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Wednesday, April 28, 2010 Never in all these months would I have thought about opening up this blog and typing a post... but I couldn't help it... Anymore holding inside, no one to turn to, would deem to be suffocating... A friend told me, "You won't be alone if you feel you aren't alone, even when there is no friends there around you..." 2am, 6 more days to UOL exams and I am feeling this shit... Nicely timing! But in fact, I feel alone in fact, its the state of feeling I am in... not what is happening around me... I love to love someone... but the question posted up was, "Why love? It is too hurting..." Yes, its hurting, in fact, too much to bear... Seeing the one I love, being happy, is all I am contented with... I am no saint, I do want to be together with her. Well, you can't force love, you can't force it... all I can see is she being happy, thats all I care... Yeap, it hurts, but I cannot do anything... I can only watch... Its alright... You happy can already liao... Me ah... Sometimes I thought that I can be someone heartless, emotionless and like a robot, a machine. Wake up jus focus on money, success, studies but I couldn't... I easily succumb to what do you call it, "human emotions"... We all have this, don't we? At the end of the day, I still 'feel' because of emotions... why not take away my emotions, feelings and let me feel nothing? So I can have a heck care attitude towards people... and towards those I care about.... I don't hate anyone, I jus like you less... Monday, September 21, 2009 Mindset must change. It must. And again, I need a fresh set of balls of steel. Sunday, September 20, 2009 From the start, you are a wrong and a mistake. Yes you are... LCH... Saturday, September 12, 2009 I have just knew someone by the name of Elaine... this is the 5th Elaine I knew so far... And of course, every Elaine I knew is special... Tuesday, September 08, 2009 Yesterday, I had this really strange and alien feeling in me that I hadn't felt for decades... A simple form of joy and happiness thats its so pure, from deep down inside of me... =) |
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