Releasing my feelings and emotions.

I know not many people read this. But this is the only way I can express my feelings. Someone I know didn't want to layannn. You know who you are. She just said "bah". Anyway, so this is my story...

When I went to this place during D day, Someone and I talked to this guy asking for information and stuff la about something. What I notice was this guy kept looking at me (I know perasaan) eventhough its not me who was asking him questions. That time, I had so many papers in my hand and one of it fell. He wanted to pick it up and so was I. So there was long pause and eventually he picked it up for me.

ok. Thats all. Yea i know its nothing and doesnt mean anything. But, erm I don't know~ That day i sent him a friend request in fb. But I cancelled before he gets to open his facebook I GUESS. =(

Nosferatool

Fat

I'm giving myself just two weeks to lose 5kg. Is that possible? Well I'm trying! Although..I've tried before and it didn't work! I hope I can do it this time. I have the courage NOW (pfftt..)because I just saw one of my friends profile picture, she looks so so pretty and thin. I'm so jealous! Not only her, but also two celebrities I know, Demi lovato and IU . They are my inspiration.

So what I am gonna do is:
1. Do cardio exercise and seat ups everyday
2. No rice/mee/pasta/bread (basically no carbohydrates)
3. Only eat meat and vege
4. Use extra virgin olive oil instead of fat oil
5. Drink just water, maybe also milo kosong

Ok. I know this is crap. But I'm so jobless now. Although there's an exam coming up but still long way to go.haha it's on June. Anyway, I would delete this post if I couldn't lose 5 kg in two weeks.

Yesterday I went to the UBD expo. There was "geology" course available and someone brainwashed me again. He said if u r a geologist, the career opportunity is higher than a computer scientist or a mathematician *sounds so awesome ryte* So I'm still hanging here. I still don't know what to choose.

Nosferatool

18th February 2011

We decided to visit the open day at UBD on the 20th together. Then something came up -.-" and we decided to go with our own transport except Denise kali, she's following fifi. So this is like the start. We are starting to go to our own path of life or "whatever".

Out of many people I know, only 3-5 are planning to study in UBD. Others decided to study abroad(mostly) and ITB. I have never really put in much thoughts about studying outside country. Plus, it's troublesome. U have to pay like $45(?) using credit card to register for UCAS, write a personal statement, waiting for offers and acception and so on~hmm. Not only that, my family does not really give me any courage or any support "UBD saja, inda payah tah ikut urang lain" So I'm like "banar jua ah" it's already set in my head-'stick with UBD!' They also say that when it comes to laptop. I am dying to have one! First thing I'm gonna do when I get it is to install "sims 3" C=

Well alot of people think that, kalau belajar UBD, jadi teacher (u noe who u are, PS: not only u fi). "Apa ko ambil lai" > "maths" > "jadi cigu tah ko tu" My sister keeps experiencing this. Well the answer is No~ Course kan jadi teacher in UBD is no more except for PE teacher.

Ok next topic, 'My body weight'. Few weeks ago when I just had my braces on, I couldn't eat anything hard. So I had bubur etc. and it lasted for just few days. I lost 2 kg. Now, I gained it back. Seriously, wearing braces can still make u fat cause I still can eat anything I want :'( So three days ago, I started to prevent myself from eating alot. But I did't!

-I went out with my friends. We had Sushi for dinner. At the same day/night, my sister bought fish burger from Sugarbun. I had like 1 and 1/2 of it.
-Yesterday, I had kolo mee for breakfast. I went jogging in the evening but I ate Roti nan at night.
- Just now, I ate sweet cookies and I just had Sushi for dinner.

Damn, all the jogs and seatups I did are just a waste! :'( I really need to lose at least 5 kg. So I'm gonna start tomorrow again. *cakap saja pandai, buat nada* ok. I wanna write some more but this "someone" cant wait for me to finish update. -.-"

Nosferatool

Few minutes later, CONTINUATION. So Denise is saying that she types faster than me. Hoho. We'll see (hahaha ego much). Let's play "fast typer 2" k next time. Not tonight cause I have to heat up my fingers first.

Now I wanna talk about Computer science. So my sister just brainwashed me saying that its very easy. Only the topic on "Java" is abit (alot kali) hard, according to her friend. Well Java I think u need to learn about codes. Probably Java is like MS-DOS. You can create games and stuff.

*Cut and paste*
"Computer science is all about computer from hardware design to computer programming. The focus is to study about software and use it to create programs and improve existing ones."

A typical computer science department may be divided into smaller departments such as:

• Artificial Intelligence Department
• Software Engineering and Research Department
• Computer Systems
• Robotics Department
• Language Technology Department
• Entertainment Technology Department
• Human-Computer Interaction Department

Sounds cool isn't it? It might be differ depending on what uni's ur going to. But from what I know, many people can't do it. Some of them failed and had to change to a different course starting from the first year. So, I already made a plan for backup. Not only Im going to take computer science, but also maths as my breadth. When the time comes, my major will be automatically change to maths if I fail my computer science. Coz I don't wanna get left behind.
So after four years, which is 2015 I would finish my degree. OMG so old. I'm gonna be 24! Take master or not? haha.

I hope I can handle computer science la. Last time when I was younger, my sister and my brother keeps complaining about how hard Additional maths was. Well for me, I didn't really complain alot because I handle it pretty well. Too bad I only got a credit. -.-" like them also. So I hope computer sc is like that too and wish that I could finish it off successfully. Get higher grades so that I would be sent out to study abroad.

My friends already plan that, (the ones studying in uk) I could visit them during the holidays. I'm telling u, I will. Insyaallah! hehe in fact I'm gonna study there for six months during my third year in ubd. * I wish* Amin.

Chinese New year 2011

Should've uploaded these pictures in the middle. but too late now. It took forever to upload. All pictures taken by Denise's camera, Panasonic Lumix something2. I think Im gonna buy one like hers. Its so cool and it's not dslr so its not heavy.So this is Fifi holding a glass of tea. Too bad she didnt get high that day.







Aishah, her sister, yasmin and fifi.















Me, Shasha and Zulaika















Us four














All of us












Thats Cappucino cookie in Fifi's hand baked by Denise. It was so good that Yasmin stole it and put inside her bag -.-" Then Denise's dad asked for it and they just kept quiet. HAHA. It was so embarrassing!















































I couldn't smile like this --> C= because I just had my braces on.






































































































We had Soto cooked by Denise's cousin. Every year!!

Crap!

We have just received our A-Level result on 5th february. Alhamdulillah my result is enough to enter UBD but hasnt been confirm yet. Probably we'll receive confirmation by April. Amin if I could get accepted cause I didn't apply to any other unis for backup =s I'm planning to take computer science but people say its really really really hard. So I might change to mathematics.

Unfortunately, all my friends does not put UBD as their first choice. They're gonna leave me alone! Most of them are applying for ITB, scholarship and one is considering RBA course. My friends are the future engineers and pilot. Sounds so awesome and cool. Me? I really don't know. I have no goals or ambition =(

Anyway, my wishlist if i got accepted at ubd (nise, is this better?haha) :-

- Have a laptop (I'm the only one who doesn't have a laptop right now -.-")

- New glasses

- Lots of fancy baju kurung

- Lots of new casual cloths

- New wedges

- New handbag

- New school bag. Thats Kim hyun joong from "Playful kiss" Looveee his bag!

- Kurus macam nicole fox. America's next top petite models cycle 13!

- Have a bf! (conservative muslim(sntnce?), reliable and responsible is what I'm looking for)

- Good grades is the most important one la!

Will add some more if I can think of something else. So lets talk about boyfriend.(haha corny banar) It does sound desperate but really, I don't wanna waste my time looking for one after I've finished UBD. I don't wanna get married when I'm old-er. Yes, I agree that things like these can distract our studies but we can decide not to. It is ourself who control our own brain. so yeah..but I really want a boy-bestfriend than just boyfriend la. haha my point is, I want someone whom I am comfortable with. Someone I'm able to be myself when I'm around him. Someone who loves me for me (eww).

Hmm, so what is love?haha I really can't tell what is love and what is crush. I once had this feeling -> butterflies in stomach when i see him, can't sleep because keep thinking about that person, misses him alot!! Is that what we call love, crush or is it just nafsu?? I just knew that even this kind of feeling 'missing2 u' is haram. I don't know la. I hope my bf wont be the kind of person that keeps saying that, also saying "i love u" after every msges. It is sweet. But not too much la. I hate that! I also do not want someone who give me stupid promises. I don't want us to be trapped in our own promises for example "im gonna love u forever" <- I do not believe this kind of stuff. Love will definitely fade away but the responsibility that counts. Responsibility of taking care and not hurt each other's feeling. Thats what Mr.shim told me. haha I usually don't talk like this but I think this is the right moment to spill out these things. *listening to jiwang song* I wonder if I read this next year, would it be disgusting? haha oh well. We'll see.

Next topic "Jingu" which means "Friend". I know this will sound mean but im just saying. How are we gonna be like after 1-2 years and so on. Still talk? hang out? probably it wont be the same like now. So i'm gonna say in advance "im sorry" kalau aku sudah "ambung". Thats who I am "anti-sosial tah banar" But I hope we still hang out la. Makan2!! hello, freedom! hmm. I'm afraid that I would not have any friends in UBD. Thats crazy! Four years nada kawan? Thats too much! Even in form 6, in pysics class, two years I sat alone.haha. well there was one friend. But not always. Lama sudah nda nampak ea =( I wonder what is he doing now. He's not even online in FB. Did I do something wrong? (~.^)





Photo taken when we were in form 5. 1st august 2008.












Photo taken somewhere in May. Fifi's birthday 2009






Picture below taken on 11th december 2010. Im not able to type next to that picture I duno y.





















Picture taken on 5th Feb 2011 the first day of CNY.

Dream high

Another korean drama I love so much!! I can't really say much about this drama because it's still on episode 8. But I love the story between Pilsook(IU) and Jason(Wooyoung). Pilsook was really fat and in love with Jason. How Pilsook confessed to him was really funny and I liked it. Jason didn't actually reject her love (I think). So in Episode 8, Pilsook asked him if she became prettier would he change his answer. Jason said yes ( it's kinda offensive for me but he has a good reason behind it ) CAN"T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9!!