Yeah, it's pitch, not bitch. You didn't see wrongly.
See, someone told me to get on with my application and not seek perfection. She said I'm beginning to fret like her daughter over the application and freak out at every next thing I hear about what needs to go into the application.
I admit. I'm being extra careful here. I really want this badly and I am guilty as charged of trying to put in a write my statement of purpose and my personal statement using a punctilious pitch. I am fussy enough not to want to miss anything. At all!
I know the Pareto principle. I only wish I could say my statements are not critical. If I had test scores that were through the roof and a undergraduate GPA that is as high as my blood pressure and cholesterol combined, I'd... be dead by now? Well, I'm stressed up over the applications. There isn't a single waking moment that I wish I am not at the computer typing away and chipping these papers off. But guess what? When I am at the computer, I write a few lines and I decide I'm not ready to tackle them yet.
The deadline is not looming yet. And unfortunately, I tend to perform best under pressure. So, this is like the pre-deadline pressure build up period. It's not healthy and I wish I hadn't to do this. But it is my character, I guess.
University P wrote me yesterday and said my GRE scores were not reported yet. I immediately replied to say I've sent in the scores. I slept but didn't sleep well. P is my top choice university and the hell I wanna muck things up there. This morning, I received an email from P saying that they messed the record keeping due to conflicting first names. There, we Chinese know how to confuse in addition to convincing. Now, aren't you convinced you're confused? Heh!
It's a long road... and I intend to get to the destination soon.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Freaking Frustrated For F***?
I gave Four F grades, actually Five, but then after a thorough review and convincing myself that I have been too demanding in my grading, I reduced it to Four.
I am Freaking Frustrated. Did I teach so badly that my students did not manage to learn anything or have I expected too much from the knuckleheads who slipped past admissions this year?
I have people who make A grades and I also have people who end up with C grades. In fact, like the other two Assignments 2 in my earlier terms, the students are categorized into their respective mastery levels on this assignment and, thus, their likely end of course grades.
I am largely ok with a pigeon holing exercise. It is a course requirement that students have to be graded. But in the past terms I only had to deal with very few D grades; this term, I get a handful of F graders to manage. The bulgeoning C population is common for this assignment. It is a paper where one synthesizes two texts to support one's thesis statement. One either does the synthesis fully and correctly or one underdoes it. If one falls short at the synthesis, then the grades drop to the B range. If one falls short at the summaries (and, inevitably the synthesis thereafter), one drops to the C range. Poor writing will cause futher grade drops. My Fabulous F grades are, in all honesty, harder to get than an A grade. I am that certain, sure, confident and proud to say. I reward effort when writing falls short. But how does one reward a paper that is 25% short of the minimum page length? Or a paper that averages 10 mistakes per 8 line paragraph? Or a student who writes whatever s/he feels like writing, with scant regard for the rubric of the assignment?
I try very hard to reflect if it were my poor teaching that caused such a disaster. Well, it seemed like a disaster to me when I have to award Fs in this manner. Ok, let us assume that I taught badly. Then how do you explain the nearly half of the students who got A and B grades? They were spread across both my sections! And how do I explain the other nearly half of the students who got C grades, those who were already weak to begin with, as evidenced by their Assignment 1 performance? If I had taught badly, then surely the assignment question, having gone through a round of eyeballing by the course coordinator, would have explained clearly the demands of the assignment?
The reading packages and the remedial website resources would have also played their part in helping the lost sheep to find their way home. And what about my open email communication channel where they actually have direct access to me via my home email? My students even have my cell phone number, for f***'s sake!
Another consolation I have is the fact that I have assigned short writing pieces to the students for them to practise writing thesis statements, topic sentences and paragraphs. They were also required to use evidence from their reading articles to support their arguments. The marks the F graders received on those assignments are actually indicative of the students' real writing and reasoning abilities. Those fellows are the ones scoring 3 and 4 out of 10. And to not demoralise too much, I set a minimum score of 3 marks on all these short pieces. Any written sh*t would have gotten 3 marks if it were submitted.
On a related note, the fellows who bombed Assignment 2 are the intended recipients of my earlier email telling them of the importance of reading and coming to class prepared. I shouldn't have to or need to feel sorry for them.
The circumstantial evidence of my not having derelicted my duties is complete. I should feel vindicated. Still, I feel Freaking disappointed. A colleague told me to get rid of that "secondary school teacher" mentality in me. "Why should you care, Eugene?" he would ask. "They are already adults and if they are not bothered to get up to speed with the demands of university, why should you mother them?" Well said.
He is a dear friend of mine and he's been really helpful to me ever since I began teaching at that institution. I should lay down my burden and not labour under these rotten straws that threaten to break my back. I shall only help those who bother.
I shall push on and perhaps give a few F grades at the end of the course to the truly deserving. Perhaps Darwin's theory can take over and straighten out the population some...
Of course, Four rounds of reviews later, there are only two students who received F grades (pending confirmation). I'm almost certain my grade distribution will stand. The rest are upgraded but are given stern warnings to buck up.
I am Freaking Frustrated. Did I teach so badly that my students did not manage to learn anything or have I expected too much from the knuckleheads who slipped past admissions this year?
I have people who make A grades and I also have people who end up with C grades. In fact, like the other two Assignments 2 in my earlier terms, the students are categorized into their respective mastery levels on this assignment and, thus, their likely end of course grades.
I am largely ok with a pigeon holing exercise. It is a course requirement that students have to be graded. But in the past terms I only had to deal with very few D grades; this term, I get a handful of F graders to manage. The bulgeoning C population is common for this assignment. It is a paper where one synthesizes two texts to support one's thesis statement. One either does the synthesis fully and correctly or one underdoes it. If one falls short at the synthesis, then the grades drop to the B range. If one falls short at the summaries (and, inevitably the synthesis thereafter), one drops to the C range. Poor writing will cause futher grade drops. My Fabulous F grades are, in all honesty, harder to get than an A grade. I am that certain, sure, confident and proud to say. I reward effort when writing falls short. But how does one reward a paper that is 25% short of the minimum page length? Or a paper that averages 10 mistakes per 8 line paragraph? Or a student who writes whatever s/he feels like writing, with scant regard for the rubric of the assignment?
I try very hard to reflect if it were my poor teaching that caused such a disaster. Well, it seemed like a disaster to me when I have to award Fs in this manner. Ok, let us assume that I taught badly. Then how do you explain the nearly half of the students who got A and B grades? They were spread across both my sections! And how do I explain the other nearly half of the students who got C grades, those who were already weak to begin with, as evidenced by their Assignment 1 performance? If I had taught badly, then surely the assignment question, having gone through a round of eyeballing by the course coordinator, would have explained clearly the demands of the assignment?
The reading packages and the remedial website resources would have also played their part in helping the lost sheep to find their way home. And what about my open email communication channel where they actually have direct access to me via my home email? My students even have my cell phone number, for f***'s sake!
Another consolation I have is the fact that I have assigned short writing pieces to the students for them to practise writing thesis statements, topic sentences and paragraphs. They were also required to use evidence from their reading articles to support their arguments. The marks the F graders received on those assignments are actually indicative of the students' real writing and reasoning abilities. Those fellows are the ones scoring 3 and 4 out of 10. And to not demoralise too much, I set a minimum score of 3 marks on all these short pieces. Any written sh*t would have gotten 3 marks if it were submitted.
On a related note, the fellows who bombed Assignment 2 are the intended recipients of my earlier email telling them of the importance of reading and coming to class prepared. I shouldn't have to or need to feel sorry for them.
The circumstantial evidence of my not having derelicted my duties is complete. I should feel vindicated. Still, I feel Freaking disappointed. A colleague told me to get rid of that "secondary school teacher" mentality in me. "Why should you care, Eugene?" he would ask. "They are already adults and if they are not bothered to get up to speed with the demands of university, why should you mother them?" Well said.
He is a dear friend of mine and he's been really helpful to me ever since I began teaching at that institution. I should lay down my burden and not labour under these rotten straws that threaten to break my back. I shall only help those who bother.
I shall push on and perhaps give a few F grades at the end of the course to the truly deserving. Perhaps Darwin's theory can take over and straighten out the population some...
Of course, Four rounds of reviews later, there are only two students who received F grades (pending confirmation). I'm almost certain my grade distribution will stand. The rest are upgraded but are given stern warnings to buck up.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Some are stupid, others are...
Worse, of course.
Here are a few things that make me cringe.
First, I wonder how a person can repeatedly stab himself/herself in the heart with a small knife (see 1:43). This is the most incredible phenomenon. I really want to see it happen. People take a stab in the abdomen and can hardly move after that. Multiple stabs in the heart... ROFL.
Second, can two bodies be buried in the same plot (2:37)? I know it is possible to have adjacent plots.
Third, how can there be two couples with only two people died (2:53)? Did I miss something?
Honestly, this youtube video makes me feel a little more forgiving towards the students whose papers I'm grading now. It seems like few people are capable of logical thought these days.
And the youtube fellow got it right. The horrendous content "will make (me) cry." What has this world come to?
Here are a few things that make me cringe.
First, I wonder how a person can repeatedly stab himself/herself in the heart with a small knife (see 1:43). This is the most incredible phenomenon. I really want to see it happen. People take a stab in the abdomen and can hardly move after that. Multiple stabs in the heart... ROFL.
Second, can two bodies be buried in the same plot (2:37)? I know it is possible to have adjacent plots.
Third, how can there be two couples with only two people died (2:53)? Did I miss something?
Honestly, this youtube video makes me feel a little more forgiving towards the students whose papers I'm grading now. It seems like few people are capable of logical thought these days.
And the youtube fellow got it right. The horrendous content "will make (me) cry." What has this world come to?
How to lose an audience.
Superbly directed Thai commercial all planned to coax a bucket of tears from your eyes.
But unfortunately, it is meant for domestic consumption and no one knows which organisation it is advertising for.
Do the Thais think the farangs (foreigners) in Thailand don't watch TV?
But unfortunately, it is meant for domestic consumption and no one knows which organisation it is advertising for.
Do the Thais think the farangs (foreigners) in Thailand don't watch TV?
One gets it right!
Got this youtube video in my email this morning.
Honestly, this is what I wish I could do to parents out there when I first began teaching.
I stand by my belief that some people ought to be neutered and never be allowed to have children. After all, we should not let stupidity propagate.
Oh, but then we begin to welcome foreign talents [sic].
Honestly, this is what I wish I could do to parents out there when I first began teaching.
I stand by my belief that some people ought to be neutered and never be allowed to have children. After all, we should not let stupidity propagate.
Oh, but then we begin to welcome foreign talents [sic].
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