Junior Worship Leader

This year I was lucky enough to be asked to lead worship at our church's Women's Retreat. It was an incredible experience! It was my first time to lead worship all alone, but I wasn't exactly all alone...Presley would be born just fourteen days later!

That weekend I felt her kicking and moving during our worship times and I loved that she was there with me. It made the experience just priceless. What I love even more is, now that she's here, when she's really fussy and upset she immediately stops crying when I sing to her. "Wonderful, Merciful Savior" and "How Great Thou Art" are favorites. :o) How cool is that? How great is our God!

I Confess...

I have to let you in on a secret--God makes me laugh. Especially when He's dealing with me.

No sooner had I written my last post, "A Beautiful Life" than we had a pretty good financial crisis. Or we are now having one anyway. It got me really frustrated. And annoyed. I had my time to panic and then be angry. I started to ask the why's and how's. Why are we destined to wander this wilderness again, and how are things going to work out this time. For 24 hours I had a good pity party. How quickly I went from "thanks for the beautiful life" to "seriously could this be easier please?"

The next morning I spent quietly talking to the Lord (or as best as I could with a four-year-old and a newborn!) and He seemed to say, "Valerie, chill out! We've done this before. Trust me." And I'm sure He then said to Himself, "Valerie, you schmuck!" Believe! Trust! Why are these things so naturally hard for me? Unless things are going well, I am a natural panic-er.

Then, to really put the sting in conviction, it just so happend that that day and the days to come on Facebook, several friends "status updates" revealed much bigger pains than mine. Two friends from high school are battling cancer, two friends from work had lost beloved friends unexpectedly, and our friends from church are still trying to recover from a freak accident that has left the husband in the hospital for over a month. Saying "well at least we have our health" has never felt more true.

So I just felt compelled to confess all this here to all the world, or at least the three people who read my blog. :o) I confess that I am self-centered and a natural worrier. I confess that I can go from "A Beautiful Life" to "Holy Crap" in less than 24-hours. I confess that without Jesus I am a total mess.

And, if you are reading my blog, feel free to keep me accountable to my resolve to believe and trust when I start to whine. (Come on, we all know I will!) :o)

A Beautiful Life

It's been five-and-a-half weeks since our family was completed with Miss Presley's arrival. In such a short amount of time, I can't imagine our lives without her. Patrick and I spent my whole pregnancy wondering if we would like the change in our lives, if four would be as great to us as three had been. It's even better than we could have imagined.

In these days around our nation times are tough. The economy is struggling, families are struggling, people are struggling. Yet when I think about our little life right now, I realize just how blessed we are. Sure, things could be easier, but truly my dreams have come true. I have a husband that is absolutely my best friend. There's nothing I can't tell him, and in troubled times there's no one else I would want by my side. And my children...oh my children! What a treasure they are. I can't believe I have a boy AND a girl! Honestly, that is a huge God-thing to me. It's like, it wasn't enough for Him to bless me with a family, it had to be the family I always wanted! A loving husband, a little boy and a precious girl.

I am humbled by God's desire to give me, chief of sinners, a beautiful life. I'm listening to a song right now that speaks my only response to Him:

"With my hands lifted high

With all my heart, I give you my life

Take every part of me

And use me as You please

Here's my life."

A Word from the Lord...

On Saturday I decided it was time to put my new "mother of two" status to the test and take the kids out on my own. I had planned on taking Tucker and Presley to Mardel so Tucker could play with the trains and then joining Patrick for dinner.

After careful planning and preparation (you know you have to plan and prepare for these things moms!) I had things timed out perfectly. Tucker would get up from his nap, I would nurse Presley, then pack everyone up and be on our way. Well of course that didn't happen. Tucker was moving slow as molasses, Presley was wailing, he wasn't dressed, her bag wasn't packed and I was getting very frustrated. Unfortunately my frustrations were being unpacked on my four-year-old.

When we finally got in the car and on our way, I turned and apologized to Tucker for being grouchy with him. He said, "It's okay Mama, I forgive you." Well that melted my heart, and then he followed up with, "Mama...happiness is of the Lord."

Ouch. The sting of conviction...from a four-year-old! The Lord certainly speaks!

Four Great Weeks

Today Presley is four weeks old. I can't believe it. Patrick has declared her to be our last child, (but check in with us in about three or four years...I just may have my way yet!), and because of this I am trying to drink in every precious moment.

I love her baby noises and sounds. I love holding her and singing to her and talking to her. I adore watching Tucker with her. (I don't, however, love that she eats every two hours, regardless of day or night, but the positives far outweigh the negatives!) But even when we are on our ump-teenth feeding of the day, I still love having her close to me and starting a bond that will last forever.

Patrick and I both agree that she has changed so much from when she was born. Now that she's closer eight pounds her little frame has filled out a lot. She definately has a distinct personality, and while she's not a big crier she certainly has a way of letting you know she's not having it! Her sounds, her frame, her face...she's so distinctly Presley.

I'm growing to love her more and more each day, something I wasn't sure was going to happen. Four short weeks ago I couldn't fathom loving another child the way I love Tucker, and today I can't fathom loving her any other way.

I have no idea what the future holds for Presley and I, but one thing I do know...she will be loved.