16 months. Not my favorite age.
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| Here we are struggling over a diaper change. |
1. He climbs. EVERYTHING. Our counter-height chairs are all tipped onto the floor to keep him off the dangerously high table (if only we knew about counter-height tables before - they're not great with little kids!). The piano bench is pushed in (hubby found him standing ON the keyboard going "uhhhhh" while I was gone last night). We have to take the bunk bed ladder down every day due to similar situations with him yelling "uhhhhh" from the top bunk. He had tried to climb our bookcase (which is not yet bolted to the wall - scaaaary!). Once I found him on the stove top. Luckily I wasn't cooking.
2. He dumps out my drawers. Every day I clean up the kitchen floor. He doesn't play with the stuff, just dumps. He also stands in the bottom drawer, which somehow has a broken childproof lock (wonder how), and I swear the bottom will soon fall out.
3. He pulls off all the toilet paper.
4. He plays with the toilet scrubber, lid and contents.
5. We can play music for as long as it takes him to walk over to the stereo and turn it off.
6. He is obsessive about pens, crayons, markers, pencils. And he eats and destroys them all.
7. He turns off the oven every time I try to cook. One time it took me over 2 hours to make brownies because he kept sneaking in without me knowing.
8. He can take off his diaper. 'Nuff said.
9. He keeps unplugging my clock.
10. He can reach the counters on his tip-toes. I CANNOT childproof my house from the counters down with 4 homeschooling kids!
11. "No no" means "faster faster."
12. He constantly closes doors and locks himself in rooms. Then I get to play hide-and-seek by following the screaming.
13. He's been crying it out for well over a month and still cries every night.
14. Still nursing. And biting.
He also tries to feel me up on the other side while he nurses because he loves to touch skin. It's so disturbing, and we fight over whose body this really is.
15. He dumps the bookshelves several times a day.
16. He enjoys eating out of the garbage. "Mmmmm!" (Seriously, tonight! Picture this: Daddy is late, everyone is HYPER, and I'm scrambling to finish dinner when I look over and see baby with his hand in the bag of raw chicken juice, then he pulls it out and sucks it and says, "Mmmmm." And I had heard him say mmmmm several times already without it registering. Ahhh!)
17. Oh, the screams.
18. He distributes my pot lids randomly throughout the house on a regular basis, so I never know where to find them.
19. He can reach the top kitchen drawers and loves to get a handful of drinking straws and peel all the paper off them. And leave it on the floor. Or eat it.
20. He loves
drinking from a cup spilling drinks on the floor and stepping in them with his socks. Like, on purpose.
21. He frequently comes to me with things in his mouth - small balls, screws, coins, etc. At least he brings them TO me and lets me have them! Gives me a heart attack every time though.
22. When I play piano he likes to pull up my shirt and suck on my back. So weird. If I'm sitting and won't hold him (like I dare eat with two hands) he pulls up the side of my shirt and pinches me with his nails.
23. He just learned how to stick corn up his nose.
24. He can pull the tabs off the back of the remotes and remove the batteries. So he does. Tape does not faze him.
There's more. I'll probably update this as more pops up. I mean, this is for posterity ... and to throw out a big "you owe me!" when he grows up. 'Cuz kids like that. It's also good therapy for me.
There's going to be major trouble when this guy learns to turn a doorknob.
He's cute too. I love how he is starting to talk. He sounds like a race car when he say "Brrrroooon!" for balloon. He says "I ra ru" for 'I love you' and he signs 'more' and 'all done' and blows kisses for goodbye and goodnight. He has cute little round teeth and scrunches up his nose when he smiles. So I think we'll keep him. But my sanity ... that may leave.
