Movie : Beyond the Clouds (1995)

Al di là delle nuvole (Italy)
Beyond the Clouds (USA)
Jenseits der Wolken (Germany)
Par-delà les nuages (France)

Beyond the Clouds is a film directed by Michelangelo Antonioni and Wim Wenders (who directed Wings of Desire) released in 1995. This is the last film of Antonioni, who was a brilliant Italian director.

It is composed of four short stories linked by a journey of a film director played by John Malkovich, while thinking of his next film in Europe. The stories take place in Ferrara, Portofino, Aix en Provence and Paris with each story centered on a woman. They are Ines Sastre, Sophie Marceau, Chiara Caselli and Irene Jacob, four of the most beautiful women assembled in one film.

Each story at each end doesn’t explain the reasons by the characters became as such or why they acted that way. I think it invites as to speculate, to wonder why they are what they are.

I would define each story as, 1st – Unfulfilled love over time, 2nd – Meeting a person with Intriguing Personality, 3rd – Chance encounter leading to Infidelity, and 4th – Love at First Sight vs. Divine Love.

Of the four stories, I was struck by the first and last story.

The first story is about a travelling technician Silvano who encountered a roving teacher Carmen (Ines Sastre) while trying to find a hotel to spend the night in a remote town somewhere in Spain. She pointed the technician to a hotel nearby where he stayed for the evening. In the morning, the technician found out that the teacher was also staying the hotel. They had an interesting conversation throughout the day. In the evening, he escorted her to her room and said good night before going to his room. After closing her door, he hinted for the desire to enter her room maybe to have an intimate night together. But he never did. When he woke up in next day, he found out that she had already left.

After three years, they again met and continued their conversation as if time has not passed since they last met. He asked her why she left without saying anything and it was revealed that she was waiting for him to enter her room that night. She showed him to her home were it was revealed to she has been with a man for a year now telling him of a letter that her lover wrote while lamenting that “Words do us good even in writing/ A woman expects them/ She always does”. He left her house but returned immediately and the woman let him in again. They had an intimate moment but before it could be consummated, he left without saying anything.

It was clear that he loves the woman and continues to do so even after he left. Maybe the woman did love him too, hinted by a sign of sadness while watching him leave from her window. The question lingers that even though he loves her, why he not possessed her even though it was hinted that she wanted him to possess her. It may be that he has too much pride in himself or maybe it’s just plain foolishness on his part. We are led to speculate on the matter

Why did he left when? Did the knowledge that she is with someone else deter him from pursuing her even though he loved her immensely? Will he be contended that he just knew her? Is he afraid of what might have been? Was it sacrifice or pride?

I was left to wonder why he did what he did. I’m still wondering…

The last story was about a man who was fascinated with a girl (Irene Jacob) whom he just encountered while holding the door for her as she was leaving the apartment building. He followed her immediately and asked her if he could walk with him. She was heading to a church to attend mass at as nearby church. As he was accompanying her, he told her that he thinks that she is in love and the girl agreed. He assumed that she was in love because she was satisfied and they continued their conversation heading to church. They attended mass, however, he didn’t sit beside her preferring to side by the side of the church. He felt asleep and when he woke, the mass was finished and the girl had already left.

He went outside and tried to find her and caught up with her in the nearby fountain and then accompanied her back to the apartment building where they first met. They continued to talk even as the rain was about to fall. Upon reaching the apartment door building, she hurriedly went up the building to her apartment leaving the man. The man followed her up the stair. As she was about to enter her room, the man revealed that if maybe he could she he again because he was falling in love with her. And the girl said that it could not be so because the next day she will be entering the convent to become a nun. And she closed her door while the man outside dumbstruck of what he just heard.

Could that single meeting constitute as love or just infatuation? What would one feel knowing that the one he fell in love with was not meant for him? How could he react to that kind of answer? It’s human love versus divine love.

These two stories are opposite of each other, the first one didn’t continue a love he could have while the other cannot have the love he wanted. Both stories end in heartache. The stories didn’t mention how each story might have ended up in the future. The first one only implied that he continued to love her and I believe that he did.

Most people would say that we should move on with our lives when we encounter heartaches like finding out that we could never have the person we love or letting the love of our life continue without us to have a better life as I think the character Silvano did. He let he go because he thinks that he is inadequate for her. This is very painful to admit knowing that you’re not good enough for the person you love. However, I think it is even more painful to realize that you can never have the person you love even if you are at your best just like the boy who fell in love with the future nun.

Yes, we should move on but not necessarily lose the feeling for the person we could not have. Sometimes, moving on and letting go doesn’t follow the same path. As what I’ve read in a book, we should hold on the pieces of our broken dreams because they will serve as a reminder of the ideal that we couldn’t achieve. They will serve as our guide in formulating another dream.

I believe that love is a choice and we are free to choose who we love but we could never choose the person who will love us. We could only hope that the person we love feels the same way about us. Even if your stars decree that you’re fated to be together, until the choice is made, it is still nothing.

Make the choice, not because it is easy or is available but because you wanted that choice. Never settle for something, choose the best even if you won’t succeed. Settling for something is a continuous pain to suffer because deep inside you, you know that it is not what you wanted.

Rejection is easier to accept rather than the knowledge that you were just settled for.

Continue searching. Who knows? We may continue a love story from our past or create a new one. We could only hope for the best because we still can’t see anything beyond the clouds.

The Necessity of Accepting Favors

One spring day, long ago, Father called me to go with him to old man Trussell's blacksmith shop. He had left a rake and a hoe to be repaired. And they were ready when we came, fixed like new. Father handed over a silver dollar, but Mr. Trussell refused to take it. "No," he said. "There's no charge for that little job." My Father insisted.

If I should live a thousand years, I'll never forget that blacksmith's reply. "Sid," he said to my father, "can't you let a man do something - just to stretch his soul?"

R. Lee Sharpe

Phase One Initiated

The first step has already been taken. I asked her out. Although her answer is vague. I still want to pursue it. Gotta do what I should have done a long time ago. I enveloped myself with fear that I was hesitant to ask her. I'm still not as confident as before but I have to do this because I like her. I just hope it turns out well.

Don’t Fill Your Eyes With Tears

If you miss one opportunity—don’t fill your eyes with tears. Tears may hide another better opportunity in front of you.” Wipe those eyes and look up—there lies the future.

Christmas Day

It's Christmas Day. Last night, we went to the midnight mass and after that celebrated a little then we all went back to bed. I woke up late and spent the whole day at home watching movies and surfing the net. Today's the day to send with your family.

Merry Christmas

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas
and the
Happiness that this time brings to one and all.

New Additions to the Toy Collection - DC Characters

Here are a few DC Characters that we picked up during sale in the mall.

I've always been a fan of Batman and found his character intriguing and fascinating. A human character who uses his brains to outwit and defeat opponents even super-powered ones. Below is the the version that he appeared in Red Son. In this version, he was Russian. The Red Son was a story set in the USSR and carried a "what if" story had Superman not landed in Smallville and was raised in the Soviet Union.

Batman : Red Son

Joker is one of the best villains ever created for comic books. He is what I can an intelligent crazy man who does most of his evil plans out of fun. Also, he is the perfect opponent of Batman, who is calculated in all his actions, while the Joker is spontaneous.

Bobble-Head Joker

New Addition to the Toy Collection - Cartoon Characters

Poopdeck Pappy & the Sea Hag with Vultures

From the video Game Kingdom Hearts - Kairi and the Witch

New Addition to the Toy Collection - Anime

I've been a fan of anime for a long time especially Yu Yu Hakusho aka Ghost Fighter. I watched every episode of the anime series when it was shown before on local TV (Channel 13) dubbed in Pilipino. I would eagerly go home and watch this anime. Many of my friends and classmates were also fans. So, teh next day we will be discussing how plot of the show and admiring some of the new powers we have discovered on our favorite character.

I bought this toy for my brother's collection about two week ago and was pleased to have bought it at a discounted price. Usually, this toy sells at a much higher price of which I couldn't afford for just a toy. I'm glad I found it ahead of other collectors.

Yu Yu Hakusho - Yusuke aka Eugene (in the Philippines)

I have no idea who this one is but I believe that he is part of the anime Samurai X.

On-going : Christmas Party

As of this moment, we are having our Christmas Party and just finished our dinner. A is currently held right now featuring two stand-up comedians.

I guess I'm not yet attuned to this kind of party here since it is almost three years when I attended this party. So, I decided to go up in our office and surf the internet & blog a little.

Also, I saw the woman that I liked and she looked gorgeous. But silly me, I stilll can't ask her out because my nerves are getting the best out of me. I really wanted to ask her personally rather than just through YM or texting. Oh, I really don't like this part of me. All I can do when she's around is say a few words and smile. Unlike before when we could talk anything under the sun. Now, when I see her, my heart wants to say that "I like her" but my mouth can't say those things.

Well, the only thing for a "torpe" to do was to stand next to her. Trying to muster enough courage to tell her what I feel but couldn't. I'm to discreet to tell her something in public. I hope by the year's end, I could at least ask her out.

Office Party Tomorrow and No Gift Prepared

The Office Christmas Party will be held tomorrow and I still have no gift for the person I picked for the "exchange gifts". I made it a point earlier in the office for everyone to hear that I will not be giving the gift to the person I picked tomorrow evening. Just promised that I will deliver the gift this coming Monday because I plan to by the gift this coming weekend. I'd like to have choices for a nice gift so I'll buy it some place else because I'll be traveling this coming weekend to meet with my friends.

Frasier... I'm Listening

After work, I get home and watch at least 2-3 episodes of the comedy show Frasier. I got a copy of the complete 11 seasons which aired from 1993-2004. I first got acquainted with Frasier when I was watching reruns of Cheers on cable. I enjoyed that show too.

I love watching the show and found myself laughing all the time. The other family members in the house oftentimes doesn't understand why I laugh during the scenes from the show. Oftentimes, when they try to watch it, they don't understand what the characters are talking about. I guess one must have at least up to date with current events and history to understand some of what the characters are saying. Although there are times that I don't understand what they are talking about. It makes me do research on some of their topics to further understand the show.

And it didn't come as a surprise to me when MENSA named Frasier as one of the smartest television show ever created. The writers of the show didn't make the show too mainstream to be understood by all. They kept the show intelligent, as it should be. All the main characters are funny with Frasier and Niles portraying the snobbish elite, Martin and Roz as the everyday persons and Daphne as the out of this world thinker. Let us not forget Eddie, he became quite a character on the show.

I highly recommend watching Frasier to all. Not only will it make you laugh, you will also learn a bit or two about society.

Finally, I Attended The Misa de Gallo

I woke up early this morning and got the chance to attend the Misa de Gallo. The church was packed, even the parking lot. My brother and I arrived just in time before the mass actually started. It was a nice experience. However, it rained right after the communion and the people started to pack the church just to avoid getting wet.

My fears of sleeping during the mass wasn't realized because we were standing the during the whole duration of the mass. I hope I can attend the mass tomorrow.

I Missed the Misa de Gallo

Early this morning was the start of the "Misa de Gallo" and I missed it. My mother texted us yesterday evening that we should attend the dawn mass and my bother and I planned to do so. However, when we woke up it was already 5:00 A.M.. The mass here in our place starts at 4:30 A.M. I was so asleep that I didn't even hear my alarm ringing.

We are planning to attend the next one though, so we asked our father to wake us up if he's awake early next morning. I just hope I won't sleep during the mass like in the previous years..hehe.

Sale! Sale! Everywhere

I have been to the malls recently and its crowded. Went there to buy some stuff but turned around because of the long spiraling line that have been forming around the cashier. Whether, the items are for sold more or less, I never really liked waiting for a very long line. i would rather buy it at its normal price than endure the long lines just save a few pesos. I get tired easily from waiting for something that ain't worth that much.

When I go to the mall, I will only enter the stores that have less people in them. These stores are also selling at a discounted price but they are not famous enough to merit long lines form people. I have experienced before that the best time to buy is the day after Christmas and New Year. People are usually tired from all the celebration so the malls are not that crowded and best of all. Most of the items are still sold at a discounted price.

For those people who love to shop this time, enjoy the moment. It's just not for me.

Own Opinions

I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less values on his own opinions of himself than on the opinion of others.

Marcus Aurelius

Doubting Dylan

In the past week, I began to doubt some of the things that people say around me. Being in the middle of things, i get to hear both sides and they all have a different side to the story. Some try to promote themselves as competent individuals, others spread rumors of others inadequacy while some position themselves as the victims. I don't have monopoly of the truth of all of these matters so I often have the difficulty of determining the truth from the lies.

It has been my recent experience that people praise me for something I am not. They conjure up things that makes me appear somewhat better than everyone else. I am not comfortable with it because it creates a huge room for disappointment and failure. When people put you in a pedestal, you are treated differently because they want to be on your good side. However, being on top, you are expected to be great at what you do and every little mistake you made on top will appear bigger to everyone below.

I have also been a subject of gossips before but now it will be different because because every move I make will be scrutinized and judged differently. Now, every comment or actions I make must be thought out thoroughly or else it might be construed differently from what I meant to say. It is difficult to be critical at others at this point. The hard I have to bear, I can't be the opposition... for now.

Just Arrived

It was a long journey and finally I'm back home. Now, I got time to rest my aching back from all the baggage I have carried. The trip was not as fruitful as I have hoped it would be but it achieved something that was integral for work to be done smoothly : the sense of direction. I just hope that what they learned will not just slip their minds when we get back to work on Monday. Oftentimes, we tend to agree on something just for it to be done with. I hope that will not be the case. We were shown what we can do to be better and the necessary requirement for that are competent individuals who will undertake those task. Maybe in a small sense, some of them felt that they were necessary for improvement even for all their faults. Who knows maybe they will minimize their vices and increase their inputs.

Badmouthing Others to Hide One's Flaws

Now, I am in the middle of a discussion with a group of guys throwing trash at other people's reputations and abilities. This seems add for me because these guys are the one known who are doing undesireable things in their jobs. It makes me wonder why they are doing these badmouthing of other people's abilities, are they doing this to hide their own flaws and make themselves appear noble or what they are saying is the truth. I have no monopoly of the truth but their are some evidences that doesn't give them the right to complain of other people's dirty laundry when they themselves are soiled.

I Have to Wake Up Early

Tomorrow's my scheduled departure for that benchmarking trip for our office. I'll take of early morning so that I can arrived early and deliver something before my flight in the afternoon. Instead of sleeping sound asleep, I am now doing by blog and surfing the Internet. This is usually the case for me when I'm going on a trip. I feel so anxious that I'm wide awake until the wee hours of the morning. Maybe I can sleep while during the trip.

Crying / Llorando

I first encountered this song when I saw the movie "Mulholland Drive" by David Lynch. Such a wonderfully crafted and one of the most difficult movie to understand. In one scene, the two principal actresses viewed a sort of performance in a near empty theater. The singer Rebekah del Rio came and sang "Llorando", the most heartbreaking song that I've ever heard in a movie. But the the catch is I don't understand the song because it was in spanish.

Upon research, I discovered that the song Lorando was the spanish version of the original song "Crying" by Roy Orbison. Upon hearing the song "Crying", I have concluded that this one of the few occassions in which the original song is faithfully rendered in another language with all the emotions intact. Most translated songs just change the lyrics into their another, oftentimes losing its edge.

Just hear the two versions and judge for yourself.


Ray Orbison - Crying



Rebekah Del Río - Lloradano

Away I Go Again

This coming week, I am scheduled to travel again to observe and maybe replicate some things that needs to be changed at the office. To streamline some of the processes to make our work for efficient.

Frankly, I don't really like to travel that much especially when its not on vacation. I get woozy when I travel and I can't sleep well in hotels. I stay up late and wake up early then feeling tired for most of the day.

I just hope that we will learn something from this trip and maybe the journey will be worthwhile.

I have to pack light this time, but got so many things to bring. Maybe a solution on that predicament will arrive later. Just maybe. (sigh)

I Am Complicating A Made Up Decision

I am at a loss for myself. For the past week, I have been hesitating on a decision that was already made up months ago. I just don't know how to react to myself. Maybe this due to my past experiences that leads me to be hesitant on this acting out what I wanted to do and still want to do. It's difficult having yourself as the the hindrance on what you want to do. The outcome of this decision is yet to be decided but what is important that it should be acted upon with the best that I can offer.

High self-confidence is not even an asset of mine when it comes to this situation. It is the one of the few things that I am not good at and fearful of doing throughout my life. The positive and negative aspects of it bothers me. I have to keep asking myself why do I think to far ahead and not concentrate on the present. My mind always wonder on all the possibilities that any of my decisions will result to, whatever they may be. I have to learn to savor the moment and just present myself.

And to complicate this matter even worse, I am not asking why did I make such a decision in the first place. Do I really need to always have a reason for wanting what I want.

Oh, why do I have to complicate my life? (sigh)

When Will I Start It?

Having enrolled for a thesis more than a month ago, I still have no clue on what topic to do. I was supposed to attend a briefing on that matter but I have backed out because of the need to travel again. It was supposed to be a introduction on thesis writing but as I have inquired with my friend who took it before, it is not necessary though because the adviser that you will take will also teach you those stuff. However, my main problem is the topic. With so many choices, the problem is now in the choosing. I have to analyze it out thoroughly because I don't have that much financial capability to launch a large scale research on a subject matter. Maybe, this month I can find an approved topic so that I can start researching and hope to finish it by march.

Think Twice

I been a fan of the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Waterson ever since I laid eyes on it in some newspaper way back then. It's shows philosophical views applied in a comical sense from the mind of Calvin and his beloved tiger, Hobbes.

Here's one to think about:

Winning is as Hard to Deal With as Losing

Sometimes winning is as hard to deal with as losing. It's easy to moon over a lost love - to fantasize over what might have been, secure in the knowledge that it'll never happen - it makes a great excuse for not facing the risks and demands of reality.

Wolverine (Uncanny X-Men No. 183)

Lady Luck Wasn't On My Side

I was so excited and nervous before my recent trip. Anticipating what might happen, what would I say and what would I do. Rehearsing over and over in my mind the things I have to do to tell someone that I like them. But, alas, she couldn't meet with me because of some prior arrangement. Those were valid arrangements because she had planned it out beforehand and I was just trying to, maybe, insert myself in to her schedule. All that trip for nothing. I stayed in there with nothing to do. No plan B. That was it, it was my only goal.

I tried to do it outside my hometown because I don't know if such actions would be done discreetly. Tried to follow her on her vacation. Silly me. But things didn't turn out as planned, as it always is with my affairs of the heart.

God-willing, I hope that one of these days she'll meet with me. Just couldn't picture out her reaction if I asked her for a date. There's still time for me to prepare my nerves if that time comes. Talked to her before but not like this one that I'm about to do. Telling a friend that you liked them and want to be more than friends with her. I've done this before and it always end with disappointment.

Can't worry about what might happen, I just have to tell her what I fell. It's up to her to react and for me to wait for her reaction. Just thinking about it makes me my hands tremble and my heart beating faster.

Gotta keep calm.

But I don't know if can be calm about it.

To Travel Again

Tomorrow, I will be traveling again. It's my 2nd trip this week. My agenda for tomorrow's travel is not what was planning the this week. That meeting was canceled and moved to next week. Now, I have a new agenda. I want to rendezvous with someone and hoping that she's meet up up with me if she has no plans. I'm getting nervous already. We've known each other for a very long time and we had conversations before but now I want to tell her something personal that she may not expect me to say. I'm just hoping that I will have the guts to her so. Wish me luck.

Dylan Hears a Who

Hear again are some designs I've encountered in the internet that bears my name:

World Wide Web Awards - Friendship Award

This award was given by Maya. I'm passing this to Gracie, Bojoy, eMz, Madelyn & Cindy

It Was a Dark & Cold Night...

If I had to make an introduction to describe tonight, that would be it. It has been constantly raining since this afternoon and until this very moment. Since I was a child, I find cold night depressing especially when you're alone. It is also oftentimes projected in movies, rain usually comes after a sad announcement like death or break-up. It's usually better better for me to spend cold nights with your loved ones. Cold & rainy nights like this usually keeps members of the family at home. Rain acts like a deterrence to some people because they can't enjoy the night life that much if it's cold outside.

However, I love the rain when it comes while the sun is shining. Since I was a kid, we called that phenomenon as "the feast of the heavens". A simple yet magical description of such an event. It doesn't happen that much and maybe it's a blessing when it happens

Rose Awards

Thank you so much for the roses, Jasmine! ♥



♥ The winner can put the logo on her blog.
♥ Link the person you received your award from.
♥ Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
♥ Put links of those blogs on yours.
♥ Leave a message on the blogs of the girls and boys you've nominated.

And here goes..

Maya
Kingkay
Donna Kristel
Kcatwoman
Selo
Kwagoo
Shengy

Crooked

Brooks become crooked
from taking the path of
least resistance.

So do people.


Harold E. Kohn

Roundtrip

I made a roundtrip today just to get some of my stuff from my former place. It was quite a tiresome trip accompanied by rain for the most part of the day. Maybe it's just me but when I'm in a trip, I sweat profusely even in air-conditioned areas. Due to the rain that fell throughout the day, i just slept for a couple of hours after preparing my stuff and headed for home. And it's nice to be back.

Today's My Day

I just went along like any normal day of my life. No fuzz, no buzz. I prefer to be with a few close friends and family rather than a bunch of individuals who just know my name. Since those friends are not here and I'm missing them. We'll just meet soon when I visit them.

What made this day unique was that someone treated me to a snack. It was here promise to do so one of these days. However, it was not the setting that I would have preferred. There was somebody else in the scene. I hoped that it was just between her and me but this wasn't the case. It felt like it was just done to get over the the thing she promised. Well, we can always get what we want and may never will. (sigh)

Birth of Archangel

A friend of mine, the ComicBookGuy enjoys creating stop motion animation from his toy collection. His latest creation is entitled: The Birth of Archangel. This is his take on the transformation of Angel into Archangel from the X-Men Comic books. With the special participation of Apocalypse and Mr. Sinister.

Check it out!

Real Person Award

Thanks to Donna Kristel for the Award! i appreciated and honored that I'm the one you choose The Marie Antoinette Award, a real person...

Here are the Rules for the Award:

1. Please put the logo on your blog
2. Place a link to the person from whom you received the award
3. Nominate at least 7 or more blogs
4. Put the links of those blogs on your blog
5. Leave a message on their blogs to tell them.,

I nominate the following...
shengy's delight
watadid
vicksinhalingman
edelweiza
francis
azureangelic
Rechie Ruth

enjoy the tag! YOU ARE REAL!

Disintegration of Society

Nobody ever imagines that he is, by double-parking and forcing a stream of traffic to go around him, in any way contributing to the disintegration of society; and yet it is precisely in such tiny ways that the fabric of the community is torn asunder, with each person blaming some vast abstraction called "They," and defending his mild transgression as merely a necessary part of "the struggle to survive."

Sydney J. Harris

My Cynicism Gets Ahead of Me

I'm a pessimist. I value loyalty and decency. There is no denying that I am critical of some people. Not because I want to destroy them but I know what they are because of the facts I have known. Oftentimes, the cynic in me just blurts out some that are hurtful even though they are try. I'm becoming too judgmental on the actions of others. Maybe, its the enviornment I am in now because before I was not too critical on others. I just hate it when evil is done in plain sight and no one says anything about it. It is not a farfetched idea to say that they are tolerated because I have already witnessed how they do actions with permission and order people to make their actions look legal.

I don't like being like this but I have to say something. I admire someone of their goodness and despise them of their faults. Not common faults but deliberate actions that affects the common good of people. Such actions make the people distrust their leaders but still end up sticking with them because manipulation.

I would have admired them for their ability and plans but I can't because their actions are just a facade of what they can gain from those plans. In the very end, they only do what can benefit them. And it is difficult to take that they are persecuting the good and rewarding their stooges.

I just hope I won't become to judgmental on these people that I will devoid them of goodness because if that happens I will no longer recognize you as an individual who deserves even a tiny respect.

Burdening You, As Always

I was assigned to help complete a much delayed project and I found out how difficult it is to gather the necessary data due various reasons like unavailability, refusal to give or they just cannot deliver the correct data even if we beg them. Some of them are just to lazy to locate the data so they just say, "none available". Its seems odd to me because most of these data are collected every year and some are required submissions by individuals applying for permits and licenses. In my opinion, these data doesn't need some complicated programs with a database. Given the number of people who apply yearly, it could have been done through Excel format. Time and time again, these problems of data gathering is experienced but no method was introduced to solve this simple problem. Right now, the word to describe the government is "procrastination". They make simple things complicated. Other institutions make studies on how to do things properly and simply but that is not the style of the government. They make you wait and wait until you lose interest in asking them. As the with the GSIS, the common reply is "We Are Updating Our System" and mind you, this is their reply every year to hide their faults. Blaming the computer for the errors of individuals who doesn't care about the common employee. (Sigh) So many worthless systems that are still implemented.

Maybe some of these agencies should have these slogans:

"Burdening You, As Always"

or

"Making Your Life Harder
than It Should Be"

Kinda Confusing Today

It was kinda confusing at work today. My supervisor talked about a couple of tasks that jumbled my mind. Not that I don't know what he was talking about. It was just I wasn't in the right mindset to work. Couldn't get one task right and I forgot many things about my work and I looked dumb as he as asking me about it. I just kept on agreeing with him or just be silent because I have the vaguest idea on what he was talking about either because I forgot about it or it wasn't assigned to me. It is only now that I remember what I was supposed to do. Maybe, I'll get it right tomorrow. Just maybe. (sigh)

I Can't Help But Criticize

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

I've noticed myself criticizing the failure of others to do their job or the way management treat the good and bad people. I really help it because wrongdoings are done everyday without fail and it is being tolerated by people in power. Some low ranking employees seem to be more powerful than some regular employees because of their "backers". They act as if they own the place. I'm not criticizing because I am the one being trampled upon because I can always fight them and I'm not afraid to defend myself when I'm being wrongly attacked. I criticize because evil is tolerated and they deal with the good critically. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or a PHd in any field to notice that there is something wrong with this system. I'm not passing myself as a righteous person because I am not but I don't steal or let others commit illegal acts for my sake.

It is common to hear about projects not granted or and deliberately withheld because the people in power lost in that particular place or that they could not gain anything or value from that area. People sometimes request that proper procedures not be followed because even meager amounts are being interested by many unscrupulous individuals resulting in poor quality projects. This is not some sort of cloak and dagger deal that is only known to a few people but it is common knowledge and you can't do anything about it even if you try because these unscrupulous individuals are well-protected. They go by the codes: "What are We in Power for?" and "I Scratch Your Back, You Scratch Mine".

Isn't it stupid for someone to by furniture from a store that doesn't sell furniture? That's the reality in here. You buy purchase something from a store that doesn't have inventory and wait until they deliver. It's not as if they were just out of stock. No, they don't have that stock. It is as if you were paying someone to buy you something when you can buy it yourself. I've been purchasing products similar to what they are ordering and the mark-up when purchased from their supposed "dealer" is oftentimes more than 50% of the product cost.

Come on, are they that rich to waste a lot of the people's money or is their some hidden deals behind the purchaser and retailer? They always emphasized or austerity measures and energy saving techniques to cope with the the rising costs but will it be realized if they are stealing money in the guise of projects. When will we ever learn not to tolerate these acts.

"The most important of all revolutions... a revolution in sentiments, manners and moral opinions."

I bought the wrong RAM

Last Thursday, I bought a new RAM for my computer to increase its current capacity because my current 1GB memory cannot handle some of my photo editing I'm doing since I photograph using the large format. With all the editing I'm doing, the computer is starting to "hang" already. However, when I tried to install what I bought, it won't fit the socket of a DDR2 RAM because apparently I bought a DDR800 RAM without checking if its was the correct one for my computer. I was so disappointed because it was such a waste of money. Maybe, I can sell it to someone because it's still brand new. I hope my friend can help me with this dilemma. Next time,.I'll try to checke and verify my purchases. (sigh)

My HD Enclosure was a Disappointment

I was enthusiastic today when I received the Hard Disk Enclosure that I ordered from a friend. Already thinking of transferring some data from my computer because it's already loaded with my video collection and my brother's music collection. but when I reached home and plugged it in, the computer won't detect it as a storage device. It only detects that there is some new device inserted in the computer. I have to contact my friend again to see what wrong and to have it fixed immediately. I hope it will be done by tomorrow.

When The Lights Go Down in the City

"When the lights go down in the city,

and the sun shines on the bay,
do i want to be there, in my city,"

This lyrics from the song "When the Lights Go Down in the City" by Journey could somehow describe what happened today in my city because for the whole day the electricity was out due to some repairs conducted by the power company. The sun shined but it was drizzling the whole morning so I just went out for a while in the afternoon to buy some food and converse with a friend. Several were probably out of town because they can't stand the brownout happening today but I stayed because I have nothing to do out of town. Just sleep most of the day and took some photographs of flowers around the house. I prefer that there will be no brownouts for a long period of time in the near future so that I can enjoy the city..hehe.

No Electricity Tomorrow

How idle will tomorrow be? It's been announced today that there will be no electricity tomorrow for the whole day or as they estimated it, 12 hours. I've got top find something to do tomorrow because i can't surf the internet or watch movies tomorrow. Especially here in our town, when the flow of electricity stops, all other services stops too especially the supply of water. Maybe I can go out and photograph interesting parts of town or maybe catalog and arrange all my videos. Still can't decided what to do tomorrow but I have do do something to keep me from being bored or sleeping the whole day..hehe.

Tired and Feeling Warm

So tired right now but I'm not sleepy. Maybe because i drank too much softdrinks the whole day. I went on a round trip to Davao early this morning and we've just arrived this evening. I went there to enroll and settle some things while transferring some of my gears to back to my home. There are still a lot there but I hope I'll finish moving by the end of the year. Also, I'm feeling warm and sweating profusely right now. This usually happens when I arrive home after a trip. I'm not really an ideal traveler because I get dizzy always be it in a car, bus, van and even airplanes. Preferably, I want to feel the wind in my face so that I won't feel dizzy. I guess I have to get used to it because, in the couple of weeks, I'll start traveling again.

Finally, I'm Enrolled

This morning I finally enrolled but I really don't know what to do on the subject that I enrolled. It's been two years since I wen to school. Just glad that I've enrolled because I thought I was already over the limit for maximum years allowed. When I enrolled this morning, I don't even remember the procedures on enrollment and I felt almost lost with all the procedures even if I was the the only one enrolling that very moment. I felt silly but I'm glad it's over. Now, the real battle begins. I have no idea what to do..hehe.

Trying to Enroll, Again

Tomorrow I will be trying to enroll and finish what I started about four years ago. I don't know if I will still be accepted but I'll try. Now, I've got a lot of time in my hand and maybe, just maybe, I can finish my thesis in just one semester. The next months would be so hectic because of the holiday season and all my travels. In my timetable, I have to do it all in three months or less so that I can graduate by March together with my friends. I hope I can do it.

I Finally Have a Copy of Citizen Kane

Finally, the wait is over, I finally found a copy of the movie Citizen Kane. It's been years since I started looking for that movie and now I found one. I've read great reviews of this movie and some critics considered it the best movie of all time. I'll be watching it in the next couple of days because I don't have much time right now to watch a movie intently. Don't know if I will like it but I want to see what made it a great movie.

Going to Makati Again

I think the decision to travel back to Makati City by the end of the month is as good as approved. It's the 2nd trip back to Luzon is as many months since I've been back to my old job. Last month, we were in Subic and Manila. I don't really know what I'll doing there but I have to prepare. The boss has chosen me as his do-it-all guy who has to keep up with him and all his ideas, as well as remember them. There could be many things to learn from that trip, I just have to keep listening and watch intently what my supervisors are doing. Just hoping that it would really be a learning experience, not just some tour because Manila for me is not appealing unless you have money to spare. And you can bet on it that I don't have any shopping money with on that trip.

Not the Reaction I was Expecting

I gave the gift to someone today from my last travel and I didn't get the reaction I wanted. Maybe I was just expecting too much. She doesn't believe what I say to her although I've was not kidding around when I was talking or having a conversation with her. I don'r know if the term is right but I can perceive that she thinks of a me as a "joke" because she's always thinking that I was joking around. Why is that? Or maybe she just want don't want to acknowledge what I'm saying. I can only guess and my guess is a depressing one.

All Saint's Day

Late this afternoon, we went to visit and pay respects my grandmother's grave. Many people we already setting up their tents to stay for the night. We stayed there for a short time and offered a rosary for her. because we aren't stating overnight there. Most of us will come back tomorrow. Then we went home after that because it was apparent that sooner the rain will fall. And then it rained while we were riding our motorcycle home. Upon arrival, we were soaked wet and until this moment heavy rain is still pouring.

It will be a cold night.

It Almost Midnight

Got nothing to do but wait for midnight. Can't sleep 'cause I slept earlier. In some other places, people are celebration Halloween but here in my town it's almost unheard off. People are usually preparing most of of the day to visit their dearly departed family. Some might be there already in the cemetery spending the night. It's some sort of gathering of the family to commemorate and celebrate the life of the deceased. Tomorrow, I think I will visit my grandma's tomb together with my family.

It's ironic that in some parts of the world, people are treating this day as a celebration or party of some sorts but here in my country, it's more of a solemn day as we prepare for the All Saint's and All Soul's Day.

We are honoring the dead while other dress as dead/scary individuals scare around. We really have diverse cultures.

Mutually Assured Destruction (M.A.D.)

Mutually Assured Destruction (M.A.D.) was a nuclear defense strategy used by the US during the Cold War which theorizes that "if the Soviet Union and the United States have their urban population at risk, then neither will attempt a first strike."

I first came across this term when I overhead heard my supervisor talking to someone about this kind of strategy with their opponents. Didn't understand it then but got a clue on what it was because he talked about the cold war. Just now, I was reading a Reader's Digest (December 1982 issue) and got some sort of explanation on how this strategy would have been used.

Based on that brief reading, I found out that the effects on this on you and your opponents would not be "mutually assured" because you have different capabilities and terrain. Both of the parties may get some damage but the winner cannot be assured. I think whenever, this strategy would be used, it should be as a last resort.

Stained Celebration

Today was the 105th founding Anniversary of my hometown but today's celebration was stained with grief because the LGU's Security Officer was killed in his home this morning, just after the celebration of the mass at the city's covered court. Today was supposed to be the culminating day of the week-long festival, including tonight's gathering of the pioneering settlers of the town. I bet think the LGU's mood tomorrow will be of quiet distress of how such an unfortunate event happened on day of joy.

Full of Controversy

Several activities were held today like a dance competition and a basketball game as culminating activities of the festival season. And in these activities there are a couple of controversies that arises due to some technical and organizational problems. Although some of those grievances are coincidental, I believe that some of it have basis because as one of the spectators it is inconceivable for me to such a uneventful performance with a win. The judges may have seen something different but I think the spectators know who the real winners are. They may just have to get them next time.

Just Got Back

I've been out for five days to Subic and Manila this past week. Just arrived this evening. Spent most of the day traveling and it was tiresome. I'm still feeling woozy from all the traveling just to get back home and my body still aches. Ir would be nice to have a massage and a cold back right now but i'm still feel hot from todays journey. Andnow I can sleep in my bed and feel the comfort of home and my belongings. Hotels and Inns are not suitable for me because I can't sleep well in it. I like to be with the familiar things and people to be comfortable. It's nice to be back home. Got to give some "pasalubong" tomorrow to several people and another for someone special. I hope she likes it even though she doesn't really know that I like her. (sigh)

Solitude of Early Morning

For me, the solitude of early morning is the most precious time of the day. There is a quiet serenity that disappears a few hours later with the hustle and bustle of the multitude.

Early morning hours symbolizes for me a rebirth; the anxieties, frustrations and woes of the preceding day seems to have been washed away during the night. God has granted another day of life, another chance to do something worthwhile for humanity.

Michael E. DeBakey, heart surgeon

I Love My Name

I created this one using the Scriptina font and I like the result. I'm just wish that my signature would looks something like that but it won't happen (sigh).


The one below is an ambigram of my name that I found on the internet. I don't knwo who the creator that is by I like the look of it.

Brownout This Evening

We experienced a brownout here in our area just this evening while we were having our dinner. I was afraid that the lights won't turn on tonight because I have to endure the rest of the night just sitting or lying in the corner until I feel sleepy. I usually sleep late at about midnight or even after that. Spend most of my time tinkering with my computer, surfing the net or watch a video. I'm happy that it came back so I can do something in my computer.

Doing Some Powerpoint Presentation

I was assigned to do a Powerpoint presentation for my boss for the conference we're attending next week and I'm having problems with the design right now. It's already laid out but it's not really amazing too look at. Very basic look of a Powerpoint presentation. My problem is the fact that I'm not an artistic person who can conjure some great design that would amaze the viewers. I can do what he wants me to do on any design or effect that would want to be placed in it. I can plot what deign is on your mind by I can't conceptualize a design. I think nexr week, there will be some revisions on the current look of it because my boss is somewhat particular with designs and the aesthetic look of things. i'm more of a content kinda guy.

Working with Microsoft Office 2007

I'm having difficulty adjusting to the Microsoft Office 2007 because I was used to doing things in the 2003 version. The items that I was looking for are not anymore in their places. I'm still learning the 2oo7 version. For beginners, the Office 2007 is good because it is all presented in front of you. You don't have to look for those items under the drop down menus. However, for us individuals who were using the Microsoft Office ever since the 1997 version, it takes a while to get accustomed to the new look. The only thing I can remind the users out there is to always save your files as "word 1997-2003 document" which has the file extension ".doc" whenever you are using different computers because the 2007 version with file extension ".docx" will not open in lower versions. So to be safe, save it as ".doc".

On Official Travel

Next week, I will be going to Manila, and maybe Subic, to attend some sort or seminar or presentation. I’m not as excited as one might think because I don’t like flying because I get woozy when traveling. My first experience with Manila was last June and I wasn’t impressed. Too crowded for my taste but I’ve never been to Subic before so this is my chance to look at the sights and sounds of the place. I like to see their zoos and maybe the place where they show the dolphins. I’m just hoping that I can tour the place somehow but I’m not sure that it can happen because I have to be in contact always with my superiors. So basically, I’ll be following their time schedule. Bon voyage.

Making the Ordinary, Best

This may be the land of equality
Where one is as good as the rest,
But I personally feel
That we ought to repeal
The law making Ordinary, Best.

Philip W. Kelleher

This somehow describes what I think about when I seen people describe something like new movies, music and other things released in the market nowadays. People always describe it as the best movie they've seen or could be the best action movie, most romantic. In other cases, they think it was their best thing ever made or written. What have we succumbed into? Have we lowered the standards for excellence we have set on what we like? Let’s face it, all of these things are just marketing strategies aimed to promote something. Those companies just came up with description just to sell something. I could understand it with the persons being paid to say something to promote a product because they just do it for the money. However, I have seen videos and articles written about what their impressions of several products, especially in movies saying something like “it’s the best ever” or something to that effect. Are they really saying the truth? Are they just obliged to say something nice or maybe they just want to be seen in front of a camera? Have we lost our ability to say something as it is? Let us set standards of quality are real and not something is just forced upon us to fit in. I think in those cases some of those people would just shut-up.

Thinking of Finishing It

I just had a conversation with a friend and she thought that we should finish our master's. It's about two years since I finished my academic subjects but I didn't pursue my thesis because I didn't feel like doing it and it costs a lot. Also, I was living somewhere where my pockets have to be tightened. Now, since I have nothing to do after work, I was thinking about pursuing it again. I don't know if I would still qualify after the long lay-off by I will try. Maybe it's time for me to finish it.

Internet Connection Installed

Just this past week, my internet subscription was installed. I now have more time to surf the net, chat with friends and, more importantly, to update my blog. For a long time, I've been doing researching and updating my blog from the office or from an internet cafe. Being in internet cafes is uncomfortable to me especially when I'm writing something like my blog because I have to rush everything and always keep tab on the hours spent there. Subscribing to an internet connection is also is practical for me because I spent a lot of time on the net and the amount I pay there is more than what I pay for my monthly subscription. Now, it's time to enter the electronic universe of the internet.

The So-Called "children of god"

Children of God, as I have been taught throughout my life, means all of us living on this earth. However, this past week, I learned a new meaning for this phrase. A sort of negative connotation of what basically is a religious word. The new meaning implies the “untouchable” bunch of employees who are, most of the time, exemption to the rules & regulations that were made & implemented by the management. It was told to me that they came up with this description in reference to the religious meaning that the Children of God are close to the heart of God, now they use it to as a reference to the people who would be first on the management’s list. It doesn’t matter if they whether they fit or not. Oftentimes, these “children of god” are accommodated individuals who they have known for a long time or people who have helped them before. They could also refer to the people who they pity and try to alleviate a little the life of these persons. However, this accommodation doesn’t come without a price; it requires blind loyalty and support to the causes advanced by the management.

Although, this is some type of charity for the management to look after their people, I have some problem with it because helping doesn’t anything in return. Help people for the sake of helping and not because of the expectation that they will serve you in the future. Is this how we serve people now? And why are these things tolerated and never questioned? It is because you don’t want to be seen in bad light by the management. But they would never admit this. Sad but true.

Agitated Me

Lately, I'm quite agitated for reason I have yet to discover. Releasing my sentiments with no reservations even against the powerful. I tend to say what I want without hesitation especially my observation on my surroundings that makes a person like me abhor the dealing around me. The rebel in me is unleashed when I see wrong things being defended by people who are afraid of opposing the people in-charge because of possible retaliation.

I am one of the perceived individuals accommodated by the higher-ups. I am not one of them. It may look that way but I am not. I just came to work because it was offered to me and they believed that I can do the job assigned to me. Belief in my abilities is not one of my strong suits. I tend to doubt my abilities because of my fear of failing and being wrong. My doubts makes me cautious but also leads me nowhere. And that lack of confidence really bothers me.

And So Begins, Again...

Its' my second day on the job and I'm still learning my old job. I'll get the hang of it sooner because eventually more assignments will come my way. It's been some time since I last this type of work again. My old job was more or data monitoring and gathering while this one entails a lot of writing formal documents. The one thing that still bothers me is the ample time spent doing nothing because the boss is not around to tell the employees what to do. Maybe it is only my perception that some of them can only use their abilities once they are allowed to do so. There is a lot of time waiting and I really mean a lot of time. I'm not used to just sitting in a chair half the day doing nothing. I have to do something while in the office like writing, reading or editing something related or unrelated to my work. Those lag times between work makes me sleepy even in a room that I'm not comfortable with. I hope that I will be assigned a computer and not share with the whole office because I cannot write and be be interrupted always, it disrupts the flow of thought on that particular assignment. Maybe, eventually I'll adjust to working in this type of environment again. Til' then.

Same Old Answer

Have you ever known someone who has the same old answer to a question at different points in your life? Well, I know one who does. The problem is I like this one and for her, I’m just the one consults me when she has technical problems. No hi or hellos in any other day of the year. She could be likened to a common business impression that when you ask a Chinese businessman about his business, he will always say that it is losing.

Let me make myself clear first, the question I asked is not a romantic question whatsoever. I just asked her the same question today and she just replied the same old answer. This answer may be true sometime but not all the time. Or maybe, I just caught her with the same question at a wrong time so her answer is justified. I don’t think so. I have know her most of my life and the odds of me asking at the wrong time all the time is close to zero.

Today, I begin to wonder, is her answer just meant towards me. I don’t like to feel that I was “just accommodated” as something in someone else’s like especially from the people I consider as my friends and the people I like. Sooner or later, I will find the answer to my questions.

I have already expressed to her that I missed her before and she just treated it as a joke when she knows that I don’t play around and I have never lied to her. Maybe it is time to see if she will remember me somehow.

First Day Low

I started my new job today. I spent most of the morning just sitting around because the boss was busy and spent about an hour working in the afternoon because the boss was busy. He just handed me files for me to study and make something out of it.

It’s difficult to make what he asked for at the present because there are only two computers available, one laptop and one desktop, and both are used by all the employees in the office interchangeably. I guess I’m not good at preparing my reports on paper because I constantly revise what I do or change immediately what I think is wrong in my reports so making it in the computer is more viable for me.

On my first day, I was greeted by the people who used to know me while others wonder what I was doing there. The location and people have changed slightly but it is more or less the same atmosphere I left almost three years ago. The people’s attitudes haven’t changed a bit, only their uniforms. They made me remember an old saying, “The more they try to change, the more they stay the same.

Working Again

I will start working tomorrow. I don't know what my job will be or who I'll be working for. However, I don't feel anything about working back there again. I'm not anxious or excited. Just want to go there tomorrow and start doing what i will be assigned to.

I really don't know what will happen tomorrow. Maybe stir up a little gossip somewhere on why I did come back after leaving it almost three years ago. I know I was over-hyped by some individuals there, even now. They think I am very good at something, and that something is what I am skeptical about. It's hard to live up to something that is expected of you.

I liked working in other places because I can start fresh, nothing much is expected of me. They will judge me only by what I am doing and nothing else. But here, I have to live up to the the excellence of my parents. Be at par or greater than their abilities. This excellence was already expected of me even before I graduated It's nice to be known for something good, however, it is difficult for me because I was already expected to be good at something without proving myself yet. Maybe, this is how it works in the place I live in. I have been dealt with such a card and all I can do is do my best to make that card work.

There is something that i want to make myself clear and maybe to others as well, I was offered this job and I took it after much contemplation. I didn't look for it or even wanted it. And since I have accepted this new challenge, I will prove to myself that I was right in choosing it and do a good job while I'm at it. This is just another step of development for me and for my future. I just hope it works.

Watching Mamma Mia with Mama

I’ve just seen the movie “Mamma Mia” with my mother this evening. She didn’t come with my father and me when we watched it in the big screen. Such a wonderful movie, she remembered some of the songs. However, I think I knew more songs from the movie than her. It was a fun viewing and she remembered the lyrics to "Chiquita" and "Dancing Queen". She even cried in one of the scenes. We both enjoy watching musicals especially the ones we know the lyrics to the songs so we can sing while the movie is playing. I know I’m not a good singer, not even a fair singer. I’m at singing but I love to sing, mostly with friends who understand and put up with my less delightful voice.

The Return of the Comeback

I'm back where I began. Next week, I will be starting my new job. It will be going back to something I have don before. But I hope there are changes to it. The previous job was quite boring and predictable. Sometimes when we do something repetitive, we tend not to pay too much attention to it because we were used to it. It makes us complacent, unenergized and less motivated to do our job.

I will return to work on something that I presume I was good at because I was offered to return after almost three years. The work was challenging but the outputs are less to be desired. It is not in my nature to compromise on what the best course of action would be, but in this case I have to because I think that some of the individuals involved are not keen on the results but what can they get out of it. Sometimes, some individuals would just present to you something they have seen somewhere and immediately want it implemented without knowing if it is applicable or not.

I hope i will develop humility and increase my patience and also learn more from this new endeavor that I will be undertaking. I have pointed out the negative I've previously experienced but I hope that I will find positive change to something I have left long time ago.

Last Day on the Job

Today is my last day on the job. I'm just finishing up all my previous assignments before turning it over to my replacement. It's been two years since I started working here and I've learned a lot. It is now time to move on and seek further success in other fields.

Busy Training

It's be a while since I am training my replacement since I will be resigning from my current position. My replacement is more adept to my work because of his prior knowledge of what this job entails him to do. He came from another division of our company, so not much immersion on the job is required. Just a little tutorial on some of the things I've been doing for the past two years that must now continue to do. I hope he does well in his new position.

Going Out Celebration of Sorts

Today, we held a going out celebration of sorts for the three of us who will be leaving the company. We a feast for our department and some snacks to others. We've got to love our own. A little snack for everyone for all the good and bad times we shared. For all the stories and gossips that we have exchanged throughout our stay in the company. We will definitely miss the people we have known and confided with during our stay. We just hope that you wish us well in the new endeavors that we are about to do. I wish you all the best and hope we'll see each other someday. Good luck to all of us.

Perfect love is Rare

Perfect love is rare indeed -
for to be a lover will require that you continually
have the subtlety of the very wise,
the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist,
the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint,
the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain.

Leo Buscaglia

Remembering Martial Law

Last Sunday was the anniversary of the declaration of Martial Law in this country 36 years ago. I didn’t even know it then until I watched the news of several groups remembering one of the darkest hours of our nation.

I watching surfing the television shows last night and chanced upon the documentary IMELDA last night on TV5. The documentary shows Imelda thoughts and opinions of her past and the opinions of several witnesses to her time. It shows what Imelda thinks of her actions and the reality that happens during that time. How sad is it to live at that time when our leaders were more concerned on the aesthetic appearance of our country over the alleviation of plight of its people.

One of the business associates of the Marcoses that time even remarked that it was one of the most wonderful times in the country because people are disciplined and does what they are told to. How inconsiderate is it for someone to say something like that? The people are doing what they are told to do is not a mark of democracy. The people were afraid of being imprisoned or killed, for that matter when you can only do what your leader thinks is correct. Stifling basic freedom like freedom of expression and the freedom to know, not the things that the government wants us to believe, is one of the cruellest things that can be done to an entire nation.

I can’t believe that Imelda could say that she is both a star and a slave and that the people are happy if happy if they see her extravagance. She thinks that she is some sort of delusional drug for the people must take for them to be happy. I can’t help but feel awful after her statements and her assumption that one of the worst times of our country was its best because of her, is something I cannot accept. One cannot say that they created something if it is not theirs. Invoking the word of God and that they were the savior of this third world country is one of the most blatant lies ever told.

In those times when all types media are stifled, could they ever stifle the people’s voice today with all sorts of free media such a blogging. Makes me think, in those times, how much the government would be willing to do to suppress our freedom.

Choosing One's Attitude

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances.

Viktor E. Frankl

Farewell Treat

A farewell treat is usually expected from a person who is about to leave his/her current job. Well, soon, I will be that person. People expect you to give one, and they will tell you about it constantly. Over the last month, I was told about this. I don’t know if I can because I’m financially challenged right now. Maybe something small will do, however, it is difficult to do right now because of financial constraints.

Award for 8

They all are charmed with the blogs, where in the majority of its aims are to show the marvels and to do friendship; there are persons who are not interested when we give them a prize and then they help to cut these bows; do we want that they are cut or that they propagate? Then let’s try to give more attention to them! So with this prize we must deliver it to 8 bloggers that in turn must make the same thing and put this text.

Many Thanks to you my dear Shengy's Delight.

I’ll choose:

dio t'ama

edelweiza

kittykay1981

glamorouscha

question to answer

francis

selo

esmeralda

Immediate Assumption

I had a conversation with brief conversation with and co-worker this morning. She asked me something and I answered. Her immediately replied that I was lying. I answered here truthfully and never recalled lying to her before. How could that be that she assumed that i was lying? This did not just happen today, I had many conversations like this before.

Reactions like this puzzles me. Why do some people assume that we are lying when we answer them? Are we used with lies that we cannot decide which is the true or false? Are we not trustful of everyone around us? What makes a person assume that answers are lies?

This reminds me of a friend who always react by saying that I was lying to everything I tell her. I always ask her if i have ever lied to her and she cannot answer me straight because I have never lied to her before. I am always irritated with this type of response because I am not someone who fabricates answers. What makes them think that I'm lying? Is it because I sometimes smile when I answer or that I answer immediately to their questions. I really have no clue why this is their initial reaction to my answers. Maybe the truth fo them is harder to believe than a lie. Who knows?

Impatience Poisons All Our Joys

Impatience poisons all our joys and prevents us from recognizing happiness. We are made impatient by the impression that happiness is always a little further on. We want to rush through everything to achieve it. But happiness, as a philosopher once wrote, is like a ball chased by a child - when you catch up with it, you give it a kick.

Luigi Barzini Sr.

Slow Time

Today, it seems that the time is going very slow since this morning. This usually happens when I’m bored. I’ve done my paperwork and it still seems that the clock hasn’t moved. It’s a very slow and lackluster day for me. Not much to do and still waiting for the clock to reach 6PM so that I could go home already. (sigh)

Wrong Description

Too many people get credit for being good, when they are only being passive. They are too often praised for being broadminded when they are so broadminded they can never make up their minds about anything.

Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Maybe Someday

I’ve often wondered between you and me, if it could be together. We’re so different from each other like opposite sides of a coin. You’re exciting, I’m boring and that pretty much sums it up. I don’t know why but somehow I’m attracted to you. I can formulate many reasons why we should not be together but do they really matter. We’ve known each other for a while now but you don’t take be seriously. I really don’t know why you do believe what I say even though I haven’t told you a lie. We’re close but not that close I would’ve wanted. I’ll be making a choice of continued friendship or as your lover. Too difficult a choice to make. Maybe, for now, all I give you are hints of how I feel even if you see it as a joke. Maybe someday you will see how you mean to me underneath this funny face I’m projecting. Maybe someday…

Prayer

We cannot merely pray to You, O God, to end war;
For we know that You have made the world in a way
That man must find his own path to peace
Within himself and with his neighbor.
We cannot merely pray to You, O God, to end starvation;
For you have already given us the resources
With which to feed the entire world
If we would only use them wisely.
We cannot merely pray to You, O God,
To root out prejudice,
For you have already given us eyes
With which to see the good in all men
If we would only use them rightly.
We cannot merely pray to You, O God, to end despair,
For You have already given us the power
To clear away slums and to give hope
If we would only use our power justly.
We cannot merely pray to You, O God, to end disease,
For you have already given us great minds with which
To search out cures and healing,
If we would only use them constructively.
Therefore we pray to You instead, O God,
For strength, determination, and willpower,
To do instead of just to pray,
To become instead of merely to wish.

Jack Riemer

Illusions

I’m tired of believing in illusions that I wish I would see. Oftentimes, when I fell happy on something about you, I find something that breaks by heart, not knowing even if it’s true or not. That’s the problem with illusions, they can’t be verified. These are illusions perpetuated by a desperate man. I perceive what I want to see and then reality hits me back, it hits me hard. But why do I keep on believing these illusions even though they would unlikely become a reality? Between you and me, all I can see is the illusion of what we could be. It gives me hope that maybe someday these illusions would materialize in front of me. I can’t promise myself that I wouldn’t wonder about you. All I can do is do is dream even if it’s close to an impossible dream.

A Wonderful Evening

Last night, it was a typical evening when I arrived at home. I ate my dinner, slept a bit, and then watched some movie and a television show. Usual evening for me until you said good night and that typical evening turned into a wonderful one. You weren’t there, but I wish you could see how happy I was. You made me smile even for a while. You remembered and made me part of your day just as you were about to sleep. Wishfully thinking that I hope I was in your dreams.

What a wonderful evening it turned out to be.

Touch

Touch is a primal need, as necessary for growth as food, clothing or shelter. From the nuzzles and caresses between mother and infant that form the foundation of the self, to the holding of hands between a son and his dying father that allows a final letting go, touch is our most intimate and powerful form of communication. Michelangelo knew this: when he painted God extending a hand toward Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, he chose touch to depict the gift of life.

George Howe Colt

In the Guise of Service

The next election is still in 2010 but some interested individuals are now publicly expressing their interest in running for office and are doing so because the want to serve the Filipino people.

I have a problem with that reason of service to the country as a reason for running for political office. Every year, most of the politicians if not all, increased their assets & liabilities. They are getting richer & richer every year. And they all reason out that their businesses and investments are improving. Some of them would even say that they are sacrificing when they enter politics because they will lose money. And do you think they are getting poorer, even with the millions that they will spend for election? No, they are still getting richer because you can always take it back using government funds under some bogus project that they would create.

How stupid do they think we are? A public position may not give one person a higher salary but it gives that person power. The power to intimidate others and the power to let others favor you or your friends business or enterprise even if you’re not worthy. It is the power of influence, in the negative sense.

Now, people who even no background or knowledge about politics or leadership for that matter are positioning themselves for public office. It is an open secret why people enter politics; they want to protect their private & public interests. Mind you, the people are not on top of their priorities, they prioritize themselves. Then when their terms are finished, they let other family members on it and make their public office some sort of family corporation. The only thing that those men will do in their office is there are sign something that someone told them to sign because they have little or no understanding of what their position entails. And they will be easy to manipulate with the color of money. The number one on their scheduled activities would be doing some photo-ops for some project that have offered to the hungry masses and have it plastered all over town to let the people know that they have done something.

I abhor seeing the signage or posters places in most streets that says that projects are brought to us by some president, senator, congressman, governor or mayor. It is as if they have done it themselves using their own money. They are promoting their goodness to their constituents using the people’s money. How lame do they think the people are? One must not own what is not theirs.

I’m just here ranting my disappointment with our government. And however we may wish it would be different, it won’t. This is due to the fact that we continue to elect public officials who promote themselves as something they are not, while taking money on the side. We have learned to tolerate their actions because we have lost hope for change. There are still a few out there who still do real public service but you can count them all with the fingers of your hands. People, we must realize that the “lesser evil” is still evil. And wrong is still wrong even if everybody else is doing it. So let us not be blinded by the smiling faces and the dole outs that these would be public servants offer. Let us learn to discern more when we make a choice and have them offer real service and leadership.

What Life Expected from Us

It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life - daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.

Viktor E. Frankl

Sneezing Time

Today, you could call me Sneezy, one of Snow White’s Seven Dwarfs because I spent the most part of the day sneezing. My nose once again caught some dust or smelled something that triggered my allergy. I really hate it when this happens. I can’t work well because I can only work with one hand while the other is constantly covering my nose with my handkerchief. And I’m starting to get dizzy after all the sneezing that I went though. Now, I look like Rudolf, the red nose reindeer. How bothersome is this to my day. Oh, how I wish there’s a remedy for this because I can’t put my head down because of the possible gross consequences that might occur. Don’t like taking medicine for this but I think I have to take one today because I have to go somewhere.

And the sneezing continues…

Yes Ma’am / Yes Sir

Watching the news today, one of hot topics is the appointment of Chavit Singson as a deputy National Security adviser. Before that, there was the issue of Ralph Recto and Tito Sotto's appointment. All are defeated senatorial candidates that were now appointed to the president's cabinet after losing the senatorial elections now that the moratorium for hiring of defeated candidates has expired.

I has always bothered me why are defeated senators are appointed to cabinet positions. Couldn’t the president find any other more qualified individual who can do the jobs entailed by those government offices? Does the qualified person have to be a member of the party of the president? Is it necessary that cabinet posts be given to politicians?

I have asked these questions because there are many individuals out there who are more qualified than the ones appointed. I have studied before in my management class that one must find the right personnel to do the job at hand. In my own opinion, the president is looking for “yes ma’am” individuals. Persons who “she owes or they owe her” type of individuals that agree and approve to whatever she says or plans to do.

I have seen individuals who were just hired for political accommodation. These individuals have no knowledge of the job appointed to them because they are not appropriate for the job, they were just for convenience. With this mindset of politicians, it would be difficult to change what is wrong with the government because the problem is not just in the executive level but also in the local level where there are many “politically-accommodated employees”.

I’m an optimistic pessimist. Although, I wouldn’t see any "correct" changes in the government in years to come, whatever the type of government may be, I’m still hoping that it will change. And it will start in us individuals be not tolerating it starting from the grassroots level.

Killing Time / Wasting Energy

I'm in the office right now work. A few of us were required to work while the others are enjoying their weekends. Been here the whole morning and I think my work for the day just lasted about an hour. And now, I just killing time here just to finish the required 4 hours of work. Surfing the net, reading the news, blogging and updating some things in the internet.

This really deviates from the purpose of the company of energy conservation. This is the reason why they removed our half day work schedule every Saturday. Do you think it really works? First of all we still use quite a load of energy working here today even if there are only a few of us. The server should be turned on as well as our computers. And we all know that desktop computers an servers consume a lot of power. I can only say that the intention was noble even if it saves nothing. Or is this just riding the advocacy nowadays of Energy Conservation. This proposal in our office should have been studied and tested well before being implemented, not just for public relation purposes.

Not in the Mood to Work

The whole day, I don't feel like working. My body feels heavy as I sit in my chair doing my daily assignments. What could have been the cause of this? Maybe the weather, food or it's just in my head. Maybe I'm feeling down because tomorrow, I will have to go to work while my other co-workers will be staying in their homes resting. Well, why does my work be always the exception of the rules? No one has to work on holidays, but we do.

But the time of change is near. Will I miss this things that I don't like about my work? Well, I can't tell for certain right now. But the only certain thing that I know, as of this moment, is that I'm not in the mood to work. (sigh)