This is random

I've been trying to cook more lately. We were in a bit of a food rut plus it's hard to even find time to cook. Since Char won't eat table food:( I think it's important for us to eat dinner together so she's seeing us eat and trying those foods with her baby food. Having our dinner ready in time to eat with Char (at 7 pm) can be tricky. It's close to 6 when I get home. And then we can easily spend 30 mins discussing what to eat. Many a nights we wouldn't eat until after she went to bed 8 or 8:30 ish. Not fun. Even if we have a plan for dinner I would have to start cooking immediately once I got home. But when I haven't seen Char all day, I would rather play with her than chop veggies.
Enter my savior,the crockpot.
I've really gotten into crock pot cooking lately. I made 'Hawaiian Chicken' (more like sweet and sour) a few weeks ago and it was ok. I made pot roast with potatoes and carrots that was fabulous. But we had tons left over. That's another food problem we have- too many leftovers the end up wasted. So after Char went to bed on pot roast night, I chopped up the meat and potatoes, added more veggies and beef broth to the crock pot... Beef stew! I stuck it in the frig and Jacob put the crockpot on when he got home the next afternoon. Easy peasy. And tasty.
Another night we were going to have tacos so I decided to brown twice as much ground turkey (trying to be skinny) for the next nights meal. Also I made black bean corn salsa for a taco topping. After we ate the tacos I dumped the leftover seasoned meat, black bean corn salsa, and a few more ingredients in the trusty crockpot and bam taco soup.
Looking at all that soup I thought dang we'll never eat all of this or we'll get burned out. So I decided to freeze half for a lazy day.
The next night we had enough to eat a nice size bowl for dinner and I had some to take for lunch. I only cooked 1 night and we had 2 dinners and lunch and we have 1 dinner and 1 lunch in the freezer. I was very excited. I guess you know that since I took pictures of soup. Haha
I've been reading about freezer/ once a month cooking and it has alot of appeal but I'm not sure if I'm that intense.....yet;) Maybe for now I'll try to just freeze half of our dinners. I'm thinking meatloaf and lasagna are my next conquests because I always make way too much of those.

Anyone have any easy cooking tips to share?

By and by Lord, by and by

I've been in a funk the past week. I've been thinking a lot. I have tried the ole Ferguson grief technique of pushing all feelings way down deep but they always find a way out. Plus, I'm not near as stoic as some of my family is or like I try to be. I do most of my thinking when I rock Char to sleep. That time used to be my quiet time to pray but the past few days I haven't prayed. I start to but my mind wonders.
Here's a few things I think about:

I hate that my Mammaw died in the hospital. I can't stop dwelling on the fact that when she left her house to go get her back pain checked out that she wouldn't ever go back. I wish she would have died at home where she was comfortable.

She did however die holding my dad's and his sister's hands. So even though she wasn't at home, she wasn't alone. Even better she was with her kids. How poetic that she was there for their first breaths of life and they were there for her last.

I've been thinking a lot about the roles we have in life. My Mammaw was mother to 5 kids, sister to 10 siblings, grandmother to 11 grandkids, and great grandmother to 6 great grandkids. I have always just been daughter and granddaughter. Then in recent years I've become wife and mother. And now that all of my grandparents are gone I'm not granddaughter anymore. Charlotte has slipped in to my role, me into my parents role and now they into my grandparents roles. True we have had these roles since January when Char was born. But it's different now. I feel older and feel more responsibility somehow. Maybe because my parents no longer have the child role. As cheesy as it sounds-it's the circle of life. My parents don't seem old enough to be like the grandparents I remember. But maybe that's because I don't feel old enough to be my parents.

My Mammaw's house was the last connection to my childhood. I don't have that childhood home. Mammaw's was the only place I had that stayed the same my whole life. It will be a sad day when they sell it. As long as I can remember we have always has Christmas at Mammaw's and the word is we will all try to get together there again this year.

Along with the Christmas train of thought, she always made hello dollie cookies. Always. They were packed into the tins that she collected. She was so thrifty. She never would have bought a new Christmas tin for her cookies, she just saved the ones she had. Also no matter what the meal was we had, even takeout, she always made me green beans. Because I loved her fresh green beans.

This is common but I feel like I need some sort of closure or something. I feel the need to honor her some way or make a way to remember her by. Something. She loved Unity Broadcasting and her obituary requested people to make donations on lieu of flowers. I haven't donated yet. I feel like it isn't enough. She always saved cans and cashed them in for money even though she didn't need it. She was very thrifty and throwing away cans would have been like throwing money in the trash. I thought about saving our cans and donating that money to unity broadcasting. That would have more meaning perhaps. I dunno.

Another random thought, I wasn't completely sure about having a 2nd kid but now I'm thinking it would be nice to have a big family like Mammaw did. 5 kids? Hmm maybe not that many. 3? 4? I dunno. I bet it sure was nice to have so many people to love you and to love.

Will the circle be unbroken

This was played at the funeral:


I was standing by my window
On a cold and cloudy day
When I saw the hearse come rollin'
For to take my mother away.

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

I told the undertaker:
"undertaker, please drive slow,
For this body you are haulin'
Lord, I hate to see her go".

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

Well I followed close behind her,
Tried to hold up and be brave,
But I could not hide my sorrow
When they laid her in the grave

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

I went back home, my home was lonesome,
Missed my mother she was gone.
All my brothers and sisters crying
In our home so sad and alone.

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

We sang the songs of childhood,
Hymns of faith that made us strong,
Ones that our mother had taught us,
Hear the angels sing along

Will the circle be unbroken?
By and by lord, by and by,
There's a better home a-waitin'
In the sky lord, in the sky.

There's a better home a waitin'

I've been writing this blog entry in my head for days. My grandmother passed away early (around 3am I think) last Monday morning. She was in the hospital for a few week because of severe pain. Finally they transferred her to Jackson hospital and they ran more tests to find that she had cancer. Then it took several days to find out the type- stage 4 large cell lung cancer that had spread to her liver and bones. They started chemo and did radiation on her back to ease some of the bone pain. First the chemo didn't have any side effects but then they came hard. Then she got over them felt a little better and then she passed away.

The last time I saw her was Sept 27. We went out of town to NY and then to CT for a wedding the 29th- 2nd. We went to see her in the hospital everyday before our trip except for the 28th because we took Char to Savannah that night after work so Jacob's aunt and granny could babysit Char for us. We got back home that night close to 11pm and we had an early flight that next morning. We had a fabulous time in NY and CT but I don't like to think about it because I regret going. We got up Sunday 2nd (after only having 3 hr sleep) at about 5am, caught a ride to the closest train station, had a 1.5 hr train ride to NY, caught a cab to the airport, then after a 30 mins cab ride we had to late in a very long security line, our flight was about 2.5 hr long, then from Memphis we drove to Savannah to get Char. A long day. By the time we got Char up from her nap, ate a quick dinner, and fed Char it was nearly 8pm when we got home. I called my dad and he said Mammaw was doing good. He told me she wouldn't be able to keep up the chemo and she only had a few months. But they were going to do physical therapy and move her back. I decided I wouldn't go to the hospital that night because I was tired and I missed Charlotte,
My dad called me at 4:47 that next morning to tell me the news. I'm so angry at myself for not going that night.

I'm starting to get over not seeing her that night because I know I had no way of knowing it was her last night. And she wasn't herself in the hospital. The person I knew and miss wasn't the person laying in the hospital bed.

Then I started feeling guilty for not seeing her more while she was healthy. But when I thought back on it, I've seen her alot more this past year than I did the year before. You know why- Charlotte. I have no doubt that Charlotte was born when she was so the family would have a reason to see each other more often in Mammaw's last year. So for that time I'm thankful.

This isn't exactly the beautiful blog post I envisioned writing.

Test from my iphone app

I went to the JAMOM Mommy and Me Consignment sale Saturday and got some great stuff. Great brands: Gymboree, The Children's Place, Old Navy, Gap, Zutano, Carter's, Nautica...
4 PJs, 2 sweaters, hoodie, jeans, 4 shirts, 2 pants, and a overall outfit with matching hat- all for the low low price of $22! Woo
I love a good deal!

Hope this iPhone blog app works good so I can blog more often:)

One bad plum makes the whole lot go bad

I made Char some plums last night. I taste tested a few and they tasted good so I peeled, steamed and pureed them all. I then tasted the finished product- SOUR. yike! I let Char have a quick bit and she was not digging the sour. Apparently a couple plums were not ripe yet and ruined the whole lot. I was pretty bummed but oh well. I was able to make a bunch of zuchini for her and I plan to make up some sweet potato and yellow squash today. We bought some necturines at the farmers market for us to eat but I may mash some of those up for char.





In other news, Char went for her 6 month check up yesterday (4 days before she'll offically be 6 months). She weighs 20 lbs even. She was just shy of doubling her birth weight. She is 28 in long! and I forget the head size but she was 97th percentille in all the categories. The only "bad" thing the doctor said is that she isn't rolling enough. But Char just prefers to sit up or hold on to something and stand. But the doctor says she should be rolling all over the place trying to get into stuff.

Bedding...

So Jacob and I are looking to redecorate (more like decorate for the first time) our bedroom.
We have blue/grey walls and a tan fabric upholstered bed...
Our 2 top choices (so far...) are-

http://www.westelm.com/m/products/spring-floral-duvet-and-shams-b593/moreimages.html?pkey=cduvet-covers

Or

http://www.potterybarn.com/m/products/monreale-paisley-duvet-cover-sham/moreimages.html?pkey=call-duvet-covers-shams

Thoughts?

I like floral and paisley but it can't be TOO feminine for Jacob's liking. I like blues and greens... Calming colors but fun. We are creating a calming/ fun haven:)

Lemme know your ideas

Sent from my iPhone

The wonderful world of solids

Greetings! It's been way too long since I've updated.

Charlotte is getting so big these days. She's standing up when we hold her hands, she's starting solids...it's crazy times. I've told her to slow down some, but she won't listen:)

Charlotte has eaten rice and oatmeal cereals, sweet potatoes and avocado. So far she likes them all. I'm making her baby food and I'm really excited about it. I've gotten a few strange looks when I've told people that I'm making it. But let me clarify- I'm not a 'crunchy mom' ...you know the ones that breastfeed for like 5 years, only use cloth diapers and make their baby organic purees ....not that there's anything wrong with those moms. I like those moms but they get a bad rep of judging other moms who feed their babies poison (aka baby formula and jarred baby food).... All that to say I'm making her food purely because I just enjoy cooking and want to cook for Charlotte. I don't think anything is wrong with canned babyfood. And I'm sure part of my desire to make it may possibly be rooted in my working mom guilt haha. who knows.

So far I'm really enjoying it. For the sweet potato we went to the local farmer's market (I know, I sound crunchy) and picked out th eperfect tater.... Well almost. We walked around forever in the hot sun getting other things and finaly as an after thought we bought the sweet potato at the last and most shady booth there. The sales lady was smoking, the guy unloading was about 100 years old and wearing blue jeans without underwear (just trust me on this one) and there was a screaming baby in the back of their vegatable trailor. Yikes. But she were too tired to go back around to the other vendors. So yeah.... we got her the best sweet potato ever. haha The avocado was cool because it was soo easy-just mash it.

I made squash for her to eat this morning. I'm excited about it because it came from my mom's garden. I mean it just doesn't get much fresher than that!

A little steam action. Then blend it up with my stick blender. The pour it and freeze. presto.



Welp that was a lot of fun. I'll let you know how she likes the squash.

Next weekend I'm thinking we will try banana,pear, or green bean... hmm can't decide. I'm laening towards banana though....

Bummed

I'm kinda bummed out right now. Every week of working (so far away) gets harder and harder. During the week I only get 30 mins with char in the morning and 1-1 1/2 hrs with char at night each day. I get 2 hrs in the car each day but I won't count that as quality time.
Luckily I have every other Friday off and all weekend with her but I still get sad on Sunday knowing it all starts up again Monday:(
My mom (who babysits char) is at the beach this week so Helen is watching Char. She is picking her up tomorrow morning and taking her to savannah til Wednesday. When I rocked her to sleep tonight I didn't want to put her down because I won't see her for 3 days. I'm hoping she wakes up early so I see her before work.
I'm sad but I'm trying to stay positive. I believe we have trials in our lives and face difficult times for a reason.... Right?
I hope this will be one of those things I'll look back on and see Gods plan.

Good night all.
Sorry for being Debbie Downer

Sent from my iPhone

4 months! 16 lbs, 4 oz. 26 3/4inches long:)