发呆时就是很自然的回想起你

拿起手机时就是会很自然地看看手机有没有你的回复

吃饭时间就是会很自然地问问你吃饭了没

空闲时就是会很自然地想见见你

听歌时就是会很自然地想听听你听的歌

睡觉前就是会很自然地地跟你说声晚安

我想这并不是什么别的意思吧

我并不想做你的姐妹

today went dinner with her...

hmmm... actually i dunno m i serious this time.

coz i dun have special feeling toward her

may b just treat her like sister? but my subconscious just refuse to accept this.

dun ask me why, i do not know..

just now also went for desert after dinner,

then the aunty say we looks like sibling.

*speechless....

i dun know how to respond, so i just laugh off..

m i tired of 暧昧?

i believe so....

i felt so tired...

i never confess, n i dun think i will confess this time round...

coz after confess, may not b friend in the future, but if i dun do it, we can b friends forever

我们可不可以不要是“姐妹”？

today i open my fb account after so many things happen in this week,

i was shocked by one notification.

"xxx had listed you as sister, please approve it at your profile"

what the hell.....

我们可不可以不要是“姐妹”？

我想要的并不是朋友。。。

i straight away decline that request without second thought.

she still don't get it...

gosh.....

I shall kept distance away from her from now on..

心

人老了是不是越来越没有胆量呢？？

最近很容易被吓。与其是说单单被吓，不如说我的心脏很弱更为恰当。
除了香港那个惊吓之旅，最近都在跟小朋友混在一起。
昨天才知道，原来我的mentee是腐女（喜欢BL的女生），
今天发现我的学妹们个个都是状元。。哇哇哇。。不得了吖。。。

今天跟美女队友聊天，原来当明星不简单。很累的说。。。

我也是很累。。。心累了。。
我想最近心脏受刺激太多。。。
可以平平安安过完今年，就已经不错了吧。。

*sigh...

我以为我可以重新开始，以为我有机会。。。
原来只是我自作多情。。
又再一次受伤。。

tsk tsk tsk...
袁述惠啊袁述惠。。
你什么时候才肯学乖啊？？
你什么时候才可以管住你的心？？
再这样下去。。
你想伤到什么程度你才肯罢手？。。。

等。

我以为我真的没事了。。。真的以为我可以面对，不能面对的是她。。但为什么我现在那么纠结？。。那么难过。。

两年了。整整两年没有任何联络。。整整两年失去任何关于你的消息。我想打听都无处可寻，因你的同党都恨死我了。虽然昨天只是很随性的聊聊天，我却已经很开心了。没有什么比这个更好的礼物了。前天我反复无法入眠，是因为你的信息，因为你竟然安排时间见我。。这个我早就已经不敢在有奢望的愿望，它竟然实现了。你知道我有多紧张吗？昨天下午我病了，就连睡午觉我都会惊醒，急急忙忙找手表深怕我会睡过头。。其实我一到就看到你的车。。但我真的不敢往内看。。深知我伤你太深，就连你家人都恨我。。。终于见到你本人了，不再是相片里的你，而是活生生的你，坐在我的对面。很庆幸，我们的谈话没有很尴尬，没有很冷场。这是我最担心会发生的。。还好还好。。。最庆幸的是我们是以朋友的身份见面。我已经等这个名词等好久了。。。从分开到现在，大概三年了吧。。。

我知道你还不愿意跟我联络，所以我也不强求。这样就已经很好了。。久久见一次，只要不尴尬就可以了。我不小心在电话里洗了你的blog的网址，所以我没有其他途径可以知道你的消息。fb我也不是常常去你profile，只是有时在我的homepage的时候看到就读一下而已。没有stalk你。不用担心。

等你的季节，是我最近很喜欢的歌。有空就听听看吧。。我会继续等下去。总有一天我们可以像从前一样谈心，聊天聊地。我深信。

First Day in HK

This is so scary... i left sg to HK for my adventure... i am brave or i should say, i am pretending i am brave at changi airport. and i waves and say goodbye with my mum. on flight everything is fine. may be is because of the past experience in US, i am not scared. but after arrived at HK international airport, i am kinda scared... this is so scary!!! I cant find my way and i don't know what to do nor where to go.. first of all, buy octopus card(ezlink). next get a map. next get a sim card. first 2 went smoothly, the third, i cant find it... i din c any shop that sell the card... i am so scared...

now i am on bus to go my hotel... i am very very worry now... i cant speak cantonese and my eng is kinda broken.. i am scared... i am sitting opp a mother and a son, and they speak in proper british english.. oh gosh.... why i din learn cantonese well??? gosh....

crap...

this is soooooo tiring.... may b this is something call "price".. for a scary trip, i need to endure so much pain.. *sigh..

btw, i just reformat my laptop to 64 bit win 7. it is such a pain!!!! i was in sch until 11pm just to reformat it... drivers and applications are diff. need to prepare from scratch again.. but the performance is faster indeed.. unfortunately, my new bluetooth mouse is not compatible with 64 bit. so i waste my money again.. = ="

n yesterday i was very very bz typing emails and documents for Immersion Program. the worst thing is the advisor is on leave. so no one approve those documents. so anything happen, is non my business.

i pack my luggage until 2am, and supposingly need to go JB by 10am. so i wake up quite early... now i am damn tired.. panda panda..

now on the way to jurong east from tampines.... crap....

如果能让我选择，我可以是谁和我是谁，我希望我是后者。。。但往往。。。我都会是前者。好累好累。。。累得我不想再放任何感情，就这样过一辈子好了。。但现实总跟我唱反调。让疲惫不堪的我累上加累。。。我好累。。

Oh ya... just now was dinner with TPIS main comm at Pasir ris downtown. were playing truth or dare. Lucky me =P I was kiss by a girl! Woohoo!! n is a great beauty xD this game is lamr, but fun.. hahahahaha...