Is it a wake or awake?

As many of you know matt's dad passed away suddenly this summer. He was only 63, its crazy. I miss him.Well his birthday is tomorrow and so the whole bell clan is getting together on wed to celebrate his life and tell some stories. I am excited. It was hard to get to know him because he was such a private person, very private. In fact at his funeral I felt like I really learned more about him with the stories that were told than I did in the whole 6 1/2 years I have known him.

So we are all supposed to come up with a story to say about him and I am having the hardest time. I mean I can think of a few instances when we had family activities but nothing grounbreaking. This is actually something that plagues me, I have the worst memory. Matt can remember conversations, details, etc that I have no idea about. Is it bad that I don't remember a lot about him? I mean I was supposed to have 20-30 more years to get to know him so I didn't feel any kind of rush to find out about his childhood, job, etc. I feel like I took him for granted. With that being said I am just going to go with what I have and rely on others i.e. his actual children to get some good memories. Then I am going to write them down! I will inevitably forget them if I don't. So, I am looking forward to wednesday it will be sad, I know I will cry but it will be good to think about him again.

what are the odds?

Look at my amazing sister, and her cute little boy isaiah. She is beautiful inside and out. She has had so many health problems all relating to her digestive system. For years she tried so many different things but nothing worked. She could not go out to eat or rather just eat because everything made her sick. In turn she learned to cook with alternative foods. She is an amazing cook and so she has developed a cook book. You can buy it at the greensmoothiegirl.com, or rather her blog, there is a link on the website. Now I titled this "what are the odds" because this is the girl who when we were growing up thought that 2 3/4 cup of flour meant that you add 1 1/2 c you know like adding 3/4 c two times--true story. But it just goes to show that anyone can cook if you take the time to learn. She is all gluten free right now and will probably be writing a gluten free book as well. I am most looking forward to that one. She uses alternative to sugar, wheat, butter, etc. Now she is, obviously, a mother so her recipes aren't that intense and time consuming. I just wanted everyone to know how proud I am of her she takes risks and tries so many different things I never would have the guts to do. Good Job Des!

Training to be a Yogi!

Okay so I am not really a yogi, nor do I profess to be really good at it. But I will say that since my back has been really bugging as of late I have picked it up once again. Just a good 20-30 min a day has made all the difference. After I had ez my back was really bothering me, like I am sitting there nursing him and it was like searing pain in my back. I finally went and had acupunture and chiropratic services done but they would only alleviate the problem. I finally had an MRI done and I have a bulging disc in my vertebrae that is pinching 2 nerves. Now it really sounds worse than it is. I don't have to take any pain medication or really do anything except for stay in shape. But sometimes, like 2 months ago, I overdid it with something-I don't really know what it was-but the pain came back. Well after doing yoga and going back to the chiroprator I can say now that I am in the clear. I am so grateful that this really is my only health problem compare to so many who have so many worse things to deal with. So if you really want to know my opinion on yoga it works miracles!

*****Side note****I found this picture when I googled yoga and all I can say is what the crap?

I'm sorry mommy

Okay so anyone ever feel inadequate as a mom? and no this is not me fishing for compliments, I know that I don't totally suck all the time its just one of those days you know? Brighton came home from school all ornery or maybe it was just me vacumning the house as soon as he got home-he gets all crazy when the vacumn is on I think it overstimulates his senses just another lovely byproduct of sensory integration- so he is teasing ezra constantly. Then he gets on the spiderman costume and becomes the crime fighting superheroe that is only kicking or hitting me or ez. AAAHH!! Okay so now would be a good time to insert where I really need to work on-PATIENCE. I guess we all need a little more patience but after he hit ez for the last time I literally wrestled the costume off of him and took him upstairs for a timeout only too see what took him so long to go to the bathroom. A full toilet of toilet paper with pee on top of it. So yea I don't get the logic with toilet paper before the pee, but whatever like I was really so concerned with that. So I totally spanked him. Wow, do I feel guilty or what. Not that I am totally against spanking but I am against it when you are out of control and I know I was at that point. But I didn't stop there I make him clean out the toilet the whole time I am yelling at him about not touching the toilet paper unless it is needed. Then I tell him I don't want to see him right then and make him go in his room because this is where reasoning finally came into play and I knew I needed to calm down. We ended this whole episode with me holding bri while he is still bawling saying "I'm sorry mommy" over and over. I know I handled this situation inappropriately and I think now if I only would have just played with him it probably would have turned out a lot better. But once again its just one of those days.