Overhead in the news a few days ago that a Haitian man was pulled out of a rubble alive after being buried inside there for 11 days.
Actually, long before the news came out, I was already thinking about cockroaches, which are known for their ability to stay alive for weeks despite being decapitated.
Incredible resilience!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Overhead on my morning walk/jog as I overtook two Indian ladies who occupied the entire five-foot path as they were walking abreast (and not in an Indian file).
"You know, I checked his compo and I asked if he knows how to write."
"..."
"They are all small words. What does he expect to get with all small words?"
I recalled then I read somewhere that Indian men have, within Asia, among the largest reproductive organs.
I wonder if the matchmakers would go, "It is all so small. What does he expect to get...?"
Size queens?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
A student who was stricken with chicken pox came to school despite getting a 7-day medical leave from the doctor.
She was probably concerned about her status as a guest student at the school, or she might have been shut out of the flat that she shared with two other schoolmates.
The school did not wish to have anything to do with the student as she was a guest and she wasn't putting up at the school hostel.
Her teachers were only too eager to get her to go home.
As I sat listening to this, images of ebola and leprosy came to my mind.
It's only chicken pox, a childhood disease. It is pitiful enough that a student far away from home is stricken with it.
Is chicken pox the new ebola?
And then I said, "She should be sent to the Communicable Disease Centre, since that's our default quarantine centre."
Are we basically good or basically bad?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Get well note to TSBHD
I read with horror that BHD slipped and fell and, in the process, fractured his ankle. (Let me check if it is the right or left ankle, though I'd think left as this man claims he has 40 left feet.)
Oh mi gawd! He broke his 41st leg, the right one! Poor guy. He was actually helping to steady a senior when he lost balance himself and went down.
I feel very sorry for him but I'm really glad he was wearing a pair of boots when he fell. I'd guess that the support from the boot allowed the break to be "clean" rather than comminuted (aka many fractured bone fragments, which is common in ankle fractures given the multiple bones that make up the ankle), though "severe," as his doctor has claimed.
True, ankle fractures are usually very severe and I hope BHD will take good care of himself and let the injury heal at its own time. No amount of rushing the recovery will do any good. The human ankles support so much weight that an improperly healed break could give future problems ranging from arthritis to muscluar and joint weaknesses to further - and more serious - fractures! I hope the caregivers have their tranquilizer guns to keep our "Energizer Bunny running on AC on the sly" in bed and at rest. That's the only way he can recover.
Well, being over 9000 miles away from him, the only thing I can do is to write to him and cheer him up a little. It seems to me that the seniors he looked after are also helping out by taking care of the sen(i)or-in-training too. Makes me feel better this way.
So, I need to unpack (sorry, BHD, on alluding to the packages again but I really did think of TSBHD before I read your blogposts!) what I meant by the initials TSBHD.
See, BHD takes pride to be in boots as far as he can help it. So, I've written to him last night to imagine that the cast he is wearing is also a boot, albeit a very hard one (which he, unfortunately, will never be able to break in). That's the idea! While we wear boots to protect our feet, the sturdier the boot, the more protection and support we get. BHD just got the sturdiest boot.
So, if he were to put on one left boot and wear the cast on the right foot, he is now Temporarily Semi-Booted Harley Dude. There you go.
Don't nitpick on terminology on why it is not THBHD - the half-booted... Half is simply not correct. He can have a knee high Wesco boot on his left leg and a knee high Hosco (Hospital Company) boot on his right foot - semi, it is.
BHD, get well soon!
Oh mi gawd! He broke his 41st leg, the right one! Poor guy. He was actually helping to steady a senior when he lost balance himself and went down.
I feel very sorry for him but I'm really glad he was wearing a pair of boots when he fell. I'd guess that the support from the boot allowed the break to be "clean" rather than comminuted (aka many fractured bone fragments, which is common in ankle fractures given the multiple bones that make up the ankle), though "severe," as his doctor has claimed.
True, ankle fractures are usually very severe and I hope BHD will take good care of himself and let the injury heal at its own time. No amount of rushing the recovery will do any good. The human ankles support so much weight that an improperly healed break could give future problems ranging from arthritis to muscluar and joint weaknesses to further - and more serious - fractures! I hope the caregivers have their tranquilizer guns to keep our "Energizer Bunny running on AC on the sly" in bed and at rest. That's the only way he can recover.
Well, being over 9000 miles away from him, the only thing I can do is to write to him and cheer him up a little. It seems to me that the seniors he looked after are also helping out by taking care of the sen(i)or-in-training too. Makes me feel better this way.
So, I need to unpack (sorry, BHD, on alluding to the packages again but I really did think of TSBHD before I read your blogposts!) what I meant by the initials TSBHD.
See, BHD takes pride to be in boots as far as he can help it. So, I've written to him last night to imagine that the cast he is wearing is also a boot, albeit a very hard one (which he, unfortunately, will never be able to break in). That's the idea! While we wear boots to protect our feet, the sturdier the boot, the more protection and support we get. BHD just got the sturdiest boot.
So, if he were to put on one left boot and wear the cast on the right foot, he is now Temporarily Semi-Booted Harley Dude. There you go.
Don't nitpick on terminology on why it is not THBHD - the half-booted... Half is simply not correct. He can have a knee high Wesco boot on his left leg and a knee high Hosco (Hospital Company) boot on his right foot - semi, it is.
BHD, get well soon!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
There are those who don't get it
How do you explain the outcome when one person out of three that you meet at the same time for a writing conference fails to write anything logical at the end of the hour when the other two got their act together after 30 minutes?
How do you explain this one person when 17 others before the person all managed to get their act together in the time alloted to them?
How do you think one can make knowledge by writing some things and erasing what was written in endless cycles?
How do you expect to write something so mangled I cannot commit to memory and yet expect me to accept it as a thesis statement?
How do you expect...
How do you explain this one person when 17 others before the person all managed to get their act together in the time alloted to them?
How do you think one can make knowledge by writing some things and erasing what was written in endless cycles?
How do you expect to write something so mangled I cannot commit to memory and yet expect me to accept it as a thesis statement?
How do you expect...
Saturday, January 09, 2010
I think he'll have you beheaded
Ate at Emperor Q (Q for Qianlong) at the revamped West Coast Plaza (formerly Ginza Plaza) at West Coast Road.
I didn't think Q would have eaten Peranakan achar (pickled fruits and vegetables) and icing sugar frosted peanuts. Neither do I think the imperial kitchen would have the balls to serve Hui Guo Rou (or Twice Cooked Pork), presumably a peasant dish. I didn't even think Q would eat pot stickers wrapped in skins the texture of semi-dehydrated chewed gum!
While Q is known for his magnanimity, I'm pretty certain that he'll have the chefs and wait staff of the Emperor Q restaurant decapitated without batting an eyelid.
What a flagrant abuse of Q's good name and a terrible transgression of culinary faith!
Details
There were 38 dishes on the buffet menu but 1 was not available. As we don't eat beef, there wasn't much left to choose.
Appetisers - Boiled pork hock with ginger sauce (C), pickled jellyfish (D), drunken chicken (D),
Dim sum - pot stickers (F), siew mai aka meat dumplings (D), prawns wrapped in beancurd skin (D - more skin than prawns), ngoh hiang aka prawn and meat rolls (F)
Soup - Steam minced pork soup in bamboo cup (B)
Mains - Double cooked pork (D), deep fried prawn balls with crispy sauce (B), fried prawn paste chicken (B - waited half an hour for 2 pieces), fried fish in ginger and spring onions (B)
Carbo - Szechuan minced pork noodles (C)
Dessert - Soft serve ice cream with mango sauce topping (C), black sesame paste with glutinous rice dumplings (F - considering EQ is a sister restaurant of MOF!), barley with beancurd sheets and gingko nuts (F), honey dew sago (F)
Service - F (You are nobody nobody... NOBODY NOBODY! No one came even once to check if I needed a top up for my water.)
It's time: Someone can deliver the imperial edict to have the entire staff CHOPPED.
I didn't think Q would have eaten Peranakan achar (pickled fruits and vegetables) and icing sugar frosted peanuts. Neither do I think the imperial kitchen would have the balls to serve Hui Guo Rou (or Twice Cooked Pork), presumably a peasant dish. I didn't even think Q would eat pot stickers wrapped in skins the texture of semi-dehydrated chewed gum!
While Q is known for his magnanimity, I'm pretty certain that he'll have the chefs and wait staff of the Emperor Q restaurant decapitated without batting an eyelid.
What a flagrant abuse of Q's good name and a terrible transgression of culinary faith!
Details
There were 38 dishes on the buffet menu but 1 was not available. As we don't eat beef, there wasn't much left to choose.
Appetisers - Boiled pork hock with ginger sauce (C), pickled jellyfish (D), drunken chicken (D),
Dim sum - pot stickers (F), siew mai aka meat dumplings (D), prawns wrapped in beancurd skin (D - more skin than prawns), ngoh hiang aka prawn and meat rolls (F)
Soup - Steam minced pork soup in bamboo cup (B)
Mains - Double cooked pork (D), deep fried prawn balls with crispy sauce (B), fried prawn paste chicken (B - waited half an hour for 2 pieces), fried fish in ginger and spring onions (B)
Carbo - Szechuan minced pork noodles (C)
Dessert - Soft serve ice cream with mango sauce topping (C), black sesame paste with glutinous rice dumplings (F - considering EQ is a sister restaurant of MOF!), barley with beancurd sheets and gingko nuts (F), honey dew sago (F)
Service - F (You are nobody nobody... NOBODY NOBODY! No one came even once to check if I needed a top up for my water.)
It's time: Someone can deliver the imperial edict to have the entire staff CHOPPED.
Friday, January 08, 2010
When you are at it long enough...
I have a phantom student taking the course I'm teaching for the third time. Apparently, he no-showed all the way during the first two times he was assigned the course. So far, he no showed both lessons. Looks like I'm going to have to give an F grade this time.
Shit happens.
Shit happens.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Celebrating the Noughties: A decade of collective stupidity
1. 2000 - the new millennium.
For Pete's (or insert name of your favourite Mathematician) sake, can you count?
I still have not figured out how we could begin the third millennium in the year 2000. Ok, this is involved mathematics and for those who are mathematically challenged, go to point 2. For those who have some basic inkling of basic mathematics, this should not be difficult.
Anno Domini begins in year 1. 1000 years in a millennium, so end of the first millennium is year AD 1000 and the beginning of the second millennium is AD 1001.
Go figure.
2. 2001 - Sept 11.
How is it that before and after 9-11, we are still none the wiser how we can combat the terrorist scourge? Will doing nothing be the same as doing everything?
3. 2002 - Share markets enter "Dot Com-a"
If the dot com bubble didn't burst totally a few years back, those glycerin-held up bubbles bust in 2002, sending sharemarkets round the world into a wild tail spin.
How could people invest blindly?
4. 2003 - SARS hit the world.
Oh why, oh why didn't SARS wipe out enough people to make the world a better place. With a mortality rate of less than 1 percent and with less than 10 000 people infected worldwide, this was the single big bang non-event. SARS eventually went out of fashion in 2006.
Until today, people are still screening for this and that because they are afraid of some pandemic. Lookie here. Pandemics are good because they are nature's way of regulating the population.
5. 2004 - High heels for high life?
Donations for tsunami victims included high heel shoes. The ignominy of that still rankles me.
6. 2005 - Hurricane Katrina
Too big, too clumsy, too little, too late.
7. 2006 - Birds hit by flu
The H5N1 avian flu becomes endemic in birds. The world worries about inter-species transmission. In reality, other than STDs and AIDS spreading via a certain male species of an edible poultry, nothing terribly exciting happened. Still, governments spent a lot of money culling birds to stem the spread of the disease.
8. 2007 - Boom times!
Human greed priced people out of the property market, led them to over invest in the investment instruments market, and allowed some to live overly opulent lives. Some will live to pay for it in time to come.
9. 2008 - Nature makes a second try at population control
The world was introduced to the AH1N1 flu strain. This strain is to become pandemic proportions in 2009. Unfortunately, the world also got saved by the AH1N1 vaccine.
I hate to say this but I'm not sure I want to be there when Mother Nature unleashes her full fury on humankind.
10. 2009 - Greed is good.
In 2009, we reward recklessness, greed and avarice. Governments bailed out banks and stood guarantor for investments products gone bad. Governments stepped in to keep institutions that are "too big to fail" going. In short, we lined the pockets of the wealthy with the blood, sweat and tears of the poor who can hardly afford cotton lint.
What events made your list?
For Pete's (or insert name of your favourite Mathematician) sake, can you count?
I still have not figured out how we could begin the third millennium in the year 2000. Ok, this is involved mathematics and for those who are mathematically challenged, go to point 2. For those who have some basic inkling of basic mathematics, this should not be difficult.
Anno Domini begins in year 1. 1000 years in a millennium, so end of the first millennium is year AD 1000 and the beginning of the second millennium is AD 1001.
Go figure.
2. 2001 - Sept 11.
How is it that before and after 9-11, we are still none the wiser how we can combat the terrorist scourge? Will doing nothing be the same as doing everything?
3. 2002 - Share markets enter "Dot Com-a"
If the dot com bubble didn't burst totally a few years back, those glycerin-held up bubbles bust in 2002, sending sharemarkets round the world into a wild tail spin.
How could people invest blindly?
4. 2003 - SARS hit the world.
Oh why, oh why didn't SARS wipe out enough people to make the world a better place. With a mortality rate of less than 1 percent and with less than 10 000 people infected worldwide, this was the single big bang non-event. SARS eventually went out of fashion in 2006.
Until today, people are still screening for this and that because they are afraid of some pandemic. Lookie here. Pandemics are good because they are nature's way of regulating the population.
5. 2004 - High heels for high life?
Donations for tsunami victims included high heel shoes. The ignominy of that still rankles me.
6. 2005 - Hurricane Katrina
Too big, too clumsy, too little, too late.
7. 2006 - Birds hit by flu
The H5N1 avian flu becomes endemic in birds. The world worries about inter-species transmission. In reality, other than STDs and AIDS spreading via a certain male species of an edible poultry, nothing terribly exciting happened. Still, governments spent a lot of money culling birds to stem the spread of the disease.
8. 2007 - Boom times!
Human greed priced people out of the property market, led them to over invest in the investment instruments market, and allowed some to live overly opulent lives. Some will live to pay for it in time to come.
9. 2008 - Nature makes a second try at population control
The world was introduced to the AH1N1 flu strain. This strain is to become pandemic proportions in 2009. Unfortunately, the world also got saved by the AH1N1 vaccine.
I hate to say this but I'm not sure I want to be there when Mother Nature unleashes her full fury on humankind.
10. 2009 - Greed is good.
In 2009, we reward recklessness, greed and avarice. Governments bailed out banks and stood guarantor for investments products gone bad. Governments stepped in to keep institutions that are "too big to fail" going. In short, we lined the pockets of the wealthy with the blood, sweat and tears of the poor who can hardly afford cotton lint.
What events made your list?
Of Virtues and Vices
Patience 1
One of my readers, M. G. wrote that "Patience is only a virtue when it leads to a desired goal."
I think he was referring to stalkers. :)
Patience 2
Patience is the lead up to being patients.
Trying teaching arithmetic or literacy.
Patience 3
Patience is treating a day like an hour.
Either you are god or you are wasting your life away.
Patience 4
Patience is trying to avoid facing the truth.
There is no truer patience than denial.
Patience 5
Patience is waiting after the event to tell someone s/he's wrong.
There is no better test of patience than watching the doomed event blow up so you can earn the right to say, "I told you so."
Patience 6
Patience is counting till ten before you blow up.
The trick is to choose the correct units for counting to ten: seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, fortnights... You get the drift.
Patience 7
Patience is reading this entry in its entirety.
Thank you very much.
One of my readers, M. G. wrote that "Patience is only a virtue when it leads to a desired goal."
I think he was referring to stalkers. :)
Patience 2
Patience is the lead up to being patients.
Trying teaching arithmetic or literacy.
Patience 3
Patience is treating a day like an hour.
Either you are god or you are wasting your life away.
Patience 4
Patience is trying to avoid facing the truth.
There is no truer patience than denial.
Patience 5
Patience is waiting after the event to tell someone s/he's wrong.
There is no better test of patience than watching the doomed event blow up so you can earn the right to say, "I told you so."
Patience 6
Patience is counting till ten before you blow up.
The trick is to choose the correct units for counting to ten: seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, fortnights... You get the drift.
Patience 7
Patience is reading this entry in its entirety.
Thank you very much.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Case Study: How to throw a bitch fit
You are to read the following case study very carefully before you attempt the questions that follow. Answer each question in continuous prose. Each answer should not exceed 250 words. You have 48 hours to complete this assignment.
You should type out your answers on A4 or Letter sized paper, 1 inch margins all round, 12 point Times New Roman font. You may submit your answers online in the comments column following this post.
You are reminded not to repeat your points in different answers. You are reminded of the need for clear and concise writing.
Scenario
I was shopping for a new rice cooker when a Chinese PRC woman started kicking up a big fuss at the store.
She accused the service staff of being rude to her; some snarky remark was involved, or so it seemed. Ms PRC shouted at the service staff for not answering her question on how good a pot she was interested in was and also pointed out that the side comment that was made about her type was not appropriate.
Ms PRC then started screaming. In addition, she took to banging and kicking the items at the store.
Questions
1. What did Ms PRC do wrong?
2. What should Ms PRC have done?
Reflections
1. If you were Ms PRC, how would you have reacted in this situation so you can extract maximum benefit from the stall?
2. Do you think it is ethical to extract maximum benefit from the stall? Why?
Role Play
1. Imagine you are a shopper in the store who thinks one of the two women is out of line. Write a retort to show how you could take the side one of the women and start hurling insults back at the "bitch".
2. If you are the manager of the store, explain how will you resolve this issue.
Higher Order Thinking Skills
1. In our social context where we are trying to attract foreign talent to contribute to our workforce and population, how do you think you will help these foreign talent integrate themselves into our society?
2. Do you think soft skills, such as child bearing, child rearing, fighting, quarrelling, screaming, shouting, accusing and insistently talking loudly everywhere, should be part of the criteria for admitting foreign talent? How would one test such skills?
You should type out your answers on A4 or Letter sized paper, 1 inch margins all round, 12 point Times New Roman font. You may submit your answers online in the comments column following this post.
You are reminded not to repeat your points in different answers. You are reminded of the need for clear and concise writing.
Scenario
I was shopping for a new rice cooker when a Chinese PRC woman started kicking up a big fuss at the store.
She accused the service staff of being rude to her; some snarky remark was involved, or so it seemed. Ms PRC shouted at the service staff for not answering her question on how good a pot she was interested in was and also pointed out that the side comment that was made about her type was not appropriate.
Ms PRC then started screaming. In addition, she took to banging and kicking the items at the store.
Questions
1. What did Ms PRC do wrong?
2. What should Ms PRC have done?
Reflections
1. If you were Ms PRC, how would you have reacted in this situation so you can extract maximum benefit from the stall?
2. Do you think it is ethical to extract maximum benefit from the stall? Why?
Role Play
1. Imagine you are a shopper in the store who thinks one of the two women is out of line. Write a retort to show how you could take the side one of the women and start hurling insults back at the "bitch".
2. If you are the manager of the store, explain how will you resolve this issue.
Higher Order Thinking Skills
1. In our social context where we are trying to attract foreign talent to contribute to our workforce and population, how do you think you will help these foreign talent integrate themselves into our society?
2. Do you think soft skills, such as child bearing, child rearing, fighting, quarrelling, screaming, shouting, accusing and insistently talking loudly everywhere, should be part of the criteria for admitting foreign talent? How would one test such skills?
They have had enough
Last afternoon, my rice cooker quietly retired. Not a single sound. I didn't even realise it was gone until I walked into the kitchen and checked on the meat I was cooking in it.
The indicator lights were all snuffed out and all I smelt was some hot metallic gas coming out from the pot.
Last night, my wireless, optical mouse stopped moving for good. The battery in it leaked alkaline. When I removed it, I got a minor alkaline burn on my finger tips. A new battery could not make the mouse come alive.
Electronics and electrical items really have an accurate live-till date. Once the date comes, your equipment goes. How exciting.
The indicator lights were all snuffed out and all I smelt was some hot metallic gas coming out from the pot.
Last night, my wireless, optical mouse stopped moving for good. The battery in it leaked alkaline. When I removed it, I got a minor alkaline burn on my finger tips. A new battery could not make the mouse come alive.
Electronics and electrical items really have an accurate live-till date. Once the date comes, your equipment goes. How exciting.
Smells
There is something about the overnight sweaty tee-shirt smell that puts me off entirely. In this climate where 100% humidity is not unusual and temperatures of above 30 degrees Celcius are commonplace, being near someone in those shirts is enough to make you make a turn and remove yourself out of the smell-itory.
I would be more tolerant it were some sweaty guy who had busted his gut working at some job site for the entire day. I would even let it go - though it might cause me my last consumed meal - if it were on some worker whose sweat smelled bad in addition to his/her unique brand of BO.
But these guys in those offending shirts are browsing at a book sale in the middle of some industrial estate dressed in their "pyjamas". To make things worse, they had their wives and children with them. I wonder how they can put up with these smells.
Do personal hygiene and smell courtesy mean nothing at all today? Is a little consideration too much to ask?
I would be more tolerant it were some sweaty guy who had busted his gut working at some job site for the entire day. I would even let it go - though it might cause me my last consumed meal - if it were on some worker whose sweat smelled bad in addition to his/her unique brand of BO.
But these guys in those offending shirts are browsing at a book sale in the middle of some industrial estate dressed in their "pyjamas". To make things worse, they had their wives and children with them. I wonder how they can put up with these smells.
Do personal hygiene and smell courtesy mean nothing at all today? Is a little consideration too much to ask?
List of Best Warped Advice
1. Life is short (but not short enough).
2. Be truthful to your lies.
3. Forget the flowers: Take time to kick the asses!
4. Seize the throat. Or the balls or whatever body part that will get you your way.
5. Aim high, kick between the legs.
6. If life gives you lemons, remember to add lots of sugar when you are making lemonade. This way, the people drinking it will get fat and develop big asses.
7. Try to win a Darwin Award. If you can't, try again.
8. If at first you don't succeed, forget it. When someone does succeed, say that you did it first, except the time and place were screwed then.
9. Whenever you discover something that works against your enemy, go public with your findings. This way, your enemy can catch up and you can continue trying to thwart your foes.
10. Donate what you don't want, especially for things that - really - no one wants.
11. Revenge is a dish best served PERSONALLY.
12. Don't get even. Make sure you dish out at least one better.
13. Insist on wooden furniture made from fast growing trees in virgin forests.
2. Be truthful to your lies.
3. Forget the flowers: Take time to kick the asses!
4. Seize the throat. Or the balls or whatever body part that will get you your way.
5. Aim high, kick between the legs.
6. If life gives you lemons, remember to add lots of sugar when you are making lemonade. This way, the people drinking it will get fat and develop big asses.
7. Try to win a Darwin Award. If you can't, try again.
8. If at first you don't succeed, forget it. When someone does succeed, say that you did it first, except the time and place were screwed then.
9. Whenever you discover something that works against your enemy, go public with your findings. This way, your enemy can catch up and you can continue trying to thwart your foes.
10. Donate what you don't want, especially for things that - really - no one wants.
11. Revenge is a dish best served PERSONALLY.
12. Don't get even. Make sure you dish out at least one better.
13. Insist on wooden furniture made from fast growing trees in virgin forests.
Friday, January 01, 2010
New Year Resolution
I kept 2009's resolution not to have any resolutions. Worked so well, I'm not having another resolutions for 2010 either.
Resolutions should not tie you down. Instead, you should live your life in a way that makes your presence meaningful.
Today is wasted, yesterday was rubbish and tomorrow will be crap is one perspective. Nothing wrong about that. Today is good, yesterday was ok and tomorrow will be great is an equally valid perspective. Nothing wrong about that either. The choice lies in you and you can decide what is best for yourself.
Carpe diem!
Resolutions should not tie you down. Instead, you should live your life in a way that makes your presence meaningful.
Today is wasted, yesterday was rubbish and tomorrow will be crap is one perspective. Nothing wrong about that. Today is good, yesterday was ok and tomorrow will be great is an equally valid perspective. Nothing wrong about that either. The choice lies in you and you can decide what is best for yourself.
Carpe diem!
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