Take me by the hand take me somewhere new, I don't know who you are but ... I'm with you.


I'm tired.. of everything. Sick of everything.... This life is so confusing, I hate it. I hate to deal with this... 2011 was a bad start. I seriously feel like screaming... Hopefully tmr's kickboxing will help. 

</3 


..... Moving on.....  Whats new? AGAIN. I have another fucking essay and test coming.

On a brighter note, I will be receiving my name card next week. Super happy, I've been waiting for this day for quite a while, before I really go out to network. I have been rejecting network calls cause I didn't feel good having nothing to offer since January, so now, time to step up?

So yesterday was the High Net Worth Luncheon at Shangri-la hotel and my god dad and mum were qualifiers.  Sigh, I've been working since Dec, when everyone is out to party and play, I can't... and it sucks... and for what? For myself? Partly, but another part was for ... and now I have to go through this thing .... damn it.


Anyway, working towards this... Definitely another convertible after my 335iM-sport(MANUAL)!

 

I just finished my essay, just received my corporate email account, now got to prepare for my client's meeting on Tuesday!  lol.

AND.... for you bro..


I've never include bye on purpose in our conversations for a reason, I don't want to say goodbye to you. But when I do, I mean it and that would tell you how much you've hurt me and I think I'm enough of it because I certainly do not and don't deserve to go through the pain anymore.


We think that keeping things or secrets from our good friends is protecting them but in the end we are still hurting them by keeping things from them. Everyone has a right to know the truth. So, what makes you think that I can't handle the harsh truth? You know how much i went through?


For all that you know, please remember i still care. 

Today is the first MONDAY I don't have to worry about datelines or exams... since the start of 2011 I've been working my ass off papers. Next week I have MDRT Dinner and High Net Worth Prestige Luncheon 2011, quite nervous cause I'm a newbie. I'll be on course in 2 weeks... sian... and then school exams in May.  Oh ya, this 30 year old women said I don't have the alpha look and I was like, yeah I AM, want to try? Lol!

Well, everything feels so surreal but I do miss you... Sometimes lovers hurt me in ways they don't know.. and I give more knowing they do that... I know, weird... but I guess somethings are just better left unsaid. I didn't put a stop there actually... I'm just leaving it open ended

Tryna work a baby smile to myself. Good day to you! :)

I just woke up lol. its 4pm and now I'm eating my yoghurt.

My hair is growing longer!!! And its going back to the normal soft flattered look... omg... I just realized I've become a day person ONLY, I cannot function in the night anymore. And I've become darker,tanned.... and my mom is kinda questioning me about what I've been doing cause of the obvious skin colour.

This is bad... I mean the part where I become only active in the day. Anyway this is weird but seems like many people heard about .... lol ... ppl randomly asking me if I'm okay and things like that, I'm good and happy! There's no reason why I should sulk when people don't care you know. And how come people know about my work when I never disclosed anything, then suddenly wanna meet up? Okay but I said yes to some of you!

My day started out really bad... but I shall not talk about it cause it just kinda makes me mad. Anyway I received really nice chocolates and a dinner treat from :) tonight! Eating one now!! I kinda hate the idea of drinking already, like I just don't wanna go back to the scene anymore cause its messy and I had my fun back then..... So right now just chilling out... Going for my IPL later after my submissions. And need to go cut my hair, its getting out of shape.. hahahah no shopping at the moment.

Today I slept till so late, cause I seriously am tired, didnt sleep for like 2 nights...


And about you...honestly, very disappointed... very disrespectful. That awkward moment when you don't know how to continue a conversation with someone you care about and you just sound really boring.
When you hurt me continuously, you have no idea what I'm going through. Now you're hurt by someone, you have a taste of the unbearable heartache? How does it feel? Sucks isn't it, but it's times two the pain for me to see you like this. And you'll never understand or know.
SO if you miss me… you can’t text, you can’t email, you can’t post it on my facebook wall. if you really miss me, you come and see me... - no strings attached




I walk, trying to lessen the weight of my heart. To a place neither close nor far, where a different me stands by. The one that don't fear, don't tear, don't open up. You'll see it all, pretty soon. Reality forced me to turn in the hard way and no one tries to drag me back, you can't blame me for that then. :)

Jealousy. Mistrust. Insecure. That's what you are made of. What good you have really, tell me!

Up till today, i think having a friend like you makes me real diffcult and stressed up. As you know,i've already been very stressed up with my business just started not long. I need support and encouragement. 

Let's put in to an end, since nothing changes from before. After several times, i tried very hard to feedback to you about yourself. I'll clear up what i have owed you, and the chapter of our "good friends" friendship ends here. Let's just be a "HI-BYE" friend,so you wouldn't be expecting anymore of my calls and texts.

Like what i mentioned at the later part of last year, i would REALLY see who are my true friends and i will eliminate those i no longer need.

Fond memories will forever be kept inside me, you choose it this way. Can't be help. For my part, i know i did my best.

-take care-

Only both of us know what we truly want to feel.. and I know how you express your love... in many ways, sometimes I can't understand. Haha, maybe I'll never get to, but yea... I figured, I don't have to be right, I just want to be happy and I am happy with you...

I'm different from the rest, I'll treasure you and love you, like now.. like the beginning... so treasure me too :)

Someone said something really true... sometimes, people dare not show their true feelings even if they like somebody, but most of it would usually be shown in one person's eyes only... you get the drift... so true.


I love you, you know I do

So much can happen within a span of half a year.. so much memories can be built... so much emotions involved. Honestly, I remember only the happy times cause I knew that when I was with you I was very happy :)

I miss you.. I def do... I love you... I def do... I would do anything just to spent time with you... I def do.. I would go ALL out for you... you know I would and my actions have spoken clearly, louder then my feelings from my heart and words spoken from my mouth.

Yea I let this pass and I know damn sure there'll be a third...and if you don't care.. you seriously don't have my respect!


I don't fucking care about the context of the lie, whose in it, whose not.. whatever. I care about the spirit of doing it... and what it means to you and how it measures me in your life... 


Seriously how come people don't take relationships seriously, especially after being previous relationships? Don't you learn ????

In general, the Scorpio men is very faithful to the people they love, however they can also portray the considerably strong traits for over possessiveness and jealousy within their relationships.

What starts with F and ends in UCK? That's right, firetruck! What starts with P and ends in ORN? That's right, popcorn! hhaha

I headed to tsim sha tsui today with one of my classmates, although this place was a little too noisy ... but sashimi was really fresh.. and as u know it has always been my all time fav. This whole week been so alone, doing work.. and I have a hell lot of back lock because now I'm focusing on industry papers first.


i have a long weekend this round  before hell comes back.. hahah

We had zhe cha at Wang Zai which was so cheap. Fish, stingray, oyster omelette, seafood soup, Deep fried lobster (someone gobbled it lol) and many more... chauffeured for 45 mins ... long traffic in Hong kong lol. And I just found out non-sambal stingray is damn nice. 


Anw its gonna be a long tough week for me... sigh. But if all goes well that is, it'll be 2 more weeks till this shit is over... and then Valentines is coming...

Honestly... I'm out of comfort zone right now, like seriously OUT and quite struggling alone.. Then again, work is always about striving it on your own. Other commitments other than that can't be on priority now cause of so much going on, which, may be a good thing cause it makes me stronger.  But.... but... Love transcends a multitude of things, watching and waiting clears my head.

No need to push so hard for a r/s or love for that matter, it comes naturally..

At least I got my BFFs with me.. hehe. you know who you are... <3 you

This is the song I only dedicate to someone really special. Since I was a kid, I always wanted this to be my wedding song! Hahaha... IT WILL STILL BE THIS SONG!

The depth of the lyrics is unreachable... because it speaks about the tender nature of love and how we need to move on even in every trial, even in distance and spaces.. there is a part inside you, where your heart goes on because of that one special person.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmYjoHi21vo

Love can touch us one time and last for a life time... its true. When we make a mistake with our previous relationships, we will remember them forever... a life time... it might be a painful memory, but love transcends many things that lasts in our hearts.. eternally. We might 'forget'... but how much do we truly forget, somewhere somehow it still lingers...

I've learnt this lesson and understood.. 

We all need to treasure love really. I made one big mistake in the past... one. But it made me realized I never loved my first. Never. And I will not let the second one go this time.. because I don't want a point in time where someone I really loved is just left in a memory that is so undeserving. Even if there is ever a third, I'd love my second like I never loved anyone, more than my first, more than myself. 

The second is the first of every part of me that wants to change and give love like I never gave. 

Once we lose someone, we can never get them back, we lose them forever... and that hurts...

I'd give my best to that person :)

you can trust me

You are not always right.. never. You just thought you were right & isolate your entire world around what you want to think was gonna be right. Life is more than your tiny little orbit, thats why you have impressions.


be the last to kiss my lips


it ends tonight.

As tears fall down my face

I think of you, your face

The good times we shared

The bad times we had

All in my heart, never part..

Everything about you is beautiful

And I finally realized

I love you so much baby girl

Too much for our own good

Yes, I'd die for you

I'd live another day just to see you

My hands will wipe your tears

My heart will ease your hurt

But when all is said and done

From here we either stay or part...
But in my heart, you're always there
I will cherish you
In my heart ... everywhere...

I know your flaws and imperfections and I'd still love you perfectly...

Just be happy with whatever you have, this is the reason why you have only this much, obviously... so stop coming around us, roaming and luring - hoping to thrive on our rubbish... cause if you like it, we'll give you more, especially me!




cause the truth hurts, the last words and I can't take it anymore.. but I can't love you a little less then before.

The only way to love anybody is to realize that they may be lost.... and nobody gets the best of both worlds.. nobody.

Love is a thing that connects every part of your life, even when you're at work, somehow you'll think of that special person, and it is usually at the end of all the fun. Home is where we all want to run to at the end of the day, you and I know that very well.

Then the paradox is that when we stop chasing someone, they chase us back... its definitely like cycling. We're recycling love and it shouldn't be this way... I hate the way people are treating relationships like punching bags... as for you, for your previous few, I know somehow it felt that way.. and that is why it seems beyond comprehension right now... that the way we feel about each other, the way I feel about you.. the things we do and everything thats crossing our paths seem so foreign and new to you...

Honest mistakes only can take place once or twice... very most 3 times... its not gonna keep happening and let you abuse it. That is my point, I don't wanna treat love as if it is usable.. my kind of love is meant to be untouchable... only for a very special person. For us, I clearly want it to be grounded on this foundation.

Being promiscuous is part of the equation I have to admit.. but you know when its over board, you do..

Whatever circumstances, I know I have bravely fought for you

We stay in love because its a choice, never by chance..

I hope I've made it very clear :)

Dont. leave. Please stay. Its nice to be in the dark right? No brittle smiles, No air kisses, No sarcasm. Forget the stress. The worry. Life is too short for cruelty, come with me. Close your eyes.

its 2011 now, :) got back this morning... and we talked it out proper, we know what we want, and we're gonna do this.

People are just jealous and its not freaking me out, it just makes me happier.... But the whole idea of it is kinda perverse..

For all the things you are doing and did... thank you :)

So 2011 is finally here. There's only one thing I can tell you, no more second chances, NO MORE. We've grown, we're all grown ups and the way we want to live is how we make it to be. We're all capable of making wise decisions..

Indeed I am disappointed. BUT, I choose to believe you, believe in you.. because at the end of the day, the feeling of regret is more far fetching then anything else, as I have learnt. I want to make sure each of us have room to reflect. I am not begging you.. just do it for yourself or for us if you will... its all up to you. I can be there for you but I can't always be there... I will not dwell on it anymore, enough attention spent on it!