another year, another post.

---

so i would say that this year's key highlight was the 5 week trip across japan, which was pretty outrageous even for my own standards. i'm still kind of surprised i pulled it off with minimal curveballs.

did a whole lot of random stuff during that trip, but it involved a good bit of walking, cycling, and even one part hiking (with the aid of a ropeway).

i cant say that my japanese was the strongest, but it was generally enough for me to understand what the other party was saying, and get things done like sending my luggage across.

this was pretty much a once-in-a-lifetime type of trip that i'll miss doing (and even if i could, i'm not sure if i'll still be in good shape to pull off such a trip again).

this trip also blew quite a large hole in my pocket, but it was worrrrth it for the experience. 

well, better get to saving more again.

 ---

on the job front, i suppose its status quo where i am; not great, but not terrible either.

as sad the reality is, the only reasonable means for a pay bump is to keep hopping.

at the same time, it feels like i'm stuck in a rut too so as to speak. its like... i'm not getting better or improving personally in terms of technical knowledge.

i intend to find a new job/career after i get my bonus, but the question is ... to where?

dont really know where to jump, and also there's concern on whether the workplace is equal, or hopefully better than what i have right now (with that work from home benefit once a week).

i guess taking the first step, and breaking that inertia is the most important step after all.

---

piano wise, still grinding; though i should probably start making attempts to finish up grade 8.

did bought a few random piano books in my japan trip so that would be something to tide me through.

---

i should make more concrete strides into doing my jlpt and finishing up python.

its like starting something but not finishing it - its reaaaaaalllly fucking annoying (at least to me).

---

i'll blog a little bit on the japan part since thats the main highlight.

if i were to characterize the highlights in the trip, it would be as follow:

1. i managed to try out the remaining sleeper train service in japan from tokyo to takamatsu via the sunrise seto! that was certainly something; the bed was mid but for the experience i suppose it was fun. probably wont do it again lol [in terms of pricing it was more expensive than a standard business hotel, but i suppose the cost lumps the cost of transport + cost of accommodation into one; when viewed from that lens it actually feels palatable.] 

2. did a minor hike up mount tsurugi. i was expecting late autumn in the mountains overlooking iya valley, but i certainly did not expect it to be full blown snow. there were so many times along the hike where i wanted to turn back out of safety, but out of pure stubborness and recklessness i managed to went all the way up under biting wind and sleet conditions. that certainly was an experience.

3. cycling across the shimanami kaido. fell twice (!) and almost got into a car accident but thankfully its japan so i got lucky on that front. nearly kneecapped myself as well. but it was an enjoyable island hopping adventure lasting >70km.

4. trying out the different scenic trains across different prefectures. each has its own distinctive features and motifs that allow it to stand out from one another, and the view outside makes each train a different experience.

5. ... just the overall solo travel experience is just a unique breath of fresh air; that freedom to switch plans on a dime is something that i'll never forget (at least with regards to traveling in japan).

---

well, lets go for 2024!

and so, we approach the end of yet another year.

---

well i should get this out of the way right at the start, i finally completed my masters!

with the start of 2022 it also marks the final semester for me. i had that same odd tinge of loss i experienced when i first completed my bachelors back in 2016. its kinda like reaching the final chapter of a book - while i'm happy that there's closure and i can move on to the next, i'm also sad that the story and its cast of characters are also concluding too, as crappy a comparison that may be.

lessons were still conducted via zoom, but part of me feels like i missed out on the personal interaction with others, as much as i abstain from it. 

generally, the modules taken this time round were wildcards. while not directly relevant to work, but are still neat to know like emergency response and ISO standards etc.

and i suppose the real surprise was twofold: a. somehow an award was established for an outgoing/retiring professor midway through the semester, and b. by sheer luck, i got it. sure, the amount received is not enough to cover even one semester's worth of tuition fees, but considering that i didnt take this masters for the sole purpose of the award, you know what? ill take it no question asked. 

i have to admit, im still kinda floored that i actually clinched it. 

another unexpected outcome was that i also didnt expect to have a dinner invitation with the department head either and other guests (which somehow my parents were invited too) after commencement. that dinner itself felt like a whos' who of reputable individuals in their own fields; i suppose that gives me something to work towards, if nothing else. maybe a job change is in the cards?

moving on, i have already made a request to join in a module this coming january as a guest visitor; i suppose one indirect benefit out of all these is that i've established relations with the department coordinator professor which is never a bad thing. 

after all, its impossible to tell who i'll cross path again with in the future; i've already have my fair share of deja vu ever since i graduated, and i dont see how this will cease anytime soon.

---

also, i'll chalk this up to pure luck, but shortly after graduating, in MOE's infinite wisdom, the tuition fee subsidy for the masters course was halted by the government, and any poor sods who are doing it now will have to pay a cool 9k per semester (!) compared to the ~2.5k that i was subjected to just a year ago.

there was an article in the newspaper stating the government's stance that a master's is meant to be a luxury and also that its also part of cost cutting/saving/(insert cost benefit analysis equivalent term here). personally, im not sure whats the exact % of locals taking up masters, though my personal guess is that its not really a large size such that cutting them out would yield significant cost savings. 

but what do i know right?

sometimes, i think i lucked out making the decision to take this up in 2020.

---

also on the work front, the company moved to labrador park at the tail end of the year.

still the same company as before mind you, but somehow the rationale for moving was for 'prestige' reasons, in the "oh wow your company is taking on prime property, it must be a reputable company --> we can entrust this company with this high value project" line of thought. 

... while i personally dont agree with such a basis and such a thought kinda sickens me, its not for me to decide (duh), and on second thoughts i can see how some may come to such a conclusion. if it was up to me, i would rather boost internal capabilities first before considering a cosmetic upgrade in workplace location.

guess im not cut out for management huh? ha ha ha.

that aside, its a slight improvement in travel time, though ill have to make more train transfers. its a minor pet peeve, but still.

also, in terms of food selection, it feels like a slight downgrade with a reduction in total amount of food choices, and there's also an appreciable increase in cost as well. 

all in all, i suppose its a slight improvement, though it aint perfect by any means.

---

a major project (~$100m) concluded this year. i suppose thats like the major highlight in my time here.

granted, i wasnt the lead for the project, but its pretty cool to work on it. there was a lot of unforeseen situations though which i would had never envisioned at any point along the project, but hey, i suppose thats one way of learning, albeit painful.

---

parents and the maid had covid sometime during the latter half of the year. given that i still live with them, it would had been reasonable to assume that i contracted covid too.

oddly, i did not (!) in spite of daily testing, and i still went to work as usual. fortunately, all three seem to do relatively well with no major symptoms nor long term effects.

i often joke that i either have covid and i am asymptomatic, or that i've been coasting on whatever little luck i have to avoid getting it. to be honest though, i have no idea which is correct lol.

---

with covid measures tapering down, i decide to attend orchestras in person at the esplanade, first of which was krystian zimerman. there's a definite difference between hearing a recording on it on youtube, versus listening in person in the esplanade.

that reverb and acoustics is something that can only be experienced in person, and words fail me on how best to describe it. its kinda along the lines of 'seeing is believing', or in this case, hearing is believing.

the boom from the timpani, the music from the strings/woodwind, those are experiences to be had in person. kinda glad to experience that first-hand.

---

another round of cycling at the end of the year. this time round cycled with a colleague around downtown, hitting notable landmarks such as the railway corridor (at the halfway point at queenstown), marina bay sands, east coast park, the f1 pitstop etc. clocked a good 60km approximately. 

one unfortunate part was falling off the bike in the middle of the rain, near the CBD district. while i did sustained a minor cut on the right leg, i did not experience any significant pain.

... well, not until several days later where i saw a fair bit of bruising along the thigh. oof. 

though fortunately, again, they were not causing significant pain to my day-to-day movement so i just brushed it aside.

---

as embarrassing as this may be, i realize that i'm actually starting to experience hair thinning/balding to some extent. while still in its infancy stage, i kinda noticed that only recently.

i have already sought medical help for it though; hope the medication works!

that said, i recognize that its just an inevitable aspect of ageing; its also a timely reminder that i'm not as young as i wish. 

in any case, not much i can do apart from accepting it, or maybe... just ageing gracefully? ha.

---

i also recently tried bouldering as a casual sport.

sometime in the middle of the year i saw that there was a bouldering gym(?) near my home so i decided to saunter over there and give it a try. i gave it a grand total of two tries this year so far (cue applause). to be fair, i only started sometime in october.

the first time i tried, i ended with a fair bit of cuts, blisters and bruises on my fingers and legs. big ouch, with the pain only subsiding one week after.

the routes were divided into varying difficulties, with 1 being the easiest/elementary and 10 being the hardest. i could only manage up to 3 on my first go but it was pretty fun. 

second time round, and i manage to ramp up to 3/4. this time though, i came slightly more prepared with gloves and some chalk (though its pointless to have the chalk if im already wearing gloves since hand sweat is kept contained within the gloves).

the odd thing is that i realize essentially no one else uses gloves while climbing. i suppose thats for the more... authentic bouldering experience, or that bare hands + chalk provides a better grip than with gloves, i dont know. but i would happily take a reduced probability of hand/finger injury over the real/authentic experience anytime.

also, i think i prefer my digits intact while doing piano too so thats that too. ha.

i look forward to doing bouldering as a part time sport in 2023 (assuming that that gym doesnt close down by then lol).

---

i'm learning python on the sidelines via datacamp (thanks NUS for the subsidized cost!). though i gotta say that i'm kinda behind schedule since i've started in june but i've left it on the sidelines until recently, and i got to complete it by this coming june(!) with only like 30% done. procrastination is one hell of a drug isnt it? 

---

making slow but steady progress for grade 8 piano. one major issue i'm experiencing is the lack of mental stamina/fortitude to do them in a single sitting.

i have to admit, doing 4x 3-5minute pieces consecutively is rather draining. nevertheless, still enjoyable.

also trying out random pieces from ryuichi sakamoto and joe hisaishi to break the tedium.

i find that ryuichi's railway man is a pretty haunting/memorable piece overall. its an old piece originating from one old japanese film in the 90s from hokkaido, but the tune is still timeless.

---

well, with 2023 i really should consider a career change, if not for the moolah, then for greater progression. 

i ought to leverage on the masters if nothing else. well, a critical decision looms and i'll have to make a choice real soon.

if i somehow manage to find an escape plan, then i'll go on a one month solo travel in japan. 

---

2023 beckons, and while i have my own set of doubts and fear, there's little merit in hesitating.

lets go gary.

here it is, another year to chronicle.

i guess for some it seems kinda formulaic or boring to keep blogging about trite matters, but i suppose it is nice to look back at those posts and remind myself what has been done thus far. its like putting a yardstick on the ground and comparing against previous years as a form of progression/sanity check.

to be honest i usually only write this post hours before the end of the year as a 'forced' form of recollection and not go on a rambling tirade, because if i wanted to document every single happening throughout the year it will never end. ha ha ha.

---

lets start with work.

i think it was ok in general, though there were occasional tense moments.

a downside of dealing with multiple projects is that there's so many items going in parallel which tends to split my focus and kind of affect how much time i can devote to, and the quality/accuracy of the work i provide. given that each project is unique with its own specific issues, i got to admit it does take its toll when i keep switching my reference frames/basis etc.

maybe thats just the nature of the job as i continue to progress along this line.

there were quite a number of people moving on from the company which makes me think whether the market is really that good outside, or rather there were other extenuating circumstances behind the move. to be fair, there were a few recruiters on linkedin but i'm also partially wary of having another job of the same exact role. also, i got to admit that a direct client-facing role can be rather exhausting.

i would like to try a slightly different role rather than doing something that is exactly the same again.

well i suppose now is a good time as any to see how the market is doing before making the next move. gotta dust off the resume after years and years of neglect.

also, after writing this post i think i need to lay the groundwork for some number crunching calculations etc.

kinda mixed on having to resume back to 50% office 50% home from next year/week on, i'm too spoilt by the current setting of WFH.

---

continuing from last year, two semesters worth of masters.

with covid becoming a regular fixture, all lessons continue to be online. still feels like a double edged sword, trading off physical networking/class learning for webcast/time saved on travelling etc. i cant complain that the timed saved from travelling is indeed a major plus given that i've been working for the most part at home.

another key difference is that most of the modes of assessment are remote (because they cant possibly get 50+ individuals to be stuffed within a single room and fill in sheets of blank paper within 2/3 hours, and risk getting wrecked by the authorities); in lieu of written exams it became online tests and end module assessment/term papers. the only exception was one particular module which insisted on a physical in-person exam which coincidentally, was the same room was one of the final modules that i've taken as an undergrad. time flies, does it not?

does feel weird to take a written exam after graduating years ago. but at the same time, it feels just like yesterday. still did well enough so i suppose its all good.

for the other aspect, i find that term papers are actually more intense than a written paper in the sense that quite a good bit of effort is required to research and trying to distill the information into a cogent argument. the good thing i can say in favor of term papers as an assessment tool is that rote memorization is off the window (because seriously, this isnt primary/secondary school for goodness sake), and as a more application/practice type of module it makes more sense to create some case study and from there apply said knowledge into resolving that particular issue.

i wager i spend perhaps double, or triple the preparation time necessary to do a term paper compared to say a physical, written final exam. though i would say that i do like term papers more than a written exam.

to the module contents themselves, in the first half i took modules that were relevant to my job like say functional safety etc, which were awfully technical; without access to international design standards i would had been toast.

the second half was essentially crossing the other side to industrial hygiene and taking seemingly random modules such as radiation safety which to be honest is rather enjoyable as a general knowledge type of module; at least you know where and how to make a dirty bomb! (i jest, please do not detain me under ISD)

all in all, i enjoyed the modules.

one more semester to go though before it finishes, which i suppose neatly ties in to finding another job  after graduation (maybe more demanding/better compensation?).

---

did i mention that i have accidentally injured my finger while trying to maintain my bike?

was trying to fix the bike chain which had came loose somehow, though it was in tension and as a result, the bike chain whiplashed against my little finger which caused some pain/bruising.

oddly enough, that pain didnt subside after weeks and it was only after some MRI scan that the ligament didnt heal properly. the first doctor had proposed surgery to repair the ligament though there was the risk of scarring/imperfection and quite a lengthy period of rehab (~2-4 months, well not THAT long compared to other types of surgery but still quite long)

mom suggested seeking second opinion from a doctor that she has worked with, whom proposed some steroid jab to to dull the pain as a first resort. fortunately, it seems like its working.

while the effect requires at least a month to work, three weeks in and it seems to be working well, with almost no pain experienced on my finger during bending moments.

guess this is a sobering reminder that i am ageing, for better or for worse.

---

i've also cleared grade 7 for both theory and practical.

lets start with theory. had to sit with a bunch of teenagers and the odd (relatively young, i wager around my age) adult in those conference rooms in suntec city. as if i needed any more reminder on how old i am now ha ha.

to be honest, didnt really prepare too much for it (if i recall correctly i had a module test the day before) but i scrapped a merit so lol. oddly enough, the section that i wasnt expecting to do well apparently did so well and vice versa.

for practical, i decided to take the performance grade route i.e. just record 4 pieces and send over for grading. seems easy on the surface, though it masks the repeated filming/taping attempts after each minor cock-up which does make things quite difficult when you have to film those 4 pieces in a single recording. its a pretty time consuming endeavor, i reckon spending almost 2 months worth of weekends just to get a decent recording up. all in all, still did pretty good too so no complains there.

moving onwards, it seems like i'm nearing the end with grade 8. the pieces are looooooooong but i do enjoy them so it doesnt feel like a chore.

also been trying to play some experimental pieces as well, which are more modern in terms of composition style, and just as melodic as classical style music.

if nothing else i suppose going for piano was a good choice made back at the start of uni. its a pretty low maintenance hobby and is fun.

---

i regret to inform that i've placed JLPT at the backburner again due to masters, but i commit to throwing myself to formal classes probably from the 2nd half of the year to finish N3. though i suspect i'll need quite a fair bit of bridging classes in order to relearn what i've forgetton years ago, especially those on grammar/sentence structures etc.

sometimes, all you need is some form of 'structure'/motivation in order to see things to fruition.

also, while i managed to crash course myself through python through eldin's mod, i would also want to formalize my learning through AI4I (? or that is what i think that program is called under NUS) for good measure.

so many things to learn, so little time (or rather how not to spend too much time gaming and prioritize more on learning).

---

i bought a switch (finally, after almost a year of deliberation).

having fun with breath of the wild, guess the comparison with skyrim was pretty legit, though i do have qualms about the equipment breaking aspect which is sort of annoying but it does encourage weapon cycling (what fun is it to stick to the same equipment until an upgrade comes along?) which i ... sort of can understand though i dont fully agree.

looking forward to rune factory 5 when it releases.

---

as a continuation from last year, brother's (actual sit-down dinner) wedding at raffles hotel.

... the food was pretty good, the wedding itself was short and sweet (by wedding standards); can't ask for anything better for that.

---

spent some of my leave to clean my room.

i suppose part of marie kondo's lesson rubbed off me; it feels kind of cathartic to clean my desktop (including the internal components/fans etc) as well as the room in general. its mindblowing how much dust accumulates within a single year!

those dust bunnies sure are pesky aint it?

also took the time to cycle around singapore with a friend. was pretty exhausting covering ~60km but it was also refreshing at the same time.

---

i think i have made this declaration two years ago before covid hit in full force, but i think now is a good time as any to push myself for a harder/more rewarding role.

financially wise i think i'm comfortable with my allocation between government bonds and international ETF, though it would be good to explore alternative mechanisms such as options. after all, i'm playing the long game so i'm not too fuzzed about 420-tier profits.

... maybe just a dip in the crypto/ETH pool? 

---

well, lets make good use of 2022 gary.

it wont be as long as you think it is so better maximize your time while you can!

nobody really expect the year to pan out this way, but hey there's still a blog for me to complete for the year so here it is.

---

so obviously, the elephant in the room is covid and the impact it has to daily life etc etc.

i count myself lucky that my own lifestyle has largely remain the same, with no impact financially and being able to ~90% of what i would had done pre-covid. can't say the same for quite a number of people who had lost their jobs and having to face quite a good bit of hardship.

of particular, i do wonder how those interns who are graduating this year are fairing, hopefully they've managed to secure a job or an internship to tide through this trying times.

though, i would think that i'm still not out of the woods yet -  there's always that possibility of a second round of recession, and with the economy likely to be sluggish/nascent it would be premature to say that i'll escape unscathed as before. 

---

work-wise, it was ok, even for the working from home aspect during the circuit breaker, and the alternate work-week arrangement during phase 2.

i've actually intended to move on to another company this year until covid kinda wrecked that plan (spoilers: you're going to see an inordinate amount of covid being mentioned in this post).

but not all is lost however; i've decided to take this downtime to further pursue a masters.

is this what it feels like to have a mid life crisis?

---

i suppose some of the things i do miss is to head to the gym and use the equipment; those tools are not something i'll buy and store at home [although i did buy a yoga mat and ball to tide through during circuit breaker, that was a pretty good investment all things considered.]

also, ill concede that the initial tracetogether/checking-in etc is a bit of a bother but i have been accustomed to it. 

ah, and also running too - just to minimize contact with others (which admittedly i've been doing so for a good deal pre-covid), i've limited my runs to late night (2200h+). i got to admit, i really like running at night more than i expected; its pretty cathartic. i've build up proficiency in cycling during this period - even cycling for ~50km along changi/east coast!

when the initial circuit breaker period hit in late march/early april, the pc tower from office had to be lugged back home. i still remember dropping the tower and causing a crack on the casing as the it was raining particularly hard during that day, and i slipped and fell. that doesn't feel all that great. reported that to the IT guy but i doubt that it is something that he can physically fix. fortunately, there wasn't any damage to the motherboard nor any of the internal components, so i guess i'll thank my lucky stars for that.

it feels kinda weird to be working from home during that period, but if there is any silver lining to this pandemic, i suppose its great in the sense that i dont have to spend ~2h daily on travel.

---

also, i took another module with the 'free' L3 alumnus voucher during the first half of the year, which started off as a physical in-person lecture and transitioned to webcasting end-march prior to the circuit breaker announcement. got to admit, taking exams online does feel rather surreal in the sense that there's... almost no sense of pressure. 

its not that i hate taking online exams; on the contrary, online exams are to my advantage since i can type way faster than writing anyway. gotta feel sorry for those who aren't exactly fast at typing.

anyway, the prof was pretty cool, and i do appreciate the industrial insights and live demonstrations.

don't really feel like SEO baiting with the module codes this time round, so i'll omit mentioning them.

---

and with this covid issue, i suppose its a good time as any to continue pursuing a masters.

in my mind there was three possible paths to take: either a chem eng masters, or a HSE masters, or data science/statistics. the first is pretty obvious, but i reckon that there wasn't much value add to be had by taking it. data science is cool and all but it would be suicide to take it without in depth knowledge on the languages (C#, python and the works). so i settled on HSE. still relevant to work though, but at least its a bit of a different fork to just chem eng stuff. gotta diversify man!

took another 2 modules for the second half of the year. also webcasted since congregation in campus isnt a sound idea in the middle of a pandemic. and exam's online too, just like before.

here's to another ... 1.5 years of part time studying as of this post.

---

i still managed to attend an orchestra by joe hisaishi in february prior to the entire world going belly up in march/april.

it was my first personal experience attending a live orchestra and i got to admit, i really liked it a lot (although i paid a pretty penny for the seat). the sound, reverbs etc are something i dont think cant be replicated at home.

when things do resume, i would like to attend more where possible.

---

also, previously i did mentioned that i've received an award from a japanese research publication on a paper that i've written previously.

with covid popping up, it was inevitable that it was cancelled. back then i was still hoping to attend it (and also take a short vacation break for the first time since i've started working; hell, i've even planned out the vacation routing and booked tickets for the ghibli tickets!) but given how things have panned out, i guess it was good that it was cancelled since things really went south reaaaaal fast in april/may.

i still have my dollars with SQ though, havent requested for a refund since i would still like to travel eventually and i dont really have a pressing need for the money back. if nothing else, it gives me a reason to actually take a holiday break.

i'm cool with waiting until this pandemic blows over (assuming that it really does).

... hopefully it does, but there's that sinking feeling that i've better gird myself for something worse.

---

brother's wedding took place in november at raffles hotel.

there were quite a fair bit of limitations imposed (e.g. =<50pax guests, no sit-down meals etc) but i suppose it was good that it went without a hitch, and also uneventfully.

reflecting on it... i really still like the solo life though. besides, i'm probably too eccentric/random in nature to deal with anyway.

goodness, that was such an off-tangent isnt it? heh.

---

moving forward, given that i'll have to juggle my masters with work, its likely to set back other developments that i had in mind, such as continuing N3 and honing python/C#. 

but i'll still be pushing for grade 7 piano as soon as practical sessions are permitted in singapore. i kinda still want to push to grade 8 eventually though as a personal target although it may not be practical to do so.

so many things, so little time. time is such a fleeting concept isnt it?

---

here's to another year - better make use of the time!

in line with tradition, here i am once again.

not sure what's really driving me to do this time and time again, but i suppose it is nice to memoralize them in stone (i.e. the internet).

after all, the internet never forgets now, does it?

---

job wise, i think it was ok.

granted, i got a promotion (kind of overdue with a pay increment to compensate for the last two year's worth of stagnation, but i digress), but there were so many mistakes that i've made which i personally regret.

we can do the entire song and dance about how to err is to human and so and so forth, but you'll find that there really isn't much of a margin for error during work. you just have one shot to get it right, or face the ire of your client(s).

i dont intend to dramatize this point; i believe that this is true for every other jobs out there. but sometimes it just flies in the face of vox populi that advocates for acceptance of failure etc.

its not that i'm pessimistic, rather, it's just disappointing to commit errors which are obvious, or have been made known earlier ahead of time.granted, i'm no CEO or a high key person, but sometimes it does give me pause when i think about what i should had done to avert/sidestep the problem moving on.

i don't really want to rationalize/self-justify my own failings either; an error is an error no matter the circumstances, and it warrants some self reflection.

i still feel like there is just way too many things i'm nowhere as competent as i want to be, or where i need to be. kind of sucks, isnt it?

i guess the only easy day was yesterday eh.

---

this year itself was a milestone for my job, in the sense that i've managed to see through a project from start to end, lasting for almost 3 full years.

guess its just the nature of this job.

there's so much highs and lows, to the point that i'm not sure if its good or bad that its over.

additionally, the project that i took over from someone else has more or less been seen through to its fruition.

thats one item checked off my personal bucket list in this job.

been receiving quite a number of cold calls off linkedin from headhunters, but i've been holding them off just to finish a single project.perhaps its time to take a career move more seriously next year onwards.

i'm pretty sure i made that call in last year's post...

---

on the academic front (!), i took the decision to utilize the free module from NUS to pursue a single module on industrial safety (SH5002, SEO here we go, clickbaiting at its finest).

its a nice return back to academia after 3 years of hiatus. granted, its just a single module, but i would like to think of it as a warmup. still did surprisingly okay (an A, i apologize to those full time masters students for ruining the bell curve)

met some new individuals in other parts of the industries (and especially individuals from MOM, NEA since after all industrial safety is part of their jobscope). its a pretty nice avenue for networking, if nothing else. module is generally OK, although i could have swore that part of the content was already covered in CN3135. appreciated the local regulation/context though, coming from a lecturer from MOM itself (!).

the nice part about this gig is that because they're transitioning from the old alumni scheme to the new lifelong learning scheme, i get to double dip and study two modules for free just for this academic year only (!).

that translates to basically $10k SGD worth of savings (5k per module, goodness)

... being the cheapskate that i am, i've exercised my right to double dip and take another module in january (on gas detectors mapping etc - seemingly random topic but oddly very, very relevant to a high key project that i'm involved).

the nice part about this entire situation is that i can still deliberate on pursuing a HSE masters, or a chem eng masters, since both modules that i take are on a graded basis, and are stackable to either masters.

kind of sucks that there exists no subsidies or scholarships on a part time basis (rationale being that part time studies are already earning via their job and should be able to pay on their own after factoring in government subsidies), but i can't really argue with that logic.

through this single module i have newfound appreciation for individuals pursuing part-time studies after work. it is tiring. goodness, imagine finishing classes at 9, and reaching home only at 10+ only to wake up again at 6 the next day.

i personally cannot imagine taking 2+ modules per semester on a part-time basis. it is potentially soul-crushingly exhausting. imagine having a wife and/or a child to take care of on top of your work commitment.

i can see why not many people would want to pursue one. besides, just like a bachelor's, a master's is still NOT the golden ticket for future job progression.

i guess i'm in it for the pursuit of knowledge. extra dosh is nice though, dont get me wrong.

---

also, in 3 years worth of absence from NUS, there has been one hell of a change going on.

EA is fully air conditioned now, and good news cafe has been replaced with a spinelli! i regret to report that a cup of mocha spin is what i need to motivate me to go to classes every week. this habit of mine burns a cool $6 a week.

they tore down the canteen for engineering as well, so rip macdonalds, the japanese food store and the soya bean store.

apparently they're also upgrading the central library and the large co-op is gone. rip browsing for books until 2021 (?).

--

decided to watch the solar eclipse on the 26th at NUS. i got to admit, it was my first time heading to the open field besides the running track (i've never stepped foot on it during undergraduate times).

incidentally on leave, and i also had to go to NUS to extend my student card for next semester, so might as well i guess.

i really appreciated getting free solar filters from the physics department.

the view is actually pretty breathtaking, and it does give you a new perspective on astronomy (to compliment what little knowledge i had from the elective module on understanding the universe).

kind of funny to see hundreds of people in the field cursing or jeering at the clouds for blocking the view though. kind of reminds me of that simpson comic snippet with the caption "OLD MAN YELLS AT CLOUD", magnified x1000.

---

several months ago, i received an email from an journal editor (who oddly also works in the same company as i am, only in japan side).

apparently, the paper got nominated for some award and there is an invitation to me and my professor for a presentation slated in march . i got to admit, that is one hell of a random event. the paper was already published in 2018, and i didnt expect much out of it thereafter.

the downside is that either NUS or i have to fork out the air tickets and accommodation to osaka, and i'm not really counting on the former.

to be honest, i'm cool with going on my own dime. the best case scenario is i get to network, and learn more from other academic researchers. worse case? i'll just take it as a vacation to explore kyoto, tottori and hyogo.

having went there as part of my graduation trip previously, i'm kind of familiar with the area still so i dont foresee any significant problem solo travelling.

...i could use an excuse to go on vacation after not going for one in 3+ years.

coincidentally, my part-time return to NUS also gives me access to the HPC once again, allowing me to do some ansys shenanigans for the next 6 months. neat!

---

cleared grade 6 practical in the early half of the year.

funny enough, it was an improvement of +2 from grade 5, score wise. was expecting to crash and burn hard, but apparently, that didnt happen. cue sigh of relief.

well, onwards to grade 7. still on schedule i guess, given that i intend to clear 8 but i foresee that the difficulty is going to be exponential.

on the plus side, grade 7 pieces are generally enjoyable. the rag piece is particular enjoyable.

most likely will pursue both theory and practical in the latter half of 2020, but we'll see how things go.

---

also, i bought a new electric piano!

its no steinway and sons, but this nifty yamaha clp645 is a significant step up from the keyboard that i've been using for the past 8 years.

it just feels so much different in terms of the touch, and the sound it generates.

the touch and feel of a wooden key is incomparable with a plastic key. additionally, the sound generated from the new piano is ... more richer and clearer relative to the keyboard.

i guess i'll make that same comparison if i ever transit to a full blown acoustic grand piano (ha ha ha, a pipe dream, but one worth working towards).

---

i also decided to seek a swimming instructor to teach me the fundamentals of freestyle and butterfly strokes.

guess after ~8-9 years of casual breaststrokes, i'm just looking to try new stuff out.

technically i've already completed the fundamentals, but i suspect it will take a while before i'm actually competent in these two strokes and can fully complement into my weekly swimming regiment. currently, i'm only managing half to one lap worth of freestyle/butterfly before tiring out and giving up.

i believe that with continuous weekly practice, i'll be more competent at it.

i guess i'm glad to find a suitable instructor that is willing to show the ropes. granted, it costs a pretty penny but money well spent i guess.



---

JLPT-wise, because of all those happenings above, has taken a back seat, and i regret that minimal progress has been made.

in fact, i'm still lagging on tobira. its taking me 1-2 months (of pure causal time) to finish a chapter, and there's 15 chapters.

unlike genki, tobira is a significant difficulty spike and i cannot blaze through as easily as i did with genki previously.

i might consider pursuing external studies at a language center in the latter half of the year, if i do not intend to immediately follow up with a part time masters.

it does provide me another tangible target to work towards.

additionally, i really should consider finding a japanese pen pal to improve my conversational skill as well. after all, language isn't something you can just study in isolation.






---

also, got a free bike (worth ~300$ when new) from one of my friends since he had to make way for a new one.

got to admit, i still suck at cycling, but i've managed to cycle from home to east coast and coney island without screwing too much up (if it can even be screwed up in the first place).

with a 'new' bike it does open some new possibilities, such as cycling to bedok reservoir and running thereafter, etc etc.

who knew that cycling could be a viable alternative for close distance travelling?

[i know, i know, this does make me look a simpleton but hey, i'm cool with being one.]



---

there's also a lot of happenings as well for others around.

some are getting married, some are already having their second child (!) and some are already moving further up in the world.

brother's formally getting married next year as well.

to be honest, while it is nice to find someone that i can connect with, i personally like just chilling on my own too. if nothing else, all these events spur me to work harder as well, and explore new avenues.

2020 - the year of exploration/spirit of YOLO!

---

books wise, still reading a good deal of them on the train.

my shelf is already currently on the verge of overloading and pruning may be necessary by the end of next year.

goodness, bought nearly 5-6 books off from kinokuniya's 20% discount during christmas!

i've continued to weave more fiction books into the reading pool aside from the typical fields that i like to read, for instance history, self-help, philosophy and 'pseudo' economics (think freakonomics).

also, still continuing the cat streak with more cat books e.g. if cats disappeared from the world and the guest cat, but personally i still prefer the travelling cat chronicles however. story's more gripping.

---

i admit that there were moments where i feel kind of hollow. like i have nothing to show for my work, or no major milestone/achievement.

but such thoughts are often dashed when i inundate myself in work and stuff to do.

depression? i dont think so, its just that i feel that so much more can be done, but unfortunately so little has been done.

whatever i guess, i'll just have to pick myself up and surge forward.

---


there is so much things to be done, but so little time to execute them all.

with that in mind, lets go gary, and make 2020 even more fruitful than 2019. the time to push is now!
 

another year, another post.

lets roll.

----

job-wise, it's okay.

this year was kind of topsy-turvy in terms of staff turnover, with my senior engineer leaving for a client-side company (and very likely in a better state), leaving me to basically cover the remainder of the project on my own. brings a whole new meaning to the term accelerated learning.



can't say that i'm a fan on how he was treated prior to his departure.

there has been quite a fair amount of colleagues who have also left for greener pastures, while there is also an influx of new people in too. it feels... different, as nebulous as that sounds.

there has also been quite a fair bit of hiccups over the year for several projects, mostly due to change in requirements from client-side, but at least the delay isnt attributed to me.


sometime near the fourth quarter of the year, i got thrust into a new project, and with it, a (sudden) business trip to malaysia. (of all places right? jokes aside, its just that people generally associate malaysia with leisure/play, rather than work but i digress)

granted, the trip was not really long (about 3-4 days), but it was semi-nerve wrecking in the sense that i was the only process representative, and having only been into the project with less than 1 month, my knowledge of the project is unmistakably shoddy.

all things considered, i guess it went fine; it could have gone pear-shaped rather easily i guess.

having only set foot in malaysia previously during primary school times, it was an interesting experience nevertheless (it probably sounds rather inane to the typical person, who has gone over countless times for shopping, etc).

i would personally think of malaysia as time-warping back to singapore in the early 90s, with roadside zichar stalls with wooden decor, accompanied by mongrels eyeing for food laid on the table.

that said, the place that i went to was pretty modern by malaysia's standard, with macdonalds, kenny rogers and starbucks no further than five minutes' walk from the hotel/service apartment. goodness though, the pricing is almost no different from singapore (~18ringgit for a mocha cappuccino, ~15 ringgit for a mcwings set). if i only used starbucks and macdonalds as a basis for cost comparison, i would had thought that 1 ringgit = 1 singapore dollar.

food's alright by my standard, kind of liked the kampung fried rice with those ikan billis.

---

next year will likely to be a pivotal year for me, as i will have to decide whether i shall continue along this career path, or swap to an alternative option.

3 years of working experience is kind of the threshold between an 'experienced' individual and 'fresh graduate'; once you exceed that time, you'll find that many graduate programs/scholarships will no longer consider you.

frankly speaking, i think i'm ok with the current job where i am.

but, being contented frankly should not be the goal here - i need to push, and advance further. to be contented is simply to accept and maintain status quo, which feels like a death knell to any career progression.

besides, the remuneration isn't that hot either, and i've been chided by my friends (quite fairly too) for settling for such a level.

its funny, isn't it? two and a half years ago, i've wrestled with this same problem on what career path/industry to choose.

the only difference this time now is that i have nothing to lose by trying.


---

well, i've prepped my resume again to include new stuff.

now to see it through and formulate cover letters.

---

i've managed to clear my JLPT N4 qualification last year, just a bit of margin above the passing grade.

not pretty, but i'll have to settle for that, considering that i had to juggle with that sudden performance test run at that point in time.

i've since tried to study for N3, but unfortunately i've made minimal headways on it. originally wanted to take the N3 exam this december, but i'll probably have to settle for 2019 december instead.

i've got a long ways to go to improve my japanese grammar if i want to forge upwards.

speaking of which, i need to push myself to find some sort of a native japanese penpal to converse in japanese to improve on it.

i can kind of get the gist of some japanese technical documentation (albeit in a VERY limited capacity), but it is good to have some sort of conversational capacity.

guess that is one of the major flaws in self-studying a language - such a 'live' skill can never be truly honed unless utilized on other people.

---

at the same time, i've also cleared grade 6 theory for piano.

didn't do too bad, although every segment had a bit of error here and there, which accumulated and ultimately leading to just a pass grade. talk about death by a thousand cuts!

started work on grade 7, but goodness that difficulty spike is noticable.

well, i'm not going to shy away from it but this will take a while.

will be doing practical in a few months time, not sure how it will work out, but i'll do whatever i can to enjoy the process at least.

off-topic, but i really, really want to get a full-fledged digital piano but i dont have the space in the room to house it. zzz.

additionally, i've started trying several non-classical pieces, mainly those from i am setsuna (いけにえと雪のセツナ) as well as granblue fantasy. the former has a rather sombre mode, while the latter has a more calming, relaxing tone to it.

thats part of the fun isn't it, to play tunes that you like.

---

i finally started doing investments, with an initial allotment into the government's saving bonds, one singapore-based etf, and one developed economy-based etf.

etfs wise, both took a rather hard hit a few days ago due to jitters from trump and the us/china economy, but i'm confident that the fundamentals are still there, and find no reason to bolt.

i'm probably overweighted in saving bonds, but given the existing volatility in the market, i'm cool with it.

on the plus side, my exposure is also largely mitigated with dollar-cost averaging, so i dont really need time the market, but the past few days have made me pause temporarily.

small steps, they are. but they are no doubt invaluable steps in this long haul.

and i'm in it for the long, loooooooooooong haul.

---

my manuscript got finally published!

its currently in a japanese-based journal, and although the impact factor pales in comparison to top-tier chemical engineering journals such as AiChE, i'm cool with it as my first publication.

i mean, i wasn't even expecting one to begin with, so any publication is a bonus.

my thanks to my professor who had seen it through all these time.

---

i've been also trying to push my physical fitness too this year.

typically, during my weekly swim i usually do 20 laps (20 x 50m) and call it a day. however, over the course of several months, i've been ramping up gradually, culminating in 30 laps within an hours time.

i wonder if i can try to push to 40 laps in one sitting, but goodness, by the 25th or 26th lap things start to get rather dicey.

guess thats one tangible sign of ageing huh, gary?

running wise, i've hovering between 12.5~13 minutes, and am trying to push for 12 minutes, but this is even more of a struggle than swimming, ha.

---

through this year, i've been reading a bunch of books on the train.

i've also started tossing fiction books into the pool as well, and there were two of them which deserves commendation as follow:

1. travelling cat chronicles (hiro arikawa)
2. confessions (kanae minato)

they were rather enjoyable short reads, and i'm glad i've added fiction books in the mix.

for non-fiction, there was a book published by a construction worker which provided insight on the live of a construction worker, and their plights. title's 'stranger to myself: diary of a bangladeshi in singapore' by sharif uddin.

sometimes, you're oblivious to one's troubles and worries until you're exposed to it.

that said, my overall diet still revolves around non-fiction, and i dont think i'll dive into 'deep' fiction anytime soon.

i kind of liked reading marie kondo's book on cleaning up, and reading it gave me that impetus to re-evaluate my position on life/career.

why keep things when they dont spark joy/happiness?
---

so yes, in essence, 2018 feels rather mediocre.

it could had been better, but i count my lucky stars on the n+1 ways things could go wrong.

to put things simply, i need to push, and see things through to completion, and enjoying the process.

lets charge forward, gary to another year!

another year comes to a close.

there's quite a lot of things to be typed (my first instinct was to use penned but hey, there's no ink being used here), so here goes.

---

lets start off with work happenings.

at the start of the year, the company outsourced me (and a few others) to a client company to assist with some of their works.

the person in charge was... erratic to put it mildly. partly because we were paid on a per hour basis as a consultant (i assume that it is not cheap), as time goes by his requests/demands became increasingly difficult to fulfill, or that it changes at a whim, leaving most of our prepared work to waste.

all these came to a head, when on the day i was to be demobilized, he actually shouted at me for being not cost-effective (since we were paid on a reimbursable basis) and then demanded for a point-by-point account on what i have done for the past three months while in their office.


i snapped, raising my voice and tearing while answering.

ultimately while he did calm down later on and apologized (and i also apologized) , i don't think that our (professional) relationship can ever be normalized again.

personally, i regret this entire fiasco (if you would call it such), and if given the chance to repeat this again, i should had done it in a more calm, controlled manner.

its a sobering reminder to take off those rose-tinted glasses (if i did wore them in the first place) that work isn't all fun and games.

on the bright side, there is a lesson to be drawn here - stay level headed. nothing good ever comes out when you're in a state of fury.

this should be my everlasting life goal - to stay composed at all times.

---

later in the year, i was doing some sort of a test run for a recently completed plant.

i was assigned to a head engineer to assist him with all the site stuff, and also to do some calculations.

these calculations were the first time i had experienced, and because of that i did extraordinarily slow to the point that he was often chasing after me for it.

worse still, i had to admit that i made several unacceptable mistakes e.g. linking wrong items etc etc.

to his credit, he really knows his stuff, and while he sure doesn't tolerate errors, he is more than happy to tell me where i went wrong which i do appreciate. 

there's that sinking feeling that i don't know much, and how utterly incompetent i am at this current state.

don't get me wrong, i intend to right this wrong and get better, but it really feels bad to be this lousy.

i wonder how low i must descend before i bounce back up.

it feels like that is no floor beneath me (with regards to how clueless and inexperienced i am right now) and i am just falling at terminal velocity, with no end in sight.

...this feels bad.

---

at the same time, the industry itself isn't doing too hot.

i am not sure if this career path is ultimately the 'right' path, but i know that i don't have much time left to secondguess, as by the 3rd year goes, most alternative paths would be locked out.

you know, while i do embrace uncertainty, this doesn't sit too well with me.

i do like the job, but at the same time i just feel that something is missing.

the worst part is i can't even objectively describe what exactly i am missing.

its kind of a bad thing as it impedes me from committing more to this current job that i have.

how about this gary - lets reassess your own position once you hit the 3 year mark and have garnered sufficient working experience first.


---

of course, there were some bright spots, such as actually physically climbing up a distillation column or a air fin cooler rack. (once i accidentally dropped a highlighter ~50m above ground. to my surprise, apart from a hairline crack on the casing, the highlighter still remained in one piece. talk about sturdy!) or participating in several client activities.

all in all, not a good year when it comes to the job.

am doing several projects with a senior engineer in tow, but with the current dismal state the industry is, i am not sure if there will be more next year.

all these is making me into the (insufferable) pessimist.

i think this year has knocked some shine/enthusiasm off me to be honest, however, i am confident that i will regain them eventually, one way or another.

---

on other fronts, i have cleared grade 5.

i felt that i have cheesed my way through, having messed up quite a fair bit during the main pieces, and also during the aural section.

nevertheless i guess my interest isn't waning anytime soon so i decided to proceed to 6.

the difficulty in music theory has spiked considerably, however over time it gets managable.

the difficulty of the pieces/composition have ramped up too, but again, it gets alright eventually.

not sure if i will be taking the exam next year though, assuming that i won't get sent overseas for further experience.

---

additionally, i have also attempted JLPT as well.

granted, its at a rather casual level (4) and passing it does not imply that i am fully proficient.

again, i can foresee that my interest will continue spurring me to take on the next difficulty level (3/2).

results aren't out but i won't lose too much sleep over it.

---

on the thesis publication front, there are setbacks after setbacks, with (peer) reviewers expressing doubt or concerns pertaining to the thesis.

i guess it was right to go with no expectations of it; besides, i already got my value by presenting it last year anyway (albeit to a rather disinterested audience but hey).

if it still goes through then sure, i'm happy to have it as a bonus. if it does not, ah well its also fine too.

although i did asked if i could work with my professor for further research topics, i find myself short of time to commit (or rather too lazy, such as writing this ha ha ha).

i don't even know if i should commit to a masters, and if so, whether to continue down the same line or divert to a new field like data science. (hell, or even to continue studying in NUS in the first place).

i wish i had the foresight to see what is ahead of me for each decision; that would make things so much more easier isnt it?

---

i finally managed to take the (full) year duration to read up on investment through a book by FT during my spare time.

granted, while my interest in it isn't that strong, i think the knowledge will serve me well, given that leaving dosh in the bank is a losing proposition in the long term.

here's hoping that its not too late for me.

probably will be starting off with ETFs and government bonds, but i look forward to trying out other forms eventually to spread out the risk as much as possible.

---

as time goes by, i realize that others are already making headways into their own lives, e.g. marriage, progression in work, etc.

yes, i get asked by my mother every now and then when i will get married and such.

i am tempted to tell her that i still prefer dying while young than such, but surely that would be a dick move, and also raise red flags - thanks, but i'll pass on those counseling sessions, there are more pressing matters to attend to.

again, i got to stress that i am most certainly not suicidal, but if it so happens that i die one day, sure i'll take it.

besides, there's joy in doing things in solitude.

several weeks ago, i went to a piano concert alone. at first it does feel off, like something is out of place, however that thought gets suppressed once the concert started and i did enjoy it a lot. i look forward to attending another one sometime soon.

additionally, a few days ago, during one of my leave days i decided (quite randomly) to cycle at east coast back to simpang bedok using one of those rental bikes (since they were free for the whole of december).

i will readily concede that i am most definitely not proficient in biking; in fact i am probably just a notch above the 'unable to ride a bike' tier. there were moments that i almost swerved to a ditch. also, i am still wary of riding along the street.

it was a nice exercise in building proficiency, as well as exploring east coast (it has been almost a decade since i last went there).

although i should had used sunblock before biking though (i started at 11am); right now i still feel a tinge of static on my skin (probably sunburnt).


nevertheless, it was a fun experience (and one that i probably wont undertake in quite a while).

---

so yeah, all in all, 2017... was pretty much a downer year.

but i suppose its good to experience the lows in order to appreciate the highs when it does come eventually.

next year (just like every other year) will be an important year in picking up even more skillsets, and abilities. additionally, 2018 will serve as a litmus test for determining the viability of this industry in the long term, and if it does goes south it is imperative i find an alternative path and fast, no later than 2019.

man, this certainly does not inspire confidence; but this is the (rather grim) situation that i am in.

you need to move upwards, gary, and fast.

---

oh, and i finally changed the blog's style to this simplistic one, due to photobuckets' p500 shenanigans.

guess it was overdue anyway.

---

so yeah, i guess thats about it really.

lets charge towards next year.