Having two kids instead of one means all sorts of changes - it takes longer to get everyone in the car, your own dinner gets pushed back farther or doesn't get remembered at all, there are two to cause night disturbances, and suddenly the cost of feeding and clothing your kids skyrockets. It just seems like everything takes longer to do and more things don't get done. However, I'm beginning to see the first glimmers of why you have more than one child. Recently, Sam has become a lot more interesting (waving, clapping, crawling, playing more with toys) and Morgan is reevaluating her pint-sized sidekick. Granted, she's realizing that he can suddenly get into all her stuff and that she might actually have to clean up after herself. And that she doesn't really like it when he plays with "her" toys. But with that is the dawning awareness of a new and permanent playmate who is not named Mommy, for which I give thanks. Morgan needs people like most of us need our cell phones. If it's not within reach, we get a little panicky. When I go up the stairs, Morgan follows, even when I tell her I'm coming right back down. When I go into the next room, she comes too. There have been times when I've locked myself into my bedroom because I need a minute of personal space, and that's the only way I can get it. And then she bangs on the door and screams until I open it. The thought of Morgan and Sam happily playing (or fighting) together, sans me, fills my personal space bubble with joy.
Morgan's little people issue might be behind our ongoing dilemma with bedtimes. Sleep has never been much of a problem with Morgan; she took great naps and slept in late in the morning. I loved that about her. Ever since we took her crib rail off and inserted the toddler slat, though, she's been testing boundaries and fighting her routine. Potty training only made that worse, because she learned quickly that I couldn't really say no to her bladder (although after the 5th "I need to go potty" in a half hour, I started to get suspicious...). It seems like it takes a full hour sometimes to really get her to bed, and then she comes in a few times each night to tell me she has to use the bathroom, and then she trots in at 6 AM to breathe on me. Nap times are terrible; full of potty trips, requests for her socks to be taken off, her sweater put back on, her pillow fixed, her ponytail taken out - anything she can think of to escape her room and make me crazy. We bought her a pink clock and carefully taught her when she can get up, and even though she understands perfectly, she doesn't follow it. We've tried threats, bribes, negative and positive reinforcement, ignoring, yelling, the other day I even took a present away from under the tree. She screams and sobs when I take things away from her, but it makes no difference in her behavior. So I've started to think that it's about people. When she's in bed, she's isolated from the rest of us and is all alone. And I think that she hates that more than being punished or losing things. However, I hate that she's cranky all the time because she's tired, and I hate not having any kind of private time from my kid. Solution: we turned her door knob backwards so that I can lock her in her room. There are some out there who think that's barbaric. I say that I've tried all their "humane" ideas and nothing has worked. One lady commented online that being a mom means being tired and on call 24/7 for 18 years, so stop locking your kid in their room and start being selfless. I think that's ridiculous. Being a parent is about teaching boundaries, reinforcing consequences, sticking to schedules, and showing kids how the real world works. And me going crazy isn't going to help my kids.
I'm stepping off my soapbox now, a little sheepishly. Next post will be filled with fluffy lighthearted pictures and commentary, I promise, and help assuage your doubts about my parenting qualifications.
Onesie and Dress Tie Embroidery
9 years ago