He won't say sorry
'IT'S NOT MY FAULT'
Man causes crash after slamming brakes to insert CashCard
Woman biker rushed to ICU, suffers memory loss
HE stopped his car abruptly on the fast lane of a busy highway to insert his CashCard.
By Chong Shin Yen
29 April 2008
HE stopped his car abruptly on the fast lane of a busy highway to insert his CashCard.
And it caused an accident that left a woman seriously injured.
But to Mr Lim Huang Khim, 45, it was the 'natural thing' to do. He does not think he did anything wrong.
This, despite being fined for his inconsiderate driving that caused a motorcyclist to slam into the car behind him - which had braked in time to avoid hitting Mr Lim's car.
This, despite a judge ruling in a civil suit that Mr Lim was 50 per cent liable for the accident.
The motorcyclist, Miss Tiong Zhen Cheng, 33, was flung more than 20m and landed beside Mr Lim's car.
The sales executive was warded in the intensive care unit and spent about a week in hospital. She still suffers pain and some memory loss.
Miss Tiong ended up being sued by the driver of the second car, Mr Lye Chiew Meng, for the damage to his Toyota.
His rear windscreen was shattered and the repair bill came to $7,000.
But her insurance company felt Mr Lim should also be liable and he was named as the third party in the civil suit.
SMILED MANY TIMES IN COURT
Earlier this month, Mr Lim, who works as a driver, insisted he was not to blame and smiled several times as he recounted the accident on the stand.
He was chided by District Judge Lim Wee Meng for his cavalier attitude.
Judge Lim said: 'I don't think it's funny. Someone was seriously injured and I don't think it's funny at all.'
The accident happened around 7.50pm on 29 Nov 2006 on the Central Expressway, just before the Electronic Road Pricing (ERP) gantry near the Braddell exit.
Mr Lim was driving a rented silver Mitsubishi car and was travelling on the extreme right lane on his way home with his wife and four children.
When he saw that the gantry was activated, he switched on the car's hazard lights and stopped to slot in his CashCard.
Mr Lye, a finance manager, who was behind him, managed to stop in time. But Miss Tiong's 400cc Honda motorbike crashed into Mr Lye's car.
When cross-examined by Miss Tiong's lawyer, Mr Lim maintained that he was not at fault.
Her lawyer, Mr William Chai, asked: 'A car was damaged, a person was severely and mentally injured, are you saying you are not responsible? Not even 1 per cent?'
Mr Lim replied: 'I'm saying that I'm totally not to be blamed.'
He told the court that he had not inserted his CashCard into the in-vehicle unit (IU) earlier because he did not know that the ERP gantry was activated at that time.
When asked if seeing the activated gantry was a big surprise, Mr Lim said he had seen it from afar and was trying to insert the CashCard in time.
He also told the court that he did not see Miss Tiong's bike behind Mr Lye's car.
He admitted that following the accident, he had purposely left out in his police report the reason for stopping his car as he knew that it was an offence.
Mr Lim, who has been driving for 24 years, was fined $200 by the Traffic Police for inconsiderate driving and given nine demerit points.
But in his affidavit tendered to the court, he said: 'I decided to pay the $200 out of convenience even though I do not believe that I should be responsible for the accident.
'I did not want the trouble to engage a lawyer to contest the claim because this would be time-consuming and the legal fees would definitely exceed $200.'
In contrast, Mr Lye was apologetic about what happened to Miss Tiong. His lawyer, Miss Bonnie Kwok, told the court: 'My client would like to extend his sympathies to Miss Tiong.'
She also said that while Mr Lye could clearly see the traffic conditions in front of him, Miss Tiong could not.
Said Miss Kwok: 'It's not a situation whereby the vehicles were approaching a traffic light junction, so there's no reason for Miss Tiong to anticipate a sudden stopping.
'Mr Lim had created a dangerous situation. I found it rather distasteful that Mr Lim's demeanour in court showed that he couldn't be bothered that Miss Tiong had suffered severe injuries and trauma.'
Before giving his verdict, the judge pointed out that Mr Lim could have gone through the ERP gantry and paid an administrative fee of $10 for not having a CashCard.
LIABLE FOR DAMAGE
He ruled that Mr Lim and Miss Tiong were each 50 per cent liable for the damage caused to Mr Lye's car.
When contacted by The New Paper, Mr Lim insisted that he was not in the wrong.
He said in Mandarin: 'Are you a driver? Have you driven a car before?
'If you have, you should know that it's a driver's natural reaction (when you see an activated gantry).
'You can't say it's right or wrong because there's no right or wrong in such situations. I did switch on the hazard lights to warn the vehicles behind me.'
Mr Lim said that he felt sorry for the injured Miss Tiong, though he did not speak to her in court.
'She might think that I have an ulterior motive if I went up to her and apologised,' he said.
Just two days before the accident involving Miss Tiong, Mr Lim said he was involved in a similar accident along the East Coast Parkway.
Mr Lim told The New Paper that the car in front of his had slowed down suddenly.
'So I also braked and stopped my car to take a closer look at what the driver was up to and to take down his licence plate number,' he said.
'But the car behind me couldn't stop in time and ended up crashing into the rear of my car.'
Mr Lim said the first car then drove off. His car, a Honda Stream, ended up at the workshop for five days.
That was why he was driving a rented car, which did not have a CashCard in the IU.
Mr Lim added: 'If I was driving my car, this wouldn't have happened because I always have the CashCard inside the IU.'
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/printfriendly/0,4139,163364,00.html?
Emphases mine. I knew Singaporean drivers typically have depressed IQ but to go against Highway Code rules, I think Lim and Tiong ought to have both their licenses revoked. Stopping on the expressway and riding in the extreme right lane... what were they thinking? And why did no one die?
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Did She Jaywalk?
April 27, 2008
Cancer survivor fatally hit by cab; hubby tries to end life
By Aw Cheng Wei
A woman who survived breast cancer was killed in a road accident yesterday morning, and her husband was so distraught he tried to end his life.
For more than 20 minutes, he hit his head against the road and tried to bite off his tongue. He was finally restrained by paramedics.
The tragedy unfolded at about 10.15am.
Madam Chan Yoke Chan, 61, a member of Paddlers In The Pink, a dragon boat team comprising breast cancer survivors, had just finished training at Marina Reservoir in Kallang.
She was crossing Sims Avenue towards Kallang MRT station when she was knocked down by a taxi. She was about 50m from a pedestrian crossing when she was hit.
Eyewitness Sun Ai Cheng, 29, who was waiting for a bus on the opposite side of the road, said in Mandarin: 'I heard a loud bang and when I turned around, the woman was tumbling from the taxi. She was thrown 6 to 7m from the taxi.'
The other members of the dragon boat team were changing in the toilets at Marina Reservoir when the accident happened.
A passer-by recognised Madam Chan's pink shoes and her paddle - trademarks of the team - and informed them about it. They rushed to the scene.
At 11.05am, Madam Chan's husband, Mr Chan Gee Kan, 65, and their 26-year-old daughter arrived. He looked for witnesses to the accident before the reality of his wife's death hit him.
He started banging his head on the road and had to be held back by passers-by, including The Sunday Times team who was there, and family members.
He then tried to bite his own tongue and stab himself with his keys, and asked a police officer to hand him a gun to end his life.
'I have no choice, I want to accompany her. She will be so lonely,' he cried.
Four men had to pull him back and he was later strapped down to a stretcher-wheelchair by paramedics to calm him down.
Paddlers In The Pink members were shocked by the death.
Mrs Angelina Ong, 53, its team manager, said of Madam Chan: 'She was so dear to us, like a family member. She was the most wonderful person you could have as a friend.'
The team would usually have lunch together after their Saturday morning training but Madam Chan had left earlier saying she had to meet her daughter.
The 63-year-old taxi driver was in a state of shock.
He apologised profusely to Madam Chan's husband before the latter's breakdown, and the two men finally shook hands.
Police said the taxi driver has been arrested for causing death by a negligent act.
awcw@sph.com.sg
More reports: A woman who lived her life for others
Copyright © 2007 Singapore Press Holdings. All rights reserved. Privacy Statement & Condition of Access
http://www.straitstimes.com/print/Free/Story/STIStory_231599.html
Once I get a clearer picture, I'll give my two cents' worth.
Cancer survivor fatally hit by cab; hubby tries to end life
By Aw Cheng Wei
A woman who survived breast cancer was killed in a road accident yesterday morning, and her husband was so distraught he tried to end his life.
For more than 20 minutes, he hit his head against the road and tried to bite off his tongue. He was finally restrained by paramedics.
The tragedy unfolded at about 10.15am.
Madam Chan Yoke Chan, 61, a member of Paddlers In The Pink, a dragon boat team comprising breast cancer survivors, had just finished training at Marina Reservoir in Kallang.
She was crossing Sims Avenue towards Kallang MRT station when she was knocked down by a taxi. She was about 50m from a pedestrian crossing when she was hit.
Eyewitness Sun Ai Cheng, 29, who was waiting for a bus on the opposite side of the road, said in Mandarin: 'I heard a loud bang and when I turned around, the woman was tumbling from the taxi. She was thrown 6 to 7m from the taxi.'
The other members of the dragon boat team were changing in the toilets at Marina Reservoir when the accident happened.
A passer-by recognised Madam Chan's pink shoes and her paddle - trademarks of the team - and informed them about it. They rushed to the scene.
At 11.05am, Madam Chan's husband, Mr Chan Gee Kan, 65, and their 26-year-old daughter arrived. He looked for witnesses to the accident before the reality of his wife's death hit him.
He started banging his head on the road and had to be held back by passers-by, including The Sunday Times team who was there, and family members.
He then tried to bite his own tongue and stab himself with his keys, and asked a police officer to hand him a gun to end his life.
'I have no choice, I want to accompany her. She will be so lonely,' he cried.
Four men had to pull him back and he was later strapped down to a stretcher-wheelchair by paramedics to calm him down.
Paddlers In The Pink members were shocked by the death.
Mrs Angelina Ong, 53, its team manager, said of Madam Chan: 'She was so dear to us, like a family member. She was the most wonderful person you could have as a friend.'
The team would usually have lunch together after their Saturday morning training but Madam Chan had left earlier saying she had to meet her daughter.
The 63-year-old taxi driver was in a state of shock.
He apologised profusely to Madam Chan's husband before the latter's breakdown, and the two men finally shook hands.
Police said the taxi driver has been arrested for causing death by a negligent act.
awcw@sph.com.sg
More reports: A woman who lived her life for others
Copyright © 2007 Singapore Press Holdings. All rights reserved. Privacy Statement & Condition of Access
http://www.straitstimes.com/print/Free/Story/STIStory_231599.html
Once I get a clearer picture, I'll give my two cents' worth.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Managing Your Time Effectively
To know the value of one year - Ask the student who failed their final.
To know the value of one month - ask the mother of a premature baby.
To know the value of one week - ask the editor of a weekly magazine.
To know the value of one day - ask the wager earner with six children.
To know the value of one hour - ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To know the value of one minute - ask the person who missed the plane.
To know the value of one second - ask the person who survived the accident.
To know the value of one millisecond - ask the Olympic silver medalist.
- Best-selling author and leadership guru John C. Maxwell
To know the value of eleven minutes - ask JI detainee, Mas Selamat Kastari, who escaped from Singapore's Internal Security Department's detention centre through the toilet.
To know the value of twenty minutes - ask MM Lee, who said that it is possible to travel from anywhere in Singapore to one corner.
I think if everyone of us takes a leaf out of Mas' book, we could achieve a lot in our lifetimes. Imagine! 11 minutes to escape and 20 minutes to get from point to point in Singapore.
I must be doing something really wrong - I take public transport to work and arrive in 35 minutes. I drive to work and take 50 minutes. Go figure.
To know the value of one month - ask the mother of a premature baby.
To know the value of one week - ask the editor of a weekly magazine.
To know the value of one day - ask the wager earner with six children.
To know the value of one hour - ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To know the value of one minute - ask the person who missed the plane.
To know the value of one second - ask the person who survived the accident.
To know the value of one millisecond - ask the Olympic silver medalist.
- Best-selling author and leadership guru John C. Maxwell
To know the value of eleven minutes - ask JI detainee, Mas Selamat Kastari, who escaped from Singapore's Internal Security Department's detention centre through the toilet.
To know the value of twenty minutes - ask MM Lee, who said that it is possible to travel from anywhere in Singapore to one corner.
I think if everyone of us takes a leaf out of Mas' book, we could achieve a lot in our lifetimes. Imagine! 11 minutes to escape and 20 minutes to get from point to point in Singapore.
I must be doing something really wrong - I take public transport to work and arrive in 35 minutes. I drive to work and take 50 minutes. Go figure.
The Fruit of the Writer Plant is the Poisoned Pen
(This is written in response to imnaught's entry on "haves and have-nots".)
Interestingly, the concept of haves and have-nots has been proposed by the haves, not the have-nots.
The abundant and the bestowed usually have the prerogative and, sadly too, the presumptuousness to plaster labels on those they deem lesser than them. Who would you call dirty if you are not clean? Who would you call hungry if you are not full? Who would you call stupid if you (thought you) are not smart? Who would you call have-nots if you are not a have?
Stereotyping is another past time of the bullies. Some people think the world of literary authors; they feel these people have highlighted the plight of the downtrodden and oppressed. But what exactly have authors done apart from merely hanging over these people a guillitone-like sign that condemns them to yet a newer, further frontier from humanity's core? Or worse, constantly writing stuff that invoke people to renew their beliefs in the existing stereotypes.
The hypocrisy of the haves is also galling. If the upper-crust was indeed inclusive and these celebrities really believe in their AIDS cause in Africa, then why do they ask for sponsorship money rather than move there and stay with these people? Why slap on a label such as "AIDS orphans" or "Women with AIDS" and cause these people more misery? Why just ask for money, then run back to their resource and energy guzzling mansions in the Western world? Does Africa not have enough land for them to build another sprawling bungalow there? This is food for us to think about.
At this point, I just wanted to put on record what I said last night over dinner - Singapore is perhaps the only country where we get fewer and fewer live fund raising programmes. The main reason for this is perhaps the incongruence between the intent and the manifestation. But I shall not go beyond that, for it'll be flogging a dead horse.
Back to the observation about the sterotyping and labelling by the privileged: while thugs bully with their fists and knifes and guns, writers and authors bully with their pens and ideas. Their pen is mightier than others' swords. Small wonder many of them died of STDs.
Interestingly, the concept of haves and have-nots has been proposed by the haves, not the have-nots.
The abundant and the bestowed usually have the prerogative and, sadly too, the presumptuousness to plaster labels on those they deem lesser than them. Who would you call dirty if you are not clean? Who would you call hungry if you are not full? Who would you call stupid if you (thought you) are not smart? Who would you call have-nots if you are not a have?
Stereotyping is another past time of the bullies. Some people think the world of literary authors; they feel these people have highlighted the plight of the downtrodden and oppressed. But what exactly have authors done apart from merely hanging over these people a guillitone-like sign that condemns them to yet a newer, further frontier from humanity's core? Or worse, constantly writing stuff that invoke people to renew their beliefs in the existing stereotypes.
The hypocrisy of the haves is also galling. If the upper-crust was indeed inclusive and these celebrities really believe in their AIDS cause in Africa, then why do they ask for sponsorship money rather than move there and stay with these people? Why slap on a label such as "AIDS orphans" or "Women with AIDS" and cause these people more misery? Why just ask for money, then run back to their resource and energy guzzling mansions in the Western world? Does Africa not have enough land for them to build another sprawling bungalow there? This is food for us to think about.
At this point, I just wanted to put on record what I said last night over dinner - Singapore is perhaps the only country where we get fewer and fewer live fund raising programmes. The main reason for this is perhaps the incongruence between the intent and the manifestation. But I shall not go beyond that, for it'll be flogging a dead horse.
Back to the observation about the sterotyping and labelling by the privileged: while thugs bully with their fists and knifes and guns, writers and authors bully with their pens and ideas. Their pen is mightier than others' swords. Small wonder many of them died of STDs.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Improvisational Cooking
I have been watching too much AFC. (I am so shy to even tell you what it stands for. But what the heck - Asian Food Channel.) I have been watching the likes of famous chefs such as Jean-Christoph Nouvelli (usually on Saturday/Everyday Cooks), Michael Smith (Chef at Home/Chef at Large), Anna Olsen (Sugar), Gordon Ramsey (Hell's Kitchen/The F Word), Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall (River Cottage Series), Jamie Oliver (Jamie's own cooking series), Robert Rainford (License to Grill) etc. I know I would be accused of being silly to put Nigella Dawson here but hey, she whips up a mean supper (the Brits got it all wrong - supper's for late night; it's dinner). So challenge me!
And I must say that these great cooks have one thing in common: they are not sticklers of recipes.
There is no better teacher than experience. Cooking is about getting your hands dirty and finding out in the end if things work out.
If you are where I am at, things like parsnip and lamb and whatever you need in those "atas" (high class) cook books cost an arm and an leg. You are better off not following them than following them because you are going to be a couple of items short of the complete recipe. To acquire that missing item at the atas supermarket, that item's cost will probably be 50% or more of the remaining stuff you need. (I believe they call it the Pareto Principle - and it's for the cost and not for the taste.) People are worried about their food not turning out right. They are worried about not getting the correct flavour. They loathe to make replacements.
But these great chefs on TV keep emphasising one thing - whatever you already have at home can do the job well enough. I think I have benefited from their wisdom. I change my food preparation techniques so that I get my onions out in half the time I used to. I taste my marinades before I dump in the food. I taste my food before I serve. I throw in my seasonings without measurement. I know when a dollop of butter, a dash of olive oil, a splash of balsamic vinegar, a squirt of fish sauce, a touch of pepper, a sprinkling of sugar or a few twists of my miracle salt will do the trick.
And most importantly, you need a group of friends who are most adventurous and supportive of your culinary experiments. They should be people who tell you that there is no failed experiment. Cooked food is good food. And before you know it, you are off to even greater culinary heights.
PS. I am usually floored by simple dishes and small portions. I burnt a pot of quick cooking oats I prepared for two persons' breakfast yesterday. *Blush*
And I must say that these great cooks have one thing in common: they are not sticklers of recipes.
There is no better teacher than experience. Cooking is about getting your hands dirty and finding out in the end if things work out.
If you are where I am at, things like parsnip and lamb and whatever you need in those "atas" (high class) cook books cost an arm and an leg. You are better off not following them than following them because you are going to be a couple of items short of the complete recipe. To acquire that missing item at the atas supermarket, that item's cost will probably be 50% or more of the remaining stuff you need. (I believe they call it the Pareto Principle - and it's for the cost and not for the taste.) People are worried about their food not turning out right. They are worried about not getting the correct flavour. They loathe to make replacements.
But these great chefs on TV keep emphasising one thing - whatever you already have at home can do the job well enough. I think I have benefited from their wisdom. I change my food preparation techniques so that I get my onions out in half the time I used to. I taste my marinades before I dump in the food. I taste my food before I serve. I throw in my seasonings without measurement. I know when a dollop of butter, a dash of olive oil, a splash of balsamic vinegar, a squirt of fish sauce, a touch of pepper, a sprinkling of sugar or a few twists of my miracle salt will do the trick.
And most importantly, you need a group of friends who are most adventurous and supportive of your culinary experiments. They should be people who tell you that there is no failed experiment. Cooked food is good food. And before you know it, you are off to even greater culinary heights.
PS. I am usually floored by simple dishes and small portions. I burnt a pot of quick cooking oats I prepared for two persons' breakfast yesterday. *Blush*
"Leducing" Leftovers
(Ok, lame try at alliteration. Hahaha....)
Leftovers, leftovers, leftovers. What better than to pile everything together and bake bread pudding?
The Recipe
Foreword: This is a very healthy recipe. No oil is added. If you are feeling ascetic, you could even remove an egg or a yolk, reduce the sugar, omit the chocolate medallions, omit the nuts if you are nut-resistant and omit the honey. It is really a free for all recipe.
2 cups of milk (I used low fat, high calcium.)
2 eggs - 2nd egg or 2nd egg yolk optional
3 tablespoons of sugar (instead of 4, and there will be a variation to the typical bread pudding!)
Mix the liquids and the sugar together. Make sure that the sugar dissolves.
8 slices of stale bread
Dunk into milk-egg mixture and let it soak up the mixture.
1 tube of stale coarsely crushed chocolate chip cookies (there - here's the variation. This is where the fats and additional sugar come in!) - optional
1 large handful of raisins (I used organic this time.)
pinch of cinnamon powder
pinch of nutmeg powder - optional
pinch of ginger powder - optional
(or you can replace the 3 spices with a liberal dash of vanilla extract)
Add the other dry ingredients and fold them in. Do not pulverise the wet bread.
Pour one-third baking mixture into baking tin lined with wax paper (I hate washing. That's why the wax paper.)
3 handfuls of dark chocolate medallions - optional
At the top of this layer, add a layer of dark chocolate medallions (about 1.5 handful). Repeat with next one-third of mixture. Top up mixture with the final portion, making sure that all the mixture covers the second layer of medallions. If you are baking this in an oven, feel free to divide up the mixture into as many portions as you want and place in as many layers of chocolate medallions as your arteries could possibly accommodate.
Crushed walnuts - optional
Crushed almonds - optional
Honey - if you want to leave this out, then drizzle 2 tablespoons of soft brown sugar on top of the mixture before baking so that light caramelisation takes place
Scatter freshly crushed walnuts and almonds. Drizzle a liberal amount of honey over the nuts.
Bake at 160 deg C (fan assisted) for 50 minutes - forget about preheating. Turn up to max heat for last 5 minutes.
For those using a bread machine, pack in the baking mixture and add the medallions. You probably can have about 5 layers. Set it down to bake with the bake function. Let the machine do its work.
Now, I need to recipe for a custard sauce to go with this.
It's really an SOS!
Another shot of this wonderful bread pudding that was given away to a dear friend the next morning because, honestly, I am facing a food SOS. There is too much food left and I need to clear out, clear out....
What's that rumble in the background...?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Doing a Quinsy
Well, I screwed up my timing on Monday and had to do a Quinsy. Aiyah, take a cab lah. You never read her blog meh? That woman is damned solid. Whole day got money to take cab, then complain broke. Really quite the can. I wonder how this Justin T is keeping up. He's often broke too, or so I understand from her blog.
Anyway, I am not here to judge. Neither am I here to say anything negative about her. I just wanted to share what happens when I break my vow of ta-xi/ce-libacy and had to rush from Aljunied to SMU on a cab. No, there was no way I could be in time if I took the train and the last thing I wanted was to enter the meeting room hungry and sweaty. Furthermore, I just battled the animals in Sec 1 Normal (Academic) class.
Ok, since I am here, allow me to digress. Today, two kiddies came to ask a teacher to return a handphone. Apparently, student A lent his phone to student B, who promptly used it and got caught. Teacher T then confiscated A's phone when B was using it. A and B came to the staff room and demanded for the phone back. T asked why should the phone be returned, since B had violated the school rules in the first place by using the phone in class when he was not allowed to.
So there was some mini commotion out there and finally, T said, Do you know what it is like to walk into your class? It is like walking into hell. You know, hell? Hell on earth? Your class is like hell on earth. You are the little monsters in hell.... Wah! Shiok! Finally, another teacher now has the gumption to tell it like it is.
Hallelujah! Praises! Amazing Grace. T sees! There is hope. There is a god! I nearly broke into song a la Sister Act in the staff room. Fortunately, I didn't. Still, those very words were holiest prayers for my ears. My soul was immediately uplifted. I was exhilerated. It was like the final stages of some exocism - "In the name of ..., I command you to return to your classroom..."
I'm getting carried away but please allow me just this once to celebrate this miracle. I have always felt I am a bad fit to the school because I am a Buddhist while they are mostly Methodist or Christians. I call a spade a spade and in a manner which will sometimes grate on the other's nerves. I guess they might call me a little "radical". But hey, spare a rod and grow your monsters. I am a monster in class. My class never knows the weather of the day. The kids don't need to. And they shouldn't try. Because I don't know what I will feel the next minute either.
So, back to the doing the Quinsy. I hailed a cab at the bus stop outside the Aljunied MRT station and said I wanted to go SMU. And the driver went, which part of SMU? I was amazed this question propped out. The entire SMU is just a lump in the heart of the city. Only the Admin block is far away. The rest are more or less concentrated around a quadrangle. So I said, opposite Chijmes. He said Victoria Street. I said, yes. Well, I know not my street names but I know how to get there. This is a driver's curse.
And so he drove there and got both of us onto Victoria Street. Then I asked if he could turn into Stamford Road, where I needed to get to. He said no. I was a little perturbed - since you know that there is no right turn, then who not take South Bridge Road so that we can get there? No point pushing this.
So I asked if I could alight by the roadside. He said no, he can't stop because of the new ruling banning taxis from stopping at non-designated areas within the business district. So he said, he'll turn into Chijmes. That's great, I said. I could cross the road. Not much of a walk, anyway, I added.
I wanted to assure him that I wouldn't go and complain against him for such a little thing. After all, if the passenger cannot be clear where he intends to go, then the taxi driver is not to be blamed for not being able to get him there.
So he turned into Chijmes at the first opening. I hardly finished my sentence that he had entered via a one-way exit, he said, never mind. Just stop ahead. He stopped in a lot near a valet parking service and he realised that his actions were observed by a guard. Sheepish about it, he asked me to wait while he reversed the taxi to make a direction change.
He shifted into reverse and backed the taxi out as though there was no tomorrow. The next thing, his rear bumper whacked into the front bumper of a Honda Jazz. It was so fast I could hardly tell him to stop. Then I said, you hit a car. He then said, oh, I hit a car?
He quickly shifted to drive gear and moved off. I paid him the cash and he rummaged through his pouch to get me my change. Before he managed, the guard walked up to him and said, "You hit a car you know?"
I got off the cab by then, took my changed and walked out of the compound. There was no use lingering there. With or without me in the car, such reckless reversing of any car would result in grief.
What I cannot understand is this: With the phenomenal increase in taxi prices, where is there no corresponding increase in the service standards?
Anyway, I am not here to judge. Neither am I here to say anything negative about her. I just wanted to share what happens when I break my vow of ta-xi/ce-libacy and had to rush from Aljunied to SMU on a cab. No, there was no way I could be in time if I took the train and the last thing I wanted was to enter the meeting room hungry and sweaty. Furthermore, I just battled the animals in Sec 1 Normal (Academic) class.
Ok, since I am here, allow me to digress. Today, two kiddies came to ask a teacher to return a handphone. Apparently, student A lent his phone to student B, who promptly used it and got caught. Teacher T then confiscated A's phone when B was using it. A and B came to the staff room and demanded for the phone back. T asked why should the phone be returned, since B had violated the school rules in the first place by using the phone in class when he was not allowed to.
So there was some mini commotion out there and finally, T said, Do you know what it is like to walk into your class? It is like walking into hell. You know, hell? Hell on earth? Your class is like hell on earth. You are the little monsters in hell.... Wah! Shiok! Finally, another teacher now has the gumption to tell it like it is.
Hallelujah! Praises! Amazing Grace. T sees! There is hope. There is a god! I nearly broke into song a la Sister Act in the staff room. Fortunately, I didn't. Still, those very words were holiest prayers for my ears. My soul was immediately uplifted. I was exhilerated. It was like the final stages of some exocism - "In the name of ..., I command you to return to your classroom..."
I'm getting carried away but please allow me just this once to celebrate this miracle. I have always felt I am a bad fit to the school because I am a Buddhist while they are mostly Methodist or Christians. I call a spade a spade and in a manner which will sometimes grate on the other's nerves. I guess they might call me a little "radical". But hey, spare a rod and grow your monsters. I am a monster in class. My class never knows the weather of the day. The kids don't need to. And they shouldn't try. Because I don't know what I will feel the next minute either.
So, back to the doing the Quinsy. I hailed a cab at the bus stop outside the Aljunied MRT station and said I wanted to go SMU. And the driver went, which part of SMU? I was amazed this question propped out. The entire SMU is just a lump in the heart of the city. Only the Admin block is far away. The rest are more or less concentrated around a quadrangle. So I said, opposite Chijmes. He said Victoria Street. I said, yes. Well, I know not my street names but I know how to get there. This is a driver's curse.
And so he drove there and got both of us onto Victoria Street. Then I asked if he could turn into Stamford Road, where I needed to get to. He said no. I was a little perturbed - since you know that there is no right turn, then who not take South Bridge Road so that we can get there? No point pushing this.
So I asked if I could alight by the roadside. He said no, he can't stop because of the new ruling banning taxis from stopping at non-designated areas within the business district. So he said, he'll turn into Chijmes. That's great, I said. I could cross the road. Not much of a walk, anyway, I added.
I wanted to assure him that I wouldn't go and complain against him for such a little thing. After all, if the passenger cannot be clear where he intends to go, then the taxi driver is not to be blamed for not being able to get him there.
So he turned into Chijmes at the first opening. I hardly finished my sentence that he had entered via a one-way exit, he said, never mind. Just stop ahead. He stopped in a lot near a valet parking service and he realised that his actions were observed by a guard. Sheepish about it, he asked me to wait while he reversed the taxi to make a direction change.
He shifted into reverse and backed the taxi out as though there was no tomorrow. The next thing, his rear bumper whacked into the front bumper of a Honda Jazz. It was so fast I could hardly tell him to stop. Then I said, you hit a car. He then said, oh, I hit a car?
He quickly shifted to drive gear and moved off. I paid him the cash and he rummaged through his pouch to get me my change. Before he managed, the guard walked up to him and said, "You hit a car you know?"
I got off the cab by then, took my changed and walked out of the compound. There was no use lingering there. With or without me in the car, such reckless reversing of any car would result in grief.
What I cannot understand is this: With the phenomenal increase in taxi prices, where is there no corresponding increase in the service standards?
How is life now?
Very simple question. Very complex answer.
Two possible versions. I'll give the short one.
LIFE IS GOOD! In fact, as good as it gets.
Busy but fulfilling. Work is piling up and in shambles - just like everything else now - but there is a clear direction where things are heading. And best of all, I can turn down work that I don't want to do without fear of any repurcussions. This is important for me.
I so ain't going to be held hostage by months of bonuses now. I get paid a fair value for what I do. Or if the value is not what I ask for, I can decide if I still want to do it. Or I may do something for much less, if I like it or I feel for it or I want to do it. There is nothing more powerful than having a say in the work you do. Having the passion makes a big difference in your work. Mediocrity results otherwise.
The power to choose now resides with me. I choose joy, passion, happiness and love. The joy of living, the passion in doing what you love, the happiness that comes from the fruits of your labour and loving whatever that comes your way.
Life. You only live once. Decide wisely.
Two possible versions. I'll give the short one.
LIFE IS GOOD! In fact, as good as it gets.
Busy but fulfilling. Work is piling up and in shambles - just like everything else now - but there is a clear direction where things are heading. And best of all, I can turn down work that I don't want to do without fear of any repurcussions. This is important for me.
I so ain't going to be held hostage by months of bonuses now. I get paid a fair value for what I do. Or if the value is not what I ask for, I can decide if I still want to do it. Or I may do something for much less, if I like it or I feel for it or I want to do it. There is nothing more powerful than having a say in the work you do. Having the passion makes a big difference in your work. Mediocrity results otherwise.
The power to choose now resides with me. I choose joy, passion, happiness and love. The joy of living, the passion in doing what you love, the happiness that comes from the fruits of your labour and loving whatever that comes your way.
Life. You only live once. Decide wisely.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Un-squirrelling myself
Just deleted about 400 emails.
It was tough because I have emotional attachment with many of them, ok, some of them. Deleting them was like wiping out a portion of my past. But I needed to do that. A good reason is because of my desire not to hoard or become overly emotional to things. Letting go is terribly difficult. It is. I know.
But I've got to start somewhere.
A little amount of affluence is a curse. The existence of that additional disposable income entices people to buy things. And then because I am no Brangelina or TomKat or Madonna Riche or well, you get the drift, it is tough to pry me from my belongings or vice versa. I become senselessly attached to my things because they cost money to buy and I don't think I am in a position to simply throw the thing away and buy a new one. So I keep whatever I buy.
One exception is food. But even then, food poses its unique problems. We tend to have a visual appetite that is astronomically larger than our actual appetite. I had been guilty of storing food (because I just had to have it in my larder) until they expire. This is so unforgivable. I'd caused riots in Africa if I had sent those cans and tins there before they expired, but I didn't. Because I didn't know they had expired until they were long past expiry.
See, one accompanying trait of squirrels like me is the dog-gone memory. I won't even know I have what I have, until I come back with another bag of the same stuff. Only when I am unpacking and storing the spoils of my supermarket sweep in my larder do I realise that I still have 5 kilogrammes of pasta not yet opened, 12 kilos of bread flour not yet opened, 3 kg of cooking oil, 7 cans of pasta sauce... And then I regret and kick myself for overbuying and overstocking. (Then for overeating.)
The remorse lasts for a few days until I next land up in Carrefour or Cold Storage or Giant Hypermarket where I repeat the same process. I think human beings are inherently mentally wired to spend money. There must be some default setting in my mind that makes us empty out our wallets. Just see a man in a casino.
So, back to my larder bursting at the seams. Space is a perennial limitation. But the stock at the supermarket doesn't seem to abate. Each time I visit, I see new products, new packing of old products, new label design of old products, new variations of old products, new.... Well, I am human after all. I am always enticed by something new. So I end up with new stock for my larder. I digressed a lot again.
So, the point is this - I believe that pruning is sometimes healthy and necessary. It provides room for new things to grow. And it encourages me to give up things that are no longer of that much value. When I have consciously thinned out my emails, it does not mean I have thinned out my feelings or emotions. But I have also come to the realisation that I am only willing to carry so much baggage along. Any extra and the additional burden would outstrip the beauty brought about by reminiscing the past. Any less, well, new ones can perhaps come along and fill the gap. We all have different loads that we ought to and want to carry.
This is also a difficult lesson for squirrels to learn. I know, for I am also still learning.
It was tough because I have emotional attachment with many of them, ok, some of them. Deleting them was like wiping out a portion of my past. But I needed to do that. A good reason is because of my desire not to hoard or become overly emotional to things. Letting go is terribly difficult. It is. I know.
But I've got to start somewhere.
A little amount of affluence is a curse. The existence of that additional disposable income entices people to buy things. And then because I am no Brangelina or TomKat or Madonna Riche or well, you get the drift, it is tough to pry me from my belongings or vice versa. I become senselessly attached to my things because they cost money to buy and I don't think I am in a position to simply throw the thing away and buy a new one. So I keep whatever I buy.
One exception is food. But even then, food poses its unique problems. We tend to have a visual appetite that is astronomically larger than our actual appetite. I had been guilty of storing food (because I just had to have it in my larder) until they expire. This is so unforgivable. I'd caused riots in Africa if I had sent those cans and tins there before they expired, but I didn't. Because I didn't know they had expired until they were long past expiry.
See, one accompanying trait of squirrels like me is the dog-gone memory. I won't even know I have what I have, until I come back with another bag of the same stuff. Only when I am unpacking and storing the spoils of my supermarket sweep in my larder do I realise that I still have 5 kilogrammes of pasta not yet opened, 12 kilos of bread flour not yet opened, 3 kg of cooking oil, 7 cans of pasta sauce... And then I regret and kick myself for overbuying and overstocking. (Then for overeating.)
The remorse lasts for a few days until I next land up in Carrefour or Cold Storage or Giant Hypermarket where I repeat the same process. I think human beings are inherently mentally wired to spend money. There must be some default setting in my mind that makes us empty out our wallets. Just see a man in a casino.
So, back to my larder bursting at the seams. Space is a perennial limitation. But the stock at the supermarket doesn't seem to abate. Each time I visit, I see new products, new packing of old products, new label design of old products, new variations of old products, new.... Well, I am human after all. I am always enticed by something new. So I end up with new stock for my larder. I digressed a lot again.
So, the point is this - I believe that pruning is sometimes healthy and necessary. It provides room for new things to grow. And it encourages me to give up things that are no longer of that much value. When I have consciously thinned out my emails, it does not mean I have thinned out my feelings or emotions. But I have also come to the realisation that I am only willing to carry so much baggage along. Any extra and the additional burden would outstrip the beauty brought about by reminiscing the past. Any less, well, new ones can perhaps come along and fill the gap. We all have different loads that we ought to and want to carry.
This is also a difficult lesson for squirrels to learn. I know, for I am also still learning.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
历史故事：周处除三害
【明慧学校】“周处除三害”是中国历史上一个很有名的故事。周处是晋代义举阳羡（今江苏宜兴）人，少年时就失去父教。周处不拘小节，性情凶悍粗鲁，恣意妄为，简直成了乡中一害，乡亲们都十分怕他，总是躲得远远的，不愿和他交往。
久而久之，周处也知道自己为乡亲们所憎恶，便有了悔改之意。他见乡亲们大多愁眉不展，闷闷不乐，心里觉得奇怪，便问道：“如今天下太平，风调雨顺，五谷丰登，事事都如人意，为甚么还郁郁不乐呢？”父老们答道：“现今地方上有三害未除，哪里能快乐得起来呢？”周处问道：“是哪三害？”父老答道：“南山上的白额猛虎随意伤人，为一害；长桥下的河中蛟龙常伤人畜，又是一害；至于第三害……”说到此处，父老们有些犹豫，但还是说了出来：“恐怕要算是你了。”
周处听罢此言，沉默良久，最后他决然说道：“这三害我都能除去！”
周处身带利器，孤身进山搜寻白额猛虎，与猛虎一番拼搏，终于杀死了这只伤人性命的猛兽。接著他又奋身投入河中，去搏杀那只蛟龙。蛟龙在水中或沉或浮，一连三日三夜，毫不知倦。而周处比蛟龙更勇猛，他与蛟龙恶战三日三夜，终于将蛟龙斩杀。
周处三日不归，乡亲们以为他已经死了。想到地方上一下子三害俱去，从此可以太平无事，乡亲们都高兴的互相庆贺，欢喜雀跃。这时候，周处正好归来，眼见乡亲们的高兴情景，才明白自己被大家痛恨到了何等地步，顿时大受刺激，这也更加坚定了他改过自新、从新做人的决心。
周处决心已定，立即付诸行动。他了解到吴中大将陆逊的孙子陆机、陆云很有才学，便专程前去拜访，想拜他们为师。周处只见到了陆云，将自己的情况如实相告，问陆云：“我很想改过自新，但是年纪已经大了，不知是否来得及？”陆云鼓励周处道：“古人贵朝闻夕改，君前途尚可。且患志之不立，何忧名之不彰！”
陆云的一番话极大的教育、鼓励了周处，他从中领悟了有志者事竟成的深刻道理。从此，周处刻苦读书，好学上进。他勤学而有文思，又十分注重自身修养，养成了良好的品德。仅一年，他的名声就大大的不同以往，以至于州、府的官员都举荐他出来做官。
此后，周处为官三十余年。在任时，他克尽职守，很有政绩，如在新平任太守时，与少数民族关系相处得很好；当广汉太守时，为官清廉，处理了不少数十年留存下来的积案；当御史中丞后，他秉公执法，不阿附权贵，他的刚正不阿，自然是难以见容于恶势力。
后来，少数民族首领齐万年造反，朝中想加害于周处的权贵故意推荐他去征讨。有人知道那些朝臣们的险恶用心，规劝周处推辞掉这个差使，周处坚决说道：“忠孝岂能两全，既然辞别亲人，服务于朝廷，父母亲哪里还能把儿子仅仅当作自己的私有之物呢？今天是我献身的时候了！”最后周处由于恶人的陷害，战死疆场，以身殉国。
周处勇于改过，忠于国事，由一个地方恶少转变为忠臣良将，给后人以很大的启发。他的故事说明，一个人做错了事，但只要立志改过，从善如流，是有光明前途的，有志者事竟成，只要下定决心，踏踏实实的去做。
Historical story: Zhou Chu Eliminates the Three Menaces
"Zhou Chu eliminates the three menaces" is a famous story in Chinese history. Zhou Chu is a youth who lost his father, and thus was rather ill-bred. Zhou Chu is brash, fierce and willful; he was simply a menace to his township. His fellow villagers all feared him, always hid from him and were unwilling to associate with him.
Gradually, Zhou Chu knew of his fellow villagers’ detest for him and had intentions to repent. He saw his fellow villagers mostly looking worried and depressed. He felt sorry for them and he asked: "There is peace throughout the country, good weather, bumper harvests. Everyone has his heart’s desires. But why are they so depressed?"
The village elders reply: "The people of this town face the three menaces. How can we enjoy what we have?"
Zhou Chu asks: "What are the three menaces?" The elder replies: "On Nanshan, a fierce tiger eats people at will; that is the first menace. In the Long Bridge River, a serpent often attacks livestock; that is the second menace. As for the third menace,... ... " The elders somewhat hesitates, but still said: "Perhaps that had to be you."
Zhou Chu listened to the elders and was silent for a long time. Finally he made up his mind, "The three menaces, I can overcome them!"
The next week, Zhou Chu took his weapons and entered Nanshan alone. He searched for the tiger and finally killed this first menace. He then went over to the river to slay the serpent. The serpent was able to sinks in the water or floats. Zhou Chu had to fight continually for three days and nights. But Zhou Chu is fiercer than the serpent and he finally cuts the serpent, killing it.
When Zhou Chu failed to return on the third night, the fellow villagers thought he already died. They thought that the three menaces were all gone at the same time. Peace would reign from this time on. The fellow villagers were all happy. Mutually congratulations and delighted cries for joy were in the air. At this moment, Zhou Chu returned and saw with his own eyes how the fellow villagers rejoiced. Only then did he understand how hated he was by everybody. It saddened him greatly but a steely resolve grew in him and strengthened his determination to turn over a new leaf.
Zhou Chu's determination to reform himself and change his ways paid off. As one who was loyal to the country and was an official. He was killed by rebels when he was sent to quell them by other court officials who wanted to get rid of him. However, his ability to give up his evil was and become virtuous remained inspirational. His story explained that even after a person has made a mistake but as long as he resolved to reform, accepted good advice readily, he will have the ability to turn over a new leaf.
久而久之，周处也知道自己为乡亲们所憎恶，便有了悔改之意。他见乡亲们大多愁眉不展，闷闷不乐，心里觉得奇怪，便问道：“如今天下太平，风调雨顺，五谷丰登，事事都如人意，为甚么还郁郁不乐呢？”父老们答道：“现今地方上有三害未除，哪里能快乐得起来呢？”周处问道：“是哪三害？”父老答道：“南山上的白额猛虎随意伤人，为一害；长桥下的河中蛟龙常伤人畜，又是一害；至于第三害……”说到此处，父老们有些犹豫，但还是说了出来：“恐怕要算是你了。”
周处听罢此言，沉默良久，最后他决然说道：“这三害我都能除去！”
周处身带利器，孤身进山搜寻白额猛虎，与猛虎一番拼搏，终于杀死了这只伤人性命的猛兽。接著他又奋身投入河中，去搏杀那只蛟龙。蛟龙在水中或沉或浮，一连三日三夜，毫不知倦。而周处比蛟龙更勇猛，他与蛟龙恶战三日三夜，终于将蛟龙斩杀。
周处三日不归，乡亲们以为他已经死了。想到地方上一下子三害俱去，从此可以太平无事，乡亲们都高兴的互相庆贺，欢喜雀跃。这时候，周处正好归来，眼见乡亲们的高兴情景，才明白自己被大家痛恨到了何等地步，顿时大受刺激，这也更加坚定了他改过自新、从新做人的决心。
周处决心已定，立即付诸行动。他了解到吴中大将陆逊的孙子陆机、陆云很有才学，便专程前去拜访，想拜他们为师。周处只见到了陆云，将自己的情况如实相告，问陆云：“我很想改过自新，但是年纪已经大了，不知是否来得及？”陆云鼓励周处道：“古人贵朝闻夕改，君前途尚可。且患志之不立，何忧名之不彰！”
陆云的一番话极大的教育、鼓励了周处，他从中领悟了有志者事竟成的深刻道理。从此，周处刻苦读书，好学上进。他勤学而有文思，又十分注重自身修养，养成了良好的品德。仅一年，他的名声就大大的不同以往，以至于州、府的官员都举荐他出来做官。
此后，周处为官三十余年。在任时，他克尽职守，很有政绩，如在新平任太守时，与少数民族关系相处得很好；当广汉太守时，为官清廉，处理了不少数十年留存下来的积案；当御史中丞后，他秉公执法，不阿附权贵，他的刚正不阿，自然是难以见容于恶势力。
后来，少数民族首领齐万年造反，朝中想加害于周处的权贵故意推荐他去征讨。有人知道那些朝臣们的险恶用心，规劝周处推辞掉这个差使，周处坚决说道：“忠孝岂能两全，既然辞别亲人，服务于朝廷，父母亲哪里还能把儿子仅仅当作自己的私有之物呢？今天是我献身的时候了！”最后周处由于恶人的陷害，战死疆场，以身殉国。
周处勇于改过，忠于国事，由一个地方恶少转变为忠臣良将，给后人以很大的启发。他的故事说明，一个人做错了事，但只要立志改过，从善如流，是有光明前途的，有志者事竟成，只要下定决心，踏踏实实的去做。
Historical story: Zhou Chu Eliminates the Three Menaces
"Zhou Chu eliminates the three menaces" is a famous story in Chinese history. Zhou Chu is a youth who lost his father, and thus was rather ill-bred. Zhou Chu is brash, fierce and willful; he was simply a menace to his township. His fellow villagers all feared him, always hid from him and were unwilling to associate with him.
Gradually, Zhou Chu knew of his fellow villagers’ detest for him and had intentions to repent. He saw his fellow villagers mostly looking worried and depressed. He felt sorry for them and he asked: "There is peace throughout the country, good weather, bumper harvests. Everyone has his heart’s desires. But why are they so depressed?"
The village elders reply: "The people of this town face the three menaces. How can we enjoy what we have?"
Zhou Chu asks: "What are the three menaces?" The elder replies: "On Nanshan, a fierce tiger eats people at will; that is the first menace. In the Long Bridge River, a serpent often attacks livestock; that is the second menace. As for the third menace,... ... " The elders somewhat hesitates, but still said: "Perhaps that had to be you."
Zhou Chu listened to the elders and was silent for a long time. Finally he made up his mind, "The three menaces, I can overcome them!"
The next week, Zhou Chu took his weapons and entered Nanshan alone. He searched for the tiger and finally killed this first menace. He then went over to the river to slay the serpent. The serpent was able to sinks in the water or floats. Zhou Chu had to fight continually for three days and nights. But Zhou Chu is fiercer than the serpent and he finally cuts the serpent, killing it.
When Zhou Chu failed to return on the third night, the fellow villagers thought he already died. They thought that the three menaces were all gone at the same time. Peace would reign from this time on. The fellow villagers were all happy. Mutually congratulations and delighted cries for joy were in the air. At this moment, Zhou Chu returned and saw with his own eyes how the fellow villagers rejoiced. Only then did he understand how hated he was by everybody. It saddened him greatly but a steely resolve grew in him and strengthened his determination to turn over a new leaf.
Zhou Chu's determination to reform himself and change his ways paid off. As one who was loyal to the country and was an official. He was killed by rebels when he was sent to quell them by other court officials who wanted to get rid of him. However, his ability to give up his evil was and become virtuous remained inspirational. His story explained that even after a person has made a mistake but as long as he resolved to reform, accepted good advice readily, he will have the ability to turn over a new leaf.
Sublime Parenting Skills
Lest you be deemed a lousy or hopeless parent, here is an arsenal of skills that you should master before meeting your child's teachers in the event of a complaint.
1. Make an appointment and then turn up late.
When you are cornered for missing the appointment, insist that you have informed your child to inform the teacher of your latecoming, if the teacher manages to track the child down and ask (that is).
2. Insist that your child was all right the years before.
Claim that the child only turned bad when s/he came to this school or entered this grade. Before that, the child was doing well. (Be prepared for the teacher's retort on your claim: how would your child who is doing well land in academically inferior streams designed by the educational system to help slower children catch up.)
3. Blame the school.
Allege that the school has poor discipline and that you noticed that the child's behaviour got from bad to worse after s/he came here. Insinuate that you would like to transfer the child to another school. (Be ready to recant, if you are in fact invited to get your child out from the school. To do so, you can go to the next point immediately.)
4. Remember to blame the classmates.
Rehearse the line "even if my child is naughty, s/he won't dare to do such a thing. She must be accosted by his/her classmates, who wanted to get him/her into more trouble." Reiterate this claim often, even when you are told that your child is one of the worst behaved in class - eating during lessons, distracting the class, copying work, defiant, rebellious - and that no one could have led her any more to the dark side. Also blame the other classmates for having other friends who might further corrupt your child. (Be careful not to use the same threat of transferring your child out, lest you are given a school transfer form on the spot for your signature.)
5. Don't forget the hormones.
Remind the teacher that children this age tend to get into a lot of trouble with the school and cite more examples from your sisters and brothers, whose poor upbringing of their children also saw their kids get into trouble in school, to back up your case. If this fails, try number 6 immediately.
6. Question the teacher's parenting credentials.
Ask if the teacher had children and say that the teacher wouldn't understand parenting problems when s/he said no. Repeat the homones and family argument (see point 5 above.) If you are snubbed a second time, go to 7.
7. Claim that the child is unable to accept being ticked off by someone else.
Tell the teacher to directly tell you whatever problem s/he faces with your child to you. Even if
a. you are separated with your husband/wife
b. the child does not live you
c. you hardly see the child for more than an hour a day, if at all
d. you are merely a shield your child uses when s/he gets into trouble,
insist that the teacher not take disciplinary action but inform you instead. If the teacher shows up your incompetence by reiterating points 7b, 7c, and 7d, insist that you are doing what is best for your child. Remember to villify your spouse by saying that your spouse is not interested about the child at all and hope to gain some sympathy from the teacher.
8. Ignore what you do not want to hear.
When you are told the truth about your child, look blankly at the teacher. This is especially critical when the teacher asks you if you realise your child is exactly like you in behaviour and mannerisms. Also apply this when the teacher tells you in your face that your child is one of the worst-behaved in class and is unlikely to be led any more astray by any one else.
9. Practice darting your eyes around, never looking at the teacher in the eye.
This is a way to show your disinterest in the whole situation and at the same time disrupt the teacher's tirade. (Your child would also have learnt this skill from you since this would also get him/her out of trouble into more trouble.)
Once you have mastered the above skills, you have become a sublime parent. You turn directly from the solid state to the gaseous state - at least mentally - when heat is applied. You are never there, yet always there.
Good luck!
1. Make an appointment and then turn up late.
When you are cornered for missing the appointment, insist that you have informed your child to inform the teacher of your latecoming, if the teacher manages to track the child down and ask (that is).
2. Insist that your child was all right the years before.
Claim that the child only turned bad when s/he came to this school or entered this grade. Before that, the child was doing well. (Be prepared for the teacher's retort on your claim: how would your child who is doing well land in academically inferior streams designed by the educational system to help slower children catch up.)
3. Blame the school.
Allege that the school has poor discipline and that you noticed that the child's behaviour got from bad to worse after s/he came here. Insinuate that you would like to transfer the child to another school. (Be ready to recant, if you are in fact invited to get your child out from the school. To do so, you can go to the next point immediately.)
4. Remember to blame the classmates.
Rehearse the line "even if my child is naughty, s/he won't dare to do such a thing. She must be accosted by his/her classmates, who wanted to get him/her into more trouble." Reiterate this claim often, even when you are told that your child is one of the worst behaved in class - eating during lessons, distracting the class, copying work, defiant, rebellious - and that no one could have led her any more to the dark side. Also blame the other classmates for having other friends who might further corrupt your child. (Be careful not to use the same threat of transferring your child out, lest you are given a school transfer form on the spot for your signature.)
5. Don't forget the hormones.
Remind the teacher that children this age tend to get into a lot of trouble with the school and cite more examples from your sisters and brothers, whose poor upbringing of their children also saw their kids get into trouble in school, to back up your case. If this fails, try number 6 immediately.
6. Question the teacher's parenting credentials.
Ask if the teacher had children and say that the teacher wouldn't understand parenting problems when s/he said no. Repeat the homones and family argument (see point 5 above.) If you are snubbed a second time, go to 7.
7. Claim that the child is unable to accept being ticked off by someone else.
Tell the teacher to directly tell you whatever problem s/he faces with your child to you. Even if
a. you are separated with your husband/wife
b. the child does not live you
c. you hardly see the child for more than an hour a day, if at all
d. you are merely a shield your child uses when s/he gets into trouble,
insist that the teacher not take disciplinary action but inform you instead. If the teacher shows up your incompetence by reiterating points 7b, 7c, and 7d, insist that you are doing what is best for your child. Remember to villify your spouse by saying that your spouse is not interested about the child at all and hope to gain some sympathy from the teacher.
8. Ignore what you do not want to hear.
When you are told the truth about your child, look blankly at the teacher. This is especially critical when the teacher asks you if you realise your child is exactly like you in behaviour and mannerisms. Also apply this when the teacher tells you in your face that your child is one of the worst-behaved in class and is unlikely to be led any more astray by any one else.
9. Practice darting your eyes around, never looking at the teacher in the eye.
This is a way to show your disinterest in the whole situation and at the same time disrupt the teacher's tirade. (Your child would also have learnt this skill from you since this would also get him/her out of trouble into more trouble.)
Once you have mastered the above skills, you have become a sublime parent. You turn directly from the solid state to the gaseous state - at least mentally - when heat is applied. You are never there, yet always there.
Good luck!
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Oolong Tea
Just made a large pot, I really mean pot - soup pot, of tea because I don't have a teapot. Don't laugh. I really don't have a teapot.
I love the tea I made for two reasons. First, a close friend gave it to me at a barbecue some time back. It is a treasured gift. Second, the tea tastes wonderful. Smells heavenly. And it cleanses the palate very well.
Then when the tea was steeping in the pot, I checked my email and the following email came in. A little on the emotional side but it does have its value. Indeed, it is in heat that you know the true strength of character. I'll share it nonetheless. Oolong tea - an obvious Chinese slant to it - mainly because the Chinese are one of the few races who delight in the bitter tastes of various tea because at the end of it, a faint sweetness lingers on the tongue. There is a Chinese saying for that: Sweetest comes after the most intense trials. Here's the story:
OOLONG TEA
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of Oolong tea. You will never look at a cup of Oolong the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed Oolong tea. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the Oolong out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'
'Carrots, eggs, and Oolong tea,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the Oolong. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The Oolong tea was unique, however. After they were in the boiling water , they had changed the water color and taste.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the Oolong tea? The tea actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the tea, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Share this message to those people who mean something to you; to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.
I love the tea I made for two reasons. First, a close friend gave it to me at a barbecue some time back. It is a treasured gift. Second, the tea tastes wonderful. Smells heavenly. And it cleanses the palate very well.
Then when the tea was steeping in the pot, I checked my email and the following email came in. A little on the emotional side but it does have its value. Indeed, it is in heat that you know the true strength of character. I'll share it nonetheless. Oolong tea - an obvious Chinese slant to it - mainly because the Chinese are one of the few races who delight in the bitter tastes of various tea because at the end of it, a faint sweetness lingers on the tongue. There is a Chinese saying for that: Sweetest comes after the most intense trials. Here's the story:
OOLONG TEA
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of Oolong tea. You will never look at a cup of Oolong the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed Oolong tea. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the Oolong out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'
'Carrots, eggs, and Oolong tea,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the Oolong. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The Oolong tea was unique, however. After they were in the boiling water , they had changed the water color and taste.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or am I like the Oolong tea? The tea actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the tea, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Share this message to those people who mean something to you; to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
The Many Manifestations of Moron Man
In the Sunday papers, Neil Humphrey wrote about a Moron Man who feeds the monkeys, or rather lets his daughter feed the monkeys despite being told not to do so, and when the daughter screams about his simian relative touching her hand when taking the potato chip she offered, he got into a stand off with the monkey, whacking it with a tree branch.
I assure you, my intelligent readers, that there are many disguises that the Uniquely Singapore Moron Man can take on.
For instance, Moron Man (Seatbelt Mode) does not wear nor insist his passengers wear seatbelts when he drives, so that when he gets into a crash, he will kill them and him.
Moron Man (Tailgate Mode) tailgates. And he is never alone. So when there is a rear end bumping, a whole convoy of vehicles are involved.
Moron Man (Defensive Mode) insists that everything that had gone wrong is the result of the incumbent government, including the recent economic boom.
Moron Man (Ostrich Mode) has the special ability to hide himself in the face of imminent work, then wonder why when it comes to performance bonuses, he gets very little.
Moron Man (Complain Mode) has bad things to say about everyone and everything. Even if things are going well.
Moron Man (Snail Mode) has a twin (Big Ass Mode) and they will morph into the same person. Invariably, Moron Man (SBA Mode) will walk in the middle of a road preventing people who he is holding up from over taking him with his big ass.
Moron Man (Deaf Mode) has his handphone and iPod turned on so loud, as if these were the new public entertainment systems.
Moron Man (Greedy Mode) queues up for freebies and when his turn comes, asks for more than his share, citing that he is also queueing for his mother, his father, his wife, his sister, his brother, his son, his daughter, his father's mother's son, his mother's father's son...
Moron Man (Abusive Mode) tries to use violence or semi-violence to solve all problems, especially with his children.
If Mattel were to launch Moron Man as a series of action figures, I'm sure Mattel would replicate the success of its Barbie range a million times over. This is especially so when Moron Man is real.
I'm sure if this went on, any collector after having bought all the accessories for Moron Man, we will see the Ultimate Moron Man.
I believe some of them already exist and are called Moron **men.
I assure you, my intelligent readers, that there are many disguises that the Uniquely Singapore Moron Man can take on.
For instance, Moron Man (Seatbelt Mode) does not wear nor insist his passengers wear seatbelts when he drives, so that when he gets into a crash, he will kill them and him.
Moron Man (Tailgate Mode) tailgates. And he is never alone. So when there is a rear end bumping, a whole convoy of vehicles are involved.
Moron Man (Defensive Mode) insists that everything that had gone wrong is the result of the incumbent government, including the recent economic boom.
Moron Man (Ostrich Mode) has the special ability to hide himself in the face of imminent work, then wonder why when it comes to performance bonuses, he gets very little.
Moron Man (Complain Mode) has bad things to say about everyone and everything. Even if things are going well.
Moron Man (Snail Mode) has a twin (Big Ass Mode) and they will morph into the same person. Invariably, Moron Man (SBA Mode) will walk in the middle of a road preventing people who he is holding up from over taking him with his big ass.
Moron Man (Deaf Mode) has his handphone and iPod turned on so loud, as if these were the new public entertainment systems.
Moron Man (Greedy Mode) queues up for freebies and when his turn comes, asks for more than his share, citing that he is also queueing for his mother, his father, his wife, his sister, his brother, his son, his daughter, his father's mother's son, his mother's father's son...
Moron Man (Abusive Mode) tries to use violence or semi-violence to solve all problems, especially with his children.
If Mattel were to launch Moron Man as a series of action figures, I'm sure Mattel would replicate the success of its Barbie range a million times over. This is especially so when Moron Man is real.
I'm sure if this went on, any collector after having bought all the accessories for Moron Man, we will see the Ultimate Moron Man.
I believe some of them already exist and are called Moron **men.
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