Life.

Just woke up ... and its like 11:30 am... never in my life.. I woke up from sleep like this kind of latency... well.. perhaps can be excuse.. because its during the fasting month ...

Terrible dreams occured during the 2nd half of my rest... - those wildest dream that can influence you to just break into a sin and spoilt your fast...

Well its been like 2 weeks since I've been blogging .. because honestly saying I'm too lazy to post any of these useless rants... because it doesn't do any good... but ironically... I still did...

and like right now...there's like loads of things to clarify and speak about... but I just can't get it out...

Had a conversation with Faz last night... keep talking about life, faith... etc.. That very moment I just can't say much.... when at that time I have alot of words to say.. it just couldn't come out... so I was just sitting there hearing his confessions...

Then the faith issue comes up... well .. this topic is a sensitive thing to tackle ... its by the own individual to handle themselves... because we can advice them too... but if we constantly advice them with the same thing... it will turn out to be a nagging advice... and that might be the cause of the downfall of your friendship...

But still... I do tell him what to do... to return to the right path... seek forgiveness and the light in the darkness... just give another prayer...

well... his problems are considered much heavy than me.. as mine... the problem I have is just bitches.. thats all.. other than that.. I'm okay...

anyway... after watching SLEEPER CELL.. an American based story regarding islamic terrorist on their soil... creating/planning/making another disastrous attack just as the same or even worst than the 9/11 ... the thing that fascinate me is that.. all the casts in this miniseries like prison break... are all non-muslims.... but as they acted it out... it really shows like they are a real muslims...

they recite surah Al-Fatihah... they pronounce the shahadah... perform the solat... which makes me not ashame but proud for the time being... and watching this series for straight 4 days... I'm totally influenced by the whole programme...

To be honest... during this ramadan month.. I've been searching/looking for knowledge regarding Islam... at the time being... I want to be a muslim preacher .. to help my friends who is in trouble with faith.. and with those who have no faith at all.. I don't want them to move out of the right path and lead to the blackhole of no meaning... Probably what the muslim scholars said is right... it is coming to the end of the world... when every muslim slowly becoming to be lost in their own world.. when they have no faith in Allah anymore... when their Iman are becoming weak... slowly one by one become and apostate.. ( nauzubillahminzalik )

This is what I'm afraid of... to the world and especially to the people nearby...


but as for me... I know my ground... I know my roots... for Insya-allah... I'll be a great muslim... even though not as the good examples one... but as long as I know more on my faith.. learning about what's the good and bad in life... Insya-allah, I can be on par with the good ones...

So.. can anybody answer me.. " Aina hua Jannatallah ? " ( Where is God's paradise ?)



That will be all.
Dismissed.



-Khai-

Songwriting.

Been thinking about life these past few days... yet again... its been so important as days went by.. I don't know why but yes it did happen...

Got nothing to do either.. browsing my messenger list.. viewing whose online and who is not.. and I'm officially stating .. that I've lost 2 humans in my contact list... - all because of my poor personality in life.

Went to the songwriting workshop.. it was fantastic I should say..

Keith Kwok.. the instructor who conduct the workshop has done a fabolous job in conducting the class.. in teaching the secrets on how to make a song ..

It is so simple as that.. which many famous artists has done and bring huge success to their music career..

maybe one day I would make my very first real song.. with vocals... and from the I shall see what people thinks about it... like what Keith advise to the whole class.. yes I always do that when I have a piece of my original....

Other than that.. the home-recording was in fact a mediocre workshop... I like the songwriting better..

By the looks of it.. there's much things I would like to do ... like signing up for that 7 weeks course on songwriting??

it just makes me feel wanting more on how to produce good music for myself when I have the free time.. and probably one fine day .. as an additional help for my financial... if god will...

Seriously I've got nothing do at home at all.. been so wicked.

Read up one of those Arsenal's blog.. and one thing that really makes me feel better is the Arsenal cheers/chants...

"we love you arsenal we do.... "

that video made by a die hard fan gunner... was really inspiring making me proud to be a Gunner fan... at least... of course... they don't even know I exist !

anyway...

Keep thinking.. about solutions for every problem.. and those things which IF i have .... what can I do with it.. that kind of stuff..

I just need to change myself...

face shame... and give in.



That will be all.
Dismiss.



-khai-

Walter.

And Ramadan is here... I knew it would come ... but ironically ... and for the first time ever.. I got the feeling of not being prepared for it...

day in day out... nowadays I keep on thinking about life... about what I am going to be the next few years ahead... education life... and as well... as my life..- partner.marriage.family.


I don't know why.. but suddenly I feel so damn worried about that...


What will I really be...


Haizz...


Talked to Faz about my situation .. yearh same ol answer like any other people will give.. couldn't help it.. we were talking about life under the deck... accompanied him to the food court last night... got nothing else to do also....

we had a good wise chat... "confide" to him about my petty problems.. which he told me.. my problems isn't that major... it can be solve...easy.. the answer was - socialize.

anyway.. now.. I'm turning my tide to a new person... well .. i just know her right just now.. it was my soccer teammate sister..

actually.. I don't want to know about all these things .. but when the talk within the team about my goalkeeper calling the other teammate his brother-in-law... having this getting-his-sister issue.. I just couldn't care less..

but on one day.. I just drop by my left-back teammate friendster profile... to give him a comment or two... something made me to look through his photos.. and yearh.. indeed... his elder sister is a talking point..


so from there.. message was sent... and boom.. added in the messenger...


yet another one word conversation along the way... and i'm soooooo soo... immune by it... seriously... now I just want to wait for the chance when it comes...

if it doesnt.. then its not my luck.. not my day...


anyway...



what to say much..?




that will be all.
Dismissed.





-Khai-