DATC in January to do medical assisting and I am pretty excited about that!
I'm in a new ward and have made friends with some neat ladies there. I'm teaching 4 year olds.... Which is really hard. They don't talk much.... I'm not sure what's worse; to have 4 year olds talk too much, or too little. Next week is the primary program and I'm really not looking forward to it!
My friend JC is home from is mission! I went to his homecoming and it was AMAZING. I haven't talked to him much because I realize that his life is KINDA crazy right now!
I got an iPhone. That's pretty cool I guess...
Yep, well, that's just about it! Still sewing and stuff.
Oh! My birthday is in just over a month and for the first time in my life I'm not looking forward to it!
Ok tah tah for now
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Newest Project: A Novel
Wow, I didn't realize that it had been so long since I blogged last!
In the meantime I have had a bunch of projects going!
1) Creating jewelry and sewing stuff to sell in my future etsy store.
2) Training for a 5k.
3) Writing a novel.
I'm really excited about all three but I have to say I'm really a little bit extra excited about my book. I don't want to give anything away.... But....
There's multiple dimensions..... One of them being a totally Steampunk one! There's some crazy secrets and some scary bad guys. There's betrayal and love. I know that's super vague, but I dont want to post much about it!
Well, peace, love and apple sauce everyone!
In the meantime I have had a bunch of projects going!
1) Creating jewelry and sewing stuff to sell in my future etsy store.
2) Training for a 5k.
3) Writing a novel.
I'm really excited about all three but I have to say I'm really a little bit extra excited about my book. I don't want to give anything away.... But....
There's multiple dimensions..... One of them being a totally Steampunk one! There's some crazy secrets and some scary bad guys. There's betrayal and love. I know that's super vague, but I dont want to post much about it!
Well, peace, love and apple sauce everyone!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
1 Year Ex-Friendiversary!
Today is a really difficult day.Not only have I been feeling crummy (sickness wise) but I remembered that today a year ago was the last time a certain person was friends with me. After May 15, 2011, any act of kindness was a big joke; just enough kindness to keep me quiet until we graduated. I knew he was faking. Honesty is #1, y'all.
I guess I miss the person he use to be. That's what makes me sad. I'm not sad about what happened. If they hadn't I wouldn't be the person I am now, but I wish things would have been handled better. Like actually sitting down and talking to me about what's wrong rather than ignoring me. I'm sad that I lost the best person I knew... Even if it was years before this.
But I keep telling myself that I'm better off.
I guess I miss the person he use to be. That's what makes me sad. I'm not sad about what happened. If they hadn't I wouldn't be the person I am now, but I wish things would have been handled better. Like actually sitting down and talking to me about what's wrong rather than ignoring me. I'm sad that I lost the best person I knew... Even if it was years before this.
But I keep telling myself that I'm better off.
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