Monday, December 26, 2011

While going through life, and you take a look around you each and everyday, you'll learn that days can be catigorized as they are.

There are the days when everything seems normal. Nothing too dynamic.

There are the days when things just seem better than ever just because you feel better than ever.
There are the days when things are really just going so well. Good things just decided to shower on you on this day and you are loving it. These are the "good days".

Then again.There are the "bad days".
These are the days when you feel as gloomy as ever. It might be that you're worried about something. It might be that you are bothered by something. You're just not in the mood today and wish for the whole world to just leave you alone. Or you wish someone would appear to understand and share your sorrow.
There are the real "bad days", things just go wrong. A day filled with sadness, remorse and a whole lot of cluelessness as to why all of these are happening to you.

If we treat life as a path, everyday as a step and the scenery as how that day went, you'll see all of these days going past more clearly. You'll find yourself being able to appreciate every single day better. To appreciate the loved ones around you. To appreciate the things you have. To appreciate the time you have so that you'll use it wisely.
A lot has been going on lately. A lot has happened. And A lot will happen as well. Sometimes because of this, I find myself afraid, lost and sometimes numb of feeling. The future is so important and yet I have no clue of it. And all I can do now is to keep the faith.

So, appreciate the ones around you while keeping your fingers crossed for the future.
Love them, Cherish them and work hard for your future too. I know it may sound cliche, but treat every single day as a gift.
Just some sentences from a poem I hope you appreciate:"If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just
the same", "If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after
they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you"
-IF, Kipling
Don't waste your time, Don't waste your days, Don't waste this life of yours.

Some advice: If you could just use the normal days to do some good, it might just turn into one of your "good days". ;)

I am Keeping the faith.
Hope you are too.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Going Back IN another 2 weeks or so.. sigh~

I still remember coming back less than two months ago.
I still remember leaving about 8 months ago.
Nothing emotional. But I like my life here.
Stress-free + Multiple Sleep-ins + Multiple unnecessary naps + Going Out with friends regardless

Life back there is so much more different.
Got my AS results few days back and that's just only the beginning of this difficult (but yet worth it) journey.
Remembering the times back when we were young and care free.

I wish everyone a Super BRIGHT future where our dreams and reality would be simultaneous in our lives. Where we would embrace our jobs and lives and loved ones. Constantly working hard for a better tomorrow. We would be fully aware that the future is the key and never the past.

Then one day, we might meet on a street and notice that the memories we had a long time ago when we were still young are now nothing but a blur image and past. They would no longer hold a significance because it would all seem too far away. Then we would smile and nod, not stopping for this moment, not stopping for a word or two. We'll be busy and would be in a rush for something else more important. You might be walking with another man or woman or a group of friends. They would ask you:" Who's that?" and all you say is:" An old friend." You know your 11.30 meeting would not wait for you because you want to have a coffee with that old friend of yours. Because you know your job no longer relies or depend on others like how we could study together once upon a time. Because you know that Time does not stop ticking away, second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. It has been years since we've met each other and stopping now would no longer be important to you. We smile once more (apologetically) and walk away, not knowing when we would be lucky enough to have such a coincidence again. And yet it does not matter, you take out your notes for your meeting and start rehearsing the lines. The thought of your old friend fading into non-existence, blurring along the way and in the end ...forgotten.


Oh yeah, to the buddies who have found their LOVEY-DOVEY ones :D
To the boys,
Some are shy. Some just like to talk a lot (not a bad thing). Some just don't know how to express themselves. But yet I have to admit these are some of the few most eligible bachelors cause they're tough guys and yet when it comes to love, they all turn into softies and would do ANYTHING to make that someone happy. I would say any girl would be lucky to have found them because they're 好男人s I've been watchin grow up. Ha!
To the girls,
They're the best kind. A range of different personalities. I've known some of the most potential housewives to the most potential mother, the best 少奶奶? to the best girlfriends any guy would be grateful and lucky to have. They're all caring to different extents, some sacrificing more than others just to make other people happy. They're all different but they will always be there whenever you need them. And MOST of them would give in to love(some are still very strong-hearted.Haha~but would still give in to good looking guys=.=), and there can only be one explanation and is that they love you and will love you as long as you love them back.

I wish us all best of luck in the future. The future might seem cruel but I just wanna let you guys now that I appreciate and cherish you guys in my life, now more than ever.

Just another thought on growing up. Sooner or later, we all fall into the grasp of reality and time. And now (actually every moment of your life) would be a great time to appreciate the loved ones around you.




Thursday, July 7, 2011

...

It was because of our imperfections we found each other...
I never thought that one day it would be these imperfections that tear us apart.
We fell apart because of our foolishness and childishness, we fell apart and crumbled within...and that is all there is to it...
I finally noticed that it isn't because we dunno who's to blame. We know it...we know exactly, we know it's them, we know it's ourselves, it's the fact that everyone thinks that nothing is gonna change and them being content with their current lives, nobody wants to change and nobody thinks it's worth it...to change and to try...
I think it's stupid and wrong... inflicting pain on both parties...them and yourselves and yet still living as it is...If you never felt the pain, you're an Ass you should know that...If you ever did, Was it worth it all?
If you think it is, I can't tell you you're wrong but yes, you are.
Those imperfections were once our strength now it's every reason we fell apart...

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Countdown less than 30 days to...下一站,幸福 :)

Friday, April 22, 2011

I was always curious about how he is. I've looked through many books...and...

In the books that I'd read to find out what he's really like, there was a passage that had long settled in my heart...

Thursday, April 7, 2011

很久没用华文来打字了!感觉还挺不错的。Mmm 最近也不知怎么了。I'll just stick to English anyway Lately everything is starting to change and I can sense it no matter how much I miss the past it Is going to change and I must accept that. I've come here to learn that I will one day fail too I admit i was overly confident. I just had exams and i don't think I did well all the sleeping late made me make so many careless mistakes!! @@ maths paper lost about 7 marks just because I couldn't see the numbers properly I know it sounds dramatic but it really is the case. I never knew I would have such a day... hmmm and I guess I have found a new home here not a first home but a second one but it is not far behind from my first one. I have found friends I could trust friends I could depend on and I am extremely grateful about this I am truly happy about this.I guess it really is time... When we start to pursue our dreams in different directions...It's time to go our seperate ways...Most importantly, It's time for us to grow up. Living in this small community I've learnt that Yes we have to depend on each other and we have to learn to stand on our own feet. It's life. I know it may sound cheesy...but I really am feeling it...How my perspective on life must change...I will not always be better than certain ppl and I will have to face defeat one day too. All I can do is to work hard on my life and do my best the very best so that I can achieve what I want. We here in Concord we've been helping each other so much haha and it's really great.. and now it's easter holidays even if it's only 3 weeks I feel like I'll miss them so much ( the ones who are going home) Tawau is my home and will always be but I can't go back to the old me to the old times as I believe it is time...To leave behind somethings and to carry on with somethings. I dunno I miss my Tawau friends too but it's been months since I've seen them...It's not that I've forgotten about them I'm just really grateful I've found a place here haha I've let go of hatred and of all the 偏见ness in life. I've learn to really care and love. I wasn't really good in expressing it in the past. but not really now either. it's just that seeing everyone taking their paths down each individual's own road...It really is getting to me...坏习惯要改了。要开始努力了。要开始为自己的未来着想了。不能在堕落地等待。不能再因为觉得挫败而不去尝试。来到这里总记得要常常微笑。对自己要有信心一点 :) haha 真的感觉到了要长大了。。。不知为什么突然很感性可是我仍然还想着你们。总会知道你们在的地方永远是我第一个家。可是现在大家也该长大了。不再互相依靠,当然要相聚也不难我们还是可以像以前一样坐在一起三八haha 可是同时也会有东西慢慢地、偷偷地在变。我们察觉不到可是它是存在的。不知不觉,过了一个短短的考试,经过了这段时间终于体会到了这个变化。我并不排斥,也不想再逃避。想回家可是也没有办法呀还好我这里还不错。haha 是时候长大了,为了自己的前途,不断地努力,让父母觉得安慰,觉得自己没有对不起自己,反而得到想要的,really feel like you've used your ability to achieve something useful in life so you don't feel wasted ( I like that feeling :) haha )偶尔想家,这样就够了。应该是这样吧。Life is still full of lessons to learn and it goes on...and from now on, I will learn them with an open heart ( I get ups and downs too and Life is Full of those!Haha~!) I'm not saying I'll be perfect but I'll try to be better. Each and everyday... To all my Concord friends, Good luck to all of us! Let us work hard! haha thank you to those who have been there for me.I really appreciate it and well let's just work hard TOGETHER all the way! FULL BLAST! haha To all my Tawau friends, I miss you guys as always~ HAHA just loved how things used to be haha and no matter where you guys are work hard too! cause we have to grow up one day! and I believe it is time! ahha =.= well good luck to all of us in the life ahead... Something to ponder on: Never underestimate yourself but never overestimate yourself as well~ haha cheers!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

If it was because of a scar in your heart that caused you to change... I accept it
If it was because someone hurt you so badly that caused you to change...I accept it
If it was because of this, you start to change to who you are today...I accept it
'Cause I'm your friend and I'm supposed to be there for you and if you were looking for some source to heal this pain...I'll be there...because I'm your friend and if this was how it was going to be...I won't blame you cause you were hurt too. I would forgive you and understand you...I would be there for you...even though it means hurting myself :')

Because...well, I am your friend. Haha~ and probably because I can get over it...and will get over it haha again~as long if it mends that heart of yours...anything will be fine with me...'Cause...
I'm your friend :)

Haha~

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

No matter how many times one goes through a heartbreak... never can she get used to it...nor can she ignore it...and in the end it still hurts like crap...

Monday, March 14, 2011

A forgiveness that never came...

Dear you,



Hey! It has been 3 months now... How are you? I just wanna know whether you're doing OK in your homework. Or are you getting enough help that you need... I know I wasn't the best help you had... I couldn't finish what I've started...I've never finished what I've started... So you probably think I'm quite worthless to begin with well, erm...I'm sorry...

I just wanna know how have you been because I know how you are and you're always not tellin anyone stuff...I always wanted to be the one you would tell stuff to...Let's just say I was almost there =( OK... getting a little personal...=.=



Well, there's just so much things I wanna know...Are your lifetime dreams still the same? Do you still want to achieve the things you once told me about? One of the reasons I still have mine cause you wanna be one too and you're not giving up and maybe one day we can be I dunno== friends?=.= I just wanna ask so many things but I dunno where to start...cause I don't even know how our friendship sort of partially ended...I don't know what I wanna know...I wanna know if you've forgiven me...I wanna know if you've changed...I wanna know...well I dunno... :)

Haha anyway, it's been 3 months so...I won't blame you if you don't want to =.=



anyway...I'm fine here...I know you don't wanna know..er...You should've came too! You should come this Septemeber! Haha hopefully you will...erm...

what else?



Just update me on things happening k?

cause I wanna know and I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry...





Sandra



It's not that I didn't care...It's because well I dunno I was probably a bitch after I found another source of happiness... but I couldn't help it (lookin for excuses for myself=.=Well now I've got my 报应 haha...) well I really thought I couldnt cause I didnt know what to do next...I gave up hope I didnt know what my next step should be I was expecting a forgiveness one day..anyday...but it never came...I'm sorry but I really care and as a friend I wanna know...



I'm typin it on my blog for a reason... haha cause I know...that no matter where I type it...There wouldn't be a reply...




Forgive me? =.= haiz 算了啦。。。

I once thought about loads of things how things changed the past few months and that so many conflicts going on...How am I supposed to solve everything blah blah blah well it's a 38 persons basic instincts I guess haha...then I notice that I have sooo many issues myself...Haha...CHeers people~! I once thought I've learnt a lot of life lessons and stuff but I just found out that there are still so many more...and maybe sometimes they're just the same ones repeating themselves over and over again...But even if it does, it still doesn't make it any easier trying to get through them...all over again...especially if it's concerning our loved ones...And I have so many issues now...I'm freakin out=.=
Spending less time on Facebook because it shows me things that I don't wanna see...
Spending less time on Skype because people keep telling me things that I don't wanna hear...

I'm halfway across the world struggling...That's why I'm keeping myself busy
because I know it's just me...

Spending less time on things that make me feel closer to you...because the truth is...You're so far away...

Friday, March 11, 2011

I never knew... I never guessed that you would go around doing the same thing to other girls...
I admit it was me... I never liked you or maybe I was just about to...again but I dunno... I just know that i feel like crap now...In fact, I feel worse than that...

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sometimes it's just really maybe you try to hard...
some things just don't go the way you want them to be... trying harder is just not working out... sigh

Monday, January 17, 2011

If we could just stop all this...
If we could just rewind time...
If we could just understand...
If we could just tolerate...
If we could just stop doing childish things...
If we could just stop and think...
If we could just pretend nothing happened...
If we could stop being prejudice...
If we could just all have a new start...
If we could just stop hating...
If we could just stop hating each other...
But I know now's a little too late...But I still wish it wasn't true...
Ha what am I sayin they're all nothing but 'If's

This wasn't how things were meant to be... High School Drama was supposed to happen between us and other people...So that us great friends can sit around and talk about it, gossip about it...It wasn't supposed to happen between the 'us' we've built a long time ago...Even if it does, we're supposed to get through it together...Learn from our mistakes...Feel sorry if we do something wrong...Not feel happy or proud about it...We tell each other what's wrong...We understand, we admit, we tolerate, we apologize, we change...we forgive...High School Drama was supposed to be a lesson for us...Not something that brings us apart...High School Drama was supposed to end a month ago when we ended high school=.=... High School Drama should have been left behind a long time ago...It wasn't supposed to follow on...High School Drama was supposed to prove to us how strong we stand...How friendship bonds were stronger than ANY type of chemical bond...High School Drama should have ended...So that we can still be great friends at the end of it...And know how much we need each other at the end of the day...Even Toy Story characters learn better than we do =( High School Drama wasn't supposed to live on...Especially not among us...


High School Drama was just drama! It was just a play...Can we all stop acting now...?


Love,
Sandra.
in tears...


P/S: I rather everything were my fault, I'm sorry...I really am...Please...just stop...
And everything would be back to normal again...

I guess I took everything for granted, I always thought I didn't have to worry about my friends...This friendship we have...would always be there...we were always one...always together...although maybe not physically...but at least mentally...sometimes it's not about who wins a war...It's not about who lays down their pride or whatever...It's not about how only we feel...It's not about looking desperate or clinging onto...It's not about who wants or doesn't...It's about 'us', remember? the thing we spent years building... the thing we covered our blood and sweat in =P (Sounds disgusting but yeah=.=) the thing we put all our trust in...The thing we put all our patience in...The thing we all once knew it would last...or should I say, the thing we all once thought it would last=(... the thing we all once hoped it would last...Everybody thinks they're right..in what they're doing...thinking this is some form of revenge and stuff...thinking that it's alright to lose one or two friends...
If we could just care about how she or he feels...I'm sorry to all of you...I'm sorry for sending that message to you...I shouldn't have said anything...I should have just shut up...I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions from one side of the story...We know each other too well...We know he or she wouldn't do such a thing...Things that would hurt our friends...I dunno who's fault is it...I dunno who's to blame...And if we just could stop blaming each other...I'm sorry...

退让一步,海阔天空。。。

Even if you wanna start from, "Hi, my name is Sandra, what's yours?" I'm willing to...And I'm gonna try my best to keep this friendship alive...one way or another...
I'm keeping all of you...for now... =)

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Good Morning SUNSHINE~~!!! or should I say Good morning to the gloomy clouds hovering overhead=.=
Meet English Weather, known for it's depressing-ness, gloominess and greyness..=.= It is now already 10 pm here and it's time for me to sleep :) but it is time for the TAwaunese to wake up and at least you get to shout Hello Shunshine=.=
The sun does not rise until it's 8am at my place=.= and it sets at what 5pm? very short daylight indeed~
Well I guess it's cool that we have this variety of weather instead of having a hot sun dangling up in the sky all day or should I say whole year =) ahah no? anywayyyyyyyyyyy
I'm stuck in a little town called Shrewsbury(it's not bad y know haha) and it's raining almost everyday it's like its weather pattern=.= can't do much about it haha It was snowing Last Friday though and the whole school was blanketed in pure white snow =)
THe snow was just the right depth, not too thick to drench all our boots or any kinda shoe=.=, just thick enough for a snowball or a failure snowman =)
Well today is a Friday which makes tomorrow a Saturday (well duhhhhhh =.=) and routines on saturday's is that we have tests=.=
yeap on every saturday yipee=.=

Guess I could adapt to this lifestyle, I mean I'm so much hardworking than before! It's maybe due to prep time though=.= (Note: prep time is a time when you do your own homework or revision)
I have so many activities I could join, a well equipped gym/ sports hall etc.
ha im busy busy all the way and i like that feeling-being busy
Wake up 7am
Breakfast 7.50am
Tutor 8.40am
Class 9am
break 11am
class 11.20am
lunch 12.30pm
class 1.20pm
finsh school at 4pm=.=
twilight time is for activities or breaktime
prep is 5.30pm to 6.30pm
Supper 6.30pm tp 7.10pm
Prep 7.10pm to 8.10pm
then you could go to the gym bla bla bla
until 10 you go back to your room
=)
all these apply on week days it's different on sats and suns
sat room check time is 1 am teehee haaha after tests you can do anythin you want ahha except get drunk/smoke/take drugs=.=
sun is a free day =)
there you have it my lifestyle that's gonna be for a year and a half
cheers~! everyone and i hope everyone's having a great life too~ back home or anywhere in the world Play Hard Study Hard =) cheers~! and may all dreams be achieved one day~
I guess this is how ppl feel when they start to grow up?? ==
haha seeya~!