I've noticed

This season, I have tried really hard not to focus on problems, or life that most people have to face...and have felt inspired by a talk on gratitude. I have tried to think of those who have given to me and sent thanks...but I have been thinking that alot of wonderful things in my life are contributed by people who have gone ahead and don't know me. Anyways, so this post is a thankyou for them.

First and foremost. Most people say "thankyou" to the soldiers and those for their freedom, but as I grow older, I see that the sacrifice is made by family and community, by individuals, and those that come home alive mentally changed and fighting bad memories. There must be a reason and purpose for them, and it is for people like me. People who can live good and easy lives and not think much about what it really means to live so innocently. Thankyou and may I never take you for granted or pass by you in the street or ever pass any judgement. I'm pleased to know a few soldiers and will always do my best to be supportive.

I'm grateful that as a woman I can vote and be looked upon as an equal and respected. I realize that it's not like that everywhere in the world. Thankyou women who stood up in the past and suffered criticism and worked so hard. May I never do anything to disrespect myself after you worked so hard to earn some for me.

Thanks to some choice politicians. Everyone loves to criticize them (hey me included), but there are plenty of examples of people who were politicians and worked hard to give me a good country and often did the right thing, many even who sacrificed their careers to do that. I see some even now days who did the right thing and lost for it. Like a couple good Democrats from Colorado I respect now. Anyways, I appreciate the life I have in this country. I can say what I want and the worse that can happen is people disagree with me. I can go to school and I can marry who I want. Thankyou.

Thanks to loads of teachers who undoubtedly could have made more money elsewhere. Many taught, many boosted me and many still probably have never gone on a cruise or seen the world that they teach about...thanks for the sacrifice for me.

Thanks to so many good scientists. There are so many diseases I will never know about now. I can shop online and not face the mall I despise. Thankyou scientists.

Lastly, I'm thankful for My Heavenly Father. I cannot deny his hand in my life and I see him all over when my eyes are open and I cannot deny that he is great. May I forever aspire and get better to earn your forgiveness and return to you.

Stacy

Disenchanted

O.k., I know the big news story before the election was that Americans feel disenchanted with politics. I didn't, I mean I role my eyes at the news stories as much as the next guy, but I just saw people fighting for way different political extremes.

However, I am pretty disenchanted at the "deal" that Obama and some other Democrats have struck with Republicans. I thought we all wanted less debt right? Hey didn't the Republicans campaign on that? It's a bunch of crap.

It seems the Republicans are straining their necks to protect a few superwealthy people and little attention to actually reducing the debt. I think the Democrats are selling out too. They should have held out to tax the wealthy. I think the Republicans would have eventually caved. All this for stupid unemployment? I know it's a problem now, but I think the debt is a way bigger problem. I'm for protecting the weak, but my kids are becoming the weak now! Who steps into this world with such a bad debt problem. At least they should have the chance to run it up in their time, right? I waited for the stimulus to help and am even chearful about there still being American car compaines, but this is too much for me.


I personally would like to see a deal where the superwealthy pay a little more taxes, and unemployment although necessary, should have a limit. I don't know the ins and outs, but from what I read, people can be on it for years in the current system. That's too much. I know some great people on unemployment right now, but I think alot of them might agree to a limit- like not years!

I attempted to change my affilition from Independent to Democrat towards the end of the last election, but it was a little more work than I intended and I let it go. I'm glad now, niether party has earned my respect. Democrats, you passed Health Care, but that won't win me over indefinately.

This deal is totally crappy.

Brown

Tonight I watched a documentary about an American white family adopting an 8 year old little Chinese girl. It was touching and I think I cried about every 10 minutes. In the end, the girl had a lot of questions about why they wanted a "Chinese" girl and the family was speaking with a therapist about it, some of the issues really baffled them.

I realized in some ways I understand. My kids (some more than others) look pretty different than me. I have often wondered about how I will teach them and prepare them for the the world and know all the answers, like good Mommies do.

So I will tell you the truth, I know very much that I only know what it's like to be white. Even if I observe alot, I only know what it's like to live in my fair skin. I know that.

I know that I can't teach you everything you need to know. I hope and pray for some person in your life to give you good advice and be a role model in ways I can't be, and I will truly be grateful. Someone to tell you the good things about brown from a place of knowing in a way I can't.

Here is the only thing Mommy does know Mijos: Mommy has walked down alot of roads before you and can give you good advice (and one day you'll know it's good advice)-but I can't walk down all the same roads as you, even if our skin matched. It's the same way with every kid. It's o.k. with me and I want it to be o.k. with you. Ultimately you are God's child before mine and he has prepared a way and, all this skin color is his design. So it's o.k. If someone doesn't care to get to know you are decides something about you before you open your mouth, you will find a way to cope. He will send you an answer better than mine, one that is knowing unlike mine.

This is what I do know.

Really a few random thoughts that equal an update.

I am really grateful for the Internet. I have found lately too that I am personally most happy if I do alot of other activities and spend a little less time on the Internet. Just the same, I'm glad it's here for the occasional catch up and to share my thoughts.

So Adriana has something called bladder reflux. Much like the little flap in your stomach can get weak and cause your stomach acid to come up in acid reflux. Some peoples little flap that is in the bladder can do the same thing, so when your bladder is full urine can return up to the kidneys. This can lead to more infections and that is how we found out she had this problem. Anyways, there is levels of seriousness and Adriana's isn't so bad and alot of babies grow out of it....but there is this unpleasant test to find out if you do. We did that today. I knew it would be unfun because she had it when she was about 3 months old. Anyways it involves catheters and filling up your bladder as full as it can go quickly and holding your uncomfortable crying child down on the table. I really hate it. It made me think though of our Heavenly Father. You see I can't explain to my daughter that this is uncomfortable but that way more hurtful things could happen if she doesn't go through this. I can't tell her that it will soon be over. And, she wouldn't understand even if the words came out of my mouth why this has to be done. So...I have to hold her down and watch her cry and it's hard on me. I wonder if when we go through our trials, ones we don't want and seem to be inflicted on us, if we aren't a little like this. We don't have perspective and even if our Father could explain in his words, we just wouldn't understand yet. I wonder if we don't see how this is so much better than some consequence we would have if we didn't go thought it. And, I wonder if it pains him just the same. I hope this comes to mind for me when I'm facing some trial and the only thing to do is just to trust Heavenly Father.

I'm also grateful to for people who help. A friend of ours, Alberto, has been helping us redo our basement. He has ideas, he comes over with ideas and although there is a tiny bit of a trade involved, we are definitely getting the better part of the deal. I'm so stinking grateful for that though. So much of life is someone helping you out, someone you probably have no means to help back.

Speaking of someone who gave me so much and I can't possibly pay back.....my Mom. This last week I went to Sam's first parent teacher conference. It was a nice experience. He is doing well, getting it and excelling a little even. I can't say it's because I spend countless hours studying with him. That's not true at all. It's my Mom. You see, Sam's birthday is a few days before the deadline and technically he could have gone last year. I was a mom ready for a little free time, but luckily my Mom explained to me in a convincing and logical and non judgemental way, it might be best for him to wait. It was good advice Mom, I'm really grateful now. She told me with exceptions, most girls are ready but most boys aren't when they are close to the deadline. So, I waited and I think it's been the right thing in my situation. I want Sam to feel successful in school, even if some of it's just being a little bit older. It's a big gift and I'm grateful for sometimes listening to my Mom.

Hey isn't Thanksgiving coming up next month? That isn't why I wrote this, but I will definitely feel it this year.

Having it all

It's funny how when you have everything, you feel everything. I feel really lucky right now, I can't say I want for anything but more time and more sleep. My feelings everyday vacillate from frustration to joy and exhausted to gratitude. I'm so happy with my little family and so many wonderful things to choose from. So happy sometimes it's like a speeding car going too fast past a beautiful scene. I want my kids to grow, but I want to remember how they look and act at that age, but I know it's all too much and maybe a few pictures will remind, but life goes on and memories fade for me. Also, I want to make all the right parenting moves, but sometimes that gets mixed up with all the other stuff on the daily chore list. Anyways, this is the best way I could describe about how life is right now. I'm sure it's that way for everyone. Here a couple of cute pictures of us up to see the fall colors in Golden Gate Park.

Hospitals

So, I knew the day would come, but we've finally had our experiences in the ER...actually a few of them. I'm tired of telling the story how Sam broke his arm, he just did roughhousing. I thought a quick run into the ER, maybe sprain or cast, and run home. Boy was I wrong. First I went to the Rose ER. They are trying to do a "Kids Express" and it was quick. No waiting, the doctors were super kind. Sam also thought it was cool when I told him he was born there, another likely traumatic day in his life I will never forget that thank goodness he probably did right away.

However, Sam broke the end of his arm near his elbow and I guess that is a "growth plate" and it has to be pinned just right or his arm won't grow. So, I knew we were in trouble when the Doc asked me if he should refer me to the pediactric orthopedic surgeon at Childrens or Presbyterian St. Lukes (now Rocky Mtn. Hospital for Children). I picked the latter because it's a Health One hospital and my husband is a Health One employee and that is the only hospital our insurance will pay for. It was a good choice, again, so impressed with them and we got this really top notch surgeon, Dr. Benson, who even draws pictures of request on all her patients (she's a good surgeon, the pics are just a plus). I have absolutely no complaint about my experiences there. No waiting, great Dr.'s and everyone was so friendly!

Well, I went to Skyridge last week to get my gall bladder removed and came home the same day. The nurse there did the best IV I've ever had! I'm doing better. That's enough about that.

Lastly, today, Adriana fell off her brother's bunkbed while we were listening to conference. Had no idea she'd snuck into their room, but whatever. Anyways, it got scary when she threw up a few times after that (a big sign of a possible head injury)...so off we were again, to the ER. We know our favorites now. We just went to the Rocky Mountain Hospital for Children. Again, no waiting at all, and had the best neuro doc right there. She's fine, we got to go home, but we're hoping things happen in threes and it's our last hospiatl experience in a while!


The Millenium Falcon from Star Wars was Sam's request. Got a lot of geek attention on that one...and aren't we all a little geeky :)!

This was just for the picture, no Sam was more dressed when we went to the hospital, it was just a little hard to get a shirt on right after that, it was a stinking big cast! He just got it off last week.

Aren't grandmas great!!!

So this is one of two skirts that grandma sewed while we visited. She's amazing at her skill, something I have always admired about my Mom, and...her wrist is broken! What a pioneer woman. It was worth the last minute expense and driving time. May I always use my money and time so well!



Showing Adriana around the garden...


I tripped upon this scene and got it before anyone could pose. Grandmas was telling the boys stories in the hammock.

Going to Idaho was great, but this is why we go.

What to do with my anger

So, I have felt a little bit more like reading and cooking than blogging and following the news and getting on face book. But, I heard a news story lately that has haunted me, and I can't let it go. I didn't hear this the first time around and maybe it made a big news splash, but I won't be surprised if it didn't either.

I guess that 70+ people were killed from mostly South America, trying to cross the U.S. and Mexican Border by who is likely the Zetas (one of the worse Mexican drug gangs) for get this, refusing to carry DRUGS with them.

I feel angry about this, this is only a day to day occurrence in what many know is a terrible drug war, but I am personally tired of it. So many people have died. I think it's about time Mexico has taken it on, and I am impressed with the President who is doing it, but the numbers of deaths are so staggering! It's so sad.

You know, the part that gets me the most is if it wasn't such a money maker in our big and wealthy country, it wouldn't be a problem. I see a raging debate here about how immigrants from Mexico are ruining our country, but little coverage about how our drug appetite has destroyed theirs. I don't have total numbers, but my guess is that the numbers of deaths are several times those even killed in the Sept. 11 attack. Speaking of terrorism, the main money maker of the Taliban? Isn't it the poppy? I think most of those drugs end up in Russia and Western Europe, I'm not sure about the US, but still, I think drugs fund terrorism quite a bit.

I just wonder if all our debating, arguing and fighting are going against the causes that are really ruining our world. I think that there are secret problems receiving little attention anymore.

Anyways, I have an idea, and something I think I will pursue. I can't walk around super angry at every drug user because the thought crosses my mind, what if that was my child? We are all in this together, right?

I know the school has a Dare program and I was asking a kid in it what they talk about as far as the consequences on the law side. He said an officer talks about and shows the jail and stuff. I don't think that is enough. I think that there needs to be a massive education campaign, including one mild but heart wrenching enough to show to school children about the massive crime and loss around the world because of drugs. One even with mothers crying for their lost babies. I'm not a psychologist, but my child wants to save the earth and recycle because of what he has learned in school why not have them learn they don't want to do drugs because they don't want to kill someones child in Mexico and various other poor and forsaken countries?

I want it maybe on TV, shown in colleges, etc. and I don't think that it will necessarily wipe out drugs, but I think people need to know about the social consequences, like the worldwide crime we don't see as bad in our country.

I'm still angry and agitated, but this is what I am calling for and maybe if we get the word out, it will happen.
Stacy

Some old FAVORITES

Sometimes I read the news that makes me sad, and think of blogging about it, but here is something more worthy to look at life through all some of my old favorites that make me remember why life is really so great.




On a family vacation to CA, Sam's first time at the beach, he practically pranced everywhere, it was beautiful.

Just after Isaac was born, his actual due date, yes a little posed, but I love the baby chubby still in Sam

On a little bridge in Boulder...we went for an outdoor outing celebrating my 30th.

Isaac's first Haloween, and maybe last they let me decide how to dress them...but I loved the theme.

Ride em Izzy

Adriana's first bathing suit

One of many jokes they shared

Right before Isaac turned 1

For the Learning, Not the Money

So, I have a postage stamp of a garden in front of my town home. I really can't have a real garden and we aren't supposed to grow veggies, but lets just say we all hope I keep the commandments better then the homeowner association rules :). Nobody has bugged me and my wayward garden with a couple of veggies. Anyways, yields aren't high and I know I have spent more to grow these things than I ever would have at the grocery store, but the kids loved it, and they have learned. Here are their first beans :), and my little garden. They actually had me cook their 3 beans and they each had one for dinner. I think the learning and the joy is worth the money.Hope they like it this much when they are big and I make them get up at 6 am in the summer to weed! When we have a house of coarse!

Cousins

Ted and I both come from fairly large families. A real blessing. Sure, there was divided attention with our parents and not a lot of money pouring down, but lots of siblings is really fun and the biggest blessing and now our kids have lots of cousins. We wish we could see them all more! These are the cousins we saw on vacation;


Well, technically this was the 4th of July and not our long trip, but these are the close cousins, Johny, Isabel, Sam, Izzy and Adriana. Isabel is the one holding Adriana....they look like peas in a pod. We have been lucky to have them only an hour away.



Kevin is only about a month or so older than Adriana, my sister and I have managed to have all our kids at about the same time. This picture is too small to give it justice, but Adriana is laughing. They even hugged, but not when we had the camera pointed at them.



The boys watching the World Cup, for about the 5 minutes when they weren't all running around like a little crazy gang. This is Nicholas and Nathan besides my kids.



This is the oldest cousin, Bryce, he's always doing faces like that and sneaking into pictures and being goofy...he makes me think of Mr. Bean a little bit.



The boys on a ride at Gilroy garden with cousin Atreyu, whose almost 2. He loved Adriana the most, but again, not right in front of the camera. This last trip was the first time we had seen him in person, I'm sad to admit. I love his hair,so cute.



Atreyu with his oldest sister, Anela. Nice kid.



Adriana with cousin Coady, trying to avoid his picture taken. He either acts like a total goof or hides, but I see him peeking. My kids just love him, he visited us last summer and put up with them for days before complaining.



So this is cousin Laiken, and I know you're wondering, but she's not a natural red head. But, still in high school and get's to do fun things like have crazy hair. Anyways, this is the kind of cousin I want around, one who can babysit! And, she's terribly quiet and smart, which I like.




Lastly, these are our cousins Isa and Ludwig. Again, when we were visiting the Rosses we rarely saw our children, they played dawn till dusk with their cousins outside and parents disappeared. It's so nice.

Anyways, seeing the family just reminds me, they are like friends, but even better because somehow you know that people come and go...but because you're family, you are stuck together and somehow that just feels so much better. Maybe safer, I don't know, but wonderful all the same. This is our inheritance to our kids.

The Beach

So we got back a couple of weeks ago from a truly wonderful and long trek, via car, to California. We managed to see all my husbands family and part of mine, including both sets of grandparents. Anyways, I believe I downloaded a little over 700 pictures and so I am narrowing down this post to just one thing. The beach. I will add more later, I hope? I always mean to do more than I do.


This makes me happy because our last trip to the ocean, a couple of years ago, Isaac didn't want anything to do with it...but loved it this time

Adriana meets the ocean for the first time, loved it, but hung out mostly in the sand





Isaac playing with some kelp, there was a storm hanging off the beach, so it was a little chilly but there were all these piles of gel looking things on the beach, and I learned the storms always bring in the dead jelly fish, wish I got a picture, we even found one the size of a large platter. It was pretty cool, you could touch them and everything.



If she ever does surf, she'll look pretty doing it :0)

Just wait for the tide Isaac :)


Sam was the oldest, and bravest, but I think the water barely moved the board, still a thrill


My niece and nephew, Coady and Anela

So hear was our beach day. I can't remember the beach name, but it's in Watsonville California. Sam suggested we live right on the beach. I told him the problem is, everyone wants to live there, so the homes go to the highest bidder....When I get my first mil though, that would be great. We all loved the beach, I don't know what it is about the place but this time we were there for hours, noone complained they were hungry or tired and you feel so peaceful. It was even cloudy until we were about to leave, but it still felt so great.

School is over, karate is kickin!

So one very long week ago, Sam had preschool graduation and both boys finished school! I was relieved not to have to get up in the morning to rush someone off to school, but I think I would trade it back now :). One week is long enough. Anyways, here are pictures from their preschool graduation and end of school picnic.



Sam is standing by a little boy Aiden. He was the boy who cried the whole Christmas program, but Sam more or less held his hand the whole time and he did good. I am proud of what a nice boy Sam can be most of the time (what about your own brother ;)Sam)


This is Adriana crying at the end of the graduation. The graduation was held in the church's chapel (same building as the preschool),and Adriana was super tired and cried the whole time because I wouldn't let her play with the camera. I actually had the gall to take it away and film portions at times. We were the loudest by far and it was kind of embarassing, luckily the neighbor came and eventually abandoned the event to take Adriana off to early cake, still on her face in this picture.


This is Isaac's teacher, Mrs. Dunn. I have my mother to thank for finding such a great preschool, but I really love, love, love all of the teachers there. They are the best. Mrs. Dunn is super sweet and loving and Isaac cried when I told him he would likely have a new teacher next year. This is him sitting by one of his friends, Frank.

Sam with his teacher Mrs. Norris. Again, she is great. However, Sam had friends to play with and can't understand why the heck I would need him to smile for this picture. One day, I say, he will appreciate the adults that helped him along the way.

Isaac taking his test to get his first "stripe", along the way to his yellow belt. It was a big deal and he yawned the whole time.



Today Isaac actually got his yellow stripe. It was a pretty big deal. Tae Kwan Do is something that just Isaac does and his brother didn't do before him. He like's it being his thing and I think it's great how the kids get to earn their way up the ladder. He thinks it's pretty cool. I realized today to, that I need to learn it so I can help him practice. We are both in Tae Kwan Do, I have also learned some things about soccer now. I am glad, and can't wait for the girl's first dance reciatal.