amanda marie

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

One morning in Spring 2012 I was getting dressed for work and was overcome with emotion. I broke down on the floor bawling saying, "I can't do this. I can't do this." over and over again. I've never felt so depressed and hopeless in my life. I didn't think I could get dressed and go to work that day let alone go on living normally when I was completely destroyed by heartbreak. When I think about that day now I tear up at how far I've come. It's hard for me to remember why I felt so hopeless and why it was so hard for me to just move on, which is crazy to me. I thought I would feel that way forever but here I am now with only vague memories of those feelings. What's even more amazing to me is that I actually went to work that day. I went to work the next day too. Even though it seemed so daunting and impossible to go on with life, I did it.

That morning was my lowest point. I like to think about that moment now even though it was so hard for me. Because without the lowest of lows, I wouldn't know how amazing it is to be at a high point in my life. To be able to wake up everyday with a smile on my face is huge. To go throughout my day without feeling an ounce of anxiety is such a blessing. To be dating someone who is beyond kind and so good to me is everything. If I wouldn't have had that breakdown following a very turbulent few years in an unhealthy relationship/breakup, I'd most likely be taking these things for granted.