Time flies, it've been more than a year since i joined ITE. There are lots of ups and down during these period. I got to know a pretty interesting, funny girl and we stick together throughout our education there. I got to know other now friends too. Had lots of fun and argument with each other. But there are people who seems to dislike or even hate me. I need to change. but how ?.. That's a very huge challenge.. These little little things are affecting me. Always. Suddenly I just felt like nobody actually really treats me as a friend. They are just pretending cause deep down, they just didn't like me.. I just wanna move on from here as away from everyone. I know I'm just escaping the truth. But it's just too much for me to take. And I really hope that the world would just end. Take me away..

Everything it alright till now
Just that I've still yet to overcome the way I get affected by little things.
hate all the projects assignment especially when it's supposed to be done with 5team members and I'm the only one doing.
don't feel like giving them credit for what they did not do but by doing so i will spoil our friendship..
what should I do...

oh ho ho ho.. been really busy with school projects these days. was staying at aunty's house for the past week. seriously dont really feel like going home thou, shag. everything have been quite well thou. only some emotion breakage. LOl. my groupmates were really not cooperative. i dont understand, why keep arguing and pushing the blame. since we're in a group, shouldnt we be united as one. haishh, anyway, im all fine. hope you are too. :)) running away from problem may not always solve it, but it will allow me to have one less burden to worry about. i think i have anger management problem. need to seek professional help soon

First day of school and same old problem. I'm barely surviving all these... Gasping for air. Struggling real hard now. Emotions are beyond my control. I am shocked by how temperamental I am nope. I hate the way I am now. There's nothing I can do. really hope it can end real soon.

At many point of my life, I would often have the thought of ending all the misery I'm going thru. No one ever knows the torment I'm undergoing... The smile and insanity I always present myself in, It's wearing me off. I'm exhausted.. Please, give me a break, I would sincerely hope for a end to everything... I rather leave and present my best self to everyone then to leave in a way so pathetic. If only there a painless and guaranteed method. I would have done it.

MIA for quite a long time,
Things are still okay I guess.
Manage to avoid a couple of sparkles.
Learnt how to cope with my own problems more I guess..
At least I'm not troubling you as much now.
Can be a nuisance at times I know.
Thanks for tolerating and always being there
Sometimes still struggling thou..
But things will get better as time pass, I hope
Saw him today, didn't really talk, kinda awkward.
Been so long since we last met.
Idk how to put it into words
Not expecting much thou,
Not gonna think about anything,
Just wanna close my eyes and sleep. Goodnight <3

its a long long long day for me.
quite a lot of things happened today.
i'm exhausted..
have totally no idea how can such little things be affecting me again and again :/
like what my friends always say, just ignore it.. i've tried ..
it just dont work out for me.
i'm at my wits end.
i got to learn and be less less sensitive.
if ppl arent going to cherish me, why should i.
i'm just making my own life difficult, isnt that really dumb of me ..
there're always friends who cared for me.
eventhough they might not be able to be there for me everytime.
i shouldnt give up on myself.
classmates, family & friends. what worst can it can.
dread going to school cause of my fellow classmates,
dread going home thanks to my dad.
dread going for events/activities cause of friends.
i'm just forever thinking too much, too deep into things.
i should just go bang my head hard on the wall and get unconcious.