From Tonsils to Sinuses

Yes, if you are wondering.

My tonsilitis have cleared and now the sinuses are infected instead.

I nearly coughed my lungs out on Sunday and Monday.

Was telling a friend that I'd sooner get an abdominal 6-packs and groin hernia if I carried on coughing this way.

My friend, who was also coughing her lungs out, said with her luck, she'll probably get hernia before 6-packs.

I guess she spoke for both of us.

If these sayings got famous...

[Invitation open for new sayings.]

1. The nano-manager (as compared to micro-manager) split hair so finely he made a wig from one strand.

2. Why laugh alone when you can laugh at others?

3. The next mouthful you suck is my marrow. I've run out of blood.

4. That's enough time off, write something... - Mr T. F. Stern

5. When push comes to shove, people will always say you've not done enough.

6. What? Did you lose your job? You're blogging up a storm here. - Alan Erkkila

7. Freedom is when what you ought to do becomes what you want to do. - Ron Erkkila

8. If you married a masculine man don't try to change him, because you might not like gay. - Ron

9. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again, even if you're making a baby. What is better than having an enjoyable process without an unfortunate outcome?

10. Keep eyes and ears open and mouth shut. - Probligo
[Teflonman's note: I think this is already quite famous, no?]

11. Like the proverbial spoon with a pig up its butt... - Liberty Bob

12. Sustaining a relationship is like making a soup - the initial passion to bring the water to a boil and the sustaining love to extract the ingredients' essences .

You read them here first.

1975

In 1975 (the year you were born)

Gerald Ford is president of the US Evacuation of US civilians from Saigon as Communist forces complete takeover of South Vietnam FBI agents capture Patty Hearst, who is indicted and convicted of bank robbery Teamster Jimmy Hoffa disappears without a trace Marines rescue the crew of the American ship the Mayaguez near Vietnam First Lady Betty Ford says in an interview that she thinks her children have tried marijuana Natalie Imbruglia, Drew Barrymore, David Beckham, Enrique Iglesias, Angelina Jolie, and Tiger Woods are born Cincinnati Reds win the World Series Pittsburgh Steelers win Superbowl IX Philadelphia Flyers win the Stanley Cup Production begins on Star Wars Jaws and The Rocky Horror Picture Show are the top grossing films Soul Train premieres on television in the United States "The Way We Were" (performed by Barbara Streisand) wins the Grammy for best song Saturday Night Live and Wheel of Fortune premiere

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

One does not love breathing

Perhaps it is indeed true that one does not treasure what s/he has until it is about to be taken away from him/her.

Perhaps it is time again to take stock. Things move too quickly and before one can consolidate the occurrences, current considerations have been overtaken by new events. Like what a very close friend said to me last Friday, things are moving so fast that the important is often overtaken by the urgent. But is the urgent important?

Good question. Food for thought.

Life is too short to do the "rush to wait, wait to rush" routine that armed forces are known for.

Another friend also mentioned that the lament of youth is the lack of money to support the abundant energy and time. The Mercedes Benz advertisement got it right when it said we should live our lives in reverse.

But in the ideal world, this is not to be. I want to hold tight in my arms the offerings of the NOW so that I would not grief their passing. For until one is imminently losing something will s/he begin to appreciate its existence.

I don't want to live in such hindsight so often.

I always thought it would be gluttony...

Your sins are revealed. Your fate is sealed. Your sin has been measured. Happily for you, your sin profile leaves room for forgiveness.

Just below, discover your full sinful breakdown and see the areas that you must improve, to save yourself from an eternity in hell.

Greed:	Low
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	High
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Moments of a Lucky Man

Country music is very humbling. I only knew the line to "I had my moments..." and it was only today that I had managed give it a good hearing. Partly because I have swapped over from internet radio to iTunes. iTunes has a much clearer transmission and I finally had the opportunity to listen closely to the lyrics as I was not preoccupied with other tasks.

Moments

By Emerson Drive

(Annie Tate/Sam Tate/Dave Berg)

I was coming to the end of a long long walk
When a man crawled out of a cardboard box
Under the E. Street Bridge
Followed me on to it
I went out halfway across
With that homeless shadow tagging along
So I dug for some change
Wouldn't need it anyway
He took it lookin' just a bit ashamed
He said, You know, I haven't always been this way

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that plane ride coming home from the war
That summer my son was born
And memories like a coat so warm
A cold wind can't get through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

I stood there tryin' to find my nerve
Wondering if a single soul on Earth
Would care at all
Miss me when I'm gone
That old man just kept hanging around
Lookin' at me, lookin' down
I think he recognized
That look in my eyes
Standing with him there I felt ashamed
I said, You know, I haven't always been this way

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like the day I walked away from the wine
For a woman who became my wife
And a love that, when it was right,
Could always see me through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

I know somewhere 'round a trashcan fire tonight
That old man tells his story one more time
He says

I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that cool night on the E. Street Bridge
When a young man almost ended it
I was right there, wasn't scared a bit
And I helped to pull him through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
Oh, lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments

I've had my moments
I've had my moments


After I had listened to Moments, I just felt I had to share it with the readers. There is a poignancy, a kind of reminder that your time in the sun will not last forever. You have your moments and they will become moments for the people after you.

A little sentimental today. Maybe it is the "phew" feeling now that TFS is back. Maybe also it is a good reminder to remind myself that I'm a lucky man.

Lucky Man

By Montgomery Gentry

I have days where I hate my job
This little town and the whole world too
Last Sunday when the Bengals lost
Lord it put me in a bad mood

I have moments when I curse the rain
Then complain when the sun's too hot
I look around at what everyone has
And I forget about all I've got

But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
A few dollars in a coffee can
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man

Got some friends who would be here fast
I could call em any time of day
Got a brother who's got my back
Got a mama who I swear's a saint
Got a brand new rod and reel
Got a full week off this year
Dad had a close call last spring
It's a miracle he's still here

But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
a few dollars in a coffee can
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's tickin' like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man

My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And even my bad days ain't that bad
Yeah, I'm a lucky man
I'm a lucky lucky man


Sure, I bitch a lot about my life and my work. I sometimes hate the way things are going. But still, I have a good job, I live in a stable country, I have a decent income and I am still able to fully enjoy life. I am largely a lucky man.

Though I don't have a truck, a good woman's loving, a little kid or an oven, I'll still try to count my blessings.

The Personality Defect Test

Your Score: Braggart

You are 71% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant.

You are the Braggart! Like Muhammad Ali, you would surely tell everyone that you are "The Greatest" whilst bragging incessantly about your intelligence, your skills, and your abilities. You tend to be a thinker rather than a feeler, and combined with your extroversion and arrogance, this makes you someone who probably just LOVES to brag about his accomplishments. Despite this, however, you are a very gentle, tender person and truly care about others' feelings. You just happen to care more about yourself. Unlike Ali, of course, you are rather rational as opposed to emotional, and you are also much more gentle. But his arrogance and extroversion best reflect the most visible aspects of your personality. But his afro and his penchant for rhyming...not so much. There is not really much to dislike about you, aside from the fact that you can be incredibly annoying, and you probably never shut up about yourself. You may be one of these people who refer to themselves in the third person. If you have a nickname, it is probably one you gave to yourself, because you are too cool for the nickname others have given you--like "doofus" and "shitface". Your personality defect, in summary, is the fact that you are extremely overconfident, extroverted, and perhaps rather lacking in emotions. YOU ARE THE GREATEST! Or so you keep telling yourself every night as you stare at yourself in the mirror and practically make out with your reflection. Maybe one day everyone else on the planet will agree with your assessment of yourself. Nah, I'm just kidding. We think you're an arrogant dickhole. But a NICE arrogant dickhole, so no worries.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Bitch-Slap.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Haughty Intellectual, and the Capitalist Pig.

*

*

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

The thing about this test: It mentions PERSONALITY DEFECT. So, it is something that comes on when provoked and does not represent me most of the time. But for those who still think I am a dickhole, come sit beside me. I'm sure we have got lots to talk about.

The Sublime Philosophical Crap Test

Your Score: N-S-R

You scored 66% Non-Reductionism, 22% Epistemological Absolutism, and 11% Moral Objectivism!

You are an N-S-R: a metaphysical Non-Reductionist, an epistemological Skeptic, and a moral Relativist. If you are simply dying inside to figure out what all this mumbo-jumbo means, then simply continue reading.

Metaphysics: Non-Reductionism (Idealism or Realism) In metaphysics, my test measures your tendency towards Reductionism or Non-Reductionism. As a Non-Reductionist, you recognize that reality is not necessarily simple or unified, and you thus tend to produce a robust ontology instead of carelessly shaving away hypothetical entities that reflect our philosophical experiences. My test recognizes two types of Non-Reductionists: Idealists and Realists.

1. Idealists believe that reality is fundamentally unknowable. All we can ever know is the world of sense experience, thought, and other phenomena which are only distorted reflections of an ultimate (or noumenal) reality. Kant, one of the most significant philosophers in history, theorized that human beings perceive reality in such a way that they impose their own mental frameworks and categories upon reality, fully distorting it. Reality for Kant is unconceptualized and not subject to any of the categories our minds apply to it. Idealists are non-reductionists because they recognize that the distinction between phenomenal reality and ultimate reality cannot be so easily discarded or unified into a single reality. They are separate and distinct, and there is no reason to suppose the one mirrors the other. Major philosophical idealists include Kant and Fichte.

If your views are different from the above, then you may be a Realist. 2. Realists deny the validity of sloppy metaphysical reductions, because they feel that there is no reason to suspect that reality reflects principles of parsimony or simplicity. Realism is the most common-sensical of the metaphysical views. It doesn't see reality as a unity or as reducible to matter or mind, nor does it see reality as divided into a phenomenal world of experience and an unknowable noumenal world of things-in-themselves. Realist metaphysics emphasizes that reality is for the most part composed of the things we observe and think. On the question of the existence of universals, for instance, a realist will assert that while universals do not physically exist, the relations they describe in particulars are as real as the particular things themselves, giving universals a type of reality. Thus, no reduction is made. On the mind-body problem, realists tend to believe that minds and bodies both exist, and the philosophical problems involved in reducing mind to matter or matter to mind are too great to warrant such a reduction. Finally, realists deny that reality is ultimately a Unity or Absolute, though they recognize that reality can be viewed as a Unity when we consider the real relations between the parts as constituting this unity--but it doesn't mean that the world isn't also made up of particular things. Aristotle and Popper are famous realists.

*****

Epistemology: Skepticism (Idealism or Subjectivism) In regards to epistemology, my test measures your tendency towards Absolutism or Skepticism. As an epistemological Skeptic, you believe that ultimate reality cannot be known in any objective way. The two categories of Skeptics that my test recognizes are Idealists and Subjectivists.

1. Epistemological Idealists believe that knowledge of ultimate reality is impossible. All we can ever have knowledge about is the world of phenomenal human experience, but there is no reason to suspect that reality mirrors our perceptions and thoughts, according to Idealists. Idealists, then, tend to see truth not as a correspondence between propositions and reality--reality is, after all, fundamentally unknowable--but as a coherence between a whole system of propositions taken to be true. We cannot escape from language or our conceptualized world of phenomena, so we are unable to reference propositions to facts and must instead determine their truth by comparing them to other propositions we hold to be true. As a result of such an idealism, knowledge of any ultimate reality is taken to be impossible, hence the Skeptical tendency of idealism. All our pursuits of knowledge, science included, can only reflect a phenomenal reality that is of our own making. Famous idealists include Kant and Fichte.

If the above did not sound skeptical or idealistic enough to reflect your own views, then you are most likely a Subjectivist. 2. Epistemological Subjectivists, like idealists, believe that all our knowledge is ultimately of our own making because it is filtered through our subjective perceptions. Unlike an idealist, though, a subjectivist doesn't believe in any universal categories of "truth" that apply to the phenomenal world, because each individual can create his own truth. Either that, or he will hold that society or custom creates its own forms of truth. A subjectivist will tend to regard scientific inquiry as a game of sorts--science does not reveal truths about reality, but only gives scientists pseudo-solutions to pseudo-problems of the scientific community's own devising. It is a type of puzzle-solving, but the puzzle isn't of reality. The definition of truth to a subjectivist may be one that recognizes a proposition's usefulness to an individual. William James is one such subjectivist, who believes that we can "will to believe" certain propositions so long as we would find them useful. The example he gives is being found in a situation where you must leap over a chasm in order to survive. The true belief, in such a situation, is that the leap will be successful--this truth is certainly more useful to us, and in believing the truth we become more willing to commit to the jump and make it successful. So, in essence, knowledge of reality is possible for a subjectivist because they never make reference to any objective reality existing outside of our own perceptions and beliefs--we can have knowledge of reality through having knowledge of ourselves, and that is all that we should ask for. Famous subjectivists include Kuhn, Feyarabend, and James. Another famed critic of Absolutism is Hume.

*****

Ethics: Relativism (Subjectivism or Emotivism) My test measures one's tendency towards moral Objectivism or moral Relativism in regards to ethics. As a moral Relativist, you tend to see moral choices as describing a subject's reaction to a moral object or situation, and not as a property of the moral object itself. You may also feel that moral words are meaningless because they do not address any empirical fact about the world. My test recognizes two types of moral relativists--Subjectivists and Emotivists.

1. Subjectivists see individual or collective desires as defining a situation's or object's moral worth. Thus, the subject, not the object itself, determines the value. Subjectivists recognize that social rules, customs, and morality have been wide-ranging and quite varied throughout history among various cultures. As a result, Subjectivism doesn't attempt to issue hard and fast rules for judging the moral worth of things. Instead, it recognizes that what we consider "good" and "right" is not bound by any discernable rule. There is no one trait that makes an act good or right, because so many different kinds of things have been called good and right. In regards to the definition of "good" or "right", a Subjectivist will tend to define it as whatever a particular person or group of people desire. They do not define it merely as "happiness" or "pleasure", for instance, because sometimes we desire to do things that do not produce pleasure, and because we don't consider all pleasurable things good. Furthermore, Subjectivists recognize the validity of consequentialism in that sometimes we refer to consequences as good and bad--but they also recognize that our intentions behind an action, or the means to the end, can also determine an act's moral worth. Again, there is no one rule to determine these things. Hence the relativism of moral Subjectivism. The most well-known of the subjectivists is Nietzsche.

If that didn't sound like your position, then you are probably the other variety of moral Relativist--the Emotivist. Emotivists are moral Relativists only in a very slanted sense, because they actually deny that words about morality have any meaning at all. An Emotivist would probably accept Hume's argument that it is impossible to derive an "ought" from an "is"--no factual state of affairs can logically entail any sort of moral action. Furthermore, a emotivist's emphasis on scientific (and hence empirical) verification and testing quickly leads to the conclusion that concepts such as "good" and "right" don't really describe any real qualities or relations. Science is never concerned with whether a particular state of affairs is moral or right or good--and an emotivist feels much the same way. Morality is thus neither objective or subjective for the emotivist--it is without any meaning at all, a sort of vague ontological fiction that is merely a symbol for our emotional responses to certain events. Famous emotivists include Ayer and other positivists associated with the Vienna Circle.

*****

As you can see, when your philosophical position is narrowed down there are so many potential categories that an OKCupid test cannot account for them all. But, taken as very broad categories or philosophical styles, you are best characterized as an N-S-R. Your exact philosophical opposite would be an R-A-O.

About the Author

Saint_gasoline is a crazed madman who spends all of his time writing OKCupid tests and ranting about philosophy and science. If you are interested in reading more of his insane ramblings, or seeing his deliciously trite webcomic, go to SaintGasoline.com.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Metaphysics

You scored higher than 99% on Epistemology

You scored higher than 99% on Ethics

Link: The Sublime Philosophical Crap Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Another Happy Tree Friend moment

In The Straits Times today, a coroner's inquiry into schoolboy tragedy ruled that the 10-year-old's death in a taxi-bike crash an accident.

Youth or ignorance is no excuse for stupidity. And certainly, youth is no shield against death.

According to the report, the boy was cycling home after tuition on the evening of 23 Feb when a taxi hit him near an uncontrolled T-junction in a housing estate.

Two independent witnesses had come forward and gave accounts of what they saw. One of them, a driver who nearly collided with the boy's bicycle, said that the boy had dashed out from the far left and encroached into his path, forcing him to brake hard. Before the driver could alight to reprimand the boy, he had cycled to the opposite side and collided into the cab.

The driver also told police that the boy did not check for approaching vehicles before crossing the junction.

The other witness, another cab driver who was behind the ill-fated cab, said he too saw the boy cycle into the cab's path.

I hope this case sets the precedent for more LOGICAL legal rulings in the future. If idiots are killed, rule them accordingly.

This way, we can raise the average IQ of Singapore's gene pool.

Universality of Country Music

I find yet another example which shows how wonderfully country song writers have grasped the essence and illogicality of life.

I begin to understand why Singapore is devoid of country song writers - our lifestyles simply do not provide any avenues for such creative composition. And yet, despite the Americanized slants of US country music, it attracts a following here. I'm one of those underground aficiandos who need my nightly dose of country music off my internet radio to "normalise" my lifestyle.

This entry, I celebrate the blue collar workers.

Guys Like Me
by Eric Church

I wear a greasy ball cap
I like my shirt untucked
I spend saturdays working on my truck
I don't like to fight
But I ain't scared to bleed
Most don't mess with a guy like me
Guys like me drink to many beers on friday after work
Our best blue jeans have skoal rings
We wear our boots to church
So rough around the edges
It's hard to believe that girls like you
Love guys like me

Your daddy worked at the bank
Mine worked on cars
You went to college
I pulled graveyard
You must have had your pick
Of all the trust fund types
But you came back to me and only god knows why
Guys like me drink too many beers on friday after work
Our best blue jeans have skoal rings
We wear our boots to church
So rough around the edges
It's hard to believe that girls like you
Love guys like me

Now there's a lot of guys like me out there
In a lot of little towns
And tellin' all our buddies, we won't ever settle down
We say thats just the way we are and the way we'll always be
So God sends girls like you for guys like me
Thank God there's girls like you, for guys like me

Colonists 1 - New World 0

Banner gaffe makes NASA go woops!

Sunday, July 15th 2007, 4:00 AM

CAPE CANAVERAL - It shouldn't take a rocket scientist to spell the word "endeavour."

But when NASA moved the space shuttle Endeavour to its launch pad at the Kennedy Space Center on Wednesday, the banner above the shuttle had a glaring error.

It read "Go Endeavor." The shuttle's name is spelled the British way, with a "u", after the first ship commanded by 18th-century British explorer James Cook.

It took about 90 minutes for officials to notice their gaffe and replace the banner. But some sharp shooters captured the mistake on camera. Endeavour's launch is scheduled for Aug. 7.

[Teflonman's note: Looks like the rocket scientists suck at spelling bees.]

As though struck by a dull sledge hammer

I guess I speak for many when I say that we were elated to have T. Fraser Stern back in our midst after his surgery. It was supposed to be a minimally invasive laproscopic procedure.

He was out but complications developed and now he is back in the hospital. This news came from his wife, who had done all of us a great favour by telling us what happened.

Still, the news struck us like a dull sledge hammer. I am still rather shaken.

Hope Fraser gets well and can be discharged from the hospital soon.

How ... Can Improve Our Lives

NATURE

1. A lightning relay post to channel lightning to ipod users who are oblivious to the danger they are posing to the people around them. These relay posts should be activated by a button and immediately it fires a bolt of lightning.

LAW

2. Any pedestrian knocked down when indiscriminately crossing the road while using any handheld device have no avenue to seek legal redress.

TECHNOLOGY

3. Smokeless, filterless cigarettes. I've suggested this before.

I'm really getting desperate for a better life.

Sick - Day 11

Yeah, you've read it rightly. This is the 11th day of my pesky tonsilitis-ear ache-fever-headache-phelgm clogged passages flu.

In the beginning, the balls in my throat were hanging low. My left ear ached so badly that swallowing was a torture. My throat was swollen shut and I could hardly eat a single morsel of anything. Swallowing water was entire unbearable as the excruciating pain would make me double over. The fever came and went. The headache was bad.

Later, the pain subsided but other complications came along. The cough was so bad that each bout of cough, my chest felt as though it was torn apart. The fever came and went. It is as though I had dengue fever all over again. Then suddenly the ear pain returned with a bloody vengeance. I was racked in pain.

Soon after, I almost lost my voice. I went to the doctor and when I opened my mouth to speak, I got a shock myself. That didn't sound like me. People I call ask who I am. This was bad. The entire polyclinic had more than half the patients with that hacking cough I had and most of them sounded like me. I'm going to take heart - maybe it is just a particularly resistant flu bug that is going around.

For mornings on end, I've coughed out enough green globs of phelgm to make dozens of macha profiteroles. Dust icing sugar and I could start a mini-bakery. The fever came and went. Mostly I was running slightly more than lukewarm. The cough came in bouts.

The cough and allergy medicine made me sleepy so they are no-go until the night. I get great sleeps at night, especially with these central nervous system depressants.

I gulped gallons of water - I'd easily be doing 6 litres a day and be still feeling dry. I drank lots and lots of "cooling" herbal tea. I've entirely cut out oily, fried, and chilli stuff from my diet. I've been getting rest. I've stopped bitching around. I wonder what's wrong.

Everything else was normal except the pesky head flu.

In exasperation, I've started on a course of antibiotics and things are looking up. The pains have gone off. The fever seemed less frequent - maybe only in the evenings it returns.

I'm still drinking lots of water, have drunk 2.5 litres already - the daily recommended intake is 1.6 litres, in case you are not aware.

Really hoping to get well soon. Either this is really a pesky bout or this is another sign of getting old.

Fortunately, sick or otherwise, I'm still full of horns.

Grouches

I think this is the term for bitchy men. Grouches.

Men get grouchy. It's not our fault. We need to vent too.

Especially when we are in pain, things don't go our way, there is discontent, we don't feel up to it...

True, the world does not owe us. But we grouch in our own world too. If you want to intrude into my grouchy world, don't complain about my grouchiness.

You have been warned.

Sodium Sulphite and Maggots

A doctor friend told me this.

An old man was admitted into the hospital and, among other things, had his penis infested with maggots.

The nurses and doctors tried to remove the maggots, alternating between trying to pick the maggots off the organ one by one or attempting mass murder. They just wanted to clean the wound up, never mind the maggots or the penis that they had to handle.

Then this visiting doctor from a third world country came in and ordered the infested penis to be flushed with sodium sulphite solution.

As this was done, the remaining maggots were flushed out and the entire wound was washed clean.

Modesty in a hospital is overrated and the work of the medical professionals under-appreciated. Here's to all the doctors, nurses and health care providers - a huge thank you!

Live Earth

DROP DEAD, Al Gore.

If the world means anything at all to anyone at all, then how would a concert around the world be of any use to helping lessen "global destruction"? That concert is global destruction at its best.

You and your harebrained ideas and supporters have just made the world worse off.

I think people with eyes and brains and see and think for themselves what the Live Earth concert has achieved. I have lots more to say. But to give it any more space on this blog is an insult to the very institution of Blogspot, a place where people like us blog to death on computers so that we can use up the world's resources.

And with you and your cronies and wannabes trying to use up our resources much faster by having a round the world concert, this is not making me happy. At all. You are in direct competition to whatever little we have left. And we do things to right our distrubed selves. You do things to boost your ego, blow your trumpet.

Oh, before I seal the fate of this entry, when I saw the hologram of you, Al Stupido, I realised that maybe that's what in your mind all along. Nothing but flashes of light. That's why a dim idea like this came about.

On behalf on all the rest of the fellow unbelievers and disaffected population, we don't need your moralising how this world should be. We are happy to live in the hell we've jointly created. If you are not happy, migrate to the moon. Or Mercury. Or the sun. Too hot? Go in the night.

Don't pretend that your actions can turn the purgatory, which you probably had a bigger hand in creating than most of us, into a heaven. It won't happen until the devils migrate.

Eight More Things About Me

Stern tagged me with this meme. And I am supposed to tell you eight (more) things about me. Apparently, it can be facts or habits. So here goes.

1. I always padlock the door in the same direction so I would not have a hard time deciding which direction my key has to be on when I try to let myself in or out of the house.

2. Many single parts are greater than the whole. I like to have my food on their own, especially when I'm having a meal. So mashed potatoes and chicken chop served on the same plate beside each other is fine; one on top of the other is NOT. I love to eat buns with fillings separately - buns first, fillings later. I hate it when I eat at a Chinese rice stall and they lump together my choice of dishes to go with rice. I like to savour the items discretely.

3. I read too widely but without much depth. I cannot find enough interest to delve into in-depth reading unless the contents can really command my attention. That is why I have a lot of novels but very few of them finished. I normally can't get past Chapter 1.

4. I am disinclined towards sports. I used to be a shot-putter during my primary school days. I was even a gold medal winner in the school games. But I gave it up after that because the training hours were simply too long and I didn't think much of a sport tossing a metal ball. (And then going after it to pick it back, only to toss it out again.) My secondary school Science teacher in charge of sprints offered to train me for century dashes. I was portly then and so I asked her if I should barrel down the lane. She said I had potential because I had strong legs. Incidentally, my secondary school Chinese teacher said the same thing when he tried to recruit me for shot putt. I turned both down. I so am not going to devote hours on end training, at the expense of my school work. These days, I only indulge in spectator sports.

5. Opinions in general don't mean much to me anymore, not unless they can change outcomes. Everyone has an opinion about something or someone. But nothing would change that thing or person until either someone makes a move to induce change or some larger event comes along causes change. Otherwise, opinions are like self-generated unwelcome judgements. Let me know if the opinions are related to me. Otherwise, keep them to yourselves, thank you. There is no place for timewasting on wagermongering. Oh, by the way, don't bother ask me for my opinion if you (i) don't believe me, (ii) won't listen to my suggestions or act as you are told, (iii) think you are very clever, (iv) don't want a solution. Tell me you just need me to listen to you. And I can do that very well.

6. I am partial to nature where water exists. Believe me when I tell you that the South China Sea water is different from the Malacca Straits water. And that the Pacific, Atlantic and Indian Oceans are different. Sheer rocks and forests do nothing for me unless there is water. That's why Norway, with its fjords, is such an allure to me.

7. I prefer the American way of cutting to the chase rather than the British way of euphemistic hypocrisy. Tell me what you don't like and we can move on from here. Don't tell me "oh, it's all right" when deep inside you, you are hating every moment of it. I'm learning too. How do the Yankees do it? Simple: "I don't like where this is going. Can we change a topic, please?"

8. I am not easily characterised. Nothing in these 8 things will stay constant long enough to typify me. Sooner or later, things will change and I will need to write even more things about me.

I will not attempt pass this meme to 8 people. I shall let those game enough to divulge a little of themselves take up the challenge and let me know they have done it. I am not being a spoilsport here but the wonders of the blog is such that we are always sharing a bit of us each time we write.

Thank you, nonetheless, to T. F. Stern, who has tagged me. This is a man I have grown to appreciate and respect for the honest to goodness values that he holds true to his heart. I read he's going to be "taking some time off for repairs". I hope he comes back good as new. I believe it would be my honour and great fortune if I get to meet him this life.

What is Sports?

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In Pursuit of Simpler Pleasures

I no longer dream of pursuing simple pleasures because I have come to realise that living in Singapore, there is not such thing as a simple pleasure.

There is no way to sit at a cafe and watch the world go by any more. The handphone will go off. You will be assaulted by people wanting your seats. If you are in an al fresco area, you will eventually wilt or die of lung cancer inhaling second hand smoke.

There is no way to visit a library and have a simple afternoon among the printed pieces of processed tree bark. Kids running around screaming and their parents not caring, lack of bibliography satisfying my esoteric interests, stinking - yes, stinking - atmosphere... I wonder the last but the library stinks of stale sweat, smelly feet and other malodours.

Sit by the beach? The heat is unbearable and I hate it when the sand sticks on our bodies, especially the humidity makes us all warm and sticky.

Any place you think of, I could probably tell you the problems with that place.

So what now? In pursuing the simpler pleasures, I learn to appreciate the slowness of things. Not everything has to be fast. Sometimes, when something comes along slowly, learn to maximise the time eked out from waiting.

Watch more TV. Read a book. Cook something. Experiment with new flavours, new cooking techniques, new cooking ingredients.

Pretend to be busy doing nothing. Or just do nothing.

Catch the occasional breeze and enjoy nature's offering.

Chat on the computer with a internet friend.

Be thankful for whatever time that you can find away from work.

It makes me happier.

231 years and counting...

America celebrates 231 years of independence today.

To my readers from America, Happy Independence Day!

Report Card

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite."

"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

"Because you got an F in sex."