Pregnancy comparison

 31 1/2 weeks with Noah and Eli.

 31 weeks with Baby Girl.

Some of the boys' Christmas gifts

 Mike and Lanae got these posters for the boys when they were in China. And the little kitchen set in the corner was from "Santa" (aka mommy and daddy). We got it at Toys 'R' Us for $30 (originally somewhere around $80) because the box was damaged. Also, if I would have taken this picture this morning you would have seen crayon marks all over the wall and height board (they also got the floor, dresser, and doors). I saw something on the TV about using toothpaste to get crayon off of walls and it worked like a charm!

 I made them each a Sesame Street pillow with some fabric that Aaron's Aunt Wendy got for me this summer.

I also made them each a rag quilt for their big boy beds. They aren't quite big enough but it works.

 

30 weeks

 

I'm 30 weeks pregnant today (and this is my 100th post this year). That means I only have 9 weeks left! My c-section has been officially scheduled for February 22nd bright and early in the morning. This pregnancy has gone rather smoothly, and I have just recently started getting more and more uncomfortable. I have a lot of lower back pain which is probably my biggest complaint. She moves around a lot and sometimes I feel embarrassed thinking other people can see my stomach jiggling and shaking. Christmas has fallen at the perfect time during this pregnancy since I'm finally at the "nesting" point. I have been able to get so much done this week for Christmas, including making 2 quilts, 2 pillows, and already wrapping all the presents. I also cleaned my room and finally put up decorations on the walls (we've only lived here for a year and a half!).

Noah and Eli love to point out Mommy's baby. They also have to confirm every time they see Grandpa that he has no baby. They point to his belly and say, "no baby," and then point to me and say, "Mommy baby." It is pretty funny. Grandpa has been trying to teach them that only girls have babies and since he's a boy he can't have a baby. They still have to make sure daily (multiple times at that).

 

Ice

It has been a pretty crazy winter so far. Just this week we had our second snow storm followed by an ice storm. The boys couldn't have been happier with the results - super slick conditions perfect for sledding (or just purposely making themselves slip and fall). I took the boys out to play on the snow/ice early in the day for a little bit (this is when they discovered the joys of eating icicles), but the real fun didn't happen until later that night when Dad had some free time to play with them outside. 

On our way home from Grandma and Grandpa's house Thursday evening the ice that had melted during the day was refrozen and super slick. If you've never seen our front yard and drive way, they are on a hill. When we park in the driveway we are always sure to put on the parking break. Well our driveway was one thick sheet of ice. The boys tried to walk up it and quickly discovered how slick it was and impossible to walk up. Then they started sliding down it (which resulted in a bloody forehead for Noah, but that sure as heck didn't stop him). So we grabbed a piece of cardboard and sent them "sledding" down the front yard. They were in heaven! That's when Aaron remembered the blow up sled Grandma bought and we took the fun to our backyard (also a hill). Here are just a few pictures of their first real sledding experience.

Noah's ready!

About to sled down for the first time.

 

You can't tell, but they are loving every minute of it!

 

 Totally unrelated but such a cute picture :)

Santa Claus is coming to town...

Eli on the old rocking horse.

We set out on Saturday to get into the Christmas spirit. First on our list, visiting Santa at Sam's Club. It was a good idea until we got there over an hour before Santa was scheduled to arrive. So we set out for the next item on our list: a Christmas tree. We headed down the road to a nearby nursery to pick out a tree. I picked out one that was labeled "spaced branching, perfect for decorating" because it was discounted. While I went inside to pay the boys were surprised by a visit from Santa himself! Luckily Grandma brought her camera but unfortunately the boys were not very interested in getting anywhere near Santa.

Their first encounter with Santa - I think Eli might actually be smiling here. 

 Noah looks pretty skeptical of the big red man.

 Somehow they managed to get Noah on Santa's lap. It didn't last long.

When I finally came out (after drinking some delicious, free hot cider) Santa was out front waiting in a sleigh being pulled by his horse Abby. We were pretty excited when Santa told us to hop on in for a ride. Needless to say, we were more than happy with our visit with Santa this year and will definitely go back next year for some free cider and a sleigh ride with Santa.

They loved the sleigh ride as long as they could maintain a distance from Santa. We did convince them to give him a high five before we left.

Asking for help

It seems to me that my blog has become the place where I post pictures of the kids and talk about all the good and fun things that are going on in my life. But, believe it or not, life isn’t perfect. In fact, life is hard and so many times I have wished I could just give up or run away. This semester of Aaron in grad school has been the hardest yet. He is stretched so thin and for the first half of the semester I felt like he was never here. By the time he actually did get home he was checked out, done for the day.

Guess what. It’s not that easy to check out when you are a mom. I can’t tell you how many times we have had the same argument about whose job is easier. As a mom, your job is never done. And even though I love my kids to death, sometimes I have wanted to get away from them so badly. That makes me feel horrible about myself because isn’t this, motherhood, supposed to be a woman’s calling in life? Shouldn't I be enjoying it?

I have spent so much of my time over the past several months feeling bad for myself. Wishing things were different. Angry that my mom is dead and I can’t call her and talk to her. Ticked that my husband gets to leave the house when I’m stuck at home with the kids. Pissed that I have to do the same chores over and over with no help. 

Well I finally asked for help. At my last OB appointment I finally told my doctor that I’ve been struggling with depression ever since my mom died almost 2 years ago. I’ve been afraid for so long to ask for help and now that I have I wish I would have done it sooner. It’s been almost three weeks since my last appointment and I can’t tell you the difference it has made. I don’t think Aaron and I have had a single fight in that time. I enjoy my kids and have fun playing with them. I do my housework (most of the time) with a better attitude and I don’t worry about it so much when it’s not done.

I’m not so sure why I feel I need to share this. I just know how easy it is to read through other people’s blogs and think that they have such a great life. I know what it’s like to jump to conclusions about how happy everyone else around you is. But I want you all to know that we all have our private struggles. We all have problems, some more than others. We are all given trials that we need to overcome. But we don’t have to deal with them alone. Don’t be afraid. Ask for help. I finally did and it has made a huge difference for me and my family.

SNOW!

We woke up this morning to a winter wonderland outside. It was supposed to be my turn to sleep in this morning but I was so exited to take the boys out in the snow I couldn't sleep. So I got up and made some breakfast and then we were out the door. The boys were so excited when they saw the snow outside and were just giggling and smiling the whole time we were out in it. Aiko is definitely a snow dog and loved frolicking and running in the snow. It is so funny how excited she gets which in turns gets the boys more excited. They ran around in the snow laughing and exclaiming, "I-tow!" (that's how they pronounce Aiko). They thought it was especially funny when we started throwing snow balls and kept asking for "mo no ball" (more snow balls).

 Noah

Eli

 

It's amazing the difference between the boys playing in the snow just 11 months ago and today. They had so much fun this morning and they were so timid and confused by it back in January. They are at such a fun age right now, I'm really loving it!