Friends, are we still?

Friends, they build up your morale when you are down.

Friends, they love you for who you are.

Friends, they deserve your trust.

Friends, they share your joy and sorrows.

Friends, they never despise nor judge you for who you are.

Friends, they do not look down on you for who you are.

Friends, they protect you from others.

But sometimes, I really do not know whether they are truly my friends.

From unknown strangers, we met each other for the first time. We shaked our hands and gave each other the first smile. Everything started from that point. When we became friends. There was nothing that we didn't share. Our fame and our shame. We hide nothing from one another. Yes, that's trust we called. The friendship grew throughout these few years. From a pre-matured secondary one kids, we grew together to become men. There is a point when I made you one of my closest friend. I knew you could be trusted. And that's what I knew - I thought.

Time never show mercy. It flew at a speed that I can never imagine. Perhaps people do change over time. Just like food that will expire. What about the friendship that we nurtured? What about that? We turned different ways. We walked on different paths. But I was ceaselessly trying to restore what have been in store - the strong friendship. You just walked away I alone was unable to prevent it from fading.

The one whom I thought I could trust, despised me. Be it intentionally or unintentionally. You dig out my past and shared it as a joke. You thought it was funny and you thought I wouldn't mind. My Pal, try putting yourself in my shoes. Were those actions belong to a friend? I do not know. I can't comprehend anything. I dare not judge you.

I do not know whether I should continue to call you my friend. Or did you ever mean it when you take me as your friend? Ten years down the road, when you hear my name, would you say, "That's my friend", or would you say "Who is that?". I am not that brave to think that far. Friends are friends forever. But is there an ending for "forever"? Can you tell me?

But for now, I would still take you as my friend. But would you do the same to me? Or would this friendship be faded and never be mentioned again for eternity?

I will be your friend forever, yes I will, because the welcome never ends.

Lying on the sofa this morning watching some television channels, tuning in to different channels during commercial breaks. I suddenly heard some noises coming from the carpark below. It seemed to be caused by some kids playing catching. I did not bother and continued enjoying my show. When I happened to tune in to Channelnewsasia, I noticed that they've put up a latest news column at the bottom saying that an eathquake of magnitude 8.7 occured at northern sumatra. It was around 12.20am then. The journalists went to few housing estates interviewing the residents who felt tremors caused by the earthquake. Well, I didn't feel a thing though. However, heard that residents of the nearby blocks felt the tremors and they rushed down to the carpark. Perhaps the foundation of my block is stronger? Well, God knows.

I stayed tune to CNA until I finally dozed off after supper. It was around 2.00am I guess. I woke up again at 7.30am to check out the latest update at PRIMETIME MORNING. 300 dead at Nias Island - - - 2000 dead at Nias Island - Indonesian VP - - - Pacific countries withdraw tsunami alerts. Thank God! No more tsunamis please!

Although tsunamis were not triggered. The quake alone has cost 2000 lives - innocent lives. Why did God allow this to happen? Is this another blessing in disguise? I dare not jump into any conclusion. What's more important now is to pray hard that this kind of disaster would not happen again. If it were to, perhaps one with slight damage will do.

This once again showed us how weak and fragile life is. Just a little quake and you paid your lives. Life is short, we should use it to the fullest. Let us not be pulled down by obstacles but let us grow stronger each day, with the help of the Lord.

There is no problem too big,

God cannot solve it.

There is no mountain too tall,

He cannot move it.

There is no storm to dark,

God cannot calm it.

There is no sorrow too deep,

God cannot soothe it.

Let's pray for those who lost their loved ones in this disaster. May peace and comfort be upon them wherever they go. May God be with them, soothing them, comforting them. May they be strong and move on with their lives.

If He carried the weight of the world,upon His shoulder,

I know my brother that He, will carry you.

If He carried the weight of the world, upon His shoulder,

I know my sister that He, will carry you

He said, "Come unto me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest."

One King
-Point of Grace

Kings of earth on a course unknown
Bearing gifts from afar
Hoping praying
Following yonder star

Silhouette of a caravan
Painted against the sky
Wise men searching
For the holy child

One king held the frankincense
One king held the myrrh
One king held the purest gold
One King held the hope of the world

A star hangs over Bethlehem
A journey ends in the night
Three kings trembling
Behold the glorious sight

Heaven's treasure Emmanuel
Drawing men to bow down
Tiny baby born to wear a crown

Have you ever had this experience? That when you are missing someone so hard, and she suddenly sent you an sms. Though she did not appear before me, though I could not hear her, and though it's just a normal sms, it sufficed. The sender may not understand how much that message means to me.

Does she know that I've been waiting for her messages since some time ago?

Does she know that I've been missing her all day long?

Most importantly, does she know that she's been in my heart?

I doubt so.

There has been an emptiness in my heart for quite some time. I once thought that that emptiness was just an illusion and it will be alright after a while. I made a wrong judgment. I thought that singlehood is the best. I was wrong again. I need someone out there to fill that space, that empty space.

If I were the old-me, I'd have gone around looking for "potential" person to fill that space. Now, it's no longer the past. I allowed nature to take its course. And perhaps this is how the nature works.

Whenever I see her, there is such joy and completeness in my heart. I felt that every time.

Just like a flame,
You're burning in my soul
You wake me from the cold
You make me real

Though she may seem childish like a six-year-old child sometimes, she moves my heart. Perhaps it's because of this, I like to tease her time and again. Seeing her irritated is an "enjoyment of life". No, I am not a saddist. I mean, a guy would always tease the girl that he likes.

And like a flame
You brighten up my world
Every corner bears a print of you
You really make me feel brand new

I do not know whether this is love. Because till now, I can only say that I only loved a person in my life (other than God). And that's the previous her. Well, I'd let everything starts off as friendship, building a stronger trust and stronger bond. And yes, letting nature takes its course.

Like a flame
You grow within my heart forever more
You make me feel brand new

She makes me feel brand new.

God, the someone whom we returned to when we encounter obstacles in lives. Someone whom we cannot see but feel. Someone whom we praise. Someone who we got our freedom from. Someone we called Jesus. But am I really placing Him as first priority in my life?

Seek Ye first the kingdom of God

And His righteousness

And all these things shall be given unto you

Alleu, Alleluia

I was being described as someone who burnt really hotly for Him. For once, He became the most important part of my life. I proclaimed His power and I shone brightly for Him. I went around telling people how great, how wonderful and how privileged it is to know Him - to be someone called Christian. I thought that would continue forever and there would be no ending for that passion to burn for Christ. And yes, I thought.

Lord I will burn for you

Lord I will burn for you

That was what I thought. I do not know why - perhaps I know. Neither do the people around me - close friends or not. Something just happened. Perhaps it's temptations, which probably was. I fell. The burning passion was minimized and gradually put-out. And darkness started to conquer the light within me. I no longer shine for Christ. From a genuine Christian, I became one by name. I knew that I've crucified Him again. I know the truth but I am running away from it. Well, I can run away from people but I can never run away from God.

Crucified, laid behind a stone

You live to die

Rejected and alone

Like a rose, trampled on the ground...

I was drifted away. Drifting further... and further. Should this be an end for me? No, God won't allow that to happen. And it was proven that His love is always flowing and His grace is always being showered upon me. He protects me still. He still listened to my half-hearted prayers. He answered. He could choose to give up but He didn't. He left the door opened for me. He is constantly inviting me to enter and enjoy His everlasting goodness.

Though He may be sad to see the way we lived.

But He'll say "I forgive."

And because of that unconditional forgiveness, I was brought back. From nothing, He restored me back into something. Someone He treasured. Someone He will always love. And Yes! That's my Jesus, my God.

God - beyond description.

I'm captured by Your holy calling

Set me apart I know you're drawing me to Yourself

Lead me Lord I pray...

I shall never stray again. Thinking about the nails that pierced Hid hands. Thinking about the crown that torn His brow. I can never bear to leave Him again.

Once again I looked upon the cross where you died

I'm humbled by your mercy and I'm broken inside

Once again I love you

Once again I pour out my life.

On My Cross

How wide is Your love
That You would stretch Your arms
And go around the world
And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard

I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
And after You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

How deep is Your grace
That you could see my need
And chose to take my place
And then for me, these words I'd hear You say

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That peirced your hands
And your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as you said it would be
You did it all for me
And after you counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That peirced your hands
And your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that feel down
And just as u said it would be
You did it all for me
And after u counted the cost
You took my shame
My blame on my cross

After u counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

- FFH

"We can survive without love right?" This statement belongs to one of the smses from Kania. I can neither agree nor disagree with her on that. Love, the word with many definitions. The term that is so hard to comprehend. What is it exactly?

I once thought I knew it. Very well. I gave my all in that something called love. I expected something in return - love. I tried my best to love and I did all I could. However, all I got was rejection. I know not why. Many asked me to let go and told me that someday I'd find someone who will appreciate this piece of love that I am offering. I was stubborn then. I held on. It was not an ideal decision. Sometimes I just had to lie to myself in order to motivate me. But a lie is always a lie. It helped nothing but prolonged my agony. I believed in another thing called "Wait". For that word, I held on again and again but fell down after each time. I got all those upon myself and I deserved it.

No, that was not love. Perhaps only a one-sided one.

Then I realised that giving up was no longer a choice for me. But an obligation. And that concluded the "love" that I once thought was. That ended off with my secondary school life. But I have no regrets at all. Because... I'd still treasure the memories I had living with that definition of love.

Life wasn't easy at the first place. Little people can adapt to changes in their lives. It was like leaving your most treasured possession behind and carry on with life without looking back at all. However, one can't always live in an illusion. There is something called reality and that's what everyone should face. She's never mine and never will she be mine. Stubborness will only make life miserable. And because of this, I am adapting to life without her.

Actually staying single isn't a bad thing. You will realised that you start to have a wider circle of friends and you can talk freely to them without having to worry about committment. And it is often said that friends are the ones who know you better compared to lover. I do not know whether it's true - I've never had a lover. At least I felt better hanging out with friends.

Maybe I am too young. Not matured enough to talk about true love. Perhaps friendship would be a good topic for me to start with. Having fun and spending time with them, knowing them and guiding each other along the way. And well, I get to know more about them like I never had before. Sometimes catching up with friends appear to be the most meaningful parts of life. It's just a matter of perspective, isn't it?

Casting love aside. Singlehood rocks.

The notorious shirlyn did this.

- Humphrey Tan

thepot

My future that once seemed bright has now been distorted by the surrounding people and things. I am currently facing a period of uncertainties of life. Asking myself what does the future hold for me, and whether all things are according to the will of God. Just when I was about to suffer another breakdown, this song came into my mind. I was once again assured that my life is already in God's hand, and He will certainly mould me into a person that He desires. And be it going through a storm or under the burning sun, He will always walk beside me, and be my guide. Constantly using me, filling me, calling me, guiding me and walking beside me.

 

The Potter's Hand

 

Beutiful Lord wonderful Saviour
I know for sure all of my days are
Held in Your hand
Crafted into Your perfect plan

You gently call me into Your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord
To live all of my life through Your eyes

I'm captured by Your holy calling
Set me apart
I know You're drawing me to Yourself
Lead me Lord I pray

Take me mould me
Use me, fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me, guide me
Lead me walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand

 

When The Wind Blows

Night turns to daylight and things are quite the same
You wake up and make up another days routine
Then the sun begins to shine as if the face of God were near
And the trumpets sound is played as if all the world could hear

That's the day when the wind blows
Thats the day the earth begins to move
When the lion and the lamb start walking two by two
That's the day when the wind blows
When the sky is torn in two
And the Lord of Lords and all his glory comes for you
Ohh when the wind blows.

Beside you behind me belivers on their knees
And some how you know now everyone you see
So hand in hand you fly away to meet him in the sky
This man that you have dreamed about, he's right before your eyes .

Thats the day when the wind blows
Thats the day the earth begins to move
When the lion and the lamb start walking two by two
that's the day when the wind blows
When the sky is torn in two
And the Lord of Lords in all his glory comes for you
ohh when the wind blows.

Thats the day when the wind blows
When the earth begins to move
When the lion and the lamb start walkin two by two
When the wind blows
When the sky is torn in two
And the Lord of Lords in all his glory comes for you
Ohh when the wind blows, when the wind blows.

Be swept away,be swept away.

- Point of Grace