In life, there will be rains and pains. A saying goes, "A smooth sea doesn't make a skilful sailor." Perhaps the storms of lives are trials and tests set by the Creator up there. Through those obstacles in life, we will be refined and renewed each time, preparing us for a greater mission in life. Trials are not to provoke us, but to allow us to prove it to ourselves that we can do it.

The Lord never places His children in circumstances that they will not be able to handle. The Lord knows your limit and the strength you have. Do not under-estimate ourselves. By faith, many miraculous things are accomplished in the bible itself. Let us put our faith in God and I believe that with Him, nothing is impossible.

When things doesn't seem right. When the work seems to tough for us to handle. Do not lose heart. The Lord provides strength for the weak. Though He did not promise that we will never fall. However, He promised to grant us the strength to make another stand.

What shall we complain then? If the Lord is on our side, then what and who can be against us?

God has not promised skies always blue,
flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
God has not promised sun without rain,
joy without sorrow, peace without pain.

But God has promised strength for the day,
rest for the labour, light for the way,
grace for the trials, help from above,
unfailing sympathy, undying love.

Lord, I do not know how should I thank you. You are just so amazing that words alone can't express my deepest gratitude. You are really like my father (indeed You are) and I am Your son. A father never fails his son. He grants everything, almost everything that his son requests for. And that is so lovely and so touching. Oh Daddy, You've touched me. You've shown me that You still cares and You will never fail me. You meet all my needs. You granted all my wishes. Lord, it's simply so wonderful that I just can't believe it.

The Lord will provide. He surely will. You've proved it to me again and again. In my darkest hours, You reached out to me through many different amazing ways. In my most painful times, You comforted me in many wonderful ways. At my most helpless moment, Lord You gave me strength to move on.

The Lord gives wisdom. Lord, You gave me the sense of maturity. You allowed me to think wisely in every situation. You gave me the wisdom to make every decision.

Lord, I simply love you.

Hmm.. will be away for Genting from 26 - 28 April.

Daddy God, thank you for this plan. I know that this is an answered prayer. Yes, you've shown me that you care. You've convinced me that you're there. You've won my heart, once again. I love you daddy. But now Lord, I have another request. You know it. I am sure.

Along the road of life I have a friend divine,
who walks with me gently leads the way;
he gives me joy and makes the darkest night to shine,
it is my Lord who won my heart one day.

And Lord, I know that this is just another test. I promise I'll be strong. I promise You that I'll move on. I will complete this journey in the name of Jesus. I will finish the race to give You the highest honour. I will live on, for Your glory. I will testify, Your love.

And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the Spirit of God
Yes, I will run the race
'Til I see Your face
Oh, let me live in the glory of Your grace

Through many examples, You've told me that You love me most and You know me best. More than anything and better than everything. You seen through everything before I managed to catch a glimpse of them. When You see the danger, You'll pull me out. When you find the opportunity, You'll put me in. Daddy, I want to tell you this. That I love you. More than anything. And everything that I can ever offer.

More than anything
He wants Them to know
He'd rather die than let them go
'Cause God love people more than anything

You always lend me a shoulder when I needed it most. You gave me the only listening ears, that no other will offer. You listen to every sorrow, every complaint. You never find them boring. You listen to each and every prayer I made. Those foolish ones too. And You never laugh or get annoyed by them. Instead, You just did as I asked. Unconditionally. How grateful can I get? Nothing can measure.

Hear my prayer, O Lord,
Hear my prayer,
And let my cry come unto Thee.
Hide not Thy face from me,
Hide not Thy face.
O hear my prayer, O Lord,
Hear my prayer.

When I am down. You would always send people to comfort me. And it's You Lord, I find eternal peace. I do not know what to say to You. I know I don't deserve all Your love and grace. I am a sinner. Someone who committed many deadly sins. You should've condemned me. But Daddy, You did not. Yet You took me in. You hold me close and let Your love flowing throughout me. You keep me from every harm. You need not create me. You chose to. For that, I give You praise.

I will never stop praising You
For all the things You’ve done for me
And I’ll be Yours forever
Jesus You are everything to me

I drifted away from You. Yet You never left as I did. Instead, You stayed there, knowing that someday I'd need You again. The open arms. The warmth of Your love. The fullness of Your embrace. Lord, I mean Daddy. You are great. No, the greatest.

Was when He ran to me
Took me in His arms,
Held my head to His chest,
Said, My son's come home again
Looked in my face
Wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said, Son, Do you know I still love you?
He caught me my surprise
When God ran

You see me through each day. A renew grace and forgiveness each day. There is nothing that I can ask for more. You carry me through each day, no matter what it takes. But I took them for granted. I rejected You. It's just like a second, third and fourth crucifixion. Yet You didn't give me up. Because Your love is so great. Condemnation is never in Your vocabulary. But forgiveness and acceptance are everywhere.

You lead me through each day
Your Love it covers me
And when I feel afraid
Your Love it covers me
Restorer of my soul
Your Love it covers me
Your presence makes me whole
Your Love it covers me

How much praises do I have to give? How much worship do I have to offer? Knowing that You paid the price for me, that I could never repay. A man hung on the cross, saying "Father, forgive them." How noble is the man. How great the sacrifice. How wonderful the forgiveness. And how powerful is the blood. I can never comprehend. But I know, that everything that You have done, is for the sake of Love. For the sake of my freedom. For the sake of my survival. For the sake of my second life. For the sake of salvation.

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so

For an unworthy person such as I, You gave Your life away. You took me in without wanting anything in return. Except my heart and commitment. But Lord, I failed You countless times. I am sorry.

For now Lord, I'll do anything that You want me to. I am willing to do anything that glorify You. Let my light shine again for You. At all cost, I will, and yes I mean I will, do as You say. Show me the next step, and I will follow. For I know that if You bring me to it, You will definitely bring me through it. I believe. Daddy God.

Shepherd of my soul, I give You full control
Wherever You may lead I will follow
I have made the choice, to listen to Your voice
Wherever You may lead, I will go

This unworthy life, I am giving it up to You. Take me as I am. Use me, Lord.

Take me, take me as I am
Show me, show me what I am to be
Write for me, write for me the melody
Take me as I am

Amen.

How will I know what lies ahead?
How long will it take to see the sunrise again?
The path so rocky
The wave so strong
How can I ever live the future unknown?

The mountains may touch the skies
The rain may flood the plains
And there may be so much I don't comprehend
But I will always know whom to trust in
And whose hands to hold on
It is only in the Savior's arms
That I can forever stand.

Will the sun still rise tomorrow?
When will the darkness come to an end?
The valley so cold
The wind so tough
How am I going to walk the journey alone?

The sky may not be always blue
The thunders may roar ceaselessly
And things may not even seem logical
But I shall never drift away again
And nothing shall keep us apart
It is only because of You
That living is considered worthwhile

Dear Lord, are you speaking to me through the people around?

I have to admit that I have not been praying hard about God opening a way for me to attend church. This is because I do not really understand or know the reason or reasons that forbid me of going to church.

Is it really the timing that matters? or

Is it that I've lost passion for Christ?

I do not know which one is true. But perhaps I would still consider the second one. If I had the burning passion to live for Christ, I'd have the urge or a strong will to get myself to attend church regularly - no matter what's the obstacles. But the situation is, I myself did not fight for it. I simply passed reasons like "the timing is not right." or "i dunno how to tell my parents." But am I really quoting the truths? or perhaps half-truths. I've said many times that I wanted to pray about it. I sounded so convincing and enthusiastic, but in the end, I did not do as I said. What's happening in me? I've got to be brave and committed to be a believer of Christ, to be His crusader. But at current situation, can I?

Most Christians at my age (spiritual life) are already thinking on how to save souls and keep souls. Many around me are already very stable in their spiritual lives. But me? One with a messy life that's heading to the "beyond redemption" stage. How can I commit myself to the Great Commission? I don't even have a good testimony to tell. How am I going to tell others about Christ? Tell them that "if you become a Christian, you'll be like me"? NO!

But no, it's not God's fault at all. It's like in a situation when you are thirsty, and there is water. However, you do not have a proper "instrument" to contain the water in order to drink. You did not make an effort to find the container yet you are complaining that you are thirsty. Actually, you just need to stretch out your hands, hold your palms together and get the water. This has two meanings. First, God is like the water. He is there when you need Him. However you often think that you need to have something (outstanding qualities etc.) to have Him. However, the truth is, you only have to stretch out your hands to receive Him and you will have Him. Second, there is no point asking for strength when you don't play your part. God provides the energy and strength for you to walk. However, you need to contribute the legs for the strength to act upon. This is common is life. You often think that God doesn't help you and God doesn't care. However, it's the direct opposite. He is always there for you. But you need to help yourself too.

It's my fault. I did not contribute what is need - faith. God has already done His part. It's my turn now, to complete the race.

Lu feng talked to me just now. Regarding me returning back to Emmaus. However, I do not know what to do next. Perhaps I would first seek His guidance before making any decision. I do not want to miss God's word again. I do not wish to miss His calling again. I want to be a faithful Christian once again - one that shines brightly for Christ.

Really bright.

I got the above statement from a chinese flash clip. The moment this statement was narrated during the clip, it caused a certain level of impact on me. I find it really meaningful but I have yet to fully comprehend its meaning. The direct translation is "True love doesn't mean substitution, but the eternal presence in the heart."

It's your promises that keep my faith burning.
It's your forgiveness that keeps my life flowing.
It's your grace that keeps my dreams flying.
It's your love that I will forever sing.

Lord, it's in you I find peace.
("...he promises peace to his people.." - Psalm 85:8)
Lord, it's in you I find rest.
("Come to me, ...and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28)
Lord, it's in you I see hope.
("...plans to give you hope and a future. " - Jeremiah 29:11)

You love me like no one ever will.
You treat me like treasured possession.
You took me in during my most unholy moment.
You granted me love when I needed it most.

Lord, it's in you I see life.
("I am the way and the truth and the life..." - John 14:6)
Lord, it's in you I receive salvation.
("The LORD... has become my salvation." - Exodus 15:2)
Lord, it's in you I receive love.
("...and I too will love him and show myself to him." - John 14:21)

My shame, You've taken them away.
My pain, You've healed them in Your name.
My sin, You've taken them to the cross.
My past, You've long forgotten them.

I've not been blogging for six days. Should I say that lots of things have happened or should I say that life is boring. As life is always a matter of perspective. Well, but above all, let me settle the more pressing issue. I reformatted my comp. And before I did that, I transferred all my photos, documents and songs into three cd-rw and a 750mb zip disk. However, when I was going to transfer the files back, I realised that one of the cd has been scratched and one part of the files I was only able to extract part of the files. Thus, I've lost many songs. Mostly christian songs. Thus, I would need the help of you guys. If you have the following songs, could you please send it to me?

01. Blessed - Hillsong

02. Can't stop praising

03. Church on fire

04. Come now is the time to worship

05. Deeper in love

05. Everymove I make

06. Friends in high places

07. Give them all to Jesus

08. Give us clean hands

09. He will carry you

10. Hear our praises

11. Heaven is in my heart

12. Heaven on the inside of me

13. History maker

14. How I long for you

15. I simply live for you

16. It is you - Hillsong

17. It's your blood

18. Jesus what a beautiful name

19. Just let me say

20. I will run to you

21. I will wait upon the Lord

22. King of Majesty

23. Knowing you

Anyways, I've started my journey with the Left Behind Series by Tim LaHaye. It's about the earth's last days. Thirteen books in total. I am currently on the 150th page of the 500-pages book. It's a great book and it's addictive (according to jon cho). Yes, I do agree to a large extent. Do get one if you have time for it.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End." Revelations 22:13

Have you ever realised that each song is just like a blank sheet of paper, where you "compose" your memories and thoughts onto them. And you would eventually stop listening to that song and start your journey with another one. However, if you happen to listen to them again, those memories and feelings that you have long forgotten, are running through your mind again. This often result in another pain and perhaps giving you the feelings of being regretful. The similar thing happen to me when I suddenly have the thought of listening to songs that I've not been listening for quite some time. And those memories just started to appear and run through my mind, for unknown reasons. Perhaps unknowingly, I have written and carved my memories on it. Who knows.