今天难得我off day。。。
其实我自己都并不知道今天是我off
因为大家都没有教我看schedule。。
结果去到那边manager跟我讲今天我没有做，可以回家休息
有一点显完。。。

昨天是我第三天做工
不一样的night duty，
但比前两天还多工
可是教我的人很好，我只是做一点点就可以去休息了
新人就是有这种好处^^

我今天早上是被吓醒的
我做噩梦了
梦到晚上十点还有customer进来，
served到十一点customer还不要走，
最后又是我檫桌子，檫到一半又有人进来。。。
最后都不能回家。。。
我整个人是跳起来的
吓死我了。。。

下个星期我好像也有一天off
不是我选的，是经理排的
因为我还在observations period。。。
所以最好还是不要多多要求比较好。。。
等我十四天过完了，我就拿七天。

我不明白
为什么人的思想那么复杂？
简简单单不好吗？
我觉得不管什么事情都有解决的方法
只是在乎自己要不要去面对
没有能不能，只有愿不愿意
只要你愿意去找出解决的方法，就一定可以解决
我没办法改变别人，所以我尽力的改变自己
改变一下mind set，改变一下point of view，
你就会发现其实每一件事情不是只有单单一面
可以有很多种不同的理解方式

我喜欢简单
我喜欢单纯
就算会被人家说我很白痴，很傻
就算会常常被欺负，
我甘愿。
我不喜欢勾心斗角
更不喜欢介入别人的私事
因为人心很复杂

我喜欢自己一个人
我喜欢安静的时刻
但我讨厌寂寞
也讨厌八卦

如果你想找我说心事，
我欢迎。
但不要用奇奇怪怪的问题问我
我是很笨的，><"
听不懂你深奥的暗示。。。
你只需要说，“可以陪我一下吗？”
我会把耳朵借给你。

朋友。
我一直都在。
只是我不会是主动的那一个。。。

昨天是第一天上班
真的跟我想象的有很大的出入
我没想到做侍应生要那么多体力的
做了一天我全身都散掉了

因为我是first day，
所以我的工作只是负责倒茶，问水和clear table
不包括take order和送餐
但是有些顾客真的很欠打
就是不肯多等一下
硬硬要我take order...><

我是真的什么都不会
还没有背menu
所以不知道顾客要点什么。。
搞得我朋友一直要帮我repeat order
T_T

到closing的时候最痛苦
因为站一整天了，所以很累了
可是我的工作是檫桌子
要把我section所有的桌子都檫干净
还有menu也要檫
真的很累

很多人都问我薪水多少
其实我不知道。。
因为那天我interview的时候
他说：“observations fourteen days。五块钱。weekend八块钱一小时，但是observations period没有算。”
所以我不知道是一天五块还是一小时五块。。。
但我可以告诉你，就算是一天五块我都做。
因为知识十四天五块，过后就算小时了。
只要够cover我还是愿意的。
因为我真的要存很多钱

我要去睡了
明天还有上班。
接下来我会拿两个星期没有off
快快过掉它的observations period
所以会更加累
加油加油！！！
我一定行！

Jaa matta kondo.
Oya~

wa.... quite a few days din post le....

seem like a lot of ppl quite worry about me ya~

hahaha...

thanks for your concern...

Currently I'm Perfectly fine.

so... No worry~

this CNY is a very memorable memory for me

have the chance to c u again after u hiding from me 6 months

n first time go Singaporean's house bai nian on CNY

n found a job~

hahaha

is a great experience for me

thanks shermaine and tricia for let me visit ur house ya~

thanks a lot~

this is pinky. Tricia's pet... hahaha

yesterday rain...

so i got a bit cold now...

but i think i can tahan

so no worry

today go watch movie with my friend.

she also my senior at working

she is the one who intro me to this job de

ya...

she bring me tour around vivo city and bring me to arcade

is fun la~

i like it!

first time play shooting game!

woohoo!!!

n watch Big small soldier with her

nice movie sia~ funny^^

but the ending quite sad lo...

she bring me to the working place to have dinner

she order alot la...

full until i cannot eat anymore still got dessert

wa..........

but the food is nice

n quite expensive... ><

anyway, is on her treat...

so ya...

quite paiseh

next time treat her back ba~

i think i can handle the work

through my observation today,

i think is manageable....

strike for my sch fee!!!!!

GO GO GO!!!

i think i name myself Kaede ba....

Makoto also not bad....

or Shun....

hahaha...

i think Kaede not bad...

coz tat day i also found Momiji

but sound not so nice...

haha.... Kaede ok ba

is time to bed now...

Jaa matta kondo!

minasan Oyasuminasai

我一直在这里

永远都不会离开。

这是我很久以前就答应你的

难道你已经忘记了吗。。。

你不是一脚踏两船

因为我和你没有开始过

也没有在一起过（这是你说的）

所以不算。

他是你所喜欢的不是吗？

你爱上他的好。

我祝福你。

喜欢一个人要付出多大的努力你或许不知道

但要不喜欢一个人需要付出的努力是你永远无法想像的

那种心痛分分秒秒都伴随着我，

那种想找你的冲动我更是分分秒秒在经历。。

但我宁愿。

与其让你为难，我宁愿退出。

我说过不会让你压力，我就不会再做你的压力。

加油！你一定行！

放心去爱吧。对自己有自信一点。

你自己的条件一点都不差。

I have ur back.

不管你做什么决定，

有我支持你！

错误有我替你扛。

只要你是幸福的，我什么都愿意。

谢谢你对我没有隐瞒。。

谢谢你。。。

ooo.... have not been here for a week....

minasan gomennasai neh...

kinda quite bz...

coz i got 2 assignment due on the same week...

so ya....

quite bz and tiring...

now quite tired...

since this morning i had sit in front of my laptop facing the code for 10 hours...

i noe i'm stupid...

i finish 2 set of code for basic in this 10 hours...

but i really got no time left for my extension...

actually, i got time to do so....

if i no need to do 2 codes....

nvm... is over now...

i had submitted 14pages of oogp status report.

i think i crazy le.

n my dropbox report stated my time is 5.03pm....

i feel like crying on the spot....

coz i upload it on 4.50pm....

the OLE is SUX la!!! if i kena minus mark i sure cry de....

after do the coding n the report,

sync find me yo!

so happy~

i really very happy that u find me today^^

n i apologize that every time u come out with me sure go back late de...

although v did nothing at all...

but i very happy~

thanks for think of me when u want to buy present^^

thanks a lot!

i truly appreciate it..

ya..

thanks for family member for giving me "Merci" as valentine's present..

thanks a lot~

i like milk chocolate~

thanks~

happy Chinese New Year in advance ya~

coz these few days will be very bz...

so ya~

ja matta ne~

最近有点小事

所以我有点烦躁

但现在一切都过去了~

一切应该都会回到正轨吧。。。

我的眼睛还是很红阿。。

怕怕帕！！！

366日是不错的歌

词不错~

有点像我的心声。。

但是我已经放下了

所以听了没哭。

离开你后我学会的第一件事就是坚强。

我很努力。

坚强的面对每一天

坚强的面对我已经回不到过去的事实

时常为自己打气（虽然有点笨）。

我想让你看到不一样的我。。。

我喜欢看到别人开心的脸

但我却什么都不会

哈哈

我去睡了。。。

眼睛很红。。。

minasan oyasuminasai!

Finally, i make my way through in Jap CDS~
is a long long journey...
but is a very memorable experience to me^^
Thanks a lot for the guidance throughout this whole semester~

today i get my result for class test 1 and listening test.

i got a "Very Good" from my sensei~

super happy la!!!!

although i think i din get very good marks,

but my sensei still encourage me

that is the point i mention it here.

i got 54/60 for class test 1,

38/40 for listening test.

ganbatte nihongo o benkyoshimasu!

my new goal is to get JLPT 1!

although i dunno when can i achieve is la...

but i'll put in more effort in self learning~

one day i definitely can achieve it!

i must sleep more today...

exhausted since last week....

n my eye...

the pain is still there...

haiz...

y my specs must be broken when i'm busiest leh...

haiz....

Yosh!!!

2 presentation n 2 assignments to go!

time to strike harder!!!

Ganbarimasu!!!

well...

today i really very emotional...

cant say i really pissed off,

just that...

i dunno y people's thinking is so complicated...

i cherish a lot in friendship

especially when i in singapore.

because all my secondary friends are in KL,

n i broke up....

end up..

i'm alone here all the way since the TP open house 2009.

i dun easily trust in other people.

may b because i get hurt before in the past?

but, when i really trust in a person,

no matter what happen, i'll still trust him/her.

therefore, i seldom doubt other's decision/ability.

i trust in ur decision. Hence, i trust u can do it.

i'm not that kind of people who took the initiatives to ask question.

since i trust in u, i will always respect ur decision.

since i trust in u, i believe you will tell me if u need my help.

"Friends are mean to help one another."

i also believe that true friend can share weal and woe no matter in what situation.

this is what i believes.

i think everyone have their own past...

have happiness one, also have the past that dun wish to remember...

i admit that i scared to step into people's memories.

because i dun like to reveal other people's scar/ sad memories...

hence, i respect ur choices.

if u think i m a trustworthy person to talk to,

and u really feel like to share with me ur past.memories,

u r most welcome.

but i wun give u any comment on ur sharing.

that is ur past, ur memories.

do u think i really have the right to judge ur past?

i personally think that i not qualified.

if u r invited to be here,

i really treat u as my family...

i really treasure and cherish u...

if possible, i really dun wish to lose anyone of u..

i trust in u.

that's y i share my thought and feeling here with u...

i even dun mind u read my older post to know my past...

just because i trust in u....

but if u think my trust is too burden to u, please tell me.

i would never force anyone to do anything.

i'm being accused that "i did not care" for u.

well...

i admit that i dunno how to care people but i'm not "dun care"..

care have many ways isn't it?

must i everyday ask u

"have u eaten?",

"did u have nightmare last night?"

is this care??

i trust in u. tat's y i thought u also trust me....

if u want to tell me, u will tell me isn't it?

i personally is a very sensitive person.

if u suddently ask me something that is too personal to me,

i'll feel offended.

"己所不欲，勿施于人"

since i dun like people ask me my personal stuff,

i also wun ask u ur personal stuff, unless u tell me personally.

is this wrong too??

in the past,

because i "care too much" to my best friend, SYNC

i lost her in the end...

do u know how hurt i m?

can u blame me for that?

she said my trust is too burden to her, my care is too much to her...

that's y i dun step into anyone's memories nor private region now.

knowing is knowing, i'm not involved in then will do.

until now, she is still treat me as stranger.

"普通朋友"

u know how hurting is this term???

u wun know until u really experienced it...

i think i had done my part as a friend.

if u are angry because i din help u on OOGP,

then i think u really have to help urself.

cant u be like sher? my helping is not give u answer word by word.

i only can help u with debugging and implementation.

at least u need to conceptualise it urself,

or figure out what u want to do in that function.

the hardest part of this assignment is not the coding.

is the planning of what ur function want to achieve.

if u cant do coding, i can help u.

but u need to tell me what u want to do in ur function right?

simply copy and type will never help u to improve.

u will never understand c++.

i ask u to read not ask u read blindly.

after read must know what the code trying to say.

the code is not very hard,

it is just simple english...

if u blame me to ask u read until u understand,

then i really have nothing to say.

i'm sorry.

everyone have their own problem.

i'm not saint!

i have my own problem too.

wow..

about 2 days i din come here le...

coz these 2 days i'm too tired...

last sat make me exhausted la...

stupid gathering..

but fun~

tat day i ask Tricia，

u r uchi or soto?

those who can access to here is my uchi.

then she straight away say "soto".

i was like...

"Huh???"

ok lo... i respect u.. this is ur choice.

FYI, uchi is insider, soto is outsider.

well,

i can tell u my treatment to uchi n soto is very huge diff de.

tat's y i feel very awkward today...

when i treat u as my family, yet u treat me like outsider...

my feeling is like...

"did i did something wrong?"

friendship just fade like tat....

anyway, i respect ur choice.

i never force ppl.

if u dun want to help urself,

i really cant do anything.

i believe that everything can solves by strive harder.

coz i dun have the talent in study, hence i strive double than others.

i m not a born scholar....

i really put in a lot of effort in my studies...

u really think that i dun like to play games?

actually i LOVE A LOT to play game!!!

just because of my studies, i sacrificed my only hobby.. T_T

that is y i always wants to watch movie...

coz tat is the only way i can destress...

"My dear friend, you are my last friend."