Love Note

Oh Allah,

Forgive us on this Ramadhan

Bless us on this beautiful month

Save us from the worldly lies

Grant us patience and virtue

Guide us to You

I am tired of being angry :(

Eternity?

When I was fourteen, I was in the English Club and one of our activities was debate. Once, the title was along the line of is it better to have eternal life of get unlimited supply of money? Me and my friends chose the latter. The debate started out as for fun since we were all amateurs but it went on with so much heat and we were all excited to defend our stand. At one point, we sounded like we actually believed in what we were striving for including me.

How wrong was I back then. All the lovely things such as being able to travel endlessly, helping people and making a difference in this world, naively stating that money is not everything, you can achieve total happiness with love and just by living. One thing that struck back to me when I was one the flight to Chicago was a statement from the opponent: “it is hurtful to watch the people you love die and living for eternity means that we have to watch people leave all the time”.

I would never want to live for eternity nor am I ready to face death at the moment. But I will live as long as Allah permits and collect my ‘bekalan’ along the way alongside my loved ones. It’s hard enough to say goodbye (without knowing when to meet again). I’m not really good with words face to face with my loved ones when I’m sad (only when I’n demanding/angry/happy). I wish they understand how much they mean to me, how much they have taught me and how grateful I am.

Till we meet again dear friends. East Lansing, I really don’t know if I’m coming back.

Written in Chicago O’Hare, waiting for my flight to DC.

Home alone

Salam and Hello :)

I wrote something at the airport yesterday and saved it on my computer. But since my computer, camera and other important belongings (in a bag) got stuck in DC yesterday, I'll update that post later on.

Being alone with limited people to reach (due to time difference or limited technological resources) turns me to blogging. The very purpose of me creating this space to myself. If this page is idle for long, it means that I'm either very content, busy, I have people around to share or worst case scenario, dead.

Anyway, dad is at work and I've explore what I could in this apartment. It's facing the sea, I love it when I get to see water :) This place has touches of mum all over: honey jar, serunding, candles and tiny bowls/glasses with sweets, paper clips, coins all in places messed up by dad mixing coins and candies together, hehe. Can't wait to hug mum.

I miss USA. Thank you for sending me off dear friends. Rasa macam taknak gerak from the escalator, it was so hard to leave. But life goes on. Rindunya mereka-mereka semua. Rindunya road trips, EB, the weather. Dad says I have to get a job in 6 months top or else tak laku. InsyaAllah will try my best when I get back. I haven't had an alone time in so long. And now I can't stop thinking about everything. Every single thing, in a good way. I'll try to be better, I promise.

Will start traveling again tomorrow. Dad said he wants to take me to the places where he'd taken the family. Yayyy! I'm blessed. Oh and he said "kiss Abah" at the airport yesterday. Terharu pulak. Unconditional love from parents ftw :3

That's it for now, take care.

Oh, this is our new cat Phineas. I can't wait to meet this handsome lad.

My last day in the US

I wanted to write last night but I was so feeling so overwhelmed. Can't believe that the day has come. It's only 2 1/2 years of my life but somehow I know that I'll always treasure every moment of it. I hope to meet my friends again, iA.

 My summer girls and hopefully forever

Cedar Point 2012

Cedar Point with some love

Sparty and Syamil

May Allah bless our friendship. For every person that I've met, they taught me something whether they realize it or not :)