I always get all the bruises from no where.. at least not when i am conscious...
i think this is kind of scary too...
may b i sleep walking?? lol...

recently nothing much to update also... other than study than still study... cny din enjoy much also...
every morning wake up n panic what to b submit today.. is like a routine already...
now the term test is getting nearer n nearer.. i began to panic about it also.
kind of restless...

oh ya... was addicted to maple again. but i restrict myself only play it on sat night. may b sunday.. may b not.. exam coming so i shouldn't play so much... anyway, i was complaining about how troublesome is aran, coz need to press alot of buttons to cast a skill. but then when i choose other class, it became too boring. kept spamming the same key is kind of boring also... n i feel xin tong after playing maple, coz i spammed my keyboard too much until i hear sound from my keyboard... T-T my poor lappy....

i am drunk.... gosh...

it always triggered part of my memories whenever i pass by your house.... 

it all begins in CNY too... I cant treat it like nothing had ever happened.. 

I always left with part of myself whenever i left a relationship.. 

it always hurt... coz part of me still remember everything happened although nobody remember it...

i really miss you... 

but i dun even dare to send a simple CNY wish to you..
simply because i afraid to receive the reply like..
"who are you"

I am back at home, but not home sweet home...

i know i shouldn't say like this, nut each time i come back sure have more finance burden on my shoulder... actually no other options also. coz they also suffer...

on wed, i dunno what had going on.. out of sudden, i felt so much stress... n when i talking to my mum, i felt more n more stressful... at the end, i cried... at the bus stop.. when i reach home, my tears just couldn't stop... more n more negative thinking came, n i couldn't stop gasping simply because i cant breath.. feeling like something heavy pressed on my chest.. with the nose blockage by flu, i really couldn't breath... tat night, i really cried too much... the next day, my head is super painful. worst than hangover. is like 10000x worst. i cant think, i cant walk, feeling dizzy and headache. after force myself to write email to my tutor and submitted my assignment, i went home. but the journey is so scary... tons n tons of malaysian going home... the longest queue i had seen so far.. the queue start from kranji 170 berth, stretch to the entire kranji mrt building's perimeter then end at mrt entrance. wth.. it's so scary.... it took me 5 hours to get home...

anyway, i am like totally avoiding the topic of finance and studies, everytime they ask me, i just switch topic or ignore. i addicted to pokemon also. let pokemon occupied my mind, then i dun think so much..

last night went saloon to cut the weed on my head, before that my mum n sis argue. lol... my mum say cut it short, my sis say keep it long but trim a bit, then my dad say dun cut. lol... so funny... at the end i went to my stylish, he say my face suite short hair style better. then i cut~ lol... anyway, not as manly as last time liao. this time is kind of girly..

this is snake year~ my year~~ lol lol lol...

i'm so desperate.... if i did not put in any effort and i fail, i wun blame anyone, i deserved it. but now i had put in so much effort in this module yet i still fail? life is so unfair to me! What to do?? I'm so desperate!!!!

how i am gonna survive with all the stresses...

I seriously need to sleep... i think i really need to talk to counsellor some day. I been waking up in the middle of the night for 1 week ady. everyday around 3 or 4 i will wake up and couldn't fall back to sleep.. last night is worst. i got a cramp at my feet, in which i sat up and pull my thumb to relief the cramp.. end up i really restless today..

sat is my working day. so as usual, i'm exhausted after work. supposed today is not a very busy for my duty as a host, but i am extremely busy. I think is the working attitude matters... i dun get it why some ppl just like to think negatively leh? 没有人要整你，如果有，也是你自己整自己。everyone is very busy today coz no enuf man power. then what's the point of keep cursing n scolding when this is your duty to work? sst did pay for your time n energy. if you wish to slack all the way n let other ppl do your job, might as well dun come. making not only your mood bad, u spoiled my mood also. damn..

n my hand still unable to lift heavy stuff, but it's better already. salonpas really works. now still swell, but should b fine tmr. at least i'm able to type. it's much better than last night.

I am angry. yes i am. i dun get it. why i am the one who get rejected n now i'm totally ignored by u? am i that annoying and made u so pissed until we cant even chat like friends? worst is when i still like u, v can still talk. but now when i totally gave up on you and dun have any feeling towards u yet v became not even friends? I cherish our friendship. i dun wanna lost such an important friend of mine like you. if i make u angry, please let me know. i will apologize. dun just leave me like this... my heart is fragile, i cant take it...

fug... fell asleep while blogging last night... rubbish post, does not make sense at all...

today hurt my hand when i walk across the SOC office. now my hand is like paralyzed coz i hurt the back of my hand. it swell at the vein..

so tired.. i dun even know why.. so many things to revise this week.. haiz...