personally i think promises you made were just temporary. hell of course you love me. thank you. but seriously. what is love? its not just about saying those 3 words i believe. its more to it than u know.

i know im not perfect.
not close to it
probably never.
i was never a good gf
i always promise i'd change
but i never kept it
and u promise u'd make me happy
but....
i guess promises are not meant to be kept
not for me
i guess now not for you
yes im to be blamed for leaving you
i was stupid enough to leave
but now it got me thinking again
has it brought us closer
or has it not
how come i rarely smile now
how come im always angry
is that u making me feel that way
or its just me thinking too much
most of the time now i felt im just an option for you
i know friends comes first after family of course
but i was made an option when friends come into the picture
ALWAYS
u never notice
never
i swear u never notice
because why?
cos i was and always an option
u used to surprise me
when we got back together
like for a few weeks
said uve been wanting to do that all
that suddenly i became ur number one priority
but now?
laziness gets to you
suddenly everything else comes first
u know what that made me feel
f-ed up
i understand this is nothing compared to what i did
but u made promises
so sweetly u reel me back in
then what happens??
now that i want to surprise u
suddenly friends come first
i was an option dammit
an option



tell me. did i make the right decision I would like to convey my sincerest apologise to whomever reads this blog. I mean seriously who reads this? But nonetheless, this,  is my story....


Humans made mistakes in life and i wasn't an exception. And one thing's for certain, it was the gravest mistake. Gravest. I had, for me, the almost too perfect gift I can ever ever receive from anyone.But I just had to tamper with the only precious gift I had. I just had to. Thus the 'gravest mistake'.

But.......I'm a happy kid now. Hello booboo,
it had been neon ages since i last update
i've lost touch honestly
there ain't any substance left in me to share with the world

i have been a shithead for my 18 years of life.
a real shithead.
i always thought i am mature enough to know whats right and whats wrong
but i've been wrong all along
even at this almost mature age of 18, i owned a mind of a 10.
its such a sad case
and in this sad case, i almost lost an angel in disguise
i feel like i need to change like with immediate effect
but change compromises of a hell of a lot of time and patience
but my question to you is
do you have that much time to wait?
has anyone in your life ever want to wait a very long time for you?
do you know how it feels to have someone wait for you?
a great blessing
but is someone out there waiting for me?
are you?
i know being with me is as hard as it can get
i always always say that i dont want to lose you and all
but i always did things that made things complicated for us
many a times i thought of my actions and think its really dumb of me
dumb of me to do that to you
i keep hurting you
i am insane
but i want to change
i mean everybody does


but will you wait for me? hey ho.
so the day is finally here. he's leaving me again. and this time, to the LAND OF THE RISING SUN. i was happy for him :) but at the same time sad for myself :( i'll be alone for atleast a week. and on the brighter side, he gets to have the time of his life for that whole week! oh what a lucky boy :) anyhoos. we're gona turn one any sooner :))))) im looking forward to it. WELL WHO WOULDNT. -___-

i have nothing much to say now.i just feel like blogging with very little to say. i apologized. im feeling a little down due to his departure :( but i'll pull through. school wil bring my mood up. hopefully ;) so. till then. i'll be anticipating for his return :)
i love you honeybee :D

Labels: fly baby fly

hey ho avid readers ( if there is any)
anyway, life's been aye.. nothing extremely exciting to share.. mostly the not so good stuff..
i have mixed feelings throughout..anger sadness euphoria madness very much in love and everything basically.. life as they call it..
right now..NOW NOW..
i dont know what i feel..
no words, or maybe i just dont know what i am feeling right now..
oh god envelope with sadness,
packaged with happiness


a million words forming up one after the other contamporaneously
at a high speed no lightning could catch
in my head in my head in my head

everything, every little minutiaes
coming at me
walking running sprinting dashing
confused
i am

the envelope has nothing else to give me
but sadness
but embracing me with much love and care and concern
the lovely package sent by God

in that cramped envelope i tried
tear the envelope i might
run for you to get a glimpse of your sight

and with open arms you took me in
showering me
generously
with as many as much
love that you have

i feel blessed

with so much sadness enveloping me
all i want apart from anything else is you






in 2 days time baby :)

Labels: throw me out

Labels: i seek love from you baby

Hey ho
so holidays are here. and comes the wonderful rainy days ahead. time to snooze in the comfort of your warm bed every morning.

anyhoos, Project One calls for a celebration for the very hardworking editors and helpers. they have been working really hard to make the video looked very nice. so kudos to them :)

so my last day was spent reading newspaper articles about jack neo's scandalous acts. what a disgrace. friggin 2 years and his wife could stay calm. i'd have whacked him and take the kids away and get out.

and then we turn nine. seriously? haha. oh honey i just love you to the max. tired as i may, i always looked forward to my meetings with you. you always made my day. always always. no matter how you do it. but i just simply simply love that smile of yours :) always melts my heart. hee :) i miss you sweetheart :)

cant wait to meet you. dont know when!
 hahaha

love you!
:)

Labels: wee

in a few minutes time, me and love will turn 9 months old. how fast time flies. so many things we have done together, so many pleces we have been to. and yet a million more places we could go to and spend precious time together. being with you hannan has been the best gift any human being can afford to give.

you made me smile and only you can do it
you made me laugh and only you have seen my ugliest laughter
you made me cry and only you can console me
you tease me and only you can convince me that its just a joke
you hold my hands and only you make me blush when you did
you hugged me and only you can make me feel warm
you kiss me and only you did it with passion
you made me yours and only you can...


happy nine months baby
you're loved
kiss kiss
:)

Labels: i love you sweetheart

yea ok.i was busy.NOT.period. so birthday was spent with lovely classmates whom surprised me with a lovely strawberry cheesecake after class. and early in the morning, love surprised me by picking me up with his car. which was unexpected coz i was expecting him; just him and no other things, like him and his car. HAHA. ok so we when for a quick breakfast at macs then chill. then he sent me to class. and then the small,sweet celebration with lovely classmates therafter a short meet up with close friends and thereafter love picked me up again and off to marina barrage. had a nice little celebration :) so thus overall, my birthday is nothing big, but its close to the heart. thank you soo much everyone :) you guys have all made my day. regardless of what cakes you gave me. WINK WINK hannan! hahaha..

ok so well. im having my major project one currently. and thus conflicts have arise. fucked up attitudes are starting to show. leaders are beginning to step up. all in all. this is the experience that each individual will want to experience. to have a better understanding and to grasp the skills of each roles. to know each others weaknesses and strengths to help us in the later years where we'll do another major project. and so far things are not so bad. we'll wait till the production day in which we'll start this coming thursday :) hopefully things will go smoothly. and i as an art director will make sure my talents look as presentable as possible. :)



LOVE YOU HANNAN KHAIR :)

Labels: cleaned out the reds in my eye to get by