Vote?
Don't waste my time!
I was a first time voter at the 1997 elections, when Mr Teo Chong Tee, MP Changi, elected in 1991 was supposed to stand against some opposition. Then we were told that Changi-Simei, the electoral group I was in, was absorbed into Aljunied.
Then, Mr George Yeo led a team against frankly-I-cannot-remember-which-team. Mr Teo retired and Mr David Lim took over him.
New or not, Mr Lim was a great MP. It will take a while to get under his quirky surface, with his characteristic twitch of his nose, but he's a good guy for Changi-Simei through and through. In fact, Simei got its MRT through Mr Teo's persistent canvassing and it got its CC and other better amenities like the POSB and OCBC banks as tenants within Eastpoint under Mr Lim's badgering.
Simei was indeed really lucky to have those great guys to be MP during its formative years.
1997, I voted for the first time. I was 22. Attended a rally. Rallies really help one understand the meaning of "It must be light travels faster than sound that you look smart until you open your mouth." That's why lawsuits fly.
I fully understood what powers I wield in my hand.
I knew that no matter how credible an opposition, a small little artificial state like us can do without them. If I were to think of Singapore as a duck, and the parliament as feathers that keeps the duck warm, keeps the duck afloat on the water and aerodynamic in the air, then opposition are the little feathers that run against the grain of the other feathers that protect the duck.
The ruling party may not be the best around but it keeps the duck warm, buoyant, and flighty.
While one or two errant feathers may be good to keep the duck in shipshape through periodic grooming, if there are too many feathers that are out of sync, the duck may not be able to groom itself back to shape. It might freeze or drown or lose its flight abilities.
I am pro-policy voter - a pragmatic, rational voter who is neither pro-government nor pro-opposition for the sake of doing so. I look at the policy and say it's good or it's bad and I make my adjustments.
The people are different parts of the duck. Not all of us can become duck foie gras. Be realistic.
In 2001, I had a walkover when Changi-Simei was absorbed into the East Coast GRC and Mr Lim went over to Bt Panjang GRC (he had a walkover too!). Mr Lee Yock Suan became MP.
Last year, I moved to my new place. I'm under Tanjong Pagar GRC. Under MM Lee, I have another walkover.
Did I miss my opportunity to vote?
Honestly, no. I'm glad that I don't have to pretend to be thinking who would be better for us - a "benevolent autocracy" or a "lopsided democracy".
There is no malice in the terms used. But a mature member of the electorate knows what is best for them, even if it is bitter medicine.
I have made my choice since 1997. Will I change? Yes, when circumstances change sufficiently.
But otherwise, a known evil is easier to deal than a literally crazed one.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
The Rain
The Rain
I hope it rains as heavily as possible, as incessantly as possible, with winds as gusty as possible and lightning as densely as possible for the entire period from 28 Apr 06 to 5 May 06.
This way, the stupid coffeeshop is no refuge to the beer drinkers, who will get terribly wet no matter how they hide.
I need to ensure that people don't disturb my beauty sleep at night.
I hope it rains as heavily as possible, as incessantly as possible, with winds as gusty as possible and lightning as densely as possible for the entire period from 28 Apr 06 to 5 May 06.
This way, the stupid coffeeshop is no refuge to the beer drinkers, who will get terribly wet no matter how they hide.
I need to ensure that people don't disturb my beauty sleep at night.
First Mover Advantage
First Mover Advantage
12 midnight, the beginning of the 28 day of April 2006.
The very time where official election campaigning can start, after Nomination day on 27 Apr 06.
A bunch of overly free men drinking past midnight.
Their aim: To brawl about their political differences when election campaigning officially begins, while claiming to be under the influence of alcohol.
The outcome: They woke up half the neighbourhood.
My question: Where are the policemen when we need them?
12 midnight, the beginning of the 28 day of April 2006.
The very time where official election campaigning can start, after Nomination day on 27 Apr 06.
A bunch of overly free men drinking past midnight.
Their aim: To brawl about their political differences when election campaigning officially begins, while claiming to be under the influence of alcohol.
The outcome: They woke up half the neighbourhood.
My question: Where are the policemen when we need them?
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Sex Education
Sex Education
Time for the nude, oops, I mean new, syllabus for Sex Education to be rolled out, I guess.
This time, they should take the guess work out of what's behind anyone's bra or pants or panties.
During sex education classes, pupils should be shown what a micro deal looks like and what a donkey-sized one looks like. I mean, hey, what's the big deal?
They should show them sumo-wrestler packages and tell all the bigger sized kids that if you continue to grow, the equipment will continue to "shrink". Not really, but it does look smaller after being enveloped in layers of fat. As a fat guy waiting for someone to accept my "live" fat donation (thank you, Kenny), I should know.
No guesses also that the skinner people normally show more. In fact, a medical study says something like losing ten kilogrammes gain you about an inch (2.5 cm). Skinny people should not starve themselves for any extra gains because they need to stay healthy by maintaining weight ranges within the BMI.
Well, if all else fails, you can go and do fat transfer, where they extract fats from the bum to beef up the, well, you know, beef. Dr Woffles Wu, are there any takers?
Otherwise, you can ask to get two tendons severed so that it will hang lower down and look longer (because it has lesser support). But you'll never get to sing, oops, I mean, see "mari kita" when you are high. It'll be just a horizontal vector.
Women have it easier, I guess.
They have breast implants and breast liposuctions. I mean, I have yet to see a girl kill herself for overly small breasts. Yes? That's why. And hey, Pamela has even downsized to something that won't throw her over the HDB flat parapet. So, you see, women are one lucky breed.
Did I mention hymen reattachment operations?
Ok, ok, I concede that guys who want to be women also got avenues. In Thailand, in... well, where else? I only remember Singapore pioneered the world's first sex change operations. Other than that, I only think Thailand. Maybe Shade can throw some light on this. Hm, what irony. Shade and light?
Oh, I digressed again.
The new sex-ducation (more sassy name, more attractive!) should also have size appreciation courses. Who says big is good? Those who have got theirs caught in the zipper will tell you big may not be bliss. And anyway, it's not size but performance that counts.
George of the jungle may be big and strong but hey, biceps can't satisfy the way a dong can. Why did I say that? Anyway, only the top 3 cm of the dong is needed to do the satisfying.
Hey, the sensation for the guys is the little band of cells at the root of the corona. The rest of it is no different from sponge. I mean, blood engorged fibrous muscles. So no matter what length or width or volume, as long as you know how to do it, you'll still be satisfied.
Why do you think man's best friend is his hand?
If it is meant to be big as hell, it'll have bones to support it. I watched it on Animal Planet. See, cable does make you smarter.
Another fact: Humans have the smallest balls around because males don't need to fight with other males to access the females and have sperm competition. Unlike a lioness who needs to be raped in excess of 80 times to be impregnated, how many men in Singapore would be fortunate enough to get an Annabel Chong to satisfy their needs?
And if you, suppose you, really managed Annabel, don't tell me you're going to let her sleep around with others? I mean, 200 over men in a day is a little excessive. Finding and aligning and insertion alone would already take time.
Then, the new syllabus should have a section on positions. There is no such thing as a position where a woman can be safe from pregnancy. No, not even if she rides. The tadpoles are more hardy than you think. And they even survive in and come out with Cowper's fluid.
So, what will the nude syllabus for Sex Education cover?
Time for the nude, oops, I mean new, syllabus for Sex Education to be rolled out, I guess.
This time, they should take the guess work out of what's behind anyone's bra or pants or panties.
During sex education classes, pupils should be shown what a micro deal looks like and what a donkey-sized one looks like. I mean, hey, what's the big deal?
They should show them sumo-wrestler packages and tell all the bigger sized kids that if you continue to grow, the equipment will continue to "shrink". Not really, but it does look smaller after being enveloped in layers of fat. As a fat guy waiting for someone to accept my "live" fat donation (thank you, Kenny), I should know.
No guesses also that the skinner people normally show more. In fact, a medical study says something like losing ten kilogrammes gain you about an inch (2.5 cm). Skinny people should not starve themselves for any extra gains because they need to stay healthy by maintaining weight ranges within the BMI.
Well, if all else fails, you can go and do fat transfer, where they extract fats from the bum to beef up the, well, you know, beef. Dr Woffles Wu, are there any takers?
Otherwise, you can ask to get two tendons severed so that it will hang lower down and look longer (because it has lesser support). But you'll never get to sing, oops, I mean, see "mari kita" when you are high. It'll be just a horizontal vector.
Women have it easier, I guess.
They have breast implants and breast liposuctions. I mean, I have yet to see a girl kill herself for overly small breasts. Yes? That's why. And hey, Pamela has even downsized to something that won't throw her over the HDB flat parapet. So, you see, women are one lucky breed.
Did I mention hymen reattachment operations?
Ok, ok, I concede that guys who want to be women also got avenues. In Thailand, in... well, where else? I only remember Singapore pioneered the world's first sex change operations. Other than that, I only think Thailand. Maybe Shade can throw some light on this. Hm, what irony. Shade and light?
Oh, I digressed again.
The new sex-ducation (more sassy name, more attractive!) should also have size appreciation courses. Who says big is good? Those who have got theirs caught in the zipper will tell you big may not be bliss. And anyway, it's not size but performance that counts.
George of the jungle may be big and strong but hey, biceps can't satisfy the way a dong can. Why did I say that? Anyway, only the top 3 cm of the dong is needed to do the satisfying.
Hey, the sensation for the guys is the little band of cells at the root of the corona. The rest of it is no different from sponge. I mean, blood engorged fibrous muscles. So no matter what length or width or volume, as long as you know how to do it, you'll still be satisfied.
Why do you think man's best friend is his hand?
If it is meant to be big as hell, it'll have bones to support it. I watched it on Animal Planet. See, cable does make you smarter.
Another fact: Humans have the smallest balls around because males don't need to fight with other males to access the females and have sperm competition. Unlike a lioness who needs to be raped in excess of 80 times to be impregnated, how many men in Singapore would be fortunate enough to get an Annabel Chong to satisfy their needs?
And if you, suppose you, really managed Annabel, don't tell me you're going to let her sleep around with others? I mean, 200 over men in a day is a little excessive. Finding and aligning and insertion alone would already take time.
Then, the new syllabus should have a section on positions. There is no such thing as a position where a woman can be safe from pregnancy. No, not even if she rides. The tadpoles are more hardy than you think. And they even survive in and come out with Cowper's fluid.
So, what will the nude syllabus for Sex Education cover?
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Idiotic Taxi Driver
Idiotic Taxi Driver
Told the taxi driver I wanted to travel by PIE instead of TPE, which he suggested.
He never listened.
The final bill came up to $17, instead of my normal $14.50.
Ticked him off before I got off the cab. Slammed the door for good measure. But he spoilt my entire day, nonetheless.
$2.50 could get me a good meal at my place. This is unacceptable.
Told the taxi driver I wanted to travel by PIE instead of TPE, which he suggested.
He never listened.
The final bill came up to $17, instead of my normal $14.50.
Ticked him off before I got off the cab. Slammed the door for good measure. But he spoilt my entire day, nonetheless.
$2.50 could get me a good meal at my place. This is unacceptable.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Demanding Personal Assistant
Demanding Personal Assistant
Someone's personal assistant called me at work and demanded that I reserve car park lots for her bosses at the local university. I told her I can't do that and she asked why not. As though I have full and complete jurisdiction over the university.
Then she asked for the address and demanded that I also search out the map and email it to her. This, I thought, was extremely rude.
She even commanded that I indicate where the car parks are in the campus map so that her bosses know where to park. Like I am the estate manager of the university.
I know her bosses and some of them are my rank equals. I wonder if she speak with them like this.
Someone's personal assistant called me at work and demanded that I reserve car park lots for her bosses at the local university. I told her I can't do that and she asked why not. As though I have full and complete jurisdiction over the university.
Then she asked for the address and demanded that I also search out the map and email it to her. This, I thought, was extremely rude.
She even commanded that I indicate where the car parks are in the campus map so that her bosses know where to park. Like I am the estate manager of the university.
I know her bosses and some of them are my rank equals. I wonder if she speak with them like this.
Calculator Kaur
Calculator Kaur
Was at the doctor's on Friday. Not feeling too good.
A lady sat beside me. She was getting a medical check-up with her father.
Apart from making a lot of noise and complaining that the doctor is slow (he's thorough, not slow, and he tells you in English what's wrong with you).
Then, in her impatience, she walked to the nearby POSB and updated her bank account book.
As she sat down beside me again, she whipped out the calculator and started doing the sums in the book.
Was at the doctor's on Friday. Not feeling too good.
A lady sat beside me. She was getting a medical check-up with her father.
Apart from making a lot of noise and complaining that the doctor is slow (he's thorough, not slow, and he tells you in English what's wrong with you).
Then, in her impatience, she walked to the nearby POSB and updated her bank account book.
As she sat down beside me again, she whipped out the calculator and started doing the sums in the book.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
I don't believe it...
I don't believe it...
What I saw on the first page of the Home section of today's Straits Times was sad, funny, and mostly unbelievable.
A JC student from a top 5 JC kills himself, convinced his private parts were too small.
Small wonder that people say when some guys undergo puberty, their brains descend to their crotch.
Must have been quite a headache (no pun intended) for him, trying to squeeze his developed brains into the weenie.
You know what rocks me even more? "The boy had confided in his mother in October last year that he was worried his private parts were too small. (Hey! She should have told him it is the performance and not the size that counts!)
"She took him to a neighbourhood clinic, where the doctor told him his penis was of a normal size for an Asian man, and prescribed him multivitamins.
"Despite strong emotional support from his girlfriend and his mother, he remained convinced he had a problem."
And then we found out that some teacher "said teaching students how to be comfortable with their physical and sexual development is not in the syllabus." So how? Segregate the classes and have sexuality education in the buff?
And then what?
Well, the poor boy did have a problem. But there are so many sites out there telling you what the normal measurements are. Of course, if you had a micro 1 centimetre bang pole, you can grieve. Otherwise, be content with what you have. If you can't win in size, then win in percentage extension and growth during erection!
What does he expect? Porn star sized equipment?
What I saw on the first page of the Home section of today's Straits Times was sad, funny, and mostly unbelievable.
A JC student from a top 5 JC kills himself, convinced his private parts were too small.
Small wonder that people say when some guys undergo puberty, their brains descend to their crotch.
Must have been quite a headache (no pun intended) for him, trying to squeeze his developed brains into the weenie.
You know what rocks me even more? "The boy had confided in his mother in October last year that he was worried his private parts were too small. (Hey! She should have told him it is the performance and not the size that counts!)
"She took him to a neighbourhood clinic, where the doctor told him his penis was of a normal size for an Asian man, and prescribed him multivitamins.
"Despite strong emotional support from his girlfriend and his mother, he remained convinced he had a problem."
And then we found out that some teacher "said teaching students how to be comfortable with their physical and sexual development is not in the syllabus." So how? Segregate the classes and have sexuality education in the buff?
And then what?
Well, the poor boy did have a problem. But there are so many sites out there telling you what the normal measurements are. Of course, if you had a micro 1 centimetre bang pole, you can grieve. Otherwise, be content with what you have. If you can't win in size, then win in percentage extension and growth during erection!
What does he expect? Porn star sized equipment?
Writing a CV
Writing a CV
The many years of not having a CV is finally coming back to haunt me.
I needed to write a CV to give to my boss.
Goodness gracious! I have something, but whether or not it makes a decent CV, I really don't know.
Well, there's a first time for everything.
And let's hear the man come back with his suggestions for improvements.
The many years of not having a CV is finally coming back to haunt me.
I needed to write a CV to give to my boss.
Goodness gracious! I have something, but whether or not it makes a decent CV, I really don't know.
Well, there's a first time for everything.
And let's hear the man come back with his suggestions for improvements.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Friday, April 14, 2006
The Fight
The Fight
There was a fight at the coffee shop opposite my flat last night.
DARN! DARN! DARN!
I did hear someone smash a glass bottle at the kitchen area but I didn't know there was a fight.
I would have taken a few glass bottles and threw them over at the coffee shop people as well.
Those idiots have been blasting music, talking at the top of their voices over beer, and making a din for as long as I am living here. Anything would have made me feel better.
Then when I left the house for dinner, I realised that the glass bottle was actually smashed against my back door, there was a police barricade set up and about 5 police personnel were milling the area talking over their intercom and taking pictures.
I saw a table with a small puddle of blood and there were blood trails (small circular stains) leading from the coffeeshop to other places.
No fatalities. I'm so sad. Nothing exciting. Just a stupid little skirmish.
I wish they would take each other out like mafia gangs at odd. Perhaps my peace would be restored.
I dream a lot. Of course.
There was a fight at the coffee shop opposite my flat last night.
DARN! DARN! DARN!
I did hear someone smash a glass bottle at the kitchen area but I didn't know there was a fight.
I would have taken a few glass bottles and threw them over at the coffee shop people as well.
Those idiots have been blasting music, talking at the top of their voices over beer, and making a din for as long as I am living here. Anything would have made me feel better.
Then when I left the house for dinner, I realised that the glass bottle was actually smashed against my back door, there was a police barricade set up and about 5 police personnel were milling the area talking over their intercom and taking pictures.
I saw a table with a small puddle of blood and there were blood trails (small circular stains) leading from the coffeeshop to other places.
No fatalities. I'm so sad. Nothing exciting. Just a stupid little skirmish.
I wish they would take each other out like mafia gangs at odd. Perhaps my peace would be restored.
I dream a lot. Of course.
GRADING
GRADING
My favourite part of any trip.
SOFITEL PALM RESORT JOHOR BAHRU
Jalan Persiaran Golf, Off Jalan Jumbo, Senai
81250 Johore
All out of 5*
Room
Bed **** (Nice and firm)
Pillows **** (Good support)
Toilet *** (The flush refill mechanism is so noisy you'd think you're in a JUMBO jet toilet that's perpetually flusing during refilling)
Minibar **
Free drink items *** (2 Boh tea, 2 Nescafe, 2 Coffee Mate, 2 brown sugar, 2 white sugar sachets and 2 bottles of mineral water)
Brightness ***
TV programming **
Security **** (There's an in-room safe, Guards who patrol the carpark)
Amenities ** (Not enough to use)
Sofa **** (Surprisingly comfortable)
Room Service offering **** (Looks of it only)
Writing materials * (No pen even!)
Cleanliness ** (*** if not for dust bowl)
View * (What's the big deal looking at a grass lawn?)
Swimming pool
Cleanliness ** (Water was so dirty they had to throw in lots of chlorine)
Amenities ** (Free towels helped to salvage the score)
Jacuzzi in toilet ** (If you can take the stink of heavily used, extended use water)
Sobasei
Value for money *
Service 1/2
Ambience -** (How can sitting beside a bunch of bragging loud Taiwanese comparing their heights when they were 12 years old help?)
Sashimi * (Actually ***1/2)
Udon (No, you didn't see wrong)
Suki Yaki 1/2 (Actually *1/2)
Cleanliness -***** (yes, negative 5 stars! Imagine that the AFBM said that his inspection results was that the kitchen was UNACCEPTABLE. WHATEVER THAT MEANS!)
Breakfast at Ishwara
Value for money * (part of room price - we paid $70 for the room but the hotel only got $45. The rest went to the agent. But hey, that's still good money because this is off-peak rates!)
Service (Again, of course!)
Ambience * (Quiet enough to talk softly)
Food **
Cleanliness **
Overall
Value for money **
Comfort *
Security ***
Will I go back again?
SHOULD I GO BACK AGAIN?
My favourite part of any trip.
SOFITEL PALM RESORT JOHOR BAHRU
Jalan Persiaran Golf, Off Jalan Jumbo, Senai
81250 Johore
All out of 5*
Room
Bed **** (Nice and firm)
Pillows **** (Good support)
Toilet *** (The flush refill mechanism is so noisy you'd think you're in a JUMBO jet toilet that's perpetually flusing during refilling)
Minibar **
Free drink items *** (2 Boh tea, 2 Nescafe, 2 Coffee Mate, 2 brown sugar, 2 white sugar sachets and 2 bottles of mineral water)
Brightness ***
TV programming **
Security **** (There's an in-room safe, Guards who patrol the carpark)
Amenities ** (Not enough to use)
Sofa **** (Surprisingly comfortable)
Room Service offering **** (Looks of it only)
Writing materials * (No pen even!)
Cleanliness ** (*** if not for dust bowl)
View * (What's the big deal looking at a grass lawn?)
Swimming pool
Cleanliness ** (Water was so dirty they had to throw in lots of chlorine)
Amenities ** (Free towels helped to salvage the score)
Jacuzzi in toilet ** (If you can take the stink of heavily used, extended use water)
Sobasei
Value for money *
Service 1/2
Ambience -** (How can sitting beside a bunch of bragging loud Taiwanese comparing their heights when they were 12 years old help?)
Sashimi * (Actually ***1/2)
Udon (No, you didn't see wrong)
Suki Yaki 1/2 (Actually *1/2)
Cleanliness -***** (yes, negative 5 stars! Imagine that the AFBM said that his inspection results was that the kitchen was UNACCEPTABLE. WHATEVER THAT MEANS!)
Breakfast at Ishwara
Value for money * (part of room price - we paid $70 for the room but the hotel only got $45. The rest went to the agent. But hey, that's still good money because this is off-peak rates!)
Service (Again, of course!)
Ambience * (Quiet enough to talk softly)
Food **
Cleanliness **
Overall
Value for money **
Comfort *
Security ***
Will I go back again?
SHOULD I GO BACK AGAIN?
Meeting The Assistant Food & Beverage Manager
Meeting The Assistant Food & Beverage Manager
The night before, the AFBM asked to meet us the next morning.
This morning when we checked out, no one at the check out counter knew that he wanted to meet us.
My friend asked. I would not have bothered. I'd written to the CEO of the pathetic Novotel/Accor Group of Hotels and given him my story.
If we are important enough guests, the AFBM would have logged in that when we are checking out, we should be asked to wait for him while they try and locate him.
In fact, the AFBM should have tried to contact us and asked for a meeting, instead of us asking to meet him.
To cut the long story short, I'll give you some of the wonderful exchanges with him:
AFBM: I've checked the (Sobasei) kitchen last night. It was unacceptable. I have asked the executive chef to do a complete check and give me a report. I'll get back to you.
Us: (Big deal. If it was unacceptable, then ain't it time for some active action to be taken? A report? For what? Can eat is it?) *No response*.
* * *
AFBM: To me, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That (the dour faced waitress' poor reaction) was unacceptable. Oh, I don't mean you are unacceptabl..., I mean your complaint was unaccep... I mean, the waitress was unacceptable. I would be very angry and disappointed...
US: (So? Suck your toe, chicken potato, mosquito love your toe...) *NR*
ME: We need not feel this way because it is not as though we are making things difficult. Your hotel is not even full.
AFBM: Yah, we only have about... well, the place can seat 150 and it'll never be full and I just came by 8 am.
ME: Yup, we saw you. And honestly, it's not as though I have not seen better hotels. Even Swiss Garden in Kuantan, being old and dilapidated, has better service and is more professional.
AFBM: *Bang balls*
* * *
AFBM: We will look into the report and report to you.
ME: By the way, Accor and Novotel has never failed to disappoint me - Amsterdam, Bangkok, and others. And now you.
AFBM: I'm sure this is not the first time here.
HIM: Yes, first time.
ME: Yes, he took like what, 3 years?
HIM: No, 2 years.
ME: Ok, 2 years to convince me to come here. And for what? Come here and suffer fools? By the way, your room is very dirty you know?
AFBM: Oh, the rooms also? The rooms are released when housekeeping and rooms are assured that they are good to go. I don't know about how they work...
ME: *Try harder, dude!*
* * *
AFBM: I'm sure you would give us a chance and would you come back here again?
ME: (Oh, no!) Only if you invite me.
AFBM: The next time you visit, you can let me know before hand and I'll take good care of you. I mean, I'll also take good care of the rest of the guests...
ME: *Touche!*
* * *
AFBM: Looks like your entire stay here was a very bad experience.
ME: Of course. It's even worse when it's only one night. (Fortunately, it's only one night!)
AFBM: I understand. This is really not the way things should be.
ME: (You mean it could be WORSE?) *NR*
* * *
AFBM: Are you leaving soon?
ME: (Why else do I check out before meeting you?) Yes.
HIM: We're meeting someone. (Weak lie)
AFBM: You won't eat lunch here?
ME: (What? You serving lizards and mosquitoes this time?) No. We're going back to meet someone.
AFBM: What about sandwiches? I have some sandwiches.
ME: (Since when did you have them? Penicillin?) No thanks.
AFBM: (Shakes head dejectedly)
* * *
AFBM: Mr Tan, thank you. Mr ***, thank you. I'll send you the report.
ME: (You readers are in luck!) Ok.
The night before, the AFBM asked to meet us the next morning.
This morning when we checked out, no one at the check out counter knew that he wanted to meet us.
My friend asked. I would not have bothered. I'd written to the CEO of the pathetic Novotel/Accor Group of Hotels and given him my story.
If we are important enough guests, the AFBM would have logged in that when we are checking out, we should be asked to wait for him while they try and locate him.
In fact, the AFBM should have tried to contact us and asked for a meeting, instead of us asking to meet him.
To cut the long story short, I'll give you some of the wonderful exchanges with him:
AFBM: I've checked the (Sobasei) kitchen last night. It was unacceptable. I have asked the executive chef to do a complete check and give me a report. I'll get back to you.
Us: (Big deal. If it was unacceptable, then ain't it time for some active action to be taken? A report? For what? Can eat is it?) *No response*.
* * *
AFBM: To me, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That (the dour faced waitress' poor reaction) was unacceptable. Oh, I don't mean you are unacceptabl..., I mean your complaint was unaccep... I mean, the waitress was unacceptable. I would be very angry and disappointed...
US: (So? Suck your toe, chicken potato, mosquito love your toe...) *NR*
ME: We need not feel this way because it is not as though we are making things difficult. Your hotel is not even full.
AFBM: Yah, we only have about... well, the place can seat 150 and it'll never be full and I just came by 8 am.
ME: Yup, we saw you. And honestly, it's not as though I have not seen better hotels. Even Swiss Garden in Kuantan, being old and dilapidated, has better service and is more professional.
AFBM: *Bang balls*
* * *
AFBM: We will look into the report and report to you.
ME: By the way, Accor and Novotel has never failed to disappoint me - Amsterdam, Bangkok, and others. And now you.
AFBM: I'm sure this is not the first time here.
HIM: Yes, first time.
ME: Yes, he took like what, 3 years?
HIM: No, 2 years.
ME: Ok, 2 years to convince me to come here. And for what? Come here and suffer fools? By the way, your room is very dirty you know?
AFBM: Oh, the rooms also? The rooms are released when housekeeping and rooms are assured that they are good to go. I don't know about how they work...
ME: *Try harder, dude!*
* * *
AFBM: I'm sure you would give us a chance and would you come back here again?
ME: (Oh, no!) Only if you invite me.
AFBM: The next time you visit, you can let me know before hand and I'll take good care of you. I mean, I'll also take good care of the rest of the guests...
ME: *Touche!*
* * *
AFBM: Looks like your entire stay here was a very bad experience.
ME: Of course. It's even worse when it's only one night. (Fortunately, it's only one night!)
AFBM: I understand. This is really not the way things should be.
ME: (You mean it could be WORSE?) *NR*
* * *
AFBM: Are you leaving soon?
ME: (Why else do I check out before meeting you?) Yes.
HIM: We're meeting someone. (Weak lie)
AFBM: You won't eat lunch here?
ME: (What? You serving lizards and mosquitoes this time?) No. We're going back to meet someone.
AFBM: What about sandwiches? I have some sandwiches.
ME: (Since when did you have them? Penicillin?) No thanks.
AFBM: (Shakes head dejectedly)
* * *
AFBM: Mr Tan, thank you. Mr ***, thank you. I'll send you the report.
ME: (You readers are in luck!) Ok.
Breakfast Blues
Breakfast Blues
So we realised, too, that the clock in the phone was in the wrong time zone.
My dork of a room mate dragged me up telling me it was already 8 plus.
Duh! And SATCHEL actually wore his watch to bed! Can't believe it.
So there was I cleaned and dressed and dragging my tired ass to the lift only to discover that it was ONLY 8 am.
What the heck.
We walked to the Ishwara for breakfast.
The waitress doing the registration was already dour faced and when I asked for an inside table, she told me curtly that there are no small tables in the air con area.
Yeah, right. Is it my fault?
So you have tables outside?
Yes.
Is outside smoking?
Yes.
I don't want smoking. (Remember, someone already has his mucus factory baptised and commissioned for production?)
She gave a sour face and distorted her mouth to the right and showed me a face.
BLOODY F***ING BITCH.
So I went in and sat down at a table for 6. And I told her that if there are other small groups of 2 who want to sit inside, we are ok to share table with another couple of diners.
It was just out of hypocrisy that I said that because I freaking knew that the hotel is not even 50% full last night.
There is no way a 150-seater establishment serving breakfast from 6.30 am to 10.30 am (across 4 hours) in a hotel with 300 rooms cannot accommodate diners at 6-seater tables.
Furthermore, when I went swimming the evening before, there was only my friend and I. TWO PEOPLE IN THE FREAKING POOL.
Just do your distributions and you know. (In other words, don't question my assumptions.)
So we went in and discovered that half the inside was empty.
And throughout the entire dinner, the air con part NEVER EVER FILLED UP.
The reaction and pretense was not called for.
Breakfast was decent, not excellent but the dour service left a really bad taste in my mouth.
So we realised, too, that the clock in the phone was in the wrong time zone.
My dork of a room mate dragged me up telling me it was already 8 plus.
Duh! And SATCHEL actually wore his watch to bed! Can't believe it.
So there was I cleaned and dressed and dragging my tired ass to the lift only to discover that it was ONLY 8 am.
What the heck.
We walked to the Ishwara for breakfast.
The waitress doing the registration was already dour faced and when I asked for an inside table, she told me curtly that there are no small tables in the air con area.
Yeah, right. Is it my fault?
So you have tables outside?
Yes.
Is outside smoking?
Yes.
I don't want smoking. (Remember, someone already has his mucus factory baptised and commissioned for production?)
She gave a sour face and distorted her mouth to the right and showed me a face.
BLOODY F***ING BITCH.
So I went in and sat down at a table for 6. And I told her that if there are other small groups of 2 who want to sit inside, we are ok to share table with another couple of diners.
It was just out of hypocrisy that I said that because I freaking knew that the hotel is not even 50% full last night.
There is no way a 150-seater establishment serving breakfast from 6.30 am to 10.30 am (across 4 hours) in a hotel with 300 rooms cannot accommodate diners at 6-seater tables.
Furthermore, when I went swimming the evening before, there was only my friend and I. TWO PEOPLE IN THE FREAKING POOL.
Just do your distributions and you know. (In other words, don't question my assumptions.)
So we went in and discovered that half the inside was empty.
And throughout the entire dinner, the air con part NEVER EVER FILLED UP.
The reaction and pretense was not called for.
Breakfast was decent, not excellent but the dour service left a really bad taste in my mouth.
The Dust Bowl
The Dust Bowl
The next morning, we both woke up fed-up. The Mandara Spa bitch screwed up our moods, the swim didn't go well, the towel return was tougher than tough, the cockroach goodbye sequence was less than appetising, the TV was darned boring, and we had to forego room service. What could go worse?
Ok, pretend I didn't ask. Too late.
I flipped the blanket and guess what?
There was SNOW. Oops, I meant DUST.
The bloody the blanket was a dust bowl.
Cleanliness has really gone to the dogs.
And no prizes for who (not me!) ended up with a sensitive nose, excessive sneezing, and a hyper-active "muar-chee" (mucus) factory.
The next morning, we both woke up fed-up. The Mandara Spa bitch screwed up our moods, the swim didn't go well, the towel return was tougher than tough, the cockroach goodbye sequence was less than appetising, the TV was darned boring, and we had to forego room service. What could go worse?
Ok, pretend I didn't ask. Too late.
I flipped the blanket and guess what?
There was SNOW. Oops, I meant DUST.
The bloody the blanket was a dust bowl.
Cleanliness has really gone to the dogs.
And no prizes for who (not me!) ended up with a sensitive nose, excessive sneezing, and a hyper-active "muar-chee" (mucus) factory.
There Goes Room Service
There Goes Room Service
Part of the reason why we had such a flirty (light) dinner was we had intended to partake in the room service.
The seafood pizza with prawns and squid looks great, the sandwiches look promising and the nasi lemak's description was alluring, to say the least.
But what happens if Room Service food comes with other unwanted additions? After all, the cleanliness of the hotel is really suspect.
No room service then!
Part of the reason why we had such a flirty (light) dinner was we had intended to partake in the room service.
The seafood pizza with prawns and squid looks great, the sandwiches look promising and the nasi lemak's description was alluring, to say the least.
But what happens if Room Service food comes with other unwanted additions? After all, the cleanliness of the hotel is really suspect.
No room service then!
Meeting the Duty Manager
Meeting the Duty Manager
So Sobasei could not give us a satisfactory closure to the cockroach incident.
We approached the night duty manager and told her the story.
She said that she would get her manager to speak with us the next morning.
The next thing, the phone in the room rang.
It was the assistant food and beverage manager calling. He asked to meet us tomorrow morning.
So Sobasei could not give us a satisfactory closure to the cockroach incident.
We approached the night duty manager and told her the story.
She said that she would get her manager to speak with us the next morning.
The next thing, the phone in the room rang.
It was the assistant food and beverage manager calling. He asked to meet us tomorrow morning.
Accidents Galore
Accidents Galore - An Intermission
Shucks! The tea pudding bubbled out of the pot because I was so bloody caught up complaining that I forgot.
Then while cleaning up the mess, I completed 1.5 rounds of laundry.
Ok, back to bitching.
Shucks! The tea pudding bubbled out of the pot because I was so bloody caught up complaining that I forgot.
Then while cleaning up the mess, I completed 1.5 rounds of laundry.
Ok, back to bitching.
Sobasei Japanese Restaurant
The Sobasei Japanese Restaurant Farewell
We ate dinner at the Sobasei Japanese Restaurant. There were advertisements slapped all over the hotel and the hotel's website.
Of course, we'd give Sobasei a try.
Upon entering, they led us to a cut-off corner of the restaurant and sat us beside a bunch of bragging Taiwanese who were making so much noise in the restaurant. The restaurant was empty elsewhere.
I caught a rancid stench as I sat down. There seems to be a lot of oil on the walls and curtains.
We ordered our food in three different waves.
The sashimi moriawase (mixed raw fish slices) went well. We asked for another salmon sashimi and one plate of ika (squid) sushi.
The raw food went well enough.
The udon that we ordered was overcooked. It was bloated and the bland and over-watery dip didn't help.
We also ordered a suki yaki (chicken, as we both don't take beef). The waiters asked if we wanted the suki yaki to be cooked in the kitchen or at the table. Since they wanted to show-off, we'll entertain them. So we asked for the food to be cooked at our table.
So after all the food have arrived, the waiter came and made the suki yaki.
The cooking was not good. The food was not the best but the price was exorbitant.
And then, as we neared the end of dinner, a cockroach crawled out from the suki yaki gas stove.
That was it.
How could this be acceptable when you remember that what you had eaten were mainly raw stuff? What happens if...?
I dread to think.
We tried to attract the attention of the waiters but to no avail, and so I went out and asked for the manager. He was on leave. So I asked who was in-charge.
Some young 24 year old waiter said he is.
Great, so what?
He merely apologised and left the half-dead cockroach lie on my dessert plate waving good bye.
We ate dinner at the Sobasei Japanese Restaurant. There were advertisements slapped all over the hotel and the hotel's website.
Of course, we'd give Sobasei a try.
Upon entering, they led us to a cut-off corner of the restaurant and sat us beside a bunch of bragging Taiwanese who were making so much noise in the restaurant. The restaurant was empty elsewhere.
I caught a rancid stench as I sat down. There seems to be a lot of oil on the walls and curtains.
We ordered our food in three different waves.
The sashimi moriawase (mixed raw fish slices) went well. We asked for another salmon sashimi and one plate of ika (squid) sushi.
The raw food went well enough.
The udon that we ordered was overcooked. It was bloated and the bland and over-watery dip didn't help.
We also ordered a suki yaki (chicken, as we both don't take beef). The waiters asked if we wanted the suki yaki to be cooked in the kitchen or at the table. Since they wanted to show-off, we'll entertain them. So we asked for the food to be cooked at our table.
So after all the food have arrived, the waiter came and made the suki yaki.
The cooking was not good. The food was not the best but the price was exorbitant.
And then, as we neared the end of dinner, a cockroach crawled out from the suki yaki gas stove.
That was it.
How could this be acceptable when you remember that what you had eaten were mainly raw stuff? What happens if...?
I dread to think.
We tried to attract the attention of the waiters but to no avail, and so I went out and asked for the manager. He was on leave. So I asked who was in-charge.
Some young 24 year old waiter said he is.
Great, so what?
He merely apologised and left the half-dead cockroach lie on my dessert plate waving good bye.
"You Must Return The Towels, Ah"
"You Must Return The Towels, Ah"
So Mandara Spa lost my business.
After lazing around for about an hour and channel surfing limited watchable channels (some are so overcome by static that you would go nuts trying to filter out the noise), I decided to go for a swim.
I rummaged the hotel information and did not see any information telling me about the facilities provided for guests who want to go swimming.
So, I pulled on my trunks and a polo shirt and went swimming.
At the pool, I saw the towel loan counter. WTF. If they had said so earlier, I'd brought the whole works and I could avoid going back to my room to bathe but instead I could do my ablutions in the toilets.
Heck, so my friend took his trunks and I asked him to get the towels.
He returned with two towels and we soaked in the water for about three quarters of an hour.
When I had enough of dipping, I wanted to get back to my room to rinse out the excessive chlorine on my body and hair. I wrapped my towel around my waist and then this towel counter attendant came over.
"Ah, this towel must return. Lend only. You must return the towels, ah".
Sure, what's the big deal? We also found out that she is supposed to man the counter till 9 pm.
So I went back to my room after dipping in the jacuzzi and getting a quick rinse.
I washed myself in my room, took the towels and returned to the poolside to return the towel.
She was no where to be found. I searched the entire poolside shops, lounges, and areas and I was told by a shop attendant that I could just dump the towel there and sign out.
So, I could easily sign in and keep the towel. I just feign ignorance and insist that I have returned the towels?
Anyhow, towels or not, service sucks.
So Mandara Spa lost my business.
After lazing around for about an hour and channel surfing limited watchable channels (some are so overcome by static that you would go nuts trying to filter out the noise), I decided to go for a swim.
I rummaged the hotel information and did not see any information telling me about the facilities provided for guests who want to go swimming.
So, I pulled on my trunks and a polo shirt and went swimming.
At the pool, I saw the towel loan counter. WTF. If they had said so earlier, I'd brought the whole works and I could avoid going back to my room to bathe but instead I could do my ablutions in the toilets.
Heck, so my friend took his trunks and I asked him to get the towels.
He returned with two towels and we soaked in the water for about three quarters of an hour.
When I had enough of dipping, I wanted to get back to my room to rinse out the excessive chlorine on my body and hair. I wrapped my towel around my waist and then this towel counter attendant came over.
"Ah, this towel must return. Lend only. You must return the towels, ah".
Sure, what's the big deal? We also found out that she is supposed to man the counter till 9 pm.
So I went back to my room after dipping in the jacuzzi and getting a quick rinse.
I washed myself in my room, took the towels and returned to the poolside to return the towel.
She was no where to be found. I searched the entire poolside shops, lounges, and areas and I was told by a shop attendant that I could just dump the towel there and sign out.
So, I could easily sign in and keep the towel. I just feign ignorance and insist that I have returned the towels?
Anyhow, towels or not, service sucks.
It's In Your Room
It's In Your Room
After check in, we saw the Mandara Spa as we walked to the lifts.
We walked in and tried to find out the prices for the treatment packages.
The receptionist said, "Are you guests here?"
Yes, we said.
"The price list is in the room. You go to the room and see."
That's it. They lost my business.
Never mind not getting pampered. Anyway, RM 75 for some stupid manicure ain't for the shallow pockets.
Still, the service at the first shop sucked.
After check in, we saw the Mandara Spa as we walked to the lifts.
We walked in and tried to find out the prices for the treatment packages.
The receptionist said, "Are you guests here?"
Yes, we said.
"The price list is in the room. You go to the room and see."
That's it. They lost my business.
Never mind not getting pampered. Anyway, RM 75 for some stupid manicure ain't for the shallow pockets.
Still, the service at the first shop sucked.
Getting There - Sofitel Palm Resort Senai
Getting There - Sofitel Palm Resort Senai
Went over there last afternoon, on my pre-Good Friday half-day leave.
Here is a run-down of getting there.
1. Weather
It was raining when we drove in. Whether or not we liked it, we had to get in and out of the car. Or place hands out of the car - immigration booths, toll payment, lunch, changing money, shopping. You name it.
2. Route familiarity
For once, I chose not to drive because I'm a better navigator than a slow driver. So I let my friend, a more patient driver to get us there. Neither of us were familiar with the way there but slowly and surely, we made our way there without a glitch.
3. Parking
There were ample parking lots and the place is big.
4. Check-in
Since we did the internet pre-paid booking, all we had to do was to present the print-out voucher and we were given some room with a view of the golf course - pathetic by any standards, but this is minor compared to what is coming up.
Went over there last afternoon, on my pre-Good Friday half-day leave.
Here is a run-down of getting there.
1. Weather
It was raining when we drove in. Whether or not we liked it, we had to get in and out of the car. Or place hands out of the car - immigration booths, toll payment, lunch, changing money, shopping. You name it.
2. Route familiarity
For once, I chose not to drive because I'm a better navigator than a slow driver. So I let my friend, a more patient driver to get us there. Neither of us were familiar with the way there but slowly and surely, we made our way there without a glitch.
3. Parking
There were ample parking lots and the place is big.
4. Check-in
Since we did the internet pre-paid booking, all we had to do was to present the print-out voucher and we were given some room with a view of the golf course - pathetic by any standards, but this is minor compared to what is coming up.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
My Rants
My Rants
I've decided to set up the bitching blog anyway.
I'll be moving some posts over and maintain that blog perhaps for a short story collection some time in the future.
I'll be mauling Rose soon. I'll complete the story, perhaps in instalments or running continuations. Have not decided. Let's see how the thing develops.
I'm a highly social animal - not social social (aka social butterfly) but more like an analytical mirror. This is quite bad actually because it makes me judgemental and I measure people against my moral standards and inner rules. But hey, which human being isn't like that? It's just that some people are more vocal than others.
That's why I prefer to either factually report the occurrences or give it a slightly fictional twist to bring it away from all legal liabilities.
I've decided to set up the bitching blog anyway.
I'll be moving some posts over and maintain that blog perhaps for a short story collection some time in the future.
I'll be mauling Rose soon. I'll complete the story, perhaps in instalments or running continuations. Have not decided. Let's see how the thing develops.
I'm a highly social animal - not social social (aka social butterfly) but more like an analytical mirror. This is quite bad actually because it makes me judgemental and I measure people against my moral standards and inner rules. But hey, which human being isn't like that? It's just that some people are more vocal than others.
That's why I prefer to either factually report the occurrences or give it a slightly fictional twist to bring it away from all legal liabilities.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Rose
Also known as "The Vietnamese Woman with the Love Bite"
Rose (name fictitious) sat on the very crowded MRT train. She was wearing a low white top exposing her shoulders, which she kept covered with a thin jacket made of the same white cotton as her top.
She left the jacket unbuttoned. And at the spot above her white top where the left flap of the jacket opens is a crimson red love bite. The unmistakable pair of lips that left the marks of the passion it shared with Rose's breasts. The brand of a possibly illicit affair which needed to be kept clandestine, but yet consumed in the light of day.
Rose clenched her fists, attempting to hide the gold ring that adorned her left ring finger. Isn't it easier to just remove the offending sight of the ring?
Perhaps not. Or she might forget her status that she is married and is merely here to hook unsuspecting Singapore men for hot passionate sex in exchange for cold hard cash.
Her phone rang and she spoke in quick tones. She never managed to mask the irritation and mild frustration. The call ended pretty quickly and a glaze covered her eyes. She was in her own little private space again.
Could she be thinking of the passionate love she had a while ago or is she already imagining the next bout of making out that might just take place at some condominium at Lakeside? Just then, the passenger beside her vacated his seat and Rose immediately took it and started speaking in her native tongue to her other friend. So, they had been separated by the passenger in the middle.
Unmistakably, Rose's irritation could be discerned even though the language was unfamiliar. She was complaining about something. Yet, her right thumb and index finger never left the ring on her left hand. She twiddled it as though it was something that she very much wanted to remove.
Or perhaps not. It was the ring from her hubby in Singapore. It fit better than the one given to her by her Vietnamese husband, to whom she was betrothed when she was just a little girl.
Good life in Singapore has made her knobbly fingers fleshier and the ill-fitting ring soon gave way to a better fitting one, just like her marriages. Legally, she had not divorced her Vietnamese husband.
It was tough to divorce him now that she is here and had been unable to contact him for a long time. She thought of him once a while, but she never felt bad ditching him for another guy.
This Singapore guy gave her her pink identity card. This effectively made her a citizen. Even though the marriage was merely for show. After all, he had never been interested in women. They did not even consume their marriage. They had a flat but each had led separate lives. Sure, they attended the occasional event as a couple but they had never shared bed or been intimate with each other.
He never knew, much less minded, her wanton ways, sleeping around with guys for the additional cash. While he gave her money each month for some expenses, she had been able to lead a pretty comfortable life from the additional pickings from those dirty old men "who can't stay hard enough to put on a condom".
She knew it, but hey, it gives her a good life.
The train pulled into Lakeside. She got off with her friend and soon they parted ways as she made her way to the condominium beside the train station.
#15 - YYY. She entered the lift and went up to the fifteenth storey.
She walked towards the door and pressed the door bell.
The door opened and she was roughly pulled in.
@ @ @
The next evening, the headlines of the Chinese local tabloids screamed, "Viet Woman Slashed to Death by Jealous Husband".
Rose (name fictitious) sat on the very crowded MRT train. She was wearing a low white top exposing her shoulders, which she kept covered with a thin jacket made of the same white cotton as her top.
She left the jacket unbuttoned. And at the spot above her white top where the left flap of the jacket opens is a crimson red love bite. The unmistakable pair of lips that left the marks of the passion it shared with Rose's breasts. The brand of a possibly illicit affair which needed to be kept clandestine, but yet consumed in the light of day.
Rose clenched her fists, attempting to hide the gold ring that adorned her left ring finger. Isn't it easier to just remove the offending sight of the ring?
Perhaps not. Or she might forget her status that she is married and is merely here to hook unsuspecting Singapore men for hot passionate sex in exchange for cold hard cash.
Her phone rang and she spoke in quick tones. She never managed to mask the irritation and mild frustration. The call ended pretty quickly and a glaze covered her eyes. She was in her own little private space again.
Could she be thinking of the passionate love she had a while ago or is she already imagining the next bout of making out that might just take place at some condominium at Lakeside? Just then, the passenger beside her vacated his seat and Rose immediately took it and started speaking in her native tongue to her other friend. So, they had been separated by the passenger in the middle.
Unmistakably, Rose's irritation could be discerned even though the language was unfamiliar. She was complaining about something. Yet, her right thumb and index finger never left the ring on her left hand. She twiddled it as though it was something that she very much wanted to remove.
Or perhaps not. It was the ring from her hubby in Singapore. It fit better than the one given to her by her Vietnamese husband, to whom she was betrothed when she was just a little girl.
Good life in Singapore has made her knobbly fingers fleshier and the ill-fitting ring soon gave way to a better fitting one, just like her marriages. Legally, she had not divorced her Vietnamese husband.
It was tough to divorce him now that she is here and had been unable to contact him for a long time. She thought of him once a while, but she never felt bad ditching him for another guy.
This Singapore guy gave her her pink identity card. This effectively made her a citizen. Even though the marriage was merely for show. After all, he had never been interested in women. They did not even consume their marriage. They had a flat but each had led separate lives. Sure, they attended the occasional event as a couple but they had never shared bed or been intimate with each other.
He never knew, much less minded, her wanton ways, sleeping around with guys for the additional cash. While he gave her money each month for some expenses, she had been able to lead a pretty comfortable life from the additional pickings from those dirty old men "who can't stay hard enough to put on a condom".
She knew it, but hey, it gives her a good life.
The train pulled into Lakeside. She got off with her friend and soon they parted ways as she made her way to the condominium beside the train station.
#15 - YYY. She entered the lift and went up to the fifteenth storey.
She walked towards the door and pressed the door bell.
The door opened and she was roughly pulled in.
@ @ @
The next evening, the headlines of the Chinese local tabloids screamed, "Viet Woman Slashed to Death by Jealous Husband".
New Blog?
New Blog?
I realised I've been writing a lot about women who have riled me or made me feel embarrassed for their existence.
Wondering if I should start a new blog where I bitch only about these women: A Misogynist's Tales.
I wonder.
I realised I've been writing a lot about women who have riled me or made me feel embarrassed for their existence.
Wondering if I should start a new blog where I bitch only about these women: A Misogynist's Tales.
I wonder.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Swatow Tea
Swatow Tea
I was given a bottle of Chinese Swatow tea by my friend, mentor, ex-colleague and her husband at the class BBQ.
The packing looks ordinary but the packers have managed to keep the tea leaves' smell in the bottle.
I've drunk much tea and I'm looking forward to opening this bottle once I am done with those I had bought in 2002. I guess a couple of rounds of tea jelly making will greatly help with old tea disposal. Let me see how I could go about it.
I was given a bottle of Chinese Swatow tea by my friend, mentor, ex-colleague and her husband at the class BBQ.
The packing looks ordinary but the packers have managed to keep the tea leaves' smell in the bottle.
I've drunk much tea and I'm looking forward to opening this bottle once I am done with those I had bought in 2002. I guess a couple of rounds of tea jelly making will greatly help with old tea disposal. Let me see how I could go about it.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Transcending Cultures and Races
Transcending Cultures and Races
I knew I've done great as a teacher to introduce concepts of racial tolerance, cultural appreciation and the importance of being racially blind but culturally sensitive.
In fact, when I saw P***** playing mahjong, I realised I've found the universal panacea to Singapore's woes.
Small wonder we are going to build casinos.
Didn't people realise how GAMBLING is surely going to make the citizens of Singapore one united people, regardless of race, language or religion?
As long as you queue, you get a just, equal, and democratic chance at placing your bets. Of course, as long as you play within your means, you will have the peace you need and the loansharks may not be hounding you or hanging pig heads on your door to make you repay your loans.
You may have a chance to taste happiness, prosperity, and progress for your family's financial situation.
I knew I've done great as a teacher to introduce concepts of racial tolerance, cultural appreciation and the importance of being racially blind but culturally sensitive.
In fact, when I saw P***** playing mahjong, I realised I've found the universal panacea to Singapore's woes.
Small wonder we are going to build casinos.
Didn't people realise how GAMBLING is surely going to make the citizens of Singapore one united people, regardless of race, language or religion?
As long as you queue, you get a just, equal, and democratic chance at placing your bets. Of course, as long as you play within your means, you will have the peace you need and the loansharks may not be hounding you or hanging pig heads on your door to make you repay your loans.
You may have a chance to taste happiness, prosperity, and progress for your family's financial situation.
Death by Chicken Wings
Death by Chicken Wings
Bird flu is spreading. Many parts of Europe are facing the scourge. Africa has it. And many parts of Asia too.
In order to prevent the chickens from dying unnecessarily, we chose to end their lives humanely. We probably went through 200 chicken wings on Sat.
I remember packing about 25 curried drumlets home and counting those which were already consumed, the curry probably had about 50 to 70 wings. Plus the 150 we catered for the fire, we probably de-winged more than 100 chickens.
I remember eating about 10 roasted wings but not a single curry one as I was refluxing like crazy after a coffee overdose that morning. But I must say that the well-done wings tasted good. Wonder who's the good roaster (no pun, no pun!) - icloud or justin.
Bird flu is spreading. Many parts of Europe are facing the scourge. Africa has it. And many parts of Asia too.
In order to prevent the chickens from dying unnecessarily, we chose to end their lives humanely. We probably went through 200 chicken wings on Sat.
I remember packing about 25 curried drumlets home and counting those which were already consumed, the curry probably had about 50 to 70 wings. Plus the 150 we catered for the fire, we probably de-winged more than 100 chickens.
I remember eating about 10 roasted wings but not a single curry one as I was refluxing like crazy after a coffee overdose that morning. But I must say that the well-done wings tasted good. Wonder who's the good roaster (no pun, no pun!) - icloud or justin.
Food Before BBQ
Food Before BBQ
Historical binges that crippled the food soldiers before the all important BBQ event:
2006 (4/6 2004 class outing) - Fried stuff: chicken nuggets, curry puffs, fish fingers, sausages
2005 (Mdm Liu's farewell) - Canadian 2-for-1 Pizza
2003 (3/6 2003 class BBQ) - Nasi lemak
Premonitive occurrences - untimely rain before BBQ
Binge onset - late firestarting or important guest arrives late
Binge trigger - arrival of cooked, ready-to-eat food which is warm and yummy
Binge outcome - disinterest in actual BBQ food
Common co-occurrences - excessive water intake (salty food?) (all), charred food (all), less than excellently prepared BBQ food (2003, 2006), small BBQ pit (2005)
Pre-emptive measures - early cooking of BBQ food (rain notwithstanding), proper food seasoning (cost notwithstanding)
Preventive measures - dictator/dictatress early presence to enforce action, passing of law for fried/ready food as back-up after BBQ food is fully consumed
Conclusion - Ignore everything up there. I'm just there to have fun!
Historical binges that crippled the food soldiers before the all important BBQ event:
2006 (4/6 2004 class outing) - Fried stuff: chicken nuggets, curry puffs, fish fingers, sausages
2005 (Mdm Liu's farewell) - Canadian 2-for-1 Pizza
2003 (3/6 2003 class BBQ) - Nasi lemak
Premonitive occurrences - untimely rain before BBQ
Binge onset - late firestarting or important guest arrives late
Binge trigger - arrival of cooked, ready-to-eat food which is warm and yummy
Binge outcome - disinterest in actual BBQ food
Common co-occurrences - excessive water intake (salty food?) (all), charred food (all), less than excellently prepared BBQ food (2003, 2006), small BBQ pit (2005)
Pre-emptive measures - early cooking of BBQ food (rain notwithstanding), proper food seasoning (cost notwithstanding)
Preventive measures - dictator/dictatress early presence to enforce action, passing of law for fried/ready food as back-up after BBQ food is fully consumed
Conclusion - Ignore everything up there. I'm just there to have fun!
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Stupid-ordinare
Stupid-ordinare
Called my cable service provider S****** and check if I'm on automatic blood loss (GIRO) mode for bill payments.
So I went through the entire procedure of making selections following recorded instructions and dutifully keyed-in my account and identification card number.
And then I was put on hold as "all our customer service officers are busy. (As) Your call is important to us and we will attend to you shortly. (Advertisements.)" Repeat earlier message, advertisements...
So this guy picked up the phone finally and asked, "Mr Eugene, can I have your account number and identification card number?"
Me: I thought I keyed-in everything already? Why are you asking for it again?
Him: This is just a security feature. We need to verify...
Me (cutting him short): What is there to verify? I'm just checking if I'm on GIRO. I'm not even asking to know anything else.
Him: This is a procedure...
Me (interrupting again): What a stupid procedure when you ask me for information which I have entered based on your instructions? Your management is stupid or sleeping is it? Everything do twice?
Him: Mm..
Me: So you "Mm". That means they are stupid and sleeping.
Him: Er...
Me: Ok, since that's the case, no choice. My account number is....
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry but I was definitely laughing when I put down the phone.
Annihileration is sweet.
Called my cable service provider S****** and check if I'm on automatic blood loss (GIRO) mode for bill payments.
So I went through the entire procedure of making selections following recorded instructions and dutifully keyed-in my account and identification card number.
And then I was put on hold as "all our customer service officers are busy. (As) Your call is important to us and we will attend to you shortly. (Advertisements.)" Repeat earlier message, advertisements...
So this guy picked up the phone finally and asked, "Mr Eugene, can I have your account number and identification card number?"
Me: I thought I keyed-in everything already? Why are you asking for it again?
Him: This is just a security feature. We need to verify...
Me (cutting him short): What is there to verify? I'm just checking if I'm on GIRO. I'm not even asking to know anything else.
Him: This is a procedure...
Me (interrupting again): What a stupid procedure when you ask me for information which I have entered based on your instructions? Your management is stupid or sleeping is it? Everything do twice?
Him: Mm..
Me: So you "Mm". That means they are stupid and sleeping.
Him: Er...
Me: Ok, since that's the case, no choice. My account number is....
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry but I was definitely laughing when I put down the phone.
Annihileration is sweet.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Instant Replay in Tennis
Instant Replay in Tennis
Quoting Miss Martina Navratilova, "Where was this thing 20 years ago?"
She said it all.
Quoting Miss Martina Navratilova, "Where was this thing 20 years ago?"
She said it all.
Now that I have it...
Now that I have it...
Thaksin Shinawatra has done it.
First he refused to resign. Why should he?
Then he called a snap polls. Smart move.
Subsequently, he won the elections and could be PM again. Of course!
Then now he decides he will quit as PM.
My idol - how else to effectively take the winds out of the opposition first by teasing them, inducing them to play hardball, and now that they have nothing left, decide to give up everything all together?
Great strategician - now that I have it, I don't want it already.
Reminds me of a friend who's mantra goes: If I can't win, I don't want to play already.
Thaksin Shinawatra has done it.
First he refused to resign. Why should he?
Then he called a snap polls. Smart move.
Subsequently, he won the elections and could be PM again. Of course!
Then now he decides he will quit as PM.
My idol - how else to effectively take the winds out of the opposition first by teasing them, inducing them to play hardball, and now that they have nothing left, decide to give up everything all together?
Great strategician - now that I have it, I don't want it already.
Reminds me of a friend who's mantra goes: If I can't win, I don't want to play already.
Killer Shoulders
Killer Shoulders
The darned shoulders are killing me. It's not that I've nothing to write but the shoulders are so painful (repetitive injury caused by excessive typing) that they are holding me back.
I've been off from work on medical grounds for two days already. But I simply can't go to work yet.
Between the pain and the painkillers, I'll be suffering both ways - either I'm in agony or agonisingly drowsy.
I need a good long break soon.
The darned shoulders are killing me. It's not that I've nothing to write but the shoulders are so painful (repetitive injury caused by excessive typing) that they are holding me back.
I've been off from work on medical grounds for two days already. But I simply can't go to work yet.
Between the pain and the painkillers, I'll be suffering both ways - either I'm in agony or agonisingly drowsy.
I need a good long break soon.
The lighter side of Bird Flu
The lighter side of Bird Flu
From Well, I think they're funny
In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, President George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands.
From Letterman...
Top Ten Dumb Guy Tips For Avoiding The Bird Flu
10. "Before eating chicken, soak it in Lysol"
9. "Don't lick unfamiliar pigeons"
8. "Frighten birds by constantly meowing"
7. "Stay away from basketball great Larry Bird"
6. "Anti-bacterial smoothies"
5. "Move to a place where there are no birds, like the moon"
4. "Avoid birds that look like they're up to something"
3. "Go back to the old Y2K bunker, start drinking"
2. "Fill birdfeeder with Sucrets"
1. "If you have a chicken, check for swelling in the McNuggets"
From Well, I think they're funny
In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, President George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands.
From Letterman...
Top Ten Dumb Guy Tips For Avoiding The Bird Flu
10. "Before eating chicken, soak it in Lysol"
9. "Don't lick unfamiliar pigeons"
8. "Frighten birds by constantly meowing"
7. "Stay away from basketball great Larry Bird"
6. "Anti-bacterial smoothies"
5. "Move to a place where there are no birds, like the moon"
4. "Avoid birds that look like they're up to something"
3. "Go back to the old Y2K bunker, start drinking"
2. "Fill birdfeeder with Sucrets"
1. "If you have a chicken, check for swelling in the McNuggets"
Saturday, April 01, 2006
April Fools' Day
April Fools' Day
You know you are too old when you can't even be bothered to think of a prank.
You know you are too old when you can't even be bothered to think of a prank.
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