Family....
I guess now i'm in a state where i really value and prioritise on family above than anything else. As i age, my view of the family really changes over time. Right now, i just want to spend as much time as possible before we all 'grow-up' and have our own separate lives. I still wanna spend time with my siblings and my parents before we all busy ourselves with work, marriage or building up our own family. I'm constantly missing them more and more these few years. As much as i love travelling, I would rather spend time with them.
People asked me why I go back again so soon. But it's CNY! And i dont spend that many new year with them and it's a question that i would always answer 'why not?'. I've not spend many new years with them and now with my parents getting old and my siblings getting older, I would want to spend as much time with them. I dont want to regret later in life for not spending enough time with them.
Family are the people who will stick with you through and thin. Family is the one who always support you and they always think for the best of us. They care about us the most! They love us the most. No matter what we do, nothing can change the fact that they are our family members. Once we try to bring the relationship closer, it will be strong. When all the members care about the family, nothing can shake or break the relationship.
This change in me really shocked me at first but i realise that it comes with maturity, especially when I've been away from them for so long. I always envy those who have a good relationship with their families and at times i do yearn for one. And finally now when i try to do my part and have that special bond, it's a really good feeling and I dont even want to not feel it anymore. God put me into this family so it has to be good. Everything that I have comes from Him and He planned everything out in His book even before He created the earth. (Psalm 139:1-17) . Now i really appreciate things that He gave me, the trials and the testing period that He carefully put me into. I find that now I have really grown and changed.
The way God works in our lives really amazes me. The way He loves ALL OF US truly surprises me. Despite our shortcomings and sinful nature, He washed them away and assured us the Kingdom of Heaven. His Grace and Mercy really surpass all understanding.
Some of us feel that by doing good, we are good natured and will go to somewhere better in the after life, even without accepting Christ. But all these doing good was all but just a guideline. If we live by a guideline, Christ's redemption is fruitless. A guideline is just a guideline, it doesnt guarantee salvation. Salvation is only through our Christ Jesus.
And He never quit on us. No matter how difficult it gets, remember God never quit on us. Dont quit on Him.
Wednesday, January 30
Monday, January 28
Thursday, January 24
Today I cannot be anymore thankful to Him. I just experienced something so wonderful when i just let go of myself and let Him be in control. Words just came out of my mouth and everything was in His control.
I had my presentation today and I was pretty nervous as I dont know what to expect and I had learnt that the examiner is someone who asked smart questions. And truthfully i had a problem with those smart questions. Ask me basic questions why i do this and that, I may still be able to give you an answer. But technical stuff is not my forte. Furthermore I had been feeling that I am slow in my progress and not much is done. It was bogging me down and sort of confused my confidence and I dont know how I can be sure if I'm not. It was really nerve-wrecking. I had to do a lot of reading up last night after listening to my supervisors on the kind of thing that they may ask.
Last night I wrote down what i wanted to say and prepared some answers for the possible questions. I kept reading it over and over this morning while waiting for my turn, but the brain wasnt working. So i said a prayer! Waiting was really torturing. About half hour before my turn, I went up to my lab and my supervisor was there again preparing me for the questions and we both sat down and googled for answers. 15 minutes before my turn, i went down and waited outside the room. The examiner came at the same time as me. But he met someone and went in to another room. I spent that time thinking of what to say. Then a SMS came, "jia you.... remember to say a prayer before you say anything." And i spent the rest of the waiting time praying, and I remember i said "i'm letting go of this and please take control. i'm leaving it all in Your hands. Control every part of me. " the burden was so much lighter right after that.
When the guy before me finished, the examiner was preparing to come in and chatted a while with me. He was really nice, but that made it worse, i guess as nice lectures have scary questions. But he did say that he had wanted a short and sweet presentation.
So i went in and started on my presentation. Well, i was nervous but this time round, words came out of my mouth more easily. In fact i didnt feel that i was myself. I could feel that it's Him taking the rein. I finished it in 10 minutes, right at the stipulated time. By right it should be a 15 minutes thing with 5 minutes of Q&A. But lo and behold, the examiner didnt ask me anything, my supervisor didnt ask me anything. In fact they both gave me an advice on how i should approach my testing. I was amazed and at that moment I know that it was all God's work. Because i know and i felt it. It was an amazing feeling! And i cant really describe it in words, but it left me feeling peaceful and serene.
" Take my life and make it Yours, Lord
Fill it with Your love
You are all I need
I surrender all of me "
- Selah- All of Me
I had my presentation today and I was pretty nervous as I dont know what to expect and I had learnt that the examiner is someone who asked smart questions. And truthfully i had a problem with those smart questions. Ask me basic questions why i do this and that, I may still be able to give you an answer. But technical stuff is not my forte. Furthermore I had been feeling that I am slow in my progress and not much is done. It was bogging me down and sort of confused my confidence and I dont know how I can be sure if I'm not. It was really nerve-wrecking. I had to do a lot of reading up last night after listening to my supervisors on the kind of thing that they may ask.
Last night I wrote down what i wanted to say and prepared some answers for the possible questions. I kept reading it over and over this morning while waiting for my turn, but the brain wasnt working. So i said a prayer! Waiting was really torturing. About half hour before my turn, I went up to my lab and my supervisor was there again preparing me for the questions and we both sat down and googled for answers. 15 minutes before my turn, i went down and waited outside the room. The examiner came at the same time as me. But he met someone and went in to another room. I spent that time thinking of what to say. Then a SMS came, "jia you.... remember to say a prayer before you say anything." And i spent the rest of the waiting time praying, and I remember i said "i'm letting go of this and please take control. i'm leaving it all in Your hands. Control every part of me. " the burden was so much lighter right after that.
When the guy before me finished, the examiner was preparing to come in and chatted a while with me. He was really nice, but that made it worse, i guess as nice lectures have scary questions. But he did say that he had wanted a short and sweet presentation.
So i went in and started on my presentation. Well, i was nervous but this time round, words came out of my mouth more easily. In fact i didnt feel that i was myself. I could feel that it's Him taking the rein. I finished it in 10 minutes, right at the stipulated time. By right it should be a 15 minutes thing with 5 minutes of Q&A. But lo and behold, the examiner didnt ask me anything, my supervisor didnt ask me anything. In fact they both gave me an advice on how i should approach my testing. I was amazed and at that moment I know that it was all God's work. Because i know and i felt it. It was an amazing feeling! And i cant really describe it in words, but it left me feeling peaceful and serene.
" Take my life and make it Yours, Lord
Fill it with Your love
You are all I need
I surrender all of me "
- Selah- All of Me
Tuesday, January 22
One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
"In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
"I would not quit." He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots."
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. " Don't compare yourself to others .." He said.
" The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern ... Yet, they both make the forest beautiful."
Your time will come, " God said to me. " You will rise high! " How high should I rise?" I asked.
How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can? " I questioned.
" Yes. " He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can. "
I left the forest and bring back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
He will never give up on you.
Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you happiness
Bad days give you experiences;
Both are essential to life.
A happy and meaningful life requires our continuous input and creativity.
It does not happen by chance. It happens because of our choices and actions.
And each day we are given new opportunities to choose and act and, in doing so, we create our own unique journey." Keep going...
Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!
Thursday, January 17
"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."
Phillipians 2: 14-16
Just a word of encouragement for those struggling with the going ons in life... including me...
Phillipians 2: 14-16
Just a word of encouragement for those struggling with the going ons in life... including me...
How's life?
It's a question that i always have 'Okay' for an answer. When i'm not okay, i still say it and when i'm feeling great, i still say the same. But now if u ask me this question, I would have to answer, ' It can't get any better than this.'
And really i've been thinking i'm taking 5 modules! and i have my FYP, which i'm supposed to devote about 10 hours a week for it, but somehow it's turning out fine. Maybe it's just the beginning. These few days had been busy with preparing and writing out my interim report progress on the FYP. It's tough really, especially when i'm just trying to breeze through things. I guess now that i'm letting Him take over me, He is the one doing everything right, because i believe I can't do all these by myself.
My postgrad supervisor was so nice today telling me what i should be saying and not be saying. He explained more things and why there is a need to do what I did. It's really amazing cos normally he's the kind that will drop ur workload and you find out more about it yourself. I have a great professor in charge who is always so kind to seek out help for me. He's also not demanding and he's very kind in guiding me in what I should be doing for the project. Without all these help, i dont think i can make it.
My lifestyle has gone a bit healthy lifestyle too. No time for late nights on weekends, since each day of the weekend i have to get up early. And i'm not in the least sad or wishing for more time to sleep in. I just sleep early and wake up early. And it does make me feel better and less letargic.
Well all i'm feeling now is how much i love God and am really thankful for working within me. I guess with the study of the precept, I can feel myself growing deeper and how God is constantly reminding me. Currently we are doing on the book of Galatians and i relate a lot with them. How easy is it to falter and how my sword of truth is so dull and cannot withstand any attacks. But i feel encouraged by what Paul says and it's a constant reminder to me to trust and have faith. With the study on Ephesians, there are also a lot of slapping moments. How we should live our lives as a holy and pleasing life to God. I dont own my life, God has it. He's the Father and who else, but He would know better as to how I should live it.
It's a question that i always have 'Okay' for an answer. When i'm not okay, i still say it and when i'm feeling great, i still say the same. But now if u ask me this question, I would have to answer, ' It can't get any better than this.'
And really i've been thinking i'm taking 5 modules! and i have my FYP, which i'm supposed to devote about 10 hours a week for it, but somehow it's turning out fine. Maybe it's just the beginning. These few days had been busy with preparing and writing out my interim report progress on the FYP. It's tough really, especially when i'm just trying to breeze through things. I guess now that i'm letting Him take over me, He is the one doing everything right, because i believe I can't do all these by myself.
My postgrad supervisor was so nice today telling me what i should be saying and not be saying. He explained more things and why there is a need to do what I did. It's really amazing cos normally he's the kind that will drop ur workload and you find out more about it yourself. I have a great professor in charge who is always so kind to seek out help for me. He's also not demanding and he's very kind in guiding me in what I should be doing for the project. Without all these help, i dont think i can make it.
My lifestyle has gone a bit healthy lifestyle too. No time for late nights on weekends, since each day of the weekend i have to get up early. And i'm not in the least sad or wishing for more time to sleep in. I just sleep early and wake up early. And it does make me feel better and less letargic.
Well all i'm feeling now is how much i love God and am really thankful for working within me. I guess with the study of the precept, I can feel myself growing deeper and how God is constantly reminding me. Currently we are doing on the book of Galatians and i relate a lot with them. How easy is it to falter and how my sword of truth is so dull and cannot withstand any attacks. But i feel encouraged by what Paul says and it's a constant reminder to me to trust and have faith. With the study on Ephesians, there are also a lot of slapping moments. How we should live our lives as a holy and pleasing life to God. I dont own my life, God has it. He's the Father and who else, but He would know better as to how I should live it.
Thursday, January 10
I'll be home for xin nian!!! (I'll be home for Christmas tune..)
I thought my mum wouldnt agree but who knows the moment i said it, she agreed right away. I had been thinking about going back for CNY ever since i knew that CNY is on midweek. I'll be going on the day before eve so that i can help my mum out a little for the preparations. I'll come back on a monday (the ticket is cheaper!)
So Happy now! =p... I had been feeling that my recent 2 weeks with them was really insufficient and i just want to spend more time with them. Been missing all the noise and all the joy and warmth of my family. Now that we are all grown up, we are more together now. And after our meal at home, the family just gather and chit chat at our family room over desserts. It's so simple and heartwarming and yet it's only achievable when the whole family is complete.
ANyway in the meantime i must concentrate on my FYP these 2 weeks! These 2 weeks i have to prepare an interim report and also to prepare for my progress presentation. I hope i am on track.. I'm dying le.... these 2 days i've been slacking and i know now i must buck up. The deadline just came in today. I got a shocked and kind of in a panicky state now, but im gonna try my best to finish it all up. Unlike nata's, she can bring her FYP everywhere. Mine is pretty much in school and u know, it's such a dread to be going to school. In anycase, im determined to graduate this year, so JIA YOU!!!!
Jia you people....
I thought my mum wouldnt agree but who knows the moment i said it, she agreed right away. I had been thinking about going back for CNY ever since i knew that CNY is on midweek. I'll be going on the day before eve so that i can help my mum out a little for the preparations. I'll come back on a monday (the ticket is cheaper!)
So Happy now! =p... I had been feeling that my recent 2 weeks with them was really insufficient and i just want to spend more time with them. Been missing all the noise and all the joy and warmth of my family. Now that we are all grown up, we are more together now. And after our meal at home, the family just gather and chit chat at our family room over desserts. It's so simple and heartwarming and yet it's only achievable when the whole family is complete.
ANyway in the meantime i must concentrate on my FYP these 2 weeks! These 2 weeks i have to prepare an interim report and also to prepare for my progress presentation. I hope i am on track.. I'm dying le.... these 2 days i've been slacking and i know now i must buck up. The deadline just came in today. I got a shocked and kind of in a panicky state now, but im gonna try my best to finish it all up. Unlike nata's, she can bring her FYP everywhere. Mine is pretty much in school and u know, it's such a dread to be going to school. In anycase, im determined to graduate this year, so JIA YOU!!!!
Jia you people....
Monday, January 7
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I know it's 6 days after the new year! Time really flies and I'm officially 5 months away from graduating. God has really been gracious to me. He never once left my side all these while and I'm really thankful and grateful for it. All the trials and all the difficult times, He helped me through it and in the process, I grow up spiritually and mentally stronger than before. He also opened my eyes to the things that He put in my way and the vision of His purpose for me is becoming clearer. I realised that all these years I have been taking Him for granted, choosing in what I want to serve rather than taking up the job that He offered me. I am really thankful that God did not give up on me.
This year I will be serving in my church youth's service, in terms of scripture reading as well as being one of the ushers. It's totally a new thing for me and this time round I didnt really think or consider much before I said yes. Since the service will all be at 8.30 that would means that when i have my duties, I would have to reach church at 7.45am. So definitely no more late night Saturdays for me. It's not that bad cos I know that I'm fulfilling His will and it's more meaningful than any other things.
Anyway, i just got back and the silly thing is I came back a week earlier from the start of school. But i guess it's a good thing too, cos that means i can concentrate on FYP this whole week. Right now it's more or less over the testing period. I have to start collating the data.
My holiday was fun! Went to Bali and had a great trip there and i got tanned quite a bit instead of the usual redness. My face is pretty tanned. I tried quite a bit of stuff over there. I tried wide water rafting, sea walking, and the banana boat. Rafting was pretty ok, the river was quite calm actually so it wasnt that bad. I did fall in once. The view of the river was really beautiful. Sea walking was cool too. We had to don the astronaut helmet and start swim-walking on the sea bed. This time, the company is really great too. Mei and Stef came along for the trip. Together with Joseph and Natalie's family and An too. We are also more 'on' to getting wet on the beaches. Normally we hardly get dirty and wet. The view and dinner at Jimbaran was fantastic. I loved the sunset view and we had a fun time taking pictures over there. My poor lil sister had to take care of the table and couldn't join us. The grilled seafood was fantastic too and I cant get enough of it.
This trip is also a heavy-weight trip since I brought the 2 of them to eat all the various indo food. In the end, I also gained and they too gained weight. Though it was sinful, it was super delicious. I missed all the indo food. Even on the last day, my parents were feeding me with lots of things. Lontong Balap, sweet mangoes, udang petai, kare ayam, soto mie. And it was only half a day and i ate that much things.
Last night when i came back, suddenly the feeling is all different and it's like so quiet here. The past 2 weeks, I had friends who accompany me all the way, siblings who shared the room with me. Parents who dote on me. Last night i came back to my empty and messy room! and i let out a sigh...
I know it's 6 days after the new year! Time really flies and I'm officially 5 months away from graduating. God has really been gracious to me. He never once left my side all these while and I'm really thankful and grateful for it. All the trials and all the difficult times, He helped me through it and in the process, I grow up spiritually and mentally stronger than before. He also opened my eyes to the things that He put in my way and the vision of His purpose for me is becoming clearer. I realised that all these years I have been taking Him for granted, choosing in what I want to serve rather than taking up the job that He offered me. I am really thankful that God did not give up on me.
This year I will be serving in my church youth's service, in terms of scripture reading as well as being one of the ushers. It's totally a new thing for me and this time round I didnt really think or consider much before I said yes. Since the service will all be at 8.30 that would means that when i have my duties, I would have to reach church at 7.45am. So definitely no more late night Saturdays for me. It's not that bad cos I know that I'm fulfilling His will and it's more meaningful than any other things.
Anyway, i just got back and the silly thing is I came back a week earlier from the start of school. But i guess it's a good thing too, cos that means i can concentrate on FYP this whole week. Right now it's more or less over the testing period. I have to start collating the data.
My holiday was fun! Went to Bali and had a great trip there and i got tanned quite a bit instead of the usual redness. My face is pretty tanned. I tried quite a bit of stuff over there. I tried wide water rafting, sea walking, and the banana boat. Rafting was pretty ok, the river was quite calm actually so it wasnt that bad. I did fall in once. The view of the river was really beautiful. Sea walking was cool too. We had to don the astronaut helmet and start swim-walking on the sea bed. This time, the company is really great too. Mei and Stef came along for the trip. Together with Joseph and Natalie's family and An too. We are also more 'on' to getting wet on the beaches. Normally we hardly get dirty and wet. The view and dinner at Jimbaran was fantastic. I loved the sunset view and we had a fun time taking pictures over there. My poor lil sister had to take care of the table and couldn't join us. The grilled seafood was fantastic too and I cant get enough of it.
This trip is also a heavy-weight trip since I brought the 2 of them to eat all the various indo food. In the end, I also gained and they too gained weight. Though it was sinful, it was super delicious. I missed all the indo food. Even on the last day, my parents were feeding me with lots of things. Lontong Balap, sweet mangoes, udang petai, kare ayam, soto mie. And it was only half a day and i ate that much things.
Last night when i came back, suddenly the feeling is all different and it's like so quiet here. The past 2 weeks, I had friends who accompany me all the way, siblings who shared the room with me. Parents who dote on me. Last night i came back to my empty and messy room! and i let out a sigh...
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