do u know how forgetful i am???? i forgotten u never spend your christmas at Kluang.... is a routine or i should say is a tradition of your family that you must go vacation with your family during christmas period... unfortunately, i had forgotten it... hence, i am very sad and very down when u din online, din reply my sms din even update your fb.... seriously... i am very sad... i even have the feeling that i lost you... again.....

i thought everything will begin to change when you say "v are still friend"... no longer with the thick thick wall between us nor the pacific ocean separate us... but the truth, is not what i thought.... the wall is still there... the ocean is still there....

i noe u hate me... so much that you cant even hear my name... as u really really angry with me.... because i m just the black dot in your life.... polluted your perfect life... as well as your perfect past... i knew... i dun dare to ask for your forgiveness... i knew.... wo mei zi ge yong you...

as u said... u never love me... since u have no feeling toward me at all, i rather u hate me... at least... u would remember who i am.... although.... u hate me to bone....

how u know i dun miss u? i miss u all the time... and i get hurt all the time... i remorse.... the pain... shouldn't bear by u..... i m sorry....

i noe u want to let it go... me too.... i thought i had.... but i got no confident to say i already get over until the day i lost my last breath.... forget is easy.... but not for this case..... because the harder i tried to forget, the clearer i remember them.....

i hate myself too... hate a person is tired.....

if u are tired, i will hate myself double or triple for u...

so just let it go..... tomorrow is still belongs to u....

future is still waiting for u....

your future is in your hand,

and your life are still unwritten...

I knew you aren't talk about me in the post, but i just cant help it.... i m just zi zuo duo qing...

wow... that is tired... maya make my brain upside down, and unity kept drive me crazy. conclusion: ONGD FAIL! Reason: we only improve our programming skill and maya skill but understanding nothing about networking at all. so ONGD FAIL!!!

today quite tired actually... coz recently is too stress indeed... i know my problem and i just dun want to face it.. migraine + backache + insomnia = stress. i noe that... but i cant do anything about it also~ just get used to it la... but i think today's talk is nice, although is too noisy and brief, but i think is nice. coz i think i get enlightenment??

Today stay at sch do ongd, but i still cant get the network thing up too... so frustrated... i need a table at home!!!!!! sitting on ground and do typing on lappy is a kind of torture to my back... i think by end of this year i will bcome hunchback? really tired of staying at sch until so late just for the crap table....

i feel guilty when ppl say i m hardworking.. because i need the table!! and sometime i didn't study at sch, i just watch anime and csi at sch coz sch network is super fast for pps~ wakakaka... if i m the hardworking one, how about zy? imba sia.... so scared to work with him la... he keep doing his ONGD since 4++ until i left he still stay back n do the network stuff.... omg.... as long as i can get my basic stuff up i content le... dun want to compare with his anymore, make me super duper stress...

tonight i must sleep earlier... ton for too many days continuously le.... if dun rest well, i think i might reach aging stage in 2 years time.... sleep sleep sleep!!!!

recently is so buzy..... but i done nothing at all... i think i m too stress which make me feel tired always... migraine just wun let me off at this moment... when the weather is hot, i really hate to move around nor think... bcoz my brain is very very pain.. which make me more lazy than before...

although i want to b full power for this sem, but my body just refuse to cooperate with me... this kind of feeling.... is terrible....

luckily, i din made any decision that may regret myself.. although i really almost asked the question. but i didn't. phew... because nothing had changed.... i thought something may change... but reality tell me that, personality is not that easy to be changed. i shouldn't have any hope anymore, just focus and strike my best... I dun want to torture myself anymore~

I m very happy that linda reply my message~ because last week she din write me anything... so i think i m quite lost.... coz since YOG, v never stop contact each other more than 3 days?? always have message or email.... so when i check my inbox, there is no new mail from her, i am quite sad... anyway, is my fault also... coz i 4got to reply her mail, so she is waiting for my reply also~ hahahahaha.... left 2 weeks... i cant stay up until 3am for her anymore.... since sch reopen, i never chat with her again... so sad.... hope term break can chat with her~ time to sleep!!!