I'VE MOVED (:


You're in everyone I see
So tell me,
Do you see me?
Cause I'll see you!

been a topic on my mind for a while now. gosh, i really don't wanna go back there. really, daddy, please. even jerich doesn't! like i said, i'm gonna pray you can't find a suitable house there or you change your mind. i've never wanted anything so badly, (i think). i don't like such major changes, no, no, NO.



changes, inevitable. it's something we breathe in, something we encounter every single day. it surrounds us, sometimes even engulfs us. the worse thing? sometimes you can't do anything about it. relationships change, for better, for worse. perceptions, tastes, ideologies develop. basically, everything. at some point of time, we have to come to accept that we can't go back to the way things once were. we just hafta deal with it, bitch!





; i'm annoying, annoyed & easily annoyed.
i'm practically married to annoyance. horrah.

let your heart out.

Saturday, November 17Y

"but tramps like us, baby we were born to run"

yeah, born to run, sucha escapist i am. time to take a stick & light a fire. otherwise, i'll die passively, same old.

let your heart out.

Friday, November 16Y

let's say, it's all a mixture of feelings.

anticipation, anxiety, hope, fears.



it's great i guess, that A's are finally gonna be over. (: my mind/heart is working overload & it needs a break.

much has taken place, i'm sure many already know. thank goodness my friends are all really understanding & don't hound me on what has taken place. there's no doubt that it was all great. the r/s, the love, the laughter, the time, the memories. but it stops there. they remain, at the end of the day, as memories; in photos, in corners of the room & of the mind. honestly, i'm sorry. i know saying this won't make the wrong right, won't heal the hurt/pain i've caused. & after all you've done, i've utterly let you down.

next, i extend apologies to a dear friend whom i've unknowingly incurred the wreath of. okay, over-exaggeration but when someone dear gets annoyed with me, it gets tough. i don't know how to tell you how sorry i am. you've been an excellent friend, but i've let you down, with the mistake of forgetting. no, it's not petty, i understand where you're coming from. & like i said, i promise i'll make it up to you, if you allow me to. (:

ilyas says i'm unrelentingly optimistic, like i never stop encouraging, looking on the bright side. but really, it only applies to everyone else. i'm really my worst critque & i need a breather. i've been so hard up on myself, i breakdown, i didn't put in more effort (which i knew was possible) for the A's. i wasn't strong enough, i hate listening to my own advice. i'm afraid of the fucking, not so bright bloody thing people call the future. dang, it really gets to me. honestly, 4 months later may end up a disaster & if i get decent grades to get into uni, i'll be overjoyed, although definitely disappointed that i never put in my best.
---the best thing outta all these?
amk has become a permanent place of irksome though the laughing times were awesome,
the process of learning, not only the darn A's, but also lessons of life.
i've learnt so much more about myself, learnt how important it is to have wonderful friends who let you know in their own special ways they care. then there's the friend who listens to the ranting, finding solutions to my "larger-than-life" issues & knows how to make everything right.


it's not the end of the year yet, but it's been one hell of a year thus far. to everyone, thank you. sincerly, from the bottom of my heart.


; i'm learning to breath, again.

let your heart out.

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