slapshot.

Exams are finally over.

Celebrate? no. I don't want to.. because I know I didn't do well ... its deja vu...

Same like taking examinations during secondary school.. I can't seem to complete my examination papers...

When will that day ever happen.... the day when I can complete it...

anyway...


Grading in a months' time... I seem to take it on ease... but hell its gonna be an intense moment on that day... a chance for me to be a blackbelter.... one of those many dreams I have...

Oh yearh... sparred with two senior blackbelt.. and wow.. am I so lucky that they aren't at their best.... ; kick , punch ... basically i just whack them ... for the best of my experience...

and yearh... I didn't talk to her at all.. just some facial expression when got the eye contact... other than that... nothing.... don't want to disturb her anymore... or should I say... be obssessed...


and yearh.. holidays almost 3/4 of it is covered by the fasting period ..... not much of an entertaining holiday I should say...


oh well.. exams results will be mid-Sept... thats what Khai told me... ( SP classmate...)

and guess what.. I think I've lost two friends already... should I consider them friends at the first place...?? I really don't know how to describe the word "friends" ... hmm... that shows how bad I'm as a human....



that should be all.
Dismiss.




-Khai-

A song for a friend..

Right.. the time is here... thermofluid examination is today... at 6pm...

what a time slot... when every body are going back home, feeling tired and relieved.. we have a IQ test on that very time..

well it doesnt matter ... life as a student.. there will be test/examinations/retakes/failures/top scorer/4-pointers .... you can just name it all...

well.. am I prepared..?

thats another question.....


I've yet realise.. blogs with pictures will create more "environment" ... people like to look at images rather than latter words you mumble about.. in the end it comes back to square one...

just like doing a presentation... - more pictures less words.


I just like got nothing more to say...

probably the olympics.... probably some other time...



for right now...


That will be all.
Dismiss.






-Khai-

That blond guy.

I'm really getting worried of the semestral exam that is coming up... which is next week..

Thermofluid.. I'm still referring to the book for formulas and stuff.. I seem can't get the fundamentals right...

and I'm really worried.. there's maths ... which I am really weak in.. I've did all my best.. to try and attempt all the tutorials....

Haiz... I'm just scared .. that what if I fail one of the modules.. ? I don't want to retake it... neither I want to get thrown away from school just because I failed modules...

Now I do feel the panic in me...


anyway.. checked some bike pricing just now... I totally give up on getting one... its so damn terribly expensive... I dream of having my very first time own a vehicle... but in Singapore.. is not that easy mate... No. not that easy.

Its the same like buying a notebook... but its much more expensive.. and also you need to count in the maintenance after which there you need for servicing... and so on ...

Just forget it.




Anyway.. I realise I'm having this pattern in life ... with a new girl that I know.. I have this addiction towards a song... everytime... and sometime with every new girl ... I'm starting to get introduce to new songs... and that song that I will start to get addicted and obsessed.. same impression goes to the girl that I like ... and whenever I listen back those songs.. it just make me flashback...

Just to name a few...

Names Song/Band/Artist addicted to..
==================================================================
Diyana Micheal Learns to Rock, Linkin Park
Michelle Atreyu - Ex and Ohs
Aisyah Rihanna - Umbrella
Tasha Jason Mraz - Bella Luna


===================================================================

well.. yearh.. I did say just to name a few... I don't know if other humans have the same life like me.. but yearh this is my life pattern... that I could recognise...

Right now.. I'm currently so obsessed and addicted to Jason Mraz...

for the very first time... I'm pushing all my heavy hardcore loud amplifiers playing.. for a Jazz singer...

How bad it is my affection towards others...


.. anyway..


That will be all.
Dismiss.




-Khai-

Silent silence..

The only remedy that will heal you're love affection is through hate...
What more can you do to seek you're admirer reaction .. after for so much you put and effort in
getting her responds...?
Sometimes you need a lot of effort just to do a simple thing.. just to impress her.
Which eventually she will think that you're being so obsessed and getting insane...

Regardless whether she's being nice or straightforward... It all rely on her respond... her replies to what you text or PMed her.. usually girls who are on the same boat as you.. will automatically say something to you.. even though you're just friends.. but if you have something special.. a feeling which only exist for the special one.. that will open a new chapter in the story...

If she responded well and it things happen just like you've expected.. then the " happily ever after.." ending will be your conclusion.. but if she neglect it.. but still respect you as just a normal friend.. then the storyline will depend on how you try so hard to get her.. so its like your decision of impressing someone.. is the pen and ink... to write your story down... with a room for no corrections ...

At times you're sick of it.. keep on trying and trying... just like you can't even start a topic to write on... after scribbling on each paper.. getting a brand new one to start something new... in the end you'll get frustrated because you simply can't get what you want...



And the very best part... I mean the best part where you'll get hurt the most is when that person is lying. Just a simple lie.

Just like any other routine task.. she gets online.. waiting for her to say hi to you.. and when the conversation starts.. and you sound like.." so how was your weekend.. went out huh....... ohh.. to that event..? "

when she replied " ohh yearh.. nice day actually.. went out with some friends.. "...

hmm yearh..you might say.. nothing's wrong about that .... but you can't see whats going on ... after the effort you've put in before.. asking her out on one of those days... just to test the water..
what do you get in reply on that time.. ? " hmmm busy schedule .. you know with my assignment for school on weekdays... as for weekends.. I got some outside club participation..." so on and forth...

You agree by saying.. "oh yearh.. well I think I understand that.. I guess I couldn't have the time to go out with you huh... " ... and she replied with a giggle-typed word.. " hehe.. maybe .. yearh.. sorry ya?" ... that just simply trying to avoid you... So right now.. relate back these situations when you asked her about her well being, those hectic school assignments plus rosters and stuff.. till the point that you starting to get the picture.. of her being busy.. but she's not.. then something's wrong somewhere... and it comes back to this again... SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU.


Just think.. if she can go out with her friends ( you don't even know its friends with the letter 's' at the last word... or just 'friend' which means.. she went out with another person.. just the 2 of them.. ) why can't you? The very other time you so called planned up with her.. could be your day on that very day she went out with her friends ( once again you know what I'm trying to say here..) don't you think...


Well it could be some latent lie... you'll never know.. so I said stop all these effort of trying to impress her.. Yes. even though it takes you loads of time to just form up a very impressive text message greetings and in return you just get nothing but ignorance. How can you gain empathy..

Its really up to her to choose .. to go with.. or push you far away even with the warmest smiles you can get..

Just think.. she's having all the fun time she could ever get ... and you're at someplace thinking hard and still keep on thinking about her/her name and thinking all sorts of nonsense that she might be going out with some other guys.. .. making this whole false-hope-situation into your life dilemma... she already insist and state that she don't want to.. means she don't want... - That is her choice towards you.

Even if she goes out with another guy.. that means she chooses to go out with that guy.. simply because that guy is way better than you ... in terms of physical apperance..? status and reputation that he is in..? Probably age factor is involve too..?

Another simple alternative way to say is that.. "She's just simply much more interested in that guy rather than you... "


So now its pretty obvious that you lost the whole love game.

Even if you scored as many beautiful goals with all your hard earn effort... she didn't even bother you.. but for just one person who hangs out almost everyday with her.. which normally will get the most chances to see her everyday.. will eventually get her attention , sharing with each other's character.. get-to-know-better session.. and the high chance of being close to her.


Its not about the issue of having an "outing" together with her.. its the issue of whether the chemistry between each other.. you and her... does it goes well or otherwise..

So now think. She's human afterall..and so are you.
You're choice is always known ..
But not hers... She chooses on what she desire...

If you didn't get a happy ending..
Then in that case .. lady luck is not on your side..
Although you lost a precious yet rare gem which you could get...
But everything seems to be sweeping away..



That will be all.
Dismiss.



-Khai-

43rd.

[ Just wanna look how great I am in a cap..Never.]

Another Independence Day..yet this one is one of those auspicious events ever in this small country.

Some took it as a National holiday , for them to rest and also enjoy the special occasion that has been specially lined up for this grand event.

But some took it as a National "duty"... yes and I mean have to work on such days...
It was an inevitable to take a leave where they confessed that there's not enough manpower to cover the job for that day...

Its all crap shit talking.

[Some past photos in Electrical Lab]

Anyway.. whenever I got something in mind to say about... and to make the effort to blog it out... makes me soooooooo lazy... But somehow someday sometime.. I still have to kill the urge out..

Speaking about working... Worked and extended my shift last night... and yes went home by taxi.. covered by the company...

But what makes so interesting is that... just after we exit from the sortie, the taxi arrived... Farid got this feeling that the taxi driver is a "speeder"... I still can asked him curiously.. "Macam maner kao tau??" - basically asking him.. "how do you know that?"

The question just hung there.. but as I can recall.. Farid replied to me by saying.." Aku tengok muke dier dah tau.." ...which means.. by a glance of the taxi driver's face.. he knows that he's a speeder... haha....


For all in the blue world... He's so damn right ! The "racer" speed off from 20km/h to 160km/h ... regardless minor or major road.. and still I'm in the front seat.. wow.. I don't feel any adrenaline rushing.. but its so thrilling ! haha..

[ Sorry for the blur image, but just see the speedometer and the warning ]

The way he bent the vehicle ... till to the opposite road... speeding that auto transmission diesel-powered taxi... just makes me think 1 thing - That he is racing time for his rice bowl..

In another words... he want to sent the 3 of us as fast as possible... so that he could claim more from the company... - Pretty smart move there..but very risky... very...

Had some fued with another friend... but this time.. another party gets involve.. being so angry as if I've killed her whole family... but anyways.. I understand for being emotional.. cause I'm often one...


Well.. wishing people for a good bright day on national day ... never really had an optimistic respond as what you've expected...

Well maybe its time for me that.. the person I admire for some time.. doesn't feel like what I did...

Well...

That will be all.
Dismiss.




-Khai-

Guitar Hero.

As I keep on living in this world... I realise more and more people are labelling their nick names on the messenger with the word " Bella Luna " ... I know I know its one of those Jason Mraz's songs... but serious what in the world is this hmmm... word has an impact on???

Yea... as I read up those lyrics ... Basically its another wonderful love song written by him... but.. hmm.. maybe I've got to listen more to the song... Maybe the girls got "melted" listening to the chorus part or maybe the whole thing....






[some past weeks photos of the class outing at Tanjong Beach]






Anyway... as I keep reading other humans's blog post... I realise another thing.... is that I'm no where near perfect-speaking-good-decent english... with every hmm blogggggger... has its own bombastic and supernatural words that they use... I know I'm no where near them in terms of the language standard... as I told one of those humans recently... " just read my post as reading ABC vol. 1 .."

Of course, I'm being abit of a silent jealousy, probably I have to read more books... I mean story books.. like Harry Potter and the Two Towers or probably Lord of the Rings and the Sorceror's stone... right? hehe.

No doubt I always go for perfection. To perfect myself I need to improve on it... To improve on it.. I need to work on it.. ya ya ya.. what-fuckin-ever.

Next. Examinations are just 14 days away.. AND still no effort has been made... well the intention is always on my mind ... but to execute it .. requires aloooooooooooooot of will power... Yaya.. say so much.. just to sum up... : Lazy. simple said ..





Level of panic ? Somewhere at 60% ... indeed I'm scared about failing... its been awhile taking modules/subject exams since 2006 ...





and to make it worst.. I'm so unhealthy this days.. as in.. not feeling well.. ( heh do you humans really care..or is there any other humans reading this ...) .. it really gonna test my fortitude in this kind of situation...




[ Guitar Hero 3 ]





And yearh.. since the Playstation 2 has been fixed... I've tried to play my long time ever favourite game... Guitar Hero 3 ... and seriously... I suck to the core... Before that.. my fingers are like you know.. the squid tentacles... fast and all... heh now... keep on missing those buttons.. and not agile as before.. I really got to work on all these... reflexes and agility... if not I will be very dumb and slow... ( like you humans ever care..)


Probably I've got this Yoshiki's behaviour... follow with my own ego and emotions... towards certain things that I didn't get ... tantrums... all those violent moves you could ever think of..
yet again.. thats what I am..

[ Arsenal's new no. 19 - Jack Wilshere ]

Jack Wilshere. Another human very very talented young player who is only 16 years of age.. caught the eye of many people especially for the fans of Arsenal... He had scored against Vfb Stuttgart with a wonderful left legged volley.. after a spectacular cross from Gael Clichy which found the unmarked Jack Wilshere.. and he fired it home with only 2-touches...

He just been promoted to the first XI of the team.. and gets the number 19 shirt...

I want to see more of this kiddo in action... he's agility is superb and he is brave in challenging for the ball... You humans should take a look on how he ramped Guti during the game against Real Madrid.. haa..

Until then...



That will be all.
Dismiss.

-Khai-

Larkin.

Dreadful day .. have not enough sleep from some.. hmm.. err.. disturbance at night... in the end.. I used my ear muffer that I "got" during my attachment in Eurocopter... and use that to sleep...

yearh.. something happened last night.. and I can't shared it here..

anyway... had a good rest at 1 pm onwards... rest till like 4 pm...


Went to J.B .. to buy some new stuffs... and smuggle one box.. hehe..

While I was searching for some nice short pants... I keep on perspiring... I also wonder why I perspire like hell...

until the young shopkeeper was like so panic.. to find the fans... haha.. kalam kabot sak.


haha.. but then.. at one shop.. this ..hmm how should I say it... Tomboy-ish girl.. who attend the shop.. asked my mom.. " Dier kuat main bola ehk..?" Then mother without hesitation the word "YES" came out...

As for me... I could only stick my tongue out.. and said to myself.. " macam faham.." .. anyway.. just some highlights of the day..


because actually I'm not that healthy .. since the very early morning.. because of soccer and work.. as both of the amount of load work combined.. thus .. my body become overworked... and the result now .. having aches.. cramps... plus tiger balm plasters on the injured body parts...

the only good thing is the hard earn muscles... that one also cannot see..

PISANG BETOL...


anyway... the 7th lunar month is coming up.. I don't know first of all whether I said it correctly or not.. about the chinese calendar ... nevermind... just "bantai aje la"...

with all those burning incense... the day sure gonna be hot... and more people are getting sick.. for sure..

No. I'm not trying to be racist.. or to discriminate their religion.. is just what I think... it might be wrong .. it might be right...


Because right now.. I'm having this sore throat...

Probably the hot weather... wahh.. too weak to endure it ...

then how the BMT people train..?

arr.. MAMPOS ...




That will be all.
Dismiss.



-Khai-

New life...

Back in business ! ...Finally my freakin lovin' laptop is workin fine.. something about my 2GB memory .. which is corrupted... luckily my mom remind me about the on-site service for Acer which we had paid for during the notebook roadshow...

The so called "engineer"... did some checks on my hardware... at first was the hard-drive... which he change into a new one... and I was so damn sad and stoned ... because all of my work in that hard drive ... gone just like that... but right after he restart it... the same corrupted blue screen came out too..

He was then shocked too... haha.. I couldn't imagine the way he react upon that crashed error shown... In the end , he just switched the memory chip ... with the 1GB slot... and and the problem was then discovered...


What I've expect didn't expected.... the problem was really resolve today!

It make my day for awhile... yearh... yet there's this still feeling of missing someone.. hmmm..

This was my very first time I stayed back in school for a very long period of time... it was not tiring at all... but I got gastric for almost the whole day... anyway fuck it.. who would care about it..? - No-fuckin-one.

Why? Because I know... just take this blog for example. No other humans will view the petty blog of mine... except myself... when I everyday keep on reading my own post...

Nevermind... just tell me who will read this thing anyway..?

Now...

I didn't know that learning music is hell of a difficult thing to do...
after Dylan taught the class about chords and fingerings... its hell of a shit to learn all those "formal" procedure on playing the guitar... Good grieve.

The following days are sure going to get hotter with all those incent burning, joss sticks lighting, with "free food" on display for what they believe is for the dead spirits...


I guess I just suck in life..


Heh.. why all this are happening to me ..?


That will be all.
Dismiss.



-Khai-