suave

the one-word title is the only adjective, i personally think, suitable to describe those men wearing tuxedo.

maybe i have a little obsession with celebs in suits, just teeny weeny bit.

i started my gleeful, concentrated liking with super junior, obviously. no thanks to sorry,sorry.

then it was harvey specter of aptly named series, suits. though mike ross has the innocence of a protege, but the way mister specter carries himself on screen is oh-so-dashing.

finally the man who manages to keep my passion burning alive has got to be ok taec yeon.

he is tall, well-built, funny and a little dorky/nerdy. *melting* remember how i mentioned my infatuation with 'em oriental? tulah, sapa suruh sekolah cina lagi lololololol

this is the video that made me falling head over heels <3 p="p">

feast your eyes yo!

*currently under stressed but no desserts around hence this will do :P*

mental gap/gab

after all these years, i finally see the major differences between mumsy and yours truly.

she has a keen sense in the surroundings whilst i dont.

i think im a social recluse, in the making lol

so whenever she starts telling me stories and commenting how people should be doing this instead of that, by golly i couldnt stop myself from saying, "let them be, we have no right to tell them what to do."

in which she will always reply me this, "eh kita memang kena bagitahu orang, kadang2 orang ni tak tahu."

*_____________*

i love you to death but sometimes i cant help to think that we live in an entirely different world.

before sunset i love you

remembering vividly one of the quotes from lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events,

"if you have never lost loved ones before, you cant possibly imagine how it feels."

which i strongly disagreed at first, just to realize how truthful it has always been.

we had to spent the break taking care of her since she is alone and all three of us are the only ones available.

in the beginning, the dreadful feelings took over the wheel because we thought that we have better things to do to fill our time with.

in the end, i couldnt be more grateful that i was there with her during her final days.

there were signs i guess but it never occurred to me that those WERE the signs for us before she leaves us.

i am, still, absolutely enraged when people (read: next of kins) would ask the three of us to revisit the way she passed. one or twice is sufficient, but more than five times has to be beyond unkind.

who was prepared for the passing? NONE OF US. she wasnt sick. she was in perfect health, apart form the insulin shots she had to get due to her diabetes. even that is monitored because she gave the shots herself.

all i can think of now is that she passed on a great month and great day. how i wish i can leave this world the same way she did :'(

dear allahyarhamah hajah azizah binti idris, you are greatly missed. though im not particularly expressive when it comes to emotions, i love you dearly. for everything you did for my family.

may ALLAH bless your wonderful soul. amin. al fatihah.

i'm smiling but im dying

i read an article recently about how women are hell occupants due to the fact that women tend to severe ties with others who have wronged them.

this definitely robs the daylight out of me. i know i am one of the many who was caught red-handed. but in my defense, i didnt severe ties, it is just that i lost touch with those people altogether. i did that to protect this weak and fragile heart of mine. and also to prevent any discomfort/awkwardness that may occur in the future.

but in your case, yes you,

if you think asking about your life means im prying, there is nothing i can do but to deal with it.

i did my part to be a better friend though we might not on constant-talking basis.

i tried salvaging what was left of it but you just wont let it come true.

despite all this, i wish you nothing but the best.

falling from cloud nine.

how do you pacify your love ones when they have been treated unfairly since before they can remember? just because one doesnt talk about it, it doesnt mean one is numb. cant feel anything. stone-cold. one just refuse to be too consumed with the darkness. it is already black as it is about to rain.

stuck in second gear.

at my age, i know i should think further.

i have been doing that since 08.

unfortunately, i cant bear to leave her just yet.

because i know,

deep down inside,

she wants to believe in him.

and i simply dont.

i feel very much the first born now.

with the second born's attitude of course.

the future seems undoubtably vague to me.

i shall hold on to her.

for as long as i can.

to the point i dont feel needed anymore.

what a feeling to feel.

intricate.

before it was bleeding lips, now bleeding nose.

aiyo. minum byk air lahhhhh >_<

random sayings.

1. if i were to be the salesperson, and another muslim wanted to buy the item that might be haraam, i would definitely let them know. just saying.

2. kalau setakat nak 3G dengan aku untuk gelakkan aku potong rambut pendek dan kau sendiri switch off kamera kau, BAIK TAK PAYAH.

3. despite the increasing stress level (read:research method), i managed to buy 2 items that are out of the ordinary. hope it is worth every penny spent.

4. i think i have started to feel annoyed by you in spite of all things we have been through together. what a waste. sigh

5. in reference to the statement above, people change. to better or worse. it is a choice made.

not that long ago...

aku pernah percaya kalau kita jumpa orang yang hampir sama rupa dengan kita, jodoh kita dgn orang itu kuat.

i dont know what i believe in anymore.

chuckles

so we went to LYP to buy a handphone for grandma.

we went to the same place as when we bought for mister GFN.

the salesperson is a chinese guy in his 20s i think.

the first time around, after we exchange goods and cash, i went to buy a beats audio's headphone in the next kiosk.

the salesperson actually joked that i didnt pay enough. we laughed obviously.

assuming that most guys would immediately jumped the gun to hit on us, he didnt. we were actually exchanging friendly banter.

another reason why i have a long time love affair with them oriental ;)

obsession!

my weird and illogical cravings to these things: