i will wait until tonight. if still no respond, i will take it as a "no" from u all. then i will arrange other things to occupied my free slot.

为什么人与人之间就必须搞得这样水火不容呢？

我不是很明白这个道理。。但是我却是其中的一环。。。

做自己。说起来简单，做起来却是超级的难！！！

我曾经一度迷失自己。。

到一个地步，我分辨不出哪一个才是我自己。。。

根本就没有自己的想法，总是一味的满足别人对自己的期望。

搞得我好累好累。。。

那种生活简直不是人过的。。。

可是幸好我找到了让我用于做决定的方向。

虽然我从一开始就知道，这个方向是错的。

但我还是执迷不悟，一直陷下去。。

虽然我找回了我自己，但却害别人失去自己。

后悔，但已经没有转会的余地。

过去让它过去~~

我不知道我会不会后悔。。

但我想知道你们的想法。

如果你们想跟我庆祝生日的话，请告诉我。

sms也好，fb也好。

可是我的时间全部排满了。

星期一放学后我就没空了，星期二上课一整天，星期三约了人。

如果你们有心，我会安排时间。

但场面会不会尴尬我就不知道了。

这几天，其实我很累很累。。精神上的累。功课上的压力是越来越重。。我的肩上每天都加重许多。或许，是我自己给自己压力。有些时候，我真的觉得，我这样的努力一点都不值得。因为许多人，不需要付出任何的努力，就能达到我付出很多很多的成果。我很不服气。但我只认清一个事实。我就是学的慢。但我相信，“努力”能拉近天才与蠢才之间的距离。而我是正确的。如果你问我，我到底为学业付出多少时间？我会说，25hours per day and 8days per week. 或许真的有点夸张。但这真的是事实。读Poly对我来说一点都不简单。。当我听到有人说我本来就是聪明的，所以成绩那么好，我会生气。因为我付出的时间和努力，远远超过了这个成绩可以证明的。大家都从0开始努力。我却要从－100开始。。因为我没有天资。大家只需要努力到100就可以了，我却要付出到1000或10000。。后天的努力，又有谁知道。。。与其羡慕我现在的成绩，我只觉得惭愧。。我只是个平庸的笨蛋，第一名对我来说。。只是个幻觉。。像泡沫一样不真实。轻轻一碰，就破了。这个学期，我觉得我会死掉。。因为1000已经不够了。。1000000倍的努力才足够？？？

或许没有人知道为什么我离开。我只能说，不是因为感情而逃避。而是我失望了。绝望了。。被利用够了。我是好人。但不是好到能够忍受不被尊重的地步。把我当什么了？我受够了。。。

朋友还是表面一点。太深，伤的越深。

心脏停止跳动的感觉。。我今天终于感受到了。。
就在读完你部落格最后一行的那一刻，
我的心脏，停了一秒。
乱掉的心跳。。。
我分不出这是高兴？还是难过。。。
一直以来我都知道。。你心里有一个人。。。
我想。。
这次，你会是幸福的。
希望，你心里的那个人，会好好待你。

因为。。你值得最好的。

i dunno would u c this post... or ever view my blog since 23.08.2009... but i dunno what can i do o how to let u know how i feel now... although this is meaningless to u.. but... i don't know...

well.. it is usual that ur clique will celebrates ur birthday with u every year.. i noe ur a.h. friend would do the same also.. n ur family definitely would celebrate for u coz u r their little princess always. =) i noe u get a lots of presents every year... n this year, i din give u any.. i dunno what can i give u... other than leave u alone... if i give u angpao, u r much more richer than me, money may means nothing to u.. if i give u presents, i dunno what u need nor what u like... may b key n locks, but do i have the chance to give it to u? now i still doubt will u answer my call later... or i should just sms u instead? or i might only allow to wish u on fb? i understand how much u hate me... i hate myself more than u do... may b u might think i m despicable... i ask ur cousin pass u sweets... which u would never want to c it again... i regret now... i m sorry... my intention is good...i just wanted to give u something that u cant get in klg... may b i made a mistake... u never like candy.. is me who like it very much... i m sorry... really sorry...

i think... i never c u again since june? before i departure to taiwan... but v never contact again since cny... is very sad isn't it... i noe is hard to forget everything in the past... n myself... i cant either... but i hope u can step forward... never look back again... since u had made a decision, it is no point to look back and no way to turn back also... i wish u all the best in ur future... every seconds, i hope u r fine and healthy... i love to c ur smile, so.. do smile more =) b the confident u! coz u r the superwoman, so easy! wish u good health and wisdom... Happy birthday.. My dearest friend, song ying sze.

I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

I wun trust in anyone from this second onward. especially classmate!!!!! those 5ppl!!! I HATE U!!!!!

the reason is because u fail me again n again. no more trust is worth to spend on u. make me like idiot!!! DAMN!!!!!

sshhhhssssss...... this is a secret....

after 3 days of contineously working, my body is very very tired... hope today will b less busy... my ankle pain again.. because i fall and sprainked my ankle again... so now, i m wearing ankle guard to work... actually i m pretty sick now... but... i had gave my schedule... so i must go work if i still can move... tired ar.....

tmr i going back to klg.. but before that i need to go tp rawk dry run.. by the time i go back, is rush hour... = =" i hate it.. i dun want to miss the last bus to go back klg... dunno la... hopefully it can end earlier..

last night i dream of u... but i noe it is not reality... u wun ask me out... nor ask how m i doing... but i do hope i have the chance to c u again... haiz...

i m confused... i dunno what you r thinking right now... aren't you mad at me?

today i work as runner today... what a busy day... is really very busy.... just like a weekend... i got jam queue and jam topping... n fall 3 time in kitchen.. although i din get hurt, but i still very not happy with it.. i m so tired now... i dun even have strength to walk or lift stuff... the orders just wun stop from 6pm to 9.20pm... i think our outlet earn quite a lot today.. although quite a lot of wrong orders in the morning... oh ya!!! today the maki aunty make a special sal skin maki for me =) everytime i come as a customer, they just wun serve me the special one... but today i ate it FOC!!! hahahaa.... of coz is hiding from the chef de la.. hahahahaha... but the maki is very very nice!!! my favourite maki =D i m very tired... but i had promise my supervisor will go to work this week... cannot b too slack... although i m still considering transfer to another outlet.... anyway... may b i will go to T1 again to observe or ask the manager how they work like... coz vivo style is very different from other outlet...

i think my eyes should b very red now... coz i had wear contact lens for more than 10 hours le... body tires, eyes tired, mind also tired... haiz... what a painful life....

well... i knew it long time ago... just that... i pretend that i dunno... finally, u spoke out..
i knew u want me to let go everything... u want me to forget everything...... i knew... but... since you did not mention anything about me nor anything related to me nor talking to me in your post, why i cant read leh? i noe u will say since is not related to me, what for i reading? but if u have nothing to hide from me, there isn't any reason that can stop me from show concern to u... i did not interupt ur life, i m just a random reader...

i dunno u anymore... i dun understand ur thinking anymore... n i m not suppose to understand isn't it? although i noe you aren't mention about me in ur blog, and i did not put the person in my position. i knew the person isn't me. i understood it.

this year, i didn't prepare any birthday gift for u... because i knew i wun have the chance to greet you also... although i m at klg by tat time, but i knew it very well... u wun c me... isn't it?

today is my colleague's last day in sushi tei.... i really though that i wun feel anything about it... coz she is just a trainee from filipine... v always play around... jokes around... she is really very nice ppl... v have farewell at McD after work... my tear just cant stop... when she hug me, i really feel lost.... coz i saw her growth in sushi tei... from blur blur de her, until super steady service staff.... she is great... cant bear to part with her... michelle.... mahal kita... i will miss u...

今天我休假。。所以我睡得很迟才起身。。可是睡多了，反而更累。。。所以累得差不多了，我就逼自己起来，可是身体还是想赖床。。。躺在床上看了两三个小时的CSI才起来做家务。。因为六点跟表姐有约，所以五点半要出门。

今天抹了三次地。因为房间的地板真的是太肮脏了！！！应该有一个月没有人抹了吧？？因为要抹地，一定要一个人不在家。不然房间太小，会很麻烦。。所以。。。我不在家，她也没有抹地。。 ==" 所以这次她不在家，我就赶快抹地，不然这样肮脏的房间我不知道还可以忍受到几时。。。 == 其实我是很爱干净的人。只是我太懒惰，所以我的东西都乱七八糟的。。但是我是井井有条的人来的！

算了。。打扫的事弄得我累死了。。。眼镜又坏了。。所以这几天要戴隐形眼镜才可以。。虽然我不喜欢，戴了眼睛会很累。。。但是没办法。。谁叫我一个月开两套隐形眼镜。。。现在要轮流戴才可以，不然就太浪费了！！！现在的隐形眼镜越卖越贵。。==" 显。。。

其实我真的是累死了。。。走路都飘飘的。。又忘记要搭几号巴士去Joo Chiat。。。笨死了。。。真的是想不起来。。我应该有三四个月没有去表姐那里了吧。。。我只记得要去Bedok转车，其他的都不记得。。所以以上巴士就努力上网，希望我的记忆会回来。。谁知我笨死了，坐在一个不对的位子，因为会晕车，所以头晕头痛。。。真的是一个笨死了的位子！我没有想到会遇到不该遇到的人。我不说话，因为我很不自在。。难道看不出来吗？我不回信息，因为我不想回。因为我知道我会说出很伤人的话。难道真的要我说出来伤害人吗？其实我很想戴上耳机，当作听不到，看不到。。我不这么做，只是给你朋友和老师面子。。我说我没生气你会相信吗？

或许，我应该在这里跟你说清楚。再拖下去，我不知道什么时候才会恢复正常。我跟你是不可能的。不用浪费时间了。你不是我所喜欢的类型。如果你是男生，我或许还会喜欢你的疯疯癫癫，无厘头，粗鲁的语调。但你是女生。很抱歉，我所喜欢的是文静，温柔，有思想的女孩。不需要为了谁而改变。因为真正喜欢你的人应该要接受你的本质，喜欢你的性格。Just the way you are. 虽然我是Bi,但不代表我不了解一个女生的感受。很抱歉，我不会喜欢上你。我很抱歉之前向你提出追求，因为那时我相信奇迹。相信就算我不喜欢你，你总有一天能感动我，让我爱上你。。但事实却不是这样。。你的热情，让我害怕，让我逃避。。所以我只能说声抱歉。现在的我，很努力地回到straight。毕竟。。这样轰轰烈烈的恋情，并不适合我的身份。。。不管我怎么改变，我始终都还是牧师的孩子。怎么样都没有办法逃离基督徒的枷锁。现在的我，只想在我还有气息的时候，荣耀我的上帝。

不管你相信还是不信，我想静静等待属于我的天长地久。昨天我也跟Linda坦白我是bi.但我清楚，接下来只会有两种结果。一就是鄙视我，因为瑞士是个基督教国家。思想很保守。二就是接受这样的我，可能欧洲是思想开放的，而她可能接受开放思想的教育。我不知道她是怎么想，但我已经做好准备。两种结果我都接受。因为我不想为任何人改变。Just the way i am.

最近其实很压力，因为我已经over budget了。。要开学了。。我不知道怎么面对。。你的生日要到了。。我选择了回去。。。但我也很清楚，你不会想在那天见到我。。。所以我也不知道我回去干嘛。。或许。。。只是想逃避新加坡的压力。。。又或许。。。希望在某个时间，某个地点，不小心的碰见你。。。虽然我知道那是不可能的。。。。或许。。。就像你一直说的，我们之间没有缘分。。

I think... i had let u down again....

well... yesterday is not a very nice memory for me... a lot of happening... dun like it at all...

firstly is i get diarrhoea... make me unable to sleep well until morning.. then i m weak n tired... but i need to go sch to b TPIS's immersion program helper. then my group leader is a noob! like idiot la... as group leader but dunno what to do next is really a big failure... although he come from the same hometown as me, i wun simpathy him also. to me, this is untolerant mistake.

then i leave early because i got sushi tei's D&D.. when i reached home is already 4.30pm... n i m out of time.. rushing n rushing... but i still met peak hour... with extra charge of taxi fare... 18.40.. plus dizzy also... coz the cab drive keep accelerate and brake...= =" i really hate it... go D&D i get nothing, but i have to pay so much for it.. may b next year wun go le.. too bo hua for me... coz the dishes are all seafood. then v get beer voucher when v get there. each ppl is entitle to 2 beer voucher, so each ppl only can drink 2 glasses.. i dun drink alcoholic drinks, so i gave it away.. my asist manager sat beside me. she drinks a lot of beer... at least 10 glasses... so until half way, she drunk.. started to talk nonsense, scold ppl, screaming.. but because she drunk when the performance time, so is unnoticable... coz everyone is shouting for their respective outlet's representative... but after the performance, she is angry bcoz vivo din get 1st. she start to say bosses are bias... and she want to punch the boss for it... this is scary... i never seen ppl drunk until like this... my supervisor press her on the chair, and her best friend from another outlet also come n press her.. she is strong... indeed... she struggle.. but then her gitlfriend come and bring her out... she refused, so they give her another beer... but the beer splashed on my jeans.. = =" i dun like it... so i wanted to leave... my 2 colleagues wanted to share cab wih me, so v go tgt...

when v get to the entrance, another colleague of mine also drunk.. then v sent her home also.. coz she stay near by to our place.. i dun get it.. y ppl want to drunk leh?? she say she is dizzy, so hold her n let her lie on my shoulder... my colleagues tease me, coz she hug me in the cab... like couple?? so they laugh all the way from orchard hotel until bedok... luckily they din took photo of it... lol.... but i dun like the smell of alcohol... when i reached home, i was beated... n i overslept today... 11am only wake up... so now i already late for work... good luck to me..

surprisingly... linda reply my fb message this week... usually she dun reply mesage during weekends... so i m a bit shock.. i just ask some casual question... so the reply also short n sweet.. anyway, i m happy to c her reply =)

i m very very tired recently... can say is restless... my workplace is super bz... n i dunno why so many ppl like to come our shop so much.. the queue is like bomb... this second all the queue is cleared, the next second aroung 20 set of queues appears... is super fast... my body is tired... my mind also tired... next week i only scheduled 3 working day. coz my schedule is being canceled.. is like WTH.... they cancel my schedule when i need money the most time.... damn it! anyway... may b is my fault also.. coz i late too frequent recently... like i late 2 times in a week... my manager also quite unhappy about it.. may b they also considering transfer me to T1 outlet... i dunno leh.. T1 is like damn sux la... the food is damn bad... n T1 got a lot of extra lunch set la... express meal la... coz their business not good, so need to do a lot of promo set...

haiz... tired... dun like working... but is no choice de lo...

when i saw cyclist, i cant stop myself from staring at them... in my heart, i miss those days..

i got sore throat... which make me feel very pain when i talk.. but i cant avoid talking.. lol... sad right? monday i going to sch for international student orientation.. last year i was freshman, now is my turn to guide those freshman.. hahaha...

i hate loneliness... but i already get used to it since the day i let go... it is still pain in my heart.. but the feeling fades when time goes by... i enjoy my personal time =) no stress, no restriction.. i can do whatever i want to do.. daze.. sleep... buy food xD watch pps... i do enjoy my life now =) so i not going back this time... just like last year... u prohibited me to celebrate ur birthday... yet u still sang birthday song for me.. i m glad.. but i think this year.. i dun have the chance... coz...

omg... i overslept again... i supposed to wake up before 9am and go to sch at 10 to return IITSc's shirt.. but i wake up around 1.30pm.. make me super rush to working coz i got laundry to do n i need to eat my lunch... anyway... this morning i so some research on linda's fon.. wow... is really WOW... damn good spect la... n is just release at mid june.. is as nice as iphone 4...

i m very tired... dunno y... may b too much of stress?? i cant sleep well recently... kept dreaming about working... is not a good sign... =( recently pass by TBP so frwquent n make me miss the YOG days... but i miss linda most la.. lol... even v din stop contact each other since she left, but i still miss her very much.. so sad.. is impossible to go back to the past... so no point keep thinking of the past. now i should focus on how to earn money to cover my expenses... no extra time to think about useless stuff.

tmr i going to sentosa.. = =" may b is another sun burn time for me... i hate beach... is hot and not fun at all... anyway,, i going to eat sushi tei tmr... so stress up recently... must go pamper myself... =)

things just get more n more complicated recently...

today i wake up quite late, although i slept very early last night... may b is because i wake up too early which make my body exhausted... today is very tired at working.. may b i rest for too long le.. my legs are like made of stone.. hard to move around... actually today i wanted to wear contact lens... but my eyes are just too red and pain, so i cant wear.. may b tmr i will wear.. coz if i dun wear often is like very waste.. then this morning read linda's reply, she is in holiday now for 2 weeks, but she have to report to working everyday. =( means, no holiday actually.. my roommate going to cambodia for ocp... dunno will i get chosen? may b no ba... limited seats only... haiz...

these days i felt i rely more on my N900 than my lappy.. coz i can do everything with N900 other than watch pps... so i din bring my lappy back to m'sia... then i use my dad's netbook to watch pps. but cant msn, coz his netbook is either too slow or not installed with msn. n i lazy to on msn while i using fb... my mum is like always stalk me when i at home la... she will kept my hp away from me when i nap o sleep, and she dun allow me to sleep late when i at klg.. so i quite behave myself when i at home.. i think i had not login to msn around 2 weeks ady?? i also not very sure...

i felt tired on any relationship... felt tired to disguise myself.. so i tell myself.. no more puppy love... it is tired and hurt..

i m really very very tired today... not only because of working... is because of crying... i told my aunt about my financial status now.. then i cry non stop coz she understand me so well.. since young, she is the one who dote me most... so i always meet her at sg.. but she going back to m'sia by end of dec.. so ya.. i going to lost my only support in sg soon...

last night i suddently woke up at 3.30am.. then i grab my fon.. i saw i got new message on fb gadget, so i go fb.. so coincident she is there.. but i noe at most 3.40am she sure go to bed de.. so chat around 5 sentences, v both offline and go to sleep... just now she message me also.. ask me some strange question.. may b v din chat for too long, no common topic le.. but nvm.. i can "配合" her..

i am very tired now... not going to wait for her reply...

I dun think anyone would understand my situation... ppl just think that i m so money minded and forget my health.. but actually it isn't the truth... I care my health more than anybody! just that i cant do anything about it.. i know why my parent want me to come back as soon as possible for blood test. coz the lab ppl told them if i dun take medication, i will transform into leukeamia.. i m ok.. but i noe my body is very very not good.. the dizzyness occurs more and more often... sometimes i cant pretend i m ok, so i shown tired faces... but other ppl just thought i din have enough sleep...this is bad.. my image is ruined.. i did put in 100 percent in my job. I m NOT SLACKER!!!

then the doc ask me not to work so much in future. coz my condition is i dun have enough blood... so the oxygen level in my body is very low, and the flow of blood is slow.. and he ask me not to eat chicken rice anymore. if not i might get heart diseases.. but what can i do??? u r not me.. u dunno my situation... financial difficulties is still the biggest problem that i faced... i earn SGD489 last month, in 1 day, my account left 38 dollar only... do u know how stress i m??? I need to pay rental $250 by 13 and i need transport fees around $85, starhub $72 etc.. excluded my meal... i can only tell u, i can only drink plain water everyday for my meal everyday.. no extra money for any food. every month i need at least $550 to support my expenses.. at least! but now... i dunno what can i do... without any financial support from my family... i really dunno what to do... if i dun go work, yes i can save money.. but i will not be enough for the next month expenses.. additional i still need to pay for some debt that is not make by me... i dun have any mood to celebrate my birthday anymore...

i know 2.2 will be a very bz year for me.. but i dunno what can i do... nobody is able to support me anymore... should i stop and quit studies? i have really no confident in it... if i want to continue, i need to work a lot... and my parent want me to go church every sunday... which is impossible for me if they want me to support all my expenses myself without any support from them... conflict!!! but who bother??? nobody! i wish i wun gone crazy with these stress on my shoulder... i hate to come back... everytime i come back, surely got tons and tons of financial burden added on me... they always ask me to quit job if i cant handle my studies... but the next second they will tell me how tight is our family financial budget... WTH!!!! give me so many stress... i got a lot of calculation want to do... but i dun dare to do it at home... coz they feel stress also... what m i going to do?????????? i need the budget list.. but i cant give them pressure... omg.... who can help me?? i doubt nobody...

i decided to kill my health for my family wellfare.. so i going to work 10 days full next week... although i would faint and die, i left with no choice at all... this is the only way that can help my family out from debt... $2200 of debt is on my shoulder now... i really dunno how to solve... at most i can get for next month is $900.. when school start, everything is go back to same again... at least $550 is needed for each month... dec is the toughest time.. school fees.. approximitely $450... so is $1000 on my shoulder... will i die??? i cant die... but i cant survives neither... at the end is still my fault... is i who make my family finance so down... no way to go back.... i dunno what to do......

my tears cant stop now... so stressfull..... n nobody can help me.... home sweet home?? home isn't sweet anymore everytime i come back... is so stressfull and painful.... i cant even cry out loud.... may b i should say i m not allow to cry... i hate numbers..... so much.... crying make my head so pain......

this morning just hear a song from youtube. is 'just the way you are' cover by JS. is damn nice!!! the lyric is nice. and JS vocal is awesome =) i also wish to have someone would appreciate me just the way i am...

then i come back to m'sia after i shopping awhile at TM.. although i din buy a lot of stuff, but i did spend a lot of money... i just want to fulfill my promise..

then i tell my family i am 1st in cohord, so my sis treat me pizza!! before that i went to c doctor for consultation on my blood report. he say something must b wrong with my blood report. coz impossible for all 3 composition of blood out of scale at the same time... i got low in red blood cell, very high in white blood cell and high in plalette.. so he cant b very sure that i am thalasemia or not.. then tmr do the blood test again to confirm which composition is high and what medicine i need. if i still low in red blood cell, then need to do the 3rd test for thalasemia... = =" i hate blood test... coz i need to fasting before the test...

linda din online for quite a few days le... i so boring...

actually i m on the way to working now... i m very very very very tired now... but i think i still have to go work coz i gave my schedule le.. last night i slept around 1.45.. coz i miss 2 episode of the drama when i was at camp, so i watch them after i have my bath.. then b4 i go sleep i fb awhile.. surprisingly linda sent me a message to show concern to me =) i am very surprise.. really.. coz usually she wun send me message other than reply my question.. but she din fb for quite a few days le.. so i dunno will she reply me...

yesterday is the last day of TBC. i am very glad that i din give up until the last minute. although i really felt very sick, but i din thought of giving up. i m survivor!!!

well... i dunno what to say.. the delay is there... but the games are awesome.. although i din really enjoy very much.. huntgry make me sprint for around 500m.. make my leg damn pain.. but is fun... then final clash i out around 5 minutes from the start.. but i do enjoy watching other ppl playing.. =) then when the closing time, yongyi and yongwei cry.. i noe tat feeling.. because i was camp commander before also.. lol.. anyway, this is not the best camp i went, but is a nice camp actually..

today is the 2nd day of iit team bonding camp.. i slept at 5.30am last night... so i m really not enuf sleep de condition... wake up in the early morning then we watch the answer for night walk.. actually my guess was right... but nobody trust my answer, so v get very poor marks for night walk.. but is ok la.. v still at 2nd =)

then is the wet game.. i did play until very very jalat.. everything chiong 1st to play.. coz the girl is damn shy and my group is very passive.. the "high" is very hard to get.. but i did tried my best to do everything i can.. may b some ppl will hate me for that.. coz is like i suddently ask them to follow my command. but i m not intention to do that..

then after wet game i m not feeling well.. because weather is too cold.. then i got headache.. although i noe panadol cannot reduce my pain also, but i still take it as precaution.. if not by now i already high fever le.. then is field cooking. i like it a lot sia!!! coz i never try this befor at m'sia.. at most v get is a sadine can, a white candle, matches, egg. is very hard to get the egg cooked. then if the egg is not cooked, v still have to eat it. so today the field cooking is damn fun to me =) and i ate a lot of rice for dinner.. although v only have dinner around 9.30pm..

after v done the field cooking, i did fell twice.. coz i really felt very very dizzy and the blood like cannot reach my brain... after that i m really not feeling well le.. coz i really feeling dizzy all the way... v din do much for night performance.. coz i m not the actors actually.. then suddently they change plan, i have to act also.. so i just sit there like stone. tonight i m really not in perfect condition.. then v saw nicholas dancing. he is damn funny xD but he is good =) really good in IITSC!! i noe v will not get good position tmr. but i enjoy the whole process.. is fun and nice... although i m not feeling well, but i think this is worth..

i have a lot of thing to say.. but i think i better say "no comments" now.. i noe and i understand... i m fine. dun worry about me =)

Well, today is the first day of the IIT subcom camp... i woke up quite early in the morning because my colleague want me to sent something to eunos mrt station.. so i go off from my house quite early.. and i sleep super little... last night was watching drama until 2.30++ then i pack my stuff and do laundry... so i m quite tired today..

the first game is ice breaking.. seriously, i hate it alot because it always make me look like idiot.. but this time round is ok la.. coz got experience from week zero camp le, just be nice, cooperate then ok ady.. anyway, i din really get to know a lot of ppl after ice breaking...

then is the second activities, treasure hunt. Is very long and tiring... in the afternoon is raining.. so it make me feel uncomfortable.. after some running i felt headache and dizzy... but is still managable la.. but after the long treasure hunt i really damn tired and exhausted.. when v sit in the LT, i felt damn dizzy.. may b other ppl din notice.. but i really cant forcus and think.. then my FA bring us props to make group flag... i do very little only..


coz i damn tired... then v stay in the LT again for rotting.. May b is because of the aircon.. i felt more dizzy and headache.. after dinner is the horror movie time.. i just plug in my ears piece and blast music in my ears. =) so i din watch a lot.. and i black out for a few second.. i think?? coz when i recover already a new movie le.. then they change a more horrible movie. then i sleep again.. may b around 30 minutes?? i also not sure..

then is the night walk.. v r 3 ppl in a group.. is quite scary actually... but not horrible... the main comm sacrifies a lot lo.. they scream like hell and put make up like ghost.. v take slow and steady tactic.. just do it slowly.. coz they not suppose to touch us.. so i ok.. when i turn around i almost hit a main comm behind me.. hahaha... but is ok la.. the night walk got some light on, so overall is still visible but cant c clearly.. luckily my group is brave enuf.. nobody scream, just stay calm and endure.. but when v complete, v actually damn scared.. hahahahahahah... anyway.. is ok ok lo...

then v come back to LT again, then desmond tell us all the ghost story happen in TP... i hear some only.. coz i damn scare about ghost story de.. so i plug in my ear pieces, blast music and write blog at this moment XD that's all for today's camp.. but i think the night walk will drag until 1am+++++ then only release us to rest..

overall my body still can stand it.. just the headache and dizzyness make me feel very uncomfortable.. may be tmr will be better if i can rest well tonight... but i think the chances that i can sleep well tonight is less than 10 percent lo... lol...