I'm Drowning

I've been feeling like I'm drowning lately. The house wasn't in order before I had Josie and it's just gotten worse since she was born. I feel like I can't get anything accomplished with the children around. I know Elder Ballard talked about enjoying the moment instead of focusing on getting it done, but I also know we need a house of order. Having an orderly home is a blessing for many reasons. If it's organized then it only takes a little maintenance every day instead of a major overhaul on the weekend. And when our home is clean we're quite content to stay at home instead of out in stores shopping. It also makes it really easy to find something when you're looking for it!

BUT, they babies are only little for a short time. Just look at the first year! *Did you know that no other creature on the Earth develops, changes, & advances as much as a human child does in the first year of their life? And I don't know how many mothers have told me childhood goes by so quickly.

And for some reason I feel like I have to do it all by myself. Ben cooks dinner every night, takes over with the kids when he gets home from work so I can have a break, willingly sends me away when I have cabin fever and keeps the kids, helps with the laundry, splits up the duties when we have to overhaul clean, and does all the yard work. Why do I feel like I have to do it all? Because I don't ask for help when I need it, and he doesn't do things the way I would do them. So really, it's my fault.

So I've been feeling defeated before I ever attempt to accomplish something because lately I feel like I haven't been able to accomplish anything. My Mom had the same problem when we were little and her advice was simple. Make a list of things you want to get done today and cross them off as you get it done. Even if it's something as simple as getting the mail, write it down. Then at the end of the day you can see that you actually have accomplished something and your husband can see it, too!!

Just because I got this wonderful advice doesn't mean I was following it. Well, I did for 2 or 3 days, but then one hectic morning and I forgot until just now. Feeling defeated and frustrated I explained my feelings to my husband who offered to give me a blessing. (I *love* having the priesthood in my home) I was reminded that the most important thing for me is to be a Mother. And that everything else is just getting in the way of that right now. I proceeded online and found 2 poems to remind of this and thought I'd post them for the other women in my life. I'm printing these up and hanging them in frames on the wall so it's a daily visual reminder of what's really important.

Excuse This Home

Some homes try to hide the fact
that children shelter there.

Ours boasts of it quite openly,
the signs are every where.

For smears are on the windows,
little smudges on the doors;

I should apologize I guess,
for the toys strewn on the floor.

But I sat down with the children;
we played and laughed and read,

And if the doorbell doesn't shine,
their eyes will shine instead.

For when at times I'm forced to choose
The one job or the other,

I want to be a homemaker
-but first I'll be a mother.

What Did I Do Today?

Today I left some dishes dirty; The bed got made around 3:30. The diapers soaked a little longer, The odor grew a little stronger. The crumbs I spilled the day before, Are staring at me from the floor. The fingerprints there on the wall, Will likely be there still next fall. The dirty streaks on those windowpanes Will still be there next time it rains. Shame on you, you sit and say, Just what did you do today?

I held a baby till she slept, I held a toddler while he wept. I played a game of hide and seek; I squeezed a toy so it would squeak. I pulled a wagon, sang a song, Taught a child right from wrong. What did I do this whole day through? Not much that shows, I guess that' s true. Unless you think that what I've done, Might be important to someone, With bright blue eyes and soft brown hair, If that is true...I've done my share.

Reusable

You know why I love reusable things? Because I don't have to shell out the money to use a great product over and over. Here's one for you, The Wrap-n-Mat. It's really cool! Ben takes his lunch to work almost every day.

Trystan is here!

My bestest bud Lori had her little boy today!!! *insert happy dance* So without further ado, introducing Mr.Trystan.

All 8 lbs. 6 oz. and 22 1/2 inches of him.

Chris, Lori & Trystan

And this quote really hit home . . .

. . . does it do the same for you?

"Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse, mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it."
-Elder M. Russell Ballard (emphasis added)

A Favorite Quote

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part- or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."
-Elder M. Russell Ballard

Car Seat Woes

Carlise is sooo big (40lbs.) that she has outgrown the 5-point harness on her car seat and most car seats for that matter. I know most parents would just put their child in a belt-positioning high back booster. However, I can't do that with Carlise because she's not even the minimum age (3) for those yet. And I can't see her in the back of the van or trust that she'll sit up the way you have to for those seats, or that she won't unbuckle herself. So I had to find a seat that has a higher weight limit on the harness. The cheapest one is $110. But no one local carries it where I can play with it and see how she fits in it. So I'm getting the next cheapest at $150. Since she's already 40lbs. she needs a new seat like NOW! Because her current harness is only crash tested to hold up to 40lbs. Eeeek! Despite how gloomy it looked at first, we managed to scrape up some money (yet another reminder of why you need an emergency fund) and sell a couple things (toys no longer played with) to fund the seat. Blessings are wonderful!!!!! I go tomorrow to get the seat. It's the Graco Nautilus

Today we went to our appt. with the CPS Tech. He checked the installation of our car seats. 93% of car seats are installed wrong. I always thought ours were installed correctly, but I wondered if I was one of those parents that thought I had done it correctly and it wasn't. But everything checked out!

diaper stash

Through assistance of some loved ones I have been able to build a cloth diaper stash. I bought some used and some brand new. Diaper Swappers and Spot's Corner are the best places to get used diapers for a great deal. And 1-800-Diapers started carrying the BumGenius! one-size diapers. Wesley's favorite is a VeggieTales diaper I bought.My all-time favorite diapers are the Starbunz animals. I bought a monkey one for Wesley.

Easter

We had a very quiet Easter. For some reason it just didn't feel like the season. It was too close to St. Patrick's Day this year and it was just in the wrong month. (in my little world) No pics of the kids in their Easter outfits. Carlise was having an atomic melt-down that morning and pics were the last thing on my mind that day. At Family Home Evening Mom let the kids hunt for candy-filled easter eggs before the lesson.

Potty Training- me or the child?

Potty Training has been good and bad with Carlise. It was frustrating with her initiating it the week before surgery because we both knew it would be really hard to keep up with her. But she for the most part is trying and doing really well. I snapped this probably a month ago now.
I had peeked in to check on her and this is what I found. She was "reading". Friday she used 2 pull-ups. Saturday she used 2 pull-ups (1 for most of the day) and Sunday she used 2. (We didn't have to pull out the 2nd one until after dinner.) She disappears into the bathroom, and she'll stay there as long as she needs to. It's sooo awesome seeing her in control and learning about her body. And no more diapers for her. Whooo-hooo!

update #1

Okay, I finally got the pictures from the camera to the computer 386 pictures later. I'm ready to update. I'm unfortunately one of those that feels if I can't do it all, I don't do any of it. Really bad habit, something I'm working on changing. Anywuzzles, on to updating with pictures.

After Josie was born some wonderful people in the ward gave us some gifts. The most unique was a cake. I'm no talking about just any old cake. It was a masterpiece. It was a 7 layer yellow cake with chocolate frosting between each layer and chocolate frosting on the outside. But it was homemade chocolate frosting, too! it was so rich, I couldn't even finish a whole slice in one sitting. (This from the girl who can/has demolished a jar of nutella in one day.) I even took a picture of it for you.

Informed decisions

I believe in making informed decisions. I LOVE researching things to find out as much as I can. And when it comes to safety, especially my children's, I'm very vigilant as most parents are. However, I've only just heard about extended rear-facing. Everyone knows the law of the land is that an infant must be at least 1 yr of age & 20 lbs. before forward facing in a vehicle. Pediatricians are actually recommending they remain rear-facing for as long as the seat will allow. My cheap $40 seat from Wal-Mart even allows a child to be rear-facing up to 35 lbs. I never really gave this extended theory a try, until I saw this video. Again, I believe you have to be informed before you can make a wise decision. Please watch, and then make yours.

Wheeee!

Ben has arranged for us to go on a date tonight! his Mom is coming over to watch the little ones. Even Josie is supposed to stay home. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. Actually, I'm quite anxious about that! Anyway, so we went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart today and of course it starts flooding about halfway there. If I had known it was going to be flooding, I wouldn't have hauled all 3 kids with me. We were soaked by the time we got inside. After grabbing enough food so we wouldn't starve, it was time to drop the cold stuff off at the house. And then off to playgroup where we celebrated Kallie's 2nd birthday from 11-1. And the kids were pooped when we got home, but only took a 2 hr. nap. While Josie decided she wanted to stay awake. So, i have a little less that 2 hours to clean up the house and get myself ready. I guess I work well under pressure? we'll see.

1 1/2 month update

I've found more time to be online again. Yay!!

Josie's weight gain:
4/3/08 12lbs 6.7oz

I'm slowing catching up on all the blogging/pictures that needs to be done.

Jason

Happy Birthday Jason!!