She's BACK!

Last April, Teylor was playing in a tournament on a bitter cold, windy and snowy day.  We all froze to death on the sidelines while those tough little cookies played soccer.  It was miserable. While she was running, she rolled her ankle and hurt her foot.  And it hurt for a long time...all through Spring Soccer and Summer Tournaments... but she didn't complain too much.  She just kept on playing. And I kept thinking it would heal...

 Until it hurt too much to run... or walk... or sleep. Yikes. I finally got her a Doctor's appointment (in SEPTEMBER!  Ya, mom of the year...) and found out she had a fracture in her foot.  Holy sad.  I felt terrible!!  Needless to say, we got her in a boot the day before Fall Soccer started and she was out of commission for 5 weeks.

 Today was her first day back and she was nervous.  These games can be brutal... the girls are aggressive, so I don't blame her for not wanting to play.

 All I had to do was tell her to play her best so I could take some cool shots of her.  And she did.  She was all over the ball when she saw the camera in my hand.  Ha!  Cute girl.  

 She did AWESOME!  They didn't score on her once while she was goalie... and her team was happy to have her incredible drop kick back on the field.  Way to go TEY BUG!!  I'm pretty sure she got all of her athletic ability from her mom... yep. ;)

This pic was at the start of the game when she was almost refusing to play.  The look says it all. Awe, sweet girl.  

Scout Ninja

Kobe was asked to be a part of the Cub Scout choir for the "Event to Celebrate 100 Years of Scouting in the Church" at the Conference Center.  I know it will be an incredible experience for him, so I bribed him.  He will have Minecraft on my computer if he has a good attitude through this whole experience... A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Anyway, these photos were taken right before his first practice.  They asked the boys to wear their Scout uniform to each practice.  Notice the shirt... very wrinkled with NOTHING sewn on.  He has earned quite a few little badges and trinkets to go on that shirt, but I don't know how to sew.  Let me say that again more clearly... I have NO desire to know how to sew.  NONE.  When we got to the practice, I started to feel a little ashamed.  The shirts really do look nice when they are ironed and decorated with achievements.  I can iron... Maybe I can hot glue the badges on?  What cracks me up about these pictures is that this poor little guy is surrounded by women 24/7.  Well, he's with his Dad every other weekend, but other than that, he is with girls. None of us knew how to put on the silly scarf they were supposed to wear.  So when I asked Jessie to help him out, this is what he came out looking like. Jess called him the "Scout Ninja".  Bless his patient heart. 

The practice was AMAZING.  They had a conductor from UVU come teach 250, 8-11 year old boys the National Anthem. I have always loved the Star-Spangled Banner and often get teary-eyed listening to it (I blame that trait on my dad).  It will always mean more to me now after listening to that wonderful man teach it to those boys and then hearing them sing it.  It was amazing. And Kobe loved it! The Celebration is on October 29th and I can't wait to hear it with the trumpets and drums they are planning on.  It should be incredible! 

And...I'm done!

Today would have been my 20 year wedding anniversary.  I'm a little tender tonight...I won't lie. This post is going to be pretty raw and is fueled by frustration and some anger.  I will probably erase it someday...but for now, I'd like to write down my thoughts.  It's at this moment I wish so badly I was better at expressing how I feel...my words don't ever seem to get it quite right.  But I'll give it a try :)

My 30 day online dating experiment is officially over....whew!  And what do I have to show for it?? A little less faith in men,  a little more understanding of myself and a renewed and more fierce commitment to the law of chastity.

I met 7 men in 30 days. I have put them into 3 categories... NI (No Interest), P (Pervert) and MM (Meth Mouth).  3 were NI's, 3 were P's and 1 MM.  Do I need to explain MM??  He really was a nice guy who had been through SO much...a little too much for me to wrap my head around.

NI's were nice enough, but I felt NOTHING.  No interest at all.  And really, one of the worst parts of dating is telling a good man you aren't interested.  It breaks my heart and I try to avoid it at all costs. Although, I have learned that being honest about it quickly is best, but it still SUCKS.

The men I want to vent about today are the P's.  These are the men who claim to be "good LDS" men who say all the right things and look the part...but are only after one thing from women.  Now I have to say - I understand the loneliness of divorce and the pang of missing affection and closeness with someone. Honestly, that's one of the most difficult parts of divorce.  So I get that.  But it makes me sad when men who are probably good people, confuse women as objects or sex as love. Chastity is something they should be protecting.  A virtuous woman is something they should admire. Right? The frustrating part of this is that it seems to be the norm.  It's so accepted, especially in this LDS mid-single lifestyle I am now a part of.  It's almost like, because it's so hard to stay chaste after you've been married, that Heavenly Father must not really expect that from us. I even had one guy tell me that I would never find a man willing to wait for marriage and that I was going to be single for the rest of my life if I didn't just give into it.  He told me I was deceived and he was VERY disappointed in me... :/ He needed a kick in the crotch. So much more could be said...so many more details could be given...but you get the gist.

I have to say, in the past year, I have met some wonderful, GOOD men who for various reasons haven't worked out. THEY give me hope. And I have the best dad, bros and bro-in-laws on earth. They are exceptional men who treat women with respect and kindness. I know that there is someone out there for me...I'm just not going to find him on Match.com because I am done with online dating. FOREVER.

I love the story of Rebekah and Isaac... It always makes me smile and fills me with hope.  The best part of the story is when Rebekah first saw Isaac and he first saw her. For "virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light."  When Isaac went out to meet the caravan, Rebekah "lighted off her camel."  And then it says, "And he loved her." Awe!  That's what I'm talking about!

Jess Bess

  It was just Jess and I for the whole weekend! Awe...I loved it so much.  It's not that I don't love being with Tey and Kobe, but having Mom/Daughter time doesn't happen very often anymore and we have so much fun together. One of the BEST parts of the weekend was the fact that I didn't have to tell her to "PLEASE be nice" to Teylor and Kobe. Ha! Here are a few reasons why I adore her so much:

Jess is hilarious.  She has a very quick, witty sense of humor and loves to make people laugh.  Combine that with her sassy, fiery personality (who doesn't put up with ANY crap) and you've got this wonderfully sarcastic little lady.  For example:  We were late to church on Sunday... why?? I asked Jess to curl my hair and we were doing each others makeup and such.  You know, really important things... anyway, when we got there we had missed the bread and were standing in the hall.  The sweet little Deacon came out with the water, saw us and didn't come over to give us any (knowing we hadn't been there for the bread) and Jessie's response had me giggling.  She said, "That's it!  I'm writing a letter to the Bishop.  He didn't even give us the opportunity to take the Sacrament!  Oh, I'm ragin'. He is just grindin' my gears mom."  She is serious and kidding at the same time and it cracks me up. I tell her to stop through my laughter...not very effective parenting.  Also, during the closing prayer, they asked a blessing for anyone with "special needs"... we both elbowed each other and started laughing silently. She talks non-stop and tells me every detail of everything.  Sometimes I get distracted when she is talking to me and she'll say "all you do is text mom..."  So we compared texting numbers. I had 1500 and she had over 10,000.  Not even joking.  She is always on her phone, is incredibly fast AND can carry on two conversations at once.  I don't have that capability.    

This girl has had a boyfriend since 5th grade (not the same one...lots of different boys) so when she got asked to Homecoming it wasn't a big surprise.  I'm just happy she has waited this long before going on an official date...she will be a month away from 16! Hallelujah. It hasn't been easy and she and I have had MANY talks about boys and dating...I just hope she'll want to get married someday after all of my warnings. It is weird to go places with her and watch the guys checking her out...I find myself giving many dirty looks.

Jess is the most responsible 15 year old I've ever known.  She didn't get that quality from me... I was no where near that at 15...or 25 really.  Maybe it comes from being the 1st child, or it's just her personality.  But she takes care of everything.  She is on the Riverton Drill Team this year and has to be there at 5:30 every morning.  She is the one dragging my lazy butt out of bed to drive her there.  I don't have to worry about her, she takes care of herself and works hard at everything she does.  I love that. I feel very blessed that she was sent to me.  I have said this often - honestly, I don't know what I would do without her.  My sweet little girl. She is the best.

How many Hilton's does it take to change a light bulb??

A comment my mom made on my last post got me to thinking.  She complimented me on my adaptability skills.  I am good at adapting...it's one of my strengths...I can handle changes and do what needs to be done and usually, happily. It's also one of my weaknesses...it's kept me in hard/bad/annoying situations that I could have changed for the better instead of just dealing with.

Here's an example:  I did my hair in the dark this morning.  Why??  Because all of the light bulbs were burned out in my bathroom.  I was in such a hurry, I just kept doing my hair and make-up in the dark. It did occur to me that it would only take a few minutes to change the light bulbs, but instead, I just lived with darkness.  I started looking around my house and noticed many lights burned out. In Teylor's room (who, bless her heart, is JUST like her mom) she has a head lamp duct taped to her light because her bulbs are burned out. How long has she been living in the dark?? Who knows??

That's just one (silly) example to the long list.  SO...for the 39th year of my life I am going to work on being more of a problem solver than a problem adapter.  This is going to take courage and bravery on my part. It means I'm going to have to speak up and have an actual OPINION about my life.

AND I'm changing all of the light bulbs today after work.  ALL of them :)

This is my theme song for this goal...  LOVE it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4

First Day of School 2013

"So kids... how do you feel about starting school today??" 

These pics show my kids personalities pretty perfectly...

 

That look says it all...

Sophomore in High School

I'm SOOO excited! :)

7th Grade in Middle School

A little nervous...

5th Grade in Elementary School

Yes, I have 3 kids in 3 different schools.  Don't ask me how I'm going to make it all work, because I have no idea.  I'm just happy they aren't home all day anymore :)

100th Post

Now that I'm a single gal, I have some new and interesting experiences that really should be shared.  I won't give too many details to protect the innocent (or in this case..the idiotic).

Online dating is AWFUL.  Anyone who has experienced it knows what I'm talking about.  I have a wonderful friend who encouraged me to give on-line dating a serious effort for 30 days and then he apologized in advance for all of the crap I would endure through it all. Here is my first experience in my 30 day adventure:

I can't even remember his profile...but I must have thought he was okay.  We started messaging, which turned to texting, which turned to a phone call or two, which turned to meeting.  That is the way it normally goes. We chose to meet at an ice cream place...it's safe and in case things are horrible...quick. When I walked in and saw him sitting there, my heart sank.  Not because he looked bad, I just didn't want to meet anyone new.  I didn't want to be with him at all. Am I ready for this 30 day experiment?? Hmm...

He was really tall - like 6'5" and hugging him was awkward.  Now I know...no one over 6'3" and no one under 5'8".  My list is getting more narrow...  He wasn't bad looking, but had a big soul patch that was a bit off center...to the left. I wanted to point out that he was 45 years old and the soul patch wasn't working out but I didn't.

First thing he did was look me up and down. Sometimes that can be flattering, but not by him.  It was creepy.  He started telling me how great I looked and was standing SO close to me.  He was very touchy... my arm, my back, my LEG. Yikes.  He was making me very uncomfortable.  We got some yogurt and had a seat to talk.  He started telling me about his ex-wife in a very negative way (ANOTHER RED FLAG) and telling me how she was just gone one day out of the blue. "Took the kids and left..." ummm...that sounds like an abusive situation to me. Then he actually said, "Jaime, I would never hurt you.  I'm not that kind of guy." The fact that he specified that in the first 10 minutes of our first date, made me believe that he just might be that kind of guy.  Who knows...  Anyway, I suggested that we take a walk because the talking was drawing too much attention from other customers and I was beyond uncomfortable.  So, we started strolling around outside where he tried to HOLD MY HAND.  Okay, not such a big deal, but I was not feeling it.  I automatically pulled my hand away.  His response was, "you don't want to hold hands?? Okay, but maybe it would be nice to walk and hold hands..."  I folded my arms. He thought that was funny...

Our conversation turned to relationship needs/wants. He started saying stuff like, "So, if we get MARRIED would you want to have more kids?" and "if we date and you don't like this soul patch...I would shave it off for you...I'm not attached to it."  All this stuff about our future dating and possible marriage. How did I respond to these questions??  Oh my patented nervous laughter and non-committal nodding of the head.  I always respond too late...it takes me a minute to process and he was not giving me a minute :)

At one point in this one sided conversation, he said my name. I looked up at him to see him coming towards me for our first kiss.  Wait...WHAT??  My response surprised me because it was so rude (I guess I can respond correctly when forced).  I said, "Dude.  Don't kiss me right now."  He said, "why not?  If we're going to start dating, we're going to kiss at some point.  Why not now?  Why not have some fun...you might even enjoy it."  EWWWWWW!!!  I said, "well, we've known each other for 5 minutes...I'm not ready for any kissing.  And your soul patch is getting more atrocious every minute." (okay I didn't say that last part, but that's what I was thinking...).  It didn't even phase him...he just kept on talking and touching me.  I made an excuse that I needed to get back to work and that the date was over.  He offered to walk me back to the office... I told him I like to keep business and personal lives separate and that I didn't want to answer any questions from my co-workers... again, he was not phased by that.  So, he said he'd walk me to the elevators. Alrighty, two more minutes with this guy... no harm, right?  Well, on the escalator, he chose to stand one step down from me so our faces were more on the same level,  he then put his arm tightly around my waist and came in for a very fast kiss, before I could even think of rejecting him. And then he smugly smiled at me like he was such a STUD. I pictured myself kneeing him in the crotch, grabbing his hair and breaking his nose with the same said knee. But, we were in a public place, I was in a skirt AND I have slow reactions.   What a moron (him, not me).

I was very clear that I was NOT interested in ever seeing him again after that.  He was shocked.

The next morning he texted me and said, "Just one question... why did you act so interested if you weren't?" AHHHH!!  I didn't respond, because he was just trying to goad me into a verbal battle.  I wanted to say, "I was being kind, you idiot."  What would you say??

Oh well, another one bites the dust.