Your Servant Profile

This blog has been in pergatory for a while due to busyness. Now, this will be one of the last updates.

In the last month, we've been going through the Network Curriculum. This curriculum has been useful for many local churches in helping their members discover their God-given uniqueness. It has then been use to mobilize these people to a place of meaningful service in the local church. Of course the curriculum comes with the standard powerpoint stuff, course textbooks, and practical biblical teachings.

For our class, we looked at three main topics that help create Servant Profile.

1. Passion - 'where' you're motivated to serve.

2. Spiritual Gifts - 'what' you're equipped to do.

3. Personal Style - 'how' you can best serve.

It is our prayer that this process of discovering your unique servant profile has been beneficial in helping you discern how you can best be a part of the Kingdom of God.

Conversation with the church leaders

Last week, we had the chance to talk to two leaders who serve the church.

The way this meeting came about was because one leader had a conversation with Uncle Simon about their different perspectives of church leadership.

One leader commented that there may be a lack of leadership in the English congregation because there are no new English deacons, and there are very little Executive Board members from the English side.

Uncle Simon shared his perspective - that leadership doesn't necessarily have to be the officially recognized church leadership, but rather, the English congregation has its own definition and practice of leadership.

And so uncle Simon invited these church leaders to share about their experiences, their hopes, and their frustrations about leadership.


Feedback
After class, I was speaking to a few people and I heard some pretty interesting remarks. Some include the following:

- I never knew the 'official' church leadership was so messy

- We should develop more unity

- When they were sharing, I felt like I was being talked down to

- the church won't be able to keep going with its existing leadership structure

- do we need to go to the exec board to practice leadership

I'm not sure if you're familiar with church politics or how you felt after that talk, but I personally am quite encouraged by these type of conversations - and here's why.

One Body with Many Members
I used to complain that our church leadership is stuck in a time-warp: that they operate out of a leadership model from the 70s. They still might, but that's not the point here. I have since learned more about how scripture really does give insights into real and practical issues of life and how we can move pass complaining.

In 1 Corinthians 12-14, we see Paul hammering the issue of division/disunity. The church of Corinth was messed up - there were power strugglings, people claiming one ministry/spiritual gift was better than another, and ultimately nothing was done with a loving spirit (does this sound familiar?).

So Paul writes in 12:12 that 'all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.' And we're not just one body, but in 12:27 we 'are the body of CHRIST and individually members of it'. And of course if we were to exercise our rights/priviledges/gifts as members of the body 'but do not have love, then I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal' (13:1).


I think the talk with the church leaders is a step in the right direction. They have expressed their frustration in not being able to understand our culture/generation. They also admit that they cannot do the same things they've been doing all the time. They want to pass on the leadership baton to us.

They just don't know how.

Let's figure out how to better serve one another out of love and learn to help each other grow past any cultural/generational barriers.

I think that's what it means to be the body of Christ.

Mentorship: Thinking Back, Looking Ahead

Last sunday, I (Yu-Ling) shared about my experience in a mentor relationship with Nolan.

I cannot overly emphasize the importance that a spiritual mentor can have in your life. I believe it's within God's plan that a community helps shape your faith. We cannot do this alone.

In the OT times, without the use of paper, the Israelites would pass down biblical truth by means of oral tradition. Meaning, the older people would gather with the younger people and share their lives, their stories, and point the youner people towards God's story.

Somewhere amongst this natural community development, people formed natural relationships between the older and the younger, between the veteran and the rookie, and definitely between mentor and mentee.

We see the mentor relationship develop between Jesus and his disciples. We see it developed between Moses and Joshua. And on sunday, I shared about Paul and Timothy's mentoring relationship.

2 TIMOTHY
We spent some time in 2 Timothy and we could see how a lifelong mentorship can lead to great things. Through a time of service and mentorship together, Paul and Timothy have grown to become more than mentor/mentee. Let's take a look at what the state of their relationship had become at the time when Paul wrote this letter (possibly his last letter).

We'll just look at the beginning and the ending of the book, but I challenge you to read the whole book and see if you can spot any other mentoring inferences.

1:2 Paul addresses Timothy as his beloved child.

1:3 Paul constantly prays for Timothy every night and day.

1:4 Paul recalls Timothy's tears and he takes comfort in that memory.

1:4 Paul longs to see Timothy so that he may be filled with joy.

1:5 Paul is reminded of Timothy's faith and he sees the same faith in Timothy that he saw in Timothy's mom and grandmother. He knows Tim's family so well that he can make such a statement.

--- fast forward to end of the book ---

4:9 Paul asks Timothy to do his best to go to him soon.

4:13 Paul asks Timothy to bring his cloack and books and parchments that he left in various places. These are personal items that only a close friend could locate.

4:21 Paul asks Timothy to do his best to go to him before winter. This is his second plea to ask Timothy to come to him.

From this letter, we can see that Paul and Timothy have transformed their mentor/mentee relationship into something more. It's come to the point that Paul looks to Timothy for help as a older grandfather would look to his strong adult son to help comfort him. It must've been great joy for Paul to hear that Timothy is carrying on Paul's work and expanding it.

And so, I have to say this again: I believe that a mentoring relationship is vital for our spiritual journeys.

Please continue to pray and actively search for one.

Having Spiritual Conversations

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

- Proverbs 27:6

Last sunday, we did an exercise where we would try and help each other discover their root issues (esp in regards to their weak fruit of the spirit).

We were given an exercise where we would imagine having a conversation with a difficult person in our life and we allowed the other people in our small group to ask us questions about why we find this person so difficult.

When we were planning for this sunday school, we realized that it was borderline 'Dr. Phil type of psychiatry', which isn't our intention. We also realize that it may be difficult for many of us to share this deeply with others that we don't know well. It is not our intention to make you uncomfortable.

BUT

after just 15-20 minutes into the activity, we see an urgent need for these type of conversations in our church. As leaders we need to be able to ask good questions. To be mindful of the person whom we're serving in order to demonstrate care. We may even have to ask tough questions in order to help the other person grow. I would question why we as Christians do not tend to do this more often?

When I look at some popular television shows, a lot of them have to do with demonstrating care or reconciliation in some way. I think about Oprah, or Dr. Phil, or even Extreme Makeover: House Edition... and all these shows are very popular for the very reason that people DO want to see goodness being demonstrated in this world. People DO want to see others be reconciled over family issues, poverty issues, etc.

So why can't we as Christians in TCBC begin to take small steps so that we will be open to this idea of reconcilitation?

I know it's tough, and I'm not asking that we become intimate friends with every single person in our congregation. But we need to be more inclusive with our relationships, always reaching out to the marginalized and demonstrating Christ's love.

And this starts with having spiritual conversations with others.

And that is why we're continuing this activity for this coming sunday.

Love, Character and Separation

Last sunday,

we probably experienced something at church for the very first time. A BLACKOUT. I have to apologize right away because even such a little thing like the absence of adequate lighting will change the entire learning atmosphere.

Thank you guys for trying your best to learn/listen.

That being said, I think it's a great segway into what we were originally trying to do.

We did an activity whereby you had to describe a TIME magazine page to the other person without having that other person be able to see the magazine. As we experienced first hand, if we just separate one of our senses, it is very difficult to fully communicate.

This is a universal truth.

We looked at Genesis 3 and we see that there are generally 6 things that causes separation/alienation that is true for all mankind. These 6 ideas of separation will result in barriers in communication, relationship, and spiritual well-being.

6 TYPES OF SEPARATION
By order, this is what we see in Genesis 3:

v.7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made loincloths for themselves

1. Separation from YOURSELF.
Can you look at your naked self and not be ashamed? Do you immediately wish to cover up because you are ashamed of what you see (physically, emotionally, spiritually)?

v.8 They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

2. Separation from GOD.
Do you run away from God? Are you ashamed of being fully naked in front of Him?

v.12 The man said, "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate."

3. Separation from OTHERS.
Do you tend to cast blame on others? Is your tendency to be selfish, not trusting?

v.17 ...cursed is the ground because of you; in toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life...

4. Separation from STEWARDSHIP.
Does work lose its appeal to you? Does it no longer become a challenge but is rather oppressive?

v.23 Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden... he drove out the man...

5. Separation from our ROOTS.
Have you ever felt like you lost your sense of space, your home, your 'turf'? What happens when you are so mobile and you have no permanent sense of community?

v.24 ...and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim, and a sword flaming and turning to guard the way to the tree of life.

6. Separation from TREE OF LIFE.
Do your thoughts drift towards the finality of death? Do you lament the aches and pains of your body? Do you fear aging?

THE HOPE
It is important that we reconcile all 6 ideas of separation. The church typically focuses on just reconciling our separation with God, but perhaps we should begin where the person is.

Our hope is that there is still the tree of life, and that it has been moved from the garden and ends off at Calvary's hill.

see y'all on sunday.

Fought well you have, my old Padawan

Definition of Mentoring:
Passing on to others what God has given to you.

- Ted Engstrom

First, don't mind the STAR WARS reference. If you get it, good for you... if not, well... we'll all have to go watch the STAR WARS movies for class sometime.

Anyways, on to sunday school business.


MENTORING
We are beginning to look at the issue of mentoring. It is interesting that many businesses have begun to have mentoring programs as they see the importance of this type of training. Yet, the church (which prides itself on being more relational, relevant, and life-changing) has relatively very few people in mentorship type of relationships.

We hope to change this at TCBC.

Jasmine and I hope to start off slow, we want to ask ourselves a few questions.

• Do you feel you NEED a mentor?


• What TYPE of mentor do you feel would be most effective with you?

CHALLENGE
We're hopeful that everyone in the class will be able to find a mentor by the month of January.


DIFFERENT TYPES OF MENTORING
In class, we looked at 9 types of mentoring (adapted from Stanley and Clinton). They were categorized by three different modes due to their differing natures of relationship.

1. Intensive - highly deliberate, with more depth and awareness of effort, usually quite structured, often longer-term.
2. Occasional - focused interaction for a short duration, with specific goals; supplementary to more intensive models.
3. Passive - often less deliberate, often unstructured or intermittent.

Here are the 9 types:

Discipler (intensive)
Spiritual guide/director (intensive)
Coach (intensive)
Teacher (occasional)
Counselor (occasional)
Sponsor (occasional)
Contemporary model (passive)
Historical model (passive)
Divine contact (passive)


BARNABAS AS MENTOR
We also did a short devotional on Barnabas as a mentor. Here are a few bible references that you can look up and see how God has used him to influence others.

A. Barnabas' family background (Acts 4:36) - key preparation for his ministry

B. Barnabas as example in Jerusalem (Acts 4:37) - spiritual qualities that point toward future fruitfulness in ministry and mentorship

C. Barnabas as "divine contact" for Saul with Jerusalem church (Acts 9:19b-30)

D. Barnabas as trusted advisor linking Jerusalem church and Antioch (Acts 11:19-30)

E. Affirmation of Barnabas' character (Acts 11:24)

F. Barnabas coaches Paul through co-ministry in Antioch (Acts 11:25-30)

G. Barnabas and Paul - "authority switch" for 1st missionary journey (Acts 12:25)

H. Barnabas' key advisory role in the Jerusalem Council (Acts 15:1)

I. Barnabas splits with Paul, mentors John Mark in Cyprus (Acts 15:36-41)

J. Conclusion - types of mentoring clearly demonstrated by Barnabas

1. Barnabas as "contemporary model" - exemplary life, worship, fasting
2. Barnabas as "divine contact" - strategic intervention in Saul's life
3. Barnabas as "sponsor" - introduces Saul to Jerusalem and Antioch ministries
4. Barnabas as "teacher" - preaching and encouraging ministry, esp. in Antioch
5. Barnabas as "coach" - year-long modelling and co-ministry with Saul
6. Barnabas as "counsellor" - trusted advisor for both Antioch and Jerusalem leaders, role at Jerusalem Council

**on this basis, Barnabas becomes a "historical model" for us.**

Leadership Styles & Emotional Intelligence

A natural facility with humour is intertwined with, and appears to be a marker for higher emotional intelligence. Increased levels of self-awareness can make the difference between the pitch-perfect zinger and the barb that just stings.

- Fabilo Sala, "Laughing all the Way to the Bank"
Harvard Business Review, Sept 2003, pp. 16-17

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - EI
When Jasmine and I were planning for this lesson, we felt that a large component in leadership development is to identify the reasons why you are a certain type of leader. What are the underlying aspects that motivate you to lead in a certain way?

Very generally, our dabbling into EI is to help us:

1) identify the motivational factors for why we do the things that we do.

2) How did these factors develop in our lives, and why?

In the quote mentioned above, Sala suggests that people with 'good humour' usually demonstrate higher emotional intelligence. She also says that increased self-awareness will help to cultivate this sense of 'good humour'.

Now if you were to look at her further findings, her study found that female executives used more humour than male counterparts, but men used more 'put-down' humour (perhaps as a way to "establish or maintain hierarchical status").

So guys!!! Do you use put-down humour? And if so, why?

For everyone: we really do pray that you take time to examine your underlying motivations.

A useful book is called The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero. This is a guy who wanted to understand his motivations so bad that he interviewed every living relative in his family and discovered that there were positive and negative patterns in his life that can be traced to his heritage. He was able to articulate why he acted in certain ways, or was especially tempted by certain things... maybe because it was passed down to him from his heritage.

We challenge you to look at your own life - your family, your work, your church and see how they have shaped your life (for better or worse).

There is also a interesting quiz from the book that may pique your curiosity... just to see how 'emotionally healthy' you are. Go check out the PDF file in the links section.


LEADERSHIP STYLES
Now that we have explained a bit about EI, we hope that puts our leadership styles into perspective. The handout that we gave you listed the following type of leadership styles:

Commanding - 'Do what I tell you'
Authoritative - 'Come with me'
Affiliative - 'People come first'
Democratic - 'What do you think?'
Pacesetting - 'Do as I do, now'
Coaching - 'Try this'

We asked the following questions in regards to these various styles of leadership.

1) What is your own preferred style?
2) What is your actual style?
3) Who are some exemplars of each style?
4) What are some strengths and weaknesses of each style?
5) What are the underlying motives for why you lead in a particular style?
6) What are the positive and negative motivations for your leadership style?

FINAL REMARKS
Hopefully we all understand that one particular style is not always the best. Please don't assume that as a christian, we should not be commanding type of leaders. Another trap would be to assume that we should all be affiliative type of leaders.

We need to understand the context of our leadership in order to determine the 'best' style. This is so we can use different leadership styles (even the ones that feel foreign to us) on different occasions.

Lastly, let's all agree that we should build leadership teams that include members with different leadership styles. Clearly, employing different styles makes sense if we consider the diverse range of key leadership functions.

God bless,