Thanks for reading my blog...

Gotta terminate my blog =)

Busy + Tired

Bee will create another blog when she is free =)

Sounds of silence....

This is what I can do...

Already do my very best to hide...
Acting is the only thing I can do....
Although I am not the best actress, but this all the best I can act...
Sorry if I'm not good in acting.. but I hope it will reduce the worries..
Already so many years..
I tot it already reach the end..
I tot it will change..
I tot it will be good..
I tot everything will be fine...
But..things just never happen as what I tot..
It is not the end...but the beginning..
It never change..and I duno when it will as I hope..
It will never be good and never be fine..
Just don't understand why all these have to be in this way...
Am I not good enuf??
Y don't I deserve happiness just like others do??
When I was kids, I was so curious about so many things...
You told me: "Never knowing is better than knowing it"
Now I understand and I strongly agree..
I wish I never know...
I wish I never grow....
I wish I am still the small girl that fully of curiosity..
Disguise is the best answer I can find and the best thing I can do.

一个人...

对一个身边常常围绕着一堆人的我蛮害怕寂寞的...
不过今天终于鼓起勇气尝试过一个人的生活
终于发现一个人并不可怕
在学校一个人上图书馆, 一个人上电脑室...
一个人发呆, 看报纸...
放学过后原本打算一个人去Midvalley看Jennifer's Body..
可惜买票需要徘很长...(真绍兴..)
哪, 只好随便逛逛吧...
也许上天可怜我吧..今天多数逛街的都是一个人..哈哈!
(心里暗爽1....哈哈哈!)
去Giordano买了件牛仔..发现腰围小了一号... (暗爽2....哈哈!)
过后去MPH...
哇~~~好多书很想买, 很想看...
可惜最想要的那本"Thirteen Reasons Why" 竟然没有货....(已经找了好久, 好多书店, 还是找不到...)
然后就去Guardian...逛了蛮久的...
过后就去买饮料和番薯弹...蛮丰富的茶点.. =)
虽然一个人, 不过过得蛮充实的...

Thanks dear for calling..makes me feel that I am not alone.. =)

50days of Holidays..... Part 3

19th - 25th: Family days in KL & Malacca....

21st: Went to A Farmosa Animal Safari...

Sis also holding tat mini fan coz he really sweat a lots...

I'm holding a mini fan coz boy boy sweat like nobody business...

Watching elephant show.....

After leave A Farmosa, we went to Malacca town. Thought of wanna go there for Nyonya food who knows we stuck on traffic jam for few hours. Only able to eat chicken rice(sumore not the famous one) and get some junk foods in Malacca. A tiring and not so happy day...coz everything not on smooth flow... Pity sis she got to drive for so many hours yet not enjoy much.... The only enjoying thing was the little boy speaking non-stop throughout the journey. I wonder how can a 2 yrs old boy can speak that much. Very very talkative..... Until reach home he still willing to stop... telling my dad story about our journey & all the performance & animals he saw... He had a super memory... he even able to tell my dad all the animals colours...

23rd: Went to 天后宫 & Shopping in MidValley + The Garden

I'm riding PIG without holding...

25th: Leaving.....

Bye Bye er yi, xiao yi, gong gong, po po...I want go back KK lo... Opsss..and also bye bye my cat cat...I will miss u~~

This little boy created lots of joy in our little apartment. He likes to bully me... He gaves me a nickname which we do not know where he learnt from. He used to tell people that "不是小胰, 是小红"! What a LAME name...

50days of Holidays..... Part 2

Back to KL on 9th Sept...

14th Sept: A day with my lovely "sister"

Since so long never see her d, so decided to meet up with her to let her see me coz i know she missed me very much...muahhahaha....

Hmm...treasure every moment with her. She always inspires & motivates me to move forward. Without her motivation, I wonder whether will I still where I am.

To me no matter how much time we have during the gathering, I still feel that time passed very fast...don't u think so?? hmmm~~But I still enjoy the moment we spend together...hehe... A bit 38...muahhahah...jk~~ Ok la..sweet lo....haha... Although juz a lunch and some chat...it means a lot to me =>

Dear Sister: Thanks for everything...!!!

Hmm...this part no photo...forget to take..hehe...nez time will do so...ok sis??? hehe..

50days of Holidays..... Part 1

Human A: wah...50days ar????
Human B: 50days only ar?????
50days? Over already lo....sigh~~
What have I done? Travel a lot but do nothing...

5th Sept - 9th Sept: Sibu trip with buddies...
(Aunty Su, Kang Kang, Helena & Sim Ling)

So excited waiting in LCCT........... non-stop receiving calls & sms from aunty. I guess she more excited than us...muahahah....

The place we sleep, play, "wrestling" & pillow talks for 5days 4 nights.. A very comfortable place ...muahhaha...

Girls possing outside The Ark (cafe & gallery)... A very romantic & nice cafe beside Sg.Rejang

Steamboat lunch...Very delicious o~~~ 2nd time I went to this restaurant

Sakae Night in Jacky's house...

Celebrating SimLing & Helena's b'day in Gay Cafe.... A quite romantic place too..

Baby Oscar...He is very very very cute...

This trip quite happy and relaxing.... I like this kind of travelling because was not very tiring. Get to enjoy every moment with friends... I love this kind of feeling..I wish to have more this type of relaxing travelling with my other groups buddies. A time where you can share, play and care. =) Thanks aunty, kang, helena & simling for giving me this sweet moments...

Release~~~

Recently I found a new way to reduce stress or stop emo-ing..

1) Choose a windy night (recommended after 9pm)
2) Get ready with your car (kancil is not advisable)
2) Find a road with less car (Kesas highway is the best)
3) Wind down your car four windows (if only u hav 4 la..if 2 ma 2 lo..)
4) Switch on your radio -
5) Start your engine and GOOOO~~~~ (recommended: 100 - 140km/h)
6) Enjoy the journey with a blank memory =)

p/s: It is a dangerous act. Not highly recommended but may try if u really stress out.

tHis is WhO i aM, I GuEsS!!

I love this song & the MV...

mY LiFe

A week that will decide my Life

May God Bless

Hope everything will be fine

也许。。。。。

希望。。。。。。。

一定会没事的。。。。。。。

Its over..its over...YEAH~~~~

Finally, the tough time is over...
tHe 3 months time were so tough for me..
I think i cant go through those tough time without all my dearest angels...

May (my 2nd sis): She is the person that i would like to thank the most. In this 3months she was so considerate and concern about me. She tried very hard to speak to me everyday when i am back from work. Everyday I come back with bad mood but speak to her makes me feel good. She is the one who did most of the house chores because she knew that I am very busy. I'm so touch because she did not voice out any dissatisfaction. You think she very free? Nope she even more stressful than me but she is so 伟大 because she knew that I'm still fresh in working life. She tried her best to make me feel good in this 3 months. Thanks my dearest sis..love you always!!

Mummy: Mum was very sad seeing me working in such a suffering situation. Everytime she will call to make sure that I had my meal and I am doing well. She told me that she cant do anything to help me besides sending me concern through the phone. I feel like bursting out everytime when I chat with her in the phone. I told her lots of white lies to make her feel comfort. Forgive me for my white lies..

Dad: I knew that he was very sad although he never tells and never shows. There were many unlucky things happened during the starting of internship. So, he gets me a lucky ring. He told me that the ring will bring me good luck. I was so happy and touch. I bring the ring everywhere I go. Thanks Dad!

Sis & Bro: Thanks for calling keep concerning from time to time. Sorry for being too emotional sometimes. I am so touch because I being pampered in this few months. The love from u guys give me the courage to hang there and move on.

PB: Thanks for the lunch, thanks for the card and thanks for the call. Thanks for always be there for me when I'm weak & lost. You gave me courage to move forward in these 3 months.

Adele & Juju & My fruit friends: Thanks for always be there to listen to me and share with me. I feel so lucky to have u gals with me. Love you gals & missing u gals lots.

Py6: Thanks thanks thanks. They always listen to my complaint. Always have tea with me.. Thanks to all esp lai ma..she always 24-7 on call. No matter when and what time i call her..she always there for me. She is the one i meet the most in this 3 months. Pity her ears..muahaha..I scared some of them once in K-box (coz i just cant control myself)...muahah..a bit "pai sei"..haha..I miss our class very much..

Thank God I have so many people there to care for me. I am so grateful. Thanks thanks thanks.

A book that inspired me: The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch

感恩.....

我感恩，感恩父母，感恩生活，感恩朋友，感恩大自然，
每天, 以一颗感动的心去承接生活中的一切.
我感恩...
感恩伤害我的人，因为他磨练了我的意志；
感恩欺骗我的人, 因为他增进了我的见识；
感恩遗弃我的人, 因为他教导了我应自立；
感恩绊倒我的人，因为他强化了我的能力；
感恩斥责我的人，因为他助长了我的智慧；
感恩藐视我的人，因为他觉醒了我的自尊；
感恩父母给了我生命和无私的爱, 一路的悉心栽培，对我们不舍不弃的教养之恩；
感恩老师给了我们知识和看世界的眼睛，耐心地谆谆教诲，让我的生命不停的成长增值；
感恩朋友给了我友谊和支持;
感恩完美给了我信任和展示自己能力的机会;
感恩亲朋好友的成就,让他们活更有意义, 也让他们从中了解到他们的一路走来,给我们对生活更多的启发以及鼓励;
感恩我们可以遇到不同的人，事物环境，让我们有机会通过不同的感受与生命成长；
感恩生活所给予我们的一切,虽然并不全都是美满和幸福;
感恩天空大地,给我提供了一个施展的舞台;
感恩太阳星星月亮，与我一起迎接每一个黎明和黄昏；
感恩士农工商为国家带来经济与发展，造就了创业机会；
感恩衣食住行方面的一切都很足够，让我们可以快乐且安逸地生活；
感恩我们住的社会国家，让我们享有一个温馨家园；
感恩我爱的人和爱我的人，使我的生命不再孤单；
感恩鲜花的绽放、 绿草的如茵、鸟儿的歌唱，让我拥有了美丽又充满生机的世界;
感恩日升,让我在白日的光辉中有明亮的心情;
感恩日落,让我在喧嚣疲惫过后有静夜可依靠;
感恩快乐，让我幸福地绽开笑容，美好地生活着；
感恩伤痛,让我学会了坚忍,也练就了我释怀生命之起落的本能;
感恩过着幸运的每一天，远离疾病缠身，远离烦恼，过得更充实，更自在；
感恩我们都能走向圆满生命旅程，不断培养爱心，感恩，诚恳，积极，主动；
感恩拥有健康的身心灵，用正面的思想与精力，帮助社会 走向温馨和谐之道；
感恩正信信仰培养正确人生观，让我们在彷徨时不会放弃自我、不会乱了脚步；
感恩愿意让自己生命成长，奉献他人，给人快乐，带给周围环境正面的能量；
感恩有你,尽管远隔千里,可你寒冬里也给我温暖的心怀;
感恩关怀，生命因你而多了充实与清新；
感恩世界有爱，让人间美满和温馨。
感恩……………

最幸福的我~~

Present...card.....

So surprise today... with present & card... my birthday?? no wor.. christmas?? still long way to go wor...hehe..Very happy and touch with all the surprises...Today got 2 surprises from 2 people..my favourite colour bracelet and a special card...Thanks to YOU & YOU... da supports from YOU both bring rainbow to my rainy dayS...bring sunshines to the darknest... bring surprises to de toughest time.. Millions of thanks.. with de supports from YOU & YOU give me the courage to move on, give me the energy to stand up again... no matter what, I will move on and stay tough... will never disappoint YOU both.. 突然觉得自己好幸福哦~~~ 谢谢最敬爱的两位~~ 感恩!!

有了您和您的关心和鼓励美仪一定会坚强, 一定会加油!!!

幸福的路

这里我不会留太久

早就想好要走的路

全心付出不怕苦去找幸福

我看见在不远处

* 一路庆幸贵人帮助

一路也有人劝退出

托你的福我不哭不怕辛苦

眼泪于事无助

自己走这一段路

如果我孤独别只为我哭

给我你一句祝福

这一条路是未知数

没有人拥有地图

我明白现在自己身在何处

我很在乎走这条路

有天能找到幸福

脸上每个表情都可以回顾

都有我的故事

我会找到幸福

等哪天为我欢呼

Will I????

I need a place....

I need a place.....
I need a place to...
I need a place...
I really need a place.....
I need a place...
I need a place....
I need a place......
I need a place........
I need a place...........
Where can I go???

Another 12weeks to go..

Very very suffering..
Mentally, physically...
Seriously I duno how long I still can stand with it...
How long will those challenges last??
我真的累了...
不知道该如何做....
心灵上快要撐不住了....

A clip that I LOVE ^_^

I like this video clip very much..

I would like to dedicate this to all my lovely friends...

Wat a "suay suay" day... suay from top to bottom...

Today really really very bad luck...
wat a day...*cry*

Guess wat...my pants torn in office...

I oso duno when it torn..shit shit...

My new pants...stupid SEED...

Nez time won't buy SEED anymore...

nevermind..try to fix it lo...ah bo how wor...

Then today need to stay in office til 9pm sumore...

Sigh...nvr mind la..learn more ma...

9.20pm...finally..can go bck d...so happy..

Yea..can go bck d...can go bck d....

So damn tired....

But....

When I get into the car...

I saw my petrol meter...wat???

Need to go petrol station..sigh....very tired eh...

ok lo...so tmr don't have to be so rush...

So..go..go pump petrol...

While I put the petrol gun in the tank...

I pressed, guess wat???

Wat??? Y black color wan???

Oh SHITTTTT....is DIESEL...wat da F**K...

Immediately i pull the gun out & the DIESEL splash on me...

On my hands, my clothes, my neck, my legs, my BAG...

SSSSHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT......

I want to go toilet & wash...the toilet is so far & dark...

The petrol station sumore no ppl...

Aiksss..no choice d...need to go wash oso..

Go inside..the toilet..dont hav anything...

Only very few water....the water very small...

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF........

Nevermind...tissue...

Wah.. my whole body..whole car..

So nice with DIESEL brand aroma....

Come back...no space for parking...need to round & round...

Reach home oso around 10.30pm d...

A DAY THAT FULL OF BAD LUCK....

*CRy*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

bE yOurSelF??

Always hear people saying: "Be Yourself"
What does that means?
Is everyone being themselves?
How often a person life is being themselves?
How many people actually being real to their surrounding?
I guess is quite difficult...

Every word you going to says,
- need to re-consider
- need to modify so that sounds nice to others (but not ourself)
After modified, is that still the message that we would like to convey?
After modified, is that still the voice from the real us? (from heart or from brain?)
After modified, those words are just like gone through plastic surgery..
So nice, so perfect & so not original!!!

Every action you going to take,
- need to consider about others' feelings
- need to predict what will be the consequences
After so much consideration, haha..sometimes the action might be cancelled..
Action might be fiction :)

So......

How can a person be themselve?
How can a person be real?
How can a person be original?

And....

How can we know that a person actually being themselve?
How can we know that a person being real?
How can we know a person being original?

But....

This doesn't mean that we can be
- self-centered
- ego
- selfish
*those are the words that I used to be labelled

BeYourSelf,
doesn't mean that you can take over others' rights
doesn't mean that you control over others

It means that you can have freedom but not affecting others
Because, there are something called:
- lines
- borderlines
- limits

Is it easy to BE YOURSELF?
haha...will be funniest joke, humorous quote..

Is Life easy?
Easy life is??

Haha...That's Life..

Future? Career? What's that? Sounds so far... :P

Yesterday sis suddenly post me a question:

Eh..you how old already har? 23 ar? Wah..
You havent start your career hor?
But you 23 already ler....
Frankly say, I can't see YOUR FUTURE.
I have no idea what can you do in future...
Everyone in family already achieved something at da age of yours..

Omg..what should i answer then?
What should my answer be?
So..conversation juz end in with silence..
Muahahha...

Hmm..you think i never think of that meh?
I also alwiz ask myself ma..
And also alwiz compare myself with my sisters..

Eldest sis, start her career at de age of 17...
Start with genaral clerk..
From PG -> KL -> Sabah -> PG -> KL
Working in the same company for more than a decade
From general clerk -> manager
From Rm450 -> rm****
What I salute her da most is her 90% salary goes to family
She is a best daughter, best sister, best wife, best mother..
She never fails to call each of da family members everyweek even after she get married
I'm da one who got the most call from her..

2nd sis, start work at de age of 18..(if not mistaken or even younger)
She start her career as a part-time designer
She designed children's clothes
After she get her job as artwork designer in a carton box com,
she still con't her part-time designer job
She in da carton box com also for almost a decade..
From artwork designer -> salesperson -> salesmanager -> director
She is the best worker (i guess) & also a top salesperson
With her passion & enthusiastic she now considered a successful person
*those who is sales line will understand how hard she have to work for it

3rd sis, start her career at de age of 19th..
Started her 1st job at S'pore Airline..She works in airline for 8years...She got to travel around the world...She got almost everything that she wants..(by herself). She have all the branded stuffs..LV, BV, Gucci, MiuMiu & what ever that you can name it..She got her degree while working..She's pretty, she is intelligent, she hav good sense of fashionCan consider that she very successful because she hav got what she want

Isn't those are what we wish to achieve in our life?See..during my age they already achieved so many things..But..me? aiks...Career? Future? Is it going to Uni is wasting time? Most of my friends(who did badly in their academic) already start developing their career. Me?? A distance from their achievement...

Sigh.....What will be..Will be...

明天孩有希望 - Tomorrow

小小的眼光, 失去了光忙

即使小小的手掌也有权飞翔

大大的梦想, 失去了力量

哪儿大大的肩膀温暖他心房

* 明天孩子们会有希望

会长出耀眼的翅膀

朝着那温暖的风和光

轻轻地飞扬

The world we live in can do with giving

A child today is a child of our tomorrow

I've seen the children who have been broken

By wars and hunger and natural disaster

So Broken....

When tomorrow comes we must have hope

We must reach out to every single child

When tomorrow comes we spread our love

And make it a better day..

生活会有悲和喜

We've gotta pray and do our best

只要伸出我们的手

To bring you a better tomorrow

* 明天孩子们会有希望

会长出耀眼的翅膀

When tomorrow comes we spread our love

And make it a better day

Repeat*

Let's join Famine 30

22nd & 23rd August 2009

You've Got The POWER!!!

没有了我的存在你会不会比较快乐?

对你,我觉得越来越陌生..
每次都提醒自己一定要爱你
只能记得你的好...
只能记得我们快乐的回忆..

因为我的一切都是你给我的....
第一次上学....是你带的..
第一次坐校车...是你带的..
第一次的功课...是你教的...
第一个手机...是你给的...
第一架手提电脑...是你给的...
第一个mp3...是你给的...
还有好多好多的第一次都是你给我的...
好多好多的美好回忆都是和你一起度过的...
好多好多的事情都是你教的...
每次都是有求必应..
永不对我说不...
如果没有你...
也不会有今天的我....
我真的觉得好幸福....

不过.....

Things never like they were before...

我真的很不明白...
为什么事情会变成这样...
为什么你一直针对我...
为什么你总是"话中有话"...
我真的不介意让步....
难到我做错了什么吗?
我真的累了....
真的不希望再这样下去....

可不可以不要再这样下去了???
Tears are always the byproduct of our communication...
I duno how you feel..But..I'm seriously hurt...

礼物 --- GIFT

Congrats....

Congrats...
To those who able to get a partner from the prom..
To those who start to light up the fire.. (火花) ^^
To those who started to get rid of single life...
To those who already make the move... hehehe...

But so sad..coz not me..
muahahaha...

Best wishes to ALL of you...

Starry Starry Night....

A night for every psychology stars...

A night to enhance relationship....

Objectives of Starry Starry night.

Everything started since Oct 2008...

Planning...

Y2S2..very free...most of the free time were used to plan for it..

Starts by asking around, planning & searching for info...

Feedback from people during that time:

- " I don't think so you all can make it..coz is such a big event"

- " Har...so expensive..."

- " Why make it so early? "

- " Not easy ler.."

- " Only PY6 with all the girls..can you all make it??"

Y2S3...

With 6 subjects, 8 assignments, 1 FYP...

You think u all can make it???

No matter what..things still have to go on...

Planning:

Venue -- tropicana -> armada -> crystal crown -> bungalow house -> TROPICANA.

Budget: okok -> lack -> more

Participants: 70 -> 40 -> 50 -> 70 -> 80 -> 100++

Problems: Sure!!!

From time to time..

Committee members non-stop marketing & promoting..

Received negative comments
Received passive responds

Will starry starry night turns to scary scary night??

The week come...

One last week to prepare...

The "gan cheong-ness" come...

Stars, backdrop, banner, gifts, souvenir, games...bla bla bla..

Go tropicana see see, get measurement, make payment....

Go here & there to get all the stuffs...

Search for stuffs within the budget...

Not only that...everything must be meaningful enough..

So..here come time to challenge everyone's creativity

One day before PROM...rehearsal..PC032

18th April 2009.... is the day....8.30am..

Before....

Before...

After....

Before....

After....

Before...

After....

1.30pm.... Left me, peiqi & ah mon..

2.00pm...Is lunch time... In The Palm..

No mood to eat..so me & ah mon plan to take very light food. Each person a curry puff...

Juz there to taste the ICE DRINK & enjoy the AIR-COND...

Coz we were so sticky & sweating all the way... (hot like hell...)

3.00pm....

Come out with the opening ceremony idea...

Quite satisfy with the idea..

Is it an impressive one???

4.00pm....

Me & peiqi suppose to get prepare for ourself...

But... Due to some probs..need to delay...

Need to do run down for the program..

So..delay it to 5pm...

7.30pm..suppose to start...

But... Due to some probs..need to delay again...

7.45pm...Finally..

The PROM start....

11.00pm... tHe End...

Well done everybody... A successful one...

Thanks to all the committees for de hard work...

I guess our efforts worth it...

Special thanks to

Chang Pei Qi

Tan Sim Ai

Vyronica Pang

Kang Mishel

See Yeu Nuoh

Ng Siew Mun

Wong Bee Chin

Wong Hui Yi

Lin Siew Mun

Kamini Diana

Kogilavaani

Deepa Jaia

Yu Lee Lee

Tan Siew Sin

Shyam

Kevin

Keith

Kah Liang

Meng Chuan

Alfred

Eddie

Ching Sik

Kah Ching

Elson

And those who I forget to mention...

----THANK YOU----

Hurt人不用本..Is that YOU??

Admit,
I really having difficulty in communicating with you..
I guess is getting worse...
I start to realize that I don't know how to communicate with you..
Everytime we talk, muz end up with arguement.
Not only once or twice, but everytime.
Our conversation alwiz start with "HI"
End up with, "okok, fine.."
Sometimes miss you so much & thinking of calling juz to ask "how are you"
But, end up getting hurt.. Is that what I deserve?
With other people, I can juz ignore them.
But we are destined to be together.. I can't juz ignore you!
Everytime I'm da one who make a concession..
Am I destined to be da one?
When will be your turn?
I'm tired...
I won't blame them for side you everytime..
Coz to them, I'm "stronger"....
I'm not as fragile as you...
But in fact...do they know?
Everytime you make fun of me..
I don't mind, coz i know it can make you laugh...
But, pls understand... human have feelings..
Everything have its limits...
You can scold me & comment on me...
But pls, stop the sarcasm.
I'm juz a normal human with a fragile spirit.

In Facts...

I tot I'm very good in dealing with kids,
In fact..I'm not..I'm extremly not... :(

Today went to rumah hopes to complete our child assignment
Although the kids there not very naughty,
but still very difficult to control...sigh~~~

The kids there are very active...
Having difficulty in calming them down..
With my sudden ideas & leading,
hope it never offence anyone of you gals..
I'm here to apologize if I'm too lousy or too harsh in giving commands.

I'm not as good as I think I can be in dealing with kids.
So...should I con't with my child plan??
Should I con't with plan towards child field??

Future..Is what you decide~~

AFTER

*

*

*

*

Playing

*

Dreaming

*

Thinking

*

Wondering

*

Pondering

*

*

*

Bee's Life is being take charge ^^

Is time to be serious...

Is time to move forward...

Decided to choose Hurray is my 1st step

A challenge to myself...

2nd: train myself to me more independent

I'm too dependent over the 23years...

3rd: Responsible

Learn & understand RESPONSIBILITY..

hmm.. tats all 1st... how long will i take to see the results??

Hope this 3 goals can stay in my long-term memory

Not juz write here & forget there...

*

*

FUTURE IS WHAT YOU DECIDE

&

LIFE IS HOW YOU DESIGN

who should I TRUST?

Suddenly feel that no one can be trust
including ME, myself...
Being betray? Nope..
Cheat by people? Nope...
Seeing people being cheated? Nope..
THEN.....
I also dunno..maybe because..
I think myself is TRUSTLESS...
Suddenly feel that the world is so scary...
Having anxiety on trusting anyone..
Who should I trust?
Who can I trust?
But no worry..i guess without TRUST..

Life still able to go on...

小酒窝

Finally...I'm able to make decision..hehe..

Today Ms.LLL was placing us for the internship things...
While waiting for my turn..was so nervous & sweating..hehe..
One by one..one by one..wah..so nervous eh..
Thinking: where will she place me ler?? aikss...worry worry..
Before that, keep asking my frenz..should i go cyber care or hurray??
Where should I choose to go??? where should i go???
Seriously no idea at all..aikss...why so indecisive??
TAN BEE YEE... 23 yrs old d...no longer baby girl..
Ok..well..
Then suddenly Ms.LLL annouce..Hurray..then I pause for a while..
Should I go?? should I go???
Kang kang, vyro, aiai, mun mun keep asking me..want or not? want or not??
4 of them asking at the same time..wah lau..tat time so "luan" eh...
Kang Kang: "Ah bee...try la..u really duwan meh??"
Vyro: "Ah bee..u duwan meh?? later no more better place d ler..." (with her expression which more "gan cheong" than me..muahahha)
Aiai: "You duwan meh? duwan meh??"
Suddenly.....
MunMun (shouted) : "Ms.LL..."
Then with their supports & own courages...I raise up my hand...
Bee: "Ms, I wan go Hurray..."
Wah lau.. Ah bee make decision..I make decision..
Finally... Nex day need to go for interview...
Very da "gan cheong"..aikss...
Thanks friends for de supports & de wishes...
At that situation..really can see that MY BUDDIES r more "gan cheong" than me...
muahhahaha....

Let Me Go Home~~~ I'm just too far..from where YOU ALL are...

I want to go back hometown...

Miss my hometown a lotzzzz...

Especially da foods...

So hungry... ~>.<~

I miss you Mummy...

I miss you Dad...

I miss you Ah Kong... (seriously miss you)

I miss you Boy Boy

I miss you Little Joanne

I miss you Yvonne

(with their laughter.. no sadness in the world)

I want to go HOME...

Let me go home~~

I'm just too far...

from where you are..

Let me go HOME

Fail fail fail...

I realize that i'm really a failure...
Always fail in whatever i did..
Today...really such a failing day..
But, everything is accumulate from the past...
Is the punishment of PROCRASTINATION..
Is wat u got from what you did....

Today..handed in 2 lousy assignments...
which i think lousiest assign among all the assign tat i had done..
today did the lousiest presentation...
I guess my 1st presentation experience still better than this...
Today..again.. i guess i created the lousiest impression to the world...

Just because today...
I lost everything tat i build for so many years..
I lost confident towards myself...
I lost trust towards myself...
I lost motivation towards myself...
I even hate myself...

Hate myself so much for not moving forward..
Everytime back to the same situation..
Never learn....
What is the meaning of 23 years of life???

What A day....

You're so nice....

Friday 13th, is a good day or bad day???

Many good news for this day.....so reliability is not there..hehe..

From my observation for a few times...

I found that you r really not what I think...

You're really such a nice person...

Sorry for putting my judgement so fast...

I would like to take back my words...

Now I know why God place us together...

Thanks & I will appreciate you more in future...

You're bad luck will disappear soon & wish that Good Luck will be with YOU^^

Happy Friday & Happy White Valentine Eve to everyone I love... *xoxo*

Miracle...

黑夜里的彩虹....

如果彩虹能够在晚上出现多好....

那, 夜晚就会非常美丽...

也许这想法很幼稚,

不过真的很希望这幼稚的想法能够成真... ^^

Just like what Ms. Teoh Pow Yew (the speaker for creative mindset for excellence) said, nothing is impossible, one of the rules to achieve creativity...

No one willing to notice a daylight rainbow.. what if rainbow appears during night time?

I guess more people will pay attention on that.. hehe..^^

你想要的, 我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的, 却又不是你想要拥有的.......

---Check on Checking----

Rainy day again....

Every time Ms.Li li's class sure rain de....muahaha...

Today Ms.Lili mentioned that 1 thing that she like about our batch is: We are passionate with our course.

Then suddenly a question mark appear on my head.. "?"

I think for a while.....

Ques: Do I belongs to that "Passionate Group?"
Ans: Ya, I'm very keen in studying psychology...I'm very interested in every single subject...
Ques: So? Then you automatically belongs to that group! But, what hav you done to show yur passions?
Ans: Erm...erm...study lo..
Ques: Study? Think deeply, everytime u study is to get better result or u really want to learn?
Ans: Erm.... hmm...Good question....
Ques: If u really want to learn, seriously keen... then there shouldn't be any complaint on assignments & homework & exam & there shouldn't be any stress...coz it is yur interest.
Ans: Hmm...then I know what to do..hehe... ^^

I'm also not very sure what I've done for this 2years... Do I fulfill the responsibility as a student? Do I get what I want? Do I know what I want? Where are my goals? What is my objective? Izzit a little bit late to think those questions? Hmm.. I guess this is the pros & also cons of being the youngest in the family. Play too much... Is time to be serious... (but sometime i really very serious eh...serious in playing...muahahhhaaa...) Gambatae~~~

四月的作品..好听到~~~~

歌名：飞.小强
背景音乐：红蜻蜓
歌词：四月 (kei kor)

书啊书啊
(shu ah shu ah)
看那厚厚书本堆在满遍书桌
(kan na hou hou shu ben dui zai man pian shu zuo)
眼泪在眼中 不敢流出的冲动
(yan lei zai yan zhong bu gan liu chu de chong dong)
书桌是晚上的床 电脑就是我的伙伴
(shu zuo shi wan shang de chuang dian nao jiu shi wo de huo ban)
熬夜是生活~~
(au ye shi sheng huo~~)

我们的生活也像恐怖电影里面的梦
(wo men de sheng huo ye xiang kong bu dian ying li mian de meng)
天天在惊吓我们 准时交功课
(tian tian zhai jing xia wo me zhun si jiao gong ke)
旁边的小强就是我现在的小小英雄
(pang bian de xiao qiang jiu shi wo xian zhai de xiao xiao ying xiong)
多希望有一天能和它一起飞
(duo xi wang you yi tian neng he ta yi qi fei)

当功课越来越多 唱k shopping 越来越少
(dang gong ke yue lai yue duo chang k shopping yue lai yue shao)
我知道我已慢慢的长大了
(wo zhi dao wo yi man man de zhang da liao)
顽强的小强曾几何时
(wan qiang de xiao qiang cheng ji he shi)
也在我的夜里变得越来越多了
(ye zai wo de ye li bian de yue lai yue duo liao)

我们~~~~都已经长大
(wo men~~~~dou yi jin zhang da)
好多书 正在堆
(hao duo shu zhen zai dui)
就像童年 看到的哥哥的书桌
(jiu xiang tong nian kan dao de ge ge de shu zuo)

我们~~~都已经长大
(wo men~~~dou yi jing zhang da)
看到书 就想飞
(kan dao shu jiu xiang fei)
就像此刻 看到的会飞的小强
(jiu xiang ci ke kan dao de hui fei de xiao qiang)

p/s: this song was wrote by our PY6 class rep, kei kor...such a talented person..muahaha..

A day at StAtiOn ONE

Yesterday after attending the creative mindset for excellent talk, we (monmon, aiai, nono & beebee) spending whole day in station one....

Doing what there?? Do assignment lo.... we good students ma..hehe...

But end up? Playing web cam there..muahahha... so "38" never use webcam b4..muahaha...

The results.....

So?? tasks failed... no assignment completed...muahahha...

Wednesday

-RAINY DAY-

FYP title accepted by supervisor

TitLe: Colour Preferences & Depression Level

Friday going to submit d, now only on title part...

Can see that how lousy I am

But no matter what, I will do my best to be the best!!

Everyday raining in KL...but why still no RAINBOW appear?

Last time when stay in Vista Komenwel,

almost can see rainbow everyday during rainy day.

At hometown, JURU...also always can see rainbow...

Thats why last time I always feel tat rainbow follow me wherever i go

But now...sigh~~~

I miss YOU-RAINBOW....

How nice if rainbow appear tomoro ^^

L. I . E

Today I tell a L. I. E.....

Feel so sorry & very guilty of doing that...

Can that be consider as a white lie???

Really feel very uneasy after lying...

But... sigh.....

I really hope that time can reverse...

If time can reverse... I for sure will never tell that...

Please forgive me... I really feel very bad for lying you....

You r so kind to me & I lied to you~~~

Really seriously extremly B.A.D.....

I hope you will know & understand my situtation that I'm not willing to do so to YOU...

SORRY my dearest~~ so so SORRY.....

God, please forgive me & bless the person that I lied to~~

快要崩溃了啦......Collapsing soon!!

没时间, 我没时间....

why so many things need to be done?

why so many things come in a time?

why i so busy? yet still duno what I'm busying?

Procastination--> 活该... 难道不明白什么是:

"一寸光阴, 一寸金" 吗?

难道老师没教你: "今日事, 今日毕" 吗?

都忘了吗? 所有的麻烦都是自己拿来的...

So..don't blame, don't ask, don't depress....

He said: STOP --> CHECK ---> CHANGE

so??? CHANGE la....

很久没有看见彩虹了....

真的很希望能再看到彩虹....

真的真的很希望它能够再次出现为我打气, 为我加油!!!

Should I hate U???

I tried to neutralize my feelings & emotions towards you

But..Y u want force me to hates you???

I ask myself not to hate you & try to develop more positive feelings towards you...

But you really disappoint me..

By the way, I just duno the real you..so i think is very unfair to judge u by myself.

Please prove to me that I'm wrong...coz i really duwan to hate you.

I guess there muz be a reason for this to happen...

Maybe God wants to introduce the real you to me...

Maybe God wants me to know that you r not the one who I think you r...

Maybe you're the Angel send by God.

Can't Live without YOU

I can't live~~~

If living is without YOU~~~~~~~

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Coffee... Is the most delicious drink in da world..

My favourite drink...COFFEE

A coffee a day, keeps your bad moods away

Tried thousand cups of coffee,

but..

the taste of coffee that YOU make still the BEST.

The best Cappuccino I ever taste

hope to taste it again..but...

带我走........

平平淡淡

新一年, 新希望, 新感觉.

不知道为什么越来越不懂得什么是感觉,

强烈的感觉因时间的改变而变得淡淡的...

特别的开心, 特别的伤心, 特别的感动 不再出现在我的生命中...

今天在回家的路上突然发觉为什么最近都没有什么感觉?

也许人成长了, 角度不同了, 感觉也淡了...

不过这样也好,

相逢不会太开心, 分离不会太伤心

相爱不会太感动, 分手不会太难过....

所以朋友们,

不要认为没有笑容的我是不开心的

也不要认为安静的我是有事的....

人也有他累的时候, 人也有不想说话的时侯,

你们的谅解是我的快乐, 平平淡淡是我想要的生活.

I'm nightmare QUEEN..

New year....new beginning.....BUT.....

Starting from first night of CNy keep on haunted by nightmares.... Very da scary...

Feelings...

Started from 1st day of CNY....Feeling very uneasy... alwiz think that something might happen...

Instinct.... ( Hopefully is juz instinct & not reality)

Hope that everything will be fine...

Home Alone = Nightmare = Scary

Conclusion: No HOME ALONE!!!!! (but still got to...no choice.. T_T)

hAppY cHinEse 牛 yeAR!!!

sPeeChLess LiFe.....

What else can I use to represent current life beside TIRED? I guess no other term that could fit my current living. T_T

Only 3rd day of 2nd week already tired like hell.. Travelling, class, replacement, assignments, people...uncountable things that got to deal with.... I can't say that is a busy life (coz i stil hav time to blog here..muahaha..) but juz duno why..is so damn tired..sigh!!!

Almost everyday need to be in UTAR from 7.30-5.00 pm...(but i really prefer stay in utar...a place which I like very much..) One thing tat everyone hate the most is got to move from PG to PC & to PC to PG almost everyday... the worst day is thursday.. got to move frm PG-PC-PG-PC (by the end of sem, every body can slim down at least 3kg..i guess..)

Everyday have to start my journey by 6.30am or else will stuck in traffic... sigh... way back even more worst...no matter what time u go back will still stuck in jam... arrrrgggghhh... coz due CNY celebration..everyone moving to midvalley using federal highway...sigh... thinking of using LDP highway... alamak..LDP highway tat people usually use to Subang & 1U...lagi jam...*cry* !!! From 20mins journey have to add another one more hour only can reach home.. TIRED!!!!

How nice if got people fetch me go & back from uni..muahhaha...

Is really very tiring...

Due to CNY coming soon.. i guess everyone also as busy & as tired as everyone do... since everyone also that tired, then should be predicted that everyone have to bear with their own tiredness & take care of themselve rite? But..some people will alwiz never understand.. they alwiz think that as a STUDENT must be very free, go & back from class...then got nothing to do already...assignments? exam? juz allow to be view as a simple task... 6 subjects? so what!!STUDENT will have no right to feel stress... especially PSYCHOLOGY student.. must be concern & considerate about others, must feel no stress, have no rights to complain.. is that TRUE????????? then everyone should study psychology...coz after studying..they can be GOD!!

See..how free is bumblebee...she still have time & energy to complain here!! Somebody pls step into her bee hive & look at what she is doing, feel how she feels!!! but i guess no one will bother to do that & don't even care... coz BEE alwiz being view as a tiny insect in the world.

A day with KIDS

Today again went to the rumah kebajikan in Cheras. This time we drive there instead of taking bus... there r 18 of us & most of us r psychology students. Our theme for this time is "Gong Xi Fatt Cai". We go there to play & teach da children some art work & sing song. This time only have 20++ children with us because some of them had gone back & some have to attend classes. It is sad to see all the scars & burn marks on the children bodies & faces. I wonder why their parents have such heart to do so...

Some of the da children were de existing children & so surprise that they still remember what we teach them when we went da previous time (Nov, 2008). So happy to see them playing & laughing all the way... After all de activities from 9am-12.30pm & now is time to say good bye.. so sad...

After that we went to another room which contains of 55 kids from age around 2-4yrs old. We were there to help the kids to bath & wear clothes & bring them to bed. The whole process was like a machinery process. All the kids will sit outside the bathroom & wait for their turn to take bath. After taking bath, only lady will incharge to dry them up with towel, then next they will move to another lady to wear pampers & put powder for them & next they will move to another lady to wear clothes for them & finally they go bed themselves. They were like a robot that being conditions.

Among de 55 kids, there is a chinese boy age around 2+ which just send to the centre last week. He tend to sit aside & refuse to talk. A group of us try to make him talk & bring him to bath. After bath I help him to wear his clothes & after that, he walk back to where he sit juz now & refuse to go to bed. According to the care givers, they have no idea how to communicate with him.

While he sitting there, I try to talk to him & bring him to bed. I was so sad to see tears in his eyes. At 1st what ever I told him or ask him..he only say "bu yao". When other try to touch him, he started to cry. After a while I talk to him, he come & hug me & sit on my leg. Me & Xiao Fang try to persuade him & bring him to bed & make him sleep.

We try to run when we saw that he already sleep. But I fail to do so coz he awake again & look at me...therefore I sit back there but Xiao Fang already left. I juz "bu ren xin" run away when I saw him look at me... I felt that he juz like my own kids. I wait till he fall into deep sleep then only I go... Was so sad to leave him.. I really hope that I can bring him home with me.. No one there understand what he trying to say & he don't seems to understand what r they trying to say to him coz he only speaks mandrin while all the caregivers r malays.

I wonder how is he now... I was so sad & feel like crying when da time he hug me & juz don't let me go & don't let others to touch him. From refuse to talk, he try to talk. From juz saying "bu yao", he try to say other things to me. From refuse to get close with stranger, he hug me. From no reaction to show me his feelings. Seriously miss him a lot... Really hope that I will still have chance to see him on my next visit.

----HiKinG daY-----

Today morning went hiking at KEPONG with a fren. We never meet each other for almost 3 years d... (kind of "gang kak" coz too long dint meet d...hehe) The journey to the place takes about 40mins and we do not have much conversation along d journey.... (duno wat to talk)

We reach there around 7.30am.. then we start to walk.. that place really very nice with all de natural environment & fresh air.. I love that place very much.. coz it is really difficult to find such a place in KL/Sel. That mountain not consider high but quite tough to climb coz lots of challenging "staircase"... From down to up suppose to take only 45mins but we took 1hour to climb up & 45mins to get down...coz i cannot tahan..take a few break..muahahha.... Seriously salute my fren for having good stamina... (although sudah 30yrs old++..muahaha...) Healthy punya lecturer...alwiz play sport with de students... so nice.. da students so "xin fu"....

Hmm...next time should go there more..coz really a good place to go for morning walk... hehe..

hOmE sWeeT hOme~~~~

This time go back hometown really very happy... Dunno why things really never like they were before.. Everyone treated me so nice..hehehe... ( i guess they muz b mizzed me too much..muahahaha..) As usual, having happy time wit my 5 princesses... so happy to see them getting prettier, taller, smarter & more & more cute... I'm juz like super glue to them... alwiz stick to me where ever i go... when the 1st day i reach home.. Yvonne ask me: "阿仪姑姑, 为什么每次妳回来每个人都笑笑和很开心的?" (wah..so happy to hear tat..hehe..) then I answer: "因为我是开心果咯!!" (With her cute voice & innocent look really make my heart melt..so weet...whakakaka...) The happiest moment is help them to prepare things for their school re-open..

Besides that...also had a really good time with Irene... 1month ago when she came to KL, we fight almost everyday...wah..damn angry tat time... but this time really very different...she treated me so nice...muahaha... She never go out with other frenz & only accompany me for this 10days at home... everyday we go makan together, go shopping together, talk jokes, talk non-sense, act weird, play games & watch dvd together... everyday she & Tom (her bf) will find games to play with me... we played "The life Games", "Chor dai di", "Uno card", "Jenga", "Twister"....we play wat ever games that can play at home.. I guess this couple something wrong la.. everytime go out muz ask me to go along... but I insist duwan to follow..muahahha... Go pat thor oso wan to bring me along meh...I'm no longer a small kids la...


Everyday mum cook my fav dishes...so nicee nicee...thanks mummy...


Guess what....guess...I won 4D (2nd prize)..muahahah... but only won RM520... used da money to buy bookshelf & clothes for mummy... and guess again...guess... buy 10pieces of lottery get 8pieces for free..muahaha...

I hope all this will be con't & never end.... thank God for everything... Amitabbha...