Celebrating the Difference One Individual Makes! - Alicia Altorfer-Ong

As the milestone of 365 days of Gratitude approaches, I've been thinking about how I want my next year of practice to look.  Psychology suggests that establishing a new practice takes 21 days but experience has shown that in all things, becoming rooted in that practice takes much longer.  At nearly a year, I believe I am firmly rooted in daily gratitude and I would like to focus on one of the other practices we have added as a result of increased gratitude - Service.  

As part of this focus on Service, and as part of my commitment to Action For Happiness to promote happiness in the world, I will be featuring individuals who demonstrate that a single individual can make a difference in the world, doing what they can, where they can, with what they have.

Hair for Hope / Children's Cancer Foundation 

An Interview with Alicia Altorfer-Ong

I first met Alicia in grad school in London.  She is one of the most intelligent and articulate people I know.  Over more than a decade, we have met on 3 continents and maintained our friendship via email, Facebook and Skype.  I am in awe of how she managed to complete her PhD whilst moving countries (twice!), getting married and having two children.  She is a woman who is up to a challenge.

 

What has always struck me about Alicia is how she engages with people.  I don't know anyone with more friends and colleagues than she has, or anyone with a more active and engaged community life.  She moves in any circle with charm and grace and demonstrates a commitment to act on her values.  Alicia has always been one to promote the best efforts of those in her international community.  And when I say she promotes them - she not only talks up new businesses and causes, she always is the first to patronise a businesses and put her energy behind a good cause.

She is humble and would blush at this introduction, but that, my friends is also part of her charm.  I don't think she really believes that what she does is exceptional and her belief that we can all make a difference, big or small, has been one of my inspirations for the past decade.

Tell us a little about yourself for our readers?

I have a seven year old daughter, Anne, and five year old son, Leo. I'm Singaporean and my husband, Stefan, is Swiss. I am a historical researcher, writer, corporate trainer, voice artiste and am pleased to say that there is a new project in the works.


Photo by: Suasti Lye

What is the latest charity project in which you are involved?

Hair for Hope is a campaign by the not-for-profit Children's Cancer Foundation in Singapore. Those who've volunteered to participate will have our heads shaved at the end of July as an act of solidarity with children who have cancer. The funds raised through Hair for Hope will go towards the children and their families.

 

About Children's Cancer Foundation's iconic fundraiser Hair for Hope:

Hair for Hope began in 2003 to raise funds for the work of CCF.  Children's Cancer Foundation supports children with cancer and the families of these children.  There are over 100 different childhood cancers that can occur anywhere in the body.  

In 2003, Hair for Hope began with 9 volunteers raising $2,000.  Last year, the fundraiser had grown dramatically, grossing $3.29 million in donations with 6,656 volunteers . Of the funds raised, only 5.4% went towards event expenses, with the remainder funding FREE critical programmes/services for children with cancer and their families.  Services include Casework Management, Counselling and the provision of one-stop Family Support Centres in local hospitals. 

CCF considers volunteer shavees like Alicia to be Ambassadors, raising awareness of childhood cancer through their families, friends, colleagues and communities.   More about CCF and their work can be found at http://www.ccf.org.sg/index.htm

 

Why does this particular cause appeal to you?

There are many important and appealing causes that would benefit from our support. The Children's Cancer Foundation is but one of them and is the charity that I've chosen to support this year.

I am drawn to the idea of showing solidarity with children suffering from cancer and my ultimate aim is to raise funds and rally support for the CCF and to be a more compassionate person.

You're a very compassionate person!  I understand that you will be shaving your head on 26 July to raise funds for Hair for Hope this year.  What is your greatest fear about shaving your head?

Nearly all my personal fears have to do with vanity. What if I have a flat/cone head? Should I powder my scalp too? What if my skin breaks out and I have nothing to hide behind? How long will my hair take to grow to a decent length? How long before I can colour my roots again? Will people take me less seriously when I'm bald? Will they laugh, especially when I'm out with Stefan, who is also bald? Will I get a lot of unwanted stares when I'm out? How will my kids feel?

Despite the little doubts that have crossed my mind, I don't think that shaving my head is all that drastic. My mother begs to differ, of course! She's still in a mild state of shock about this. I'm sure I will appreciate my hair and health even more after the deed is done. My hair will grow back and that comforts me. But someone who has cancer may not have that certainty. Having hair (or not) might be less of an issue when there are more serious health concerns.

 

When I first told my kids about Hair for Hope, Anne was rather troubled. "But Mummy, I don't want to be bald!" I explained that I was going to shave my head and that I wasn't asking her to shave hers. I think they understand my reasons for doing this, but they'll still be shocked on 26 July.

I'll still be me! I will continue to fulfill my respective roles, just without hair.

What would you say to those who would like to be of service but who are afraid that their small efforts don't add up to much or who are afraid to take such bold moves?

Each of us can help in our own way! 

My husband, Stefan, has told his colleagues about this and many of them have been extremely generous even though they don't know me. My mother is telling her pioneer generation friends, who've been very supportive too. She helps them navigate the online donation process. So many people have chipped in and shared words of encouragement. You are writing about this campaign -- thank you! 

Thank YOU for being the first to participate in this new feature on my blog.  And I am sure that Children with Cancer would want to thank you personally as well.  

If our readers would like to, how can they support you? 

Donations would be gratefully received at:

https://hairforhope.org.sg/shaveeProfile/5212 

 

 The final day for pledges is 31 August, 2015

 

 

Good Luck, Alicia and thank you for your inspiring act!  We will be cheering you on 26 July, 2015 as you make your Bald Statement.

Photos courtesy of Alicia Altorfer Ong and Tania D Campbell.  

HfH icon and pledge page courtesy of Hair for Hope, Children's Cancer Foundation, Singapore



Reflections on Gratitude, Joy, Oneness and Service at Day 180

Well, I made it to my goal. It wasn't easy. The first 90 were sure easier than the last 90. I am grateful that I worked my way through the pain, the boredom, the what's the point of this? moments over the last 90 days to get here. You might be wondering what it was for...I mean...so what?  So, I did 180 days - big whoop!

Well, it is a big whoop and although I write a reflections post every 15 days (ish), today was really the first time I took time to celebrate the milestone and to reflect on what it has meant for me.  And oddly, for the first time, I'd rather contain the reflection within and say little about it.  I know this is a blog and the point of a blog is to write, but I'm going to go with my gut on this.  Perhaps something more is percolating.

In the past 6 months, this practice has opened my heart, both to love and to serve.  And in so doing, it has made me incredibly joyful, even under trying circumstances.  And those circumstances...based on my attitude, have transformed into blessings.  Oh, another added side effect is that I have become more creative and my attitude is reflected in my photography which gets more and more beautiful every day...not because I've gained skill...I've gained the eye to see the beauty all around me.

For me, I think this is the longest that I have consistently practiced any spiritual practice. Yes, I practiced yoga for years but every day? No. Yes I meditated several times a day when I was at the ashram....but I never kept that up. Now...Now...this is habit. And its up to me to decide whether this is a habit that adds value to my life or not....I am sure you can assess for yourselves whether gratitude is a value-add proposition or not.

 And, I'm guessing you have assessed that it is.

You see, I keep going back to the whole reason I tried this. Gratitude has always been my favourite spiritual practice, because it makes one feel good. Well...kind of. What they don't tell you is that it just makes you FEEL. What you feel - well that depends on what is on the mirror of your heart that needs cleaning. I have a lot of grief that is covering up my soul's mirror and it has to come out.

I think that we guard ourselves against the emotional dust and distract ourselves so we don't have to feel it. Sometimes we medicate ourselves. But spiritual practice blows up the dust and it comes out when you least expect it. Today, I was dancing and singing in my room, getting ready to get out in the sunshine for a walk and maybe some photos. Then the happy song on the radio changed to Adele's 'Someone Like You'.

 That song has always been an ex's crying song - over the woman he dated after me. But this time, I collapsed into a very young place and sobbed. Wow. From the heights of joy to the depths of despair in less than 6 seconds. I don't know how normal this is...but I do know I'm not bipolar or anything. It is simply the results of opening the heart. What's in comes out.

And I've got some major dusting to do.

Six months.

It felt impossible. It certainly felt improbable. And let's be honest, I didn't make it. I fell off the wagon and had to backtrack to keep counting the days. And, on more than one occasion. But the key is - I didn't give up.

And that is the thing about spiritual practice. The ego will try to get us to give up - it doesn't want to be threatened by our awareness of our true selves. But, as Patanjali said at least a couple thousand years ago - peace/enlightenment is gained only one way - with spiritual practice that is consistent, conducted for a long time, and in all earnestness.

So...6 months is a drop in the bucket.

I've learned a lot about myself along the way, my symptoms improved and nearly disappeared (until I flew and suffered jet lag)and I opened my heart. My life is happier and I have a focus to my day.

So why would I stop?

I'm not going to set the next target (270 days) because the ego will try to stop me along the way. I'm just going to keep showing up, for a long time, consistently, in earnestness. But we know where we're headed.

I hope you'll join me for the rest of this adventure.

...Only by dusting off the mirror of the soul through our spiritual practice can we truly see ourselves as we are...not as a disparate collection of wavy and incomplete lines but as the tree of life ...

Namaste my friends...the light in me salutes the light in you...and it reflects just a little bit brighter with a little less dust covering it.


See you tomorrow.

And every day after...

xx