Saturday, August 04, 2007

Destiny Reading

Section 1: The SunSun in Capricorn:

Achievement through discipline is one of your keynotes in this lifetime. To fulfill your soul purpose you will need much patience, tenacity, endurance, and most likely a long period of apprenticeship or labor. You are equipped by nature to withstand the periods of self-denial, austerity, grueling study, repetitive practice, or "doing without" that your path in life requires. Serious about your aims and, above all, a realist, you are willing to pay your dues in order to get where you want to go, and whether your goal is spiritual attainment, development of a talent, or material success, you want to go to the top. Some degree of rigorous training or hardship (inner or outer) is apt to be a prerequisite to your eventual achievement, laura, and unlike apparently "luckier" souls, you have to work hard and pull your own weight early in life. Often, too, you have to wait, to delay gratification, and plan your strategies very carefully and shrewdly in order to gain your desired ends. Through this, you develop a certain toughness and firmness, emotional detachment, inner resourcefulness and self-determination, which keeps you going when the road gets a little rocky on the way to the pinnacle you are aiming for. One pitfall you need to beware of is your tendency to become hardened and cynical, secretly envious of those whose way is less orduous or whose outlook and attitude is more trusting and carefree (irresponsible and immature, to your way of thinking). You seem to be given more "tests", frustration, responsibilities, restrictions than others, and as a result, tend to view the world as an unfriendly place or life as a struggle. It is important for you not to become bitter because of this, or to try to take shortcuts, as these will almost certainly come back to haunt you later. The first half of your life, in particular, may seem heavy or hard, while the fruits of your steady efforts come to you later.

The essence of this lifetime is that you must prove yourself, laura, and this you know at a deep level, and feel as a sort of inner pressure. (it can be next to impossible to get you to relax and enjoy yourself, to waste time or money or anything frivolous, or to gamble on anything you are not certain will yield real, tangible benefits). Because of your very strong (even if undefined) sense of purpose. Even your recreation is apt to be done in a calculated manner. You weigh the potential risks involved, and usually on the side of safety, for you have a very strong head to know where you are going and to be in control. Thus, the true experience of play tends to elude you, since it requires letting go of control, a certain indifference to results in preference for a free flowing openness to the moment. You do have a rather dry, ironic sense of humor, and it is important for you to keep that side of you alive as it gives you balance and a healthy perspective on things.

Maya * Aztec Astrology Report

born January 7, 1986
DAY-SIGN: 13-Eagle (Maya: 13-Men)
YEAR: North-13 (Tikal System)
13-DAY PERIOD: 1-House (Maya: 1-Akbal)
NIGHT LORD: 1
VENUS PHASE: Superior Conjunction

Your Most Personal Traits --

The Day-Sign of Your BirthHere are your strongest and most obvious personality traits. The delineation below describes who you are and how you appear to others, at least on the surface. In Aztec astrology this part of is your horoscope is your Tonalli, or Day-Sign, the form bestowed upon you by the Sun.

Eagle: You like to be a free spirit. You would probably just take-off for parts unknown but you usually have some complex relationship issues to deal with, so you don't. But you like time alone and tend to keep a good distance from most people. You have your own set of rules in life that has developed from your own unique perspective on things and you tend to take an experimental approach to many areas of your life. At worst, you can become too self-involved, at best, you are a person who pioneers changes and furthers new developments in the social world.

Many persons born under this day-sign are noted for their intellect. Frequently Eagle types have an interest in, or background in, philosophy or science, or the more technical aspects of their chosen field. You are probably a perfectionist and your exacting, critical mind needs challenges. Making plans and layouts may be particularly appealing to you. You have a strong intellect but you also tend to think in rigid patterns. As a result, you may be stubborn and have difficulties breaking bad habits.

Oddly enough, there is an escapist side to you. This may be simply a lazy streak, or at worst, drug or alcohol abuse. On a more positive level, you may be concerned with making the world a better place and you only appear to be an escapist to others. The creation of a fantasy, an escape from society or a personal journey within -- these are things that appeal to you on a deep level. Perhaps this is your way to simulate the high, soaring flights of an eagle.
You are probably very popular and well-liked, which is kind of interesting since you tend to bend the rules frequently. One thing you find uncomfortable is competition. You will compete when necessary, and you can be very serious about such things, but you usually try to avoid it. Competition with yourself is more your style and has probably become a pattern in your life.
In relationship matters you can be contradictory. You are very interested in relationships and, in order to explore them, will make life choices that compromise your free-wheeling instincts. Since you are a great believer in freedom, you stress this principle not only for yourself, but also for your partners or friends, and are therefore willing to break with convention in living situations.

Your Deeper Self --

The 13-Day Week of Your BirthEach of us reacts to the world around us in different ways. Our reactions are mostly unconscious; they represent what our deeper self needs. Our reactions both attract and repel us from things, people, and situations. What we like, what we like to do, and who we really are is shown by the 13-day week called the Trecena that we were born under. Each of these periods begins with the number 1 and the name of the day-sign that starts it. A number is attached to your position within the 13-day period that may be an important number for you.

This is the last day of the 13-day period beginning with 1-House. Beneath your surface
personality you are a person who needs very secure foundations. These may be intellectual, as in science or religion, or they may be material, as in possession of valuables. Many born under this combination devote their lives to business -- making money or buying property. Whether or not you seek mental or economic security, you are a person with standards to meet and uphold. You are also a very private person, yet you are very popular. You can be distant and hard to reach, but at the same time you tend to become very much involved in public life.

Labels: horoscopes

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |2:41 PM|
Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Your results are in! You are...

The Wild Rose
Random Brutal Love Dreamer (RBLD)

Colorful, but unpicked. You are The Wild Rose. Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you're the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling. You don't seem to take yourself too seriously, and that's refreshing. You aren't uptight; you don't over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn't a top priority--a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven't had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You're very selective.

The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You're out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone.

"You're never truly single as long as you have yourself."

ALWAYS AVOID: The Bachelor (DGSM)

CONSIDER: The Vapor Trail (RBLM).

Labels: true....

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |11:36 AM|
Saturday, July 28, 2007

Oscar the Cat awakens from his nap, opening a single eye to survey his kingdom. From atop the desk in the doctor's charting area, the cat peers down the two wings of the nursing home's advanced dementia unit. All quiet on the western and eastern fronts. Slowly, he rises and extravagantly stretches his 2-year-old frame, first backward and then forward. He sits up and considers his next move.

In the distance, a resident approaches. It is Mrs. P., who has been living on the dementia unit's third floor for 3 years now. She has long forgotten her family, even though they visit her almost daily. Moderately disheveled after eating her lunch, half of which she now wears on her shirt, Mrs. P. is taking one of her many aimless strolls to nowhere. She glides toward Oscar, pushing her walker and muttering to herself with complete disregard for her surroundings. Perturbed, Oscar watches her carefully and, as she walks by, lets out a gentle hiss, a rattlesnake-like warning that says "leave me alone." She passes him without a glance and continues down the hallway. Oscar is relieved. It is not yet Mrs. P.'s time, and he wants nothing to do with her.

Oscar jumps down off the desk, relieved to be once more alone and in control of his domain. He takes a few moments to drink from his water bowl and grab a quick bite. Satisfied, he enjoys another stretch and sets out on his rounds. Oscar decides to head down the west wing first, along the way sidestepping Mr. S., who is slumped over on a couch in the hallway. With lips slightly pursed, he snores peacefully — perhaps blissfully unaware of where he is now living. Oscar continues down the hallway until he reaches its end and Room 310. The door is closed, so Oscar sits and waits. He has important business here.

Twenty-five minutes later, the door finally opens, and out walks a nurse's aide carrying dirty linens. "Hello, Oscar," she says. "Are you going inside?" Oscar lets her pass, then makes his way into the room, where there are two people. Lying in a corner bed and facing the wall, Mrs. T. is asleep in a fetal position. Her body is thin and wasted from the breast cancer that has been eating away at her organs. She is mildly jaundiced and has not spoken in several days. Sitting next to her is her daughter, who glances up from her novel to warmly greet the visitor. "Hello, Oscar. How are you today?"

Oscar takes no notice of the woman and leaps up onto the bed. He surveys Mrs. T. She is clearly in the terminal phase of illness, and her breathing is labored. Oscar's examination is interrupted by a nurse, who walks in to ask the daughter whether Mrs. T. is uncomfortable and needs more morphine. The daughter shakes her head, and the nurse retreats. Oscar returns to his work. He sniffs the air, gives Mrs. T. one final look, then jumps off the bed and quickly leaves the room. Not today.

Making his way back up the hallway, Oscar arrives at Room 313. The door is open, and he proceeds inside. Mrs. K. is resting peacefully in her bed, her breathing steady but shallow. She is surrounded by photographs of her grandchildren and one from her wedding day. Despite these keepsakes, she is alone. Oscar jumps onto her bed and again sniffs the air. He pauses to consider the situation, and then turns around twice before curling up beside Mrs. K.

One hour passes. Oscar waits. A nurse walks into the room to check on her patient. She pauses to note Oscar's presence. Concerned, she hurriedly leaves the room and returns to her desk. She grabs Mrs. K.'s chart off the medical-records rack and begins to make phone calls.

Within a half hour the family starts to arrive. Chairs are brought into the room, where the relatives begin their vigil. The priest is called to deliver last rites. And still, Oscar has not budged, instead purring and gently nuzzling Mrs. K. A young grandson asks his mother, "What is the cat doing here?" The mother, fighting back tears, tells him, "He is here to help Grandma get to heaven." Thirty minutes later, Mrs. K. takes her last earthly breath. With this, Oscar sits up, looks around, then departs the room so quietly that the grieving family barely notices.

On his way back to the charting area, Oscar passes a plaque mounted on the wall. On it is engraved a commendation from a local hospice agency: "For his compassionate hospice care, this plaque is awarded to Oscar the Cat." Oscar takes a quick drink of water and returns to his desk to curl up for a long rest. His day's work is done. There will be no more deaths today, not in Room 310 or in any other room for that matter. After all, no one dies on the third floor unless Oscar pays a visit and stays awhile.

Note: Since he was adopted by staff members as a kitten, Oscar the Cat has had an uncanny ability to predict when residents are about to die. Thus far, he has presided over the deaths of more than 25 residents on the third floor of Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island. His mere presence at the bedside is viewed by physicians and nursing home staff as an almost absolute indicator of impending death, allowing staff members to adequately notify families. Oscar has also provided companionship to those who would otherwise have died alone. For his work, he is highly regarded by the physicians and staff at Steere House and by the families of the residents whom he serves.

Source Information
Dr. Dosa is a geriatrician at Rhode Island Hospital and an assistant professor of medicine at the Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University — both in Providence.

http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/357/4/328

Labels: interesting.

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |12:29 AM|
Friday, July 20, 2007

"I am unique and distinct because ..........................................."
*"fill up the blanks.." my boss said.

*THINKING HARD... REALLY HARD...*

"relax... just think of what you think you are unique and distinct about. what are your strengths and qualities that makes you so special. What are your goals. You are rare, and valuable on your own, because there is only one "YOU" on earth.." my boss said again.

At that point in time, I wanted to say that i'm really not up to any standard of being unique or special or even distinct on my own. Somehow i know, i just needed another person to help me shine. I feel quite useless, seriously. Then I decided, my weakness is that i'm overly dependant on another person to compensate for what I wanted.. I realised that I just cannot shine on my own. I need constant support. I need to talk to feel wanted. I need to get around and smile to everyone to then really bring a geniune smile on my face. I am afraid. I am just some useless idiot who is unable to know what she is capable of, other than sticking to a person for comfort, to shine....

I want to command attention. I KNOW I JUST NEED ATTENTIONS.

Then i think again... why "attention"?

I was closing my eyes then, but my eyes moved around... from left to right. from up then down... finally, i had learnt what i needed to say to myself. some words that makes me really happy. an inner desire to shine more, to be brighter, to be so significant that my light can pierce into a person's soul, their mind, their lives...

so i said..

"I am unique and distinct because of... my desire to create miracles into other people's life."

I said it thrice.

I affirmed myself by hearing what i said it loud.

An affirmation to myself...

Labels: affirmation. confidence. desire. realisation.

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |2:04 AM|
Tuesday, June 12, 2007

-Maturit(ies)-

When one goes through different stages of life, everything about a person changes as they advance. However, everyone will go through different obstacles when reaching a brand new stage. This relates to their current personal characteristic, perception, attitude, thinking and of course, values.

There are always 3 categories of people living in this living world (to me):

1. The riches
2. The middle-class
3. The poors

Most people categories themself as the middle-class, or the poors. But, there are again, different meanings;

1. Morally, ethically and generously rich
2. The in-between (people who are still "searching for their identity")
3. Morally, ethically and undoubtly bankrupt

Often, when I think about these, I will ponder on, then try to figure it out in my head.. Why are there such big mismatches in these people lives. Why are some people rich, and not morally rich, but a bankrupt? Why are there people, whose in the middle-class/ poor being geniunely morally rich. This is one way that I feel how people use it as a gauge to judge maturity levels in a person.

Besides education, work experiences, traumatic setbacks, criticisms and environment, the most influential source (of mental growth) will be, somehow or rather, developed from your observations and "mimick" of own parent(s). Everything roots from how you were taught since young. Whether these values and virtues are still in touch with your heart is solely dependant of your own self-discipline.

Say.....

Parents who are richer (or in middle-class), naturally will be able to provide what they have to their children. Money enhances love, makes love more beautiful. The brand, the prestige, the value of their child is measured by material goods they are able to provide for them (just somehow or rather okie..). The hassle-free attitude to be able to give them their time, quality time, to make them feel loved. These children, are people who will be expecting more from the society. Because, they feel that they deserves it (too pampered).

To these pampered babies, people who are earning less, means people who does not really work hard enough, or simply, they condemned poor people to their bad lives, bad luck. Somehow, pampered babies (not all) thought working hard means more money (naive), means more sweat and some "important" people will start to admire this "never-say-die" attitude (even more naive). It is never really the case in the real world...

For example:

• Some Chinese women (in china) begged for sex in exchange for money. Why so? Because she need to feed her baby she's carrying behind her back. Because, job opportunities are so low (n high population in china) they simply need to work something they really hate. People call them cheap... but... are they really cheap? No. I don't think so.
• A middle age man who has his Masters now are not working for a 6-10k salary/ mth anymore. They are working for a 3k salary/ mth. Or worse, not even able to secure a job in Singapore with his qualification.
• A woman worked for 20 years in a bank, climbing the management ladder to her "success". Till now, she is still climbing. She is exposed to risk of over-taking. The fear and politics, who will understand it? Working hard doesn't necessarily mean more returns. Working hard is in exchange for her rice bowl, in fear, everyday.

Maturities, are the ability to see through, what others do not see. To me, it is an unspoken understanding you established with the society, balanced out between the riches, middle-class, and poor. Understanding their position and work out a way to be able to communicate with them in the best frequency platform. Ability to relate other people's situation as like yours, is the highest level of being sensible (TO ME). Maturity comes with age. Sensibility is a discipline. Some people can mature with their age, but never sensible. (like old man who nods wisely, but talks stupidly). HA!

I wonder, how do people see the world?

1. Cockiness/ Bragging/ Boasting = Immature
2. Playing kid computer games = Immature
3. Complaining / "tipping-off" / gossip = Immature
4. Fighting = Immature
5. Watching funny cartoons (transformers, barney, teletubbies) = Immature
6. Behaving (or talking) in an exaggerated and an extremely senseless manner = Immature
7. Stubbornly sticking to their own identity/ originality = Immature
8. Not having live pass you own age = Immature

What is your own opinion then? Immature is such a common world now, a cliche. Like "love". It has lost its very own meaning. Even a 10 year old kid, scolds another 10 year old kid "childish". ahha...

The world is upside down now... But people.. Maturity and sensibility grows together to exudes the power attracting to be respected.

I, just want to be a better person, to make the world a better place.. :D

Labels: better person, growing up, maturity

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |7:57 PM|
Sunday, June 03, 2007

Gay Pub Night!!!

muahaha.. so damn fun yesterday with my buddies. Alamak, so long nv seeeeeeee them le. lols. So 3 of us are back to the "play here play there" mood again. =D miss them la. hmmm so Zhiwei become a lil handsome liao! and Zheng Guo become very "chee cham" liao! Zheng Guo got to go to Brunei for 3 weeks and he's becoming so unhappy about it lor. Buaytahan. 3 WEEKS NIA!!! lol

anyways, yesterday went to zw's gay pub la.. oh my god, it's so fun there lor. I mixed with the people there and they are so FRIENDLY! =X Well, met up with an Alson. So this very hiao "ger ger" hor, called himself "Bson" and then pulled me in and said, " she's my sister! Season!"
muahhaa.. den me and the gays went on dancing. They are so sisterly la. Damn. Zhiwei is so accustomed to serving Gays liao, so he's immune to them le lah. But hor, ZhengGuo is sorta scared stiff lor. LOL! Dare not mix with the gays, sit far far, kept quiet... Until one gay went up and ask if he's a straight or gay, then ZW and me both came to his defence la. muahaha..

Apart from knowing gays, we also drank some and danced lor. There is this stage, where 3 gays were up dancing and posing.. so pwetty! ok lah, kns, they are so hiao ... i wanna hiao also cannot win them lahs. hehe. I dragged ZG to the dancefloor and ZW joined in. Just as we were dancing halfway, I felt a little bit weird....
I'm the only girl there. -__-" and they were sort of "staring" at me.
Well, it's always good to know more friends when u're at that environment. So my "sisters for one night" ALSON AND BSON came join in! muahaha. Then everything became OK le.

I drank GInger ALe with CHivaS la (one jug, one bottle)... hmmm i think i drank too much ba. CUz end up vomitting a little. Simply cannot puke lor. ZG and ZW also end up vomitting. ZW got to entertain the guest, ZG kena sabo-ed by me. Cuz i poured too much Chivas in his coke. We also had 2 shots. "Sex at the beach" and Chivas neat. lol. I had a lil hennessy and vodka cuz the ppl there offered me lor. haiyos. Cannot hold my liquor sia. Cuz i ended up drunk. WE ALL ENDED UP DRUNK. (we picked ourselves up in about 1 hours time)

ZW, ZG and me both went home later on lor. All on a cab back home. ZW sent me to my doorstep la. Great bro. =D ar bo how to call buddies for 6 years! haha.

Labels: Buddies., Chivas, Drunk, Gay pub

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |12:49 PM|
Saturday, June 02, 2007

Got my HI textbook... and ya... going to start mugging again loh.. After I pass my HI, i guess it is the fresh start of my life le. Everything had changed and it's never the same as before. It's like a series of bad things and good things coming in and out. As such, my current life is being "washed" and "refilled with good stuff".

Today is going to be a little different. I'm going out for some night enjoyment~ arhaha. After all bad falls and heartaches, it's time to pick myself up and move on. So i'm going back to some routine "workout" loh...

1) start to contact bro again =D
2) start to go back to maple for the fun of it
3) sleep late
4) wake up early for work
5) go home late after work
6) audition~
7) night life with some buddies
8) think of this think of that
9) fantasise
............

ahs~ what the hell. boring life. But it's gonna change soon lah!!! anyway, if it's meant to be, it will come to you. What belongs to you will always come back / to you. . .

Labels: emotional, night life tonight, studyyyyy...

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |10:47 PM|

just.. feel like typing some words here... and nothing else... really.....

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My Uncharted Territory out
@ |2:26 AM|