yes im on holiday already!! 3 months!!! hahaha... next week would make my way to HK.. (9-12th May) yeapp... cant wait. Anyway today didnt do much except hanging ard in Holland V after paper and ate my dinner at 4.. yes early dinner. And lydia was definitely estatic when she met her shuai ge at nydc too! and we were there seated next to his table. We talked for a while, but i dun really perceive him as a nice guy u know. He's just too unfriendly and a bit rude i guess. Or maybe he just doesnt know how to behave in front of 3 girls! hahaha.
She was definitely very self concious. while Fusta was asking her to flirt with him in indo of course. And all i could do was had goosebumps at the suggestions that i have to stop fusta from going into further details.
Anyway didnt do anythign except going to my student's house and give the 2 kids tuitions. and that's all! wanted to clean my toilet, iron my clothes. But looking at the time, i dun feel like now. HEhehehe.. lazy me.
Okay i guess im turning in now. Got church tomorrow. And im back in choir again =).
Anyway to stef: thanks so much for the sms. And u really msged at the rite time!!! Cos when i ended the paper, checked my phone and there was ur msg! and I WAS REALLY GRINNING! miss u gal!
Saturday, April 30
Friday, April 29
the end.
YES! tomorrow is my last day of exam!!! HURRAY!!! hahahaha.. yeah been dying for tomorrow to come though i havent done much of revising yet.
The whole day im at home, i just couldnt sit still and concentrate. Didnt think much about tomorrow though, but i dunno. Just want to watch tv and all the movies that i've downloaded. Last nite itself, spend the nite away watching "The Pacifier" and "Swordfish". Those two movies are great! Oh i was studying while watching. I know it's weird but i've been like that since young. Watching tv and studying simultaneously. Today, started studying in the afternoon after i ate lunch at 12. MAnaged to do some questions. At 2, my stomach became hungry again, so i ate pizza at 2. Then after that do a few questions and in between i just stand up, walk around my tiny room, walked to the hall and then back to doing more questions. After that at 4+ i got tempted to swim but seeing the dark sky, i abandoned the idea. But at 430 i couldn t resist the temptation and just went down for a half hour swim. Gosh it was refreshing! hahaha.. yeap felt so great after having not exercised for a long time. I must make it a point to swim weekly..
Lydia was like nagging at me already for going swimming instead of studying... hahaha and she was pushing me to concentrate for tomorrow's paper!!!
Oh anyway it was funny knowing that someone in my social circle cried the moment Constantine (AMI 4) got out of the competition. But it was truly shocking! Cos we all thought that he and Carrie ( Reese Witherspoon lookalike) would be the last 2!! It was unthinkable that he would be out!! And why is the bloddy Scott still inside???? haiyoh!!!
The whole day im at home, i just couldnt sit still and concentrate. Didnt think much about tomorrow though, but i dunno. Just want to watch tv and all the movies that i've downloaded. Last nite itself, spend the nite away watching "The Pacifier" and "Swordfish". Those two movies are great! Oh i was studying while watching. I know it's weird but i've been like that since young. Watching tv and studying simultaneously. Today, started studying in the afternoon after i ate lunch at 12. MAnaged to do some questions. At 2, my stomach became hungry again, so i ate pizza at 2. Then after that do a few questions and in between i just stand up, walk around my tiny room, walked to the hall and then back to doing more questions. After that at 4+ i got tempted to swim but seeing the dark sky, i abandoned the idea. But at 430 i couldn t resist the temptation and just went down for a half hour swim. Gosh it was refreshing! hahaha.. yeap felt so great after having not exercised for a long time. I must make it a point to swim weekly..
Lydia was like nagging at me already for going swimming instead of studying... hahaha and she was pushing me to concentrate for tomorrow's paper!!!
Oh anyway it was funny knowing that someone in my social circle cried the moment Constantine (AMI 4) got out of the competition. But it was truly shocking! Cos we all thought that he and Carrie ( Reese Witherspoon lookalike) would be the last 2!! It was unthinkable that he would be out!! And why is the bloddy Scott still inside???? haiyoh!!!
Thursday, April 28
not my day defintely.
when i say im worried but i know things gonna be alrite or turns out just fine... it turned the opposite for me this morning.. hell yeah!!! so angry with the stupid me! managed to finish studying maths and writing the helpsheet or cheatsheet u may say. Yeah u are allowed 2 A4 sheets of paper with anythign that u want to write in it. Normally we write formulas and i add examples to it to make sure i do not forget anything. I slept at 2 last nite woke up at 5 this morning just to finish the helpsheets.
My morning started with nata waking me up and then me going to bathe and done. And then went on to doing maths from 5 till 7 this morning. WHen im done, i packed up, putting some notes that i havent got the time to read in my plastic file. Then at 730 im off to school, since it was going to rain. And when it rains it is most likely to have traffic jams. After getting out of the house, i realised that i hvnt combed my hairr!!!! URGHHH bad hair day!!!
anyway i tend to have motion sickness when i have to read in the bus or moving vehicles. But i forced myself to read my notes to refresh my memory. It was a torture. I reached the school with faint feeling but guess i was fine after that. Oh yeah my exam was at 9 but i reached school at 815 *grinn* so tempted to find a place for myself to sleep but there was none. So made my way to the exam hall. decided just to sit outside the hall and sleep or read my stuff. Met my shuai ge there and he was sitting all alone so i decided to join him. SO we talked and talked and talked and once in a while revising our maths. Seeing that he was reading his helpsheet, i decided to read through mine as well. TO MY HORROR, i couldnt find it anywhere in the file. He comforted me and offered his help to look through my file while i check my bag. He looked through each page carefully in the file and i was so depressed k? At least didnt panick. So quickly called lydia but she left PGP already, so looked for Fanni, thank god she managed to zap hers. (zapped helpsheets arent allowed.) Then got the helpsheet, went into the hall, and get stuck with most of the stuff that they asked. I was really wishing for my own cheatsheet.. Fanni's one is pretty general and will be useful to those that is really fully-prepared. I could only do i think abt 2-3 questions out of 10 questions. I really have a bad feeling abt this one. The rest of the questions i just filll it in with formulas and things that i think maybe the answer. I couldnt care less. I just hoped that some of the crap that i wrote make sense and can give me some marks. I am really tired out now.
For now, all i want to do is to concentrate on my last paper... AND right now, i just wanna bury my head in my pillow, snuggle my bolster, smell my comforter and wrap myself in them.
If i can, i wanna blast my hi-fi off!!!!!!
forgot to add!!! another horror.. u see above i said zapped sheets are not allowed right? while doing my exam, each an invigilator passed by, i will just get stunned and hoped that they will just walked off... and do not notice the sheets. While being absorbed to finish as many questions, one invigilator stopped by me. And took my sheet. I was like "sharkkkksssssss!!! dieeeeee!!! please please dont take my only help here." She was looking at both sheets some moree!! I didnt dare to look up for fear she would just take it away from me. But thank GOD! she put it back again! I was "arhhhhaaiizzzzz"......
My morning started with nata waking me up and then me going to bathe and done. And then went on to doing maths from 5 till 7 this morning. WHen im done, i packed up, putting some notes that i havent got the time to read in my plastic file. Then at 730 im off to school, since it was going to rain. And when it rains it is most likely to have traffic jams. After getting out of the house, i realised that i hvnt combed my hairr!!!! URGHHH bad hair day!!!
anyway i tend to have motion sickness when i have to read in the bus or moving vehicles. But i forced myself to read my notes to refresh my memory. It was a torture. I reached the school with faint feeling but guess i was fine after that. Oh yeah my exam was at 9 but i reached school at 815 *grinn* so tempted to find a place for myself to sleep but there was none. So made my way to the exam hall. decided just to sit outside the hall and sleep or read my stuff. Met my shuai ge there and he was sitting all alone so i decided to join him. SO we talked and talked and talked and once in a while revising our maths. Seeing that he was reading his helpsheet, i decided to read through mine as well. TO MY HORROR, i couldnt find it anywhere in the file. He comforted me and offered his help to look through my file while i check my bag. He looked through each page carefully in the file and i was so depressed k? At least didnt panick. So quickly called lydia but she left PGP already, so looked for Fanni, thank god she managed to zap hers. (zapped helpsheets arent allowed.) Then got the helpsheet, went into the hall, and get stuck with most of the stuff that they asked. I was really wishing for my own cheatsheet.. Fanni's one is pretty general and will be useful to those that is really fully-prepared. I could only do i think abt 2-3 questions out of 10 questions. I really have a bad feeling abt this one. The rest of the questions i just filll it in with formulas and things that i think maybe the answer. I couldnt care less. I just hoped that some of the crap that i wrote make sense and can give me some marks. I am really tired out now.
For now, all i want to do is to concentrate on my last paper... AND right now, i just wanna bury my head in my pillow, snuggle my bolster, smell my comforter and wrap myself in them.
If i can, i wanna blast my hi-fi off!!!!!!
forgot to add!!! another horror.. u see above i said zapped sheets are not allowed right? while doing my exam, each an invigilator passed by, i will just get stunned and hoped that they will just walked off... and do not notice the sheets. While being absorbed to finish as many questions, one invigilator stopped by me. And took my sheet. I was like "sharkkkksssssss!!! dieeeeee!!! please please dont take my only help here." She was looking at both sheets some moree!! I didnt dare to look up for fear she would just take it away from me. But thank GOD! she put it back again! I was "arhhhhaaiizzzzz"......
Wednesday, April 27
what made my night.
To you three gorgeous gorgeous women, you can't even begin to imagine how much I wish you were next to me this very moment so I could hold you. I can't stop crying now remembering each of you and the different way you and you and you love me, and I've not cried (over missing someone) in the past 2 years.... I've never had to worry about finding one [soulmate] since for the past 8 years, I've been loved unconditionally by three. And trust me, I'm not the easiest person to love...drama queen that I am. But for some reason beyond my grasp, they didn't just choose to grow up with me, they also want to grow old with me. How kkrraaazy are those 3 lovely things?!
Hug.
This certainly made my night! I am here trying to rush through learning maths for tomorrow and yeah kinda worried for tomorrow though i know im gonna be fine. But the thought of not finishing my revision is getting into me. And when i opened up stef's blog, i saw this.. and maths flew away from me. And all that is in my mind was the wonderful times that we share together. THough there was a time that i didnt really contact them and there were misunderstandings, she still accept me and welcomed me back with open arms. That's how wonderful my friends are. 8 YEARS! 8 YEARS which equals to the time that i've spent in Singapore. And im pretty sure, i would not even had the chance to have such wonderful friends like them had i stayed on in indo.
U think friends forever is a cliche.... hey look at us!!! and we will grow old together dont we, guys? Love u all very much! =)
Hug.
This certainly made my night! I am here trying to rush through learning maths for tomorrow and yeah kinda worried for tomorrow though i know im gonna be fine. But the thought of not finishing my revision is getting into me. And when i opened up stef's blog, i saw this.. and maths flew away from me. And all that is in my mind was the wonderful times that we share together. THough there was a time that i didnt really contact them and there were misunderstandings, she still accept me and welcomed me back with open arms. That's how wonderful my friends are. 8 YEARS! 8 YEARS which equals to the time that i've spent in Singapore. And im pretty sure, i would not even had the chance to have such wonderful friends like them had i stayed on in indo.
U think friends forever is a cliche.... hey look at us!!! and we will grow old together dont we, guys? Love u all very much! =)
Tuesday, April 26
low concentration
goshh!!! im facing the time where im sick of studying and just want to play now.. arghhhh... i cant really sit still and do my work!!! and i have maths paper just the day after wed... and the thing is i havent touched maths for the longest time ever.. so yeahh im in deep trouble if i cant finish!!!!
arhhhhh really feeling sick sick sick!!! =( just wanna go and play!!!!!!!!
arhhhhh really feeling sick sick sick!!! =( just wanna go and play!!!!!!!!
Sunday, April 24
Saturday, April 23
finally it's here
okay decided not to continue adding since it's becoming too long! haha.. anyway yeap this is it.. im gonna sit for 2 papers this morning.. gotta wake up early morning tomorrow to read my law stuf.. yeap first time reading it!!! goodness thank god it was open booK!okay shall turn in now... need to sleep to last me thru the day tomorrow!! pray for me!!!
7 days to end.
well 2 papers down!!! now i can concentrate fully on maths... the next 2 papers are essay based so hopefully i can make it. physics today was baddddd... imagine i've been practising for 1 week on those difficult stuff and today, all those that i've practised just disappeared from my mind. I was really stuck! I finish 6 questions in 1/2 hour!!!! of cos skip the 1st 5... since i am always stuck! then finally i could do 6, 7 and 8. But the horrendous part is that there were lots of things to explain and seriously i was only practising on sums and not prepared to explain things.. But of cos i cant leave it blank. So i guess had to rely on my crapping skill to get me through those scattering photons and laws... My law mod went not bad i suppose though the time was really limited but hopefully i can score well for it. Trying to answer 5 essay questions within 2 hours is a tortureeee... and each carry such high marks that i was really running out of time. Whenever im stuck, i will just move on to the next and the next. At least i will get some marks here and there rather then not doing the question at all rite? but yeah didnt finish the last question and i think there were still missing part in qn 2... -_-!
but it's okay. im satisfied. At least didnt kancheong(get panicky) and forget all my stuff.
i forgot to add my thanks for my dear housemate who took the pain the wake me up when actually im already up and about. Nevertheless, thanks so much yah! will wake u up too when u have morning papers k? study hard...
7 days to end.
well 2 papers down!!! now i can concentrate fully on maths... the next 2 papers are essay based so hopefully i can make it. physics today was baddddd... imagine i've been practising for 1 week on those difficult stuff and today, all those that i've practised just disappeared from my mind. I was really stuck! I finish 6 questions in 1/2 hour!!!! of cos skip the 1st 5... since i am always stuck! then finally i could do 6, 7 and 8. But the horrendous part is that there were lots of things to explain and seriously i was only practising on sums and not prepared to explain things.. But of cos i cant leave it blank. So i guess had to rely on my crapping skill to get me through those scattering photons and laws... My law mod went not bad i suppose though the time was really limited but hopefully i can score well for it. Trying to answer 5 essay questions within 2 hours is a tortureeee... and each carry such high marks that i was really running out of time. Whenever im stuck, i will just move on to the next and the next. At least i will get some marks here and there rather then not doing the question at all rite? but yeah didnt finish the last question and i think there were still missing part in qn 2... -_-!
but it's okay. im satisfied. At least didnt kancheong(get panicky) and forget all my stuff.
i forgot to add my thanks for my dear housemate who took the pain the wake me up when actually im already up and about. Nevertheless, thanks so much yah! will wake u up too when u have morning papers k? study hard...
Tuesday, April 12
Exams...
Haiz exams coming exams coming... here's my timetable! just hoped that u guys can include me in ur prayers as i prepare and face these exams! This is gonna be a long long long blog since i will just keep on editing this entry as i pass thru these 2 weeks untill the end of my exam! so bear with me k?!
23/04 Legal Systems SS 9-11am
23/04 Physics II 1-3PM (pray that i wont feel exhausted and sleepy for this exam)
25/04 Critical Thinking and Writing 9-11am
27/04 Economic Issues in Developing Countries 9-11AM
28/04 Maths II 9-11am
30/04 Statics and Mechanics of Material 1-3pm! (finally yay!!!!)
after these exams im gonna be real free
on the 9th May im going to HK again! hahaa.. with lydia just the 2 of us since we couldnt find any other people! 3months of holiday is awaiting!! hahaa
okay 11 days to exam:
finally managed to finish all my physics webcast. will try to chiong on quantum! must try to score good since i cant remember the formulas for electromagnetism! ok back to studying!
10days to exam:
well just taking a break from studying.. had steamboat dinner just.. had my perfect soup! but obviously i left in the steamboat thing to boil and forget all abt it. It ended up spilt all over my flooR! i almosst faint! had to reboil another pot of soup! anyway it was nice! and just now i was just reading thru my old blog and yeah i was kinda laughing out loud when i read those entries when i was still so crazy with my crush! haha.. really funny and i somehow still remember how it felt! and ended up feeling so silly now! was also reading all those thot-wrecking entries. yeah it's a joy to read thru all the things i have written. how i survived my a level. how i manage to scrape thru my first sem in uni. how blessed i was basically and still am actually. this blog this is really a good thing! anyway back to study study!
9days to exam:
hmmm it's pretty scary when someone says that chatting to me reminds him of his crush. talking to me is like talking to his crush! i was like -_-! how can it be? whenever he misses his crush, talking to me is sufficient and i go -_-! again! haha.. anyway yeah to him if u r reading this! remember the will and determination to think abt other things! if u want u can! =) anyway yeah that short break from studying became a long one since he talked2 non stop! haha.. but it was me being a very fierce friend! telling him where he's gone wrong and this and that.
Today it was funny in school, since it is kinda our last meeting this semester before the semester break. Okay the last time we all meet wud be the last day of exam actually. But it was funny how lyd and the rest convinced me to stay for lunch! It was kinda the last lunch we probably have as a group cos all of us is gonna be in different types of engineering next sem. Lyd and I are gonna be in mechanical. Tez is gonna be in ISE (Industrial and System) while fanni is gonna be in bio-eng. Everyone is going separate ways. While we are looking forward to it, somehow thinking how we are not gonna see each other so often anymore is a dreadful feeling. We even made a pact that we will make sure that we meet for lunch at least once a week! haha..
i hope upon learning mechanical stuff, the feeling of a the wrong choice of course just dissipates slowly k? Actually right now, i have sort of come to term with it and i guess im handling it well right now. Ok no matter wat i will try to strive for the best and hopefully i can do everybody proud.. (okay im talking rubbish now.. haha.. well im tired already! ) Okay! going off to my dreamland.
8 days to exam!
tomorrow it will be officially a week away from my exam. and yeah last week i was feeling all the jittery and was feeling so stressed out! But this week has been spending time with my physics trying to get to know her. trying to make her accept me and i her. haha speaking as if she's a friend to me rite? well she's one tuff subject to master! well not exactly to master but rather to get to know on a deeper level than JC and Secondary school. Finally finish the part on quantum physics. Hopefully i can score on that one. Today and tomorrow shall spend the rest of my time to start on maths.. sunday back to know more abt physics! though it seems so boring just doing all these. Actually i kinda have a new momentum in studying.. Reminds me of how i used to love studying for my A level. At that time, i didnt even want cos whatever i learnt was really fun. Studying was fun back then. I dont know how did i manage to fall in love with the studying.
7 days to exam.
Got a bad news from XiaoWenn, my churchmate. A shocking one.
her:" dunno if u know but Luda passed away on wed with a heart failure."
me:"Huh! Heart failure? was it a sudden thing like heart attack or sumting?"
her:" He was on the treadmill, then his heart valve failed."
me:"U mean he was just exercising?"
her:"Think so. Guess only God knows why it happens!"
it just opened up my eyes yet again! How life is so short. how everyone shud just cherish their loved ones. Life is not only short but really unpredictable. Who can vouch that we will attain all our goals. Who can guarantee that we will be successful in life? What if we dont even live past to see the day we graduate, and yet we think far to marriage, to having kids, to having grandchildren, to having good jobs, and simply enjoying our retirements?!
Luda is one faithful man who really is an example for all my church youths. He serves the Lord in the youth group frequently. He plays guitar, lead the worship sessions, bible studies and all those activities in church. And he just got married not long ago! I can imagine how devastated his wife is! Can u imagine just got married for less than a year! In fact im not even sure that it's been past 6 months! (after further finding at the youth group msn group, his wedding was just barely 2 months ago. Next week it would be their 2nd month into the marriage) I was really shocked when i read this news! I cant imagine! God bless his family especially his wife! I hope that she will be strong and brave to go thru this.
Now u see me alive and kicking...But i just wanna say this in case i didnt have the chance to say it to u guys. Cos i may just be called home anytime as long as it is in His will. I thank u people to have made my life here a really blessed life. You've brought colours to my life! You've brighten my days when it was dark. You've supported me when im in the deep pit. You've always been the people whom i can count on to always support me morally or physically. The thought of how short and unpredictable life is just driving me to cherish all of u guys more. Especially those who've been close to me. I love u guys more than anything in this world. You people are the one who have been by my side all these years. WIthout you, i dun think i have anyone to fall back on. One day if im really gone, miss me but dun ever be saddened cos i have left u! For i will always be there in ur heart, giving u all my support. For i will always be by ur side supporting u, comforting u, accompanying u when u r all by urself. Dont be saddened cos i have left. But be happy that i have just gone home earlier than any of u to prepare our place in Heaven above. Remember me for the happy times, remember me for the times that we had our laughter together. Remember me for the fights we had. Remember me for how we always got back to be friends again. Also please forgive me for the things that i have said that mite have hurt u. forgive me for having been an irritating, naughty, arrogant person. Forgive me for my stupid nuisance. Forgive me too if i have not been the kind of friend whom u expect me to be.
6 days to exam.
talked to nata about heavy issues that really opens our eyes. get us thinking a lot. and definitely somehow we know more abt ourselves i suppose. in a way, truth hurts but her truthful and honest opinion of me really makes me think. At least it's good cos that's how other perceived me. and yeah definitely our characters are in contrast of each other's, and i hope yeah we know each other even better. know more abt our thoughts. our talk has convinced me that yeah im putting my priorities at the wrong places here. even in my spiritual walk, it has somehow became quite clear after she has pointed out how im putting Him second. and it really did slapped me hard enough to wake me up from my folly. see that's y sometimes im blessed that at least God sent me her to tell me my mistake. we also talked about other things involving spiritual walks or even normal broad general or heavy thinking topics. i think it's kinda of our first time touching on those serious talk which yeah normally we wouldnt talk abt this kind of things just the 2 of us. We talked from 1030, the moment i get home from the funeral till this morning 330. Then we continued for a while just now during lunch. We also touched a bit about my family and how i have most probably grown to be too independent and have developped a mentality that my family wont need me.. this and that... but dun worry i see the point now. okay im off to catch some shut-eye so that i can last thru the nite today!
wat made me smile and think im even more blessed. actually the whole thing was in indonesian but i guess i will write it in english here and yeah i dun think i wanna say the identitiy of this person.
she: "Lin, are u alrite?"
me: "[Hi dear], thanks for the care and concern. Pretty sure u had never seen marlin like this before rite? hehe.."
she: "Nvr seen u like dis. Lin dear, im in no position 2 speak cus i dont know what's happening. But be strong k! God will keeep u in His arms. Im saying a lil prayer for u always."
me: "Thanks dear.. Hehe dun worry im feeling better already. I just didnt know which direction am i going and just at a point of confusion with my life. Lots of open-ended issues which are still not resolved just yet. Im just at my vulnerable state now. =p"
she: "Lin, take a quiet time to pray, put aside all confusion, disappointment, stress and burden. Speak to Him.Discover that even in ur sorriest state, he still look for u and love u."
me: "Ok dear, thanks so much. Have thought thru of most stuff and i think it's really been quite an eye-opener abt how i have misled my life . How i have carried it wrongly. Dont worry abt me, Im fine. Shall go back to my studying mode. Thanks so much. Definitely my circle of close friend has just been blessed with 1 more true friend."
she: "Good. Now concentrate on ur studies k? Dun think too much. hehe. Just to let u know, u are a blessed person who is loved by everyone around u."
And all that came out in me was this wide smile and yeah i really felt touched by whatever she says. She is not that close to me but she can actually tell me and care for me. Her words of encouragement has definitely touched me. Just showed me other things in life i suppose by her actions.
Just 1 more day to the start before i start counting down to the end.
"if we love someone we should be unselfish enough to give them everything they want even though we have to sacrifice what we want" -Pierce Bosnan. -->taken from Mika's blog.
I agree COMPLETELY! the rest i dun have to spell it out. You'll never know how long you can be together with ur loved ones. So cherish them!
23/04 Legal Systems SS 9-11am
23/04 Physics II 1-3PM (pray that i wont feel exhausted and sleepy for this exam)
25/04 Critical Thinking and Writing 9-11am
27/04 Economic Issues in Developing Countries 9-11AM
28/04 Maths II 9-11am
30/04 Statics and Mechanics of Material 1-3pm! (finally yay!!!!)
after these exams im gonna be real free
on the 9th May im going to HK again! hahaa.. with lydia just the 2 of us since we couldnt find any other people! 3months of holiday is awaiting!! hahaa
okay 11 days to exam:
finally managed to finish all my physics webcast. will try to chiong on quantum! must try to score good since i cant remember the formulas for electromagnetism! ok back to studying!
10days to exam:
well just taking a break from studying.. had steamboat dinner just.. had my perfect soup! but obviously i left in the steamboat thing to boil and forget all abt it. It ended up spilt all over my flooR! i almosst faint! had to reboil another pot of soup! anyway it was nice! and just now i was just reading thru my old blog and yeah i was kinda laughing out loud when i read those entries when i was still so crazy with my crush! haha.. really funny and i somehow still remember how it felt! and ended up feeling so silly now! was also reading all those thot-wrecking entries. yeah it's a joy to read thru all the things i have written. how i survived my a level. how i manage to scrape thru my first sem in uni. how blessed i was basically and still am actually. this blog this is really a good thing! anyway back to study study!
9days to exam:
hmmm it's pretty scary when someone says that chatting to me reminds him of his crush. talking to me is like talking to his crush! i was like -_-! how can it be? whenever he misses his crush, talking to me is sufficient and i go -_-! again! haha.. anyway yeah to him if u r reading this! remember the will and determination to think abt other things! if u want u can! =) anyway yeah that short break from studying became a long one since he talked2 non stop! haha.. but it was me being a very fierce friend! telling him where he's gone wrong and this and that.
Today it was funny in school, since it is kinda our last meeting this semester before the semester break. Okay the last time we all meet wud be the last day of exam actually. But it was funny how lyd and the rest convinced me to stay for lunch! It was kinda the last lunch we probably have as a group cos all of us is gonna be in different types of engineering next sem. Lyd and I are gonna be in mechanical. Tez is gonna be in ISE (Industrial and System) while fanni is gonna be in bio-eng. Everyone is going separate ways. While we are looking forward to it, somehow thinking how we are not gonna see each other so often anymore is a dreadful feeling. We even made a pact that we will make sure that we meet for lunch at least once a week! haha..
i hope upon learning mechanical stuff, the feeling of a the wrong choice of course just dissipates slowly k? Actually right now, i have sort of come to term with it and i guess im handling it well right now. Ok no matter wat i will try to strive for the best and hopefully i can do everybody proud.. (okay im talking rubbish now.. haha.. well im tired already! ) Okay! going off to my dreamland.
8 days to exam!
tomorrow it will be officially a week away from my exam. and yeah last week i was feeling all the jittery and was feeling so stressed out! But this week has been spending time with my physics trying to get to know her. trying to make her accept me and i her. haha speaking as if she's a friend to me rite? well she's one tuff subject to master! well not exactly to master but rather to get to know on a deeper level than JC and Secondary school. Finally finish the part on quantum physics. Hopefully i can score on that one. Today and tomorrow shall spend the rest of my time to start on maths.. sunday back to know more abt physics! though it seems so boring just doing all these. Actually i kinda have a new momentum in studying.. Reminds me of how i used to love studying for my A level. At that time, i didnt even want cos whatever i learnt was really fun. Studying was fun back then. I dont know how did i manage to fall in love with the studying.
7 days to exam.
Got a bad news from XiaoWenn, my churchmate. A shocking one.
her:" dunno if u know but Luda passed away on wed with a heart failure."
me:"Huh! Heart failure? was it a sudden thing like heart attack or sumting?"
her:" He was on the treadmill, then his heart valve failed."
me:"U mean he was just exercising?"
her:"Think so. Guess only God knows why it happens!"
it just opened up my eyes yet again! How life is so short. how everyone shud just cherish their loved ones. Life is not only short but really unpredictable. Who can vouch that we will attain all our goals. Who can guarantee that we will be successful in life? What if we dont even live past to see the day we graduate, and yet we think far to marriage, to having kids, to having grandchildren, to having good jobs, and simply enjoying our retirements?!
Luda is one faithful man who really is an example for all my church youths. He serves the Lord in the youth group frequently. He plays guitar, lead the worship sessions, bible studies and all those activities in church. And he just got married not long ago! I can imagine how devastated his wife is! Can u imagine just got married for less than a year! In fact im not even sure that it's been past 6 months! (after further finding at the youth group msn group, his wedding was just barely 2 months ago. Next week it would be their 2nd month into the marriage) I was really shocked when i read this news! I cant imagine! God bless his family especially his wife! I hope that she will be strong and brave to go thru this.
Now u see me alive and kicking...But i just wanna say this in case i didnt have the chance to say it to u guys. Cos i may just be called home anytime as long as it is in His will. I thank u people to have made my life here a really blessed life. You've brought colours to my life! You've brighten my days when it was dark. You've supported me when im in the deep pit. You've always been the people whom i can count on to always support me morally or physically. The thought of how short and unpredictable life is just driving me to cherish all of u guys more. Especially those who've been close to me. I love u guys more than anything in this world. You people are the one who have been by my side all these years. WIthout you, i dun think i have anyone to fall back on. One day if im really gone, miss me but dun ever be saddened cos i have left u! For i will always be there in ur heart, giving u all my support. For i will always be by ur side supporting u, comforting u, accompanying u when u r all by urself. Dont be saddened cos i have left. But be happy that i have just gone home earlier than any of u to prepare our place in Heaven above. Remember me for the happy times, remember me for the times that we had our laughter together. Remember me for the fights we had. Remember me for how we always got back to be friends again. Also please forgive me for the things that i have said that mite have hurt u. forgive me for having been an irritating, naughty, arrogant person. Forgive me for my stupid nuisance. Forgive me too if i have not been the kind of friend whom u expect me to be.
6 days to exam.
talked to nata about heavy issues that really opens our eyes. get us thinking a lot. and definitely somehow we know more abt ourselves i suppose. in a way, truth hurts but her truthful and honest opinion of me really makes me think. At least it's good cos that's how other perceived me. and yeah definitely our characters are in contrast of each other's, and i hope yeah we know each other even better. know more abt our thoughts. our talk has convinced me that yeah im putting my priorities at the wrong places here. even in my spiritual walk, it has somehow became quite clear after she has pointed out how im putting Him second. and it really did slapped me hard enough to wake me up from my folly. see that's y sometimes im blessed that at least God sent me her to tell me my mistake. we also talked about other things involving spiritual walks or even normal broad general or heavy thinking topics. i think it's kinda of our first time touching on those serious talk which yeah normally we wouldnt talk abt this kind of things just the 2 of us. We talked from 1030, the moment i get home from the funeral till this morning 330. Then we continued for a while just now during lunch. We also touched a bit about my family and how i have most probably grown to be too independent and have developped a mentality that my family wont need me.. this and that... but dun worry i see the point now. okay im off to catch some shut-eye so that i can last thru the nite today!
wat made me smile and think im even more blessed. actually the whole thing was in indonesian but i guess i will write it in english here and yeah i dun think i wanna say the identitiy of this person.
she: "Lin, are u alrite?"
me: "[Hi dear], thanks for the care and concern. Pretty sure u had never seen marlin like this before rite? hehe.."
she: "Nvr seen u like dis. Lin dear, im in no position 2 speak cus i dont know what's happening. But be strong k! God will keeep u in His arms. Im saying a lil prayer for u always."
me: "Thanks dear.. Hehe dun worry im feeling better already. I just didnt know which direction am i going and just at a point of confusion with my life. Lots of open-ended issues which are still not resolved just yet. Im just at my vulnerable state now. =p"
she: "Lin, take a quiet time to pray, put aside all confusion, disappointment, stress and burden. Speak to Him.Discover that even in ur sorriest state, he still look for u and love u."
me: "Ok dear, thanks so much. Have thought thru of most stuff and i think it's really been quite an eye-opener abt how i have misled my life . How i have carried it wrongly. Dont worry abt me, Im fine. Shall go back to my studying mode. Thanks so much. Definitely my circle of close friend has just been blessed with 1 more true friend."
she: "Good. Now concentrate on ur studies k? Dun think too much. hehe. Just to let u know, u are a blessed person who is loved by everyone around u."
And all that came out in me was this wide smile and yeah i really felt touched by whatever she says. She is not that close to me but she can actually tell me and care for me. Her words of encouragement has definitely touched me. Just showed me other things in life i suppose by her actions.
Just 1 more day to the start before i start counting down to the end.
"if we love someone we should be unselfish enough to give them everything they want even though we have to sacrifice what we want" -Pierce Bosnan. -->taken from Mika's blog.
I agree COMPLETELY! the rest i dun have to spell it out. You'll never know how long you can be together with ur loved ones. So cherish them!
Saturday, April 9
Tuesday, April 5
17 more days
17 more days to exam and i still havent managed to start my revision..Despite all my trying, there seems to be still more works that has piled up! and definitely need my utmost attention to them. Either that or temptations along the way! This week itself, i only managed to study on monday since i skipped morning lessons.. managed to study sunday thruout the nite though. Tomorrow hopefully is another day where i can study. But i thnk it may be proven otherwise. Thurs... >.<... and then another day is friday... haiz.. hopefully hopefully i can study in time... arhgfhhhhhhhdghuhgwuhhfuiewhfughushduehfuehhesgdhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggghhhhh
going crazy sooN! thinking abt how im aiming for Bs, it just seems that its getting further and further away!
At least now im quite envious of how nata gets quite a lot of time to study! while here i am sitting here and still hv many tutorials to do! stupid online. stupid labs. arhghhhhhh just when is it going to be over?!??!?!??!?! feeling pretty sick! haiz.. nvm me people.. ignore me.. im just venting a lot of things here... just feel like screaming... I need X-Japan ballads RITE NOW!!! i need all those songs.. or at least the likes of Aikawa Nanase cds!!! anyone care to lend me?????
going crazy sooN! thinking abt how im aiming for Bs, it just seems that its getting further and further away!
At least now im quite envious of how nata gets quite a lot of time to study! while here i am sitting here and still hv many tutorials to do! stupid online. stupid labs. arhghhhhhh just when is it going to be over?!??!?!??!?! feeling pretty sick! haiz.. nvm me people.. ignore me.. im just venting a lot of things here... just feel like screaming... I need X-Japan ballads RITE NOW!!! i need all those songs.. or at least the likes of Aikawa Nanase cds!!! anyone care to lend me?????
The Ideal Novice
| The Ideal Novice Conditions met: 75%. Talent: at least 87%. Possible advantages: 41%. Mastery: about 56% |
You certainly have the imagination and sharp senses needed, and your sleeping habits are plain perfect. Your dreams, if you remember them, are most likely colourful and crazy - in a good way. You'll need to improve your concentration and maybe write down what it was that you dreamt, and you'll do great soon.
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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| Link: The Lucid Dreaming Test written by Nitsuki on Ok Cupid |
Sunday, April 3
april's fool
hahaha nata's blog reminded me to write on the april fool joke i pulled on her. i dont know why but i just had to pull a joke on her.... here's the sms...
me: Shittt.. My bus got into an accident. Injured my head. Need to be hospitalised.
her: Serious??!!! U alright? Which hospital? Isit bad??
at this point my thought went, should i pull the joke further or just end it? cos sometimes i dont know whether she is really shocked by the news or not, sometimes she can be not bothered u see.. (indo: cuek). But of cos looking at the way she put the questions with all the question and exclamation marks, my heart melted (xing ruan). Somehow i can see how shocked and maybe worried. So here's my reply:
me: My head is bleeding quite bad. I'm in palm garden hospital. Happy April's Fool!
and then no reply from.. i thot that she was mad at me.. but i knew she wudnt! haha.. yeah so when she was about to leave from school, she called and we talked about it and she told me that she was in a test. It was supposed to be one of the easiest questions and she didnt know how to do. She was pretty anxious and then upon receiving my message. She was just shocked not knowing what to do. THank God She didnt call my parents. haha.. she was saying that she shud have guessed since she and her friends had been harping on April's FOol! I was laughing and i told her! Hey okay next time when i say im in an accident, it wud be real!! remember today is april's fooL! In case (touch wood) when i get into an accident and when i informed her she might think it was just a joke. We talked all the way until she was back home. We realised how stupid it was since we were living under the same roof and yet we still chatted over the phone. But of cos i miss chatting with her on the phone. We used to do that when we werent living together. Then can talk for hours long. but of cos with her being distracted most of the time! -__-!
okay shall do my maths. to all preparing for exams: Be sTronG! Be dIsciPlined! RememBer Him in Ur HearTs! And Seek HiS GuiDancE and WisDom for time maNaGement and that you will be able to absorb whatever u are trying to study effectively!
me: Shittt.. My bus got into an accident. Injured my head. Need to be hospitalised.
her: Serious??!!! U alright? Which hospital? Isit bad??
at this point my thought went, should i pull the joke further or just end it? cos sometimes i dont know whether she is really shocked by the news or not, sometimes she can be not bothered u see.. (indo: cuek). But of cos looking at the way she put the questions with all the question and exclamation marks, my heart melted (xing ruan). Somehow i can see how shocked and maybe worried. So here's my reply:
me: My head is bleeding quite bad. I'm in palm garden hospital. Happy April's Fool!
and then no reply from.. i thot that she was mad at me.. but i knew she wudnt! haha.. yeah so when she was about to leave from school, she called and we talked about it and she told me that she was in a test. It was supposed to be one of the easiest questions and she didnt know how to do. She was pretty anxious and then upon receiving my message. She was just shocked not knowing what to do. THank God She didnt call my parents. haha.. she was saying that she shud have guessed since she and her friends had been harping on April's FOol! I was laughing and i told her! Hey okay next time when i say im in an accident, it wud be real!! remember today is april's fooL! In case (touch wood) when i get into an accident and when i informed her she might think it was just a joke. We talked all the way until she was back home. We realised how stupid it was since we were living under the same roof and yet we still chatted over the phone. But of cos i miss chatting with her on the phone. We used to do that when we werent living together. Then can talk for hours long. but of cos with her being distracted most of the time! -__-!
okay shall do my maths. to all preparing for exams: Be sTronG! Be dIsciPlined! RememBer Him in Ur HearTs! And Seek HiS GuiDancE and WisDom for time maNaGement and that you will be able to absorb whatever u are trying to study effectively!
Saturday, April 2
wat a beautiful lazing day!
it's been nice and cool since this morning. Though it rained this morning but at least it's not a hot day! and yeah pretty good day to just laze in my room, sipping my hot coffee, maybe chat with nata or just day dreaming, slacking in the room. How nice rite? But yeah didnt get to do all that!
Well, i had my test this morning. The 3 days of studying cables amount to nothing during exam since it didnt even come out in the questions. BUT a last minute studying of friction and axial load helped me thru this test. Thank God i woke up early to study this morning. If not i would be dead, though it was open-book. Went back home instead of giving tuition to my primary school kid, and had lunch. After that proceed to finishing yet another part of an essay! Finally the last one. While trying to write the essay, the nice and cool weather really makes me doze off. But of course i had to finish it soon since the deadline is coming and we have to present it on monday. Finally i finish it. And i think i wanna catch some sleep first before studying again later.
Finally i can start on revising my work. Hopefully all the free days can be put into good use with cramming physics stuff and practising all the questions. And my maths too! had been neglecting it too much i realise. Shall spend more time on this 2. Haiz. Cant wait for the holiday. In the meantime, pray that i can focus on revising my work k? and lots of God wisdom to let me know the difference between need and temptation! haha.. Thank u alL!
Well, i had my test this morning. The 3 days of studying cables amount to nothing during exam since it didnt even come out in the questions. BUT a last minute studying of friction and axial load helped me thru this test. Thank God i woke up early to study this morning. If not i would be dead, though it was open-book. Went back home instead of giving tuition to my primary school kid, and had lunch. After that proceed to finishing yet another part of an essay! Finally the last one. While trying to write the essay, the nice and cool weather really makes me doze off. But of course i had to finish it soon since the deadline is coming and we have to present it on monday. Finally i finish it. And i think i wanna catch some sleep first before studying again later.
Finally i can start on revising my work. Hopefully all the free days can be put into good use with cramming physics stuff and practising all the questions. And my maths too! had been neglecting it too much i realise. Shall spend more time on this 2. Haiz. Cant wait for the holiday. In the meantime, pray that i can focus on revising my work k? and lots of God wisdom to let me know the difference between need and temptation! haha.. Thank u alL!
Friday, April 1
being contented.
In life, i realise, it takes a lot to feel contentment. It is simple yet so hard to achieve. Why? it's because of our selfish and greedy human nature. We always seek for greater things to achieve. Seeking for more and more wealth, knowledge, status and other things in life. Even when we reach the top, we still want to seek more and more! We are never contented. Look at Bill Gates he's the richest man on earth! But look at him, he still works like a dog to earn more or at least to keep his status there at being number 1.
Despite the rich blessings that God has provided us, we seek for more. He gave us all the beautiful things and we still for better ones. Being contented is a simple thing to do and yet, we human cant do it. Whatever we got, whatever we have, we always compare it to others. It's a short contentment to know that we are better. When better ones are around, we get envious. Just wat a life we've got here.
We are thankful for all the blessings we've got, but still continue to search for more. Cant we pause for a while and compare our blessings with the poor who are often so contented to just be able to live one more day. Look at the cancer patients who cherish each day! Look at the poor who are just contented that they have money to provide themselves each day! Look at the faces of the beggars when they get a dollar, their faces show so much appreciation and happiness!!
Why cant we for once just be contented?
Despite the rich blessings that God has provided us, we seek for more. He gave us all the beautiful things and we still for better ones. Being contented is a simple thing to do and yet, we human cant do it. Whatever we got, whatever we have, we always compare it to others. It's a short contentment to know that we are better. When better ones are around, we get envious. Just wat a life we've got here.
We are thankful for all the blessings we've got, but still continue to search for more. Cant we pause for a while and compare our blessings with the poor who are often so contented to just be able to live one more day. Look at the cancer patients who cherish each day! Look at the poor who are just contented that they have money to provide themselves each day! Look at the faces of the beggars when they get a dollar, their faces show so much appreciation and happiness!!
Why cant we for once just be contented?
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