Molest

Molest

Read Chua Mui Hoong's column in the Sunday Times today. She narrated her brush with a molester, who grabbed her breasts when she moved over to collect some monies when working as a cashier. The molester eventually went scot free.

I'm very furious after reading it. It's not right to molest someone, anyone. It's a crime and should be punished. Although it's a less culpable crime as compared to rape, a molester causes his or her victim to feel threatened, even in a safe environment. This is not right and should never be condoned.

If we punish people fondling or pleasuring himself or herself in public, which DOES NOT cause any harm to a third party at all, then we should seriously consider punishing molesters severely.

We don't have to jail them but perhaps we can start by caning them? Or administering instant electric shocks in hospitals after they are caught and found guilty. Something quick and effective must be done.

James Bond's Revenge

Pretty Woman's Husband's Revenge

Act 1 Scene 1

Little girl sees dove flies across the sky. She remembers that her brother is going away.

Act 1 Scene 2

Little girl runs like mad to release some birds. On the way, she knocked over a hawker who's oranges fell all over.

Hawker: Aiyoyoh! Vai you knock my oranges all over, deh?

Little girl glances back and pretends not to understand.

Act 1 Scene 3

Little girl knocks over bamboos. Luckily this time, the bamboo hawker was not around or the credit card company will have to pay an additional few million dollars in advertising time.

Act 2 Scene 1

Little girl knocks into Pretty Woman's Husband, who's travelling with his guide. Little girl pretends that she's innocent and stopped by the bird hawker.

Pretty Woman's Husband (in his heart): -Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!- Blind ah!?

Of course, being so famous, must keep that smile on the face and act cool.

Girl: Five birds. My brother is going away today and I want to bring him good luck.

Little girl passes the money to Bird Hawker. Bird Hawker looks at the money he received.

Bird Hawker: You only have enough for one bird. (Ok, don't think dirty here!)

Girl (shaking her head): Ok.

Little girl grabs a cage with a dove inside and ran.

Act 3

Pretty Woman's Husband looks at Little girl running off and a brilliant idea comes to his mind. Taking out his wonderful credit card, he passes it to the bird hawker and winks. The bird hawker nods knowingly.

Act 4

Pretty Woman's Husband and bird hawkers brought cages and cages of birds and arrive by the sea side. They release the birds.

Pretty Woman's Husband (in his heart): -Beep!- You knock into me and still so yah yah papaya. -Beep! Beep! Beep!- What the -Beep! Beep!- Watch out ah! I bet all my birds on your bird that your wish will not come true.

[A friend provided an alternative, which is a pun on some credit cards which are meant only for the fairer sex.

Pretty Woman's Husband: The bitch do(es)n't get it.]

As though there is telepathy, Little girl looks accusingly at Pretty Woman's Husband, although she tries to look innocent at the same time.

Pretty Woman's Husband immediately shrugs his sholder and the hawkers shake their heads.

THE END

Mid Autumn Festival

Mid Autumn Festival

Sunday was MAF. Wonder who ate mooncakes, who ate pomeloes, who carried laterns and strolled in the gardens.

MAF was meant to be a day where the family comes together. Quite similar to a second reunion for the family, the first being the eve of Chinese New Year.

A modern population means that more and more of such traditions and customs are getting forgotten. Need to think about how to preserve our culture and traditions.

Tea Jelly

Tea Jelly

Bought the jelly powder on my way home. Impulse buy. Was actually buying butter for making bread as I've run out of butter.

Came home with ever intention of making jelly using my special brew of Chinese tea.

And mum had to just throw away the tea leaves. She probably felt they were too long on the shelves and decided to get rid of them between the last time I saw them and the last time I thought I saw them (and therefore assumed they were still around).

Scoured the house. Found a packet of leaves. Tasted like Japanese green tea. Would've been great but what if they turned out to be seaweed instead?

Heck. Just use the remainder English tea leaves from god knows where. Took 40 grams of tea, infused them in hot water, add the konjac jelly powder, bring to a boil, VOILA. Tea jelly.

English Garden Tea Flavour. Slight tart smelling, sweet, soft wobbly jelly. Feels like my tummy.

Chilling them now in the fridge. I'm going to make 2 people very happy tomorrow when they get my jelly.

Blind Bitch

Blind Bitch

Can't stand properly on the MRT train.

Won't hold the railings or the handles to stay stable.

Kept stepping on my foot and pretending that nothing happened.

Hope she knocks down a car when she crosses the road.

New board game

New board game

Well, someone had to do it. Someone thought of a new board game to "represent the blogging community in Singapore".

Whatever that means. I'm only interested to steer clear, stay clean and have a good time.

What does your birthday mean to you?

What does your birthday mean to you?

Was approached while waiting for someone at the Redhill MRT station today. Two guys from a particular institute's Film and Media department were filming and they asked me to do a short TV interview as to what my birthday means to me.

I was in the midst of a record breaking attempt for Nature Park in my Nokia 3120. So I politely turned them down.

So they turned to this girl from China and she requested that they interviewed her in Chinese. To the question, she replied, "My birthday is actually my mother's most painful day in her life. She had to endure a lot of pain and suffering to bring me into this world." To the question "How do you celebrate your birthday?", she answered, "We don't have over the top celebrations. It's a simple celebration, to life."

Frankly, I was impressed. I would have said the same. But the words coming out of a well-mannered Chinese girl will be so different from this burly guy.

Then a bunch of screaming girls came by. They verbally sniped at each other because no one wants to be interviewed, yet they wanted to sabotage a friend into being interviewed. So the youngest in the group was questioned.

"Oh, my birthday is the day I come to the world. It's significant because I was born."

"Celebrations? Oh, when we were younger, we had barbeques, parties, lots of food. Now we're older, there's a bit less. I go out with my friends."

Such a stark contrast.

Have we lost our ability to appreciate our presence being the outcome of someone's suffering? Have we even forgotten that we have not conquered the world for ourselves; the world merely tolerates our existence!

This is so sad.

As an educator, I think there's more to be done.

A little joke

A little joke

(Those who are familiar with Chinese Taoist culture and temple mediums might like this.)

Did you hear the Cirque Du Soleil laid off a bunch of temple mediums? They could not Quidam.

Consumed

Consumed

I

Fiery streaks flare
Still emotions stir
Equamnity deserts the sensible head

II

Heartbeat races
Pressure raises
Senseless paces
Explosive spaces

III

The angry line of red fills
the emotionless void
Dense fumes of volatile liquid permeate
the still air
Wisps of smoke waft up
the peaceful pieces
Flashpoint!
Charred remains welcome
the deadened soul

IV

Twitches
Contorted faces
Restless fidgeting hands
Build-up of pent-up pressure
Boiling lava courses through dilated veins
Trigger
Point

V

A crack
The incessant murmurs of disapproval and dissent hang irritatingly
elongates
Voices of contradiction and interruption accuse maliciously
Other cracks
Piteous sounds of pleading ignored deafeningly
develop
Shouts of disagreements and accusations reverberate infinitely
Structure
Cacophonous din of holier-than-thou to's and fro's
explodes

VI

Like yeast in a small ball of dough
It grows
Tripling in size
Killed by high heat

Feng Shui?

Feng Shui?

Bukit Panjang Plaza must have been stricken with the stupidity curse today. Read the following entries and see if it's true. All entries, except Morons? and Perverted Theory took place in BPP.

Blindness

Blindness

At first, I saw her. The cashier was at her station, though there was no line waiting to pay.

Then I went to look around and picked up some mooncakes.

I went back to the same cashier station and there was no one there. And there were two others in front of me.

There was nothing at the station to say that it was closed. So we waited.

Then my friend said, "Eh, there's another cashier there."

I quickly made my move there.

But it's weird that the organisers of the podium sale did not think they needed to have signs to tell us where the cashiers are located, especially when they closed a station.

What lack of foresight.

Foolishness

Foolishness

You invite me to taste the mooncakes you are promoting.

Your income depends on my buying the mooncakes.

I take a small sliver, flatten it with my tongue and out oozed the lard used to make the filling of the mooncake smooth.

I commented, "Wah! So oily."

She replied, "Aiyon! You know how to eat mooncake or not? Must be oily then nice. Oilier, better."

I think, "Foolish woman. I'm already dying under my layers of fats..."

But I said, "Thank you. Not my taste." And I look for a dustbin to spit out the viscuous morsel.

Group Stupidity

Group Stupidity

You're a group of 5 persons in a food court waiting for seats.

You find 4 seats at one end on a table for 12. Two of you sit down and wait for the family occupying the middle 5 seats to clear.

Then some seats are cleared as the members who had finished their dinner vacates the table.

So, you carry on to linger at your seats without making any move to occupy the table.

Then someone comes along and, leaving the four seats that you've occupied, sits in the seats in the middle.

Now, you're stuck with 4 seats for 5 persons again. And you look at one another.

Retards

Retards

A family was going down the travellator from B1 to B2. (Travellators are different from escalators as instead of steps, they have a moving flat sloping surface.)

To act as though she's very smart, elder sister started to walk backwards on the travellator. Younger sister immediately followed suit. So as their parents go further down the moving slope, elder sister tried to defy the travellator's motion.

Just then, I stepped on and she nearly knocked into me. I immediately went, "OI!"

She got a shock, quickly moved forward, and her father scolded her.

She looked back and I shot her a rude glare.

She has the making of a slut - when her husband scolds her, she'll seek her extra-marital boyfriend for comfort.

Bitch

Bitch

I should say BLIND BITCH.

How can any one be so damned blind to walk between a Bengawan Solo cake display shelf, behind her daughter and not see that there isn't much of any road between me and the cake shelf?

The daughter cleared between the shelf and I. The BLIND BITCH MUM acted like ANOTHER MORON, swayed her BLOODY BIG BACKSIDE, and promptly brushed the sole of her slippers (I think they were Neckermans or imitation) against my feet and toe nails.

I glared at her and she quickly apologized. So I countered, "Walk also cannot walk properly."

Moron?

Moron?

It's not easy to see moronic behaviour as you walk along the street. But how do you know how you can confirm who's the real moron? Simple.

Walked behind two siblings when I was crossing from Alexandra Market to Ikea. Elder boy tried to mark across the pedestrian crossing. Younger boy tried to imitate.

Elder boy raised left hand and left leg, right hand and right leg as he marched. Younger boy didn't manage that. He raised the left hand and the right leg, and vice versa.

Who's the real moron? My money's on the older brother...

Perverted Theory

Perverted Theory

I think I've figured out why Singapore has a depressed birth rate.

When kids are young, they are given dolls to play with. So these little ones mummy their li'l ones.

When these kids grow up, they feel as though they've spent an entire life time looking after li'l ones that NEVER seem to grow up.

So they don't any more li'l ones, even those that they give birth too.